Archive of Our Own ^beta

Eddy stormed out from his house into the cool night air. He was so angry that steam practically whistled out from his ears.

He was fine. There was nothing wrong with him!

‘Eddy, we think you need therapy.’ his mother said to him with clear worry and fear in her voice.

Therapy? Who the heck wants to waste their time in therapy?! He was fine. He would work everything out by himself just like always!

Eddy headed out from the cul-de-sac, ignoring his parents calling for him to come back home. Eddy just wanted to be alone.

Little did Eddy know that he was being watched by a certain friend.

-

Eddy sat himself in the dirt on a vacant hill which looking over the cul-de-sac. All the lights were still on in the little neighborhood. It looked brighter, and safer then it did in this spot with dark trees hanging over him as if they were claws. The moon was half full that night. It wasn’t lighting up the area like how it did on their journey a few days ago.

It had only been two days since he saw his brother.

Everything was different now.

He and his friends were finally accepted by the others. Yesterday was one of the best days of his life. Along with the worst. His body still ached from being thrown all around by his brother. He still couldn’t walk without a limp from how it was violently twisted.

They had spent the remainder of yesterday at Kevin’s eating jawbreakers after returning home. Finally hanging out with the other kids felt… good? Eddy still wasn’t sure how to feel about the sudden kindness and acceptance. It almost felt as if he didn’t deserve it.

“Thanks for coming, guys. It was fun,” Kevin sounded appreciative as he gave Eddy’s shoulder a friendly pat once they stepped out into the fresh night air.

“Sure was, Kev. Let’s have this again sometime,” Eddy jovially agreed. He remembered smiling. Was it fake? Or real?

“Totally. 'Night, Eddy!’

Eddy remembered when Kevin held up his fist and he flinched thinking Kevin were going to hurt him.

It was only a friendly fist bump.

'Eddy, we think you need therapy.’

Finally noticing his surroundings Eddy saw how dark it was. The branches scratched along one another making this eerie sound. It made shivers run up Eddy’s spine. He didn’t want to be out here by himself, but he didn’t want to go home.

He had no idea what was around him other then the trees.

But, what if he wasn’t alone.

Would his brother ever come back to hunt down for revenge? He hit him in the face with a door for Christ sake! Why wouldn’t he try and get revenge?

'I thought you wanted to hang with your hero,” His brother’s eerie voice mocked Eddy’s being destroying his every positive thought that his brother’s nature may have changed in the eight years.

Another chill ran up Eddy’s spine. His heart painfully pounded inside his chest.

That stupid jerk never cared about him. All these years Eddy told himself that all the pain was his brothers way of loving him. That was so stupid! He wasted his childhood hiding behind his brothers mask to earn acceptance.

Everyone hated him. Or had hated him. Do they all still hate him?

Eddy hated himself.

He took others money, pushed his best friends around who were only trying to help him, and lead everyone to his messed up brother who could have harmed them all.

Tears threatened Eddy’s eyes.

God, I’m stupid, stupid, stu-

Eddy stopped, realizing that he was hitting himself in the head.

'Eddy, we think you should get therapy.’

His parents had been worried about him for years now. They were scared that Eddy was following in the same tracks as his brother through all the scams and increasing negative behavior. They knew that the five years his brother lived with him really affected Eddy.

They disowned his brother.

That awful day his brother wreaked havoc in the cul-de-sac, caused a bunch of birds to go insane, hospitalized an old man, and abandoned his unconscious best friend.

The only reason his older brother saved Eddy was because Mom and Dad would be mad.

Eddy’s throat tightened.

The darkness was all around him. It felt as if a hand was going to form through the darkness and grab him. His home was better then here, but he was too scared to move.

He was so pathetic. A loser. Nobody liked him. But, he was not-

'Eddy, where do you think you’re going? Get back in this house now!’

'Watch me!’

-his brother.

His brother always walked out from the house. He never obeyed any of his parents orders.

Eddy was his brother.

Tears slipped down his cheeks as he slid his head into his arms and closed his eyes.

Please, let the darkness go away…

A twig snapped. “Eddy?” came a familiar voice.

Eddy let out a scream bolting around to see that it was only Edd.

“Jeez, sockhead, what’s with the idea of almost scaring me?!” Eddy yelled trying to catch his breath.

The first thing Edd noticed were the tears. “What’s the matter?”

Eddy swiftly removed the tears and sat with his back facing Edd. “Nothin’! Just go away!“ He stared at the reassuring lights in the neighborhood. It looked so far away. Was it late? One of the lights in the houses had gone out, dimming a part of the neighborhood.

Edd approached him and sat down next to Eddy.

"Why are you here?” Eddy grumbled noticing a look of pity in Edd’s eyes.

“Why are you here?” Edd asked definitely, for any argument that may ensue.

“What’s it to yah?” Eddy badgered. He crossed his arms tighter, feeling cornered in a way.

“I saw you walk out of your house with quite a temper.” Edd nervously explained staring down at the ground. He felt guilty that he had spied on his friend. Still it was for his own good.

“So?”

“Did you and your parents have a quarrel?” Edd asked concerned.

Eddy sighed. “Yeah. well, I mean, there wasn’t much fighting, just disagreeing.”

“What did they say to you?”

“Nothin’!” Eddy huffed.

Edd’s demeanor turned more serious now. “Eddy, you wouldn’t be out here if they didn’t say anything.”

“Why is this so important to you?” Eddy was practically barricading the tears by a thread. He’d done enough crying in the past few days. Only a baby cried.

“Because I’m your friend and I want to help you,” Edd earnestly stated reaching out to touch Eddy’s shoulder. Eddy only flinched away trying to avoid Edd, including looking at him.

They were silent. Edd stayed. Eddy reluctantly agreed to himself that Edd wasn’t going to leave this spot unless he started talking. That was the only way.

"My parents want me to get therapy,” Eddy admitted, his voice slightly muffled in his folded arms.

Edd immediately took his eyes off the setting. "I think that’s a great idea…”

“No, it ain’t! I’m not wasting me time talking to some person I don’t even know. I’m fine!”

Eddy stared miserably at the ground. In all actuality that was a lie. He was far from fine. Eddy may not know it, but with his mind like this, he was at great risk.

“Eddy, I think your parents are right. Therapy will be good for you…”

“Therapy my ass!” Eddy gritted through his teeth.

“You see, Eddy!” Edd waved his hands in front of him. “This is what I’m talking about. You don’t let anybody in! This all could have been avoided if you told everyone the truth about your brother!”

Feeling insulted, Eddy grabbed Edd tightly by his arm. “Don’t you know I wanted to do that?! He made me think that he actually cared about me, but he didn’t!”

Guilt washed over Eddy’s face upon realization that he was gripping Edd’s arm so tightly that it could leave a red mark. He let go, fear residing deep within himself. His brother always gripped his, or anybody’s, arm like that. He practically broke his arm when Eddy was four.

Eddy briefly stared into Edd’s eyes before retreating to look back at the neighborhood He then stated brokenly, "He never did. So many times I wanted to tell you and Ed, but I couldn’t,”

That confession felt so wonderful. But, it made him uneasy letting his friends into his dark world. They didn’t deserve that. They didn’t deserve him.

Eddy felt Edd’s arm around his shoulder. This time he didn’t smack it away. He liked the comfort. It made him feel safe.

The tears were threatening him again. Every time he pictured his brother’s nightmarish face, Eddy saw his own. He was going to look like that.

"I’m not going to therapy.” Eddy stated once again, holding his ground.

“Why?”

“I don’t want to go!” Eddy hollered. He was trying to make Edd flinch, but it was no use. Edd just stared at him. He was trying to see inside of him, trying to find out all his secrets.

Edd removed the comforting arm, much to Eddy’s dismay. “Because you don’t want to let anybody in?” he asked.

“N-No.”

“So they won’t know that you physically harm yourself…” Edd continued.

“Stop talking!” Eddy’s voice echoed into the dark woods. Little did he know he scared off a rabbit.

“And that you’re in the danger of having a mental breakdown.”

“Shut up! Just, shut up!” Eddy hid himself behind his hands finally letting out such heavy sobs. He shook so hard that he almost choked on each breath.

Edd wrapped his arms around his shoulders and lightly brought Eddy’s head to rest on his shoulder. He gently moved his hands away and lightly wiped Eddy’s eyes with a handkerchief.

Eddy stared at the cul-de-sac, but the only thing that he caught sight of was his house.

“They think I’m him,” Eddy’s voice cracked through the tears.

“Who?” Edd asked.

“I’m turning into my brother.”

“Eddy, you’re not…”

“The night he left my parents said to him, either its therapy or you can get out of this house. He left and so did I.“ Eddy sat up and looked at Edd with the most broken look ever. "I-I don’t want to be like him. I don’t want to turn into him… I-I don’t want…”

“Come here, Eddy,” Edd more so commanded holding his vacant arms out. Eddy didn’t hesitate to lunge into his best friend’s arms, gripped the shirt who let the tears fall on him. He never felt so safe in a hug. He always steered away from the affection, believing he’d only look weak.

“There there. Everything will be alright,” Edd comforted rubbing Eddy’s back in circles.

They stayed in this embrace for the longest time until Eddy opened his eyes. The neighborhood came into view once more. Only four lights remained on in the houses. The darkness wasn’t so intimidating when someone else was here.

“Edd?”

“Yes?”

Eddy nuzzled into Edd’s shoulder, gripping his shoulder a little tighter. “I just want to be me, but I don’t know how.”

“That’s why you need therapy.” Edd said to him.

Eddy was quiet, sniffling.

“You need help, Eddy.” Edd sounded as if he were going to cry now. “You’ve been hurting yourself both physically and mentally. Ed and I want you to be okay. Therapy is going to help everything make sense. You need this. Please.”

Edd sounded as if he were begging. Until two days ago he never knew how important his friends were to him. Ed and Edd looked up to him. He wished Ed could be here also, but his punishment for leaving without permission prevented him from leaving his house. Together they explored the world. They were always there for one another.

Sighing, Eddy said, “Okay.”

Edd took a breath of relief. Although he wasn’t admitting it, Eddy too felt better.

“Come on, I’ll walk you home.” Edd smiled helping his friend up from the ground. Their hands hugged one another. Eddy stared at this new kindled affection. He didn’t want to let go, feeling safer.

“Thanks for coming out here.” He said to Ed, gripping his hand a little tighter while walking through the forest of trees.

“What are friends for?” And Edd returned the squeeze.