Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"An ex thought it'd be romantic to share a meal over the burial site of his ancestors."

"And he was right. It was romantic."

-Mai and Zuko, Smoke and Shadow

Orange is such an awful color.

The thought came unbidden into Mai's mind. She couldn't help it. Sunsets were such a disgusting display of garish colors, and she didn't understand what the fuss was all about.

But Tom Tom liked them, and she was practicing being the kind of big sister that didn't consider foreign kings more important than younger siblings, and so she was sitting with him at his window watching the sun's gruesome death once again.

Tom Tom yawned and leaned his head on her shoulder. "What're we doing next day?"

"You and Mother are going to visit Auntie Mura. I'm going to the palace."

"To see him?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Fire Lord Zuko? Yes."

"Why?" he pouted. "Stay with me."

"Sorry kiddo," she said. "When the Fire Lord requests your presence, you can't say no. I'll spend the day after that with you. Promise."

He looked only mildly placated but said nothing more. The oranges in the sky deepened to reds and purples - much more tolerable - until at last the sun slipped beneath the horizon.

"Time for bed," she said, nudging him.

"Okay." He lifted his arms to her, and she picked him up, carrying him to his bed. He wriggled underneath the covers, and she tucked him up to his chin.

She leaned over and ruffled his hair. "Goodnight."

She went to her room and sat down at her vanity. She let her hair down and began to brush it, thinking about what she had said to Tom Tom.

Not that she couldn't say no to the Fire Lord; she did that routinely. No, it was that she saw so little of Zuko these days she wasn't going to give up any chance she had to see him.

She understood he was busy. The last year had been such a whirlwind of change in the Fire Nation, mostly for the better. Their relationship, on the other hand… well, it was better than it had been when he was training the Avatar. But only barely.

They weren't fighting, or anything so serious as that. They were very much in love. She turned into a simpering fool every time he looked at her, and he looked so happy when he was with her - and Zuko was rarely happy.

But with him so busy with official Fire Nation business, those times when they could be together had grown fewer and farther between. So when he said he would clear an entire day to spend with her, there had been no question.

He had always been her weak spot.

Zuko stretched out on his bed, groaning. He was so bone tired. Not the feeling that comes from a day of physical exertion, where your muscles ache but you sleep peacefully. No, this was the type of mental fatigue that sucked every bit of energy from your body only to plague you all night while you chased elusive sleep.

There was just so much to think about. The Harmony Restoration Movement, the rebuilding of the homeland, the new education policies. Taxes, military pensions, repurposing factories, international diplomacy, reparations, palace security. Those and dozens of other concerns crowded his brain, each vying for dominance, insisting that he worked through them before the night was through.

He wished he could turn it all off so he could sleep. So he could be at peace. He needed sleep tonight because tomorrow was his day with Mai, and the last thing he wanted was to be too tired to enjoy it. Or worse, to be so tired that Mai didn't enjoy it.

He frowned. Something needed to be done about their relationship, and soon. He would have proposed to her already, but he couldn't bring himself to subject her to the assassins who interrupted his life every couple of months. Which was stupid, because she could have them pinned to the wall before his inept guards even knew they were there. But it was so unfair to her to make it her responsibility.

She had already saved his life once and nearly got herself killed in the process. It seemed presumptuous of him to tie her to a lifetime of that, just because he loved her.

He rolled over, hoping that the new position would be more conducive to sleep. It wasn't.

He hoped she liked the lunch he had planned for her tomorrow. He had spent a good deal of time coming up with the idea, and he thought it was something she would enjoy. But Mai was funny like that; she had a very different notion of romance than most girls.

Not that he had much experience.

And what was he going to do about that pesky rice tax…

Chapter Text

Zuko shot up in bed, gasping.

“Who’s there?!”

Everything in the room was still, but something was amiss. He knew it. He climbed out of bed slowly, tense and cautious. He couldn’t see anyone, but his intuition told him not to let his guard down.

He needed backup. He crept over to his door, casting glances over his shoulder periodically, and opened it.

The two soldiers standing outside turned to look at him in surprise. Honestly, didn’t any of his guards have the awareness he did? They were useless, the entire lot of them. He had been through an unending parade of guards in the last year; he didn’t even bother learning their names anymore.

“Someone’s here!” he snapped. “I can feel it. Someone’s trying to assassinate me!”

The guards cast sideways glances at each other.

“Fire Lord Zuko, please,” said one of them, “go back to sleep. We’re in the most secure tower in the entire palace!”

A muscle in Zuko’s cheek began to twitch. He could hear the condescension in his voice.

The other guard held up his hands as if he were trying to calm down a child. “No one will get to you tonight, I assure you!”

He took a deep breath and tried to tamp down on the rage boiling inside him. Maybe they were right.

But then the first guard began muttering under his breath, loud enough for Zuko to hear. “Just like no one got to you last night, or the night before that, or the night before that…”

That was it. He leaped forward, grabbing him by the collar. “Do not mock me! There have already been five attempts on my life since I took the throne!”

The guard’s eyes widened, and he began to shake. “And that’s why we moved you here! Please, you have to trust-”

There were two sharp thudding sounds in quick succession. The first guard stopped talking and dropped to the ground. Right next to the second. Something - he wasn’t sure what - had struck both of them in the head and knocked them unconscious.

He fired off a blast of fire in the direction he thought the weapon had come from. “Show yourself!”

Then a voice yelled from behind him. “Down with the traitor! Down with the Fire Lord who betrays his own people!”

Zuko supposed he should be grateful that the assassin was foolish enough to announce his presence before attacking. The warning came in time for him to dodge the attack. A meteor hammer smashed into the ground exactly where he had been a second before.

He spun around and shot fire in the direction of the attack.

But this time he saw his assailant. A slight figure clothed in black, probably a woman, with a veil covering the lower half of her face. She dodged Zuko’s fire and sent the meteor hammer back at him.

The chain caught his legs, and he fell on his back. He gritted his teeth and flipped over so he could kick a ring of fire with his feet.

So much for getting sleep tonight.

Mai knew something was wrong as soon as she arrived at the palace. Imperial Firebenders were rushing everywhere with grim, purposeful looks on their faces, and servants were milling around whispering in hushed voices before scurrying off to do what seemed to be Very Important Tasks.

She knitted her brows together and started walking towards the throne room. He shouldn’t be anywhere near there now - he was supposed to have the day off - but if something serious had happened, it was even odds that’s where he’d be.

She felt a familiar frustration come over her. Was he going to cancel again? Couldn’t the nation have a peaceful day for once, or at least a crisis that Zuko’s advisors could handle on their own instead of him having to deal with it personally?

“Lady Mai?” One servant paused in her frenzied walk to who-knows-where to bow to her. “Are you looking for the Fire Lord?”

“Yes, I was on my way to the throne room.”

“He is not there, my lady. He is still in his chambers.”

Her eyebrows shot up. That was unlike Zuko; it was well past dawn. “Is he unwell?”

“He is fine, thankfully.” She hesitated, then leaned forward conspiratorially. “He was attacked again last night.”

Mai’s insides clenched. “Another assassin?”

“Yes, my lady. But the Fire Lord quickly subdued her.”

She frowned. “The Fire Lord subdued her? While his guards, what? Looked on?”

“They were incapacitated by the assassin,” the servant said meekly.

Incompetent fools. Zuko couldn’t find passable guards to save his life. She smirked at her joke, morbid though it was.

Well, if Zuko couldn’t find guards himself, she would have to do it for him. But that could wait until later.

First, she had to find Zuko and force him to spend the day with her.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: Future

Mai walked into the Fire Lord's chambers as if she was accustomed to doing so, which was not at all the case. No one except the Fire Lord was allowed in the room other than servants (at predetermined times of the day) and guards (but only in emergencies).

A royal consort would have been allowed in the chamber whenever she pleased, of course, but Zuko did not currently have one - a point of significant consternation to Mai. True, they had only been dating for about a year and a half, and they were both still teenagers, but she knew Zuko, and those were not the reasons he was holding back.

If he was going to hold her at arm's length, it at least ought to be for a valid reason.

But though she had no right to be in his room, no one made any move to stop her when she stepped inside.

He was talking with General Mak in hushed tones, while several servants were straightening the room. He looked tired, even more so than usual. His face was drawn, and there were visible circles under his eyes. There was also a simmering anger under the surface that she hadn't seen since before the day of the eclipse, as if he would snap at any moment.

Poor Zuko. This was not what he had envisioned when he took the throne. He had been so hopeful, so happy, so idealistic. She hated to see him falling back into the troubled person he had been before. He needed a break.

His eyebrows shot up as she walked up to him, but he smiled at her, and it seemed like maybe a bit of the weariness faded from his face. He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close to him without a break in conversation.

"… because the situation is getting out of control," he was saying to the general.

"I agree, sir. I will make sure we address it."

"Good. Then unless there is anything else that requires my immediate attention…?" He looked pointedly at Mai.

"No, sir." Mak looked amused. "Nothing I can't handle."

"All right then," he gestured with his head towards the door, "get to it."

He bowed to the two of them and exited the room.

As soon as he was gone, Zuko leaned in for a kiss. "Good morning."

"Is it, though?" she asked archly, pulling away. "I didn't think you usually started your morning with a meeting with your head military advisor in your room."

"I don't usually start my day with you in my room, either. That more than makes up for any other inconveniences I've had to deal with this morning."

She felt herself blushing - he always knew how to get her off balance - but she wasn't going to let a bit of flattery derail her. "Inconveniences? Is that what they're calling assassination attempts these days?"

He grinned sheepishly. "Ah. So you heard about that…"

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Zuko. Did you think I wouldn't?"

"Mai," he said in the same tone of voice, "It's not a big deal. Really. I was never in serious danger."

"I heard the assassin took out both your guards."

"Well yes," he said, "but they are-"

"Incompetent fools, yes." She folded her arms. "That's the problem, isn't it?"

"Of course, and General Mak is working on fixing it." He drew her into his arms again and kissed the top of her head. "But everything worked out this time, so let's not worry about it today, okay?"

She leaned into his chest, reveling in his warmth. It was hard to remain upset at him for long.

"So," his voice rumbled against her ear, "as much as I'd like to stay here all day with you, I think that's a bit against the rules."

She looked up and saw that the servants were giving them disapproving looks. Because palace etiquette was more important than who the Fire Lord wanted to invite into his own room.

"Forget them," she said, sliding her arms around his neck and pulling him down into a kiss.

And for a moment he did.

"We have to go," he said at last, leaning back and running his fingers through her hair. "You'll get in trouble for being here."

"But why?"

He shrugged. "Because it's important to protect the integrity of the royal line."

"Protect the integrity…" That was the biggest bunch of nonsense she'd ever heard. "All we're doing is kissing! They can see that for themselves."

"That's the point." His eyes were twinkling. "Don't worry. When you're Fire Lady, you'll be allowed inside anytime you want, and they'll be the ones who can't come in."

She gaped inelegantly as he took her hand and led her out of the room.

When. He'd said when.

Chapter Text

Zuko could have kicked himself. Why had he said that?

It certainly was true; one day he had every intention of marrying her. It's just that before that day came, he had to both get his security situation under control and manage to convince his people to stop trying to assassinate him. The events of last night made it that much less possible for him to propose to her.

But what was the first thing he did? Hint that it was coming. That wasn't fair at all to her, and he couldn't just come out and say that now without sounding like a jerk.

Oh, sorry, I didn't mean that you would be Fire Lady soon. Don't get your hopes up, okay?

Yeah, that wouldn't go over well.

He was going to have to straighten things out eventually. And, preferably, in a way that didn't get him strung up on the wall of the palace as target practice.

She bumped their joined hands against his hip. "Hey."

He shook his head and looked over at her. He realized belatedly that she had been saying something to him. "Sorry?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Exactly how much sleep did you get last night?"

"Oh, I don't know," he shrugged. "At least a few hours."

"Zuko…"

"I'm fine. That's not much less than I get most nights." Judging by the look she gave him, that had been the wrong thing to say, but he pushed on valiantly. "All I need is a nice, strong cup of tea."

She looked like she wanted to give him a piece of her mind, but she instead sighed heavily, stopped walking, and faced him, taking his other hand. "Come on, let's get out of here. I know exactly what you need."

After throwing on a cloak with a full hood - he wasn't interested in being recognized today - he let Mai drag him out of the palace and into the bustling streets of the capital. It was a beautiful morning: not a cloud in the sky, the sun bright, but not too hot, and just the right amount of breeze.

He wished he could pull his hood down and feel the sun on his skin, but being in the fresh air was already doing him some good. He felt himself relaxing, some of the stress of the last year draining away, the weight of his responsibilities replaced by the carefree lightness of a day off. The last time he'd had such a day was… Well, he couldn't quite remember, but it was probably before the eclipse.

Mai seemed to know where she was headed, though she didn't seem to be in any rush. They strolled hand in hand down several streets. Porters and rickshaws pushed past them, in a hurry to reach their destinations faster than was possible in this crowd. The background chatter of shoppers trying to get a good deal on their purchases and shopkeepers insisting they could not possibly part with their goods for that little was interspersed with the occasional yell from a crier leading a palanquin procession or the laughter of children playing in the alleys.

At last, she came to a stop in front of Wei's Exotic Teas, a tea shop built in the colonial style, with a bright sign outside that read, "The Finest Teas From the Earth Kingdom and Beyond - Dozens of Varieties Never Before Seen in the Fire Nation!" Another large sign in the window proclaimed, "Now Serving Hot Brown Morning Potion".

The decoration was edgy, and judging by the clientele, its nontraditional aesthetic and taste appealed mostly to teenagers and young adults. Uncle Iroh would hate this place.

Zuko wasn't sure yet, himself. He wasn't a big tea drinker compared to his uncle, though he had lately begun to rely on the energy tea gave him to make up for his lack of sleep. A large, strong cup of black tea to begin his day, a couple of cups of matcha before and after lunch, a calming cup of jasmine in the afternoon… it was a familiar routine, if not pleasurable. But he wasn't the type to come to a tea shop to try rare varieties of tea. That was not his thing, and Mai knew it.

Nevertheless, here they were. She pulled him into the shop and slid into a booth away from the window. A waitress came by and handed them both menus.

"We don't need menus," Mai said matter-of-factly. "He needs a hot brown morning potion, and I want a cup of hot cinnamon chai."

He waited until the waitress left to smirk at her. "Chai?"

That was a surprise. Chai was considered a lower class tea, heavy on the flavoring to cover up the lower quality of the tea leaves. And Mai was nearly as big of a tea snob as his uncle. She abhorred flavored teas (she even disliked jasmine for being "too flowery"), and tended to stick to the greens and oolongs, though she would occasionally indulge in a high-quality white tea. Her default order at tea shops was dragonwell.

"It's the closest to tea they have here," she said. "They have some flavored greens, but they brew it all wrong and scorch the leaves. Nothing else even contains a real tea leaf - all herbs and spices masquerading as tea. At least the cinnamon chai is spicy. It's not too bad."

"How did you ever find this place," he laughed, glancing down at the menu, "much less know it well enough not to need a menu?"

She lifted an ironic eyebrow. "Ty Lee. It's her favorite place to come when she visits."

Ah, well. That made sense. Ty Lee certainly seemed more the type to enjoy teas called Just Peachy or Bed of Roses.

"And what is this hot potion stuff you're making me try?"

"Some kind of ground-up bean they've started importing from tropical regions in the Earth Kingdom. It tastes terrible," she said, wrinkling her nose, "but it wakes you up so much better than tea."

That sounded just delightful. Though if it helped him be more present for their day together, he supposed it was worth choking it down like medicine.

"So," she said, her eyes softening as she leaned forward, "what new and exciting things has Fire Lord Zuko been up to recently?"

Of all the many things Zuko loved about Mai, he felt that this was the one he loved most: the way she dropped her apathetic mask when she was around him. To the rest of the world, she was cold and sarcastic and all hard edges, but to him, she was warm and soft and caring.

So much of his life had been spent chasing the love and favor of people who would show it to seemingly anyone except him. At his darkest moments - when he didn't even believe that Uncle loved him - Mai had stood by him. She had found him interesting, had cared about him alone. And then she had forgiven him for breaking her heart.

He didn't know why she was so willing to overlook his faults, but for some reason she did, and it meant more to Zuko than anything else in the world, except maybe Uncle's forgiveness.

One day she'll reach her limit, an ominous voice whispered inside him. And he knew it was true. One day she would understand what an inadequate, feebleminded, traumatized person he was and would realize it would be impossible to love him anymore.

But she hadn't yet, and he planned to keep it that way. Which was why he pushed aside all the serious things that were on his mind, like his trouble with the Harmony Restoration Movement and his growing panic that he knew absolutely nothing about ruling a nation well, and opted for lighter topics.

Mai had been right about the hot brown morning potion. It tasted terrible, like the most bitter of over-steeped teas, but after a while, he didn't taste the bitterness anymore and was able to enjoy the delicious aroma, which more than made up for the off-putting taste. And it worked, too. Zuko hadn't felt this awake in months.

All in all, it was a very pleasant way to begin the day. He might need to ask his cook to start serving it at the palace.

Chapter Text

After leaving the tea shop, they wandered through the city again. Now that the morning rush was past, the streets were quiet and still, and they had the shops mostly to themselves.

Mai wasn't usually a fan of shopping; it was tedious work, and she was often disappointed with the quality of the products. Consequently, she frequently sent her servants to pick up anything she needed. When Zuko was at her side to commiserate with, however, she found the task not only bearable but enjoyable. Rather than acting annoyed at her complaints and sarcastic commentary, the corner of his lip would twitch as if he was barely holding back laughter. He showed her items he knew she would hate with the express purpose of provoking a reaction from her.

The shopkeepers hated them - though they would be mortified if they knew who they were glowering at - but Mai didn't care. She hadn't had so much fun in months.

Finally, close to noon, Zuko brought her to the Fire Sage Temple. She had walked past it many times, but never been inside. The temple architecture was almost as elaborate as the palace. Two huge spires rose from inside the gates, appearing to climb the sides of the caldera.

Zuko acted as though it was a matter of course for him to visit the temple, walking through the gates as if he owned them, but she knew it had not always been so easy. The sages had crowned him Fire Lord fairly quickly after the war, but he had been their only option. Faced with a choice between a Fire Lord they weren't so pleased with and no Fire Lord, they had made the only decision they could.

But that didn't mean they had made things easy for Zuko.

Most had refused to support the Avatar and viewed the new direction Zuko was taking the Fire Nation to be dangerous. They opposed every plan he proposed for months, throwing political support behind Ozai supporters and members of the old cabinet. And they had refused to allow him into the Fire Sage Capital Temple for weeks. Zuko eventually had to send his army to the gates of the temple before they gave him access. Those had been difficult times, those early days of his reign. Things were better now - the sages greeted them both warmly as they walked in - but as the assassination attempt of the previous night proved, there was still a long way to go.

"Why are we here?" she asked. "I thought you were taking today off?" If he was going to take time away from their day to curry favor with the sages…

"I thought we could have lunch here," he said.

"Here?" She looked around the courtyard at the dozens of sages scurrying about their business and casting curious glances their way and questioned Zuko's sanity. Aside from the palace, this was about the least private place he could have picked.

"Not in the courtyard, no."

He walked over to an ornate circle in the center of the courtyard. He knelt down and sent a stream of fire into the center of the circle. There was a creaking as it twisted open to reveal a staircase leading under the temple. He held out his hand and led her down the stairs. He carried a flame in his other hand, which lighted their way.

"What is this place?" she asked.

Her voice rumbled off the walls in a dull echo. It was warm down here, much warmer than the tunnels underneath Ba Sing Se. Those had been cold and slightly clammy, though to be fair, most places in the Earth Kingdom had been colder that she would have preferred.

"The Dragonbone Catacombs." He waved his hand and dozens of torches sprang to life.

Something about that name sounded familiar. Something he'd told her about last year…

She snapped her finger. "Is this the place where you found some important document from one of the previous Fire Lords?"

"Right," he said. "Fire Lord Sozin's final testament. It's what led me to realize that I am descended from Avatar Roku."

She remembered now. It had been one of the defining moments in his decision to join the Avatar. Not that she'd realized it at the time. He had kept his thoughts very close back then, though she did remember him telling her he'd been to Fire Lord Sozin's tomb.

"Wait." She stopped walking. "You brought me on a date to a tomb?"

"It's not just a tomb! It's a library of important historical documents, and there are beautiful murals depicting Fire Nation history, and-"

"Relax, Zuko." She cut him off with a smile. "At least it won't be boring." She walked past him to examine one of the many dragon skulls that lined the hallway. "What's the deal with these?"

She could hear him breathe a sigh of relief as he joined her.

"These were the first dragons hunted for sport. Nobles and generals would bring the skulls to my great-grandfather as proof of their firebending prowess. Before long he had so many he didn't know what to do with them. My great-grandmother suggested lining the hallway of the catacombs to show that the Fire Lords had power over the dragons even in their death."

She lifted a brow and pretended to examine him critically. "And what sort of power do you hold over dragons?" Her voice sounded breathy even to her own ears, though she attributed it to the acoustics of the catacombs.

"Enough." His eyes glittered in the torchlight. "And one day I will prove it."

"Prove it how?" she laughed. "Dragons are extinct."

But his expression hardened into the fiercely determined, never-say-die attitude that defined Zuko, the same spirit that allowed him to believe that he would find the Avatar when he had been missing for a hundred years.

"One day," he said seriously, "I will prove that my power over dragons is greater than that of my ancestors who slaughtered them. One day I will ride into the capital on a willing dragon."

"But dragons are extinct…" she repeated. She appreciated his determination, but surely there was no overcoming this.

"So they say," he said, and his eyes took on a faraway look. It brought goosebumps to her skin.

"Zuko…" He was amazing. Surely there had never been a Fire Lord like him.

But the look was gone, the moment passed. He shook his head and took her hand. "Come on. I didn't actually bring you down here to look at dragon skulls."

The end of the hallway widened into a small antechamber which led to the entrances to the tombs of Fire Lord Sozin and Fire Lord Azulon. Here she saw a blanket spread on the ground with a picnic basket next to it.

"I brought you here," he said, as they sat on the blanket, "so we could share a meal on the burial site of my ancestors."

"And why would you do that?"

His face broke out in the most adorable grin. "To make them roll over in their graves."

Chapter Text

"What do you think about the rice tax?"

Mai lifted her head off of Zuko's shoulder. "What does the rice tax have to do with anything?"

He shrugged and lay down on the blanket. "I've got one group of advisors pressing me to significantly reduce them to jumpstart the economy, and another set telling me to increase them to help pay down the war debts. Economic policy was not something I learned during banishment, and I honestly have no idea which makes the most sense."

Economics was not top of her list of topics for a date, but since they had already exhausted a good number of more interesting topics at the tea shop and then over the picnic lunch, she supposed she could forgive him for bringing up his work.

"It wasn't a topic at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, either," she said, lying down beside him, "and not something I learned about on my own. What bothers you the most about it?"

"I want my people to be able to buy rice. It's a staple food, and people need to eat. If the tax is too high, it will mean some people won't be able to buy what they need. On the other hand, the debt is really getting out of control. The reparations we're paying to the Earth Kingdom are exorbitant - not that I regret doing it, but with the reduction in manufacturing after the war, the economy is already faltering. We can't pay reparations out of an empty treasury."

"And what do you want to do?"

He rolled over on his side and grimaced at her. "I want to snap my fingers and solve all of my problems magically. Being Fire Lord is hard."

"Of course it is. But you're doing a great job."

He collapsed onto the blanket. "No, I'm not. I don't have a clue what I'm doing, and everyone knows it. Especially my advisors."

"Who cares what they think? You're Fire Lord, not them, and unless they want to get Azula out of the mental institution, you're the only Fire Lord they've got."

She could tell by his silence that he didn't agree with her. Typical Zuko, thinking so lowly of himself that he didn't see all the good he had done. Sure, it would take time for his changes to work and for the nation to adjust to the new policies, but the end of a war was bound to cause ripples that the economy would feel for decades, no matter who the Fire Lord was.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," she said. "I bet your father would have had an economic disaster on his hands, too, if he'd been successful at ending the war by burning down the entire Earth Kingdom."

"I wonder what he would have done?" He sounded almost wistful.

"Probably not worry too much about what his advisors said."

"You're a natural at politics, my dear," he teased. Then, almost immediately, he sat up, face sober. "Mai..."

She felt a rush of fear, sitting up, too. Nothing about his expression boded well.

"I don't want you to get the impression... we're so young, and I'm not really established yet, and-"

Oh. Well if that was all...

"I know, Zuko," she sighed. "You're not ready to get married yet."

Relief flooded his face. "You don't mind?"

"Oh, I definitely mind," she said, though not unkindly.

"It's not that I don't want to."

She raised an eyebrow. "Prove it."

He leaned towards her, with obvious intent to kiss.

"Not like that, you idiot," she laughed, ducking out of his way. "I know you love me. I want to know that you trust me."

"Of course I trust you," he said, as if he couldn't imagine why she would have any other opinion on the matter.

Oh, Zuko. If only you believed that deep down.

But she couldn't press the matter, not when she saw the hurt that flashed across his face. He hadn't realized it yet, and perhaps she was a fool, but she wasn't about to disavow him of the notion today. She buried her fears deep inside her and gave in to all the tender feelings he produced in her. Worrying could wait for another day.

"How much longer until we need to get out of here?" she asked.

"At least a couple of-" he paused for several seconds as he was overtaken by an enormous yawn "-hours." He was fighting exhaustion again; the hot brown morning potion must be wearing off.

"That's plenty of time for a nap." She patted her lap. "Lie down."

He shook his head. "We get so little time together; I don't want to spend any of it sleeping. I'll be fine."

He was lying through his teeth. His eyes were so heavy it was a wonder they were still open.

"I'll sleep, too," she said, pulling him down on the blanket with her. She lay her head on his shoulder and put a hand on his chest, exerting just enough pressure that he knew she wasn't going to let him get up until he'd slept.

"As long as you don't mind…" he mumbled, only half-coherent.

Five minutes later they were both asleep.

Chapter Text

When Zuko finally woke up, it was late in the afternoon. His firebender sense was less acute underground, but there was still that little twinge telling him where the sun was in the sky. Mai's face was burrowed in his shoulder, her hair splayed over his chest, and he took the moment to enjoy the closeness.

He felt so refreshed after that nap. When was the last time he'd been able to take a nap? If he could get one of these every day, he was sure his decision-making and mental state would be much improved. But who was he kidding? There was less chance of that happening than of Aang deciding to give his father back his bending.

Speaking of... he was beginning to realize that he was so out of his league as Fire Lord. The number of subjects he was expected to be an expert in that he'd never studied, the number of nation-altering decisions he had to make on a daily basis, it was overwhelming. It was maddening. And there was no one he could ask. Except, maybe, his father.

That thought made him feel dirty. His father was evil. The Avatar had judged him unworthy to be Fire Lord. And yet... the average Fire Nation citizen had considered him an excellent Fire Lord in domestic matters. Surely along with the bad, there had been some good, some wisdom he could impart to Zuko. But the guilt of going down that line of thought...

What if Aang found out? What if Kuei found out? What if Mai found out?

Unthinkable. They would lose all respect for him.

And now he had to go to Yu Dao to handle the fallout from the assassin last night. That was a matter best handled quietly. If word got out, it would threaten all the progress they'd been making with the Harmony Restoration Movement. He would tell a few advisors, his security, only those on a need-to-know basis, and would hopefully handle the matter quickly before the gossip got around. If they lost the support of Yu Dao, it would spell disaster for the entire plan.

He sighed heavily, and Mai began to stir. He hadn't meant to wake her...

They walked back to her house slowly, trying to make the most of the time they had left. Just outside her front door, they paused. She leaned against the doorpost and stared at him.

"Come inside?"

"I can't," he said bitterly. "I have dinner with my domestic ministers tonight."

They'd spent more than eight hours together today, and she knew she ought to be grateful for it... but at the same time, a stab of jealousy ran through her. The Fire Nation would always be more important to the Fire Lord than his girlfriend. As it should be, she reminded herself. She wouldn't want to live in a nation where the monarch neglected his duties for pleasure. She still remembered what Earth King Kuei had been. No, she didn't want Zuko to be a figurehead, the laughingstock of the palace.

Maybe someday they would find a way around it, or maybe someday Zuko would get over his mistaken ideas of what he ought to be and what he assumed she wanted. But she wouldn't count on it anytime soon.

"You're going to be working yourself to death the next few days to make up for today, aren't you?" She had been aiming for a teasing tone, but she was afraid a touch too much cynicism had crept in.

"I'll be responsible," he said. As if that was an acceptable answer. That wasn't what she'd asked, and she knew as well as he did that what he considered responsible behavior was generally considered beyond over-achievement and dangerously close to insane.

"If you say so."

Mai knew deep down that this was the last day they would have like this for a good long while, and while that thought made her simultaneously sad and frustrated, she also knew that for the time being, that was their reality.

Still, if she was clever enough, maybe she could speed up the process. His biggest hangup was his security situation. His guards were pathetic, incompetent, and so he was essentially in charge of his own security. That was not a tenable situation.

She couldn't get him to change his mind about it, but maybe she could make it so he had nothing to worry about. What he needed were better guards, ones who were more skilled, more competent, and especially ones that he could trust. She had been wrestling with the idea all day, and she thought that maybe she had found a solution. She wouldn't mention it to him yet - not until she'd visited Ty Lee - but if it worked...

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Oh," she said, startled from her thoughts. "I promised Tom Tom I'd spend the day with him."

"Tell him I said hi."

That made her laugh. "He won't be happy to hear it. He's not a member of your fan club, I'm sorry to say. He thinks you spend too much time with me."

"Does he?" He leaned close to her, grinning. "Glad to know someone appreciates my efforts."

"Zuko, he's three."

"I'll take what I can get."

"I guess I will, too," she replied. She inwardly cringed' perhaps that had been too harsh.

His face sobered. "Mai, I'm sorry. I know it's been hard. But it will get better, I promise. It's only been a year."

His eyes shone down at her, broadcasting his every emotion. Typical Zuko, the never-say-die determination insisted that the impossible was possible. And it was hard not to believe him; somehow he always did make the impossible happen. She lost herself in that glance, drinking in the love and determination, letting it wash away her cynical belief that no matter how hard he tried, there were some problems that stubborn determination wouldn't fix.

But in that moment, with their faces so close and the memory of the idyllic day they'd just spent fresh on her mind, she could believe anything he said.

"I know. I trust you."

They said goodbye with a kiss that would have to sustain her for weeks.

And if the way her heart was beating after he left was any indication, it would.

Safe in their Alabaster Chambers—
Untouched by Morning
And untouched by Noon—
Sleep the meek members of the Resurrection—
Rafter of satin,
And Roof of stone.

Light laughs the breeze
In her Castle above them—
Babbles the Bee in a stolid Ear,
Pipe the Sweet Birds in ignorant cadence—
Ah, what sagacity perished here!

-Emily Dickinson