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Expectations of being a person you were never meant to be served as a personal prison for those who would only ever view the inability to do so as a personal failure; being born in the wrong body did not help alleviate with feeling wrong for existing in the first place. Virgil had been so ashamed of revealing his true identity that the others had no idea, which seemed ideal at first even with the ever-growing weight of the accumulation of fears over the years after being rejected once in the past.
“You’ll never be a real man unless you completely transition,” a slight older lover had remarked one evening after acts of intense intimacy had long since passed, the only evidence besides their naked bodies being the cooling release left inside him, “Until then don’t expect to be treated any different.”
“Where is this coming from?”
“Let’s see… Trying to have sex with a shirt on, correcting me when I called you my baby girl. Need I go on?”
“I didn’t think you’d notice.”
“Foolish mistake, Vi-”
“Virgil.”
“I’m not used to the name you prefer, my dear.”
The conversation dropped after the alibi had dealt a dangerous amount of damage while a stale atmosphere of their combined scents mixed with wisps of thin smoke wafting from the end of a lit cigarette. Muscles tightening in response to an unwanted, unoccupied gloved hand cupping a barely noticeable breast, the younger counterpart of the couple could only shrink away internally or be met with half-hearted attempts at apologizing for using incorrect pronouns.
Scenes like those turned him too timid to even approach the conversation with anyone else even after managing to escape from a relationship he would rather forget about entirely. If it had not been for a brave knight brandishing a short, slender sword there was no doubt in his mind that an alternative ending would have been carried out from not being able to cope correctly.
“What is it you want now, Prince of Perversion?”
“Word has gotten around in the kingdom about your treatment of a fair maiden.”
“While she is quite fair her womanhood has been taken many a time.”
Taken aback by such a claim the member of royalty scanned the small cottage with the intent of finding the rumored captive when a softened gaze fell upon the small frame curled into drawn up knees in a far corner shaking with silent tears. Weapon sheathed, he approached with overdramatic footsteps in order to let it be known that someone was steadily approaching when he kneeled a few inches away to give personal space, “Is it you, pray tell?”
Peeking through unkempt bangs that served to hide a feminine forehead from view when a sudden movement caused Virgil to duck his face from view all over again; what minute details he had caught of the newcomer caused an already anxiously driven heart to pound even harder, thin muscle fluttering from overstimulation as he blindly fell into slender outstretched arms, “Y-Yes…”
“I don’t mean this to be rude, but you look more like a boy.”
Paralyzed by the lone golden eye that narrowed intimidatingly, Virgil’s lips clenched together in an unbreakable hold; not wanting to give away being the bad guy, Deceit had simply made it seem as if he were afraid to continue speaking rather than have him physically cover pale lips with slim fingers.
“You seem to leave her speechless…”
“What have you done to her? She’s skin and bone!”
“I’ve had to teach obedience somehow… You’ll soon realize, Roman, how wrong she is,” he hissed out, a slight smirk lifting white scales gleaming with a silent sense of accomplishment, “I never wanted to hurt anyone, but she gave me no choice. Such a bratty child has to be put in place, don’t you agree?”
Appalled by such claims the prince disregarded the arguable alibi in favor of tending to the wounded damsel, grunting as he lifted the other up into the air as arms wrapped around his broad neck for support that had never been shown. With a final glance at the cloaked figure Roman returned to the slightly stuffy atmosphere outside as the sun began to set, chest swelling with the fact that he had been able to rescue someone in dire need without resorting to senseless violence despite how much he craved to cleave the slithering serpent in half.
“Roman!” another voice echoed across the front yard of the opposite facing house, bringing his attention back to the task at hand once the unknown presence ran the remaining few feet that separated them, “Did you find her?”
“Mission accomplished, at least halfway… I’ll need to reclaim her belongings.”
At that mention the nonverbal person that had perched comfortably against a billowing tunic with eyes half-lidded snapped open while fighting to get out of a protective hold. Head shaking and creating whiplash, he was ignored in favor of the professionally dressed person guiding him indoors as Roman disappeared despite being warned.
“You seem concerned over him, but Ro is more than capable of fending for himself,” the other stated matter-of-factly, a firm hand pressed against slightly slumped forward shoulders as the stranger was settled into a dining room chair, “I’m Logan, by the way. Would you like some tea to help calm you down?”
Eyebrow arched curiously the offer made Virgil all the more wary, for he had not been gendered correctly once upon entering the quaint little cottage, a blush heating his cheeks upon realizing the misunderstanding, “Oh, the drink?”
“What did you think I meant?”
“N-Nothing, forget it…” he mumbled, sharp incisor clamping a sore mouth closed at speaking without permission. Heated skin spreading to the collar of a faded black shirt, dark brown eyes avoided the host while attentive ears listened closely to each click of heeled shoes. Of course it was too good to be true, these people only wanted to treat him the same as Deceit had, yet when he braced for being beaten the older one approached his side left just as quickly, “Y-You… didn’t hit me?”
“Why would I, dear?”
“I spoke out of turn…”
“I asked you a question and you gave an answer. That’s how conversations work if I’m not mistaken.”
“Guess so.”
Hearing a quiet hum in thought a slightly chipped lavender mug was taken between both palms and sipped at slowly so as not to scald himself too badly; the slight stings were constant reminders that no matter where he went Deceit would always be one step ahead. He had ensured that these men would not question the fact that his outward appearance did not match the body forced to reside in. Scents of honey mixed in with the beverage should have calmed down anyone who was high-strung, but it only served to catch him more off guard as faded memories regained full color, the shattering of glass on beech wood slabs stained amber, the sticky substance swirling around the ruined container in a masterpiece of disaster.
“Vi-?” Logan started, cut off by a sudden apology spewed out in repeat until the words lost any meaning as the thin frame began to shudder uncontrollably, “It was an accident, it’ll be alright.”
“I should clean it, I-I’m sorry.”
“It’s not that big of a deal, okay? Patton will come clean it up while we get you to calm down.”
After a moment of stammered out refusals to leave the newcomer had been convinced that no harm would come as a result, Virgil fell into another bout of silence as a runny nose sniffled behind a borrowed dark blue handkerchief. Following Logan without question the two entered a large expanse of white tile leading to three shallow stairs that entered into a wide, circular bathtub, the sight nearly blinding the younger one as a hiss of surprise was let out, “My eyes!”
“Let me dim the lights,” he suggested, leaning back slightly to swivel a switch downward as a sigh of relief filled the air after the intensity was adjusted, “Why don’t you go ahead and freshen up a bit? I always find warm water helps soothes my worries.”
“T-Thanks, that sounds nice.”
“Excellent! I’ll fetch you a change of clothes although I doubt we have the appropriate undergarments…”
“Boxers are fine,” Virgil replied with a sudden surge of excitement that caught them both off guard, sensitive stomach constricting with self-consciousness as the other gave a single nod before closing the door behind him, “Smooth, Virge…”
Trying to ignore how awkward of a first interaction he already had a defeated sigh echoed around the open space as the inevitable undressing process came. First layer removed in a single swoop jagged, unkempt fingernails tugged at the similarly shaded binder a size too small, yet he could not figure out if the fight to be free from flattening fabric or having to face what was hidden by it was worse.
Shaken by how long it took to peel away every article after he had gotten the courage to expose the naked body loathed beyond words Virgil finally approached the top step leading into the lukewarm pool, startled by a jet of bubbles massaging into a neglected lower back before sinking lower to let his collarbone be massaged. Getting used to the steady stream he felt more at ease with using a half-filled bottle of men’s shampoo after giving a giddy giggle doing something that would have been considered taboo in his old life.
Reluctantly removing himself from the watery depths he took time to bask in a mellow state that was quite unfamiliar, not wanting to face reality right away even as freshly laid out clothing was pulled into place. Expectantly that feeling could not last long as realization kicked in that the previous outfit was nowhere to be found, breathing hitching haphazardly while he searched every inch of space despite it being in vain when an unnoticed note hanging on to a slightly misty mirror by a lone piece of tape caught narrowly focused attention.
Your old clothes looked like they could use some washing, so I took it upon myself to put them in the laundry. Don’t worry, your undershirt is hang drying in the next room. -Logan
Blinking a couple of times the scrawling script was reread multiple times; it did not register that someone else would know how to care for an expensive piece of equipment, which could only mean his cover was already blown. Muttering a curse under his breath, Virgil braced for the onslaught of questions that were bound to arise from finding out new, uncommon knowledge as he stepped into the adjacent bedroom to be met with a sympathetic look.
“Feeling better?’
“Much so, thanks,” he mused, ruffling a tuft of dark hair while approaching the man settled against a pile of pillows, “Nice room you’ve got here by the way, nothing I’ve ever seen in my lifetime.”
“Appreciated, I got lucky. Patton didn’t want to have a room so far away in case something happens, he’s a classic worrier.”
“You keep talking about him, but I’ve not met him yet.”
“He works at a hospital, so he’s on call. Should be up bright and early for breakfast though.”
Nodding silently in answer a growing feeling of dread took over as scenarios filled his mind of the third member of this household not wanting a complete stranger staying here. Too tired to put up a fight he slumped into the empty space beside the regular resident ignoring any uncertain feeling that this might be considered scandalous, relaxed muscles melding into the plush mixture of fabrics pressing into the back of a borrowed shirt, “I, uh, saw the note you left.”
“I hope that didn’t cross any lines, I wanted to make sure your belongings were taken proper care of.”
“I’m surprised that someone else knew how to wash a binder.”
“Believe it or not I’ve dated a few trans men before falling for the men in this house.”
“I don’t blame you, Roman is rather handsome.”
“Isn’t he?” Logan asked rhetorically, the two sharing in a fit of laughter to calm any leftover tension when his throat cleared, “On a more serious note, he found some vials with your birth name scratched out.”
“I’ve wanted to start taking hormones, but I knew Deceit would notice the changes… Plus, I’ve never given myself a shot.”
“We only met an hour ago, but I’d be willing to help. If you’d want it that is?”
“P-Please…?”
On edge in case this was somehow a set up disguised the younger one dared not to look away for even a second while a needle was uncapped after attaching to a syringe, razor sharp point dipping past a thin sheet of foil as a careful eye measured out the correct dosage. Paper crinkling with a light tear down the middle an alcohol swipe was lathered a few times repeatedly over the injection site in an upper arm agreed upon between both parties to calm away residual nerves pent up at the thought of being stuck with a needle, “Close your eyes and count to ten.”
“Aloud?”
“If it helps,” the scholarly looking man remarked in a gentle tone, tongue poking out between pursed lips in concentration waiting for the signal to go ahead and pull the plunger once it was inserted safely inside the other, “How does it feel to be on testosterone?”
“Better than I could ever imagine.”
“Wonderful to hear.”
Marveling at the barely noticeable pinprick left behind prior to it being covered with a tiny, circular bandage a jolt of elated emotions caused him to cross another boundary that would never even be considered in any other situation, lanky arms wrapping under a knotted blue and black striped tie; worried about making him uncomfortable, Virgil kept the hug relatively short, yet he was held in place by crossed forearms pulling the other into a button-down covered chest.
“I don’t know how to repay either of you…”
“No need, we’re glad to have you here. I can’t speak for Pat, but I’m sure he’ll be delighted as well.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Well, he’s like a father figure,” Logan started to explain while packing away the medicine into a side drawer for easy access when it was next needed, “He’s allergic to cats, but he’s taken in strays on multiple occasions.”
“Hopefully he’ll be just as welcoming to me.”
“I have no doubts. Now, how about we get you into bed?”
“Do I… have to sleep alone?”
Instead of responding verbally the logically inclined one simply slipped beneath a black bedspread speckled with stars after folding a pair of slacks set aside on the corner of a nearby desk along with folded glasses, a pair of similarly styled pajama bottoms replacing the formal attire, a plain white shirt worn instead of the long-sleeved business casual look. Folding back a corner of the comforter in an inviting manner answered the younger one’s wandering eyes, Virgil slipping into welcomed warmth with an inch between them in order to offer some sort of personal space.
“You can scoot closer if you want. Not trying to force anything, but-.”
“Deceit never let me cuddle,” he stated barely above a whisper while pressing between a set of ribs and shoulder completely forgetting about worrying over whether or not he was being invasive, “I’ve always wanted to.”
“Well, I’m honored to offer you the opportunity.”
Always on edge as a learned skill from living around someone who was so unpredictable, Virgil usually would have immediately awoken at the sound of light movements though he laid in a daze with half-lidded eyes. Spine stretching with a few audible pops he curled back into the cocoon of blankets when a soft chuckle brought him into awareness, the reminder of not being alone comforting after initial alarm.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.”
“Instinct is all,” he relented, rolling over to face the other when he caught a glimpse of the time, “Shit, I overslept! I need to-”
“Shh, it's alright, you were exhausted. Besides, we would rather have you fully rested before breakfast.”
“What about chores? Dee always made me do them if I wanted food.”
“Things are done differently around here.”
“It's not a trick?”
“No, sir. Now, let's join the others before Roman decides to barge in.”
Not wanting to argue any longer about the subject the younger one silently followed downstairs to be bombarded by a combination of different smells. Growling stomach getting in the way of manners he rushed into the dining room where he was met with an unexpected sight of the two caught in a moment of passion, the royal member carding thick fingers through the other's hair as a sheen of steam stained similar spectacles.
“Gentleman…” the scholar interrupted once he caught up, a light palm barely pressing into the small of Virgil’s back as he was led to a seat.
“Sorry Lo, he snuck up on me!” the other giggled after embarrassment at being caught quickly wore off, “He tried to get a muffin before you two came down, I had to try stopping him.”
“Please, you fell for my charm as always.”
Rolling his eyes the chef returned to tending sizzling strips of bacon on the stove while Roman wrapped around his small middle, pale pink cheeks burying against an unprotected neck as arousal was hidden in plain view.
“We tend to be rather open about our affection here. Comes with the territory of sharing boyfriends.”
“That's an option? Being with more than one person?”
“It was a struggle at first to adjust, but we've made it work thanks to the man Ro’s attached at the hip to.”
“Hope that doesn't bother you, kiddo, being the only girl!”
“...Not at all.”
“Oh, where are my manners? I'm Patton,” he called over his shoulder, peeling off well-toned biceps before an assorted plate was placed in front of the newcomer, “Eat up, there's plenty to go around.”
Giving a half-hearted smile in gratitude despite an inkling of dysphoria spreading slowly, he tried to ignore the unsettling emotions in favor of stabbing at fluffy scrambled eggs, pulling apart a piece of muffin between bites. Not making eye contact with the newly introduced person a knotted stomach was pushed past in order to appear normal even though there was evidence that meals had been skipped, giving monosyllable answers to questions he felt comfortable acknowledging.
“You lived with Deceit?” the oldest member asked after sipping chocolate milk through a neon orange looping straw, “I bet it’s quite the opposite from here.”
“Quite, I rarely got a full meal unless we had guests.”
“That’s unfortunate… I hope that was the only mistreatment you endured.”
“From him, yes.”
Mouth opened to ask for specifics Logan interrupted with the suggestion of going on a mid-morning walk after their stomachs had properly digested, which only furthered the innocent demeanor to return to the adult across the table. Excitedly babbling about the idea attention was averted to hurriedly putting away dishes to be tended to later on once scraps had been scraped into the garbage disposal, Virgil taking the opportunity to follow his roommate back to some sort of order amongst the chaos.
For an unknown reason he had immediately warmed up to the logical one, yet when it came to the others his normal reaction kicked in to keep them from seeing the mess he was as a person. Mind racing with critiques of how the conversation could have gone better in various ways the anxious one was far too distracted to notice light weight fabric filling the spaces between narrow fingers, blinking back tears that only started to flow even faster when the object was identified as his undershirt, “You brought this to me…?”
“You were distressed and I figured that would help,” Logan replied after placing a peck in the middle of a folded hand with a small smile to follow, “I’ll leave you to change, good sir.”
Gently giggling at the formality he almost begged for Logan to stay, but thought better of it instead upon remembering the vague response he had given downstairs. A few times he had given up hope in escaping from a life with the snake-like individual and instead of seeking help in fear of being beaten within an inch of his life; at that point he wanted to be the one who did the honors, yet the scars along inner arms and thighs proved he could not even do that right.
“Don’t give them any more reasons to hate you,” he mused to the reflection in a floor length mirror attached to the closet as the constricting piece of clothing came into contact with his chest while the hem was tucked into the waistband of a borrowed pair of pants, “At least Logan kind of gets it…”
“That’s what the nerd’s used to.”
Startled by the unexpected presence the younger one shrunk in on himself recognizing Roman in the doorway from where he stood, exposed without warning in a flushing mess from frozen fear. Not knowing how to approach the awkward atmosphere settling around them wary eyes watched unwavering as the mistake made was noticed, a bundle of monochromatic clothing falling in front of booted feet as an apology started to form on plush pink lips, “I-I’m sorry, I’m just used to walking in on Lo. I would never walk in on a damsel in-”
“I’m not one, I’m a boy!”
“Wha… Oh, you mean…”
“It’s exhausting having to pretend I’m someone else,” he stated, arms crossed to control how uncomfortable he felt with this confrontation, “I shouldn’t have yelled.”
“No worries, you have every right to be upset.”
“Why are you even here when Logan isn’t?”
“Laundry,” the prince said simply as he bent over to gather the neatly folded squares, “I’m guessing these belong to you.”
“That’s all I was comfortable wearing around Dee…”
“Well, if you’d like I can give you some pointers. To make up for walking in and all.”
“You could help?”
“Well, I don’t mean to brag… Oh who am I kidding? I’m sort of a fashion expert if you couldn’t tell!”
Snorting softly at the self-confidence radiating from the royal one Virgil considered the offer for only a moment, for it seemed sincere to make amends as well as an opportunity to try getting closer to someone else. Fingers twined with an outstretched hand he was hurriedly pulled along to another domain further down the carpeted hall he was overwhelmed by the vast amount of frilly decorations, settling amongst a sea of glitter covered cushions once a thin veil surrounding the mattress was pushed aside while different outfits were matched together and critiqued once they were each worn for the first time.
“No, that simply won’t do!” Roman declared, tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth as a scoop-necked charcoal shirt with the words ‘Take me to Paris’ emblazoned on the front in white font hugged the other’s shoulders, “Your straps are showing.”
“That doesn’t bother me much.”
“Does it make you feel any less manly?”
“Not really. If anything it symbolizes how I’ve tried running from my problems by traveling. All those thoughts caught up eventually though.”
“That was… Poetic.”
“I used to dabble in the arts when I was a teenager. Some of it stuck with me, I guess?”
“Indeed,” the prince remarked with a slight smirk that resulted in him having a moment of revelation, tearing through the walk-in closet to pull out dark blue jeans stained with flecks of paint, “You might like these then, if they fit.”
“I don’t want to take any of your clothes…”
“If you like them they’d be better used than collecting dust for who knows how long.”
Taking that into account he timidly took the offered pants, stripping down to the borrowed underwear, bare legs replaced by loose denim that stopped just around bony ankles, “Boot cut?”
“No, surprisingly. They’re unisex.”
“You don’t shop for men’s clothes?”
“I do, but it depends on the day for me,” he explained with no alteration to a boastful attitude with the reveal, “‘Course I don’t experience it is as badly though I get not feeling right.”
“That’s comforting…”
Still surprised by the sudden sincerity shared in between being of help by bringing out more articles that hugged his body in weirdly comforting ways, Virgil could not help regarding the man in a different light altogether while company was shared long after pointers were presented to help with passing in public. In the beginning when he had been rescued a part of the anxious one had been intimidated by the structured build since he knew there was no reasonable way to reach that kind of physique especially with such a scrawny body, yet for an unknown reason he could not stop stroking a muscular abdomen leaning into the other’s lap.
“Quite a bold move on your part,” Roman responded with a purr, thick palm cupping a slender cheek as the younger one tried to look away ashamedly, lips awkwardly bumping together prolonged to prove that he did not mind the imperfections of the romantic gesture, “I hope that wasn’t too forward of me.”
“I mean, I sort of started it, so we’re even.”
“I wouldn’t object if you wanted to go further.”
Eyebrow raised to meet the challenge the newcomer shifted in order to lay down on satin sheets half concealed by a white comforter bordered with gold, pulling an apparent admirer on top as nails dug dully at a well-groomed scalp through fluffy follicles. Tongues tied once kisses deepened the prince dared to leave the embrace despite protesting whines to press into an exposed collarbone, marking his territory after pulling away a light weight shirt, “Is this okay?”
“Mhm… Didn’t realize how touch starved I was.”
“I’ll make it worth your while if you’d like.”
“Won’t the others be home soon?”
“We’ll have to be quick then,” Roman rumbled in a low tone prior to sliding both hands along curvy sides, one hand holding his hips in place as the other slipped down to caress a thigh and moved further inward to hover over the crotch hole, “They’ll only have suspicions if anything.”
“Go on then.”
Lifting slightly to support his weight the member of royalty slowly slid through the opening to stroke at supple skin fully, index finger pushing past the entrance to give a few experimental flicks that grew in confidence as Virgil struggled to buck into his touch. Between desperate pleas and hastened breathing a second digit fell into place curling into the slickening heat, rutting his hardened cock into the linens, for the main priority was tending to the gentleman caller.
“Oh Ro-” the younger let out in a gasp, startling at the combination of arousal building to its peak underneath the sound of footsteps falling heavily against the stairs, “Shit! Can we…?”
“Finish later? Yes, love.”
“I won’t be able to focus on anything until then.”
“I have that way with all my men, just ask Logan and Patton,” he gave with a coy wink, pulling away swiftly to lick away any evidence as the oldest man burst in without knocking, “Speak of the devils, where’s our little nerd?”
“Coming. We stopped to get coffee on the way back and I wanted to bring your drinks before they got watered down.”
“Aren’t you the sweetest?”
“I try!”
Bubbling with childlike wonder when he should have been out of breath two medium sized iced drinks were handed over, complimenting on the black tank absentmindedly. Exchanging a polite smile fingertips pinched at the green straw to hold it steady while a first sip was taken gratefully, the second causing a coughing fit once a strong, yet careful hold was placed around his wrist; aside from the chilled caffeine Virgil was frozen in place for fear if he moved that would only cause more constraint while a single tear dripped down onto the lid, “I can explain…”
“Please do! What happened?!”
“Pat, what’s all the fuss about?”
“She’s hurt!” he cried out in alarm, thumb stroking a grotesquely long scar healed over more than once, “And there’s a puncture wound in her arm!”
“Dear, let’s calm down a moment and let Virgil tell us. If he’s comfortable sharing that information.”
“You called her the wrong pronoun…”
“Actually, you’ve been doing it this whole time,” the one in question muttered, setting aside the offered beverage to prevent an accident, “It’s a long story.”
“That’s alright,” Roman reassured, falling into a protective stance as arms wrapped around his middle.
“Well, I-I always knew there was a part of me that felt… Wrong. I ignored those feelings until I was outed by a former friend, I ran from home and found Deceit,” he started off, taking an audible swallow while bracing for what needed to come out, “I was expected to be mindful of all his needs… Never forced, but was expected to perform as a girlfriend would. I-I told him more than once what I was struggling to accept, but it was ignored.”
“No one heard your cries, so you…”
“Took out that anger on myself. Even when I came to the conclusion that I’m actually a boy.”
“Virgil, there’s nothing wrong with you,” Logan spoke up from where he sat with his partner in the floor, reaching up to hold on loosely to a shaking palm, “You handled it the best you could in that situation albeit how unideal the outcome was.”
“I’m still learning to accept that too…”
“Patton, is this making sense to you?”
“You don’t have to be mean to him…”
“For the most part,” he replied morosely, hazel hued eyes brimming with empathy, “I do have questions though, I’m not as well versed with this stuff.”
“You’re more than welcome to ask.”
“...What was your birth name?”
“Pat, that’s not polite…”
“Violet,” the youngest one responded in second nature through a slight cringe at how foreign it sounded, “I picked my name because I’ve been through hell and back.”
“It’s different, but I like that it is.”
“Anything else? Nothing’s off the table, promise.”
“Later, okay? You don’t deserve to be bombarded in one sitting…”
“I appreciate that.”
“Can I hug you?”
“Come here,” he relented with a half-smile, laughing lightly at how readily the other was to wrap around his body, giving slight squeezes throughout, “You’re stronger than you know, Virgil. I’ll admit I have a lot to learn, but don’t ever feel like you have to hide who you are.”
Masquerading as a man who had a reason despite being accused by empty eyes no matter where he turned to for safety the concept of belonging anywhere had long since been forgotten, yet being surrounded by somewhat strangers seemed more inviting than any place had been. Hopes rising once again the horizon of a distant shore could finally be clearly seen in color that had never been known; he was something no one else would ever be after being a scapegoat for so long and finally accepting these three were here to offer unconditional support along the way.