i cast no shadow 

part i KIRK

"  I'M THE ONLY KING

AROUND HERE  "

The only man Kirk has ever been wary of is Leonard McCoy.

Kirk knows of terror, of conquest, of control. Had learnt it at his mother’s knee as a child, lessons filled with fear, seduction, the right of conquest and to be the best he could be. He had laid his body at the altar of the Empire and gave everything he could to them.

Has learnt more lessons through his life, of torture, interrogation, and then. Then , Kodos had made the very big mistake of trying to touch Kirk in a way Kirk had spat at him for.

Kodos never did it again. Kirk had made sure of that.

Had chopped Kodos’ worthless hands, had kept the pulled off fingernails as a macabre trophy. Kirk has always liked visual reminders. Had tied Kodos to a lump of useless tree and burnt him alive. He died, screaming .

So Kirk knows. Knows of fear, of revenge, of apathy, of using the weapons available to him. His body and his mind is his best, most loved weaponry, entices the looks of envy, of lust, of hatred. Feeds upon them like a lion feasts on meat. He’s the son of an Empire Traitor and an Empire Executionist. He’s got big shoes to fill.

Kirk’s always been an overachiever.

So no, Kirk is not so easily afraid.

He’d first heard the rumors coming from Atlanta when he’d been sixteen, fresh off Tarsus IV and high on the adrenaline of annihilating an entire planet just because he could . When they’d say his name, it’d be followed by a hush whisper of “ planetkiller , godkiller ,” when he was older, but Kirk wouldn’t know of this yet.

He heard and memorized the rumors, about a madman, a ruthless doctor who’d skinned his wife alive and then force fed his daughter the meat of her mother. Kirk had admired him, in so much that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to kill the doctor just because he’d be competition, or keep him alive simply because he was competition and Kirk always thrived under pressure.

Still, something that hadn’t been there before had risen, something had awoken in him that day. When he’d heard of that man.

McCoy had been the only man Kirk had had his heart set out. For all the information he’d gleaned on him, Kirk had killed, seduced, threatened, blackmails and tortured for all of it. Had enjoyed it thoroughly. Hoped it had caught the man’s attention. Had saw that man sit, sprawled like an indolent predator, on the bloodstained Empire shuttle heading to San Francisco. Had saw those shark-flat eyes, those grimace-bared teeth and thought yes .

He would have McCoy. Come hell or death. Would have him sewn into the lining of his throat just to taste all that blood. He almost wanted the man to try and kill him, just so Kirk could show McCoy just how ruthless he truly could be.

They’d shared a dorm at the Academy, only because Kirk had fixed it that way. He knows better than to let his guard down around McCoy. Knows better. They may have shared that dormitory at the Academy, but sharing a room about the size of a stunted peanut shell doesn’t mean you trust . It just means it’s easier to point out the potential perpetrator.

Kirk doesn’t do sloppy .

He had the once. Made a right old mess. His ma had laughed. Told him that skinning somebody was much harder than it seemed. Said it was an art . He’d hunted down all the photos that had been released from Atlanta, thought about that man’s wife, skinned by her husband and forcibly eaten by her daughter, and thought, it really is . Had salivated at the thought of getting to experience it first hand.

Still. Kirk doesn’t scare easy. Never has. His ma would’ve killed him first just to save them all the damn embarrassment. But McCoy .

McCoy makes the hair of the back of Kirk’s neck stand on end. Something like that hasn’t happened since he gutted and burn Kodos’ alive for thinking he could touch him. Something that had happened before Kirk had killed his own brother, Sam, two weeks before Sam’s fourteenth birthday. It’s a thrill, an adrenaline rush that Kirk has long since become addicted too. He likes to fuck with those bigger and better than him, just to prove he can.

His ma used to say he was just like her, full of fire and grit. Told him of how she’d gutted her husband and Kirk’s father when he’d been found to be an enemy of the Empire they’d sworn eternal service to.

Told him of how she’d laughed when her husband had begged for mercy, how she’d managed to somehow keep him alive for two whole months just because she wanted to see if she could, used to whisper the entire story in Kirk’s ear like a bedtime story.

But if Kirk is fire and grit, wanting to make himself a king, McCoy is ice and silence, a dethroned god.

Kirk’s never been good with people who thought they were gods; he’d slaughtered the last one who’d tried to control him. He’s always wanted to strip them down, swallow down to taste what they thought made them divine , likes to play them like puppets. McCoy is someone who you probably don’t want to mess with. Like purposely goading a predator with a hollowed out stomach, slavering with hunger.

“You’re playing with fire, son,” Pike had told him once, at the academy. Kirk had looked at him, at his aging handsome face, his hair greying just that little bit. He’d slept with him a few times, liked the way Pike treated him roughly, made him fight for it. He’d still killed the man. Maybe that’s how he showed his love.

Kirk had laughed in Pike’s face.

“I know,” He’d said. Grinned widely, saw Pike pause. “That’s the best part of it,”

Kirk has always loved what could kill him. That’s half the fun.

But he’s going to do more than just play with McCoy. Just because he’s wary of the man doesn’t mean he’s not going to try anything.

Kirk got his commission as Captain of the ISS Enterprise, not by being compassionate, or by fucking who he needed to. He did it by fucking up everyone else left in the running. He’ll do it again if he has too. The Enterprise is his now, and she’s goddamn gorgeous.

He’s going to play with fire, and he’s going to win .

He’s looking forward to it.

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