Archive of Our Own ^beta

§

When Ryan says, “Hey, I’m going back to spend a week with my family, come with me?”, Shane barely blinks before he answers, “Yeah, sure, when?”

At no point does it occur to him that it’s a milestone he should be concerned about.

§

Ryan and Shane don’t ‘start dating’ so much as continue on as they always have with the unspoken agreement of being exclusive with each other. They don’t talk about it and it’s never defined as a ‘relationship’ so they don’t call each other boyfriends or partners or any kind of romantic term but they do everything couples do, including their new favourite hobby which is sex. There isn’t a significant marker to the shift; one random day it goes from ‘hangin’ out almost every day because we’re bros’ to ‘hangin’ out almost every day because we’re more’. They don’t even notice.

If Shane had to pinpoint a moment, it would be this:

They’re recording another episode for Supernatural where they spend the night and it goes the way it always does: Ryan is too scared to sleep properly, Shane keeps waking up because Ryan gets spooked by every creak and breeze, and by the time the sun rises, they’re both dead tired and ready for a real bed. Shane can hear Ryan shuffling around, always the first to clear up in his haste to escape their would-be ghostly hosts, but Shane feels so lethargic that he stays rolled up in his sleeping bag.

“Shane? Hey, you’re not up yet, man?”

Shane doesn’t move or even open his eyes. He hears Ryan’s footsteps approaching him and the flop of Ryan settling beside him.

“Dude, it’s time to go.”

Shane grumbles into the fabric of his sleeping bag. Ryan laughs, a bright sound that lightens Shane’s mood despite his exhaustion.

“You can sleep when we’re back at the hotel,” Ryan tells him. “C’mon, the others are gonna be wondering why we’re not back yet.”

Shane groans and wiggles. His head is still mostly tucked out of sight, only tufts of his hair and a bit of his forehead visible to the open air.

“Shane, seriously. You can’t want to sleep here.”

Shane doesn’t, but moving out of the warm cocoon he’s made isn’t a fun prospect either. He hopes the disgruntled noise he makes conveys that.

Ryan sighs over his head and there’s a pause in which Shane wakes up a little more. He’s still so sleepy that he doesn’t startle when a hand settles into the strands of his hair, fingers gentle as they comb through the sleep-tousled mess. Shane makes another, much happier noise and arches a little bit into the contact.

“You’re such a pain,” Ryan says, sounding fond.

There’s some rustling and then dry lips press against Shane’s temple, just by his hairline, lingering for a couple of moments before both hand and lips disappear. It makes Shane finally surface from his sleeping bag and he blinks sleepily up at Ryan, who beams down with that familiar, soft look in his eyes.

“The Sasquatch has emerged from hibernation,” he teases.

“Ugh,” says Shane.

“Get up, you idiot, and let’s go back already. I don’t want to spend anymore time here than I have to.”

Much later, when the crew’s back in LA and go their separate ways for a couple of days off, Shane tugs Ryan close for what he doesn’t realise is the first time. Ryan leans into his side without even looking up from his phone where he’s fiddling with the Uber app. Shane presses an absent-minded kiss into the side of his head.

“I’ve gotta go back to my place first to do laundry and pack some clothes for your place,” he mentions. “I’ll bring dinner.”

“Just do the laundry at mine,” Ryan replies. “And make sure you get Chipotle this time.”

And just like that, it’s their new normal.

§

Eight months later, their apartments have become one split home they randomly switch between, their friends both shared and otherwise automatically note them down as a pair when making plans, and Shane starts getting laid regularly. He never finds it anything but natural the first time he pulls Ryan in for a real kiss, the first time they fall into bed together, or even when his groceries start including the special type of dog food for the pups he ends up co-parenting (one of which they adopt together). He calls Ryan ‘baby’ but not boyfriend, Ryan’s arm around his waist becomes a fast and familiar weight when they’re out and about, and they always laugh off any offer to join a couples’ video. Shane never takes the time to think about what he and Ryan are doing. He’s happy, Ryan’s happy, and that’s really all he cares about.

It’s why when Ryan asks him to come along for a family visit, Shane doesn’t think twice before saying yes.

“This is going to be the first time I’m meeting them,” Shane muses, “Should I bring something?”

“Nah,” Ryan says. “My mom would think you were trying to like buy their affections or something.”

“Why would I do that?” says Shane, bewildered.

“I’ve seen some crash and burns in my house, dude. If it’s you, though, you might actually need it.”

“I’m a genuine pleasure and your parents are going to adore me.”

Ryan rolls his eyes but the gesture’s belied by his smile. “And you wonder why I keep saying you have a big head.”

They decide to head off to the Bergara house on Saturday morning instead of Friday night because they both want to get as much work cleared up as possible so a mountain won’t amass after their week off. Ryan’s brother, Jake, visits and spends a couple of nights at Ryan’s place and therefore joins them for the drive up to his parents’ place. It’s the ideal situation for everyone because with Ryan losing the coin toss and having to drive, Shane doesn’t have to be the one stuck ensuring their dogs don’t somehow jump out the window. It’s honestly one of the most relaxing car trips he’s had in a while.

A couple of hours in they stop for a break and while Ryan heads off, Jake asks Shane, “Are you nervous?”

Shane, in the midst of scolding Bubbles and Blossom for fighting over a toy, breaks off his lecture and looks up.

“Nervous?” he repeats, confused. “About what?”

“About meeting the whole family, duh.”

“Why would I be nervous?”

Jake blinks at him. “No reason, I guess,” he says, after a pause.

Shane’s saved from replying – thank God because he has no idea what he could’ve said – when Ryan returns with two drinks in hand; the coffee he hands to his brother. Shane accepts his water bottle gratefully and pulls Ryan under his arm. Ryan wraps his own around Shane’s waist the way he always does and uses his other hand to uncap the bottle for Shane. While Shane takes a sip, he snuggles closer, almost sagging against him.

“You okay, baby?” Shane asks, reaching up to run his fingers through Ryan’s hair under his cap. “I can take over driving if you want to take a nap.”

“I’m okay to drive until we get there,” Ryan says. “You drive when we’re heading back.”

“You’re not going to see me complaining. That means I don’t have to watch the kids.”

“On that note,” Jake says, making a face, “I’m gonna take ‘the kids’ for a walk.”

“We’re heading off in 15 minutes,” Ryan calls after him. “If you’re not back by then, I’ll leave your ass behind.”

“That’s okay, I’ll have my nieces with me!” Jake shouts back with a grin clear in his voice.

Shane hides his own smile and offers the water bottle to placate Ryan’s grumbling.

“He’s going to be teasing me about that for days,” Ryan complains.

“I’ll let him have this,” says Shane. “God knows you’ll find something to counterattack with.”

“I’m definitely going to get him back.”

Shane smiles and kisses the side of Ryan’s head right below the rim of his cap, which is his favourite gesture because it’s sweet and has the bonus result of making Ryan relax against his side.

“You’re kind of tense,” Shane remarks. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Ryan says with a sigh. He turns his face to nuzzle his nose against Shane’s collarbone, something Shane finds absurdly cute but knows better than to say so. “I guess I’m a bit worried about going home.”

“Why?” Shane says, surprised. “You love visiting your parents. Don’t think I’ve forgotten how many times I’ve had to babysit the kids on my own because you go back so often.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just that I’m bringing you along this time. I don’t want anything to go wrong.”

Shane pulls away a little so he can look at Ryan and he’s surprised to see that Ryan does actually seem worried.

“Ryan,” he says, “it’s going to be fine. Why would anything go wrong? It’s not like I’m going to be walking around naked or selling weed off your lawn or something.”

Ryan snorts. “I’d kill you before my parents ever got a glimpse,” he says. “I meant I’m worried for you, asshole.”

Shane’s brow furrows. “Why would you be? Your family’s cool. I’ve heard you talk to them, and I know Jake pretty well by now. What’s there to worry about?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’m overthinking this. It’s the first time you’re meeting them, you know?”

“It’ll turn out great,” Shane reassures him. “It’s going to be a fun week. And if somehow it does end up sucking, we can leave on Wednesday instead of Thursday.”

Ryan chews on his lip and then says, “Yeah. Yeah, okay. I’m definitely overthinking it.”

“Jake should’ve asked you about being nervous instead of me.”

“Jake asked you if you were nervous?” Ryan asks, to which Shane hums a yes. “Are you?”

Shane raises his eyebrows. “Uh, no? I don’t see any reason why I should be.”

For some reason, that succeeds in drawing out a smile from Ryan. “Yeah,” he says. “You know what, you’re right. It’s going to be great.”

“Ugh,” Jake’s voice sounds and they look up to see him approaching, the dogs bouncing around his legs. He rolls his eyes at them. “You better not be this mushy at home.”

Ryan sticks his tongue out at him and then, possibly to make a point, burrows closer into Shane, nuzzling under his jaw again. Shane feels like he’s missing something but he kisses the tip of Ryan’s cap just because he feels like it.

§

Shane knows there’s nothing to worry about and he’s proven right when they’re all given a grand welcome by the Bergaras upon arriving at the family home. It isn’t just Ryan’s immediate family members; the reason for the long visit is because Ryan’s relatives from Japan are flying in and all branches of the Bergara clan are congregating for an official family gathering. Shane’s not just going to be meeting Ryan’s parents but also the rest of the extended family, the number of which is, admittedly, intimidating but he’s not too concerned.

Someone who is apparently a cousin from Toronto comes barrelling out the door when they pull into the driveway. Jake jumps out before Ryan’s even turned off the car and flies at the cousin for a hug but Shane is distracted for the next five minutes frantically grabbing at the pups so they don’t bound out after him and into the street. Once the risk of canine getaway is minimised, proper introductions are made and then Shane’s led into the house where they’re promptly besieged by a parade of relatives. Ryan takes the brunt of the enthusiastic welcome and gamely bears it with sincere joy; he grins and hugs and introduces Shane by name before moving on to the next family member in what seems to be a practiced cycle. It’s moving so fast that all Shane can do is smile, say hi, and shake whatever hands manage to grab his. He can’t even claim to know which hand belongs to who.

When the flood finally dissipates and he and Ryan are left alone in a hallway, Shane declares: “There is no way I’m going to remember all 500 of their names.”

Ryan laughs, loud and bright and happy. Shane watches him, unable to stop the fondness from welling up. Although the last half an hour is mostly a blur, it’s been a treat to see the sheer delight Ryan displays for each person he greets and the excitable way he’d interacted with everyone regardless of aunt, uncle, cousin, or in-law. He’s practically glowing and Shane’s honestly never found him as beautiful as he now looks in the comfort of his family home.

“You’ll be fine,” Ryan tells him with a grin. “There’s plenty of time to learn who everybody is. Anyway, it’s only like 30 or something, it’s not that many people. 500 is a ridiculous exaggeration.”

“‘30 or something’,” Shane mimics, shaking his head. “It’s nuts. Your relatives from Japan aren’t even here yet, right?”

“Yeah, they’re only flying in tomorrow afternoon. Big extended families are the Latino Asian way, baby.”

“Seriously?”

Ryan laughs again. “It is for the Bergaras so you better get used to it. Everyone was super excited to meet you.”

“Yeah, it did seem like they knew about me beforehand,” Shane muses. “I didn’t think they’d know who I was.”

Ryan clears his throat, looking embarrassed. “My family gossips a lot,” he says. “And I maybe mentioned you a couple of times. Just a couple.”

“Oh,” says Shane, surprised. “Well, that’s cool, I guess. Your family’s nice. And it looks like they’ve constructed a makeshift animal shelter in the backyard. There were like forty dogs and cats out there, and I’m sure I saw a parrot or something. I’m not sure I’ll ever find our kids in that mob.”

Ryan smiles at him and reaches out to grab his hand. “C’mon,” he says. “It’s time for the big boss.”

“What?”

“Auntie Tala said my mom was in the kitchen. We should go say hi before she disowns me for taking too long.”

Shane’s not entirely sure why Ryan feels the need to keep holding his hand as they walk but it feels nice so he links their fingers, too. Ryan flashes another smile over his shoulder and Shane basks in it until they’re stepping into a wide, bustling kitchen.

“Ryan!” a woman by the counter exclaims.

Shane’s seen Ryan’s mother in various photographs and caught glimpses of her in video calls so he recognises her immediately. Ryan lets go of Shane’s hand to pull her into an exuberant hug, kissing her cheek and allowing her to fuss over him as if she hasn’t seen him in years (when in fact it’s only been two months since Ryan last visited home). Shane hangs back. He feels a pang in his chest; watching this sweet reunion is making him miss his own mother a little.  

Ryan’s mother peers around Ryan and Shane smiles when she meets his eyes. Ryan glances back at him and gently steps away from his mother, reaching out to grasp Shane’s elbow.

“Shane, this is my mom, Linda,” he says, sounding a little nervous much to Shane’s puzzlement, “Mom, this is my boyfriend, Shane Madej.”

Shane’s already saying, “Nice to meet you, ma’am,” before his brain screeches to a halt when he registers Ryan’s exact words. He blinks at him, utterly startled, but Ryan doesn’t notice because he’s looking at his mother.

Linda beams at Shane with a smile that her eldest son most definitely inherits from her and she catches the hand Shane had held out with both of her own. He jerks his eyes away from Ryan to look at her.

“It’s great to finally meet you, Shane,” Linda says with genuine enthusiasm. “I don’t know why it took Ryan so long to bring you home to meet us. God knows we’ve been telling him to for months now but he wouldn’t even let us talk to you over Facetime.”

Shane almost, almost gapes at her but he manages to recover and ups the wattage of his smile.

“I’m happy to finally meet you, too, ma’am,” he says, “Ryan’s a terrible son, definitely. He must have been ashamed of me or something.”

Ryan jabs at his ribs and Linda laughs. It’s staggering how much Ryan resembles her.

“You can call me Linda,” she says, squeezing the hand she’s still clutching before finally releasing it. “I’m just happy Ryan finally brought you home. Everybody was excited to see you. But you look a bit worn down—how about you go and freshen up first and I’ll call you when dinner’s ready? I’m sure someone brought your things up to Ryan’s room.”

“Oh, sure, thanks,” says Shane.

Ryan tells him to go ahead since there are apparently others he still needs to greet so Shane heads off with directions to his destination. He feels a little awkward walking through the house on his own but he makes it to Ryan’s childhood bedroom, which is marked by a plaque with Ryan’s name, much to his amusement. He wastes no time examining the room, noting the mini hoop fixed into one wall, the trophies on a stack of shelves, and other various knickknacks scattered through the space. Shane entertains himself for a few minutes imagining a teenage Ryan puttering around, tossing a ball at the hoop or doing his homework at the desk. It’s an easy vision to conjure. The entire space radiates Ryan.

Ryan, who is apparently his boyfriend now?

Shane shakes his head, still bemused by the label. It’s the first time he’s heard himself described as such. Although he knows they do things considered the norm for most couples, he’s never actually thought of him and Ryan as ‘dating’. Ryan did teach both their dogs to see Shane as ‘papa’ to Ryan’s ‘daddy’ but that had started as a joke. They spend all their time together, their apartments are a combined mess of each other, they kiss and they have sex, and it doesn’t occur to him that they’re official in any sense of the word. He’s never really defined his feelings for Ryan, though he’s not stupid enough to deny the romantic component to it. Shane certainly has no interest in finding other people to do those things with and it doesn’t seem that Ryan does, either.

And yet for some reason, Ryan calling him ‘boyfriend’ takes him by complete surprise.

Shane sits on the bed, staring at the two suitcases stacked at the foot of it. He and Ryan don’t have individual bags; their things are mixed up between both because they can barely tell their clothes apart nowadays and they share just about everything but toiletries and shoes. In fact, Shane’s wearing one of Ryan’s t-shirts right now under one of his usual plaids. He supposes that’s a very boyfriend thing to do.

It’s just that they’ve never talked about being boyfriends. There were no confessions of shared feelings, no anniversary of the day they got together—Shane doesn’t even remember when his outlook on Ryan shifted from platonic to attraction, if it hadn’t been that way from the start. Whether it was back then, when they had been just friends, or now that they’re more than that, everything he has with Ryan feels natural. He’s never put a name to this thing between them because it’s such an intrinsic part of him that he hasn’t even considered that they’d need a name.

‘Boyfriends’ is apt, technically. In the eyes of everyone else, their actions alone would label them a couple. Shane has never thought of it that way because he tends to do whatever he feels like doing and Ryan’s generally receptive; that’s just the way things progress for them. But it’s not like they can tell Ryan’s mother that, can they? Labelling their relationship makes sense in that context.

Shane scratches at his cheek where stubble is beginning to grow. He isn’t entirely sure how to feel about this new designation, but it’s not like it’s displeasing. He’ll have to talk to Ryan about it at some point when they’re back home. For now, since Ryan’s already introduced Shane as his boyfriend to his mother, Shane will just go with it.

“Boyfriend,” Shane says aloud into the silence of the room. He expects for it to sound childish or stupid.

To his surprise, it doesn’t.

§

Ryan joins him not too long after and they ‘freshen up’, which happens to involve a lot of shirtless making out in Ryan’s childhood bed. Shane staunchly refuses to go any further, both because he’s still recovering from that ‘boyfriend’ bit, and also because Ryan’s entire family is downstairs and he certainly isn’t going to go back down looking freshly fucked in front of that crowd.

“You’re a prude,” Ryan complains, after Shane shoves him off. “No one’s even going to notice.”

“Now you’re just lying to yourself,” Shane says dryly.

“Everyone probably thinks we’re fucking up here anyway,” Ryan wheedles. “We might as well make the most of it.”

Shane tosses the closest t-shirt at his face and climbs out of bed, making a beeline for the bathroom.

“I’m going to shower,” he announces, but when he glances back, he finds himself pausing.

Ryan’s removed the t-shirt and he’s sitting up on his elbows, pouting over at Shane. They got pretty hot and heavy before Shane evacuated the bed so he’s sweating a bit, and the sight of him splayed out like that, golden skin practically glowing and his chest heaving, the line of his erection obvious under his cargo shorts, is nothing short of sin. It’s the kind of setup that usually ends with Shane straddling him and riding that dick into the sun.

Shane stares at Ryan blankly for a couple of moments.

“Is your shower big enough for two?” he finds himself asking.

Ryan immediately brightens. “We could make it fit,” he says with a leer.

Shane is a weak, weak man.

They get called down to dinner an hour later, which is thankfully enough time for them to get ready after the shared shower. Since there are so many people, dinner’s being served buffet style, so Shane and Ryan load up their plates and then head out to the backyard in search of their pups. This is where Shane finally meets Ryan’s father, Steve, who is as happy to meet him as Linda had been, albeit in a more laidback manner. Blossom and Bubbles sniff them out immediately and bring along a cohort of other excitable pets which is frankly a little scary, so Shane immediately flees the area to the sound of Ryan’s laughter.

“Did Ryan abandon you already?” Jake asks with a grin when Shane turns up in the kitchen.

“I left him to get mauled by our kids and their cousins,” Shane replies, taking a seat next to him at the breakfast bar.

“Your kids?” Linda asks from across the bar, her expression startled.

Jake rolls his eyes. “The pups,” he informs his mother. “They keep calling them their ‘kids’. I thought it was a prank while I was staying over but apparently it’s a thing.”

“It’s Ryan’s fault,” Shane says. “He started teaching Bubbles to see me as ‘papa’ even before we adopted Blossom.”

Linda looks the way Ryan does when he’s about to go out for a Lakers game. “That’s adorable,” she breathes.

Shane doesn’t understand why but it makes him blush.

A number of other relatives join them and dinner passes in a pleasant haze of chatting and good food, alongside the endless supply of booze that Shane guiltily helps himself to. He doesn’t even know how long he’s been sitting there until he glances at a large clock on the wall and realises it’s been literal hours. It’s a surprise for him to be so comfortable despite being surrounded by strangers. He hadn’t expected to fit in so well with everyone, and it gives him a warm feeling in his stomach to realise how thoroughly they’ve accepted his presence that he doesn’t feel even a bit out of place. He’s heard horror stories about large extended families but so far it’s been a blast.

At one point, Ryan reappears, giving him a hug from behind and dropping a kiss against the back of Shane’s neck. Neither are actions he’s ever done in public before, much less in front of his family, all of whom look amused.

“Are you drunk?” Shane demands, craning to look at him.  

“No!” Ryan immediately denies. “A little bit,” he amends a second later. He leans into Shane’s back. “Juan brought tequila,” he mumbles.

“It’s not even ten,” Linda says, rolling her eyes the exact same way Jake had earlier.

“I only had a few shots,” Ryan defends himself, entirely unconvincing.

“It’s not even ten,” Shane mocks him, though he’s amused. “I can’t believe you got drunk on the first night.”

“It’s going to happen every night when the whole family’s in town,” Jake tells him.

Ryan nuzzles at Shane’s neck and Shane is sure he’s taken more than ‘a few shots’. He’s impressed Ryan isn’t slurring.

“You okay?” Ryan asks him.

Shane is slightly confused by the question. “Sure,” he says. “Just enjoying a beer and talking to various members of your family who I totally can’t remember the names of.”

Laughter bursts across the kitchen and Shane finds himself grinning, pleased. Ryan grins back, his eyes dancing in the bright lights of the kitchen. Shane wants to kiss him but he’s not that brave when there are scores of gazes upon them. Ryan sags against him a little more and Shane realises that his level of drunkenness is probably because he’s tired from today’s traveling.

“Okay,” Shane says, “how about we get you to bed?”

“Mm,” Ryan agrees.

When Shane makes to pick up his plate, one of Ryan’s uncles waves him away. “We’ll clear up,” he says, to which Shane concedes with a grateful nod. He’ll pull his weight tomorrow.

They take a detour to collect the pups but both Blossom and Bubbles apparently prefer their cousins to their parents, so Shane leaves them there and herds Ryan up to the bedroom. Ryan puts up absolutely no resistance whatsoever when Shane proceeds to strip and then manoeuvre him into pyjamas. It’s further testament to how tired he must be; Ryan doesn’t usually allow him to get handsy when they’re dressing for bed, whether Shane has intentions or not (he always does, admittedly).

He watches as Ryan flops face first onto the mattress and can’t help but laugh when Ryan groans.

“You doing okay there, Ryan?” Shane says as he sits on his side of the bed, knee by Ryan’s head.

Ryan mumbles something incomprehensible. Shane shakes his head but reaches over to stroke his hair.

“You definitely drank too much,” he says. “What were you thinking? You know how you get when you’re too tired. Your hangover’s going to be hell tomorrow.”

Ryan grumbles and then turns his head so that he’s facing Shane, who moves his hand accordingly.

“I wasn’t really thinking,” Ryan says. “I guess I was a bit keyed up.”

“What the hell for?”

“I don’t know, it’s stupid. I shouldn’t have drunk so much.”

Usually Shane will make fun of him but sitting here in Ryan’s childhood bedroom, with Ryan drunk and quiet beside him, he finds himself softening. He sighs as he continues to stroke Ryan’s hair.

“Is this like when you were worried this afternoon?” he asks. “About us coming over to your parents’ house?”

Ryan says nothing.

“Because I told you it was gonna be fine and it was. Everyone’s been nice and I had fun today. I’m sure I’m gonna have fun for the rest of the visit, too. There’s seriously nothing to be worried about.”

Ryan exhales. “Yeah,” he says. “I know. You fit right in; I’m amazed, actually.”

“I’m not that socially awkward,” Shane says, frowning.

Ryan laughs a little in response. “That’s not what I meant,” he says. “I kind of love that you fit right in. Everybody thinks you’re cool.”

“Okay,” says Shane. “That’s…a good thing, right?”

“Totally. I guess I was overreacting.”

“Tell me about it. You deserve the hangover tomorrow.”

“Shut up, Shane. I already said I regretted it. I’m not going to do it again.”

“Why the hell would you do it again? It doesn’t even make sense that you did it the first time. I’m still not sure what you were stressing out about.”

Ryan inches closer and hides his face in Shane’s knee, which is a gesture Shane will never tell him is full on adorable.

“I’m glad you weren’t stressed out,” Ryan says, voice a mumble again.

Shane doesn’t bother pursuing the same line of questioning. He accepts that he’s just not going to understand what Ryan’s been apprehensive about all day.

“Go to sleep, you idiot,” he says. It comes out fonder than he intends.

Ryan hums and his hand moves so he can curl his fingers into the fabric of Shane’s pants. He doesn’t say anything else.

Shane doesn’t really know why but he continues to stroke Ryan’s hair long after Ryan starts snoring.

§

Predictably, Ryan wakes up with a serious hangover and refuses to come out from underneath the covers. Shane milks it for all he’s worth as he’s getting dressed but leaves the idiot be in favour of heading down to look for the dogs. Blossom and Bubbles greet him far more enthusiastically than they had yesterday and Shane finds himself agreeing to join some of the other family members who are taking the rest of the dogs, and some of the cats, on a walk. When he returns, he finds Ryan at the dining table, apparently forced out of bed by his father and looking near death despite the delicious spread before him.

“Don’t you look perky,” Shane says, dropping a kiss atop Ryan’s head as he passes by.

He doesn’t miss Ryan’s mutter of ‘dick’ but forgives him because the poor man is already suffering enough.

Ryan’s allowed to return to bed after breakfast and Shane brings him the pups to snuggle with. Ryan’s always faster to recover when the kids nap with him. He makes sure to snap a photo of Ryan passed out with Blossom and Bubbles cuddled against him.

“Do the puppies sleep with you at home?” one of Ryan’s cousins asks when he comes back down.

“The big one insists on sharing with me,” Shane replies, “but yeah, the other two have their own doggie beds.”

That joke earns him tonnes of brownie points and Shane spends the remaining morning in the backyard chatting with the relatives of Ryan’s age group, whose mesh of cultures make for hilarious banter over all sorts of topics. It’s fast-paced, diverse, and Shane can imagine a young Ryan amongst them all, laughing and teasing and more than willing to argue over just about anything. His heart warms up at the thought that he’s able to get along with these people who have grown up with Ryan.

He also gets a lot of blackmail material because Ryan’s relatives, including his own brother, are merciless and honestly, Shane can respect that.

At noon, the whole lot of them are enlisted to help with lunch. Shane’s in the midst of learning how to make tamales the right way (as stressed by at least three different aunts and uncles, as well as Ryan’s father) when Jake appears at his side. He’s dressed up like he’s about to go out.

“Ryan’s still passed out,” he tells Shane. “I’m going with my parents and some of the others to pick up our relatives from the airport. Coming with?”

Shane looks down at the bowl of lard in his arms. “Nope, I’m good,” he says, “After we finish the tamales, Auntie Maria says she’s going to show me how to make birria. Apparently it’ll be good for Ryan’s hangover.”

Jake blinks at him. “Okay,” he says, and then grins. He claps Shane’s shoulder. “I guess I really don’t have to worry about you. You fit right in.”

Shane stares at him. “What is it with you and Ryan saying the same thing?” he demands, bewildered. “Did you bring me here expecting everybody to hate me?”

But Jake only laughs and leaves him there to stew. Although he’s still baffled, Shane doesn’t get to dwell on it because Auntie Maria threatens to beat him if he doesn’t finish beating the lard and in the face of his certainty that she will kick his ass, he forgets the encounter completely.

Ryan wanders down after they’ve already started eating and the look on his face when Auntie Maria hands him a plate of Shane’s birria is priceless. Shane basks in the bountiful praise everyone heaps on him for his help with lunch. He smiles smugly over at Ryan who never misses a chance to make fun of his cooking, but when Ryan himself expresses wonder over the birria, Shane ends up feeling bashful.

“He made this just for you,” Auntie Maria tells Ryan with a wink.

“I did not,” Shane protests, even though he totally did.

Ryan sees right through him and smiles, sweet and brilliant, and it makes Shane flush, much to everyone’s amusement.

“To be young again,” an uncle sighs from the next room.

For some reason this leads to an argument spanning the three rooms of feasting Bergaras, and under the shouts and laughter, Shane sidles up to Ryan’s side. Ryan flashes another smile that sends Shane’s heart skittering.

“I can’t believe Auntie Maria taught you how to make birria,” Ryan says. “I can’t believe you made it.”

“Figured it’d be useful to learn since you apparently don’t know the magical elixir. I could make it next time we drink too much.”

Ryan bumps their shoulders together and Shane grants him a fond smile that makes him flush. They subside into silence to enjoy the frankly comical family argument happening around them as they eat; it doesn’t take long for Ryan to join in with full gusto and Shane’s delighted to see the amount of people that immediately gang up against him ‘on principle’. He’s not even sure what the topic is about but everything around him is loud, happy, and filled with laughter.

Jake and the rest return with their Japanese relatives just as the washing up’s done and the greetings are five times more explosive than the one Ryan and Shane had been treated to yesterday. While Ryan wades into the flood, Shane stands back to watch. This visit is his first experience with such a big, boisterous family and it’s been a great experience so far thanks to how welcoming everyone is; the sight of them all hugging and crying and exclaiming over the new arrivals is pretty heartwarming. It makes him long for his own family back in Illinois.

He’s content to remain in the background watching but then Ryan resurfaces, grabs his arm, and drags him into the fray despite Shane’s immediate protests. Ryan perseveres and unfortunately, despite the difference in their statures, he’s the stronger one and so Shane gets towed over even though he’s trying to dig his heels in like a reluctant cat. Ryan’s relatives from Japan react with excitement when Ryan introduces him as his boyfriend (the word still makes Shane’s stomach flip) and Shane finds himself swept up in hugs and delighted exclamations, half of which are in a language he doesn’t understand but the gist of it can’t be mistaken for anything besides genuine elation. He’s even gifted with a kiss on the forehead by one of the grandmothers.

Yeah, definitely heartwarming.

§

They go out for dinner, which is a production of its own thanks to the sheer number of them, and when they get back, Ryan invites Shane for a walk.

“We should spend some quality time with the kids,” he says with a crooked smile.

Shane’s never had much of a resistance against Ryan Bergara when he smiles like that. They leave the house amidst catcalls and whistles that make the pups jump around their legs, and he can’t stop himself for laughing even as Ryan rolls his eyes. The night is warm but not quiet and the sounds of the settling neighbourhood is a pleasant hum in the background. They walk along the lit pavement in comfortable silence, watching fondly as Blossom and Bubbles prance around marvelling at the world as though everything is a new sight.

“It’s like I didn’t take them for a walk this morning,” Shane says, tickled.

“They were probably too busy playing with their cousins.”

Shane is even more amused. “They love their cousins to the point of extreme distraction,” he agrees. “Looks like it’s a Bergara family trait.”

Ryan grins up at him. “I’d say it’s a Madej trait, too.”

“I do love my cousins,” says Shane thoughtfully. “But I don’t know if I’ve ever been as excited to see them as the kids are to see their cousins, or as the rest of you when you see each other.”

Ryan throws his head back and laughs in that open way of his which never fails to pull a smile on Shane’s face, too. The dogs are thrilled at the sound of the laughter and they’re forced to grip their leashes extra tight when both Blossom and Bubbles get overexcited. It takes a bit before they settle down and by then, Shane and Ryan decide it’s time to trek back to the house.

“I’m sorry I left you to fend for yourself,” Ryan teases. “All those people must have been overwhelming for poor, socially awkward Shane Madej.”

“I’ll have you know that I’ve been adopted as the newest Bergara, baby. They like me more than you now.”

Ryan ducks his head as if to hide the brilliant smile he’s wearing. Shane nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels a hand sneak into his between them, and he glances down to see Ryan interlocking their fingers. Gobsmacked, he looks back up to see Ryan still smiling at him as if this isn’t the very first time they’re holding hands like this. Despite the sex, the casual arm around the waist or shoulder, and even the cuddling, it’s never occurred to Shane that he can hold Ryan’s hand just as it’s never occurred to him to call him ‘boyfriend’.

He thinks back to the last time Ryan had held his hand, when they’d first arrived at the Bergara house and Ryan had been pulling him along to introduce Shane to his mother. Shane hadn’t even thought twice about it then, had even laced their fingers together in the same way they are now.

Just like everything else they do together, this too feels natural.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” Ryan tells him. “I was worried you’d be stressed.”

Shane gathers himself. “Everybody’s been really great,” he says, and thanks the skies for how normal he sounds. “I haven’t felt out of place at all. They just welcomed me with open arms.”

“Yeah,” says Ryan. His smile gains a fond tint as he thinks of his family. “They’re all losers but at least they know how to treat my boyfriend right.”

The word drift through Shane’s mind, bringing with it the instinctive stomach flip. Shane’s figured out by now that it doesn’t feel bad at all; it’s more like a pleasant rumble sending warmth through him that has nothing to do with the night air. He’s hyper-aware of Ryan’s palm tucked against his and, experimentally, he squeezes. Ryan squeezes back immediately, turning his head to flash him yet another smile. The way he looks in the lamplight is nothing short of beautiful and, with the sound of their dogs yipping happily not too far ahead, Shane leans forward for a kiss. Ryan meets him easily, lips open and welcoming, his smile pressing against Shane’s mouth until Shane smiles back. Their hands remain clasped between them.

At one point, they decide to carry their overly curious kids the rest of the way back but the dogs are light enough for them to keep holding hands. Shane feels like he’s floating on air and he isn’t even sure why.

They arrive at the house to the sounds of shouting and cheers coming from the backyard, where they find everybody gathered around a makeshift basketball court erected in the middle of it all. Two teams made of various family members, mixed to high heavens between all ages and genders, play what looks to be a hilariously aggressive match that involves a lot of fouls that even Shane can recognise. It seems even the pets have become involved, darting between legs across the court and getting in the way of pretty much every player.

“Holy shit,” Shane says in horror, “don’t tell me the whole family’s a baskethead like you?”

Ryan laughs and dives into the fray with Blossom in his arms. Bubbles, who thankfully takes after her papa in the lack of sports interest, is happy to remain with Shane and he wanders over to the deck where the sane members of the family are sprawled. Someone hands him a beer once he’s taken a spot and he settles his eldest on his lap so they can watch the match together. He may not like sports but he supposes it’s his duty to cheer on (read: boo) his boyfriend.

§

The rest of the visit goes by just like the first two days in a blur of noise, good company, and fun. Ryan’s family unabashedly includes Shane in everything like he’s already one of their own and Shane also gets to see a warmer, bouncier, and ultimately sweeter side of Ryan. Ryan eventually convinces him that a fuck isn’t out of the question and although Shane doesn’t regret it (at all, because the way Ryan is around his family is also exceptionally sexy), everyone including Ryan’s mother keeps smirking at him the next morning when he comes down sans boyfriend (who’s too sore to leave the bed, for which Shane shamelessly takes credit) but bearing marks only a scarf could cover.

Ryan maintains that the sex is worth the teasing they both have to endure that day. Shane agrees.

Shane does eventually learn everybody’s names and he spends most of his time with Ryan, Jake, and their generation of cousins who all grew up together. On the third day, they take him to visit their old haunts from their childhood; Shane even convinces Ryan to ditch the group in favour of making out behind the old arcade, for which they are soundly made fun of once they finally reunite with the rest. They don’t spare Shane anymore than they spare Ryan and he accepts the ribbing gracefully, because in the end he’s having the time of his life with these people. It’s hard not to have fun when they’ve taken him as one of them so thoroughly.

And the best part of hanging out with the Bergara cousins is that they seem eminently determined to embarrass Ryan in front of Shane.

“So you told everybody I was a real babe, huh?” Shane asks Ryan with a leer, when he comes back from grocery shopping on the fourth day.

“Like hell,” Ryan squawks.

“He kept bragging about how we should all be jealous he got such a catch!” cousin Kasumi yells from another room.

Her twin brother Minato also yells, “One time he called us just to gush about how beautiful your eyes are!”

“Aww, baby,” Shane says, barely keeping it together from bursting out laughing. “I’m touched.”

“Shut the hell up!” Ryan yelps, jumping to his feet.

Someone shouts a string of Spanish that Shane assumes involve a dirty euphemism judging by how fast Ryan turns red. Ryan doesn’t even spare him a glance before he’s bolting out the room and when a host of screams erupt from somewhere in the house, Shane knows he’s gone to avenge his honour. He laughs and Linda, who’s folding paper cranes on the sofa with her husband for a wish, grins at him.

“They’re not joking about the gushing,” she says in a conspiratorial tone. “He lorded it over his cousins for months before he finally brought you home.”

“You should have heard how he talked you up,” Steve adds, just as sly.

“I’m begging you to tell me more,” Shane says, utterly serious.

Shane eventually finds Ryan again later on in the evening, sitting on the deck with little Chesa in his lap. At almost six years old, she was the youngest of the Bergara clan before baby Kimiko was born a few months earlier, and Shane’s already witnessed the amount of spoiling everyone lavishes on the little girl. Shane himself can’t help but dote on her, too, because Chesa is an energetic and cheerful child who hadn’t batted an eye at his height when they first met. She’s showing Ryan the bracelet of colourful beads around her wrist and chattering at him in a mix of English and her native language. Ryan’s nodding his head attentively even though he probably understands little more than a quarter of what she’s saying.

“Now isn’t this the cutest sight I ever did see,” Shane drawls as he wanders over.

Ryan looks up and grins at him at the same time Chesa squeals his name. Shane may or may not have gotten choked up when he realised she had learnt it.

“Prinsesa,” Shane says with a bow. He takes a seat next to Ryan as she giggles and holds his hands out. “Is it okay if I pick you up?”

When she reaches for him, he retrieves her from Ryan’s arms and settles her on his lap, checking to make sure her mid-thigh stumps are arranged as comfortably as possible. She leans back into his chest and waves her arms happily.

“Prinsesa,” Ryan says with an exaggerated pout. “Why do you like Sasquatch more than me?”

“He’s bigger,” Chesa says promptly.

Shane’s body shakes with how hard he’s restraining his laughter. Ryan turns his nose up at him even though the corners of his mouth are twitching into an obvious smile. Shane blows a raspberry into the side of Chesa’s face, making her scream in laughter.

“No!” she says, batting at him. “Look,” she adds, waving her wrist with the beads wrapped around it.

“They’re very pretty,” Shane says, and he means it.

“They’re from her grandmother on Auntie Tala’s side of the family,” Ryan tells him. “She visited from the Philippines when Chesa was scheduled for the surgery last year.”

“It was a present?” Shane asks Chesa with a smile.

“Indang gave me!” Chesa says, catching her own wrist and tapping on the beads. “She made them just for me.”

Shane runs his hand down her hair. “Only the best for the prinsesa,” he says fondly. “You look beautiful.”

When he looks up, he finds Ryan watching them with a soft expression. The setting sun is doing that amazing thing to his eyes again where they look like they’re glowing. Shane’s heart starts to beat a little faster and he tries to remind himself not to be too pathetic. One look shouldn’t send him swooning.

“What?” he asks.

Ryan’s soft look doesn’t falter at all. “You look beautiful, too,” he says.

Shane goes red. Ryan blinks at him and chortles.

“Are you seriously embarrassed by that?” he asks gleefully.

“Shut up,” Shane grumbles.

“Shut up,” Chesa repeats.

Ryan laughs again, tilting his head back. Shane leans over to kiss him in an attempt to shut him up, which works out spectacularly. Except for the little girl that starts squirming in his arms.

“Eww!” Chesa shrieks. “Nanay! Nanay, Ryan’s being icky with Shane!”

“Boys!” Auntie Tala’s voice calls from inside the house. “Don’t you dare scar my daughter’s eyes or you’re not getting any karukan tonight!”

Shane and Ryan break apart laughing at that, and Shane lets Chesa wriggle out of his hold, setting her gently on the grass before he helps her with the stilts Ryan hands over. They track her progress as she waltzes away without any trouble to join the game her cousins in her age group are playing and their shrieks of excitement ring through the yard. Shane smiles to himself as he watches them. He glances at his boyfriend and reaches over to lay a hand on Ryan’s where it’s splayed on the wooden floor of the deck. Ryan doesn’t look at him but his smile grows wider.

He turns his hand until their fingers are laced, palm to palm.

§

Shane is honestly disappointed when the day arrives for them to go back. A number of Ryan’s relatives have left by then and each goodbye had been oddly sad considering he’s only known these people a couple of days, but now that he himself is heading off, it feels outright heartbreaking.

There are a few tears shed when everyone sees them off. Shane loses sight of Ryan barely five minutes into the farewells they’re both swept into. Not a single person lets him pass without a hug and many of the elderly ones leave smacking kisses all over his face. Shane’s heart grows heavier and heavier with each goodbye, to the point he hardly has the will to let Auntie Tala pry Chesa off him when she refuses to let go. Steve and Jake both give him identical, hearty claps on the back when they hug him.

“I’ll probably be up to visit again,” Jake says as he shakes Shane’s hand. “I can babysit the kids while you guys go off to be disgusting together.”

Shane is comfortable enough with him by now that he feels no reserve in cuffing him round the head. “One day you’ll be old enough to understand,” he says with a grin.

Jake laughs in the same way his big brother does, and Shane has to hug him again. The last person to see him off is Ryan’s mother, who pulls him into the longest embrace of them all. Linda pulls away just enough to cup his face, her expression affectionate.

“You promise me you’re coming with Ryan next time he visits,” she says.

“I promise, m’am,” Shane says obediently. He fully intends to keep it.

Linda beams at him and Shane’s struck yet again with how much Ryan resembles her. Linda presses a kiss against his cheek.

“Drive safe,” she says. “And you better be around when Ryan calls next time. I want to hear how both my boys are doing.”

Shane maybe, just maybe, tears up a little bit but not even Steve, standing behind his wife, would ever rat him out.

It takes some effort and at least four people, Ryan included, to wrestle the pups away from their cousins but eventually they’re fully packed, multiple containers of homemade food in the boot, and ready to go. Shane honks once as he reverses out of the driveway and Ryan keeps firm hands on Blossom and Bubbles as they stick their heads out of the window to bark. The Bergara family call out goodbyes and waves madly when the car pulls away and Shane watches through the rear view mirror as the young ones, Chesa included, chase after until they’re finally too far to follow. Ryan gently coaxes their dogs back in so he can close the window and they curl into his arms, whimpering mournfully.

“Everyone was acting like we’d never see each other again,” Ryan remarks. “My cousin Ant was sobbing their eyes out even though they only live two hours away from the family house. I won’t lie; I cried a little bit, too.”

There’s still a lump in Shane’s throat so he says nothing. Ryan gives him a gentle look that proves he knows about it anyway.

The drive back is long but they make good time and pull into the parking lot of Shane’s apartment complex around nine the same night. Ryan heads up first to sort out the kids and Shane follows after with the food containers. They bring up the rest of luggage together but ultimately can’t be bothered with unpacking tonight. After texting Ryan’s family about their safe return, they decide to get prepared for bed early.

A little while later, Shane exits the bathroom to find Ryan tucking the pups into the doggy bed set up in the corner of the bedroom, cooing at them ridiculously. Shane stifles a laugh and stands there, towel slung around his shoulders, watching Ryan baby talk their dogs until he finally notices Shane’s presence. Ryan immediately flushes pink and shoots to his feet.

“How long have you been standing there?” he demands.

Shane laughs, pitching the sound low as to not excite the kids. “Long enough,” he says, striding forward to stand at Ryan’s side and taking his hand; it’s a new habit he’s been cultivating. He looks into the doggy bed and a soft smile takes over his face when he sees the way Blossom and Bubbles are sprawled over each other. “Poor pups, they must’ve been exhausted.”

“Tell me about it. I’m gonna pass out the moment my head hits the pillow.”

Shane tilts his head, a thought crossing his mind. He thinks back to his decision to talk to Ryan about the ‘boyfriend’ thing once they’re home; it’s not going to happen tonight, not when they’re both as tired as they are, but he wonders how he’d bring it up. He has to, right? Ryan clearly believes they’ve been dating all this time and he probably deserves to know that Shane had missed that entirely. He believes it now, of course, because they’re clearly a couple even if he’s been clueless about it for the most part—it’s just, how does he talk to Ryan about it? It’s probably not going to be an easy conversation. Ryan won’t break up with him just because he’s been too clueless to realise what they are to each other, but Shane does expect to have to do some significant grovelling after it comes to light.

Well, that’s not really a deterrent. Ryan tends to prefer grovelling in the form of sexual favours and Shane’s definitely willing to oblige.

He looks over at his boyfriend. Ryan’s watching their dogs, his hair sticking up and his face wearing that familiar expression of unabashed adoration. His thumb rubs absently over Shane’s knuckles in slow circles.

Shane’s heart swells.

“I want a third kid,” he says.

Ryan looks up at him, his eyebrows rising and a grin already spreading across his face. “What?” he says, laughter flavouring his voice. “You want another dog? Or should we get a cat like you’ve been threatening?”

“Anything’s fine as long as we complete the set,” Shane says. “Blossom and Bubbles aren’t complete without Buttercup.”

Ryan does laugh this time. “Can’t argue with that,” he says. “I guess we’re going to the shelter soon.”

Shane opens his arms and Ryan falls into them willingly, unquestioningly, and just like everything else about their relationship, the feel of Ryan hugging him is natural beyond comprehension. Shane doesn’t know how he could’ve missed it.

“I love you,” he says.

Ryan’s eyes are bright and happy as he cups Shane’s face, his thumb brushing over the beauty mark he’s told Shane time and again how much he adores. “I love you, too,” he says.

Shane smiles. It doesn’t matter what he did or didn’t miss. As long as he has Ryan with him like this, then it’s perfect.

 §  The End §