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"If you don’t talk you won’t have any friends.”
It was something his father had said to him many times. Usually after he had a few drinks.
It had been years since Jungkook talked normally. Sometimes he wondered if he had just forgotten how. Every time he tried he couldn’t find the words. He couldn’t wrap his lips around the sounds.
And his father was right. He didn’t have friends.
All throughout high school no one wanted to be friends with the guy who didn’t talk. He became a target for bullying since they knew he would never say anything about it. He was the perfect victim for people to let out their violent tendencies on.
When he came home with cuts and bruises his father had said, “This wouldn’t happen if you would just talk.”
Once he got to university, the amount of bullying decreased but it wasn’t non-existent. He had learned a while ago that people would take advantage of someone pretty easily if they felt that there would be no consequences. Even if they were adults.
Who better to pick on than the kid who would never tell?
x
He got mugged on his way out of the train station. He recognized the guy as a student at his school, but why did it matter if he couldn’t tell anyone? He left him with no money and a black eye. Jungkook didn’t see any guilt or remorse in his expression. It was something he was used to by now.
He limped into the school building and found the nearest bathroom. He emptied his stomach into a toilet and moved to wash his face at the sink.
“That looks pretty bad, what happened?” asked a sweet voice behind him. He hadn’t noticed anyone come in. He turned around and there was Park Jimin. He had never interacted him but of course he knew of him. Jimin was probably the most popular person in his year. He was famous for being good-looking and nice. A perfect man.
Jungkook wasn’t sure about the nice part, but he was certainly handsome.
He just turned around and kept washing his face. He couldn’t say anything to him anyway. He couldn’t answer his question.
“You should put ice on it,” Jimin said, voice laced with concern. Jungkook nodded. He could feel Jimin’s eyes on him as he dabbed his face dry with paper towel. He felt small and uneasy under his gaze.
“Are you Jungkook?” he asked. Jungkook hesitated to answer, but he nodded.
“Ahh, I've heard about you.”
Jungkook couldn’t help but feel nervous. What did Jimin think of him? But why did he even care what Jimin thought? He’s sure there must be a lot of bad rumours about him out there. Jimin must have heard a lot of them by now.
"If you ever need someone to hang out with, you can always hang out with me. There are a lot of mean people around. I promise I won’t be mean,” he said.
It was meant to be sweet but Jungkook wanted to roll his eyes. Countless people had approached him and tried to be The One who could get him to come out of his shell. But he never did and they had gotten tired of him rather quickly. He’s sure Jimin would be the same.
But he nodded anyway. Jimin smiled sweetly.
x
The next day while he was eating, Jimin had found him in the cafeteria and sat down with him. He didn’t really expect Jimin to hang out with him the next chance he got. He tried to ignore the way it made his heart flutter. He didn’t want to get his hopes up.
“What are you eating?” he asked. Jungkook gestured toward his tray. Did Jimin expect him to answer?
“Ahh yummy. Can I have some?” Jimin asked. Jungkook raised an eyebrow at him but Jimin just opened his mouth wide.
Jungkook picked up a piece of food and put it in Jimin’s mouth. Jimin laughed as soon as the food went in his mouth. Jungkook was scared it was going to fall right back out.
“Mmm thanks Kookie. Can I call you Kookie?” he said. Jungkook nodded. He had never had a nickname before. At least not one that wasn’t malicious.
“You’re in the same year as me right?” he asked. Jungkook nodded again. He felt kind of bad for not being able to converse properly but Jimin didn’t seem to mind.
“You’re really handsome. Do you have a girlfriend?” Jimin continued his interrogation. Jungkook shook his head. As if he would have a girlfriend. He didn’t even have a friend.
“Strange. I thought you must have one. Boyfriend?” Jimin asked. Jungkook shook his head again. He could feel his face turn red.
“I see.”
Jimin asked Jungkook countless amounts of questions. He seemed to be having a good time. It was new for Jungkook. He didn’t think anyone could smile so much around him. It was a good feeling.
“There’s going to be a party at my dorm on Friday, you should come,” Jimin said. Jungkook shrugged.
"I hope you’ll come. It’s gonna be fun. It’ll be more fun if you come,” Jimin said with a smile. It looked so genuine. Jungkook felt his heart rate increase.
They exchanged numbers and Jimin texted him the address. He decided that it couldn’t hurt to go.
If Jimin was there then he would go.
x
His father had stopped him on his way out the door, grabbing his arm roughly. Jungkook took a deep breath.
“Where are you going?” he asked, his grip becoming bruising. Jungkook just shrugged, avoiding eye-contact with the man.
“You better tell me where you’re going,” he threatened. He knew Jungkook couldn’t. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t say it.
He ripped his arm from his father’s grip and walked out the door, trying to ignore the yells and threats that followed him.
x
When Jungkook arrived there people filling the halls of the dorm, clearly the party was already in full swing. He tried to locate Jimin but it was hard with so many bodies around. He started to feel anxious.
Maybe Jimin wasn’t even here after all. He started worrying that maybe Jimin had decided that Jungkook wasn’t worth the effort.
“Kookiee~” he heard from behind him. He felt a wave of relief hit him as he recognized the voice. He turned around.
There was Jimin, looking adorable in his oversized sweater and a red cup in his hand. Jungkook instantly felt more relaxed. He looked really happy to see him. And Jungkook was so happy to see Jimin too.
Jimin had clearly been drinking, his face was flushed and he spilled his drink twice as he bounced toward Jungkook. He wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s neck in a hug that Jungkook really wanted to return.
But there was a cold drink being spilled down his back. His body tensed up immediately. Jimin realized belatedly.
“Oh! Oh my god I'm sorry. Oh jeez. I didn’t mean to Kookie!” he said. Jungkook gave him a smile to try and ease his worry. Jimin’s bottom lip was sticking out. It was cute.
“Come to my room. You can borrow some of my clothes,” he said. Jimin took his hand and led him to his room. There was no people inside and it smelled like Jimin. Jungkook felt at ease.
“Here put this on, I'll wash the one I wrecked,” Jimin said handing Jungkook a shirt.
Jungkook pulled his wet shirt over his head and he noticed Jimin’s eyes trail over his body. He looked down and realized that there were several bruises on his torso. He felt embarrassed.
“Did other students do that?” he asked, a sad look in his eyes. Jungkook shook his head. Jimin seemed to understand what he meant by that. He walked over to where Jungkook was standing, looking up at him as if to ask for permission for something.
Jimin wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s waist and hugged him gently. Jungkook struggled internally, wondering if he should hug Jimin back or not. He wondered if Jimin would want him to.
Jimin pulled away before he could decide.
“You can stay here tonight if you want,” Jimin said, his eyes almost pleading him to say yes. Jungkook just shrugged. He put the shirt on and took Jimin’s hand and brought him back out to the party. He didn’t like seeing Jimin sad.
The two danced and laughed together. Jungkook had never danced before, at least not as an adult. But as soon as Jimin asked him to he couldn’t refuse. He didn’t think he had ever had so much fun with anyone before. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
But at one point another one of Jimin’s friends had dragged him off, leaving Jungkook to stand by himself. He felt awkward and alone. Even though he had spent most of his life alone, suddenly it felt so much worse.
Thats when he started hearing the whispers. Well, they weren’t really whispers. He could hear them loud and clear.
“Isn’t that that guy who doesn’t talk? Who even invited him?”
“Probably Jimin. That guy’s an idiot who would invite anyone. Plus they were dancing together earlier.”
"I heard there’s not even anything wrong with him. He just doesn’t talk. He’s too good for us apparently.”
Jimin came back, throwing himself at Jungkook, laughing happily.
“Kookie!! I missed you,” he said drunkenly.
He looked at Jungkook’s face and caught on to his change in mood immediately. He looked around the halls, trying to find the source and noticed the two people talking about him. He stomped over to them before Jungkook could stop him.
“You two are really rude,” he said. Jungkook almost wanted to laugh. Jimin was still drunk and so so cute. He probably thought he was being intimidating but he just really wasn’t at all.
“Jungkookie is a really nice person and you guys don’t know anything about him so just back off,” Jimin continued. He looked like he had more to say but Jungkook was starting to get embarrassed as more people turned their attention to them.
Jungkook grabbed Jimin’s arm and tried to pull him away and when he did he saw Jimin stick his tongue out at the gossipers Jungkook snorted. Jimin was really too much.
But no one had ever stood up for him before. It felt really good and for the first time ever, he felt like he had a real friend.
He took Jimin back to his room and closed the door behind them.
"I'm so mad. They were so mean for no reason. God I hate people like that. So ignorant and stupid and mean!” he complained loudly. Jungkook couldn’t help but smile at him, while he sat on one of the two beds.
“Why are you smiling?” Jimin asked. Jungkook just kept smiling.
“Am I being too drunk?” he asked. Jungkook nodded. Jimin walked over to him straddled Jungkook’s lap. Jungkook’s hands immediately went to his waist. This kind of contact felt so intimate and so new to him. It was exciting.
“You’re really mean you know? Laughing at me when I'm trying to stand up for you,” Jimin said with a pout. Jungkook just laughed more.
“To repay me for hurting my feelings you have to stay the night and cuddle me,” Jimin said. Jungkook just nodded with a smile. He would think about the consequences later.
Jimin climbed into the bed they were sitting on and Jungkook followed after. He pulled Jimin into his chest as Jimin wrapped his hands around his waist and snuggled in. Despite the smell of alcohol emitting from Jimin, he still smelled so good. And he felt so small and wonderful in his arms.
Jungkook could really get used to this.
x
As he left a sleeping Jimin the next morning it hurt to think that the next time Jimin would see him, he would most likely have a new set of bruises to show him.
x
Jungkook was trying to study in Jimin’s dorm room, but it wasn’t going so well. It was very hard to focus with Jimin’s head in his lap, smiling up at him.
“You’re very handsome Kookie. How are you still single?” he said to Jungkook, reaching up and tapping on his chin. Jungkook rolled his eyes and continued reading over his notes.
“It seems like more people are talking to you at school. That’s good,” Jimin said. Jungkook shrugged. More people had been approaching and he had no doubt that it was due to Jimin. Jimin was always drawing attention to himself, and since he and Jungkook had become inseparable, it was only natural that some people would take interest in him.
But he didn’t care about any of them. All he needed was currently in his lap, stopping him from studying properly.
“If someone asks you out will you say yes?” Jimin asked him. Jungkook looked down at him, feeling a little exasperated. Their test was tomorrow.
He shook his head.
“Why not? Don’t you want a girlfriend?” Jimin asked. Jungkook shook his head again. Why was Jimin so concerned with his love life? Shouldn’t he be more concerned about his own?
“You only need me right?” Jimin said, devious smirk on his face. Jungkook pinched his nose, making Jimin yelp. He sat up holding his face.
“Meanie. I thought you loved me,” Jimin said, pout on his lips. Jungkook took him by the shoulders and pulled him back down to lay in his lap.
He could see Jimin smiling below him, but he pretended not to notice.
x
“Kookie, holy shit,” Jimin said when he answered the door. Jungkook knew he probably looked like a wreck. He felt blood dripping out of his nose and he couldn’t see out of his left eye. He hadn’t even realized where his legs had taken him until he saw Jimin open the door.
Jimin took him by the hand a sat him down on his bed. He heard Jimin speaking but he didn’t think it was to him. He normally didn’t like being there while Jimin’s roommate was home, but right now he felt better just hearing Jimin talk to him.
He registers the sound of the door opening and closing, then Jimin is by his side, dabbing at his nose with tissue.
“God Jungkook. Are you okay?” Jimin asked, taking one of Jungkook’s hands in his own. Jungkook simply nodded. He was used to it after all.
“I don’t like seeing you like this. Did he do it because you wanted to come see me?” Jimin asked. It had happened before. Anytime Jungkook wanted to go out and see Jimin it happened unless he snuck out without alerting his father.
Still he shook his head.
“Maybe we should stop hanging out. I don’t want this to keep happening to yo-“ Jimin started but he was cut off by Jungkook grabbing his wrist. Jungkook looked him in the eye with his one good eye and shook his head slowly.
He didn’t think he would want to live anymore if he stopped seeing Jimin.
“I can’t stand seeing you like this,” Jimin said, voice breaking. Jungkook saw tears start to flow out of his eyes. Jungkook moved his hand from Jimin’s wrist to his fingers, lacing them into his own.
Jimin sniffled as he brought his other hand up to Jungkook’s cheek. He gently rubbed the skin there. It was so soothing, Jungkook thought he might fall asleep. Jimin leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek where he had been rubbing.
Jungkook couldn’t keep his head up anymore. He laid down on the bed and Jimin followed him.
He fell asleep with Jimin running his fingers through his hair.
x
Jungkook saw Jimin in the hallway talking with a classmate. Normally he would just walk by but he was feeling especially confident today. And Jimin was looking especially cute.
He walked up to him and hugged him from behind, slipping his hands around his tiny waist. He felt Jimin tense up but then relax into Jungkook’s hold once he realized who it was.
“Hi Kookie,” he said, leaning his head back on Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook responded by nuzzling into his neck.
“Gross get a room will you,” the guy Jimin had been talking to said. Jungkook recognized him. Kim Taehyung. Jimin’s closest friend. Even though he had avoiding most of Jimin’s friends, he didn’t mind Taehyung.
“You’re just jealous you don’t have someone like my Jungkookie,” Jimin said, moving back further into Jungkook. He smelled so good.
“Not my fault there’s no nice and hot gay guys here. You had to take the only one,” Taehyung said. Jungkook was confused. Were he and Jimin dating? Wouldn’t he know something like that? It seems like something he should definitely know.
“We’re not dating Taehyung,” Jimin said, reaching back and scratching Jungkook’s head. Taehyung rolled his eyes.
“Yeah whatever you say,” Taehyung responded.
x
Jungkook had tried to walk away from Jimin to go home but he could feel Jimin still holding his wrist even though he already said goodbye. He turned back and gave him a questioning look.
"I don’t want you to go home,” he said. The look on Jimin’s face was so sad, it broke his heart. He took Jimin’s cheeks into his hands.
“Please don’t go home,” he said again, bottom lip quivering.
Jungkook leaned in and kissed Jimin gently. The kiss only lasted a couple seconds, but it felt like heaven. He couldn’t remember how long he wanted this for.
When Jimin started crying he thought he fucked up. He supposed that just because he wanted to kiss Jimin didn’t mean that Jimin wanted to kiss him back. His heart sunk. Jungkook started trying to wipe his tears away.
“Don’t go,” Jimin said again before pulled Jungkook into a hug. Jungkook hugged him back, trying to soothe him. Jimin had cried many times over Jungkook. He felt awful for causing him so much pain.
"I'll figure something out. So you don’t have to go back there,” Jimin said into Jungkook’s shirt. Jungkook nodded even though Jimin couldn’t see it. He leaned down and kissed Jimin’s forehead before he took his hand and started leading him toward his dorm building.
The smile he got from Jimin was the prettiest thing he had ever seen.
x
Jungkook woke up to Jimin’s sleeping face next to him. He was so precious when he slept, bottom lip sticking out, hair a mess.
He leaned over and kissed him again and again until he could feel Jimin respond. He pulled away to see him smiling, eyes still closed.
“You have morning breath. Yuck,” Jimin said. Jungkook responded by kissing him again. Jimin could complain all he wanted but he still smiled into the kiss and pulled Jungkook closer by his shirt.
“I smell food,” Jimin mumbled after finally opening his eyes. Jungkook nodded. It smelled yummy.
“Let’s get ready and go downstairs. Mom will be mad if we sleep through breakfast,” Jimin said, moving to get out of bed. Jungkook followed him, slipping on some sweatpants.
They went down the stairs to the kitchen where Jimin’s mom was cooking. She was humming a happy tune, it made Jungkook feel a little more awake, a little more warm inside. Jimin walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek, saying good morning.
These were the mornings he loved the most. The weekend mornings when neither of them had anything to do, and Jimin’s mother didn’t have work. He didn’t think he would ever feel accustom to it, even though his bruises had faded months ago.
Jimin’s decision to move back in with his parents and bring Jungkook with him was something Jungkook had felt guilty about initially. He felt like he had been intruding and soaking up money. But every day they assured him that it was fine and they loved his company and he was starting to believe it.
He was truly happy for the first time in his life. And he was just getting happier. As he watched Jimin eat he felt his heart swell, and he’s sure Jimin could see his heart beat through his clothes when he looked up and smiled at him.
He was convinced that Jimin was an angel sent to him from heaven. In all the months he’s known him, Jimin never asked him to speak. Usually, it was all people ever wanted from him, but Jimin never once tried to get words out of him. That’s what made Jungkook the happiest. Jimin loved him for who he was. He hoped Jimin understood what he meant by the way he looked at him, the way he kissed him and the way he held him.
I love you.