Archive of Our Own ^beta

They met in the same place each and every year, always at the same time. It was the only time they had together each year, and though it pained them, it was the way that it was meant to be. The forest hadn’t changed much since those terrible and cold days when they were still teenagers. For Hermione, who almost always apparated into the forest first, that lack of change was a balm on her soul because it helped her feel like no matter how much had changed between them, they would always have those days together when they were young.

Their tradition started the year after the war. They had drifted apart slowly over that year, mainly because of how busy they both had been. She had gone back to Hogwarts to get her NEWTs, while Harry had started his own foundation that he was using to slowly bludgeon the wizarding world into a peaceful and prosperous state. He was also attending University so that he could actually learn how to run a foundation.

Hermione had been thinking of him that cold winter day. They hadn’t seen each other in months and had only spoken through letters, and she had missed him. So she’d taken leave of the castle – with McGonagall’s permission – and apparated to their spot in the Forest of Dean. The spot where she had once asked him to stay with her so they could grow old together.

She had been shocked when she found him there as well. Harry had said nothing but had sat against their tree and held his arms open for her. They held each other for hours, saying little, but simply enjoying being together once more.

Since that day, they had gotten busier and their friendship had changed. She had gone on to work at the Ministry of Magic and had married Ron. Harry had done nothing that had been expected of him, and that had caused a lot of tension. He hadn’t gone back to Hogwarts, though most of the Weasleys and Hermione herself could understand that, he hadn’t become an Auror, and he hadn’t started back up with Ginny – which was something that none of the Weasleys had understood, especially Ginny herself.

After a knockdown fight, Harry had been exiled from the Burrow. And that really had been the beginning of the deterioration of Harry and Hermione’s friendship. He never asked her to choose, because that was who Harry Potter was. But in the end, she had to make a choice. Her relationship with Ron was up and down, as it always had been, but she loved him dearly and he was her chance at the family she had always wanted. With Harry not being there – he was almost constantly traveling for his job – he slowly started to be less important to her. The young girl who had relied so fiercely on Harry Potter was no more. Their time together had dwindled down into just a few moments each month when they could spare time with each other.

The year before she had married into the Weasley family, she still found a way to get to their spot in the forest. He arrived a few moments later, but this time, he didn’t look happy to see her. The normal happy smile he graced her with was absent and in its place, he was wearing a determined frown.

That was the first and last time that Harry told her that he loved her. Hermione had been shocked. Harry had never said anything about having feelings for her.

“I came close to telling you that day, you know,” Harry had said, looking down at the spot under the tree where they had sat all those years before. “You asked me to stay here and grow old with you. I wanted nothing more than to do just that.”

Hermione, still shocked had whispered, “Then why didn’t you? Tell me, I mean.”

“It was always Ron for you,” he had said.

That had made her a bit angry. “Why are you telling me now, then?”

“Because it’s my last chance. I’m not sorry. I know you’re not going to break things off with Ron to be with me. But I wanted to tell you now because if I didn’t I would regret it for the rest of my life. So, I did. I know I’m being selfish. But now that I’ve had my moment, I can say this: I’m happy for you. You deserve happiness and I’m glad you found it, even if it isn’t with me.”

Hermione wiped away the tears that had been flowing down her cheeks. Harry came to her then and hugged her tight. When he pulled back he gave her a grin. “Don’t feel bad about this, Hermione. I didn’t tell you this to make you feel guilty but just to get it off my chest. Now that I have, we can go back to the way things have been. Nothing needs to change.”

That was what he had promised. But it had changed.

After that, they went from seeing each other a few times a year to not at all. The next year, she didn’t make it to their forest spot. She had checked the spot the day after their normal meeting, unable to contain her curiosity over whether or not he had been there.

She had found a note.

Hermione,

I’m sorry that I missed you. I’m sorry that you’re now uncomfortable around me. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you.

I heard about the baby. I’m so happy for you. Do me a favor? Don’t name it anything like Bilius. Ron’s family has a terrible way of choosing names.

I hope that I see you here again next year, but if I don’t, just know that I still wish you a year full of happiness and joy.

Harry

Hermione had broken down then and had vowed to show up the next year, and she had. The hug they shared lasted for almost an hour. After that one year of missing him, Hermione never missed another year and neither did Harry.

Everything changed the year she turned 50. She had been looking forward to their meeting for months. She had plans this year. Ron and she had divorced, and she had come to realize that she had made the wrong choice all those years before. Hermione didn’t regret her children, but they should have been Harry’s. It had taken her too long to realize it, but they should have been Harry’s. She should have been Harry’s.

She knew she couldn’t change the past, but Hermione hoped that there was still time left for them. She planned on telling him everything she should have told him years before and she’d let him decide if they could at least be best friends again, even if nothing more could be had between them.

But Harry didn’t show up. Hermione tried not to be devastated, but she was. He had never missed a year, why had he missed one now?

She found out the very next day.

HARRY POTTER – THE BOY WHO LIVED – DEAD AT 49

He’d been killed in a car accident the day before their annual meeting. Hermione had sat numbly at the table in her flat and stared at the headline.

He couldn’t be gone. Harry Potter had survived Voldemort and basilisks and dementors. How could he die in such a pedestrian way? It didn’t seem possible.

Even a week later when she attended his state funeral, she was still in shock. Hermione couldn’t...wouldn’t believe that Harry was gone.

But he was. Gone. Forever. And she hadn’t even told him how much she loved him or how much she regretted not choosing him.

That night, she dreamed of him. She tried to save him, tried to be there for him as she had been back when they had been young, but Harry kept getting further and further away from her, just as he had in life.

Hermione begged him to return to her, begged him not to leave her, but in the end, he just kept getting further and further away from her. Until he was gone.

The last words she heard him speak was “You made your choice.”

-:::-

Hermione bolted upright. The tree at her back was supremely uncomfortable, though the body next to her was at least warm. She was breathing hard, the dream she’d just had still floating through her mind.

It had been so real. The yearly visits to this place, the choice she had made, and the ultimate loss that she had suffered.

Hermione turned her head and gazed at the young man who was sleeping next to her. They had fallen asleep against the tree where just a few hours before she had asked him to spend the rest of his life with her.

“Why don’t we just stay here, Harry. Grow old together?”

She loved him. The thought shocked her. Hermione had thought that her days of wanting to be with Harry Potter were long over. She’d given up on him in fourth year when he had been mooning over Cho Chang. Ron had seemed, then, like the obvious choice. No one else had shown any interest in her and while Ron drove her crazy, he was still her best friend. It made sense.

But now, Hermione wasn’t so sure. Harry might have never shown any signs that he had feelings for her – at least in the real world and not in her dreams – he was still everything she wanted. She wouldn’t need to change him like she would with Ron.

“What are you thinking about, Mia?”

Hermione startled. “Nothing.”

“Hmm, mmm. That’s not what your forehead says,” Harry said, sitting up straight and giving her a look.

“Just thinking about what I said. You know, about staying here.”

Harry sighed. “I wish we could, you know?”

“You do?”

“Sure. I mean I know you’re with Ron, but I could think of much worse things than spending my life with my best friend.” Harry shrugged. The way he said it made it seem like the most obvious thing in the world, but Harry wasn’t looking at her anymore, making Hermione think that there was more to what he was saying.

“Harry...I’m not with Ron. I mean I like him, and I thought there was something there but...” Hermione scowled. “He left. I don’t know when or if I’ll be able to forgive him for basically leaving us for dead. Why does that matter anyway? You’re going to get back with Ginny after this is all over.”

Harry laughed. “No, I’m not. Ginny pulled me aside at the wedding and told me that she wasn’t going to wait for me. If the things I’ve seen on the map are true, then she definitely hasn’t been waiting.”

Hermione looked over at him, shocked. “But you still have feelings for her?”

“No, not really. I look at the map to see if Ron shows up. I’m really worried about him, you know? I know he was a git, but… he’s our git and I really don’t want him to die.”

Hermione sighed. That was so like Harry Potter. “So you want to stay here and grow old together?”

“That’d be nice if we could, but I don’t think either one of us could live with letting a lot of people die.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

The whole conversation had been odd. There had been a lot said, but still, nothing really had changed. Hermione thought back to her dream. Is that what would happen to them? Would their friendship dwindle down to a single nostalgic meeting once a year?

Hermione couldn’t imagine living without the young man who sat beside her. But then, did she really have to? Her dream showed her one reality? What if she chose another?

Could she? Ron would be devastated, but then he’d left her. Left her alone and cold and hungry. Sure, she could try to blame the Horcrux, but Ron’s behavior was something that she had put up with for years. Maybe this was just who he was, and trying to change him into a better man was a waste of time. Even in her dream they ended up divorced.

What if she chose Harry instead? Would they come to an end eventually as well?

Hermione didn’t know the answers to those questions, but she knew she wanted to find out.

“We should get inside before we catch a cold,” Harry said as he stood. He reached a hand out to help her up, which Hermione took gratefully. Harry pulled her up, but he pulled too hard and she ended up stumbling into his chest with an oomph. Harry laughed and looked down at her. The sound of his laughter was such a happy thing that Hermione couldn’t control what happened next even if she wanted to, which she didn’t.

She pulled back slightly, lent up on her toes and pressed her mouth against his. Harry froze but soon kissed her back. Hermione melted and wrapped her arms around his neck. So this was what it was like to kiss someone you were in love with, she thought happily.

Hermione whimpered when Harry pulled back. Luckily, he didn’t go far, as he rested his forehead against hers.

“What was that?” Harry whispered.

Hermione giggled. “That was a kiss.”

“I know that I meant what...why?”

He was so adorable when he was flustered, and Hermione couldn’t help but kiss him again, so she did. This time she was the first to pull away. She looked into his eyes and lost herself for a moment.

“I love you, Harry,” Hermione blurted out after a few minutes of just staring at him with what she assumed was a goofy grin on her face.

Harry stiffened, which Hermione felt as she still had her arms around his neck. She froze as well, thinking his response signaled that he was about to reject her.

When she started to pull away, thinking that she had gone too far, Hermione felt Harry instead pull her closer. He gazed into her eyes and whispered, “Really?”

Hermione nodded. “Yeah, really. Since third year, I think. Though I tried to move on, you were always the one I wanted.”

Harry closed his eyes, then buried his face in her shoulder. He was silent for a few moments, and Hermione let him be. It was obvious now that he wasn’t rejecting her, he was just overwhelmed by what she had said. Hermione wondered if anyone had ever told him that they loved him. She was sure that his parents had, but Harry didn’t remember his parents. She was also quite positive that Sirius had loved Harry, but the man hadn’t been the most expressive of people when it came to emotions.

When Harry finally pulled away, Hermione was startled to see tears running down his cheeks. Hermione hadn’t ever seen Harry cry before. No matter their situation, he stayed strong. Even when he was going through losing Sirius, he hadn’t cried, or at least he hadn’t cried in front of her or anyone else that she knew of. But he was crying now.

“No one has ever said they loved me before,” Harry said quietly. “I mean, I’m sure that my mum and dad told me they loved me, but I don’t remember.”

“Oh, Harry. You have to know that there are so many people around you that love you.”

Harry just nodded and hugged her again. After a few moments, he pulled back, grinned and then kissed her, letting his tongue drift across her lips. Hermione moaned and opened her mouth, allowing Harry to explore her mouth with abandon. Not wanting to be left out, she moved her tongue past his, battling it for dominance and then moving the battle into his mouth. It all felt so good, and Hermione figured that she’d soon become quite addicted to kissing Harry Potter like this.

The two teens enjoyed themselves for the next few minutes before breaking away, both breathing hard. Hermione pressed her forehead to Harry’s chin and tried to catch her breath. She’d never felt anything like this before, and she knew she could get lost in the feeling.

“I...” Harry started. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. “I think I love you too, Hermione.”

Hermione grinned and then kissed him again. When she pulled back, she said, “I think we should go in. It’s cold out here.”

Harry nodded and then pulled out of her arms. He took her hand, which made her quite giddy. Considering what they had been doing for the last few minutes, Hermione didn’t know why holding Harry’s hand felt so good, but it did. It really did.

Hermione was dancing on the inside, and she was almost tempted to dance for real. She had just spent the last ten minutes snogging Harry Potter. Harry bloody Potter! She hadn’t really thought of doing that in a long time, having given up on him and turning her attention to Ron, but as she had told him, it really had always been Harry for her.

And now he was hers. The thought escaped her and she started giggling and skipping a bit as they made their way toward their tent. Harry stared at her shocked. But Hermione didn’t care. She couldn’t remember being so happy in her entire life. Not even that time when her dad had gotten her her first rare book. This was way better than any book. That just made Hermione giggle a little bit harder, as she pulled a shocked boyfriend behind her and into the tent.

Hermione was so happy that nothing was going to get in her way. Voldemort might be immortal, but there was nothing that could stop a determined Hermione Granger. And Hermione was now determined that she and Harry were going to have a happy future together. Now all she needed was to get that pesky dark lord out of the way. With a grin, Hermione pushed Harry onto her cot and straddled his thighs.

She kissed him passionately, enjoying all the places their hands wandered to. Hermione figured she could enjoy her new relationship for a few more minutes. And then she’d come up with a plan to ruin old Voldie’s day.

Fin.