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“So, uh, Yuuri, what was it you wanted to tell me about?” Victor says, sitting on the bed beside his spouse.
Yuuri jiggles his legs and hunches forwards, his face burning. He risks a glance at Victor before staring down at the floor. “It’s nothing that big, really. I just wanted to… well, you know how you told me about your kink last week?”
“Yeah?” Victor says, blushing (Yuuri almost smiles, the memory of Victor telling him about his praise kink fresh in his mind). “Why, do you have a kink too?”
Yuuri nods, placing his clammy palms against the bed sheets and trying to dry them off. “I do, yeah. But… it’s a bit… different to yours.”
“Well, that doesn’t matter. I’m always up to try new things. so what is it?”
“O-Omorashi,” Yuuri mumbles.
“Omorashi? That’s a piss thing, right?”
Yuuri nods again. “Yeah, holding and desperation and bladder control and wetting and all of that stuff. But… mine is nonsexual.”
Finally, he looks up at Victor again. He finds his husband staring at him, cheeks still red.
“That’s a thing?” Victor says, tilting his head.
“Uh, yeah, it is,” he mumbles, face crimson as he rubs his hands against the bed sheets over and over again.
“Well, it makes sense, I guess. I mean, kinky stuff isn’t actually inherently sexual, is it? Like, some people like bondage because it relaxes them. That’d be nonsexual kink, wouldn’t it?”
Yuuri smiles, wishing the head would stop radiating from his skin, and whispers, “Yes, exactly. So… you accept me?”
“Yuuri, I’m a sub,” Victor says, smiling. “And I’ve got a huge praise kink as you well know. I’m not going to kinkshame you. It’s fine.”
“Thank you, Victor,” he says, leaning closer to his husband and slipping his arm around his waist. He reaches up and kisses Victor. “Thank you.”
“No problem. If it’s okay, can you tell me how you worked this out? I mean, it’s much easier to work kinky stuff out if it turns you on. So… how did you know?”
A larger smile twitches on his face and he kisses Victor again. “It’s fine. But… it’s not the most thrilling story.”
Just like with several things in my life, I found the answer through fanfiction. Reading fanfiction from the age of about eleven taught me a lot about life, especially about things nobody told me about in real life.
Fanfiction taught me about sex a year before school did, and did a far better (and more diverse) version in my opinion. I learned about the LGBTQ community and kink and relationships and safe sex, and it was a fascinating, if slightly weird, experience.
Fanfiction taught me about transgender people, and because of that I found myself on Wikipedia reading about gender and I found out you can be nonbinary and it was the best thing in my entire life. I read so many stories about my favourite fictional characters being just like me, and it finally brought a smile to my face.
Fanfiction taught me about asexuality and the asexuality spectrum, something I had never heard of. When I was fifteen and everyone was getting crushes on each other and going on dates and even having sex for the first time, I felt so weird. But a fanfic about an asexual character later, I learned it was normal for some people to feel this way. And when I started to develop a massive crush on you, Victor, yet another fanfiction taught me I am actually demisexual.
And fanfiction taught me an awful lot about the kink community. I stumbled upon fics about kinks I’d never heard of before, and got very freaked out by some of the things I read. Unless it’s you, Victor, sexy things don’t really do anything for me, so I found I could read some smutty fics without getting grossed out, but also not getting turned on.
But one day, when I was eighteen, I found something that stuck with me. I’ve always loved the whump trope, you see (that’s the one where you like hurting characters through injury or sickness, and sometimes like seeing them nursed by others), so I was reading through the whump tag for my favourite fandom at the time (I think it was Ace Attorney). And I read a fic where a character was tied up by a kidnapper and left in a cell, and the poor thing was upset and scared and hungry and all that sort of thing. And the character ended up having to when himself. I’ve read a lot of stories that feature that, and I always found it particularly interesting, but I didn’t know why.
But then I saw one of the tags this story had was ‘omorashi’. Confused, I googled it, and found there was an entire kink community about bladder desperation and everything to do with this ‘omorashi’ kink. I was amazed, and spent a lot of time reading through things in the omorashi tag after that.
And not long after that, I was reading fanfiction yet again to find a BDSM fic tagged ‘non-sexual kink’. And I was confused, not having any idea that a kink could be nonsexual. So I went googling again and found, to my amazement, that you can have nonsexual kinks, a somewhat odd fixation on something not normally sexy, just like other kinks, except it isn’t sexual to you.
And that was when it clicked. Just like you, I said, “That’s a thing?”, totally amazed that there was a name for my obsession with omo even though it didn’t turn me on. It was such an awesome moment.
“And from that moment on, I’ve labelled myself as having a nonsexual omorashi kink,” Yuuri finishes, jiggling his legs again. “Does… that make sense?”
“It does,” Victor says. “And thanks for telling me. But there’s one thing I can’t get my head around.”
“What’s that?”
“I just can’t picture young Yuuri reading fanfiction,” he says, smiling.
“Oh, trust me, I loved fanfiction as a teenager. To be honest, I still do. I’m just too busy to read it. That’s not cringy, is it?”
“Of course not,” Victor says, hugging him. “I just didn’t think of you as a fandom kind of person. Anyway,” he says, leaning closer and kissing Yuuri. “Now I know about this kink of yours, do you want to do something related to it later?” He moves his lips to Yuuri’s ear, his voice coming out as a purr as he adds, “I’ll do anything you tell me to, my Yuuri.”
Yuuri smiles and gives Victor a nudge in the chest, sending him toppling onto his back. He straddles Victor’s waist and says, “That sounds good to me, Victor.”
And as a blush patterns his husband’s cheeks, Yuuri tells Victor all about his favourite fantasies, still grateful to have a husband like him.