Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Jesus Christ, bruv!” Eggsy flinches violently back at the sight of Merlin, who is fully aware that he looks just as bad as he feels. When he’d checked in the mirror earlier, the purple bruises had blacked out a good portion of his cheek, as well as all down his shoulder and side. Not that Eggsy can see that; with precisely one exception, Merlin is not in the habit of parading shirtless in front of his agents.

“The sling is just a precaution,” he tells Eggsy. His shoulder is absolutely killing him, but it’s not dislocated and nothing is broken. As long as he takes it a bit easy, he’ll be fine, and Harry was always the one to avoid medical advice, not Merlin.

The younger man’s mouth is still hanging open, and he closes it with a snap. “The fuck happened? You get mugged or something?”

“No,” Merlin steps around Eggsy and picks up a file off his desk. “Now, your mission-“

“I’m sorry, if you think I’m gonna being able to listen to a debrief without knowing why you look like you was hit by a bus, you’re wrong.”

Merlin sighs. He narrows his eyes at Eggsy, “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope.”

“I fell down some stairs.”

Eggsy’s eyebrows shoot halfway up his forehead, “Come again?”

 “I fell down the fucking stairs, alright?” Merlin snaps. “I was carrying some shit and not paying enough attention and Harry left his fucking slippers at the top of the stairs and I tripped. Happy?”

“You guide us through minefields and cities and shit, and you tripped going down the stairs?”

“They are completely separate skill sets, and I’ll have you know that I am normally much more graceful than that.”

Eggsy bursts out laughing, doubling over and wheezing, “Fucking graceful. Christ, now I’m gonna be picturing you doing ballet all day.”

“Eggsy, shut up, or I’m revoking you from this mission and sending Lancelot instead.”

Eggsy’s mouth slams shut.

Merlin smirks, “Now, where was I?”