Chapter Text
Ho Life©
Ult. Hyung: gueSs who tf just landed a role in a major box office movie
Trashbag: woah idk what a hard question
Saltywhip: is it hoseok
Trashbag: yeah it probably is since hyung is really amazing
Mochass: dont forget that TAE IS A THEATRE MAJOR
Trashbag: yoooooo then my bby tae may have just landed a movie spot
Mochass: *ugly cries*
Taetae: aww thanks guys
Hoebi: youre amazing tae! To even get recognized by seokjin hyung the lizard is a big achievement!~
Saltywhip: ^
Mr. Kim: guys i think seokjin is talking about himself
Ult. Hyung: you know what
Ult. Hyung: fuck all of you
Ult. Hyung: youre all not getting dinner or ANYTHING FROM ME *except for joon for one and true support and love whom i wholeheartedly appreciate
Mochass: EXtRA af but
Mochass: wow thats improvement in terms of stability aside from the rest of the text
Hoebi: omG hyung thats such a big step in your relationship! Im so happy for you guys
Trashbag: what black magic did you use on jin hyung
Saltywhip: wtf did u make Seokjin eat
Mr. Kim: what makes u think i physically gave him him something
Mr. Kim: to eat
Mochass: *dicc you mean
Saltywhip: you thirsty hoe
Mochass: what can i say
Mochass: I've been around hobi hyung too much
Hoebi: excuse me
Hoebi: BITCH YOU ARE THE DEFINITION OF HOE, HOE
Trashbag: lmao hoe hoe
Taetae: hoe
Taetae: MERRY
Trashbag: CHRISTMAS
Taetae: ilysm kook
Trashbag: me too soo much <33
Trashbag: but your name has hoe in it hyung
Ult. Hyung: that is true child
Hoebi: stfu
Hoebi: and christmas passed
Ult. Hyung: i love it when i get appreciated by my children
Ult. Hyung: fucking ingrates
Saltywhip: we arent your children
Mochass: ^
Trashbag: hyung u have no children therefore no appreciation
Hoebi: ouch
Mr. Kim: yikes
Saltywhip: at least he called you hyung
Ult. Hyung: JOON YOU BUFFOON HELP ME OUT HERE
Mochass: lmao that deadass rhymed
Hoebi: joon the buffoon
Saltywhip changed Mr. Kim's name to Joon the buffoon™
Trashbag: sgajsjxhsjaj hyung-
Joon the buffoon™: can the grim reaper please take my head out of my body, throw it into the river, then dispose of my carcass by flagellation and hold my funeral by burning at the pyre
Mochass: i only understood some of that now i feel like a buffoon
Hoebi: big mood
Taetae: cheeseburgers go best with fries wendy, idk what u mean by cheeseburgers are fucking the greatest with mashed potatoes bitch
Mochass: boi im choking wtf u saying
Mochass: y u talking with wendy bout that jfc
Taetae: wait wrong chat sorry just dont mind it but-
Taetae: ouch
Taetae: JOON THE BUFFOON WTH IM CACKLING
Joon the buffoon™: no i dont need you too
Joon the buffoon™: help me jinnie
Ult. Hyung: sorry jtb™
Ult. Hyung: if you can't beat em join em
Saltywhip: bitch got skrted in like 5 mins
Taetae: top ten anime betrayals
Mochass: omai wa mo shindeiru
Hoebi: NANI?!
Saltywhip: living memes jfc
Trashbag: woah shitt
Saltywhip: what is it now
Ult. Hyung: tell us & spill tea
Trashbag: i think i mightve stepped in bird shit
Mochass: how dare you step on your family member
Trashbag: are u saying im bird crap
Mochass: is my name leonardo de caprio
Trashbag: no
Ult. Hyung changed Mochass' name to Leo
Trashbag: now it is
Leo: well idk where im getting at so youll live all your life with the suspense of not knowing what i truly meant
Hoebi: im in my room and i can hear this bitch cackling he means ur crap
Leo: HOW DARE U EXPOSE ME LIKE THAT
Taetae: top ten anime betrayals pt. 2
Ult. Hyung: y are yall so salty today i thought that was yoongis job
Joon the buffoon™: ^
Trashbag: its my job too hyung
Ult. Hyung: last time i checked garbage didn't speak
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Jungkookie :)
Jungkook: hey babe i heard u dropped by dance pratice today
Taehyung: yeah i did
Taehyung: i saw u dance and sweat
Taehyung: AND I BUSTED LIKE THE FATTEST NUT EVER
Taehyung: i literally squealed and fainted in my spot like 50 times kookie youre amazing
Jungkook: awww hyung im not! I really appreciate it though
Jungkook: thanks for coming
Taehyung: who tf would i be if i didnt come
Jungkook: still greatest boy alive and the one true love of my life
Taehyung: OML SHUT UP YOU SAP
Jungkook: *kisses through screen*
Jungkook: ahhh i really wish i could kiss u rn
Jungkook: and kiss u every second of the day :)
Taehyung: jeOn JunGkooK!!!!!
Taehyung: ayyyyyyyy shut up ilyt sooooooo much
Taehyung: but why are you extra greasy today ·w·?
Jungkook: idk
Jungkook: i just love my baby and i feel like i should be extra sappy about it
Taehyung: :""""""
Jungkook: ive been wondering for a while now, but when is your next gallery showcase?
Jungkook: bby u said late nov to early dec
Taehyung: awww thank you kook for remembering!!
Taehyung: it got pushed back to jan lol but for compensation they gave me a bigger venue!
Jungkook: youre amazing baby
Taehyung: aww u too sweet bun