Work Text:
“I’m sorry, Kaidan. I had to make a choice.”
“I understand, Commander. I don’t regret a thing.”
Kaidan reached up and took off his helmet. He took a deep breath of fresh air. It wasn’t so different from the smell of the ocean. The smell of home. He smiled a little to himself. This was a good place to die.
He manually ripped the short-range comm. out of his helmet and crushed it in his hand as another wave of geth touched down. Now he could die in the peace that no one on his team would have to hear this.
“Regroup!” he hollered to the five remaining salarians. “We’re on our own. But were going to take as many of those damn machines with us as we can!”
Not a single soldier said a word, but they all raised their weapons, and that was enough.
Kaidan holstered his rifle as the first of the geth came stalking out, the picture of calm and efficient.
Kaidan had always wondered, in an idle sort of way, how he would finally go out. How he would feel in that moment. He’d always thought he’d be upset. Sad or afraid… something.
He could hear the shift in the pitch of his implant as blue washed over his body, kept pushing it until it was singing and pleasure teased his nerve endings.
He bared his teeth in a grin as gunfire broke across his shield. He bent his fingers, blue crackling across his palm forming one ball, then two, then three. He waited, just like he’d been taught, until the pressure in his palm was almost too much—
And then he hurled them.
Three arcs of light shot straight as an arrow across the battle field, splitting to chase three separate targets at the last minute. He laughed as each hit their mark, and the geth exploded in a shower of sparks.
Shit, it felt good. To finally, finally, let go. He charged another attack and let it build a little more, till he wasn’t sure he could hold the field, just because it felt good.
He reached out across the shallow water, harnessing dark energy and yanking the geth to him like ragdolls, the next second unleashing a warp.
More geth were pouring out. Everywhere he looked, there were more geth. They were endless.
He laughed again. He pulled, lifted, and threw. He tried a reave just for the hell of it.
He was having the time of his life.
He didn’t even feel it when the first bullet broke past his barrier.
The tickling sensation of something crawling down his arm had him quickly scratching at his armor in vain. His fingertips came away wet. That’s when the pain hit. A deep throb in his left shoulder. He ignored it, pushed his muscles to keep working, pulled on his amp in a way he hadn’t dared to since brain camp. He could smell something burning. A white-hot agony building at the base of his skull. A telltale gush wetting his upper lip. It didn’t matter.
He kept attacking with raw biotic power, indulging himself fully at the end.
He had never felt so calm. So happy.
Another bullet, shredding the meat of his thigh. He collapsed to one knee, hurling throw after throw, trying to keep the geth back as long as he could, but he was losing too much blood too quickly. Everywhere hurt now. He didn’t know if he had more holes in him or if it was just the blood loss.
On his next breath he inhaled water. He coughed and sputtered, summoning enough energy to roll over.
Blue. Cloudy, but blue.
It may have been a trivial thing, but he was glad he could die someplace that had a blue sky. Cloudy like home. Blue like Shepard’s eyes.
Shepard.
He started to laugh, but choked and coughed instead. There was no water but he was drowning.
The sky was blue.
He wished he could have seen Shepard take down Saren. But at least Shepard was safe. Ash was safe. They were all safe.
He was probably imagining it, but he thought he could hear the waves breaking on the shore.
The sky began to darken. He couldn’t feel anything. Everything was peaceful.
He exhaled.
