Archive of Our Own ^beta

Tony didn’t usually worry about performances anymore. After you do something for such a long time, it becomes natural, and as a performer he had learned to roll with the punches. But it was July 2nd, and there was a performance today that he was nervous as hell about. He had tossed and turned the previous night, his stomach in knots. Thankfully Sally hadn’t stayed the night, she would’ve complained.

He wasn’t sure why he was upset about this, but it had been gnawing at him for quite a while. Just two months ago he had his planned all laid out, but the day that the climax of his plan was supposed to happen...nothing happened. Because that day didn’t happen. Like, the day was on the calendar and everything but the day itself was completely skipped over. When Tony asked Sally if she experienced this, she said that she did, and that was enough for Tony.  

But then he had gotten that call from Gob when he was stuck in the suitcase, and Gob sounded so...soft and excited to hear from him, and Tony wasn’t used to that. It was like he could hear Gob smiling through the phone, though he knew Gob was trying to play it cool. Something about Gob was so damn cute, and Tony began to wonder (did somebody--) if he deserved to be played like this.

People dated people that they didn’t really like all the time; how else would he be dating Sally Sitwell? But he liked Gob. Not in a gay way, as far as he knew. He was funny and he always got excited about little things are they were really same. And shit, Tony was starting to feel really guilty thinking about Gob’s smile. He thought about that smile falling when he found out Tony wasn’t actually gay and he was just in it to steal FakeBlock money.

Tony tried to distract himself by doing things around the house and putting more product in his hair and making sure his goatee was perfect. But all he could think about was Gob’s smile. He was ready to go; he was dressed, his hair was spiky, and his goatee was a gross hot pink color. He had been planning on being fashionably late to the parade, but the guilt was pressing. He wanted to talk to Gob. Before he could dwell on it much longer, he was on his way to the parade.

It was pretty easy to find their float. Gob had described it to him in vivid detail over the phone. He was so excited about it. Sure enough, Gob was standing by the float in a particularly patriotic-looking suit talking to...some guy. Tony hung back, not wanting to intrude on the conversation, until Gob was alone. When Gob saw him, he gave Tony the brightest smile he had possibly ever seen. “Tony!” he exclaimed.

“Hi,” he replied, returning the smile. “Um, long time no see.”

“Yeah,” Gob’s smile faded just a bit, “Yeah, definitely. I know you’re worried about...ruining your image, or whatever.”

“Listen, Gob,” Tony began, then looked around at the crowd that was beginning to form. “Can we go somewhere more private?”

Gob’s eyebrows raised at the question. “Um, I guess we could go...into the closets, but we wouldn’t be able to fit into one. Oh! Here’s my idea. We each go into a closet and call each other, and talk there.”

Tony chuckled. “Yeah, that works.”

They managed to get into the closets, gesturing through the windows, asking silently who would call who. This went on for a few moments until Tony just decided to call Gob. Gob instantly picked up. “Hey,” he said.

“Hi,” Tony said. “I have a few things I wanna tell you.” He could see Gob’s expression turn nervous through the window. “I...I wanted to say sorry.”

“Sorry? Don’t apologize!” Gob rushed, “Please, it’s okay!”

Tony shushed him gently. “Shhh...just, it’s okay. I just feel bad. Because I know you’re gay and I...I’m not.”

“I know that, Tony. And I know I said I wasn’t gay on Cinco…”

Tony cut him off, “But there was no Cinco this year.”

“Ah. Shit.” Gob looked as if he had remembered something. “You took a forget-me-now. And I...I was gonna, but I missed the window. And I couldn’t get it out of my mind--couldn’t get you out of my mind, and then you were calling me, telling me we couldn’t see each other anymore.”

“I know,” Tony leaned against the wall, feeling shittier, if that was possible. “I was gonna con you. Because your boyfriend was the FakeBlock guy. Is that still true?”

“No. That’s uh, my nephew, actually.”

“...I’m not sure I want to ask,” Tony said.

“It’s better if you don’t,” Gob replied, “Anyway, I was gonna con you too. Because I thought you trapped me in that cave on my wedding with um...Egg.”

“Oh. I don’t think I did. I would’ve remembered if I did.”

“So yeah. I was trying to sabotage your trick. And somehow we ended up in bed together...did that girl set us up?” Gob’s eyes widened like he was having an epiphany.

“I don’t know. I forgot that night.” Tony sighed.

“Anyway, once we took the masks off, we told each other that we weren’t really gay, but we wanted to do stuff anyway. So we did stuff. And then the next morning my brother saw you and I fed him my last forget-me-now, and I guess you took one, forgetting the whole thing. And...you know the rest,” Gob looked so sad. Fuck , Tony thought. “I kind of just wanted to see you one last time.”

“Well, this puts a lot in perspective for me. I thought you were actually gay.”

Gob stammered a bit, trying to find words. “I mean. I...I’m not gay, but for you...maybe I could be? I dunno, it’s weird, it’s all I can think about lately. My brother tried to get me to sleep with this one girl--long story--and I could barely even think about it without getting sick. Actually, that was when you called me. In the LEM.”

“Here’s what I say we do,” Tony said, “We do this show, we wow the audience, and then we sneak off somewhere more private and talk about this a little more, okay?”

He saw Gob nod through the window. “Yeah, good plan. And if we’re seen together you won’t be...upset?”

“Not at all. I like you, Gob. You make me smile.” Tony said, then chuckled at himself. “That was a really gay thing to say, sorry.”

“Yeah, it was pretty gay. But you make smile, too,” they smiled at each other through the windows. “Anyway, are you ready for a show?”

“Of course. See ya out there, Gob.”

The show went as planned, for once, and the audience seemed to like it. Tony saw Sally giving him a weird look in the audience and he added her to the list of People He Needed to Be Honest To. Still, he waved and smiled to everyone, and when he caught Gob out of the corner of his eye, he could tell he was having the time of his life. It made something stir in him (not in a dirty way), something he couldn’t place. When the floats made their rounds and the parade drew to a close, Gob and Tony stepped off, waving at the crowd one last time.

Tony touched Gob’s arm, and Gob turned to him, looking a bit like an excited puppy. “That was great! Tony, we have to do this again!”

“It was great,” Tony said, and he meant it. “Good job. You’ve got amazing stage presence.”

Gob was nearly vibrating with excitement, but straightened himself up, trying not to go full fanboy-mode on Tony. “Thanks. I try my best.”

“So. We should talk, yeah?” Tony proposed.

They ended up at an incredibly full bar, sitting at a corner table away from the rowdy people on the stools. Gob offered to buy Tony tequila shots, and Tony’s eyes went wide. “Hell, no, Gob, I drove myself here. I’m not doing tequila shots at 3 in the afternoon.”

Gob laughed. “What’re you, a lightweight? Fine, I guess I’ll get a beer.” he decided. “You want one too?”

“Sure,” Tony reached for his wallet, and Gob stopped him.

“I got this,” he said, smiling and walking up to the counter. Tony knew he was blushing, but he didn’t hate himself for it, for some reason. Gob came back with two beers. “So. You don’t remember Cinco.”

“Not at all. The whole day is just...it doesn’t exist to me,” Tony shook his head. “This is why I don’t take Forget-me-Nows.”

“Well, you did,” Gob said, not angrily, but matter-of-factly. “It’s okay, I’m not mad. We said we were gonna.”

“But you didn’t, because you missed the window?”

“Yeah. I, uh, gave the last one to my brother because he you come out of the bedroom,” he inspected his beer bottle very carefully. “And if he told my mother I slept with you, I have no idea what she’d do.”

Tony could’ve given Gob shit for that, but he didn’t. “Ah, I remember you talking about your brother a few times. He sounds difficult.”

Gob laughed. “He is, but I’m difficult, so.”

“Does he tell you that? That you’re difficult?”

“Uh, everyone in my family has told me that. Since the day I was born, I’m sure,” he traced patterns on the table.

Tony frowned. “Ah, man, that’s not good.”

“It’s no big deal. I’m used to it.” he said, “Anyway. What do you think...about me?”

Tony thought for a few moments, noticing how nervous Gob looked to be asking this question. “I think you’re a lot of fun. That night we got high and stole pies and went to Color-Me-Mine? That was one of the funnest nights I’ve had since I was a teenager. And you make me laugh. I do like you, Gob. Does that make me gay? I dunno. I thought I was really good at fucking women.”

“I mean, you’re really good at fucking men, too. I would know.”

“I’m glad I was good at it,” Tony said, “Um, it was my first time.”

“I know. You tried to act like it wasn’t, but then you came clean about not being gay.”

Tony sipped his beer. “And we decided to do it anyway?”

“We were both horny and we weren’t about to leave each other high and dry,” Gob shrugged. He clearly was not shy about sex. “And it was really good.”

He rested his chin in his hands. “Ah, shit,” he said, remembering something. “I need to set stuff straight with Sally.”

“Say that five times fast,” Gob said, then laughed at his own joke. “Why Sally? Sally Sitwell?”

“I owe her money. And she owes Lucille Austero money that she borrowed for me. To rebrand me,” he sighed, “This is all so convoluted.”

“So...what are we gonna do about us?” Gob asked, the nervous expression returning.

“Remember that night we just sat and talked?”

“Yeah. That was really nice.”

Gob smiled warmly. “Yeah, it was. Maybe we can do that more often. And like, kiss some more if you want. And fuck. So you can remember it this time. If you want.”

“You do kiss well.” Tony said, enjoying the way Gob lit up at the compliment. “So what it sounds like is that you’re asking for us to...date?”

“If you want!” Gob said again. “You can say no if you’re like, not into the gay thing.”

“All those things sound like fun.”

“And you’re not worried I’ll ruin your brand?” Gob’s hand was inching closer to Tony’s on the table.

“We can keep it low-key.” Tony covered Gob’s hand with his own. God, he was so cute. “And honestly I don’t care at this point. It would suck to not see you anymore. Also, yeah, I kinda wanna fuck just so I can remember it this time.”

Gob intertwined their fingers, squeezing his hand a little. “Okay! Yeah! Low-key! Do you wanna do something today? Or, I guess we’re already doing something. I don’t know. Is dating different when you’re gay?”

Tony stifled his laughter. “I dunno, can I drive you home? We can make out in the backseat for awhile, if you’re into that.”

“I am very into that. Let’s go.” he tugged on Tony’s hand. They walked out hand in hand, and Tony found himself not caring if anyone else saw. The two of them climbed in the backseat of Tony’s car and had a very cliche teen-movie make out session, laughing against each other’s lips. Holding Gob close to him, Tony found himself so glad he had chosen to get to the parade early, and knew that the next few month getting to know Gob were going to be amazing.