Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

(kenobi) made his first post!

(kenobi) posted:
I hate living in the modern age.

***

(kenobi) posted:

What does "fr no cap" mean?

(...)

(commander.tano) replied: master Kenobi you can't use this app like Hoogle 😂😂

(commander.tano) replied: it means "for real, no lie", it means you are telling the truth or agreeing with someone else

>(kenobi) replied: How many acronyms and slang words do I have to learn to have a conversation here?

>>(commander.tano) replied: like, a lot

(kenobi) posted:
I am deleting.

(kenobi) posted:

I can't find the delete button.

(kenobi) posted:

Where is the "delete account" button?

(commander.tano) posted:

[A video of Anakin wheezing on the floor.]

@a.skywalker has cried-laughed himself into hiccups 😂😂😂

***

(a.skywalker) posted:
people with one-word urls are sith lords
(...)
(kenobi) replied: What are you talking about?
>(a.skywalker) replied: how else would they get that url if not through the dark side?
>(a.skywalker) replied: hold on a moment...
>(commander.tano) replied: Master Kenobi how did you get that handle? I know someone was using it before and it wasn’t you because they were posting jedi edits and you can’t do edits because youre old 🧐🧐🧐
>>(kenobi) replied: They gave it up out of respect.

***

(commander.tano) posted:

we're finally on leave but I have to hang out with skyguy cause all my friends are on missions and he doesn't have his own friends except like two who are both busy this sucks

(...)

(a.skywalker) replied: I'm not forcing you you little asshole

(a.skywalker) replied: and for your information, I have MANY MORE than two friends

>(commander.tano) replied: oh yeah? name them

>>(a.skywalker) replied: grogu is my friend

>>>(commander.tano) replied: grogu is a toddler

>>>>(a.skywalker) replied: he's 47 actually

>>>>>(commander.tano) replied: he's literally at the goo goo gaa gaa stage of life

>>>>>>(a.skywalker) replied: no he's not, he just doesn't see you as his equal so he's not talking to you. grogu and I are classmates. we're tight.

>>>>>>>(commander.tano) replied: sure. go hang out with grogu then. change his diaper maybe

***

 (commander.tano) posted:

 [A video of a very bad Jedi merch made by someone who clearly doesn't speak basic. Video zooms in one of the t-shirts that has a picture of Ahsoka, edited so much her skin is yellow.]

 in the lover levels with @a.skylwaker. where did they get the pictures of me before my liver transplant?? 😮

(...)

(fivesfivesfives) replied: wym? it looks completely normal 🤨

***

(commander.tano) posted:
[A picture of a stain on a diner's tablecloth that looks a bit like a human face.]
master went to get our order and he's been gone for twenty minutes. everything reminds me of him 😢 I hope he gets me my Jogan fruit cake, the only thing I ever asked of him 😩

***

(commander.tano) posted:

my master forgot to get me a Jogan fruit cookie with my order, he suuuuucks aaaaaaaaaasss😩😩😩

  (...)

>(barisssssss) replied: well, my master once forgot to pick me up after a mission and I was left stranded on a war-torn planetoid alone. like, not even a planet. A planetoid. There's only so many places to hide from missiles on a planetoid.

>>(lumi.duli) replied: Let's not throw stones around. It was a learning experience, was it not, Padawan?

>>>(barisssssss) replied: yes, master. I learned there is no one you can really trust.

>>>>(commander.tano) replied: damn. okay. I'll shut up I guess 😐

***

 (a.skywalker) posted:

 I'm not saying that being a Master isn't a rewarding job in itself, but Padawans can be such ungrateful little shits sometimes. not naming any names, but 😒

  (...)

(commander.tano) replied: excuse you? what am I supposed to be grateful for? your shitty pep talks or those nuggets of wisdom you pull out of your ass once in a while? multiple near-death experiences I had just this week?

>(kenobi): I changed my mind, life is good sometimes.

***

(plokoon104) posted:

[Picture of Obi-wan Kenobi attending a Council meeting, sitting in a chair too big for him, one leg over the other, crossed at the ankle.]

Human behavior will never stop being a mystery to me. Is this not bad for your knees?

  (...)

(akan.ho) replied: Why is he sitting like that? Whore behavior.

***

(a.skywalker) posted:

[A video of himself and Ahsoka posing in matching pink t-shirts with Obi-wan's fanart on the front, drawn inside a heart with a bubbly writing around it saying: "You're the Obi-wan for me!"]

@kenobi master, look what we got!

  (...)

(kenobi) replied: It's awful.

(kenobi) replied: Go get a refund.

>(commander.tano) replied: we also got you this! [Picture of a baby blue t-shirt with a fanart of Anakin inside a heart that says: "Anakin Groundrunner".]

>>(kenobi) replied: It's even worse.

>>>(kenobi) replied: Bring me that thing.

***

(kenobi) posted:

Sometimes you can learn a lot from your Padawan.

(...)

(commander.tano) replied: master kenobi what did you learn from anakin?

>(kenobi) replied: Why some species' eat their young.

***

EXCLUSIVE From Coruscant Gossip:

∆ Obi-wan Kenobi being a total DILF for 15 minutes straight! CLICK HERE TO WATCH (NOT CLICKBAIT!)

∆ We interviewed a Jedi Padawan, Ahsoka Tano about life on the battlefield! Exclusive quotes and pictures! Ahsoka Tano: "I like setting explosives the most, but..." READ MORE HERE!

∆ Love blooming in the Senate? Is this just our collective imagination, or is Sly Moore making eyes at Chancellor Palpatine? Photos +28 READ MORE HERE!

∆ A definitive ranking of Top Ten Best Dressess Senator Amidala Wore This Year! Photos +11 CLICK HERE TO READ!

∆ Clone videos gaining popularity on Holoxy? Here's the Top 100 Viral videos made by the clone troopers and handpicked by our editors! CLICK HERE TO WATCH!

***

(a.skywalker) posted:

[A sneakily taken video of Obi-wan scrolling on his datapad, down voting every single post on Anakin's account.]

whys he doing it???

(...)

(commander.tano) replied: lmaaao he's had holoxy for a day and he's already in a full hater mode 😂😂

(a.skylwaker) posted:

[A sneakily taken video of Obi-wan pausing his scrolling and turning around.]

oh shit