Chapter Text
Chiaki Nanami was tired. She had spent hours setting this party up for her class, and she oversaw every second of it. She was the one to order the food, set up the lights, and keep the freshman they hired to do the decorations under control. And she was done.
Komaeda was going on another of his rants. "Hope" this, "stepping stones" that, she wasn't really listening. She had been working with him for hours, and this was the fourth speech that day. She loved all her friends, even if they could be annoying at times. But she could not find it in her to shut him up again. She hardly had the energy to actually enjoy the party.
"-and that's why trash like me should-" *RINGRINGRING* The timer! That meant it was time to let everyone in!
"Alright Komaeda-kun, is everyone accounted for?" Chiaki asked her friend. "Well, Mitarai isn't coming, and Sonia is away on that trip... so that means the only person missing is Tsumiki, and she wasn't in class, so she's probably sick. A pretty good showing, if I do say so myself... Nanami-san?"
The gamer was staring off into the middle distance, presumably thinking. "Nanami-san?" Komaeda repeated, a little louder this time. She was unfazed. As the luckster inhaled deeply, preparing to try and get her attention once more, she spoke up. "I'm worried about her" "Who, Tsumiki-san? I doubt it's anything serious." "Maybe, but I'm going to check on her, just to be safe. Text me if you need anything." Komaeda balked at the idea. "But we can't start the party without you, you're the class rep!" "Just say something unexpected came up. It's not untrue." Before Komaeda could say anything more, the girl had left.
As Nanami walked down the lamplit path back to the dorms, she braced to talk to the girl she definitely didn't have a crush on. Any friend would abandon an event they'd spent dozens of hours preparing for at the first sign of trouble, right?
Most of the academy's students were in their dorms preparing for the weekends, so Chiaki didn't pass by anyone, barring a few couples basking in the dying sun together. What she wouldn't give to be among them, with Mikan hanging off her arm- but it's not like she had a crush or anything! It was just a coincidence that whenever she played dating sims she would always wind up with the shy girl with long dark hair and a tragic backstory... and how she would play healers while longingly thinking of her... and how she would visit the nurse regularly to help prevent carpal tunnel... and-
She was at Mikan's door. She inhaled, then knocked. No answer. She knocked again. Still no answer. She put her ear to the door. It was muffled, but she definitely heard... something. Chiaki was seriously nervous now, hesitantly creaking open the door. "Tsumiki-san? Are you-" The inside of the room was messy, the lights dim. A collection of stuffed animals was strewn around the room. And at the very back, sitting on the bed, there was Mikan. She looked sickly pale, and she was dressed in a set of old-looking dark pajamas. Her eyes were puffy and wet with tears, staring up at the gamer like a deer caught in the headlights. And in her hand, she held a razor blade, dripping red, with corresponding marks criss-crossing her normally bandaged limbs.
Both girls were at a loss for words. Chiaki knew Mikan had issues, but she didn't think she was doing quite so badly. The nurse was the first to speak. "Please leave..." She couldn't bear to make eye contact, glancing towards the floor instead. Chiaki stepped forward to comfort her but was quickly interrupted. "I told you to leave. I should've figured. It's not like people like you ever actually care." "Tsumiki-san, please-" "SHUT UP!" She was shouting now. "There's always a goodie-two-shoes like you to come in and try and save me. But they don't want me. They just want to save someone, to prove their incredible altruism. And I'd be fine with that, being a trophy, but it never works out that way. I'm always too hard to save, too far gone, so they go back to using me for the only thing I'm good for. Being a punching bag." Mikan had quieted down a little, her shaking voice carrying an uncharacteristically sardonic edge. "I hate people like that... if they really want to help, then why don't they just let me die?!" She burst into tears, throwing the razor to the ground in frustration.
The two girls stayed like that for what felt like minutes, Chiaki stood there in shock, and Mikan softly weeping. It took minutes for the silence to be broken once more. "Na-Nanami-san?" Mikan whispered through the silent room. "Please don't leave. I-I'm scared what I might do if I'm alone..." Chiaki, snapping out of her daze, sat on the bed beside her. She was obviously very concerned, but put that aside to lend a comforting hand. "Don't worry. I won't leave until you're feeling better. We should clean those cuts out, right?" "Ah! You're right... I normally do that immediately, but..." She shook her head. "The antiseptic you'd be looking for is in the bathroom cabinet, on the right. The brown bottle." Chiaki nodded, before going to search for the liquid.
The bathroom held nothing abnormal, save for a wide array of medicines with names Chiaki couldn't pronounce. She returned swiftly with the liquid and a pad of gauze, much to Mikan's visible relief. The nurse was handed the materials, and dressed her wounds with one of the many cotton bandages in her bedside cabinet. Nanami's eyes wandered towards the ceiling, catching a clock on the way. It was getting late, and Nagito was probably worried about her. She sent him a quick text that she probably wouldn't be back before the party ended. And speaking of the time... "Hey, Tsumiki-san? When did you last eat? "Well... I ate lunch yesterday..." She responded. Chiaki racked her brain for options. "That's... less than ideal. Does pizza sound good? I'll put in an order. And speaking of food, have you been drinking?"
Tsumiki responded with a start. "Wha-What? Of course not! Alcohol has been proven to have significant detrimental effects on young brains and-" "I meant water." "Oh. Not since noon." "Alright. You're probably dehydrated then. I'll get you some."
The two girls sat in relative silence until their food arrived. As Chiaki counted out her change and sent the delivery driver away, she remembered one of the conversations she had with Komaeda.
"Hey Tsumiki-san," "Y-yes?" The timid girl jolted to attention. "Is it true that you've never played a video game before?" Mikan ran her hands together nervously. "N-not really..." Chiaki jolted upright, a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. She brought the pizza to Mikan's bedside table, and plopped down beside her.
"You have been missing out on so much you wouldn't believe, like-" She caught herself. "I shouldn't be impatient. You should eat first." She pulled a game console out of her backpack, and hurriedly delved into the nest of cables behind the nurse's barely used television.
By the time she had finished hooking everything up, Mikan was nearly done eating. Chiaki handed Mikan the controller, showing her how to hold it, and ate the remainder of the pizza. She looked in her backpack, filtering through the games, before deciding what to play. She walked back over to the console, put the game in, and pressed the power button.
Chapter Text
Mikan held the controller awkwardly. Why was Chiaki doing something like this for her? She didn't understand, but appreciated it none the less. She wasn't exactly feeling good, but she was definitely better than she was before her guest arrived.
Chiaki walked back to the bed, the TV flickering to life behind her. It showed the title of the game, "Ultra Giovanni Cousins", and played a cute little animation of a princess being kidnapped by some sort of lizard creature. The hoodied girl started the game in two player mode before launching into a brief explanation of the controls.
Before too long the girls were past the first level. Mikan had taken to the controls somewhat, and was feeling optimistic, despite her several deaths. The second stage was an underground mushroom world, with slopes and enemies everywhere. As Chiaki breezed through without issue, Mikan struggled with the platforming. Partway through the level, she encountered a particularly treacherous jump. She got a good run up, and leapt. However, her timing was off, and her little carpenter flew merrily into a pit. A message popped onto the screen.
GAME OVER.
The game was over. Because of her. She ruined everything. Chiaki would be doing fine without dead weight like her. As usual, she was worse than useless. A waste. An ugly, stupid, pigshit, slutty whore who should just up and die already. She should've done it earlier when she had the-
"Mikan."
The nurse came to her senses with Chiaki over her, gently shaking her. She looked somewhat panicked, but relieved to see the girl breathing normally again. Well, more normally. She was still nearly hyperventilating. "Mikan," she repeated, "has this happened before?" "Occasionally. But why are you acting so concerned about me?" The gamer seemed confused. "Because you're my friend, and I care about you." Mikan started tearing up again. "But why? Don't you understand? All those things they say about me, they're all true! I'm an ugly, fat, disgusting, stupid waste! Don't you realize that?"
Chiaki thought to herself for a moment before answering. "You've got that all wrong, Tsumiki-san. You're the prettiest girl I've ever met, you're a perfectly healthy weight, you're the cleanliest person in our class by far, you're brilliantly intelligent, and you're the furthest thing from a waste that I can possibly imagine. Those people who told you otherwise are liars. And I do understand, and I wish you did too. Tsumiki-san, you're an incredible girl, the kind I could happily spend the rest of my life with."
Mikan was too stunned for an actual response, instead opting for a confused shrieking noise. Was that a confession? No, that's impossible. Nobody could like someone like her. Least of all Chiaki, the most popular girl in the class. Right? There was a sliver of doubt pushing through. Chiaki definitely seemed flustered... but it was probably just something else. She didn't deserve someone so wonderful. Someone so wonderful didn't deserve to be saddled with her.
"Even if what you said was true... Nanami-san, you deserve someone so much better than me. You're so kind, and sweet, and genuine, you deserve to have someone who isn't broken. Not like me." "Tsumiki-san, you're not broken.", Chiaki argued. "I can't imagine all the awful things those people did to you, but either way, you survived it. Having been hurt before doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong. If most people went through what you did, they wouldn't survive, and they certainly wouldn't be an ultimate. I can't imagine anyone I'd rather be with than you, Mikan." The silver-haired girl pulled her into a hug.
Mikan was a confused, blushing mess. That was definitely a confession. Why? Chiaki didn't seem like the kind of person to pull a joke like that. Was that why she was texting earlier? So she could share the nurse's reaction with her friends? And she had used her first name...
She came to a decision. She didn't care. Even if it was a lie, it was a comforting one, and she needed that comfort. "Nanami-san?" "Chiaki." The gamer corrected. "Ch-Chiaki-san? Can you... lay d-down with me?" The gamer nodded, and was soon beside her. Mikan put her head down on the pillow, and closed her eyes.
She felt so warm, and comfortable... Was this what it was like to feel safe? She smiled.
Chapter Text
Chiaki woke up to a warm, comforting feeling. It was pleasant, but a little bit suffocating. Suffocating as in she literally couldn't breathe. Half-awake, she gently squirmed away from whatever was lying on her chest before she felt a pair of arms clinging to her.
Arms?
She opened her eyes. Oh. Mikan was sleeping next to her, legs curled up on Chiaki's chest. She could feel the girl's chin resting on her head, and that would mean...
Chiaki looked to her right.
Chiaki stopped looking to her right, now blushing slightly.
She could still hardly believe she had actually confessed. And her crush really felt the same way? What if she just couldn't bring herself to reject her? What if-
"Chiaki-san..."
Mikan was still asleep. That meant that she was dreaming about...
Chiaki turned bright red. She had to take her mind off of the fact that the object of her affections was currently wrapped around her and muttering her name, so she decided to check the time. The gamer couldn't quite see Mikan's clock from the bed, so she needed to get her phone. Which was in her bag. Which was next to the bed. Chiaki, trying not to think about what she was doing, carefully peeled the nurse off her and got out of bed. It was around 7:30. A little early for her, but not abnormally so. But she was still tired. Turning around to lay back down, she saw Mikan's face.
It bore the most peaceful, beautiful, radiant smile Chiaki had ever seen. If she still held any doubts about her feelings for the girl, they were annihilated. She wanted nothing more than to protect that smile. She took a minute to appreciate it.
When Mikan's eyes fluttered open, Chiaki realized she had been staring for several minutes. She tried her best to look natural, and said the most normal thing she could think of.
"Morning."
Mikan, puzzled by the girl's presence, seemed to file through the events of last night, until she realized what had happened. "Ah! D-did I fall asleep on you? I'm sorry! I can do whatever you want to make up for it, like-"
Chiaki interrupted her. "Mikan. You don't need to apologize for anything. I was the one who agreed to lay down with you." "B-but I had to ask you! Surely I just pressured you into it... I'm sorry for being so selfish..."
"You didn't, and you aren't. Politely asking people to fulfill your needs is not selfish." Chiaki answered, leaving no room for argument. She swore to whatever God there was that she was going to convince Mikan to love herself, even if it was the last thing she ever did.
"Chiaki-san... y-your feelings for me... they're not real, are they?" It was more a statement than a question. "But... I don't mind! I know that love is beyond someone like me..." She trailed off. Chiaki tried to interrupt her, but Mikan was too distracted by her currently derailing train of thought. "Ah! Did I ruin it by guessing? I'm s-sorry! You can pretend you like me again if you want! B-but I'm also good at other things too, like you can write on me, or- oh! There's a hot plate on the counter, so..."
Chiaki had stopped listening. She wanted desperately to help the girl, but had no idea what to do with somebody so convinced that any help was really just another attempt to hurt them. She felt so powerless and weak. It reminded her of that cutscene in Wyvernblade 8 where the evil king Dimitri casts a mind control curse on the party healer... How was it that that curse was broken again? She mentally shrugged. Seemed like as good an idea as any.
"... but you can lock me in the closet instead, if you don't mind-"
Mikan was quieted by the feeling of Chiaki's lips on hers. The gamer felt her jolt for a moment before falling in to the kiss. Minds clouded in a calm bliss, they could both feel every tiny movement the other made. For those few seconds, the two of them became as one. It felt like an eternity to them both, and neither girl would have minded if it was.
However, it was not an eternity. As Chiaki gently disentangled her lips from the other girl's, she looked into the nurse's eyes. In them, she saw something new.
Adoration.
Mikan was blushing vividly, scrambling to break eye contact, but in that moment, it was obvious that Chiaki had become someone very special to her. The gamer wondered how she was doing so well at this, given how hopeless she was at dating sims. Maybe Kawaii Hearts Reloaded wasn't a very accurate representation of romance? She wasn't sure exactly what to do now, so she decided to just speak from her heart.
"Mikan. I know I'm not too good with romance, but just give me a moment to say what I'm feeling." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to organize her thoughts. "I care about you. And I know that you might have trouble believing that, but it's true. All the horrible things that happened to you weren't your fault, and you did nothing to deserve them. I don't know how I can prove that to you, but I can promise that I'll do my best. No matter what."
Chapter 4: Epilogue
Chapter Text
Mikan glanced anxiously at the floor, still blushing. She obviously wanted to argue, but didn't want to risk making Chiaki upset. Unsure of the correct response, she nestled into her girlfriend's chest.
Did she really have a girlfriend? One that didn't hate her? What did she do to deserve it- no, she could ask those questions later. For now, she just wanted to relax. It didn't take her long to nod off after that.
The nurse woke up with her head resting on Chiaki's lap. She was playing some sort of game. Mikan sleepily looked up at the screen. There was a spaceship, and aliens, and a huge number at the bottom, and... a flying pig. She had no idea what was happening, but she knew at least one thing: she never wanted this moment to end.