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"You look absolutely fucking exhausted, Nicky.”
“Maybe because I am.”
“You need to work less.”
“Well, it’s not like I can just--”
“And get properly laid again. What about that cute teacher from Aaron’s and Andrew’s kindergarten?”
“Oh my God, shut up!”
Allison threw one leg over the other, looking completely unimpressed by Nicky’s shocked gasp. Renee made a soft, chiding sound next to her, but then nipped on her tea with a small smile.
“I don’t agree with the way Allison put it, but maybe she’s right. You’ve raised the boys all by yourself for the past two years, maybe you should try to find someone to raise them with. And you do like that teacher - Erik, wasn’t it?”
“I mean… He’s nice. And looks good. And the boys love him.” With every word, Nicky’s voice turned more and more quiet until he was mumbling into his mug with his face reddened all the way up to his ears. There was no denying he had a massive crush on Andrew’s and Aaron’s keyperson Erik. Erik was the sweetest, kindest person Nicky had met in a long time. He was good-looking, too, and one of the few people to make him feel like they were genuinely trying to support him without judging. During their first meeting after the boys’ settling-in phase, Erik had asked about the boys’ mother, apologising twice for the question even before Nicky could even say anything.
Instead of telling him a lie about an ex-girlfriend who left him with the kids, he told him the truth. Not in excruciating detail, but enough for Erik to understand their situation. Mostly, because it was important for the boys. They might talk about their Mom or their situation anyway, they were children after all, and this way Erik knew about it and could handle the situation better and support them however they might need it.
Erik had listened quietly, nodded his understanding and went on as if Nicky hadn't said anything out of the ordinary.
“I don't even know if he likes guys. Probably not. You know what, he probably has a pretty, sporty girlfriend who does yoga on Sundays and drinks green smoothies for breakfast, and is definitely not interested in a twenty-year old mess with two little boys and a minimum wage job.” Allison and Renee threw each other a displeased glance that Nicky knew would either lead to Allison hitting him over the head or Renee giving him a speech about his worth and self-love. Or both. He could see Allison un-cross her legs to reach over for a hit and Renee getting ready for her sermon, but Nicky was saved by the twins barging into the living room. Aaron was crying and Andrew was shouting. Great. Maybe Allison's hit would've been better after all.
“Hey, hey, hey. Boys, what's up? Aaron, why are you-- Jeez, Andrew, can you stop the shouting, please? I can't hear a word of what either of you is saying!”
It took Nicky fifteen minutes to resolve the fight between the brothers. It turned out to be something minor, Andrew using a pen that Aaron needed for his drawing and Andrew not wanting to share. Nicky explained to Andrew that he had to share and that all the toys belong to both twins. And to Aaron he said, he needed to wait his turn if another child was using something he wanted to have. The boys, if reluctantly and visibly unpleased, acknowledged Nicky's lesson and went back to their room to continue their drawings. A few moments later he heard Andrew's tiny voice:
“Here, I don't need it anymore. Give me the orange one instead…...Please.”
Half an hour later both twins came back. This time either of them had a big smile plastered on their pudgy faces and they showed their drawings to Nicky and the girls.
“Oh that is lovely, boys,” cooed Renee and combed her fingers through both twins’ blond hair.
“What is it?” Allison asked, confused. Renee tutted at her again, but the boys didn't seem fazed.
“We drew foxes,” Andrew explained.
“They're our favourite animals,” Aaron added. Nicky smiled and hung the pictures up on the fridge.
***
“Nicky! Ah, thank God, I thought I missed you already.”
Nicky looked up from where he was crouched in front of Aaron, helping him to get into his shoe, while Andrew was busy fighting the zipper on his jacket next to him. Both boys stopped what they were doing to look up as well.
“Oh, Erik.” Nicky smiled shily. “Is something the matter?”
Erik squatted down in front of Andrew and asked:
“Can I help you with that, Andrew?”
Andrew nodded and let his teacher zip up his jacket for him. Erik stayed down when he faced Nicky.
“Do you remember I told you lunch time always seems a bit difficult with your boys?”
Yes, Nicky remembered. They had had a couple talks about that topic already but no one seemed to be able to figure out why Andrew and Aaron refused to eat for a few minutes every day until hunger would get the better of them. They never did that at home.
“Well, I think today we found the problem!” Erik’s face and voice seemed way too cheery when he used the word problem. Nicky frowned, confused.
“Andrew here informed us today, that we’re doing lunch-time all wrong,” Erik laughed his warm, friendly laugh and tousled Andrew’s hair, who tried to duck away from Nicky’s sceptical eyes.
“Did he?” Nicky asked.
“Yes! Apparently us silly, silly teachers forget to say our prayer before lunch eyer day!”
Nicky stopped and looked at Andrew. Despite his height and his squishy cheeks he looked impudent, the way he stood there, arms crossed and bottom lip pushed forward.
“They do!” He said and stomped one of his feet, “And then Miss Nancy laughed and said we shouldn’t be silly and just eat!” Now Andrew looked more angry than impudent.
“Oh, Jeez, Erik I’m sorry, we-”
“No, don’t be sorry,” Erik smiled, “Andrew is right to be angry. It’s something you do at home and Miss Nancy shouldn’t have said that. And she’s very sorry and apologized, didn’t she?” Reluctantly, Andrew nodded.
“Now, I talked to my colleagues, but since we’re a non-religious setting we can’t pray with the group before lunch,” Erik explained. Nicky nodded.
“No, I understand, I'm going to talk to the boys about it,” he assured. He hadn’t even thought about this. He prayed with the boys before each meal and he never thought they’d get so used to it, they’d refuse to eat without it.
“But,” Erik held one finger up with a happy grin, “We agreed it would be alright if just the boys and I would say a private little prayer before lunch together. If that is alright with you, of course.”
Oh, Erik. Perfect, beautiful Erik.
Never would Nicky have expected this from any of them. He knew they wouldn't teach the boys about religion at this setting and he was fine with that. Even though his belief was always an important part of his life to Nicky, he had no problem to keep this part for home, to teach the boys about God and his forgiveness and about rules like love thy neighbour. So this offer by Erik was so much more than he had hoped for.
“I mean,” Nicky stammered. He knew he was visibly flustered. “Only if that is alright with you. I don't want to make you uncomfortable if you don't...you know. You don't have to do this.”
“I'd be happy to,” Erik responded. He sounded so sincere, Nicky couldn't not believe him.
“I think it would be quite nice to have someone to say that prayer together with again. You know, back when I lived with my parents in Germany we did it every day, but since I moved here I have to do it by myself. And I think Andrew and Aaron might have some nice prayers.”
Okay, Nicky wanted to cry. Could Erik get any more perfect? This was just unfair.
Oh, but, wait-
Did that mean he didn't have a rock-climbing, Pilates-doing, Chia-eating girlfriend?
Nicky smiled. He didn't know how much of his crush the smile carried, so he hid it by lowering his head and tying Aaron's shoelaces.
“Thank you,” he said, “Really, thank you. You're so kind.”
“Don't worry about it, it's nothing.” Oh, but it was. It was so much to Nicky, who never experienced this much support before. To him, it meant the world.
***
“He liiiikes you,” Allison said in a sing-song voice and with a cheery and at the same time teasing laugh, “I'm calling it, he likes you just as much as you like him.” Nicky shouldn't have told her about the prayer-thing.
Renee, with a pleased smile, said:
“He's a very kind man. I'm sure if you asked him out for a coffee, even if he'd decline, he would be very gentle about it and won't think any less of you.”
“But I wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes, like, ever again.” Nicky shook his head. There was no way he'd ask Erik for a date.
“For Christ's sake, he's the boys’ keyperson. He's probably not even allowed to go on a date with their legal guardian.”
“You won't find out if you don't ask, dumbass.” Allison flicked a perfectly manicured finger against Nicky's nose. Nicky frowned in response.
***
Nicky combed his hand through Aaron's hair, trying and giving up to get it to behave. Aaron, in return, sighed at him, annoyed by his cousin-turned-dad’s umpteenth try to get the blond strands to stay where he wanted them.
“Kiki, why do we even have to look so nice for church? Didn't you say God loves us all the time? Even when we're all muddy and dirty?” Nicky couldn't help the small giggle that escaped him because of the question.
“He does,” he agreed, “But he also likes when we look nice to worship him.”
“Okay.” Aaron shrugged, satisfied with that answer.
But God wasn't the only reason Nicky wanted the twins and himself to look impeccable today. Today he took them to a new church. It was the fourth since he got the boys. Of course he had left the church his father was priest at, the moment he moved out and adopted the twins. He hadn't seen his parents all that much in general since then; they thought he was a disgrace to them. Why, Nicky would never understand. He was just doing what God wanted him to do. Be kind. Help where there's help needed. Love his family. But his father seemed to have a different look on this. So, that church, the church he grew up in, had never been an option. And the others he tried, the people there had been nice enough. Well, most of them. But he never seemed to be able to fit quite in. He still got looks from all sides when him and the boys came in for Sunday mass. So, eventually, he had left all of them again. Nicky really hoped this one would be different, so he tried to make a good first impression.
Suddenly, the boys started to shriek, then laughed and then just let go of Nicky's hands and ran away.
“Aaron! Andrew!! Come back, where are you going?!” Nicky ran after them. These boys, for God's sake, why did they ever think it would be a good idea to just run?! One of these days he'd have a heart attack because of them.
They ran into a crowd of people right in front of the church, slipping in between pairs of legs, away under fancy handbags. Damn these twins and their short legs. While they just slipped into the group without anyone really having to budge, Nicky had to squeeze in between bodies, gently pushing people aside with a constant stream of “I'm sorry”s and “Excuse me”s on his lips. So much for his good, first impression. People watched Nicky and the twins, though they seemed rather amused. Two elderly women giggled and waved their hands, saying “Oh, children, so full of life” and “I remember when Charles was like that, haha” to each other.
Finally, Nicky spotted the twins who stopped by a man, pulling at his fancy, black cotton trousers and saying something to him.
“Andrew! Aaron! If you don’t come here right now, God help me, I wi-”
“Nicky!”
Nicky stopped mid-sentence and looked, really looked, at the man for the first time.
“Erik?”
Erik Klose was stood in the midst of the group of people, cheery-as-always smile on his lips, patting the twins’ heads.
“What a nice surprise to see you three here!” He said, “Are you here for the mass?”
“Oh, uh, yes,” Nicky said, coming to stand in front of Erik.
“I’ve never seen you here before,” Erik observed.
“Oh, yeah, that’s because it’s our first time here. We’ve been to a different church before, but, uh…Now we wanted to try this one.” Nicky wouldn’t tell Erik that they actually left their last church because the people didn’t want them there. But when he looked at the somewhat sad smile on Erik’s lips, Nicky thought he might not even have to.
“Well, I hope you’ll like this church. It’s a small community, but everyone here is just wonderful.” Nicky really hoped he was right.
As if she had waited for her cue, an elderly woman came up to them. Her white hair was kept short but elegant and she was wearing a nice dress and carrying an expensive looking purse over her arm.
“Erik!” She said, “Don’t you want to introduce me to these three handsome young men with you?”
Nicky felt his cheeks heat up a bit when he realised she meant him and the twins, and he smiled at her sheepishly. Erik laughed.
“Of course, Mrs Hunter. These are Nicholas and his boys Aaron and Andrew. The twins and I go to kindergarten together, don’t we, boys?”
“Yes!” Aaron agreed with a big smile. Andrew nodded and clung to Erik’s trousers with both hands, eyeing Mrs Hunter sceptically.
“Oh, how lovely,” she exclaimed, clapping her hands together, “What a wonderful surprise. I hope you and your boys will like our little church.”
“I’m sure it’s going to be lovely,” Nicky said, his voice and smile friendly and polite.
“Sometimes I fear the young generation seems to forget about our Lord and the church, so it’s nice to see new, young faces here.” Mrs Hunter seemed like a lovely, old Lady. Nicky liked her. She was a bit like the grandmother he always wanted.
“Oh!” Mrs Hunter exclaimed. Throwing a look inside her purse, she leaned closer to Nicky. “Is it alright to give the boys a little candy? I always carry some in my purse.”
Surprised, Nicky’s lips formed a little ‘Oh’ before he smiled, then laughed.
“Yes, of course, that’s very kind of you.”
“Oh, don’t mention it.” Mrs Hunter waved him off, then produced two candies wrapped in pink foil.
“Would you like a candy, my dears?” She asked, offering them to the twins.
Both boys looked at her hand, then at Nicky. When he nodded, they both went for the offered sweets, each of them taking one from her palm.
“Just don’t tell my husband, or he will want to have one as well,” she joked. The twins didn’t really get the joke, but they still nodded.
“Thank you, Ma’am,” they said in unison and Mrs Hunter clapped her hands in a delighted way.
“Oh, such polite little men, look at them,” she giggled, and watched the boys unwrap the candies. “You’ve done an excellent job on them, Nicholas.”
Nicky felt the hot prickle of pride and joy in his chest and his throat. This was the first time anyone but Allison and Renee told him he did a good job on raising the twins. He almost teared up.
“Thank you,” he said and hoped Mrs Hunter didn’t hear how his voice shook a little.
Shortly after that, it was time to go inside. Erik ushered Nicky and the twins into the church and offered them to sit with him. Of course the twins wouldn’t take a no for that - but Nicky didn’t want to say no anyway. So they ended up sitting in the same bench, with the twins between the two men.
After the service, Erik, Nicky, Andrew and Aaron left the church together, each twin on one of Nicky’s hands.
“That was a wonderful sermon,” Nicky sighed happily. Erik agreed. They stopped a couple feet away from the church entrance, Erik waving goodbye to someone every now and then.
“I hope I’ll see you three here again next sunday, then.”
Erik turned completely towards Nicky now, smiling down at him. Nicky thought the temperature might just have risen a couple degrees.
“Definitely,” he said.
They were silent for a while, just smiling at each other. Nicky’s palms became sweaty and he nervously licked his lips, then averted his eyes, acting like he was looking for the boys, even though they were still both holding his hands, talking to each other about a butterfly that just flew past.
“You know,” Erik said, directing Nicky’s attention back at him, “Actually, there’s a café down the road, and a lovely little playground just a minute further. Would you maybe like to grab some coffee and then go to the playground to let the boys play a bit?”
Nicky’s heart tried to escape his chest, Nicky was sure. It started to beat so hard, it would either punch a hole in his chest or jump out of his throat soon.
“Yes,” Nicky said after a short pause, “Yes. I’d like that.”
***
“That, Nicky, was definitely a date,” Allison insisted for the third time, “He asked you for a date. And you said yes. Hell, he even took the boys. He’s a keeper, my good bitch.”
“Allison, please, the boys could hear you,” Renee said gently.
“How was it then, your not-date?” The way Renee said ‘not-date’, she definitely thought it was a date as well.
It had been lovely. They had sat at the playground for hours; chatting, watching the boys play, laughing. Long after their to-go coffees, which Erik had paid for, had been emptied they were still sitting there. Afterwards, Erik had taken all three of them to get ice cream.
“Oh my God, he even took you out for ice cream. I’m gonna scream if you don’t ask him on another date, honestly.” Allison threw her hands in the air in exasperation. Renee just smiled.
“I don’t think it was a date. He was just trying to be nice,” Nicky said.
“Nicholas Esteban Hemmick. I swear to fucking God. You will go and ask him on a date. I’ll even babysit the boys - voluntarily. See, that’s what I’d do just so you’d get laid and a fucking boyfriend.”
“Oh my God, Allison, shut up!”
“No! Listen. He likes you. I’ve never met the man but even I can tell. What is your plan anyway? Pine for him for the next two years until the twins go to school and then hate yourself for never asking him when you had the chance? There’s no way in hell I’m gonna let you do that. Come on!”
Renee lay a gentle hand on Allison’s thigh and shut her up immediately. Allison still looked like she had a lot to say, but she pressed her red painted lips to a thin line and crossed her arms in front of her chest again. She only let out a small huff and stared angry holes in Nicky’s head.
“Listen, Nicky,” Renee said. Her voice was calm as it always was and she reached for her cup of tea that must be lukewarm by now, but she still took a sip. “I know you’re scared. But I think Allison is right. You should give it a try at least, or you might wonder what could have been for the rest of your life. I understand if you don’t want to, but I think there is something that connects you and Erik. And he does so much for the boys and they love him. So at least you wouldn’t have to worry about that.”
Nicky knew, technically, that the girls were right. And he also knew, technically, that the playground had been a date.
If only things were easy for once in Nicky’s life.
***
The church and the community were lovely. For the first time in two years, Nicky felt welcome when he came to the service on Sundays. Everyone loved the boys, they had always known to show their best behaviour in church. Mrs Hunter brought all different kinds of candy for them every Sunday, until the boys were basically trained to go to her as soon as they saw her in front of the church.
For once, something in Nicky’s life was easy.
It had been three months since their first visit to the small church. Almost every Sunday after the service, Erik took Nicky, Andrew and Aaron somewhere. Sometimes the playground, sometimes they went straight to the ice cream parlor, sometimes they just walked around the park and let the boys climb trees and run ahead a couple feet until they stopped and waited for Erik and Nicky to catch up with them. It felt like something more than just Erik being friendly, but neither of them ever said it out loud. The urge to kiss Erik grew and grew with every Sunday afternoon they spent together.
But, of course, Nicky never gave in to that urge.
One sunny afternoon they were walking through the park; the boys were a couple feet ahead, chasing birds, and Nicky and Erik just walked side by side in comfortable silence. The sun felt nice on Nicky’s face and he closed his eyes for a few seconds. Suddenly, the steps next to him died down.
“...Nicky?”
Nicky stopped, opened his eyes and turned around to face Erik.
“Yeah?”
“I, uh,” Erik cleared his throat. He looked down to his feet, then to where the boys were playing and then back at Nicky. Was he nervous?
“I know I probably shouldn’t say this. I mean, I definitely shouldn’t. It’s very unprofessional of me.” Nicky’s heart started to flutter. He tried to stop it, stop the hopeful tickle that came to life in his stomach, but he couldn’t
“What is it?” He asked, an encouraging smile on his lips.
“I was wondering…” Erik stayed silent for a while. He looked like he was thinking whether he should say his thoughts out loud. Or maybe he was contemplating how to phrase them.
“Would you like to have dinner some time?”
Nicky thought he might have died in that very moment. He didn’t even realise he was just staring at Erik in shock, until Erik shuffled on his feet uncomfortably and stammered:
“I-- I, uh. Sorry. Forget it, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m the boys’ teacher, of course you don’t want to-- Sorry.”
“No!” Nicky suddenly burst out, “I mean-- Yes. Yes, I wanna have dinner with you. I’d love to, actually. I just- When? Because I’m gonna have to get a babysitter and-- Actually, not a babysitter, I have a friend who’d babysit, but, you know, I’d have to ask her if she was free, and then-”
“Friday?” Erik stopped Nicky’s eternal flow of words - nerves, they made him talk without thinking - with a single word and a blinding smile. Nicky nodded quickly.
“Friday. Friday is perfect.” A bright, happy smile spread across Nicky’s face. He chewed on his bottom lip to keep it together, at least a bit, but he didn’t think it was working all that well.
“Perfect,” Erik said and made two steps until he was next to Nicky again, “Let’s go see what the boys are doing over there, shall we?”
“Yes, let’s go.”
They went ahead, towards where the boys were looking at something, probably a bug, behind a tree. They only made it a couple steps until Nicky felt something graze his hand.
As he looked down, he saw Erik’s fingers - carefully, softly - brush against his palm. When Nicky looked up, Erik was looking back at him, a small, uncertain smile on his lips.
Nicky entwined their fingers. Erik gently squeezed his hand in return.
***
For the past half hour, Allison had been sitting on the sofa, her legs crossed, one foot gently swaying up and down and a cup of tea in her hand. In the meantime, Nicky had been busy walking up and down the living room like a maniac, freaking out because of his date, telling Allison about all the ways he was going to fuck it up. Allison had just sat in silence, watching him. Nicky wasn’t even entirely sure she had listened to a single word he said.
Eventually Allison put her empty mug down with a long, suffering sigh.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Hemmick. This isn’t your first goddamn date, is it?”
“Of course it’s not, but this- this is….different,” Nicky whined desperately. He just wanted this to go well. He really, really liked Erik. And he didn’t want to fuck it up for the boys.
“Listen. You’ve got one of the prettiest faces I know - apart from Renee’s and my own, of course. You’re not a complete idiot and Erik already likes you. What can go wrong?”
Of course there was a lot that could go wrong on first dates. But Nicky knew what Allison was trying to say - in her very unique Allison-way - and he stopped in his tracks to look at her.
“I just really want this to work out.” His voice was quiet and nervous and desperate. Allison sighed. Then she got off her seat and went over to Nicky to place a kiss on his forehead, followed by her vigorously rubbing her thumb over the same spot to get the Barbie-pink lipstick off his skin.
“Just be yourself, Nicky. Erik likes Nicky, not someone you try to be just to impress him.” Before Allison could go on, though, the doorbell rang. Immediately, all colour left Nicky’s face.
“Come on, Hemmick, get yourself together and go have an amazing date. I’m not spending my Friday night babysitting just for you to not have a fantastic dinner. Got get him, tiger.” With a slap to his butt, Allison sent Nicky off to the door while she went to the boys’ room to look what they were doing.
Nicky wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans before he reached for the door handle. This was it. There was no going back now.
Erik looked gorgeous - as always. And just as gorgeous as him was the massive bouquet he held in his arms. It was so big, Erik had to raise his chin to grin over it at Nicky.
“I didn’t know what your favourite flowers were, so I got one of each.”
The bouquet was indeed a massive, crazed assemble of all different kinds of flowers, but somehow that just made it even more beautiful. Nicky had to remind himself not to cry.
He took the bouquet from Erik, thanking him a couple of times. As he was arranging it in his arms, three blond heads peaked around the doorframe of the boys’ room into the hallway. Nicky laughed.
“Erik, you know the boys. The third child over there is Allison, my friend who will babysit Aaron and Andrew today.”
“Excuse me?” Allison said scandalised, “I hope you’re not calling me a child, Hemmick.”
“I am.” Nicky said.
“Fudge you.” Allison responded. The boys looked at her in confusion.
“Nice to meet you, Allison,” Erik said with his trademark Erik-smile and extended his hand for her. Allison took it and shook it firmly.
“Nice to meet you, too, Erik,” she said, but her eyes said something different. She squinted at him, as if she was trying to see through him. Suddenly, she gave his hand a pull and Erik, not expecting it, stumbled a couple steps forward until their faces were just mere inches apart. Her voice was low and almost a whisper, to sound intimidating, but also to prevent the twins from hearing what she said.
“Listen, pretty boy, if you break Nicky’s heart I will murder you. I have enough money to hire three hitmen to find you and kill you in your sleep-”
“Oookay, Allison, that’s enough, thanks, you can go back to play with the boys now!” Hurriedly Nicky pushed Allison away, his head bright read and his face panicked. What on earth was she doing?
But after an initial moment of shock on his face, Erik just burst out laughing, bright and sincere. Everyone looked at him. Slowly he calmed down, but a big, amused grin stayed behind on his face.
“Don’t worry,” he said to Allison, “I’m planning to make Nicky the happiest man in the world, so you can save your money for something else.”
Both Allison and Nicky just stared at Erik for a while. Nicky’s brain all but melted in his skull. Until now, he never understood the saying of having butterflies in your belly - but now it felt like at least a thousand of them were having a party in his stomach. Slowly, a satisfied expression settled on Allison’s face.
“Good.” She said, “Because I don’t expect anything less for him.” Just like that some weird sort of agreement was formed between the two and Nicky felt like he missed something. What was going on here? He thanked the heavens, when Andrew raised his voice and broke the weird moment.
“Erik, why are you at our home? Don’t you have to be at the kindergarten?”
Erik chuckled and shook his head.
“No, today I have to be here and deliver some flowers to Nicky and then take him to have some nice dinner.”
“Can we come, too?”
“No, you two are gonna stay here with me,” Allison said and made a hand gesture that told the boys to go back to their room, “We’re gonna have a lot more fun than those two anyway. I bought a new toy for us to try tonight, how about we take a look at that?”
Happily the twins accepted that and ran back to their room. Before Allison could even go after them, they had found said toy in her purse and went to unpack it. Allison grinned, threw another look at the two men and then followed the boys.
Nicky sighed, but couldn’t help but smile.
“I’m so sorry,” he then said to Erik, but he shook his head.
“No, there’s nothing to be sorry about. I appreciate her being worried about you, she’s your friend. Even if her ways of expressing her concern might be a bit...different, her friendship is still admirable.” Nicky agreed. He knew he was lucky to have friends like Allison and Renee, who always had his back.
Nicky put the flowers in a vase - he had to look a bit until he found one in a kitchen cabinet - gave each twin a kiss to the forehead, told them to behave, then told Allison to behave as well, thanked her for being the babysitter for tonight and then him and Erik were off to their date.
The restaurant was lovely. It wasn’t too fancy, but definitely nothing Nicky would usually go to. Erik took Nicky’s coat from him, pulled the chair out and was all in all just the perfect gentleman all night long. They had amazing food, they had some wine and they laughed a lot. Every now and then, Erik would reach across the table to squeeze Nicky’s hand, and Nicky would brush his fingertips along Erik’s knuckles. His skin was so soft.
Erik made him so many compliments, Nicky thought he might never stop blushing or giggling. One time, he wound one of Nicky’s dark curls around his finger.
“I’ve always really liked your hair, you know. It’s just so...you.” Once he said that, he ran his finger down Nicky’s temple, his cheek and along his jaw. A shudder ran all the way down Nicky’s spine.
The dinner was over way too quickly. Well, technically they had been out for hours, but it felt like minutes. On their way back to Nicky’s flat, they sat close enough for their thighs to touch in the taxi. It all felt like a dream to Nicky, the things Erik said, their touching thighs, their hands clasped together on Erik’s knee - it was too good to be true.
“I’ll bring you to your door, if that’s alright with you,” Erik said, smiling. Nicky agreed, so Erik came all the way up to his flat with him, but didn’t enter when Nicky unlocked the door.
“I had a wonderful night,” he said. His voice was soft and quiet. “I hope you did, too.”
“Of course,” Nicky said, “I loved every second of it.”
“Well, then I hope we can do it again soon.” Oh, how Nicky hoped that, too. For all Nicky cared, they could do it again right away. He wouldn’t mind.
“Nicky?” Erik came closer, but still didn’t step over the threshold of Nicky’s flat.
“Yes?” Nicky didn’t move when Erik came closer. He stayed exactly where he was. Now Erik was so close, Nicky could smell his cologne and feel his breath on his skin.
One of Erik’s hand reached for Nicky’s face and gently cupped his cheek in its palm. He ran his thumb along the cheekbone and they stood in silence for an eternity until Erik whispered:
“Can I kiss you?”
The response wasn’t a word. Instead, Nicky got on his tiptoes and leaned in, his hands reaching up to brace himself against Erik’s chest, his chin raised until their lips met.
Erik’s lips were just as soft as Nicky had imagined them to be. All those times he dreamed about them, wondered what they would feel like, wondered what Erik would taste like. He tasted like happiness. He tasted like a future Nicky never thought he would have.
There was a hand on Nicky’s back carefully pulling him closer, and Nicky let himself be pulled into an embrace. Only now did he realise how strong Erik really was, how safe it made him feel to be in his arms, pressed against his chest with Erik’s breath on his skin and his mouth on his own. This was where he was meant to be. Nicky just knew it.
Even after they broke the kiss they stayed close, their foreheads touching, eyes closed, just breathing each other in. In this moment, Nicky knew he was lost. He needed this, he needed Erik like he needed air.
“I should go,” Erik whispered against Nicky’s lips.
“But-,” Nicky started.
“No, I really should,” Erik shook his head, softly, “If I don’t, I might break the promise I made myself today.”
“What promise?” Nicky asked.
“That I wouldn’t try to get anything but a kiss from you, but-- Fuck, Nicky. You make it so hard.”
Nicky didn’t mean to - but when Erik said that he suddenly burst out laughing.
“What?” Erik asked, confused and uncertain.
“I make it hard, huh?”
It took Erik a couple seconds to understand, but then his cheeks started to burn a bright red before he burst out laughing himself.
“Oh, for crying out loud, Nicky! That’s not what I meant.”
“Yeah, sure,” Nicky giggled and knocked his hip jokingly into Erik’s before making a step back. It might have been the hardest thing he ever did.
“Thank you for tonight,” he said. They exchanged another kiss, a quick, fleeting one that left Nicky aching for more.
“Thank you, too. I will see you in church.”
“Yes, see you on Sunday.”
“Text me?”
“Of course.”
Nicky watched Erik walk down the hall and only closed the door when he was out of sight.
Suddenly, Nicky felt giddy and overwhelmingly happy. He turned around and all but sprinted to the living room, knowing Allison would be there and she was, sitting on the sofa, glass of red wine in her hand and a knowing grin on her lips.
“Hey there, loverboy,” she greeted him.
“Hi, Allison,” Nicky replied and let himself fall into the seat next to her. She leaned forward and filled another glass that she had brought with her to give it to Nicky. He took it with a quick ‘thanks’.
“So,” Allison said, letting the word roll off her tongue, “I take it the date went well?”
“Oh, it was amazing,” Nicky sighed dreamily.
“Yeah, I heard you make things hard for Erik.” Allison grinned again, and Nicky didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or amused.
“You heard that?!”
“I also saw you to going at it, Hemmick, but I’m not surprised you didn’t notice me standing in the doorway, you looked quite busy.”
“Oh my God! You fucking stalker!” Nicky laughed and hit her shoulder gently.
“Hey, if I babysit your little monsters for you, I have the right to see whether it was for nothing or not.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Well, go on then. Tell me all about it, I’m all ears,” Allison demanded. And Nicky told her about their date in excruciating detail. By the time he was done, they had opened another bottle of wine and curled up on the couch together beneath a blanket.
“I’m glad you had a good night,” Allison mumbled tiredly and pressed a kiss to Nicky’s cheek.
“You deserve it.”