Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I had another nightmare last night.

They happen a lot, ever since the war.

I saw some shit, did some shit that I’m not proud of. Tried a few jobs. Snapped at a few morons. Lost a few jobs. Went through a bunch of therapy when I got out. Can’t say whether it helped or not.

My life over the last three years has turned from a consistent violent red to a dull shade of grey. It's no longer action packed and exciting. Things have slowly melted away into dull, dreary nothingness now that I have nothing left to fight for.

I have spent my life fighting, and now we’re at peace, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know how to think or act peacefully. I’m a trained soldier. A killer.

I desperately need to try something new, which is why news of my distant aunt dying on some remote ass island and leaving everything to her closest living relative is a surprise and a relief.

Turns out she had a farm in the mountains on a large island, a 4-hour flight south of here, in a much warmer climate. I know almost nothing about the woman, but as luck turns out I’m her last living relative so I’m summoned to a hearing for her will, listing me as the sole recipient of all of her assets and property.

I don’t waste time in packing up and moving over there. It doesn’t help that I leave in the morning and I can’t fucking sleep. I’m wide awake, the street light peeking through the curtains gently outlining the rectangular reminder on my flat floor - my suitcase. I don't know what my future will entail, but I’m actually hopeful for the first time in forever.

I stay up the rest of the morning out of fear of returning to the same dream, opting for a pot of tea and a book to keep me company. I might one day write about my time on the front during the great war of the walls, but that day isn’t today.

First I want to forget all about it for a little while in order to get my head sorted out. I’m flagging in life and I need to shake shit up so I don’t top myself or something. Lord knows I’ve had the means and the motivation lately.

The flight is uneventful and the short taxi to the import dock is short enough. All civilisation here seems to be situated on the coasts. It’s early evening when my flight arrives and customs is quick. I can’t tell much for the heat, since it’s early spring. It doesn’t get too hot here in any time other than summer… or so the internet tells me.

I get to the docks and go through all the checks to get my crate unpacked. There’s my car in it as well as a few bits of shit that wouldn't fit in a suitcase. The furniture is already at the house apparently. Movers came and dropped it off yesterday.

I get in the car and set up my phone to navigate out to the property. I try to not feel anything just yet, opting to keep the music playing to keep my mind busy as I drive through the new environment. Everything is still pretty numb. I upped and left fairly quickly, and I’m not sure when I plan on going back. The plan was to just move out here for a few months and collect myself. I still don’t know if that will last that long.

My military retirement payments are organised to come to the island account. After as many years as I served, it’s a very generous package, so there will be no worries about finances. That’s the one way in which the military is looking after me given all the shit it put me through. I’m changed for the worst, probably permanently, but I’m hoping this change in scenery will help with that. I wasn’t always so fucking miserable so I’m hoping moving out to the middle of bumfuck nowhere will help.

My therapist disagreed with the idea, but what the fuck does she know. Getting up and repeating the same old work day wasn’t changing anything. I’m in that military mindset, I need focus and stern daily routine and exercise. I’m like a husky. You gotta work me or I get antsy and start destroying shit. Namely myself. My mind goes to dark places when I’m not distracted. I don’t lash out at others as much as I turn inward toward self destruction.

Anyway, that bullshit aside, I have my car, all my shit inside it and I’m on the road, slowly picking up on driving on the opposite side and learning the little habits the drivers here have. I ask my phone a few questions, which the internet gladly answers, which helps. It's no problem getting accustomed to living somewhere new. I’m used to it.

It takes three hours to drive from the airport down to the southern part of the island and into the mountains. The roads are well maintained, but they wind up and down the hills relentlessly. I pass many little cafes and restaurants along the way beside gas stations and supermarkets, their owners out on the porches smoking their cigarettes and talking the evening away.

It’s definitely a different lifestyle to what I’m used to.

By the time I arrive, it’s late, and dark, and the roads are turning questionable. I don’t have a four-wheel drive and these roads are getting steep as fuck, with less and less tarmac and more loose grit and rocks forming my path ahead.

Of course I fucking get stuck. Out in the middle of fucking nowhere, miles from civilisation and on the side of a fucking mountain. I’ve not seen another car for at least an hour now. I get out of the car, frustrated and surrounded by dirt and crickets and the silhouettes of hundreds of olive trees lining the mountainsides. Pretty sure I can hear the distant bleating of a goat, too.

The world feels incredibly still, the sky above me seeming humongous and endlessly full of stars, not a breeze of wind anywhere to be felt.

I shine my torch down at the tyres of the car just to inspect for damage, but it looks like it’s unharmed so far. I’d have expected a few nicks or scrapes from all of the potholes and large rocks I’ve had to maneuver around, but no. I guess that’s one silver lining to this whole shit show. I check my phone and naturally I have no signal. The road is too narrow to turn around, or allow anyone to pass me, so it looks like I’m gonna have to reverse all the way down the fucking mountain again until I reach a wider point.

There was a turn back a little ways, I’ll just reverse until I get there and leave the car. It’s slow and I can’t see shit, but I manage to work the car back over the uneven surface. I don’t end up rolling down the cliffs either, which is nice. Again, nothing I'm not used to, but a jeep would really help here.

I get to the wider part of the road and leave my hazard triangle out behind the car in case anyone comes up during the night. I rustle through the back seat to fish out my hand luggage. It’s got some toiletries and a change of clothes which ought to be all I need for one night. I’ll fetch the rest in the morning.

I tighten up my boot laces and start walking up the mountainside road, using my car torch to illuminate the uneven trail. I can’t see any house lights up on the mountain, and my GPS suggested this was the only road that led up to one house only.

It’s one hell of a fucking driveway. I’ll just have to go car shopping with the inheritance money. It takes another half hour of walking but I eventually spot a concrete wall come into view of my torch light. I already hate this place. It’s dark, it’s in the middle of nowhere, and all of my fucking furniture is outside on the front drive, just outside the garage. Thankfully it doesn’t look rained on, which is probably why they left it outside - the dry climate doesn’t help when you’re hiking up a dark mountain.

I get a brief look at the house, but anything my torch doesn’t light up simply disappears into darkness. I’ll look around properly tomorrow.

The keys come out and I crack open the front door. It’s a bit squeaky and old, the house empty with a layer of dust on everything. My aunt hadn’t lived here in years. Apparently it took a few years to figure out who her closest living relative was, so the farm has literally just been sat here with no one to look after it.

The livestock was sold on, but the funds were returned to the inheritance and set aside specifically for goats and chickens. So at least I have a chicken shopping fund. Never thought I’d need one of those in my life.

Hole in the roof. At least it doesn’t rain.

Dust in places you’d never expect. Check.

Bugs? You bet.

Oh, joy.

As much as I like to complain on the inside about it, looking around the house helps me to realise that there’s a lot of cleaning and work that needs doing to the place, which means it will keep me plenty busy and occupied throughout the summer. As much of a shit hole as this place is, it’s now officially my shit hole.

I rummage through the closet in the kitchen and find a dusty old straw broom and start brushing out the main hall of the house so I can start moving my shit inside.

I’m sorely lacking in cleaning supplies but I’ve slept in worse. Cleanliness is a state of preference for me, but I’ll take what I can get. I’ve lived in trenches and jungles and deserts and all kinds of terrains. A bit of dust won’t kill me.

The next couple of hours are spent cleaning as best I can and moving what I can easily pick up into the house. As long as I have a mattress and a blanket to crawl under at the inhuman hours of the morning, I’m fine.

I don’t remember dreaming, for the first time in a long time. Usually it’s just fragments or nightmares or just generally shitty quality sleep that keeps me awake all hours of the night. Sure, I didn’t sleep like a log, but I wake up and it’s daylight. I’m still wearing yesterday’s clothes, trainers and all, and I feel a bit stiff from all the heavy lifting.

I must have fallen asleep out of exhaustion.

Speaking of crashing and burning, I better check on my car. I force myself out of bed, not bothering to make it. It’s just a blanket on a plastic covered mattress anyway. I slip into the bathroom and swat away a locust that’s tried to make it it’s new home. It flies out with little complaint and I try the taps.

The water works, even if it runs russet for a few seconds at the start. Smells a little sulphuric. One look at my boots reveals the red earth that this mountain must be made of. Probably runs into the water, too.

I rinse my face off and let myself air dry as I step out into the front yard, taking in the sights in the morning sun. The view becomes clearer once I shield my eyes from the sun with my hand. The front yard extends down to the dirt road which drops straight off the side of the mountain, overlooking the vast fields of trees. They grow on all slopes and drops and bend nicely all the way down to the coast at the bottom of the mountain, coating everything in a dark green shade.

From my vantage point I can see the lagoon at the bottom, with it’s multiple rows of sunbeds and it’s white sandy beach. It looks like a proper town down there, and it’s surely the closest place to me by far. The mountains are impressive, and the air is cleaner and stiller than anywhere I’ve ever been.

I turn to look up the other side of the mountain, trying to see where my land goes. I take a walk up the road to see how far it goes, only to find it keeps going up the mountain where the GPS had said it stops. I’ll have to find out what’s up there. It doesn’t look like there are any fresh tyre prints in the dust.

I do a quick look over, noting the smallholdings and the olive trees lining the mountain behind the house for what looks like miles, but decide upon properly surveying the land when I’ve got my car up the hill in the safer daylight conditions.

I get to the car, and it’s still there, in one piece.

I try getting one more running start to get it up the hill again, but I end up just burning fucking rubber and sliding back down the damn road. The last thing I want to do is go sliding off the damn cliff. I groan when I spot an old green jeep appear from over the steep hill. The sun is glaring off the windshield so I can’t see the driver, but I start to back up to allow them to pass.

Once we’re back to the passing point, he pulls up beside my window. He’s dark skinned, dark haired and his arm is leaning out the side of his truck holding a cigarette. The main thing I notice is his pale eyes. They’re a bright shade of ambery green, further brought out by his earthy, tanned complexion.

He says something to me, but I don’t understand it. He tries again.

“You new here?” he asks, drawing on the cigarette. “Need me to tow you up?”

I surrender all of my pride because let’s fucking face it, I’m as stuck as stuck gets. I nod at him. The hill is made easy work when I’ve got some pulling power helping me up. He stops to unhook the car only when we reach my house.

“You must be the Ackerman boy,” he says as he unclips it and I step out of the car. His words don’t make a lot of sense since I look at least twice his age. He talks like some sort of old timer. Maybe that’s just how they are up in the mountains. I’ve not exactly had any time to interact with many non-government official locals since I got here.

“Yeah, Levi,” I tell him, offering a hand. He shakes it. His handshake is firm and his hands are calloused, presumably from working the land.

“Eren Yeager, nice to meeting you,” he says in his relatively good second tongue.

“Did you know her?” I gesture to the house. Eren shrugs and wraps the tow rope up around his muscular arm. I’m not staring. Fuck, I’m staring. I snap out of it as he turns to toss it into the back of his truck.

“I know everyone,” he says. Even if I can’t make heads or tails of him currently, he’d be a good asset. He could introduce me to people so the locals don’t treat me like an absolute tourist.

“I can show you around when you settled in?” he must have read my mind.

“That would be great, actually.”

“Alright. I come and see you later.” he tells me. I agree. He offers to take me down the mountain later in the day to get groceries and anything else I might need, and I take him up on the offer because I’m fairly sure my car is destined to stay on this rock forever now. I’ll get it down but without his help I doubt I’ll ever get it back up again.

With the car up the hill and Eren returning up to wherever it is he lives, off the grid, I turn to look back at the house. This much land though, I find it hard to believe that they didn’t have some sort of transport. I crack open the double garage doors with a bit of complaint from the electrics after having not been opened for so long. There are a few shelves along the walls, lined with a few boxes of nails, a few old tools and paint and oil tins. At the back there’s a door leading into the house, as well as another wide shutter door leading out into the disused farm. There’s some farm tools hanging from the back wall, and a large covered lump at the back.

It’s a quad bike. Now we’re talking. I pull the cover off, and it looks well used, but not too old. The tyres are in good nick and it’s still got fuel. Looks as though it hasn’t been used recently, though.

Where are the keys, though?

I fish through the huge envelope of keys they handed me to go with the house. Finding one that looks as though it might be the right fit, I twist it in the ignition and the bike engine turns over, firing into action. A quick test of the handle confirms it still works. I switch it off and leave it there for now, heading through the back door and into the farm.

It’s overgrown, but by the looks of the structural layout of the slanted area around the house, stretching up into the valley of the mountain, it was well purposed to be a properly functional, possibly profitable farm.

Looks like the only thing you can grow here are olives. There are nothing but olive trees. Everywhere on this island. Explains the little olive motifs on the tiling in the bathroom. It’s not personally to my tastes, but I can live with it so long as it’s clean.

I trudge through the dried, dead bushes and along what looks like was once a path. Everywhere o step is covered with flat vine-like plants. They’re hard, bristly and reflect the harsh conditions of the mountains during heatwaves. It looks like it just cooks everything.

How in the hell do I water these plants?

How often does it even rain here? I guess it doesn’t much matter, I won’t be here long enough to make this farm operational. It’s more of a holiday home now. Maybe I could build a pool. Who knows. Damn I need to do some research on this place. I suppose I could have done a little bit more homework before upping and leaving everything I knew for a new life of unknowns.

I must have been desperate, I think to myself as I crunch through the plants up the valley. The sun feels hot on my skin but it’s not unpleasant yet as it’s still early. I trudge on for another half an hour or so before deciding to stop. I have a good vantage point here overlooking the property, down the mountain. I can still see the sea, although I’m nowhere near the border of the land, though.

I cast my eye to the side to see if I can spot where the road winds to. It twists around the mountainside in the opposite direction to my house, so I can’t see where Eren might live. Must have a house on the other side of the ridge.

On only day one, I suppose some of the mystery can wait for now.

En route back down, I hike a different route through the olive trees. The air feels still, the sun seeming to heat it up even more with the lack of wind. The dried earth cracks and crunches beneath my trainers and my ears are treated to a 360 degree surround sound of the island’s best grasshopper symphony. It feels so different to the temperate climate I’m used to. It’s been 3 years since I travelled, and even then, that was with the military, so I never really went anywhere to enjoy simply being there.

It’s weird, but I could see myself getting used to this. It’s strangely serene.

Serenity only lasts so long though.

As I duck beneath an olive branch the sun glares into my eyes. By the time I shield the sun, my foot is already en route to standing close to a snake sunning itself in a crevice of a rock. I hear it startle and hiss before it has time to strike, and I manage to jump out of the way in time to dodge its fangs.

“Fucking snakes,” I mutter to myself.

I make a mental note to research what sort of animals you get around this neck of the woods. Which ones are poisonous and whatnot. I’ve come across a lot of different wildlife, so it can't be much more exotic than some of the things I've seen.

Once I’m back to the house though, the fun only continues. I have a walk around the rest of the indoors, mapping out all three floors. The living spaces are all on the ground level, which is the largest of all three, the second floor has a family bathroom and two bedrooms, and the top floor, nestled at the side, has a single bedroom with an ensuite. All three bedrooms have generous balconies. The one on the top utilises the rest of the building’s space as its roof terrace.

The view is incredible from up here. Speaking of fun, and incredible views though, I take a look in the mirror as I inspect the upper level ensuite, and my forehead and the back of my neck is bright fucking red.

I was out for like an hour and I come back in looking like a damn lobster. This is going to take a bit of getting used to.

Chapter Text

Eren comes back after the main heat of the day has passed. It's just gone 3pm. I get into his truck, which is dirty but not untidy. The only things that decorate the interior is a key hanging from the rear view mirror and a few dirty tools lying on tarpaulins on the back seats.

The drive down the mountain seems a lot more stable given Eren’s truck and his experience driving the roads. I barely feel the large rocks he drives over. We’re down to flat land in fifteen minutes and end up at the supermarket in another ten. I keep my eyes peeled for stores along the way that may be of use, but there aren't very many.

“Where are you from?” Eren asks, adjusting the sun visor as we level out.

“Sina originally.”

“How long are you staying in Maria?” he asks. I still don't know, so I tell him exactly that. He hums.

“Well I hope you like it. I will introduce you to some people. To welcome you to the island,” he says with a smile.

“What’s there to do here anyway?” I ask.

“Well you have the tourist areas, the beach down in Shiganshina. It's very beautiful,” he ensures.

I was never stationed anywhere coastal with the military, so seeing the turquoise lagoons is new for me. You always see those picturesque holiday advertisements in dreary Sina, but I always figured they photoshopped the colours. Apparently not.

“There are a few ruins across the island but there isn't much local,” Eren tells me. I figured as much. It seems like a very quiet area of the island, its main attraction being the beach. I'm not complaining at the peace and quiet.

“My sister and my best friend run the restaurant on the beach. I will take you tonight?” Eren offers.

I don't have anything better to do.

“Okay,” I say as Eren pulls into the supermarket parking lot, which is half empty.

“It gets busier during the summer, but it's the off season so it's quiet,” Eren tells me as we get out and head in.

I take about twenty minutes stocking up on food, cleaning and other household supplies. Eren picks himself up a few bits too. There is a building depot nearby too, so I ask if we can visit.

It’s moments like these, slowly browsing a store for tools, the gentle tinkle of some foreign pop music echoing throughout the tall ceiling store, where my thoughts drift back to the war. I joined the army when I was sixteen. More than half of my life has been spent fighting. How I’m still alive, I don’t know.

Even before I joined the army, my life was a battle. Trying to think back to my childhood in search of better memories doesn’t help forget the days in service. It was no better.

“What else do you need to fix beside the roof?” Eren asks, holding out the box of nails I said I’d been looking for.

I thank him and shrug. “I need to finish cleaning first to see what I need. The basics should be enough, for now.”

Eren happily helps as I fill his flatbed up with supplies to fix my roof, amongst other things.

“So how old are you?” Eren asks as we make our journey back up the mountain.

“Thirty eight, you?”

Eren scoffs quietly, at my age or at my question I don't know.

“How old do I look?” He asks jovially.

“Uh, late twenties?” I guess.

He laughs softly.

“I’m twenty one. This time.”

“This time?” I don't understand.

“This lifetime,” he says with a shrug. I suppose he believes in reincarnation. A topic which leaves the conversation quiet for a moment until he picks it back up.

“What did you do for work in Sina?”

“I was in the army for twenty two years, I was rarely actually in Sina. Do you have a farm too?” I ask him, trying to figure out why he's up on that mountain in the middle of nowhere.

“No, just a house. I like the mountains though. It's quiet.”

I scoff at that, quiet is definitely an understatement.

“Yours is the highest farm in the region,” he tells me. I hum in acknowledgment. Interesting to know.

The roads quickly turn from flat tarmac to dusty dirt roads and steep rocky passages that wind up and around the mountainside. It feels as if Eren barely has to navigate the rocks and lumps in the uneven road. It’s like the obstructions just move out of his way. We travel so much faster than my initial trek up.

Before I know it we’re back at the farm and Eren offers to help unpack the truck, unloading the tools into the garage as I take the food and other bags into the house. I’m reluctant to put any food away into the fridge until it’s been cleaned. It smells old.

“Thanks for driving me, Eren.”

“No problem. We’ll get your car sorted so you can get up that hill, huh?” He says with a grin, nudging me with an elbow. I roll my eyes at his piss take, but I can't tell entirely if he’s joking or not. He waves me off and gets back into his truck.

“I’ll pick you up at seven?” He calls before he leaves.

I throw him a thumbs up and nod, watching for a second as he pulls away and disappears around the dirt road.

I have a few hours to clean up and start putting everything away, so it’s apron tied, sleeves rolled up, gloves on and a bandana around my hair. I'm a fast worker so I manage to clean the ground level of the house to an acceptable standard by the time Eren returns.

He knocks at the door as I’m reaching the bottom of the stairs, and I grab my jacket, leaving the rest of the tools lying around for the time being. I can sort them out later. I don't expect we’ll be out long, it doesn't seem like the type of country where people stay out drinking into all hours of the night.

I open the door and find him wearing a brown plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and worn jeans tucked into his brown leather, loosely laced ankle boots. It's a good look on him. Not to mention he's apparently taken a shower, his hair still damp and loose. It's longer than it looks when not tied back, easily passing his shoulders by a couple inches.

If whatever gods that gave me this property in an attempt to distract me, they are doing very well indeed. Very well.

“Like what you see huh?” Eren asks with a cheeky grin. Fuck, he caught me staring. I glower at him as I hurry him out of the way so I can shut the door and lock it, using the moment of having my back turned to will away the embarrassment that is probably lighting my cheeks right about now.

I don't miss the way he watches me get into his truck, eyes roaming a little slower than any straight man would. I’ve got my standard black jeans on and a dark purple long sleeved tshirt. I’ve got my light black jacket for later in case it gets cold. I’m not bothering with any fancy footwear aside from my black army boots. They’re broken in, comfortable, and clean.

Still, I’m so much older than Eren. He’d do better with someone who hasn't been finding grey hairs in their undercut for about three months now.

The last one I found in my bangs I just ended up leaving there. I can't be arsed to deal with hair dye, nor am I fussed enough regarding what I look like.

“You look good, hungry?” He asks. I hum my affirmation as he pulls away down the mountain pass for the second time today.

“I can't wait to introduce you to Armin and Mikasa. Once you try their lamb hot pot, you’ll be in heaven!”

“I do like lamb,” I comment quietly, looking out over the dimming landscape as the sun sets to the right side. My side of the mountain goes dark before anywhere else, but I imagine the top of the ridge would be an excellent place to catch the sunset. I’ll have to take the quad bike up to the peak at some point.

“The Kirsteins have a farm not too far from here so that's what Armin uses in the food. All the herbs and the lamb is local, it's so delicious,” Eren tells me. Even if I'm not talkative, he’s so good at filling the empty space without it feeling overbearing. This is probably what I've been lacking at home in Sina - company. Everyone in the city are too far up their own arses to open their eyes to the people around them. It seems here, everyone has time for anyone they meet. It's a slower pace of life. I’m liking it so far.

That preconception is further confirmed when Eren leads me into the large restaurant on the beach. As promised, it's quiet, not too many tourists, and a few locals dotted about by the bar or outside having their cigarettes.

Armin is as warm as Eren had described, and it seems Mikasa is a little more reserved, but she doesn't seem cold. Eren introduces us and they join our table since it's quiet. There are a couple of waiters milling around waiting for orders from the kitchen, but the place is otherwise quiet.

The decor is homely, little smiley faces carved into the large cacti plants on the terrace, the walls and lighting alcoves dotted with succulents and varying potted cacti. Despite it getting dark, the birds are still singing in the nearby trees and the air is still relatively warm. I can't wait to get home and slather myself with moisturiser. I’m gonna be so red from the sun, and it's only day one.

After a while chatting with Armin and Mikasa, they take our orders and nod at Eren with a grin. Eren looks like a kid on Christmas, and tells me about any locals he knows that are dotted about the restaurant.

That and looking at that stupidly charming smile and strong arms, boy oh boy, this is a great distraction. I gladly allow him to do most of the talking. With pleasure, even.

The food arrives shortly, given that the kitchen clearly isn’t busy. I’m surprised by the generous portions and sweet lord the flavour is incredible. I’m presented with what turns out to be a hot pot of slow cooked lamb with vegetables and potatoes. Everything in it, down to the glass of wine, is from the island we’re on. None of that imported, cheap fast food crap you get in the city.

“You like it?” Eren asks.

I can’t help but moan in approval as the lamb melts in my mouth. With a mouth full of flavourful juices, I just hum and nod. It's so good. I’ll definitely have to learn how they make this.

“The fish is also good,” Eren says, filling his mouth with his own lamb. It's clearly his favourite dish, and I can see why. Armin told us they start cooking it in the morning, letting it stew all day long. The results are phenomenal.

Which gets me thinking.

It's been so long since I've had the time and space to enjoy the small things in life like going out to eat, or a glass of wine with good company.

When we finish our meal, Connie, the waiter, takes our dishes and brings out a small unlabelled clear glass bottle and a pair of shot glasses.

“Cheers,” Eren says as he raises his glass. I pick mine up and follow suit, necking the drink. It's a strong, herby spirit. Despite the strength it's fairly pleasant.

“It's like a wine spirit,” he tells me, pouring himself another glass. He gestures to my glass and I nod. We take another shot.

Armin yells something to Eren that I don't understand and he turns to me.

“You want dessert?” he asks.

“I don't have much of a sweet tooth,” I tell him, shaking my head and holding up a hand in polite protest. Eren shakes his head back to his friend and he waves and nods, returning to tending the bar without hurry.

“I will have another one of these though,” I say, pouring myself another shot. Eren joins me but insists it's his last as he’s driving. He's young but at least he's sensible.

By the time we finish and Armin insists the bill is on the house as a welcoming gift, the sun has well and truly set, leaving nothing outside apart from the sound of the still waves and the gentle sea breeze. The wine has left me feeling pleasantly warm, and I hope it might help in sending me to sleep.

We bid our farewells to the restaurant staff and Eren gestures down the sandy road toward the dark sea as he lights up a cigarette. We wander down the road about thirty metres and it spits us out at the beach.

“It's been so long since I've been to a beach,” I say, thinking aloud more than actively trying to start conversation.

“You don't like them?” Eren asks.

“It's not that, I just never found time to go on holidays. Seeing the world for work isn't all it's cracked up to be.”

“I bet,” Eren says with a hum.

We don't stay long, Eren assuring me it's much better during the day and when the weather is warmer. The trip back up the mountain is fairly quiet until we get back to my house. Eren remains in the car as I get out, but he doesn’t drive away straight away.

“Let me know if you want any help fixing the place up?” he says, handing over a sheet of paper. I don’t know when he’d found time to write his number on it, but there it is. I take it.

“I will. Thanks,” I tell him.

Once back into the silence of the house, it’s back to cleaning in order to distract myself well into the dead of night.

Chapter Text

It takes a few weeks to fully get used to the landscape, the weather, and the people. It’s a much different, peaceful way of life so far from years of what I’m accustomed to.

On the tenth day I take the car down the mountain to trade it in for a four by four, a small jeep with enough gusto to get it up steep, rocky mountain roads. The drive back up is surprisingly smooth.

I could have sworn there were more big rocks along that road though.

The house has been cleaned completely, everything is unpacked, and I’ve even picked up a few pieces of furniture to organise myself a little better. I’ve been here for four weeks to the day.

I plan to use the top bedroom as my own since it has the nicest view and an ensuite but for the time being I’ve got myself set up loosely on the first floor. The other bedroom is set up quite nicely as my study. It’s got my spare sofa and all my books. I had an apartment in the city for whenever I was back from the army, but most of my stuff has been accumulating in boxes for years.

It’s so nice to have everything out of storage and have a designated home for it all. Like the sort of home I always wished I’d had, perhaps in another life where I wasn’t travelling so much.

As for the final project of the house though, and the reason I haven’t moved my furniture upstairs fully, is we still haven’t fixed the hole in the roof.

Between Eren working and me trying to avoid the world and organising the rest of the house, we’ve not managed to get it done. Every time he comes over we end up drinking or going into town for dinner. It’s not going well. Not only is he practical and charming and stupidly good looking, but he’s also got a decent personality. He stands up for what he believes in and doesn't hold back. Shame I’m not sure which way he swings, even if his friendship does help distract me from my miserable mindset.

It’s an idiotic crush, sure, but it kills time. At the very least I greatly appreciate having a friend in Eren, especially in such an unknown landscape and culture.

However, today is the day I vow to move the buckets and tarpaulins from the top floor bedroom and climb my ass up there to patch this shit up. I grab my phone, calling Eren. It's still early but I know he’ll be up. I don't think anyone aside from partying tourists understand what a lay in means on this island.

If I thought the spring temperature was hot, it's only getting hotter as the days go by, less and less rain blessing my dusty green little mountaintop. Eren answers the phone.

“Hey, I'm fixing the roof before it gets too hot, you in?” I ask as soon as he picks up.

“On my way,” he says, far too chipper for this time of day. I don't bother eating breakfast. I’m not hungry yet. I’ve been up all night. On particularly bad nights I tend to lose all appetite. Eren arrives some fifteen minutes later, hair tied into a bun and work clothes on.

“Wow, Levi, it's so clean in here,” he says upon entering the house, pulling his boots off at the door.

“I was up all night cleaning,” I tell him.

“Did you sleep?”

“Not a wink.”

I don't have the mental energy to wait around for Eren’s disapproving stares or sympathetic commentary so I take my armful of tools upstairs before he can say anything. I can’t hear him make any noise, beside following me up the stairs a few seconds later.

There’s a large tarp laid out on the floor, with a couple of empty buckets to catch drips when it does sparingly rain. Above is a tarp covered hole, leading out to the patio where the doors are propped open with empty terracotta pots, a ladder secured against the wall to the roof. I’ve torn out most of the carpeted areas of the house, the large lump of discarded floor covering sat in the front yard within view.

The sun has already risen behind the mountain, but we still have about an hour until it hits us properly. Between the two of us, we’ll have about three hours before I start burning to a crisp in which to get the work done.

For a five foot hole, it shouldn’t take us long.

“So Levi,” Eren asks when we’re up on the roof, sealing over the hole and nailing the patch in place. “You think you want to start growing something here?” He gestures out across the farmland.

“I dunno, maybe. I hadn't planned on staying very long though, just long enough to take a break, you know?” I say.

“Then why move all of your furniture here?” He responds with a smile. He's got a good point.

I shrug.

“I like tea, I guess,” I eventually say once we’re done with hammering our respective sides, ready to start with the tiles.

“It wouldn't take as long to grow as you think. The soil is very fertile. It's a volcanic island, that's why we grow everything here. Because we can,” Eren tells me. Another good point.

I hum in response.

“What would you grow?” He asks.

“Maybe some chamomile? Lavender, schisandra, you know? Herbal tea.”

“Ah, very nice. Very nice indeed. You could make your own and sell them with the amount of land you have up here!” Eren laughs as he hands me a couple of tiles and a pair of nails.

I start at the bottom and work my way up, slowly but surely mending the hole. Eren begins on his own side.

“That's a good idea, actually,” I tell him.

“More than just a pretty face, eh?” He chuckles.

Definitely more than a pretty face.

Once the hole is sealed Eren insists on helping with whatever small jobs I have for him, so I put him to work on sanding the wood floors and cleaning up after himself. He ends up staying all day, given I do end up instructing him to do a better job in certain places. To my surprise I find he’s much better at cleaning than I thought he’d be.

Good looking, funny, and can clean. He just gets more and more attractive.

Taking a cold pitcher of water outside, I join him on the rear patio for a simple lunch of cured meats and goats cheese, olives and salad. Eren inhales any food put near him, regardless of its quality.

“Thanks for your help again,” I tell him as I sit down.

“It's okay. I enjoy your company. It's rare to get neighbors up in these parts, as you can imagine,” he laughs. I smile at that.

“I really appreciate it.”

“Any time, until you get tired of me.” Eren even eats tidier than when I first met him, and we’ve in all honesty not spent ages of time together. Lately even the insides of his truck seem a bit cleaner.

“Well you’re doing alright so far.”

We fall into a comfortable silence as we finish eating and once Eren is finished with his cigarette afterwards, we finish off inside and call it a day around two in the afternoon. All I want to do now is vegetate, my lack of sleep catching up on me full force.

“What do you have planned for this evening?” Eren asks. With a shrug I give it some thought. He said he enjoys my company, so why not test the waters?

“I was thinking of bumming out on the sofa, maybe watch a movie… did you want to join me?”

His face lights up and he nods, giving me a thumbs up. I suppose that's a good sign, right?

We do manage to get comfortable in the study with the drapes drawn and the lights off, some action flick playing as background noise. I can't get enough of his warm, comforting presence. There's something very solid and safe about him.

“I used to be really passionate about teas, you know? I used to collect rare ones and make my own blends,” I say out loud, more to myself, but Eren still hears me.

“What changed?” He asks.

“The war I guess. I don’t really enjoy anything anymore,” I admit grimly.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, making me tense for a moment. He doesn’t press for details which I appreciate.

“How about I take us to the Kirstein farm and we can get some plants and seeds while it’s still the right time of year?” Eren suggests.

“Sounds great.”

I end up falling asleep at some point and Eren doesn’t try to stop me. I wake up at around 7pm feeling like I’d honestly be able to keep sleeping. There’s a solid warmth beneath my head and I realise I’m using Eren’s thigh as a pillow. He’s also asleep, and a blanket has appeared over the both of us from somewhere.

He groans softly before slowly stretching his arms as legs out as I push myself up to a seated position.

“Sorry, you could have woke me,” I tell him. He just smiles sleepily.

“It’s okay,” he says mid-yawn, his hair a mess.

“You hungry?” I ask, noticing the time.

“I could eat, you?” Eren asks. I hum my approval.

We head down to the kitchen and start preparing some leftovers.

“You should let me take you out for dinner again some time, just the two of us,” Eren says. I keep my face turned toward the food as I can feel it heating up.

“What, like a date?” I scoff, playing it off as friendly banter.

“Well,” he says uncharacteristically slowly.

That gets my attention. I look up to him and his cheeks are a slight shade of pink and he’s got a boyish smile on his face. Sheepish, almost, as he shrugs.

“Well, if you’d like, yeah?” He says. I have to look back to the pot on the stove again, stirring it to distract myself again, hiding my own likely red face.

“I mean, I know I’m young and all, but I really do like spending time with you,” Eren blurts out, body turned to face me just a little. Also, when did he get so close?

“Yeah, I guess I’d like that,” I say quietly, forcing the smile from my face as best I can.

“No pressure though, sorry if I seem a bit forward,” he apologises and I turn to face him properly, giving him a stern look that silences him. He’s cute when he’s flustered.

“You’re an attractive guy, I like you, why not?” I tell him. His face lights up like a damn Christmas tree.

“That and you’re cute when you’re wound up,” I add on with a snicker. Eren just purses his lips and turns back to face the counter.

Too easy, I think to myself with a discreet smile.

Dinner doesn’t take long to heat up and we’re polishing it off in record timing over a glass of wine on the porch, muscles and minds tired from a day of work. I didn’t once feel miserable today though. I have Eren to thank for that.

When we’re done washing up and I’m drying my hands off, Eren steps a little closer, his attention just south of my eyes. What is he looking at?

“What is it?” I ask, brushing my nose and mouth in case there’s any food there.

Eren doesn’t reply with words, but rather steps closer again and kisses me gently, testing if I’ll push him away. When I don’t, his hand grips my hip lightly and he leans in for another. Another kiss that I gladly reciprocate. I back up against the counter and he follows, leaving no space between us. The kiss is slow and languid, explorative and curious.

It’s been so long since I’ve felt desired like this, the army never really permitting for anything deeper than a relief fuck. I melt into his embrace and practically turn to goo in his arms.

He pulls away slowly and presses his forehead to mine briefly before leaning back to look me in the eye.

“I couldn’t wait,” he says with a smile.

There are definitely questioning thoughts starting to bubble up within me, but I decide against ruining the moment for a selfish few seconds more. A perfect choice on my behalf especially since it results in a few more glorious seconds with his lips against my own.

Eren doesn’t kiss like a youth. Usually younger guys are too much all at once. Intense and needy and grabby. Eren takes his time, savours it - savours me - as if he’d had years of romantic experience beneath his belt. It’s so refreshing. It’s different and new and exciting.

With every second I can feel my reservations about staying here slipping carelessly from loosened fingertips.

Who knows, I may actually end up staying if this is what mountain life feels like.

I can deal with the barrage of questions and doubts later.

Chapter Text

Eren baffles me. It feels like I’m in the company of someone far beyond their years. He kisses slowly and sensually, knows exactly where to put his hands to have me a mess in no time. I tell myself that a twenty one year old farmer shouldn’t have this sort of light handedness.

Maybe it’s not even Eren, I think, as he kisses my neck gently. My hands grip at his shoulders as if to test that this is actually happening, that Eren is actually real.

That I can actually be treated gently.

It’s weird and unusual. I can’t even recall the last time I was on the receiving end of tenderness rather than hardness. Hard tones of voice, hard body language, hard survival instincts lacing every war-torn action of everyone around me.

A firm press of Eren’s hips against mine promptly remind me that he definitely has potential to be hard with me, only in a completely different way. I groan lowly at the sensation and he returns from my neck to capture the noise with his mouth.

I gladly slacken my jaw to allow his tongue access and again, there is no rush, just careful and explorative darts of his tongue against mine. I’ve kissed people who see tongues as an excuse to go all out and make things heated, but Eren takes his time with this too. I don’t find him to be too much at all.

Not yet anyway.

“Mind if I?” Eren asks me breathlessly, eyes flicking down to what is very obviously the own hardness he’d felt from me. I grip the side of the kitchen counter tightly and nod, and Eren takes my hand, having to near pry it off.

He guides me across the room to the living room area and turns me around, directing me to sit on the sofa where he kneels down between my legs. Legs which gladly fall parted for him.

Eren palms my crotch gently before he kisses his way down my neck and chest, over my shirt, unusually nimble fingers on one hand unfastening the cord of my sweatpants as another pushes the bottom of my tee up so he may kiss along my hips.

I sigh quietly at the affectionate little touches and ministrations, hair in my hands and hips lifting as Eren’s hands move to pull my trousers down. He doesn’t hesitate when kissing his way down my hips, over the small scars around my groin and into my pubic bone.

Sure I’ve had head before but nothing like this. This doesn’t just feel like relief, a quick favour between comrades, this feels like more. As frightening as it seems, I can’t do anything but relax as Eren murmurs soft compliments and praises.

“So good for me, just relax Levi,” Eren coos as he finally takes hold of my generously leaking cock. I’ve not been this aroused in years. I can feel the tension building in the pits of my guts, eagerly anticipating my building release as Eren’s tongue works some slightly different magic. He leaves sloppy kisses up and down the length until wrapping his lips around it and gliding down about half way.

He doesn’t even rush a blowjob.

“I’m not gonna last long at this rate,” I huff out quietly, head thrown back and eyes closed as the pleasure warms me from within. Eren hums around my cock and the vibrations don’t help my cause.

What Eren can’t fit in his mouth he twists in his fist, using his saliva as means of lubrication. I do my best to return the affection, carding a hand through his long hair, which only urges him on more, increasing his speed of his tongue and hand.

I don’t last much longer than that. As my orgasm crashes over me for a few blissful moments, Eren gently eases up and stops when my cock stops twitching. He makes a face and gets up quickly to spit into the sink, rinsing his mouth out with a handful of water and briskly washing his hands.

He brings a damp paper towel over for me and I wipe myself clean now that I’m focused enough to function again. I’m about to ask if he wants the favour returned but he takes the paper towel after me and stuffs it down his own trousers with a sheepish, satisfied smile.

He tosses it in the bin and returns to the sofa, sitting down beside me as I pull up my pants.

There’s a brief beat of silence.

“Thanks?” I tell him, unsure of where the awkwardness has crept in from as I attempt an appreciative smile. He just grins at me and leans over to kiss me quickly.

“Any time.”

“I didn’t think you were gay,” I say more to myself than Eren, thinking loudly, as I like to say.

“I guess I proved you wrong,” he laughs, the deep sound filling the quiet space between us perfectly. I can’t help but lean closer and Eren doesn’t complain when I rest my head against his shoulder.

“I guess so,” I say.

We’re left sat in relative silence and the idea comes to me.

“I was thinking of installing a fountain or a pond or something.”

“Get Armin to help, he’s so good with water features. He can make water go wherever you want it to.” Eren tells me with a big smile, interlinking his fingers with mine.

“Alright, did you want to find out when he’s available?” I ask him, and he hums his acknowledgement, giving my hand a squeeze.

“I’m looking forward to our date,” he says after another moment of comfortable quiet. It’s almost too quiet a lot of the time. Perhaps the gentle trickle of a bit of water will help fill the gaps.

“Me too,” I say.

He leans against me and trails his fingers over my wrist, moving them to my hips again.

“I was on a desert bike, the rear wheel of the bike next to me caught a land mine,” I tell him as he pushes my tee up gently to see the burn marks around my waist and hip. “I’m lucky I didn’t lose my leg,” I say quietly. He just sits and listens, soaking up any information I choose to give him.

I’ve not really spoken about much of my adventures at war, which is why it feels surreal and strangely satisfying to get it off my chest and share it with him. It’s nothing horrifically personal, only it’s nice to be able to talk to someone about it.

It’s mostly nice to talk to someone about it who doesn’t have a degree on the wall behind me telling me it’s their job to fix me depending on what I tell them.

I can just tell Eren anything, and he’ll just be content to listen. So I do.

“Do you have any other scars?” Eren asks, hand brushing across my stomach idly.

“Do you want to see?” I ask. Eren nods, so I shift up, sitting at the edge of the sofa and pull at the back hem of my tee’s neck, removing my shirt. Eren just leans against the pillows and watches.

My arms and chest are littered with tattoos and Eren’s eyes rake over all and none of them at once, unsure of where to focus his attention as if I’m bound to get dressed again in an instant. I do my best to sit calmly.

“Take your time,” I tell him with a small smile before pointing out the biggest scar covering my right hip and waist. I tug at the waistband of my trousers a little, although he’s probably already taken notice of how far down my thigh the burns go, stopping just shy of my knee. This one was from many years ago, so it’s just pale scar tissue now, most pinkness faded after years of healing.

Eren’s eyes follow whichever scar I talk about. Most are from odd bits of explosion, gunshots or shrapnel, nothing major. Eren’s face drops when I tell him getting shot was no big deal.

“Sure, it hurt,” I laugh - “but it didn’t kill me so I can’t complain.”

Eren frowns at me and runs his left hand along my right side, gently running his fingers across the burnt, misshapen skin.

“I was thinking of getting a huge tattoo to cover the whole thing you know?” I tell him before pointing to where the intricate mechanical tattoo on my left shoulder conceals another gunshot scar.

“That would be so cool,” he tells me, although I can tell his interest is slipping from my body as his eyes dart to my lips, all the while licking his own. I move a leg up onto the sofa to give him the space needed as he leans over, kissing me gently into a lying position against the couch.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Eren says once he’s practically lying on top of me. I wrap my ankles around his hips and find he’s remarkably comfortable. I’m not even bothering to care thinking into why we’re so comfortable around each other.

“Nope, not at all,” I tell him, guiding a hand to his neck to pull him in for another kiss.

We languidly make out for another five or ten minutes and just as before Eren takes his time and savours everything. His hands trail up and down my chest and sides as if none of the scars exist. I’ve had many years to grow used to them, so I see them as just another part of me rather than something wrong or out of place. It’s still nice knowing it doesn’t bother him. Another way in which he proves he has more maturity than most his age.

“You’re pretty mature for your age,” I tell him. He just leans back to look me in the eye and winks. I don’t bother asking any other questions in favour of having his mouth back on my neck and chest, licking and sucking little marks everywhere and teasing my nipples.

I arch a little when he nibbles at my neck, just below my ear.

“Oho, sensitive huh?” Eren teases.

“Are we gonna fuck or what?” I ask him, the frustration building with every sweet kiss and tender touch. As nice as it is, I’m feeling the urge for more.

“Didn’t you ever learn to not sleep with someone on a first date?” Eren chastises me with a smirk, as if we’re not fucking curled up together on the sofa like a human pretzel.

“And a blowjob is alright instead?” I counter.

“Touché.”

“I mean if you want to wait that’s fine,” I decide on adding. Island life seems to be the epitome of ‘taking your time’ with literally everything. I haven’t seen an urgent matter since I arrived.

“I think I would like to… how do you say... ‘romance you’ a little first?” Eren says with a cheeky grin.

“I’m sure I can deal with that,” I tell him, resting my head back and enjoying his slow kisses. Most guys I’ve fucked would literally die to get into my pants at the first chance. Eren is very refreshing.

“Just tell me what you do and don’t like and I’ll do my best,” Eren tells me.

“I don’t like waiting,” I advise him with a smirk, earning me an eye roll from the younger man.

“I thought you were meant to get more patient with age?” Eren scolds me playfully. I just shrug innocently at him.

“I have you between my legs, kissing me silly. Of course I’m going to be a little more than turned on afterwards. Do you have a contingency plan?”

“A what?” Eren asks.

“I hope you’re planning on dealing with what you’ve caused,” I tell him with a light buck of the hips up against his abdomen. He doesn’t need telling twice for him to understand exactly what I’m implying.

“Besides, you’ve seen mine,” I insinuate, which gets Eren propping himself up onto his knees, my legs lazily draped over his and curled around his back as he unfastens his own trousers and slips free as best he can, tucking his hand into the top of mine as he leans forward to capture my lips in another kiss.

This time he’s a little firmer and insistent, but I can’t complain given it’s somewhat more used to the tempo I’m accustomed to. He guides my hand to where both of our cocks line up and we both wrap a hand around both, stroking in unison as we explore one another’s mouths yet again.

It doesn’t take long for us to climax, myself shortly after him.

We are however, both a mess now, so I insist on us taking a shower, changing, and heading to sleep again.

“Good night, Levi,” he tells me once we’re curled up in bed, having surrendered myself to being little spoon tonight.

“Night, Eren.”

Chapter Text

I wake with a start, the small jolt not enough to wake Eren beside me. He remains laid out on his back, comfortably slumbering.

Being the only one of us awake in the dead silence of the night reminds me that as nice as yesterday evening was spent wrapped up in another’s arms: I haven’t changed.

Eren is great for helping forget my issues, but they haven’t been dealt with. A reminder which, following another bad dream, I’m left awake and alone. It’s not even three in the morning yet. I’ll hand it to myself though, I lasted longer than I usually do.

I roll onto my side and the only light shining through the window isn’t from street lamps, but rather the moon. Eren’s portrait is very gently illuminated and I try to focus on any of his features, eyes already accustomed to the darkness.

How nice it must be to just wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night.

The things people take for granted.

I almost don’t want to disturb him by getting up, despite the itch to do so. If I can’t sleep I would usually get up and do something. I remain where I am for now, eventually managing to catch another couple hours of sleep.

I wake around five to an unusual sensation around my waist. It’s an arm. I’d almost forgotten Eren was here. He groans low against the back of my neck, sounding tired and sluggish.

“Morning,” he rasps.

“Morning.”

Despite my moment earlier this morning, I tell him I slept well. It doesn’t matter much now since he’s awake and back to unintentionally distracting me from my problems.

While I’m making breakfast Eren is on the phone out on the porch speaking presumably to Armin. I still haven’t picked up a lot of the language, just pieces. Once everything is cooked I take it all, plus a couple of forks, out to the garden dining table.

I’d never used my garden furniture so much before in the whole time owning it.

“I’ll bring Armin up on Friday,” he tells me. I thank him and we both spend the morning slowly getting ready for our outing to the Kirstein farm. My own farm is tidy enough to perhaps become a little bit operational, and I have to admit the appeal of fresh eggs in the morning is tempting.

Maybe I could get a cat to help catch bugs. They’re fairly popular pets on the island, despite me being more a dog person.

Hell, maybe I could get both.

Just as I finish buttoning my shirt, Eren appears in the mirror behind me and walks over as I start tucking it in. His hands cover mine despite my weak attempts to stop him interrupting me, but he slips his hands beneath my shirt and curls himself around my back into a hug, resting his head on my shoulder.

“What’s that for?” I ask. He just kisses the crook of my neck. I can’t help but lean back into him and lean my head to the side a little to give him more room.

“Oh, nothing in particular,” says Eren, smiling playfully.

There hasn’t been any sort of conversation between us yet to distinguish just what it is we want from each other. I have a feeling that will be coming up soon enough, even if I’m perfectly content to let it lie and enjoy the moment for the time being.

“You ready for today then?” he asks, keeping hold of me for the time being.

“Yeah I guess,” I say.

He eventually releases me and we make quick work of our morning routine, getting dressed, fed and caffeinated before hitting the road. Eren drives us across the mountain and around to the Kirstein farm where I learn it is essentially the Shiganshina version of a garden centre. It’s run by the family and while I’m browsing potted plants in what feels like a large back garden, I overhear Eren in a heated conversation with another young man.

A strange sense of curiosity mingled with a minor amount of jealousy courses through me.

Who is the guy? Why is he so pissed at Eren? Why don’t I bloody speak this language yet? I want to know what they are saying.

Hell, if he meant anything to Eren I’m sure he wouldn’t have given me head yesterday and then proceeded to cuddle the shit out of me until sunrise. Eren doesn’t seem like the player type. Just the memory of it gets my blood running again. I turn my attention back to shopping though, since I’m not going to magically learn what they’re arguing about.

That is until I hear my name. I try not to eavesdrop, but it’s hard when I don’t understand anyway, I just catch pieces. The way Jean spits my name suggests these two might either be ex lovers or good friends currently in a bad mood. Then again neither of their tones suggest any familiarity that accompanies friendship.

I continue selecting my plants. I end up buying loads, filling the back of Eren’s truck.

“What was that about?” I ask him once he returns to help me pack the flatbed.

“Just Jean. He’s always been an ass to me, just because I don’t want to hook him up with Mikasa.”

“Oh, I see. Couldn’t help but overhear my name,” I say curiously. He should have learnt by now I’m going to be straightforward with him. He laughs softly.

“He asked if we’re dating.”

“Bit of an aggressive way of asking, don’t you think?” I ask as we get into the truck. Eren just laughs again.

“That’s just Jean, besides, I didn’t know what to tell him since well, it’s early days,” Eren explains. I can’t fault that. Again, Eren being far more mature than I’d expect of him.

“Are we getting dinner out tonight or do you wanna eat in?” I ask him.

“We can eat out if you like, I fancy some of Mikasa’s fish.”

“Sounds good. I’m still craving that lamb again,” I add with a small smile, remembering how nicely it melted in my mouth. I can’t wait.

Eren slides the truck into gear and waves at Jean’s parents with a huge smile, driving us off to our next destination. The weather is getting warmer now, so we tend to get all of our bits and bobs done early in the day and then retire for the hottest hours for lunch and a rest, going back out after the heat has passed.

We end up in the evening down at the beachside bar again, a table by the window and our orders taken. I’m having the lamb again because it’s literally the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten in my life. Eren’s having a grilled fish with some slow cooked vegetables.

I’m enjoying how relaxed and comfortable we seem together. Nothing is a big deal with Eren, and I feel like despite it still being early on as he says, I can be myself around him.

Perhaps not entirely though, not yet. There’s still so much he doesn’t know about me. About what I used to do, the shit I’ve done. There’s also a lot I don’t know about him, like how he’s strangely cryptic about his age.

I mean, if he’s older or younger than he says he is, I don’t mind. I’m not sure why it’s a problem. I guess the truth will come with trust. I’ll just have to build on that.

I catch myself imagining the possibility of staying to pursue something with Eren. I’d been getting into the mindset of actually living here permanently and the idea doesn’t entirely bother me. I don’t have anything to go back to and I seem to be enjoying myself so far. There’s no reason to doubt my choice yet.

“So good,” I tell Armin when he asks how the meal was. I almost licked the plate clean and I catch Eren fingering the sauce on his own dish, eyeing me mischievously as he sucks his finger clean.

Armin pulls up a chair and I’ve spent all day with Eren so I really don’t mind him hanging around during our date.

“How are you finding things?” he asks me.

“Yeah, pretty good, I’m gonna start growing some herbs up on the hill. We went and bought a bunch of shit today,” I tell him. He smiles and nods.

“Anything in particular?”

“Mainly teas. I can use the conservatory to dry them out and the garage to package everything. There’s more than enough space,” I explain.

“Wow, you’ve really thought this through,” Eren says.

“I’ve had a while to think about how I’d do it,” I tell him, smiling slightly.

“Also Eren tells me you want to look at a water feature?” Armin asks.

“Yes, nothing too fancy really. Maybe a fountain or a pond or something that won’t dry up in an instant. Just something to fill the quiet.”

“You’d be better off getting animals,” Armin suggests. Eren nods in agreement. As much as a small trickle of water would help send me to sleep, I can’t disagree with locals who know the land far better than I.

“I was thinking of getting a cat or a dog or something,” I admit.

Armin says something to Eren in their native tongue and Eren lights up like a bonfire, grinning ear to ear.

“Sasha’s cat had kittens recently, and Connie’s got a litter of puppies on the way if you want me to ask?” Eren suggests. I nod in agreement.

“Sure.”

“To which one? A cat or a dog?” Eren asks

“Yes,” I reply with a smirk.

“Alright then, we’ll sort you out,” Eren says with a smile.

“Got any plans for tonight?” Armin asks.

“Well, we’re technically on a date right now,” Eren says sheepishly. “Our first date,” he adds.

“Oh hoh!” Armin gasps and gets up, waving us both down when we insist he’s not intruding. He ignores us and returns a minute later with a single slice of cheesecake and two forks as well as a bottle of complimentary champagne. He slinks away afterwards with a shit eating grin and Eren and I just smile at each other, a little embarrassed but willing to enjoy the sweet treat.

We agree to take the bottle home for after Eren is finished with driving. Apparently the bubbles go straight to his head, so he insists he’ll likely be on the floor if he starts drinking it now.

When given some thought, I was expecting the date to feel a little more like a date - like a special occasion. It just feels normal, like when we’re together any other day. I suppose that’s not necessarily a bad thing, I’m just feeling skeptical at how smoothly and simple things are going between us. It’s not rushed and I don’t have many doubts. I really have to scrape the bottom of the barrel for good excuses not to date Eren, if I consider how he makes me feel first and foremost.

He’s good medicine, regardless of how many excuses I manage to come up with.

The rest of the evening goes just as well as anything else has since I arrived to this island: a little bit tentative from the start from my side, but Eren has been patient and kind with me the entire time. I’m still on the fence, but not enough to return his favour later that night after said bottle of champagne.

I’m partly glad we don’t sleep together on the first date. It’s not what I’m used to. It makes me feel all the more treasured - a novelty for me.

Another week passes and I see Eren a few days of the week when he offers to help around my farm. He’s got a few other things that need his attention, so he only stays long enough to help with the work, without extracurricular activities.

The satisfaction of planting all of my herbs is noticeable from the first day after I finish it. I awake to my new bedroom on the top floor, bookshelves up on the wall and my small collection of cacti sat happily in the window by the loveseat as the sun rises behind the mountain, painting the sea a beautiful turquoise hue.

The crickets are a tad quieter throughout the day but I get the feeling that every square foot has at least five creepy crawlies chirping away at any given time. It adds nicely to the ambience when there’s little wind to break up the heat. Instead of a water feature, I’ve decided to try my hand at fixing the sprinklers. They line the farm from top to bottom to feed the trees, neatly strung hoses with crudely poked holes proving efficient enough to spread water to the plant life.

Most of it still works - as proven by whoever it was looking after the place in my aunt’s absence before I arrived. I want to make some modifications, though, and I spot Armin’s car making it’s way up the side of the mountain as I stretch out in front of the window. He’s still about ten minutes out, so I throw some clothes on and brush my teeth before meeting him downstairs.

We get inside and I lead him through to the back of the house where I’ve situated my herb garden where the chicken coop once was. I moved the coop instead of getting rid of it entirely - Eren insisted - and lined the large plot with a number of different plants. There’s chamomile, rosemary, schisandra, rosehip and ginger to name but a few. I have lined the front of the house with lavender plants and have a small army of potted mint types.

Olive leaves I have plenty of. Another good ingredient for tea.

“How much tea are you planning on making?” Armin asks, surprised by the volume of plants. I may have gone overboard, filling the back of my truck about four times.

“I need more than enough until the plants are big enough,” I tell him and he hums. I explain the water situation, describing the fact that a whole shit load of water is currently pumped into eighteen different hoses from one outlet. Not only is it slow as fuck (as most things are on this island), but it also fucks with the already strained pressure due to being on a mountain.

Fucking physics.

Armin though seems at ease with the issue and assures me he can leave it with him and work on finishing the gardens while he magics something up.

I do as he suggests and we both get to work.

An hour in, I hear a loud clunk followed by the sound of spraying water. Lots of it.

When I turn what I don’t expect to see is Armin completely dry from head to toe with water spraying directly at him.

“The fuck?”

Chapter Text

Sleep deprivation must have gotten to me. That’s the first thing I can think of when seeing the water pipe spraying water all over Armin. Armin, who appears very waterproof.

The water spraying at him deflects away from an invisible barrier around him. It’s not something I can explain easily, lest decide how best to react to.

He spots the fact that I’ve seen him and something strange flashes across his face for a split second, as if he were making a choice. His hand raises toward the pipe and the water slows its spray and retreats to a slight trickle before stopping entirely.

There’s a tense moment when neither of us say a word. The surprise and confusion must be painted to my face as plain as day. I can’t fathom how he is able to do that. There isn’t any logic coming to mind. I can’t explain it.

“Levi,” he says from across the yard, cautiously.

“What are you?” Is the first thing to come out of my mouth.

Armin looks calm, as if I hadn’t just seen some spooky ass bullshit. He doesn’t try to approach, for which I am thankful for. I slowly rise to my feet, still gripping the garden trowel as I stare at him, the ground all around his feet soaking without so much as a drop on his clothing.

“I’m a water elemental,” he says. “Sorry about the pipe, my hand slipped,” he explains.

Someone that calculated doesn’t strike me as the type to let something like that so casually slip, especially given how calm he seems. I decide not to trust him yet, but to hear him out if he cares to explain. When I don’t say anything he continues.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he says, which I scoff at.

I’d like to see him try.

“Would you let me explain properly? We can have a seat inside?” He suggests.

“I can hear you just fine from here,” I counter.

“Six years ago I was given the ability to manipulate water. I’m still fairly new at it. I hadn’t meant for anyone to find out,” he says, and my mind instantly goes to his best friend, Eren.

“Does Eren know?” I ask. Armin nods.

I relax a little, feeling that Eren wouldn’t willingly put me in harm’s way. At least I would like to think he wouldn’t. He doesn’t even like stepping on bugs if he can help it. What else does Eren know though?

“Shall we go inside?” Armin asks again and I glance down at the trowel in my hand and nod, making the choice to trust him. I leave the tools outside and follow him in, pulling my gloves off and setting them on the kitchen counter.

I take a seat on the armchair and Armin perches a little awkwardly on the edge of the sofa opposite.

“So that wasn’t just some sort of illusion?” I ask him, wanting clarity on what I’d seen now I’ve had a few minutes to calm down.

“No,” he says, getting up and pouring himself a glass of tap water. He returns to the sofa and pours a little bit into his hand, the droplets seemingly floating on his skin like mercury. He sets the glass down and positions his hands apart from each other. The water floats slowly from one hand to the other, mid-air.

“And I thought I’d seen it all,” I mutter, shocked by the discovery.

“So yeah,” Armin surmises, pouring the water back into the glass once it reaches the other hand. “I guess that’s it.. did you have any questions?” He asks awkwardly. Clearly he hasn’t done this before.

“I dunno, it’s all pretty new,” I admit. My mind is drawing a blank. I’ve only known this guy for just under two months. What could I possibly ask.

“I mean, if anything comes to you I’m happy to help answer,” he says. “Do you want to finish work here for the day? I’ll only be fifteen more minutes with the sprinklers, I can finish up?”

“Yeah, okay,” I say, waving him off as I sit to think.

I watch him get up and return the glass to the counter before slipping back outside to finish up the tap. I must sit there for the full fifteen minutes just staring at nothing because before I know it he’s coming back in announcing he’s done.

“I’m done, did you think of anything else you wanted to ask? I’m happy to answer anything,” he says as he approaches.

“Uh, are there others like you?” I ask.

“Yes, there are a few of us,” he says, clearly holding back on something.

“What is it?” I press. Armin looks cautious, taking a seat. I feel a bit anxious at what he might say, what can of worms I’ve accidentally opened. It’s been drilled into me to expect the worst of most situations.

“There are a few of us per location, allocated to each element.”

“And this is an ability passed to you?” I ask, trying to grasp the situation, schooling in my expressions. I’m used to receiving bad news and dire information. Learning that the supernatural is real isn’t the worst thing I’ve heard.

“Yes, when my grandfather passed away he was unable to continue with his duty, so it was passed to me. When you inherit it you sort of get a feeling of who else is like you,” Armin explains.

I pause for a moment, fingers knit together in front of my face as I lean on my knees. I lower them to speak.

“Is Eren like you?”

Armin clearly wasn’t expecting the question but he surrenders to the fact it was asked.

“I think that’s for him to tell you,” he says.

The one guy I manage to find a connection with just happens to be fucking magical. Just my luck. I feel strange when Armin doesn’t deny it, for a moment it feels as though I’d been betrayed. The feeling doesn’t linger though. If Eren is as calm and honest about this as his friend, I’m sure I’ll survive.

There’s so many unknowns though, my thoughts race with endless questions.

Hell, if this turns out to be too weird I can always move back to the city. Somehow that doesn’t feel like an option at this point.

“Perhaps we should meet up for dinner and talk about it together?” Armin suggests when I don’t ask anything else. I hum, and nod.

“Tonight?” I ask.

“Yeah, we can go to Eren’s if you like?” Armin suggests. I thought I’d be invited round for the first time under slightly different circumstances, now fearing for the outcome of this dinner. What if Eren didn’t want me knowing about him? What if he wouldn’t take lightly to it?

I feel like my hopes for a normal relationship have been shattered, and the anxiety sticks around well after Armin leaves. He calls again, inviting me over to Eren’s for six. He’ll drive to mine and pick me up at half five.

The worry doesn’t quell in the silence of the car trip either. The roads are smoother up the other side of the mountain as we work our way around the top ridge and back down a little ways. I can see a lagoon down the mountain and realise Eren’s view is far more incredible than my own.

I may get the afternoon sun, but Eren has the sunrise.

As we approach I take in the new surroundings of the unexplored territory, eyes glued to the windows. Eren’s house is of relatively modern design, built with stone into the face of the mountain. His house is also surrounded by olive trees. The crescent pebble driveway is where his truck sits and he’s stood at the front door upon our arrival.

“I told him you know what I am, and that you asked about him,” Armin informs me before we get out.

I want to ask him how much he told Eren and whether he seemed upset about it or not, but Eren was already waiting for us at the door, looking no different than usual. His hair was loose around his shoulders and his sleeves were rolled up, hands tucked into his cargo shorts.

“Hey,” he greets us as we get out of the car. Armin says hello in their native tongue and I keep quiet for the time being. I’ll see what they come up with before I offer any conversation.

“How are you Levi?” Eren asks, clearly holding back from embracing me into some sort of hug or touching me. He doesn’t seem any different than usual. Maybe he’s not pissed off.

“Shall we?” I gesture inside when neither of them move, ignoring Eren’s question for now. He picks up on my sour mood and guides me inside.

The interiors are simple and clean, stone walls surrounding the open plan layout and very little decoration. It’s a bungalow and it’s not massively big, nor does it have a rear garden since the house is built into the mountainside. There is a main living area with doors leading out into the front garden onto the porch and a kitchen to the side. There’s a corridor between the two that disappear into the back of the house, presumably toward the bedroom and bathrooms.

The smell of Eren’s lamb stew hits me as soon as we get inside, the smell forcing me to salivate regardless of how nervous I feel about being here.

“Take a seat, can I get you anything to drink? Dinner’s almost done,” Eren says, returning to the kitchen. Armin requests an orange juice and I rub my eyes briefly before requesting a beer. Armin and I take a seat at the dining table beside the living room area and Eren brings over our drinks before popping back to the kitchen to retrieve the clay pot he’d been stewing dinner in all day.

He removes the lid and I can tell it’s been cooking since early morning, the thin dark layer on the top indicating just how long it’s been on the heat. It looks rich and delicious and smells divine. Lamb chunks, sliced vegetables and lots of fresh herbs have me dying to tuck in. As usual though, with something that’s been on the stove that long, it takes a long time before it’s cool enough to eat, so we dish up and the two start up the conversation.

“So uh, I’m glad you came tonight Levi, Armin told me what happened,” Eren says. I just force an awkward nod, unsure of what to say, focusing more on the food in front of me than the people.

“Apparently you wanted to know if I was like Armin?” Eren says, to which I look up.

“Do I want to know?” I ask, looking him dead in the eye. His gaze just softens a little bit and I can’t place his expression. He doesn’t look pissed off. He looks… relieved.

“That depends on whether you’ll still want to be friends if I do tell you,” he admits quietly.

“Judging by the way you’re alluding to something actually being there, I’m taking a wild guess that you are in fact like Armin. There’s no point in pussyfooting around it,” I tell him, stabbing my lamb a little harder than necessary given how soft the meat is.

Eren smiles a little and nods.

“Armin looks after water, I look after earth,” he says, picking up his own fork and starting to eat.

“Is it something you inherited?” I ask Eren. He hums and nods.

“It was given to me by my father three lifetimes ago,” he says calmly. I stop eating to look at him for a moment.

“Lifetimes?”

“Yes, once you inherit the power, you are reborn with your memories of past lives. Everyone has them, but only a few remember them,” Eren explains.

It’s a lot of information all at once.

“I haven’t met all of the elementals of the island yet, but we have Armin taking care of water, I look after earth and then there’s a few people you haven’t met yet who take care of some of the other elements,” Eren says. “Everyone else you’ve met isn’t an elemental,” he adds, ruling out the likes of Mikasa and Jean.

A few little pieces of random information start to slot themselves together now. Back when Eren had consistently made jokes or allusions to his age, or why the road to my house suddenly became easier to drive. It has jack shit to do with me getting a 4x4, the road still would have been bumpy as fuck. It just seemed to magically smoothen out over fucking night. I look up at Eren and it must be harsher than I intend as I try to piece everything together in such a small space of time.

Eren looks a bit concerned.

“If you don’t want anything to do with me I understand,” he says softly. I’m quiet for a long moment. I consider getting up and leaving.

What would I do with myself without him? It’s not like I can avoid him and I don’t want to move back to Sina yet. I just planted all of my herbs in the garden and I haven’t even made a start on drying out the leaves for teas. I’m too fucking invested in this dry ass place to get up from my fucking seat. I feel glued here, and I the more I think about it, I quite like the feeling.

“It’s not that. I want to stay,” I reassure him, and he and Armin exchange a glance when I look back down to my food, enjoying it more than I feel like I should.

“I’m staying, and I don’t care what you are. If you’re really serious about me though, just be aware I’m fucked up in ways you probably can’t fix,” I warn Eren.

I would have preferred to have this conversation alone, but Armin doesn’t exactly strike me as the gossip type. Eren seems to keep pretty close knit friends despite the relaxed atmosphere of their way of life. In a town where everyone knows everything about everyone, these two have held a pretty big secret up until now.

Eren smiles at me and I wave him off.

“Your food will get cold,” I tell him, and he returns to eating in silence. Eventually we all calm down a little and the tension seems to die off after I tell Eren I’m not going anywhere. He was just as nervous as me.

Lord knows why, he doesn’t even know what sort of a shit show he’s getting into.

We agree that it’s okay for Armin to head home, and that Eren will give me a ride back to my house later in the evening. We’d very much like some time to ourselves for a little while and since Armin suggested it, neither of us could really decline.

As soon as we’re alone, the dishes done and the table clear, I’m stood there awkwardly waiting for Eren’s first move.

“What’s up?” Eren asks me when I look thoughtful.

“Just thinking, it’s a bit funny that I find out my boyfriend is an earth elemental and the first thing I want to do is pure filth,” I admit with a groan. Eren looks surprised, but approaches slowly with a grin, placing his hands on my crossed arms.

“Well, I don’t mind if you don’t, but.. Did you just call me your boyfriend?” Eren teases. I give him a small shove.

“So what if I did?” I snap back, only to earn Eren’s arms around me despite my half arsed protests. He’s kissing my cheek before I can escape.

“Then it’d make me very happy,” he says, leaning in for a proper kiss.

One which I’m more than happy to reciprocate.

Chapter Text

Eren leans forward and gently pulls me into a hug. My arms don’t unfold all that much, just enough to grip onto his shirt as he squeezes me gently. I press my face into his chest and suddenly I can’t keep up with the facade. He’s let me see all of him, and yet knows nothing in return.

It still feels too early to tell him everything though. I don’t even know how to deal with my varying levels of grief, self loathing and regret. It’s been years of bottling up every single emotion that has passed me by. Years of denying myself feeling and sensation. Years of coldness, hardness and emptiness. Then along comes Eren with his warm, understanding kindness, unable to judge me regardless of what I have or haven’t done. It’s too much to handle.

I don’t even realise I’m crying until Eren has leaned back and is thumbing the water from my cheeks.

I haven’t cried once in twenty years.

Even through all the shit I’ve seen, friends I’ve lost and crap I’ve had to deal with, not once have I let it show. Even when the therapist tried dredging up my issues to be dealt with, I approached each one with indifference and nonchalance.

Eren just squeezes me against his chest again and it just amplifies all the shitty feelings surfacing, making me sob into his shirt like a fucking child.

“What is it?” Eren asks softly, stroking my hair. “What’s wrong?”

The most beautiful epiphany hits me between sobs. Eren must be so confused. He knows I did some shit at war, but he doesn’t know even half of it. I’ve never so much as told him more than ‘I was in the military’, aside from the occasional story.

I grumble out some semblance of an apology but years of pent up bullshit simply refuse to stop pouring out of my fucking eye holes. I detach myself from Eren and manage to stagger my way quickly to the door, closing it behind myself and storming down the front yard toward the road.

I can’t handle his caring touches any more. A huge part of me tells me I’m not worthy and in my frustration I kick a rock off the cliff face by the road, watching it tumble through blurry eyes. I park myself on a rock beside the edge of the cliff, waiting for myself to calm down.

It takes at least ten more minutes before I feel like I’m not having some sort of anxiety attack. It’s a few minutes after that that I can hear footsteps slowly approach. I notice a tissue appear at my side and I don’t look at Eren as I take it, wiping my face with a heavy sigh.

“I made some tea, come back inside,” Eren says.

Once I’m happy that I’m not as much of a mess as I just was, I push aside my embarrassment at the whole ordeal and follow him inside.

We sit on the sofa together and I take my mug of tea.

“You don’t have to tell me about your past Levi,” Eren says. I look at him in time for him to continue.

“It doesn’t matter what you did, all I care about is you being happy now.”

“Why?” I ask, my self loathing pathetically doing the talking for me.

“Because I like you, and care about you. Is it so wrong I want to see you happy?” Eren says, sipping his tea before setting it on the table to cool. He pulls a knee up onto the sofa so he can lean to face me comfortably.

My stomach is busy twisting with fucking butterflies at his admission and something deep within my chest aches painfully. It’s like a fire is kindling where for years it’s been dead ash and dust.

No longer thirsty, my tea joins his on the coffee table, my knees also turning on the sofa so I’m more comfortable.

“So, Armin is water repellent, what can you do?” I ask. Eren’s face lights up.

“Well, I can move and shape rocks, like the house - I made it,” he tells me proudly. I look around again, even more impressed.

“Impressive,” I say softly before turning back to him.

“We have our Titan forms, where we can essentially turn into our element. We can only use that in moments of possible catastrophe though. Like the other year we almost had a tsunami so Armin helped to divert it. It was easier for him because no one saw his Titan,” he explains.

“I can also generally harden myself,” he adds, gesturing to his arms. I scoot forward a little and Eren’s eyes carefully watch every movement. I push myself up and approach Eren’s side of the sofa, placing one of my knees to his left side first, giving him time to lower his other leg so I can straddle his thighs.

“I’d love a demonstration of that hardening ability some time.” I try my best to sound seductive. I’m tired of dealing with emotions, I just want them gone for a little while, and being close to Eren has always helped me forget.

He doesn’t complain at the change in pace.

His hands gently grip my hips and I rock against him as I lean in for a kiss, capturing his soft moan between our mouths. It’s far from our usual pace, but I’ve had it with taking things slow. As far as I appreciate him taking his time, I need this more than his gentle touches and patience right now.

He shifts his hips up in time with mine and it doesn’t take long before I can feel both of our arousals pressed against each other. When we part his face is flushed, lips wet with I’m not sure whose saliva.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asks, the grip of his hands on my hips telling of his own sense of urgency for things to go further.

“Do you?” I counter.

“Yeah,” Eren says without hesitation.

“It’s been a while, I’ll have to prepare first,” I tell him, pushing my hair out of my face. Eren’s hand trails up my side and under my shirt, hot against my ribs.

“I went earlier if you want to top?” He proposes. I shrug before nodding, too wound up to care at this point.

“If you have no objections to being fucked into the mattress who am I to deny you?” I practically drawl, earning a growl as he leans up for another hungry kiss. We force ourselves apart a moment later and I get off him so he can lead me to the rear of the house, my hand in his and tea long forgotten on the table.

While the rear of the house may not have any windows, the solar generated electricity does wonders in dimly lighting our way down the stone wall corridor. We pass the bathroom and I make a note of where it is, before Eren pulls me to the side into a spacious main bedroom.

It’s coloured with soft greys and greens, a few specks of brown coming through with the furniture and marbled olive wood ornaments.

The bed has something mine does not: a barred headboard in wrought iron. With no neighbours and being surrounded entirely by mountain, I have the urge to hear him moan like never before. The seclusion only fuels my desires to see him brought to his knees.

I give him a gentle push to the bed and he doesn’t sit down straight away.

“Let me get the condoms,” he says. I excuse myself to the bathroom while he does that. When we meet back up he’s still fully clothed.

“You’re still dressed,” I state. He smirks at me, perched on the end of the bed with his long legs crossed over each other.

“I am,” he returns, clearly with no intent on undressing yet. “Ever heard of savouring a meal?” He asks with a playful wink.

I briefly wonder if he’s had a shower today. Judging by how the stall was still wet in the bathroom, I take the risk guessing he showered before I got here. He has a habit of visiting with still-wet hair, so I’m guessing that was the case today too.

“Did you need a piss first?” I ask him as I start one-handedly unbuttoning my shirt. His eyes follow the movement and he shakes his head.

“So seductive,” he tells me with a laugh. I just smirk at that.

“I never said I was smooth.”

“Don’t worry, you’re proving it,” he chuckles.

Once my shirt is unbuttoned I walk up to him and take hold of his collar, finding his shirt buttons are actually poppers. He doesn’t break eye contact as I unpop one, nor does he look away when I pull the whole shirt open. He just lets me have my way with him as I push a shoulder off, kissing his neck.

“Let me know if you want to stop or slow down,” I tell him quickly. He nods and tilts his neck away to give me more space. I prop a knee up onto the bed and make off with his shirt.

“I trust you to look after me,” he says with a satisfied sigh, obeying and lying down on his back when I give his bare chest a gentle push. If he’s made one thing clear he likes it slow, so as frustrating as it is, I take my time.

It’s fascinating what the calmer pace does to me. My senses feel heightened, I can pick up more of his little gasps and gestures of pleasure. It’s easier to read him when I take the time to look. Perhaps I am learning a thing or two from him.

Whenever I kiss or nip at his collarbones or hip bones he arches into the touch and melts, sinking his hand into his own hair with quiet sighs and hums of approval.

He doesn’t object to me unfastening his belt or undoing his trousers, lifting his legs to help me pull his jeans off by the hems. As he wiggles his hips out of the garment, I take a moment to appreciate the view before me, all long arms and legs and tanned skin laid bare on the bed, all aside from a ridiculous pair of pizza print boxers.

Sure he may have lived a long time over a few lives, but he’s still only in his early twenties this time around, and sometimes it really shows. I pull his boxers down to his knees and leave them there, pushing his legs up over his torso. Once he’s in position I wrap a condom around a finger and circle it around his entrance, kissing his thighs to ease him into it.

“Ready?” I ask.

Eren just nods, his face flushed and perfectly framed by his legs from my point of view. My trousers are feeling pretty tight so before starting I unfasten the zip to give myself a bit of room.

The rest goes by in a blur.

As much as Eren says he loves a torturous pace, it’s not long before he’s begging for respite from my fingers and longing for something more, something bigger.

I don’t deny him, letting his legs down and turning him onto his front to give his back a good stretch before we start. It allows me the time to roll a condom on and I kiss between his shoulder blades once I’m fully seated, taking my time once again.

It’s been a while since I had sex with a guy like this - one that I care about - so I take my time and commit all of his sensitive spots to memory, giving special attention to angles which have his arms turning to jelly and have him biting into his fist.

He groans against the bed and mindlessly begs for more, faster and harder, my name a mantra tumbling from his lips.

The sound turns me on something fierce.

“You look so perfect from this angle. I’m not gonna last long at this rate,” I warn him.

“Just go for it, I’m close,” he pants out.

I pull out unexpectedly and manhandle him quickly to his side, propping one of his legs up over my shoulder. The angle is even more perfect than before, allowing me to thrust quicker, harder and more accurately into his prostate. Eren is busy fisting over his own cock to see us both through to orgasm at a relatively similar time.

I end up finishing first, Eren very shortly afterward.

I feel a wave of immense satiation and satisfaction, trying desperately to ignore the guilt of using him for relief. Looking at how his chest is heaving and his hand is painted with his own release eases the concern somewhat.

“Sorry about that,” I mutter against his stomach, kissing whatever I can reach apologetically.

“What for? That was great,” he reassures me, stroking my hair a little heavy handedly. At least he’s not bothered, affirming that my fucked up mind is just feeding me bullshit again.

Christ I must be hard work.

“Do you wanna take a bath together?” Eren suggests. I glance up at his clock and it isn’t even nine yet, so I agree. His bedroom has an ensuite with a large grey bathtub in it which fills quickly, the cold of the stone room making the warm water feel even more comforting and relaxing.

I hadn’t intended on staying the night, but I suppose plans change.

Chapter Text

The morning is a little bit awkward, mainly because neither of us know what to do with each other now the truth is out. It’s still a lot to get my head around. Now we’re not driven by lust, it creates space.

We’re still both very civilised though, and we’ll definitely be seeing more of each other in a couple of days, but I still have to take a bit of time to allow everything to soak in.

For said next couple of days I occupy my days with working on the farm while my nights are littered with a mixture of silence, humidity and crickets keeping me awake. When I do manage to fall asleep, my rest is interrupted by night terrors. I end up springing out of bed like it were on fucking fire, panting and scared.

After three days without sleep, I’m a proud member of the walking dead. I fish through the medicine box in a tired haze to find some of those prescribed horse tranquilizers I was sure I wouldn’t be needing.

It’s a hopeless feeling when your body denies you its very own natural functions.

I held it together so well when I was in the army. Why did the war have to end?

Anyway, I pop a couple of the pills and sit on the sofa in my bedroom, eyeing my phone. I was meant to call Eren but I have no recollection of actually doing it after I wake up. I don’t even remember falling asleep. The sky is also a funny ass colour. It’s 8am… the following day.

I slept for 20 fucking hours.

I only awake because I can hear footsteps in the house and someone calling my name a floor below. It’s Eren.

My back and neck hurts since I slept on the couch for so long. I have five missed calls and a few texts from Eren asking how I was, if I was angry at him, if I was okay, followed by him saying he was coming over to check on me if I didn’t reply. I ache too much to appreciate the gesture, but it will certainly soak in later.

Eren knocks and slowly lets himself in to find me sat on the edge of the sofa, still in the clothes from the day before and a bottle of pills next to me.

“Hey, you alright?” He asks.

I mutter out something that sounds like ‘yeah’ as I stretch out and Eren moves over to sit on the bed.

“I couldn’t sleep so figured I’d try these,” I say, picking up the bottle and setting it on the table beside the sofa. “I guess they’re pretty strong.”

“Is everything okay?” He doesn’t need to say it for me to understand he’s uncertain about how I feel about him.

“Yeah, sorry I meant to call but fell asleep,” I say.

“Well, while you were asleep, I made us an appointment,” Eren tells me as he fishes through my wardrobe. It’s all pretty much the same these days: dark long sleeved tee and a pair of trousers. As the weather gets hotter I’ve even caught myself wearing flip flops.

Eren pulls out a change of clothes and lays them on the bed.

“We’ve got an hour and a half before we have to leave, get dressed and I’ll make breakfast,” Eren instructs. I nod along and obey, getting undressed as he leaves.

I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror of the closet and realise I’m overdue a haircut. Another glance at the clock confirms I have time, so I head through to the ensuite.

I look at myself in the mirror, clippers in hand, ready to go through the same old motions. Clip my undercut and trim my bangs from the eyes down. I must have had the same hairstyle for at least three decades, down to precise measurements based on the angles of my face.

I look back at the clippers, pausing before plugging them in and instead opening the sink cabinet. I haven't changed the settings on this since I bought it, so I end up having to rifle through boxes in the closet to find what I'm looking for. Still in its original packaging, the heads for the longer lengths.

Back in the bathroom, I don't waste any more time lest I want to chicken out, pulling the hair away from my temples as I run the clippers through, all the way to the back. Same with the other side.

I adjust the settings a couple more times but I don't really start to feel the change until I'm combing the top out and laying into it with the scissors, the sink filling with inches of black hair.

I’m surprised by the result. I actually look younger. Completely different, but refreshed.

After a shower to get rid of the excess hair clippings down my neck, a quick comb through of the longer hair on top with a bit of wax I’ve had sat in my cabinet for a few years has me looking pretty damn smart.

I feel lighter now, as if something so simple could push me more into the present, waving goodbye to another pattern of the past.

I smirk to myself as I get dressed, imagining Eren’s reaction.

I can smell eggs and toast when I leave the bedroom, finding Eren at the stove plating up scrambled eggs onto thick crunchy toast. There are pitted olives on the side and lots of olive oil.

Eren turns to greet me but he stops mid step and stares.

“Where did your hair go?” Is the first thing he says.

“I fancied a change. You don’t like it?” I tease him when he just looks me over.

“No, I do, I like it. I’m just surprised,” he says with a smile, leaning over to give me a kiss as he places my plate in front of me.

Breakfast is eaten quickly and we’re out into the truck, Eren driving me out to somewhere ‘secret’ for this so called appointment.

This secret location turns out to be Armin and Mikasa’s restaurant. There are significantly more tourists around now that the season is picking up, holiday-goers everywhere with towels in hand and sunburns proudly on display.

Eren leads us through the restaurant and out back into their staff room, grinning as he sees me in. Mikasa is sat out back on the porch overlooking the sand dunes and the beach, with a pair of carry kennels sat on the side.

“Oh god, you didn’t…” I lean over to take a look into the smaller of the two carry cases. It’s a fairly average looking grey, brown and white kitten, about two months old. The next kennel has a puppy inside of about the same age, jet black and of uncertain breed.

“Courtesy of Sasha and Connie,” Mikasa tells me.

“What do I owe them?” I ask her. She shakes her head at me so I don’t try to insist any further.

“What’re you gonna call them?” Eren asks.

The first two names that come to mind haven’t passed my thoughts in almost twenty five years. If I mention them though, it’ll open to questions I don’t want to answer.

“I dunno, cat and dog?” I suggest lamely, to which Eren scoffs.

“You can’t name them that!” Eren complains playfully.

“I just have to get to know them first, are they male or female?” I direct my question to Mikasa. She shrugs.

I suppose I can always find that out later. Like the rest of life in Shiganshina, there’s no particular rush.

I can’t hide the stupid smile on my face when we get back to my house along with all of the supplies we picked up on the way home. Food, beds, cat toys and such.

“Looks like we got two little ladies!” Eren announces after checking them both over. The kitten is more tentative than the puppy, who seems more than happy to sniff at everything within reach, her cute little paws unable to contain her excitement against the slippery tiled floors.

Eren takes a seat on the sofa with the kitten’s carrier beside him, door open for her with no pressure to leave it as he fusses over the puppy.

“So cute,” he coos, scratching her ears.

“If you come up with any name suggestions let me know,” I tell him.

“I will.”

“I still like cat and dog,” I joke, earning myself a soft disapproving glare.

“You hungry?” I ask. Eren says ‘yes’.

It takes a few days to get used to having extra noises in the house, especially at night or in the early hours of the morning when I can hear adventurous little paws exploring. Sasha and Connie suggested keeping them indoors for a couple of months to grow a bit before letting them outside, where they were likely to prefer.

Suddenly my trip was creeping into a longer stay.

I don’t think I’ve quite admitted to myself yet that I’ve subconsciously committed to staying for at least a year. I want to see my farm growing properly and part of me knows this will take time.

I try to bargain with myself by saying I can just pop back to Sina for a few visits.

I know there’s nothing there for me, but I can’t let it go just yet. I’ve stopped talking about it though, especially since whenever I do Eren gives me a strange little look, like he doesn’t want me to go. It’s far easier to just keep him smiling.

I don’t want to admit I want to stay, but by nature of not saying I want to go, it sort of communicates itself.

“Oi, dog, come here,” I tell the puppy as she wanders around outside after I’d left the doors open. It’s hard keeping them inside when it’s so damn hot, but they seem quite intelligent so I give them a bit of leeway.

The cat’s started catching bugs as means of play toys, so I guess that’s a good sign. The dog just eats everything. Stupid thing.

“Hey, stupid, c’mere,” I try again, and this time she obeys, bounding over to my legs and barking at me playfully. When I dip my knees slightly in a mock threat she jumps down into a play bow and barks, springing away when I move again.

“Oi, turd, do you want this or not?” I wave a dog chew around and suddenly all interest in playing is gone with the wind.

These two are perfect additional distractions and I’m enjoying their company. These two, Eren, the farm, all of it is helping me spend less time thinking of the past and more time enjoying the present.

It’s taking months, but I daren’t admit (and jinx myself), it’s working. Slowly but surely.

I hadn’t been alone before for so long that the sudden transition had left me with a lot of time to think and regret, but now I’ve got new people in my life, it’s getting easier. Eren doesn’t ever ask about my past either, always looking to the next task, next meal, next adventure.

I’ve grown very fond of him.

Speaking of which, I give him a call and he’s over in half an hour, hair wet and tied into a scruffy bun.

“Hey Levi,” he greets me with a kiss.

“I got it,” I tell him.

“Got what?” He asks, confused.

I take his hand and pull him out to the garden and it’s easier to spot the first one lounging in the sun on the table, so I point at the kitten.

“Ailuros.”

Then I point to the dog.

“Kyon.”

Eren’s face is blank as he registers the names. I’m barely containing my shit eating grin. I personally think the names are hilarious.

“You’re joking, right?” he deadpans before rubbing his face.

“I said I wanted to call them ‘cat’ and ‘dog’,” I snort, amused.

“Well you didn’t literally have to do it,” Eren laughs. The names mean exactly what they are. Ailuros is a cat and Kyon is a dog in a language not too far from Eren’s native tongue. It seems fitting, given my new home.

“I like it though,” he says finally, so I tuck my arms around his waist and smile up at him, waiting for him to lean down and give me a kiss.

When he doesn’t, I frown at him, and he just laughs in my face.

“What are you pouting at?” he chuckles, his arms around my back.

“I’m not pouting,” I mutter, probably pouting even more now. Eren just snickers and leans over for that kiss he knew I was expecting from him. I find myself melting into him at the attention, hugging him close and staying put even when we part.

“Armin and I are going surfing later, wanna come?” Eren says.

The pets have been doing okay with not destroying the place when I’m away, so I agree, ushering Ailuros and Kyon inside so I don’t lose them.

I make sure the two animals have enough water and I leave the fans on to give them some cool air while I’m away, springing upstairs to change into my swim shorts, vest and flip flops. I bound back downstairs and Eren grabs my hand as we leave.

Chapter Text

The morning at the beach goes well, even if Eren spends more time ogling me than he does surfing. Despite the last couple of months in the sun I’m not the darkest thing at the beach, the tourists spending most of their days solely on the sunbeds, greased up and cooking in the heat.

While I’ve got more of a tan than I ever have, it still doesn’t compare to the shade Eren has turned. He’s naturally tanned anyway but he’s soaked in the sunshine beautifully and his skin is much darker than when I first met him. Olive and rich, he’s even more attractive now.

Armin and Mikasa have joined us as the other staff manage the restaurant, the covers consisting mainly of swimsuit wearing visitors dropping by for brunch after a morning of swimming or sleeping on the beach.

I haven’t been able to just relax and do nothing for so long, but I’m definitely getting used to this.

Between rounds, I’m sat on my board, kindly lent to me by Mikasa, watching the beach. The sea is relatively quiet all along the coast, all except for our little section. I overhear Eren goading Armin into making the waves a little bigger. I suppose it’s useful having a water elemental as a best friend.

By the time we finish up with a decent ache following all of the exercise, we hang out on the beach for a while, Sasha bringing us out some cold beers.

“How is the farm going Levi?” asks Armin.

“Everything is still alive, so good I guess?”

Eren chuckles upon overhearing and sits down beside me, stretching out on his back, getting covered in sand. Armin looks like he’s got something to say, but doesn’t come out with it straight away.

“The quiet still keeping you awake?” he asks, to which I shrug. It’s not exactly any one thing keeping me awake as much as it is a plethora of reasons. “I’m asking because I have a job for you if you want it,” he says, swigging at his beer, shielding his eyes from the sun to gauge my reaction.

“Depends how much jail time I’m gonna get for it,” I joke, smirking. It takes him a minute to realise I’m being humorous, but his delayed laugh is no less genuine if not a little bit awkward.

“No, nothing like that, promise. I was thinking since you’re up at night you’d want to be our late shift bartender for the summer season?” Armin asks.

I’ve never considered a bartending job before.

“It’s basically entertaining tourists,” Eren adds with a dry laugh. I can’t deny Armin has a good point. He needs the help and I barely sleep. It’s a logical solution to both.

“Alright then,” I agree, the pair of them beaming with smiles.

The job itself doesn’t start up for another few weeks, so it gives me time for the animals to get accustomed to living up on the hill. They say pets reflect the moods of their owners, and these two are pretty fucking chill, so I guess that says something about me.

Despite advice on keeping them indoors, they haven’t been overly adventurous when going outside so I’ve been lenient with them. They both enjoy catching bugs and I’d rather they learn which ones are safe while they’re still young. Learn some independence sooner rather than later.

So, having agreed to work nights, my shifts run from 10pm to 3am, which is fairly easy. I can be home for 4am and sleep a few hours both when I’m home as well as later in the day during peak heat hours.

I’m oriented around the bar the evening before I start, and learn how to make cocktails. It’s not too difficult given by now I’ve tried a lot of what’s on their menu.

That and I have excellent hand-eye coordination from handling knives most of my life, so getting a little bit flashy with the bottles without dropping them seems to impress Armin and a few guests sitting nearby.

A full two hours of induction and by the time 10pm hits, an arsenal of confusing alcoholic drinks fresh in my mind, my first order is for two glasses of wine.

Original.

During the day Mikasa likes to play more local music traditional of the region but by the time the sun sets it’s dance hits, hip hop and trashy throwback pop songs I haven’t heard since New Years - fifteen years ago.

Only four more months of it. I’ve fought in literal war zones, I’m pretty sure I can handle this.

It doesn’t take longer than a week to figure out the types of people which will frequent my company over the next few months.

There’s the party girls, usually a group of four, consisting of one Alpha and three betas.

Same goes for the lads holiday.

There are also the families who have fobbed their kids off in their hotel room while they get plastered downstairs.

The list could go on, but the worst ones are the cougars. Middle aged women who think the bar staff exist to flirt with. Connie and Jean are pretty good at it, but I’m slightly less inclined. It takes me a while to start warming up to the drunks. Entertain them and they seem content to carry on with their holidaying.

At the moment though it’s mainly the younger crowd, as school holidays haven’t started yet.

The shifts go pretty quickly too, which is a bonus.

The nights I spend impressing tourists with my bottle handling skills and accuracy playing pool and darts. The days are spent sleeping and tending to the plantlife up on my farm.

Any time in between is filled with Eren. Sometimes it overlaps too, which is nice.

Like this evening. It’s only 11pm, so the crowd hasn’t really picked up yet and I’m allowed a spot of freedom to join Eren out on the dance floor. He’s been teaching me a few moves. Every night is literally like being invited out to a party with different people each week. Mikasa and Armin have a pretty good setup here - there are plenty of other bars along the road but people flock to theirs night after night.

Eren tugs me in after a spin and wraps his arm around my waist, my hand in his as we step in time to the music, a huge smile on his face before he leans in for a kiss.

“How are you liking it?” He asks.

“Yeah, it’s good,” I tell him.

“I mean the island,” he adds.

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” I smirk. I haven’t outright admitted I’m staying yet, just sort of assumed he figured I wasn’t planning on leaving any day soon. “I have a farm and pets to look after now, I can’t leave,” I tell him, dancing a little closer. I revel in how widely he smiles.

He presses his cheek to mine to make the conversation a little more private. “What about me?”

“I said pets, didn’t I?” I laugh.

Eren scoffs but kisses me again anyway. I’m not the most publicly affectionate person but with Eren I can’t really avoid it, so I give in. I draw the line when he tries introducing his tongue though, giving him a pointed ‘time and a place’ look. He just grins and continues doing that thing with his hips he knows I love.

Cruel little turd.

The little shit knows exactly what he’s doing as the song changes to something a little more sensual, bringing his stupid sexy hips over to mine, practically writhing against me.

Not even my bright red face and the whoops from his friends is enough to deter him, so I grab him by the shirt collar and back to the office - which at this time of day is always empty.

The door bangs shut and his lips are on mine, the walls of the room still thrumming with the pulse of the bass from the music, but quiet enough for our heated breathing to sound far louder than it probably is. He pushes me up against the door and drops to his knees, a devilish grin splitting his cheeks as his hands deftly unfasten my belt.

“Not at work,” I weakly protest, my push at his head more of a firm stroke through his hair as he kisses at my cock through my underwear. “You’re gonna fuck up my trousers and I have to work in this all night,” I tell him, which actually makes him pause.

“Take them off then?” he playfully suggests, fingertips brushing around the waist and of my underwear - doing nothing to try and dissuade me.

“Later?” I suggest instead. As much as he’s excellent at riling me up, fucking in public is another line I’ll draw in the sand. Eren doesn’t complain, but doesn’t entirely let me go either as we make our way back out. His hand stays around my waist before tucking itself into my back pocket and squeezing my arse. He lets me go once we reach the bar and I’m forced to work.

He hangs around mainly to keep me company into the early mornings, although he doesn’t always stay the full night, opting to go and get some sleep instead after about 1 or 2. As nice as his house is, it’s quite cold and lonely, so Eren prefers staying at mine a lot of the time.

It’s pleasant coming home to a warm bed.

Especially when I’m tired and sore and a little bit drunk from all the shots the guests force me to join in with.

I creep up to the top of the house and find a lump beneath the thin bed sheets gently illuminated by the moonlight creeping through the crack between the curtains. I peel off my clothes and take a quick shower, dry off and crawl into bed in a fresh pair of underwear, spooning up against Eren’s back before falling asleep.

I wake in the same position although Eren is now on his back, half awake and playing something on his phone.

“Morning,” he says.

I grunt quietly, opting to stay cuddling up against him for a few more minutes before letting him get up to shower.

Once we’re both clean and sharing breakfast down on the patio, Eren asks something as I’m mid bite.

“Who’s Erwin?”

The question makes me stop everything I’m doing and stare at him. How the fuck did he learn that name? I don’t take notes, I don’t have photos and I certainly don’t ever talk about him. Eren must notice the serious look on my face because he seems to shrink in his seat a little.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked-”

“It’s fine, it’s no one,” I tell him. “Where did you hear that name?” I ask.

“Oh, you were talking in your sleep again,” he says, taking a generous bite out of his toast. I just about manage to resume eating after the shock wears off. I hadn’t heard Erwin’s name for a few years, it had just come as a surprise. Thankfully Eren doesn’t chase me for details, because I’m sure as shit not prepared to share them.

“Do I do that often?” He’s never mentioned it before and now I’m acutely aware of bothering him when he’s trying to sleep - especially now we’ve been sharing a lot more than before.

“Not that often, only when you’re having a bad dream or something. I’m rarely ever awake before you so I didn’t really notice until today.”

Oh.

Well I suppose that’s not too bad then. I feel my anxiety spike at the thought of him overhearing me saying shit in my sleep that I can’t control. I quickly ask myself why I’m feeling so shitty about telling him, and my thoughts are interrupted.

“What are you doing today?” Eren asks to change the subject.

“I might go for a hike. I need to clear my head,” I say.

“Take plenty of water, okay?” he tells me.

“I will. What’re you up to?”

“Just working,” he shrugs.

“Take plenty of water with you,” I mock, smirking. Eren just rolls his eyes and pecks me on the cheek with my empty plate in his hand on the way back inside.

I can’t help but feel nervous that he’s going to start expecting information out of me soon.

Shit.

Chapter Text

To escape the awkwardness of me refusing to talk about shitty feelings, I strap my feet into my hiking boots, slap a bit of sun cream on, grab a hat and a backpack and fill it with water and a couple energy bars for when I inevitably get hungry. The plan is to hike out into the caverns today, since I’ve always fancied exploring down there. I want to get in, have a poke around, climb some rocks like the giant kid I am and head back all before it gets too hot to breathe.

“Luro, Kyon, c’mere!” I call to the cat and dog respectively, shaking a bag of food and sorting out their breakfasts. By the time I place their bowls on the floor, their faces are ready to collide with the contents. When it comes to food, they mean business. I top up their water bowls both inside and out and leave the back door open a crack.

Unlike in Sina I don’t have to worry about getting robbed out here. People on this island literally can’t be bothered to get up to no good. It’s too much effort to do almost anything. They’re all far too laid back, which I love. There’s almost no crime. The only time the police seem to get involved is when drunk tourists go a little bit too far.

Eren’s already left for work, agreeing to help Armin out with something on Jean’s parent’s farm. Something about moving a stone wall.

I head out after a ten minute stretch, locking the front door behind me. If Eren shows up later he’ll always check the back door if the front is locked. It’s a relatively nice day, and it’s still quite cool out. I start heading down the road a little ways until I hit a small path up the shoulder of the mountain toward the summit. The ground is dry and dusty and the air is still despite the insects and birds conducting their routine morning songs.

Once I hit the peak and start working my way carefully down the other side towards my destination, my mind starts to wander back to Eren. I don’t think telling him about my past is of any relevance to where we are today - as a couple. We get along just fine and I’ve agreed to stay in this country for longer than I’d planned - more or less entirely because of him. But my past has had nothing to do with any of it, so I decide I’m still right in keeping silent about it.

I might be being stubborn, but I firmly believe at this stage in time that talking about my gritty past will serve no purpose. Every scenario I can think of will make Eren pity or feel sympathy for me, or try and convince me to go to therapy. I’d rather just have him fuck me into forgetting.

Hell, with Eren around I may not forget what I did, but being able to live with it is definitely getting easier and easier.

The terrain demands the full return of my attention as I hit a ridge. It’s about ten metres, so I tighten my backpack and adjust my footing before slowly lowering myself down the rock face. Three points of contact are always made with the wall so I don’t fall on my ass, and I make it down with ease. I’d seen this spot out here on my many morning trips out to the summit but never actually ventured further.

There’s a small ravine down here along the middle of the mountainside, and it looks safe enough to explore. It’s not on the tourist map since there’s no roads out here.

A few more climbs and I’m successfully at the far end and base of the gorge, climbing back uphill toward the small water source that seems to have long dried out after carving this hole from the side of the mountain. There aren’t many olive trees out here, since I guess no one ever took the time to farm this far out, so there is little shade aside from what sunshine is blocked by large boulders and small cliffs.

By the looks of it I can follow the ravine all the way to its narrowest point and then climb my way back up. If not I’ll just walk back. At least the climb will be in the shade if it does work.

I’ve been out for around an hour and a half when I hit the narrowest point of the gorge, breaking to eat an energy bar and wash it down with some water.

I start my climb. It’s about forty metres of dried out waterfall, so there are a lot of various different types of hand and foot holds available. It’s an easy climb.

I never anticipated to feel a deep, earthy shudder beneath me though, rattling the loose dust on the rock shelves I’m holding onto and making the scarce trees near the top of the ledge shake.

I must be about ten or fifteen metres up when the earth shakes enough to dislodge three out of four of my holds. Sure, I have fast reflexes, but as I feel myself falling and trying to stretch for a second grip, I have to let go to dodge a huge rock falling straight in line with where my hand would have gone.

It takes only a second or two for me to make impact with the ground and while I manage to roll off most of the weight of the fall, I twist at a funny angle, feeling my left ankle snap and my lower back and hips burn with pain upon stopping. I’m lying on my front, groaning in pain and shielding my head with my hands as I watch the last of the rocks fall from the crevice. Seems it was only a minor shift, but enough to knock me off at a crucial moment in my climb. Fuck.

I must have landed funny because my hips feel like they’re on fire, I have a bunch of cuts up my hands, arms and face, and a quick check to see if my neck is okay confirms my ankle is most definitely not supposed to be resting at that angle. Fucking shit.

Shit.

I dig out my phone from my shorts pocket. No fucking signal. Great.

Even if I could make it back up the mountain to somewhere with a phone reception, I can’t move my legs at the hip enough to get up, let alone move. I resign myself to lying still for a moment, trying to catch my breath and hoping that the pain will die down a little bit - or at least enough for me to be able to think clearly.

Eren’s an earth elemental. Surely he felt that shudder? He knows I’m out hiking today, but I can’t blindly hope he’ll instantly think to come looking for me. I’ve proved my capabilities on multiple occasions - he thinks I’m indestructible.

I have to think of a plan before I pass out or go into shock or dehydrate. I painfully prop myself up on my elbows and my lower back and hips pulses with the heat of the injury - whatever it may be. I can see the ocean from where I’m lying, so chances are there’s ships bound to be passing nearby, even if they’re just tour boats it’s better than nothing.

There are a few trees overhead but no fallen branches or plantlife close enough or large enough to create enough of a signal fire. I’m not going to get far with a phone that doesn’t work, a granola bar and a bottle of water. I push myself up enough to try and gauge what sort of injury I’ve got to my hips. I can’t tell from how it feels but it could be a bone broken somewhere in my lower back, tailbone or even my pelvis.

I manage to lift my broken leg on top of the other one as comfortably as will allow, and I start trying to drag myself through the dirt and the rocks enough to get myself over to one of the dried waterfall ledges. It’s a slow and painful process dragging myself four meters, and I am disappointed to find nothing more of use to me over here than where I just was. The trip back down is not flat. It’s a dried out river, consisting of big steps, boulders and uneven surfaces.

I’ve got nothing to work with. I might have to wait for Eren.

I check my phone one more time, trying to will the panic away. I’ve been in these sorts of situations before - why didn’t I mind the thought of dying back then? I mean, a pointless death like this doesn’t suit anyone, but I feel like it has more to do with my new life here than anything else.

I briefly consider recording a farewell message on my phone just in case I die, but I can’t think of anything to say, so decide against it.

Having managed to lay here for the best part of an hour, my late night and hangover start to catch up with me and I’m finding myself using my backpack as a makeshift pillow as I catch a bit of shut eye. Or at least I tell myself I’m going for a short nap because I don’t want to admit how much this fucking sucks.

To my relief it’s almost five hours when I wake back up and it’s only because the sun is right above the ravine I’m in, blaring with its equatorial assholery in full force. My throat feels a little bit dry and I’m covered with a thin layer of dust - as if the mountain were trying to recycle me before I was even dead.

“Nice try, asshole,” I tell the mountain. “Sorry Eren, but this mountain is a dick,” I tell myself, more to keep myself focused.

That’s right - the penny drops! Eren has a way with the earth. He can probably feel out where I am.

“Okay, it’s been almost eight hours since I saw Eren, he would have been back about half an hour ago, been curious to why I didn’t respond to his call or text saying he was coming home, then would have found the house empty,” I plan out his day, trying to convince myself that him coming to find me will be on the agenda when he finds me missing.

“Unless Jean takes him out drinking, in which case he’ll be back around midnight, but he might also stop by the restaurant to see me first,” I groan into the fabric of my backpack. At least Mikasa and Armin will notice my absence from work if Eren doesn’t pick up on it first. My shift still doesn’t start for another 8 or 9 hours.

“So Eren, let’s see if you’re able to find me, c’mon babe,” I tell no one in particular, feeling myself growing tired again. The pain is no less intense but it is at least bearable. It’s getting difficult with the addition of the peak sun, though. I can feel myself burning up.

“Now would be a really nice time for you to show up, Eren,” I mumble, arm reaching out to see if I can find a rock or a pebble or something. A palm size rock is close enough to grab and I keep myself awake by tapping out rhythmic patterns on the rock in front of me.

I pause only for a drink, or when my arm gets tired, occasionally singing along to keep myself occupied and noisy in case anyone strolls by in search of me. I’m halfway through my own rock-drum rendition of ‘Highway to Hell’ when I hear shouting. Thank fuck.

“Levi?” I can hear three or four voices repeatedly calling my name, but keep banging at the rock until I’m confident I know they’ve found me. My whole body feels heavy and exhausted and a little bit burnt, but at least they came looking for me sooner than I’d expected.

I miss exactly how Eren gets down the crevice so quickly - probably something relating to his powers that allow him quicker than normal movement across rocky terrain - but before I know it he’s by my side, bombarding me with a bunch of questions and looking me over thoroughly. What I learn about five minutes later is that Mikasa, Armin and Jean are all together, firing off a smoke flare presumably for a helicopter.

“Slow down, Eren,” I tell him, the relief in my body pushing out all irritation from his fretting.

“Can you move?” he asks. I shake my head.

“I think my pelvic bone or something might be fucked, and my ankle, too,” I tell him, more to warn him not to touch anything because every attempt I’ve made so far has been more painful than I care to repeat. “My hips hurt like a bitch,” I add.

“Alright, don’t worry, we’re here. I’ve got you. There’s a helicopter coming soon,” Eren assures me, sitting beside me and holding my hand as Mikasa approaches with a well needed umbrella for shade.

“I was so worried Levi, I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner,” Eren says as he strokes my hand gently with his thumb. All of the adrenaline I’d been trying to keep going through my veins has slowed down now my body thinks it’s safe, so I feel myself finally drifting off.

The guys around me are still talking but their voices all sort of fade out as the loud whirring of chopper blades sends me off to sleep.

I wake back up when we land, the jostling enough to wake the dead. I’m wheeled into the hospital for treatment and end up going through a bunch of scans and pokes and prods of my abdomen to rule out other types of damage. My ankle thankfully isn’t too fucked, but they do stick it in a cast and tell me it’ll take about five or six weeks to heal. Same goes for my pelvis, the left side of which is fractured, along with a small fracture in one of my vertebrae. Thankfully it doesn’t need surgery though.

When Eren comes by the next day I’m relieved to see him.

“Take me home,” I complain, and he just shakes his head with a small smile. I hold a hand out for him, urging him closer. I’ve been poked and prodded and scanned and tested all night and literally all I want right now is a kiss. Eren obliges me, making me feel far more relaxed than with the clinical hospital staff.

“I’ll have to ask the doctors when we can move you,” he counters.

“I guess this means no sex for a couple of months,” I sadly announce.

Eren just pulls a face and frowns at me. More for me thinking with my dick at a time like this than the actual news I was portraying. I just snicker at him.

“C’mon babe, I’ve had worse, cheer up a bit?” I try to convince him, keeping hold of his hand with both of mine, kissing the top of it before telling him to pull up a chair as close as he can fit.

“Sorry, I just didn’t know what I’d do if I lost you out there,” he says, leaning his head against my arm - one of the non-swollen body parts of mine. I pet Eren’s hair by means of comforting him.

“I told you I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good,” says Eren.

Chapter Text

As soon as I’m discharged, Eren takes me home, having already prepared my new temporary bedroom to be located on the ground floor instead of up two flights of steps. Since my hip doesn’t need surgery, I’m ordered to heal via bed rest until I’m able to stand again, when physical therapy will start. Thankfully it’s not too broken, so the prognosis looks good.

The house looks a bit strange with the dining room moved aside in the corner. Eren’s moved the table up against the side of the staircase and put my bed in the corner by the window.

“How did you get the bed down two flights of stairs?” I ask. It’s an entirely reasonable question given it’s a double.

“Easy!” he chirps. His enthusiasm doesn’t lead me to believe he did it without leaving scratches along the walls as he went. “I asked Jean to help,” he clarifies when I don’t look all that convinced.

“Ah.”

He helps me into bed and I gingerly scoot myself up against the headboard - the position I’ll probably be in for a few weeks or so.

“Hungry?” he asks.

“Yeah, actually.”

“Well there’s the kitchen,” he laughs, throwing a thumb back over his shoulder with a grin on his face. I just glare at him before he gets up and retreats to make something to eat.

“Real funny.”

“I try,” he laughs again. “What are you in the mood for?”

“Something that isn’t hospital food. Anything,” I exaggerate, taking in my new surroundings and trying to figure out how I’m going to pass so much time stuck in bed. There’s the laptop for watching movies, books upstairs and Eren.

The latter has agreed to move in and help me out while I’m healing.

“Did you ever find out what that earthquake was from?” I ask Eren as he’s plating up a pair of sandwiches. He shrugs as he wanders over, sitting on the other side of the bed beside me.

“I think it was a little ways out, the island seems fine though from what I’ve picked up. We’ve not really had any major shakes for a while, and it didn’t cause any big waves according to Armin. We think it was just a blip,” he explains, taking the laptop from me and setting it up on the footboard, sitting back once a movie is on and tucking into his own food.

The rest of the afternoon is spent making sure my painkillers are topped up and mainly sleeping my way through movies. Every time I wake up Eren is either playing a game on his phone, watching a movie or dozing off himself. I feel the urge to brush his hair from his face but the movement of my arm sends a twinge of pain down my side to my hip so I retract the idea and lay beside him hopelessly immobile.

I end up getting no sleep for the first week. I can’t move, I can’t sleep on my back and I’ve never slept well on my sides, even now, despite them being the most comfortable. Forget rolling onto my front. Not happening. I’ll smother myself in my sleep or fuck up my neck if I try. It’ll be a disaster, I can tell.

About a week and a half into the recovery where everything is noticeably beginning to heal, I’m laid in bed on my back in the early hours of the morning. The lights are still on and Eren is asleep next to me. The laptop screen is black, indicating the movie finished hours ago and he just fell asleep with it still on before it timed out and fell asleep itself.

When I look at Eren, I see a man with many unanswered questions. I’ve rarely seen his abilities in action. Sure, I know he has the ability to harden his skin and affect rocks and earth, but Eren is still very private about showing me. Tentative. Cautious.

It’s as if he doesn’t want to show me his full self yet.

When I look at Eren, even as he sleeps now, I see a strength within him - even if he doesn’t show it to me, like Armin occasionally flaunts. He’s so careful to conceal himself from me.

In this moment I realise I’m looking into the perfect image of my own reflection.

I don’t realise my hand has been pressed to my lips in thought until I move them away when Eren rolls onto his back. How will Eren ever open up to me if I have outright refused to do the same for him?

A small, sharp sliver of panic slices its way into my chest like a splinter, leaving me pale and quiet as I lay helpless beside my lover. If I don’t change, this may cause our end. If I don’t open myself up to Eren a little bit more, he may never open himself up to me, and I can foresee this being an issue. Relationships are meant to be all about mutual trust, understanding and communication, right? Well how is Eren meant to understand me if I don’t trust myself enough to communicate clearly with him? It’s give and take and so far, I’ve been doing an awful lot of taking.

The moment he opens his eyes and rubs them free from sleep, I know what it is I have to do.

“What’s up babe? You need some painkillers?” he notices my quiet demeanour. I just purse my lips together and shake my head. Well, I shake my head more in response to there being nothing ‘up’, but now I’m aware of it, painkillers would actually be nice.

“Uh, actually, yeah, that’s a good idea,” I say quietly, reaching over to grab the bottle on the table beside my bed, along with a bottle of water to chase them down.

Once that’s sorted, I lay back down and try stretching my legs out a little, gently raising my knee and holding it with my hand to carefully keep as mobile as possible. The exercises they gave me at the hospital are simple and effective, but good lord they hurt the first few times.

‘You sure you’re alright?” Eren repeats. I keep my attention focused on my stretches, but allow my mind to drift to where I’d previously been mulling.

“Erwin was my Commander for seventeen years,” I say softly, matter of factly. It takes Eren a minute to realise what I said. “He died three years ago.”

“Oh,” Eren says softly. “Sorry to hear that, I guess you were close…”

“Yeah,” I say, eyes still trained to my hands gripping my thigh. “We were.”

“Sorry I’ve been such an ass about not telling you jack shit about me,” I say after a long moment of silence. Eren doesn’t respond immediately, so I turn to look at him, just to make sure he’d heard me. He’s awake, but just looks lost in thought, eyebrows knit together and lips pressed together.

“It’s okay, I’ve not exactly been very forthcoming either,” he says.

“Well I understand why,” I say with a laugh that I regret, the jolt sending pain to my lower back. “Seriously though if you want to know anything I’ll try to tell you. It might be worth getting it off my chest,” I suggest. “I’ve never had anyone close enough to open up to like this since Erwin died,” I all but mumble. Eren still seems to have heard me though, if his hum of acknowledgement is anything to go by.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Levi, it’s okay-”

“Do you want to get to know me better or not?” Alright, it came out a little sharper than I’d intended, but this whole opening up to people thing was a relatively new concept since I haven’t had to do it in over twenty years. Eren doesn’t correct me or object. I’m guessing in an ideal world, if I wasn’t so fucked in the head, he would indeed like to hear more about me.

Just as I would love to hear more about him.

Not that I’m going to pressure it out of him, though. I’m sharing from my own volition in order to heal and if he wants to share in return, great. I’m not blackmailing it out of him with information for information, and I ensure I tell him exactly that. He thanks me and smiles before leaning over to give me a warm, appreciative kiss. My only regret about it is it doesn’t last nearly half as long as I need right about now, and my injuries unfortunately do not allow for any additional ‘activities of appreciation’.

“What made you want to tell me about yourself?” Eren asks eventually, curling up to me as closely as is comfortable, clinging mainly to my upper body.

“I guess I thought I might lose you if I didn’t?” I admit honestly.

Eren just chuckles softly, stroking a few fingers gently over the material of my tee shirt. The gentle movements soothe me.

“I’m glad you want to share. I’ll be happy to share more about myself too.”

That relaxes me, and Eren must feel my body sag with relief. Whatever it was within me refraining from opening up, it’s as if my entire physical being thanks me for deciding to change.

“Damn, it’s a shame we can’t have sex tonight,” I laugh.

Eren smirks at me.

“Another time,” he says, simply cuddling up against me, an arm draped carefully over my waist. I’m entirely okay with this.

I can’t recall falling asleep, but the painkillers must have kicked in and knocked me out again because I wake to sunlight on my damn face. I squint at the curtains, realising neither of us got up last night to close them. Eren is still asleep beside me, snoring softly and drooling into the pillow.

I slap him awake gently and he grumbles before rolling over.

“What time is it?” he asks, looking around. I shrug. I’ve never been a fan of clocks. Can’t sleep with the ticking in the background so I always ended up taking the batteries out. Waste of space, really.

“Uh,” I tap my laptop spacebar with my foot. “It’s half six,” I tell him. He stretches and gets up, offering me a hand to get me to the bathroom and back. It’s not exactly my proudest moment but when you’re in my sort of state you can’t have any space left over for pride or embarrassment. Thankfully when I’m in the room I can take care of business myself.

We end up lying me on the sofa for the first couple of hours of the morning and Luro comes over to sit with me while I have my breakfast, Kyon staring at me from her spot on the floor. There’s a little bit of food left over so I end up feeding it to the animals. They’re spoiled rotten.

“So I’m taking you to the hospital tomorrow, right?” Eren asks as he takes my plate. I nod at him and thank him, carefully sitting up. Pain shoots through my back and I have to lean back as far as I can to get it to calm down.

I must have grunted in pain because Eren’s left the dishes and is by my side instantly. I dare not move and repeat the same pain. I wave a hand at him to not touch me yet, letting out a shaky breath.

“Sorry, I’m fine, just got up at a funny angle,” I apologise. He keeps an eye on me for a minute but returns to the sink once I promise I won’t be moving again until he’s ready to help. Ailuros sits beside me and curls up by my leg, so I stroke her as I wait for Eren to finish.

“Maybe the sofa was a bad idea,” Eren says as he dries his hands. I have to agree with him, it hasn’t been comfortable at all. Once I’m back in bed, Eren insists I do my exercises and gets me to milk him for anything I need since he’s going to help someone in town with some bricklaying work. It’s no wonder Eren is so tanned. He’s a laborer after all.

I assure him after another restless night, I’ll probably just take one of those amazing sleeping pills to see me out until he gets back. He agrees it might be a good idea to get some more rest.

“Alright, the animals are fed, the sprinklers are on the timer and you have everything you need right?” Eren checks once more, his tired work clothes on.

“Yeah, I’m good. Go to work already,” I tell him. He’s already running late, but he doesn’t skimp on the farewell kiss, leaning in to lay a fairly decently one on me. A kiss that leaves my lips tingling a long while after he’s left.

“See you later babe, love you,” Eren says as he waves from the door.

“Love you too,” I call back without even thinking.

We’re both probably in the exact same situation once he leaves. One of mild shock at what was just said, but warm and happy at the same time.

I spend another half an hour checking the news, but eventually I get tired enough to start my three or four hour nap, turning to the medication on the table designed to assist. I pop one in my mouth, swig it down and wait for the sleep to arrive.

If I thought I could sleep through the apocalypse with these things I was dead wrong. A deep rumbling vibration wakes me about an hour into my nap and it doesn’t take my tired brain long to register it as very similar to the minor earthquake that put me in this bed.

Eren left the curtains open again, but for once I’m glad he did. The sky is strangely dark, littered with unusual grey clouds.

That’s when I realise they’re not clouds.

It’s ash.

The volcano is erupting. Fuck.

Chapter Text

The mountain I live on is right next to the once dormant volcano that dominates the skyline of the island. My farm is on the slope leading down toward the town of Shiganshina and Eren’s house is on the opposite side. From the way the land is set up in relation to the volcano, I’m right in any magma’s path should it erupt.

I haven’t been asleep for long, so Eren is probably aware and on his way to come and get me. I lean over to the table and grab my phone to check, just in case.

The moment I pick it up, it rings so I swipe and press it to my ear straight away.

“Levi?” It’s Eren.

“I hope you’re coming up here to get me?” I try my best to keep light hearted. Eren knows the land better than anyone and likely fully understands the risks better than anyone.

“The police are evacuating the town and not letting anyone up the mountain,” he explains, panic subtly lacing his voice.

“Hey, calm down a sec,” I tell him, eyes focused toward the window. “You’re an earth elemental, I’m sure you’ll find a way,” I try to assure him. The cat has run through the house at lightning speed up the stairs and Kyon is barking at the garage door. There is another loud rumble outside and I hear a faint crashing noise. Eren curses on the other end of the phone.

“Alright, I’m gonna come get you. Let’s stay on the line until it cuts out?” he suggests, clearly pushing through a crowd of people, car horns blaring in the background and people yelling in the streets wherever he is down in town.

“What’s happening out there?” I ask.

“The volcano has blown, you can probably see the ash, but it’s firing out chunks of flaming rock, it’s madness out here!” he has to raise his voice to be heard above the panicked crowds. “Armin! Armin!” he calls, talking to him in their native tongue. I hear my name and he’s presumably about to get Armin’s help with something.

While he’s busy with whatever it is he’s doing, I look around the room to try to figure out my best options for a plan B. The back door is open, so first that needs to change - I don’t want ash getting in the house. There’s debris being blown around and there’s a possibility of lava, so I need to move from the ground floor up to the first, but avoid the second floor in case anything hits the roof. This is what I tell myself.

Most of the house is made of stone, so it will take time for it to melt through. I don’t have to worry too much about a house fire until the windowsills start to burn out.

I try sitting up - perhaps a little quicker than I should. My spine sears with pain if I overexert myself too much. Sure, my pelvis and spine only suffered small fractures, but it still hurts like a bitch.

“You still there Levi?” Eren asks, evidently hearing my hiss of pain.

“Yeah I’m still here, it’s not like I can move far,” I tell him, gingerly sitting up and setting my moon-booted foot to the floor, testing how much weight it can take.

“Don’t worry, I’m coming, I just have to sneak past the cops, they’re distracted with the evacuation though, so it’s all good.”

“So if they’re evacuating, that means there’s magma on our side of the mountain?” I ask.

Eren hesitates before replying. “Yeah. It’s pretty slow though. Rocks are still flying though, I’ll try my best to kee- th- a- f-om y-r -e.”

“What?” I ask as Eren breaks up and the line quickly dies.

“Fuck,” I mutter to myself, aware that now I’m on my own until Eren arrives.

There is a loud crash outside and Kyon comes running up to the side of my bed, tail between her legs, whimpering. I try my luck at moving again, this time extremely slowly, despite every cell in my body telling me to get up and just run. The pain is bearable for the most part, the painkillers from earlier still working their magic to a certain degree.

It really makes me appreciate Eren taking the time to move in with me to help me around the house. I’d be fucked if I had the shits in this condition.

Kyon stays close to me and I reach over for the walker the hospital provided me with, pulling it into place. It’s kinda tricky moving when you’ve got a brace around your lower back and hips, but it keeps everything relatively safe from further harm, so I suppose that’s a bonus.

My feet can feel the subtle rumbles of the earth. I better get moving.

I stuff my phone into my pocket in the rare chance that my signal returns, and try pushing myself up. Kyon stays close by and follows me diligently when I manage to start shuffling. My ankle isn’t all that bad. I had expected worse. The back door isn’t far, so I spend the first part of the journey moving over there to shut it. I want whatever comes at this house to have to go through as many different barriers as possible before I go down. I might have a fucked back, but I’m not going down without a fight.

I hobble myself over to the staircase and take hold of the handrail on one side, wincing as I lift a leg onto the first step, slowly making my way upstairs. I try to use most of my upper body strength to pull my weight up but the earth shudders and a deafening crash vibrates through the house coming from the direction of the garage.

My footing slips and the ground’s shaking dislodges my grip on the rail, sending me to the hardwood floor of the turn in the stairs, involuntarily grunting in pain as I feel a sharp pain in my back.

“Fucking give me a break already!” I shout at nothing, hearing my car alarm go off just to add insult to injury. Kyon has followed me up the stairs, staying by my side protectively and licking my face by means of comfort. “Fucking dog,” I mutter, despite appreciating the gesture.

I’m in too much pain to move, and I can see smoke creeping into the kitchen from under the garage door. The smoke is slow moving but it seems something molten just collided with the garage. Fucking open plan bullshit.

The next thing I hear sends Kyon up the second set of stairs for good - there is a deafening roar outside and the moment I tilt my head up to look outside the double patio doors and the large window above it, I spot a large bare foot stepping throughout the trees of the farm. The skin on the creature looks like the texture of stone and its footsteps reverberate throughout the whole house, rattling and shaking cups and books and making the ground move beneath me.

I feel the blood drain from my face, having never seen anything like it in all my years at war. I’ve seen people blown to smithereens, experienced crippling political corruption and had to make plenty of life and death decisions, but I’ve never seen a fucking giant before.

The sight is enough to frighten even me, but the moment my brain catches on, there’s only one word I’m able to breathe out...

“Eren…”

Kyon barks from the top of the steps, clearly reluctant to return to me, despite seemingly wanting to. She looks torn between duty and fear, a feeling I’m familiar with. She braves the fear in order to pad back down, nestling up against my shoulder and licking my forehead.

“Hey girl, don’t worry, it’s Eren. I think..”

Kyon whines.

I return my attention to the creature outside, watching as its bare body lumbers up the mountain before disappearing out of sight, its footsteps still thumping through the floorboards.

I must lay there for what feels like hours (but realistically is probably only ten minutes), and the smoke doesn’t seem to get any worse. It’s as if the smoke is avoiding me. It’s a tense wait, but eventually I hear banging at the door.

“Levi!” I can’t make out who it is, until they try the door handle, finding it open and hurrying in. It’s Armin and Connie. They spot me fairly quickly and I mentally apologise for cursing the house’s open floor plan. Kyon barking helps spot me quickly too. She tries her best to guard me but wags her tail when Armin approaches, realising he’s friendly.

Connie and Armin help me up and back down the stairs, where they drag my sorry arse out to Armin’s truck, laying me down on the back seat. There’s not a bird or animal in sight and the sky is full of ash and I glance over at the volcano to spot a large humanoid figure with long brown hair and skin like stone. It’s got to be Eren, judging by the way he’s powerfully forcing his hands into the side of the mountain, drawing huge chunks of rock up to act as barriers. They seem to be redirecting magma oozing from the volcano down the opposite valley, into the sea via the uninhabited coastline.

It’s only a moment later that Connie returns with Kyon and Armin with Ailuros, lumping them in the back with me. Armin dives behind the wheel and pulls the truck out and heads down the mountain, leaving me staring out the back of the truck in awe of what I’ve just seen.

The last I see of Eren is his titan form disappearing over one of the mountain crests, off to tackle a different magma leak.

I’m pretty sure Connie knows about the elementals, but I keep my questions for Armin to myself for now. I’ll ask him about Eren later.

He drives us down to the town and beyond, using the strangely smooth mountain passes to avoid the traffic as he heads out to the town’s muster point at the pinnacle of the island about a half hour away. It’s a huge flat plateau where hundreds of people have congregated by the time we arrive. It’s well out of the way of the volcano, the mountain I live on blocking most of the falling debris.

I’m not sure what Armin and Connie end up doing but they leave me with the paramedics who have set up inside one of the island’s historical castles. They’re still busy evacuating the hospital and schools to here. They situate me on one of their mockup wards and Armin returns by himself a few hours later, sitting on the end of my bed.

“Hey,” he says.

I return the greeting.

“How are you feeling?” Armin asks.

“Eh, a bit achy but they gave me some sort of painkillers in the drip so I’m happy,” I laugh slightly, gesturing to the IV beside my bed, hooked up to my arm.

“Well that’s something at least,” he says, leaving a slight pause in the conversation. One which I utilise to the fullest, cutting straight to the chase.

“So Armin, that was Eren on the mountain, right?” I ask, voice low.

Armin’s brows twitch and his eyes widen as if my question was the last in a million he’d expected to hear. He places a hand to his mouth as he thinks, forehead scrunched together.

“Did you see him?” Armin carefully asks. Why he’s so cautious I don’t know.

“He was pretty hard to miss,” I scoff, expression turning serious. “Please tell me I’m not crazy.”

Armin is quiet for a long moment.

Armin begins slowly. “So to clarify we’re talking about the same thing-”

“Eren’s titan form.” I abruptly interrupt. Armin and I get along well enough, but I’m more the type to take action first and think it over later, whereas Armin is the complete opposite. Everything is calculated and considered and accurate.

His overthinking waives to my straightforwardness and he responds with a simple nod and a quiet sigh of defeat.

“What aren’t you telling me?” I ask, knowing something was up as soon as he looked surprised by the question.

Armin’s lips press into a thin line before he sighs and shrugs. “I just don’t understand. Non-elementals aren’t mean to be able to see another’s titan form. Only other elementals can see them. You’re not an elemental so I don’t get it,” he says, hands further expressing his confusion. I end up having to pause to think this one over.

“Maybe ‘cause Eren and I are close?” I suggest. Armin just shrugs. I suppose he too is fairly new to being an elemental. “I guess I can just ask Eren?”

“Yeah, he might be able to tell you. If he doesn’t know he might know someone who does,” Armin suggests. “It would be interesting to learn how it is you can see the titans, though.”

“Tell me about it,” I laugh dryly. “Anyway, speaking of which, where is Eren?” I ask.

“I think he’ll be busy for a while making sure the volcano has settled. Whenever there’s a natural disaster it’s our job to keep as much peace as possible. It’s not about saving lives each time, but rather learning what the element is telling us - why it accumulated to that point. It’s a huge learning when something like this happens, Eren won’t be able to help but to stay out on the volcano until everything calms down.”

“Understandable,” I say. “I guess you’ll have your own work to do with all the lava leaking into the sea?”

Armin smiles and rubs his neck, nodding, so I tell him to go and get on with it. We bid our farewells and he promises he’ll update me if he hears from Eren.

I, alongside many others who are injured, end up taking shelter here for the next three weeks. Thankfully they have food, water and medicine. Anyone who filters in injured from the ash or stray rocks that ploughed through the town from the initial explosion are seen to promptly, and there aren’t too many casualties.

It’s the fastest I’ve seen these islanders move.

Armin, Mikasa, Connie and Sasha from the bar all come to visit me and help to kill the time. They’re all stranded out on this side of town, the locals on this side of the island putting most people up in living rooms and garages on camp beds and sofas until it’s safe to return or homes are rebuilt.

I haven’t had any way of getting in touch with Eren since our call cut out. I’m still not sure what to make of the whole thing - my boyfriend can turn into a 15-meter earthen titan at will. I’m going to have to have words with him about that.

Words which come a lot sooner than I’d expected once Armin drives me and the pets home after the fourth week. We were put out for an entire month while the volcano settled, although ash is still slowly seeping from the peak.

I shield my eyes from the sun as Armin drives us back into town, my eyes raking over the whitened landscape, painted with ash. It’s strange seeing a white landscape again, given that it never snows here, even on the highest apexes of it’s mountains.

“The ash is kinda pretty, don’t you think?” Armin asks.

I hum and nod. “Yeah.”

I’m healed enough now to get around with help of a cane but I’ve still got a bit more bedrest to get through before I’ll be able to move around properly. My method for healing has literally been immobilisation. It’s been dull, but nothing I can’t handle.

Eren is waiting for me at the house, plaid shirt and tatty work jeans on as if nothing had happened this last month. He’s not shaved for a few days, giving him that stupidly sexy ungroomed look. I’ve had plenty of time to think about what I plan on saying to him as soon as I see him again, and all of the various conversation starters I’ve spent a month conjuring up all dissipate as soon as I’m within arms reach.

He pulls me into a hug and I do my best with the cane to wrap my arms around him in return.

Of all the various feelings going on within me, relief is the strongest. I didn’t realise how much I missed him until I was back home. I feel Eren waving Armin off as he returns to his truck, and once I hear him pull out I lean back from the hug to pull Eren down into a reuniting kiss. It’s firmer than I prefer, but it portrays just how much we missed one another.

“It’s good to see you,” he says once we part, giving me a little bit of space to re-balance myself, his hands not leaving my arms in order to help steady me whether I need it or not. “Shall we?” he gestures inside and I nod.

“Yeah, we need to catch up.”

Chapter Text

Eren and I end up sat inside since there’s too much ash in the backyard to be able to sit on the porch and stay clean. We catch up on the basics, how we are, how my last four weeks were and what Eren was doing on the mountain.

It was mainly just somehow helping the volcano to settle. It impresses me that Eren is able to tame such a volatile element using another. Maybe that’s what Armin was saying about maintaining balance…

“You didn’t burn yourself did you?” I ask.

“No, I’m quite thick skinned,” he laughs.

“Yeah, I noticed. I saw your Titan,” I tell him to his face. He gives me almost the exact same look Armin did. “Also I already know I’m not supposed to be able to see that,” I add before he can give me the spiel.

Eren takes a moment to register what I’ve told him.

“Is it a bad thing that I can see that?” I ask, since we’re here.

“Not strictly speaking,” he says with one of his bright smiles. “It just means you’re attuned to an element.”

“And again in a language I understand?”

“It means you’ve aligned or connected to an element. Probably earth, given how close we are. It just means you’ve developed a connection with… how do I call her simply? Mother Nature?” Eren explains.

“Oh, is this ‘Mother Nature’ a person like you?” I ask.

Eren’s face lights up and he nods. He must really like her. “Yep! Her name is Historia Reiss, she’s the-“

“-Queen of Sina.” I finish for him.

It’s funny learning this now, since twenty odd years ago I thought I was joining the military under entirely different reasons. Finding out that the daughter of the man who commissioned to have me enlisted would be fucking Mother Nature.

Consider my mind blown.

“What’s up?” Eren’s voice brings me back to reality, so I tell him my realisation.

“Oh damn, what are the odds?” he says with an amused smile. “Maybe it was meant to be,” he adds.

For the next few weeks I’m able to sit with the new information. Eren waits for me to finish recovering before suggesting we make any plans. I’m still a bit stiff in places but with regular physio, the healing process is fairly smooth. I’m even able to get back to work at the bar before the end of the season.

By now the island is as hot as it’s going to get, midday temperatures reaching the mid-forties on some of the hottest days. Usually it’s in the thirties.

The farm is growing well and the pets have been added to with a small collection of five hens. They just roam around since most of the farm is fenced. They always seem to return to where food is anyway, so I’m not incredibly worried about them disappearing on me.

I get in from the roof terrace, having been busy cleaning the residual ash and head for a shower before work. I notice a candle on the dresser burning. I don’t remember lighting it, so I blow it out and head to the shower, giving it a weird look over my shoulder before closing the door.

Work is eventful and fun, and the holiday-goers - all new ones by now - love me to bits as they get to know me throughout the next few days. I meet a whole swarm of new people and even end up having a chat with a grandfather who broke his hip recently too. He however had to have it replaced, so told me I should ‘count my lucky stars’. Thankfully my prior physical fitness helped me heal faster than the average person.

Eren convinces me to get up the next day early so we can clean the house together. He doesn’t have to tell me twice. It’s my turn to cook breakfast, so Eren works on fixing the garage while I do that. He returns once he’s done and hugs me from behind, resting his chin on my head.

“Done already?” I ask, turning the lamb sausages in the pan, making no effort to move from his embrace.

“Yeah, it was only a small hole,” he says, referring to the metre-wide hole in the wall caused by flaming volcanic rocks made airbourne.

“Stone wall repairs are great when you’re dating an earth elemental,” I chuckle, to which Eren leans in and kisses my cheek, telling me how breakfast is looking good.

We eat at a leisurely pace and we head upstairs afterward to start. I walk out through the bedroom patio doors, broom in hand and flip flops brushing over the layer of ash and dust on the roof terrace. From the high vantage point I take a moment to stop and stare out over the landscape.

There is a huge rise of rock in the mountainside overlooking my farm with two huge dark streams of cooled magma directed to either side, away from my land. I feel Eren’s hand on the small of my back and he curls his arm around my waist to look across the landscape beside me.

“I figured you might not stay if you lost everything you’d worked so hard to build,” he says as I lean against him and look at the strange geological formation. This must have been what he was doing when I was leaving. I’m awestruck. Just thinking that someone would do something like that for me wells all sorts of emotions up in me, pooling quicker than I can stop them into the form of tears. I can’t place what the overwhelming feeling is until the wetness is streaking my cheeks. It’s happiness.

“What’s up?” Eren asks, concern lacing his voice. I turn into his chest and hug him tightly.

Eren wraps his arms around my back and strokes gently, neck leaning in a little to wrap me up within his embrace. He eases up once I push myself back, smiling at him like some sort of lovesick idiot. His eyes widen minutely at my expression and I wipe my cheeks before turning to look back. He’s more right than he knows. If I’d lost everything I don’t know what I would have done. I’m sure I would have stayed on the island with Eren, but you can never guess for certain until it happens. Just look at how I ended up here in the first place.

“Thank you,” I tell him.

“Anything for you,” he says with a smile, turning his attentions eventually to the cleaning that needs doing. It’s about an hour later and he’s sat up on the roof, brush settled in his lap as he lights up a cigarette. I squint against the sun as I look up at him, ash everywhere.

“That shit’s bad for you, you know? I’m not big on telling people what to do, but I would like you to stick around as long as possible,” I tell him.

Eren smiles sheepishly and shrugs a little, looking at the cigarette with a strange look of confusion on his face. He turns it to look at the end, which has gone out, and he tugs his matches out of his pocket and tries striking one up. Each one snaps or refuses to spark.

“See? It’s a sign,” I chuckle at him as I return to finishing off the cleaning, only a little bit of wiping left on the railings and plant pots. Eren pulls a face but doesn’t complain, discarding his butt into his ash bucket.

“Hey Levi,” he calls from the roof. I answer, but keep focusing on my work. “What you said earlier, wanting to keep me around as long as possible, huh?”

I can practically hear the smile on his little shit eating face.

“So?” I counter.

“You suck at proposals,” he tells me with a laugh.

I pay him little mind, rolling my eyes.

“How would that work anyway? Can elementals get hitched?” I ask, wiping my wet rag along the terracotta pots to clear the grey ashy smears from them, scooting them around to clean underneath too.

“Yeah, they get married all the time. We live like normal humans you know?”

“Did you get married in any of your past lives?” I ask out of curiosity.

“Yeah, my last life I was a woman, I married this guy for like three years… I’ve never really found anyone I want to stay with long term, you know?” Eren explains. I keep quiet and listen away for now. “I guess the whole ‘loving someone to only have to let them go and have them forget all about you, while you keep remembering them’ thing kinda gets to me,” he says, sighing with relief.

“Damn that was great to actually tell someone, you know?” he laughs.

“I get it, it’s a weird position to be in, remembering everything like that.”

There’s a long pause while we both finish what we’re doing.

“Hey Eren, how does becoming an elemental work anyway? You said you and Armin inherited it?”

“Yeah, Armin’s grandfather gave it to him, and my father in that lifetime to me. It’s not always blood family though. Certain people can just wake up one day with the attunement. The passing over is done once a new candidate is ready to take the role. There isn’t exactly any prerequisites other than being aligned,” Eren says with a shrug.

“And how does that ceremony work?” I ask.

“This is going to sound so cheesy,” Eren groans, “but you meet at the main landmark for your element during a solstice. Earth is the spring solstice as it brings good crops, water is the summer solstice for good fishing, air is the autumn solstice to clean up after summer and dry the water’s season out, preparing for the winter solstice, which is fire, to encourage warmth during the cold months.”

I soak up the folklore with interest, pondering over it while Eren climbs down from the roof, bucket in hand.

“Where are these landmarks?”

“Uh, they’re all pretty close actually. The air one is further up the island in a long canyon, funnily it’s like a huge wind tunnel. Fire is the volcano, obviously, earth is the tallest point of this mountain, hence why I live here, and water is actually about a mile out, see that tiny little rock out by the bay?” Eren points over toward the sea and I can spot a speck in the distance out in the water.

“Makes sense, I guess,” I say.

“Why the interest?” Eren asks.

I shrug lightly, not wanting to reveal my thoughts just yet. I’m just glad our open and honest conversation has been improving so much lately. Eren willingly tells me all sorts of stuff about himself now, and if he asks, I’ll gladly share small details about my past. I’m not entirely there yet, I’m not comfortable going into severe detail but I’m progressing a lot.

What Eren told me does stick with me though. I only find opportunity to ask him about it later in the day though. I’ve just finished giving him head, lying between his legs on the bed while we hide out in the dim bedroom from the midday sun.

“So what you said earlier, about not finding someone you wanna spend long term with…” I start carefully. I can sense where Eren’s going to take this.

He doesn’t say anything, opting rather to wait for me to finish.

“What if who you were with was willing to join you… as an elemental?”

Eren’s face is a picture of shock. His eyebrows shoot up and his eyes widen like saucers. As if what I’d just suggested was like taking a shit on Mikasa’s stove. (A one-way ticket to an early grave, guaranteed.) He’s quiet for a long while. Clearly I have thrown him another curveball he wasn’t expecting.

He swallows thickly. “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?” He asks cautiously.

“Well, maybe not immediately, but… I guess I just want you to know I’ve thought about it as an option. I meet all the prerequisites, even if I don’t know which element I’ve aligned to,” I explain, matter of factly.

“Oh, good, that’s good. I- I uh, wow?” Eren resigns to staying quiet again for another long moment before I scoot my head back under the covers to fire up round number two for the afternoon. Eren has approximately zero complaints, muttering out quiet ‘I love you’’s and stroking my hair as his speechlessness descends into pleasured sighs.

There’s one thing left of what Eren told me that is still at the forefront of my memory…

I ‘suck at proposals’ huh?

Just watch Eren, I’ll show you.

Chapter Text

Once the summer season ends in the autumn, it leaves me with a lot of free time to finally work on harvesting my first season of crops. Thankfully a lot of the plants are herbs, and the weather is nothing like back home, so I’ll be able to keep growing them year-round.

I take a few samples of a few different pieces and decide to subject Eren to my first custom batch. The whole idea I’ve had for this farm is to grow ingredients for bespoke herbal teas, and I’m excited to be getting Eren’s opinion.

Following dinner I offer to make him an after-meal tea, spooning the dried mixture into a teapot and letting it sit for at least five minutes so it’s nice and rich and dark.

“Oh,” Eren says after a sip, having let it cool first. “I know this, peppermint?” His guessing makes me smile.

I nod. “What else?”

“Uh,” he takes another sip… “I dunno?”

“Peppermint, rosemary and toasted fennel seeds. It’s good for digestion,” I inform him. Travelling the world has introduced me to many people, cultures and ingredients that I otherwise might never have thought to combine.

“It’s nice, I like it. It’s… different,” he says. I understand herbal tea as I make it isn’t for everyone - minus anything to make it sweeter, I like the plain herbal flavour as it is.

“The packaging is arriving tomorrow. Armin’s gonna bring it with him before dinner,” I tell Eren. “You coming on that hike tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’m up for it. The volcano is pretty stable now so we shouldn’t have any surprises,” he chuckles.

We’re going for a wander out on the volcano tomorrow to look around at the aftermath and to collect a bit of volcanic soil to mix with my compost.

Fast forward to said hike and we’re out just as the sun is rising - bright and early. Another thing I appreciate about him is he’s an early riser, so he doesn’t complain when I drag him out at 5:30am. He drives us up past his house, following The rarely driven rock tracks, the big lumps of rock rolling gently out of the way of the tyres, only to roll back into place as if we never came through.

“That’s never gonna get old,” I say with amusement, head turned to watch the small boulders tumble back into place along the disused road. Eren just chuckles and keeps his attention on his driving.

“I love driving around up here,” he says, taking a turn up and around the next bend and starting to head up the side of the volcano. He doesn’t even need a road to drive wherever the hell he wants. It’s useful.

He drives up to about the halfway mark before propping the truck up on a ledge he creates. A custom volcano-side parking spot.

“Want me to fill the back now or later?” Eren asks as we step out and round the truck, taking in the view of the lagoons and towns below. I look up over the volcano, then back down to my feet. The earth seems different here than at home. The earth seems like a different colour.

There are dark streams of leftover magma, cooled and solidified into eerie immortalised tears, weeping from all over the mountain. Large chunks of melted rock are embedded here and there, sticking out like disorganised sculptures, dotted amongst the burnt husks of carbonised olive trees.

“Levi?” Eren asks again.

“Oh, how about now? We can go for a walk after?”

“Alright.”

Eren casts his gaze around and focuses on the earth, pebbles and rocks vibrating and slowly piling up onto each other. I just watch with fascination as the dirt cumulates and rises high enough to bend over the top of the flatbed, fine volcanic earth dropping into the truck like a strange quarry conveyor - up and over, with no mess.

It takes him about ten minutes to trickle only the finest particles up his makeshift belt until I tell him when to stop.

“Perfect,” I tell him in his own language, making him grin and lean in for a quick kiss. I ask if he’s ready and he nods, following me out to the hillside.

It’s a steady uphill climb to the peak, where it takes us an hour to slowly amble around the top ledge, seeing how close we date creep to the edge to look inside. Despite the cool morning air, the apex ridge feels warmer than the rest of the mountain. It’s gonna take more than a few months to cool that much lava.

On the way back down I lead us down a different way, casually chatting between ourselves. I spot a large, smooth, hardened strip of lava winding down back toward the truck so I head over to it.

“You think it’s cool enough to walk on?” I ask, waving a hand over it. “It doesn’t feel hot,” I say, tapping it lightly. Eren gives me a smirk and I step up onto it, being followed closely.

It’s not even a few steps down and Eren is making a confused noise.

“Levi, I think it’s not cool yet down here, look!” He tells me quickly, pointing at my feet.

I look, to find my footprints glowing a dark red, as if stepping on them dislodged the blackening coat to reveal the molten insides.

“Fuck!” I hiss and jump off as if I were on fire, Eren close behind.

I lean over to look at the soles of my boots, grumbling at melting my better pair, but the rubber soles are in perfect condition.

“Eh?” I’m sure the ground looked red hot. Eren catches my attention again, pointing back to where we’d come from.

There is only one set of red footprints.

“The fuck?” I mutter. Eren leans in for a closer look, holding a hand above the footprint.

“It’s hot,” he says.

I too lean over to hold a hand over it, and the damn footprint cracks under my hand, spitting a few small flames up at my hand. I instinctively draw my hand away but when Eren takes it from me and opens it to inspect for burns, neither of us see a single mar.

“Put your hand on it,” Eren tells me. “See if it’s trying to tell you something,” he insists when I give him a skeptical look.

“What does that even mean?” I’m sure I only thought it, but the question evidently comes out of my mouth.

Eren gives me a pressing look. “Humour me?”

“Fine,” I tell him, slowly reaching out to hold my hand over it. The cool magma reacts, small flames licking up over my hand as my palm makes contact. It feels warm, but doesn’t burn.

It feels like trying to get to know a wild animal that’s only just starting to trust you. One minute it’s okay with you near it, the next minute it could bite.

The bite never comes though, the warm feeling travelling up my hand and through my blood.

I look up at Eren and he looks awestruck, mouth gaping slightly.

“Levi, you’re attuned to fire,” he says intensely as I remove my hand, a perfect handprint left glowing red hot on the magma. I look at my palm, noting no burns or discomfort.

“What does this mean?” I ask.

“It means if you wanted to take up the job, it’s yours.”

I’m silent for a moment as I consider the gravity of it. I could join the reincarnation cycle, remember everything, stay with Eren in a way none of his previous comrades or lovers have been able to. As promising as it is, it’s equally as daunting. It also means remembering my ‘guns blazing’ military past for as long as I do this for.

I don’t suppose it matters much.

“Sit with it a bit,” Eren suggests, to which I readily agree with. “You don’t have to make any decisions straight away,” he emphasises.

“Yeah, of course,” I say, opening and closing my fist, turning my hand to inspect it, the warm sensation still tingling in my palm as it ebbs away.

The walk back down to the mountain is quiet, but I can sense well contained excitement from Eren. This is the first time he’s dated someone with this sort of potential, and while he hasn’t pressured me at all to go along with it, I can tell his ideal choice would be for me to agree to it.

Once back at the farm with the soil unloaded and mixed with the compost, we head indoors. Eren makes tea and I’m sat quietly on the porch upstairs thinking as I look down the mountainside.

The winter solstice is just over a month away.

I could always wait for next year, but every cell in my body is urging me to go with it. Suddenly the past is irrelevant and the only thing that matters is obeying the pull to a call for something greater.

Eren arrives with the tea and we sit together.

“Eren, when you first became an earth elemental, was there this crazy strong pull to do it?” I ask.

Eren hums and nods.

“You’re not going to be able to wait, are you?” He states more than asks.

I shrug. “If it’s this strong to go for it a few hours afterwards I’ll probably go insane waiting a year.”

“Good point,” he says. “You wanna make plans for this year then, just in case? It’ll help with your hip… the healing abilities are useful,” he laughs.

It’s a good idea. I can’t restrain my smile.

“Tell me more,” I ask of him. I know a fair amount already, but I feel the urge and excitement to prepare.

“Well, I guess when it starts out you notice you have a bit of a better understanding of the world,” he starts, telling me all about the various connections it makes to the planet. A wider appreciation for why the planet behaves as it does. What natural disasters are for, how they are determined, what mother nature’s bigger plan is - things I’d never even considered understanding until now.

The whole thing fascinates me, and my tumultuous past is honestly the furthest thing from me in the world. It’s forgotten entirely as I have a new future to focus on - something I didn’t have when I first arrived.

This island has helped so much with that. Eren, Armin and Mikasa, the very way of life ingrained into the people from birth. From a fiery past to a fiery future, I say - bring it on.

The next few weeks go well, and my tea harvests are pretty bountiful for a first attempt. When buying all the plants I’d originally thought I’d bought too many, but now I realise I bought too few. I grow everything outdoors aside from a few of the more delicate plants which prefer the shade - those are lined up in the garage like some sort of dodgy underground basil farm.

Once carefully hand-picked, the herbs are separated onto trays in the yard to gently dry in the sun before living in large ceramic jars where I’m then able to distribute the mixtures into beautiful plated steel square tins with round lids.

The name is fairly simple: ‘Island Tea Co.’, each label beautifully printed with the ingredients. Bespoke mixtures are all hand-written, although I’ve not had many orders for those yet. Mikasa has requested a whole array of teas for the restaurant, promising orders will pick up more once the summer season hits again next year. The tourists are still around, but far fewer - which is to be expected. It’s a lot cooler in the winter here, lingering in the late teens most days.

It’s a week before the winter equinox and I receive a physical letter for once. It’s a surprise since most things these days are electronic.

I take it upstairs with me and curl back into bed beside Eren, who is watching a movie on my laptop. I open up the letter to find a government address from Sina. Concern tries to creep in as my mind almost freaks out thinking it’s some sort of summons back to the military.

I read it quickly to dispel the initial fear and nudge Eren. He hums and looks over, hitting pause.

“What’s up?” he asks.

“I got an invitation to receive a medal in Sina,” I tell him the ‘tl;dr’ version.

“That’s good, right?” he smiles at me, curious.

“Yeah I guess so, it’s signed by the Queen herself, so I guess I kinda have to go?” I shrug. I’ve been to these before and they’re fairly standard. I’ve just never received one from royalty before. I inform Eren of this small detail and he sounds impressed.

“Must be important then, when is it?” he asks.

“January third.” I give it a quick bit of thought… “Wanna come with me?” I ask.

Eren looks surprised, but looks excited as he nods. “I’ve not been to Sina before…”

“It’ll be cold, by the way.”

“How cold?”

“In all your lives, have you ever left this island?” I ask him, scoffing.

“Nope,” he laughs, moving the laptop to the side and curling up against me.

“You’re in for a surprise, then,” I tell him with a smirk, not mentioning it’ll probably be snowing. I wrap an arm around his shoulder and make myself a bit more comfortable.

“How cold is it?” Eren asks in all seriousness.

“Cold.”

“But how cold?” he’s whining now.

“Uh, what’s the coldest day you’ve ever had here?” I ask.

“Uh, the nights go down to single digits sometimes,” he says, curling a leg over one of mine and sprawling into every inch of my personal space.

“Try the minuses,” I say with a smirk, watching his face drop.

“What? No, that’s too cold,” he insists, pulling the sheets up over himself more despite it being fairly warm in here.

“We’ll order you a coat and a hat online, you’ll be fine.”

“I’m going to freeze to death!” Eren whines and I prod him in the ribs, right where he’s most ticklish. He squeals and wraps his arms around mine, trying to stop me, but it’s too late, we’re play-wrestling until we run out of energy, me having pinned him to the bed.

I place a soft kiss on his lips and smile at him.

“You’ll be fine, I’ll be able to keep you warm by then.”

“You better.”

Chapter Text

The wait for the winter solstice is like having an itch you can’t reach, unable to scratch it for weeks.

Ergo it’s annoying as fuck.

The solstice lands four days before my birthday, quite fitting really given it’s a new way of life I’m adopting. I don’t experience any anxiety, rather I’m focused on what needs to be done. It’s like I’m part of a plan now far bigger than just humanity.

Eren has filled me in on what we do on the day, being, later today, and I feel more than ready.

The volcano isn’t the only thing on this island blowing off a little steam now and then though…

I’ve got Eren pressing me against the ensuite counter, hands on my hips as he leaves a trail of kisses and bites down my neck. One thing I’ve noticed about him is any marks I leave on him heal overnight, so he assures me after tomorrow morning I’ll be able to leave the house in a tee and people will be none the wiser of today’s activities.

My pulse is pounding in my ears as he riles me up, eventually turning me around so I’m facing the ugly olive themed tiling. His hands eventually trail downward and I’m hissing at him to move or let me adjust as pain shoots from my hip. Sex has been tricky these past few months as I’ve healed - no position being comfortable.

Having said that it’s been fun trying out new positions to try and find something that works, but nothing has so far. With a frustrated sigh I turn around, met with a pent up looking Eren with his hair stuck to his sweaty forehead.

“It’s okay,” he says, clearly frustrated but unwilling to upset me.

I apologise quietly, muttering something about not having to wait for long.

“We’ll celebrate tonight instead?” I suggest, trailing a hand down to his hardness to stroke some compromise into the tense air between us. He leans in for a kiss and gently grips my sides as he spreads his legs, allowing me to wrap both of my hands around both of our cocks, not wanting to waste the momentum.

As short lived as our sex life has been lately, I’m excited to have it behind me.

Before I know it it’s time. We’re back up the side of the volcano and my feet are walking on their own. It’s like a pull from deep within my chest, leading me forward without hesitation, dragging me up the volcano to where I’m meant to be. I barely register Eren falling behind, leaving me to do what it is I must.

My senses begin to feel dull and my surroundings narrow to a singular focus: a small peak on the lip of the crater. It feels like there’s an external force drawing me near, instructing me on what to do, without my mind’s input. It’s like I’ve been hooked up to a set of strings and the puppeteer I’m unaware of is taking me through the motions.

I take a final step up onto the ridge of the crater and the hot air blows through my hair, almost knocking me back. I look down over the molten throat of the volcano and carefully step up to the edge, taking in the sight. The crater at the top of the volcano glows red hot, spurts of fire erupting from the dark surface where the air has cooled the lava resting at the top.

From Eren’s point of view he’ll only be able to catch a glimpse of me looking down into the volcano before falling forward into it. There’s an invisible rope piercing through my chest, pulling me to act, pulling me so strongly I can’t ignore the call to action.

The fall is unlike any enlistment I’ve experienced before. It feels like a lifetime as well as instant - simultaneously. The hot air blasts past my face, the heat enveloping me and welcoming me into its embrace. The last thing I remember is everything turning white in a roaring rush of flame.

The next thing I know is I’m lying against a pile of molten rubble some twenty metres from where I fell, a red hot trail along the mountain in my wake. Eren is running over, grinning like an idiot.

I look down at my hands. The veins usually blue on the backs are now glowing orange, and what scraps of clothing remain on me are charred and burnt. My nakedness doesn’t really register until I spot Eren’s eyes drifting down my body. A quick check down at myself confirms most of my clothing bar a small piece of my underwear has all been burnt off.

My skin feels hot, but not burnt, and my whole body aches as I try to move it into a standing position. It takes a minute to get used to, but I’m up and Eren is nearby, avoiding standing on the melted rock surrounding me.

“You alright?” he says.

I feel more than alright. I feel a strong connection to the earth, like a voice in my head I’ve been ignoring for years, a subtle guiding whisper, telling me what I need to do. It’s overwhelming and enlightening all at once - like access to a greater plan, a different source of energy and knowledge has been unlocked.

When I look up at Eren, he’s got his phone pointed at me, presumably either taking a photograph or recording it.

“You get that on video?” I ask.

“Yeah, figured you might want to see your Titan,” he says with a smirk, throwing me a thumbs up. Is that what I just did?

I walk over to him and the burnt pieces of clothing crumble and flake away from my skin. I lean in and he plays what he’d recorded.

There’s a small figure of me falling into the volcano and an earthy rumble shakes the camera, moments later a large molten red hand pulling itself from the crater, the whole thing about ten metres tall and sprouting flames from every joint. This must have been where I blanked, the titan staggering out over the rocks and melting the rocks before hunching over and turning back into something resembling a human, leaving me lying there to come back around.

“That’s so cool,” I say softly, holding Eren’s phone and pausing the video to zoom in on myself. “That’s me?”

“It sure is. I always knew you were pretty hot,” Eren laughs.

I give him a little shove and he smiles at me, tentatively touching my arms to see if I’ve cooled down yet. He hisses, so I guess I’m still too warm to touch. On the walk back I cool down enough to get in the jeep without burning anything and Eren starts telling me how he initially started learning how to control his abilities. Apparently mine are somewhat more important to grasp quickly, given he doesn’t fancy waking up in a burning house - and neither do I.

Playing with it over the next couple of days isn’t difficult. Given how I feel that my mind has been awoken to ancient information, controlling fire comes no differently to me than breathing does a newborn baby. Like how the heart knows to pump blood, I too understand innately what to do.

Let’s just say that with the added benefit of regeneration, my birthday sex is the best sex I’ve had to date. Nothing hurts, we’re able to go for hours without getting tired, and I commend Eren’s strength. How he was able to hold back as much as he did, I’ll never know. Finally now though, I can keep up and even wear him out most times. All of that practice trying to work around my dodgy hip have provided us with a plethora of options to choose from.

Eren particularly likes it when I pin him up against the wall. It’s honestly the best position if you want to go deeper than humanly possible.

Oh the noises he makes.

“Eren,” I give him a shove, curling up against his back on the morning of our departure to Sina. We’re going two days before the ceremony and returning two days after, for a total of four days. “Eren get up.”

He groans sleepily, taking hold of one of my hands and keeping me in place, hugging him from behind. “Five more minutes,” he says half into his pillow. I decide to both entertain him and speed up his snooze timer by kissing his neck gently, hooking one of my legs around his and pressing my captured hand against his bare chest. He hums quietly but doesn’t resist when I move said hand to brush across his stomach and down to his underwear.

“Sure you don’t want to get up? This guy seems to want to,” I emphasise the last part with a slight squeeze to the top of one of his inner thighs.

It doesn’t take long at all after that for Eren to grow impatient and roll over on me for a morning round, leaving us both in a very docile state for our departure.

We don’t have to worry about checking in much luggage, each of us only taking a single carry on suitcase and a backpack. Eren gives me a look when I tell him to have his coat ready and an extra couple of layers for when we land, and he’s quick to obey when we get to the other side and the landscape is painted with a white he’s totally not used to.

Eren has to take my hand and squeeze it to get my attention as we land and wait for the go ahead to get up and leave. I’ve flown back into Sina so many times I’ve lost count, but I’ve never felt like I’m going to a foreign destination.

I look to him, awaiting his question of whether I’m alright. When it comes I assure him I’m fine. “It’s just a bit weird is all. It doesn’t feel like home anymore,” I admit, squeezing his hand in return. The seatbelt signs click off and they give us the all clear to leave the plane.

It may not feel like where I belong anymore, but I still know this city like the back of my hand. I still have a lot of contacts, and thankfully the military offered to organise a place for Eren and I to stay, as well as a car to use for our trip. The first place I take us is the army HQ, to pick up the itinerary for the ceremony. I’m not greeted with anyone that I know, but everyone seems to recognise me.

Eren nudges me and whispers “you didn’t tell me you were famous,” to which I scoff at and roll my eyes. To make matters worse in the main courtyard of the complex is a large statue of me and my squad saluting, covered with a thin layer of snow. My feet take me out there to gawk at it, Eren following closely behind. He bends over to brush the snow from the plaque at the base of the statue and reads it aloud.

“Captain Levi Ackerman, Eld Jinn, Oluo Bozado, Petra Ral and Gunther Schultz. Survey Corps Special Operations Team…”

I brush away some of the snow and find the base of the memorial is littered with coins. Eren leans in and asks what it means. I point to each type of coin.

“1 is to pay your respects, 5 is if you trained with them, 10 if you served with them, and 25 if you were there when they died,” I explain, fishing through a pocket and picking out a few large silver coins, resting one at the base of each of the deceased soldiers’ statues. Thankfully there aren’t any coins beneath my statue. Presumably because I’m not dead yet.

“You were there…” Eren says softly once he realises what I’m doing. I nod as I stand and link my arm with his.

“You ready to go see Sina?” I ask with a sombre smile. Eren takes my change of subject and rolls with it, allowing me to take him out and show him where I lived most of my life.

The streets are slippery and we end up getting cold, huddling inside a tea shop to warm up and then heading back out again. We make snow angels, throw balls at each other and even build a snowman, and for a few hours I feel like a kid again. It doesn’t help that when I get excited my hands warm up and any snow I’m touching starts to melt, resulting in cold wet hands.

Eren hits me square in the face with a snowball and I run to tackle him. He’s too slow on the dodge, and we end up landing with a heavy thud into the frozen grass, uncaring of the mess we’re making of each other as we try and wrestle the other into the snow. It ends with me straddling Eren’s hips and pinning him to the ground, grinning like a child and panting heavily with the exertion.

Eren closes the distance and kisses me - I return it fiercely, loosening my grip on his wrists. That’s all he needs to try and take advantage, but I’m stronger than the little shit and pin him back down to the ground, biting his lip as means of punishment. He laughs against my cheek and I fall to rest my head on his shoulder, my own shoulders shaking with amusement as I hold back a laugh of my own.

“Levi, I’m all wet,” Eren complains half heartedly.

I lean back and take a look at him, smiling a little. It’s now I realise I don’t ever want things to be different. Not for the foreseeable future, at least.

“Marry me Eren.”

Naturally he looks surprised, and at this point I give him his arms back and sit back on top of him. He gapes at me and I patiently await his answer.

“Aren’t you supposed to have like, a ring, and kneel down and everything?” Eren chuckles.

“I won’t ask again,” I tell him, trying my best to look as serious as possible.

“So romantic, Levi,” he laughs, pulling me back down into the snow to give me another kiss. “Of course I’ll marry you,” he says.

Okay, so it wasn’t planned, and I didn’t have a ring prepared, but I knew I wanted to do it, and Eren said yes, so I don’t suppose the ‘proper’ way of doing things really matters in our case.

We agree that after the ceremony I’ll take him out shopping. Eren insists on matching rings. He wants me to feel just as special as he does, said clinging to my arm.

This city used to mean so many things for me. A break from fighting, constant tension of waiting to be called to battle, military political bullshit, my upbringing lingering around every corner. None of that feels relevant anymore. I’ve got Eren by my side and my past is irrelevant, my new role in this world set out before me to keep me focused on the future instead.

Eren is practically dragging me out the door when our car arrives for the ceremony and none other than Hange Zoe is outside waiting beside the police escorted convoy.

“Holy shit, look who it is,” they say as they approach for a hug. It’s a temporary struggle for air before I am released and my hand is firmly shook. Hange is looking alive and well, still serving by the looks of things. I congratulate them on the extra stripes and introduce Eren to Hange as my fiance, resulting in Eren and I exchanging a small smile.

Hange talks the entire way to the castle and I can feel Eren’s tiredness radiating from my side the longer the trip takes.

Once we arrive, we pass through all the formalities with ease. I’m dressed in my military formal suit, complete with decorative sword at my hip and my large dark green trench coat draped over my shoulders. Eren has a smart black suit on with a borrowed army coat on.

It looks like the whole city has gathered to the castle for the event, and I suddenly can’t help but believe this might be for more than just a medal.

I end up having to wait, the ceremony starting without delay.

Historia comes out adorned in her white formal gowns, luscious furs lining her cloak and small crown on her immaculately pinned blonde hair. It’s still unusual seeing her in her full regal glory - I’m so used to her being the scrawny kid fighting alongside the trainee recruits in disguise.

She greets me with a warm smile and I bow accordingly. She goes through with the formal procedure of both awarding me with the country’s highest military decoration, as well as knighting me and gifting me a sword. Eren doesn’t miss how we look at one another and quizzes me about her when we’re back to the quiet of our hotel.

I fill him in on all the shenanigans that ensued when she was a soldier, involving us having to ghost on our own government and also me grabbing her by her shirt and shaking some sense into her.

Despite being mortified that I slapped Mother Nature and physically shook some sense into her, Eren takes great pleasure in calling me Sir for the next couple of days. We have some time too to catch up with what few members of the military are both alive and in town at the same time as me. I make sure to invite them to Shiganshina when the cold weather gets to them too much.

Despite how much Eren has adored the snow, our time eventually comes to an end and we head back to the airport, sleeping our way through a four and a half hour flight back home.

We get home late in the evening and when I step out of the truck, the pleasant smell following rain on a warm day hits my senses and I feel at home. If there’s one thing this whole experience has taught me, it’s that worrying about the past is pointless so long as you focus on improving the present.

If you look at where I am now, compared with where I was, you’d never guess that I ever lived a miserable day in my life...

...and I have Eren to thank for that.