Work Text:
And I hate to say I love you
When it's so hard for me
Tsukishima had fallen in love. It was a mistake. He promised himself he wouldn't, but he brought him down so easily. He knows he can't say it out.
Can't say those 3 little words he wants to say, if he does… It'll speed up the process.
But he does. He loves him.
Tsukishima Kei loves Kuroo tetsurou. And it's killing him.
And I hate to say I want you
When you make it so clear
You don't want me
Kuroo pushed his buttons, knew how to get under his skin, was kind, took care of him (even when he didn't want him to) and always tried to push him to be better. Kuroo didn't mind his sharp tongue, in fact Kuroo was able to match him and even out wit him.
He really liked being with Kuroo, even if he acted otherwise, but that was just to protect himself. However that deemed to be pointless.
Tsukishima knew he wasn't the only person Kuroo did that for. He was like that with a lot of people… Tsukishima was just one of his kouhais.
He knew that, yet it still didn't stop him from falling.
He knows that even if he wants to put himself out there and try to follow his heart, it'd all be in vain.
I'd never ask you cause deep down
I'm certain I know what you'd say
He already knows what Kuroo would say.
The flowers choking him, scratching his throat and constricting his lungs remind him every second of every minute of everyday.
Crushing any hope Tsukishima thought he could have.
You'd say I'm sorry believe me
I love you but not in that way
The flowers are a slap to the face. A constant reminder that his love will never be returned.
And I hate to say I need you
I'm so reliant
I'm so dependent
I'm such a fool
Ever since the training camps and practice matches, no matter how hard he tried, Tsukishima couldn't forget about the crazy haired captain.
He hated to admit it but he felt like he belonged with Kuroo. Like he completed him.
But that would never happen.
When you're not there
I find myself singing the blues
Can't bear
Can't face the truth
So here’s Tsukishima. In his room, on his bed. Listening to a random playlist playing out on his phone, some songs reminding him of the man who has his heart but whom me can never have.
You will never know that feeling
You will never see through these eyes
He knows his time has come as the flowers are assaulting him. Pouring out of him, trying to break free and it's harder for him to breath.
Tsukishima wonders if he's dead already, when Kuroo’s sitting on his bed… sitting on his bed with him in his lap. But he's not dead yet, he can still feel the flowers scratching his insides, squeezing his lungs and can feel the pain in his heart.
It must be a hallucination. A nice hallucination.
I'd never ask you
'Cause deep down I'm certain I know what you'd say
You'd say I'm sorry
Believe me
I love you
But not in that way
Tsukishima is glad that this is how he goes. In the arms of the man he loves.
You'd say I'm sorry
Believe me
I love you
But not in that way