Archive of Our Own ^beta

Keith was fairly sure he was having the worst week of his life.

It all started when he had arranged to go visit the paladins for a few days. He missed his friends terribly, spending time with them was one of the things he craved most. He forgot to take into account the fact that he now looked like a Galra.

Shiro had come to pick him up from the blades, and Keith was surprised when he heard the soft gasp from Shiro when he got a full look at Keith.

"You look... different." He said, as though unsure of what to say. Keith truly couldn't blame him, not really. He would be shocked too if one of his closest friends suddenly looked like a completely different species. Especially when said friend looked like the species that held you captive for a year, forced you to fight against your will for the entertainment of others, amputated your arm, and replaced it with a deadly robotic one.

"Yeah... I do, I guess, But look, a tail!" Keith exclaimed, swishing the extra appendage in demonstration. He was trying to ignore the moment of tense awkwardness, trying to make it seem like he was the exact same as before. It didn't work, for Shiro was silent throughout the journey to the Castle of Lions, glancing nervously at Keith every few minutes, as though he could strike at any moment.

No one reacted any better, really. Hunk had lunged in for one of his signature bear hugs, and Keith had been so excited because he loved Hunk's hugs. They were warm and enveloped him, like a safe hidey-hole in a large house. But Hunk had taken one look at Keith's new form and pulled back abruptly, instead patting his head a few times in greeting (Keith would later learn that Hunk had merely been surprised by the new appearance, as Hunk spent a good chunk of the third morning playing with his fur, but at that point, Keith couldn't think that anything could fix the hollow feeling in his chest). Keith tried not to let his disappointment show, but he couldn't help the way his ears drooped slightly. Pidge had hugged him, but not nearly for as long as he would have liked, or for as long as Pidge normally would have hugged him. Lance had taken one look at his fangs and stayed a meter away at all times.

"Just don't bite me. I have cats at home. I know what their teeth can do." He said. Keith felt his ears pin back in anger, a low growl rumbling in his throat. He couldn't believe that Lance had just compared him to an animal!

"I'm not uncivilized, Lance. I'm still Keith. I just look... more Galra." Keith tried to explain, but it was clear that Lance wasn't listening. Allura had taken one look at him and walked out of the room. Coran was the only one who didn't treat him any differently. He still patted his back roughly and grinned at him in such a welcoming manner that Keith wanted to cry. Finally, someone was treating him normally.

He went through the entire five days dealing with tense looks, soft reprimands when he slacked off of training, or napped when they should have been training. He couldn't bring himself to stomach any meals after the second day, not when he had to deal with tense looks cast in his direction, not when the food goo was an awful texture against his rough tongue, tasting like nothing but the air he breathed.

He laid awake at night in his room, longing for the comfort of his nest, his pack. He wanted the warmth of all-night cuddles and nuzzles to wake him up instead of the cold, stifling blanket and a blaring alarm waking him up.

Hardly any sleep, no naps that he had become accustomed to, little food, and a tense atmosphere made for an awful visit. Maybe they just hated him now. He couldn't blame them at all.

-

When he had gotten back to the headquarters, he didn't think he deserved to be coddled by his pack. He was the reason his friends had been so tense, he was angry because of a lack of sleep, and he was starving but he couldn't bring himself to get up to eat. Not when he knew his friends hated him. He stayed in the room that he had inhabited before permanently moving in with his pack, surrounded by his blankets. He felt an itch beneath his skin, encouraging him to construct a nest, but he didn't want to.

Nothing could have compared to the emotional pain he felt. Not Shiro disappearing for a year, assumed dead by everyone on Earth, not finding out that he had Galra blood, and not even Shiro disappearing again. He truly didn't think that he friends cared about him anymore.

His pack was worried sick about him.

Thace checked in nearly every hour, conversing from outside when Keith made it clear he didn't want him to enter the room. He didn't think he could handle it. Antok invited him for training every day, in the morning and after the lunch period. Ulaz would stop by and leave a plate of food by the door for Keith to retrieve when he was ready, but Keith never did. He still couldn't bring himself to eat even when he felt his stomach protesting. Kolivan would stop by whenever he had the time, trying to coax Keith out of the room and getting nowhere most of the time.

-

Knock, Knock, Knock.

Keith woke up to steady knocking on his door. A quick glance at his clock told him that it was mid-morning.

"Yes?" Keith called, just loud enough to be heard outside of the door.

"Are you alright in there, Keith?" Oh, it was Regris. Keith smiled a bit at the thought of his sibling-like pack member.

"I'm fine, Regris, don't worry." He called, sitting up. Regris was silent for a few moments.

"I don't believe you. If you were okay, you would be in the nest with all of us." He argued, and Keith really couldn't argue with that. "Can I come in?" was Regris' next question. Keith rested his head on his pillow, staring up at the ceiling,

"Yeah, I guess you can." He called after a long pause. The door slid open and Regris stepped inside, moving to Keith's bedside.

"You really aren't okay, Keith. You look dead. When was the last time you slept?" He asked, running a claw through Keith's hair, rubbing gently at the large ear. Dark bags were obviously present beneath Keith's eyes, a stark contrast to the paper-pale skin beneath the layer of purple fur.

"The first night I spent with my friends, I guess," Keith said, shrugging a bit. Regris' hand paused in shock, before a low growl broke the silence. It definitely didn't come from Regris, so it wasn't hard to figure out that it was Keith's stomach voicing its displeasure to anything that would listen.

"And the last time you ate?" Regris asked. He recalled Ulaz being worried sick when Keith's plates of food were left untouched for the last few days. Keith shrugged again, turning onto his side so that he was facing Regris.

"Second day?" Keith said, his voice unsure. Regris sighed a bit and gently pulled Keith into a sitting position.

"Why, Keith? What happened? You can talk to me, to any of us. We could help you." He said, nuzzling against Keith's cheek. "We care about you, you're our family." Keith paused when he heard the words, leaning his head on Regris' shoulder.

"Just... a bad week. No one really reacted to me looking like a Galra really well." Keith explained. Regris nodded a bit and rubbed Keith's back. He didn't push for details, though he knew there was more to the story. If there was one thing he had learned about Keith, it was that pushing for details before Keith was ready to share them made the kit clam up and shy into himself. It was best to wait patiently for Keith to be ready to share the details.

"They... they were really tense and awkward. I don't really like food goo so I didn't want to eat. They were all staring at me while I ate too... it was really uncomfortable. I couldn't sleep without the nest, it didn't feel right. They didn't hug me or touch me at all, even though they know that I love hugs. Lance even compared me to a cat!" Keith explained after a few minutes. Regris couldn't resist his curiosity.

"What's a cat?" He asked. Keith giggled a bit and reached over, grabbing a small figurine off of one of the shelves. It was a cat, standing tall and proud.

"This is a cat. They're an Earth animal. Most of the smaller ones are domesticated and kept as pets, and the bigger ones are pretty awesome to look at." Keith said. Regris nodded a bit as he studied the figurine, as though it were a vital piece of data.

"That's awful, Keith. I'm sorry that happened to you, but you don't need to push us away. Do you want to go get some food? Then we can go back to the nest and watch some of your,,, movies?" He says, his voice unsure about the name of the films., brightening when Keith nods encouragingly.

"That sounds good." Keith said softly, yawning a bit.

"Are you okay with being picked up? You look dead on your feet." Regris said. Keith nodded, prompting the larger of the two to scoop Keith up like a toddler.

Its lunchtime. Many Galra are gather in and around the dining hall, their voices much to loud for Keith's sleep-deprived, already distressed body. What were they talking about? The fact that Keith couldn't seem to keep anyone good in his life? He starts to whimper, covering his ears as tears fill his eyes. Regris notices fairly quickly and starts to lightly bounce Keith, going to the nest instead. Keith starts to cry, thinking that they weren't going to get food. Regris gently rubs his back.

"Shh, Keith, it is okay. You were overwhelmed by the voices, so I am going to have Thace bring a plate of food here instead, okay? What do you normally have for lunch?" Regris said, setting him down in the nest and watching as Keith starts to rearrange blankets to his liking.

"I normally have a frutrub filet, green truvey seeds, and ilernt cream." Keith said. Frutrub filets reminded Keith a bit of pork, green truvey seeds reminded him of corn, or green beans, and ilernt cream was like a very thick pudding that tasted like caramel. Regris nodded and pulled out his datapad, sending a quick message to Thace with Keith's requests and making sure to ask him to double the portions, knowing that Keith must be famished. he sets his datapad in front of Keith.

"You can pick what we watch, Keith." He says. Keith grins and picks his favorite movie, Harry Potter. Of course, he started at the first one so that Regris can have context.

"I've always loved this series. You'll love it, I promise." He said excitedly as the beginning theme starts up. Regris watches for a few minutes, a bit confused about how Keith could love a movie about a boy who lived in a cupboard, before a thought crosses his mind. "Keith, are you hurt in any way? Do we need to go visit Ulaz?" He asked, worried about the idea that Keith could have been injured this entire time and he didn't even know. Keith was so private about most things, it haad hardly crossed Regris' mind that he could be hurt. Keith shrugged a bit. "I mean, my claws keep cutting into me when I grab my arms or legs, but I guess I just have to deal with that, don't I?" Keith says, truly certain that Galra didn't clip their nails shorter. Regris chuckled fondly, patting Keith's head as he grabbed something that resembled a file and a pair of nail clippers that he had seen people use on dogs (he had worked in a dog grooming place for quick cash, but he was never allowed to do much other than brush the pets. He would always mess up and accidentally hurt the animals. In his defense, though, he hadn't known that you couldn't cut past a certain place on a dog's nail or it would bleed). "We don't have to live with it, Keith. I'm actually surprised you haven't said something sooner, as long as these things are." Regris said, carefully clipping at the nails until they were short, before filing them into a blunt point. "Do you want nail decor?" He asked. Keith tilted his head in confusion. "Nail decor?" He asked, his eyes widening when he sees the bottles of nail polish that Regris shows him to demonstrate what he is referring to. Keith nods quickly, his eyes glued on the bottle of crimson red nail polish that was calling out to him. He can't help but reach out and try to grab the container right out of Regris' hand. He had always wanted to paint his nails! Regris smiled and held firm to the polish, though he knew which one Keith was trying to grab. "My, someone is excited. Do you like having your nails painted? He asked kindly, uncapping the bottle and grabbing Keith's hand, running the applicator smoothly over the freshly cut claw. Keith shrugs, practically bouncing in place from how excited he was. "I actually haven't done it before. I've always wanted to, though!" He said, grinning widely at the cold feeling running over the claw. Regris paused for a moment in confusion. "Why not? If you wanted to, why didn't you do that?" He asked, looking at Keith in confusion. He was so used to doing what he liked for himself, what made him feel happy, that not doing so was unfathomable in his eyes, Keith's ears drooped a bit. "I was never supposed to. It was a girl's thing, and I'm a guy. And then I got to Voltron, and the only person who had nail polish was Lance. I thought, 'hey, if he can wear nail polish, then maybe I can too' but then he started calling me mullethead and I didn't want to be made fun of more. I was always the mullethead, and the loner, and then I was ther Galra." Keith said, his eyes filling with tears and before he knew it, salty water was spilling down his cheeks. "Why can't they just accept me for who I am?" He asked, his voice shaky. Regris frowned, looking over helplessly when he hears Thace come in with food. "If they can not accept you, kit, it is their problem. And as for something being a male or female specific thing, it doesn't really work that way for Galra. We are an all-male species, aside from hybrids, so it really wouldn't cause a second glance if you started wearing nail decor. You could wear the most sparkly and extravagant dress and most Galra would probably just think, 'oh, he likes that dress. He just wants to feel nice.' My point is, nothing on Earth makes sense, and most of it doesn't matter to us." Thace said, sitting next to Keith with a plate of food and a large glass of water. "Now, eat. You must be famished, you poor kit." He added, handing the food to Keith. Keith brightened up when he saw the food, clutching onto it like he was sure someone would take it away. He took large bites, only slowing down when choked a bit on a piece of food and decided that he didn't want to experience that again. It doesn't take long for the other members of his pack to figure out that he's finally ventured out of his room. They come in to greet him, hardly noticing the smooth sheen of red on his claws. He hears purrs and comforting rumbles all around him, soothing him into a half-asleep state. He glances at the now dried nail polish and can't help but grin. For the first time in years he felt beautiful. Its been a long time wince he's thought that about himself. He's always looked in the mirror and seen his flaws, things that he thought people didn't like about him. He looks over at the datapad and whines. "Regris, we missed the best part of the movie! We have to rewind it now!" He states, making his pack pause and look at him, fond chuckles escaping them. Keith had his pack, and that's all that really mattered. For now, everything would be okay. He couldn't determine what the future would look like, but everything was okay right now. And that's all that mattered.