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Caitlin leans back allowing herself to sink down further into the hot water that surrounds her. The heat helps to sooth her aching muscles and she closes her eyes, letting out a deep sigh of content as she allows herself a moment to finally relax after the hellish day she has experienced at work today. In truth it had actually been a long two days stuck inside the lab, the team rallying around and trying to come up with a solution to take down the newest meta-human to threaten Central City. A meta human who's only task seemed to be to cause as much destruction as possible to the city while also, of course, trying to steal as much money as he could as he went about his business. Though eventually and predictably, team flash had prevailed in their attempts to apprehend him and now, he's the newest guest in Iron Heights.
Now Caitlin enjoys the peace that the silence of her apartment affords her as she sinks further into the bath, bubbles floating atop the surface. The sound of her cell phone however breaks the moment. Letting out a regretful sigh, Caitlin peeks over the side of the bath to look down to where her phone rests on the bath mat. Harry's name and handsome face displayed across the screen greets her. For the briefest of moments she pauses, thinking to just ignore it. She doesn't. Wiping her hands on the towel hanging beside her, she picks up her phone, swipes her finger across the screen before pressing it against her ear.
"Hey, is everything alright? Jesse okay?" she greets him in concerne, hoping to god her voice sounds normal or as close to normal as it can be. This is the first time in three days that they have had any type of conversation without any of the team present.
Harry's voice in reply comes low and gruff over the line. "Yeah, everything's fine. Jesse's fine, in fact she's just woken up. I called like you asked, to let you know that she's awake and doing okay."
"Oh that's good." Caitlin smiles and is genuinely happy at the news. "How is she feeling?"
"Like she had her ass handed to her." Caitlin can hear Jesse's immediate protests against her father's choice of words in the background and it makes her smile. "But she's okay, thanks to you. Just sore with a mild headache."
"Hey, it's my job right?" She brushes aside his thanks easily, instead she joked back tying to keep the conversation as light as possible. Not wanting to stray of course. "To fix you guys up every time you get your asses' kicked." She hears Harry huff on the other end and again Jesse in the background. It makes her smile hearing the banter between the two. Lifting her foot, she turns on the hot water to top up her bath just as Harry starts speaking again.
"Jesse has requested if you would kindly give up the location to your stash of strawberry jello. All I could find was the lime, which she refuses to eat."
Caitlin laughs. "I had to hide it from the boys, they kept eating it so it's hidden behind the new boxes of latex gloves in the cupboard." She can hear Harry moving about so she assumes he's going in search of it. There's silence on the line as he does until Harry speaks again.
"What's that noise? Is that water?"
Caitlin had forgotten where she was, despite steering their talk away from certain topics, her body is relaxed as she talks with him, the hot water doing it's job to sooth and relax her. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she decides to just be honest. She hasn't done anything wrong, there's no need to feel weird about this. Except there is because of the thing. "I'm actually in the bath."
"Oh..." That's all he says.
She hears a thud over the line and assumes it's the cupboard door closing but... his breathing has changed, coming a little heavier. They are again, both silent for a few moments.
With her foot, Caitlin turns off the hot water. "Harry? You still there?" she asksays quietly even though she knows he is. She has to say something to fill the weird silence now between them after her admission of location.
"Yeah, yeah I'm here."
Despite her resolve not to approach a certain subject to save herself further heartache, throwing caution straight out the window, Caitlin broaches the subject that they have been dodging for the last three days. "Look, Harry... I think we should talk about what happened between us, the other night."
Harry sighs and in her head she can clearly imagine him running his hand through his hair like he does when he's frustrated or worried or stressed. "What's there really to talk about here, Snow?" He questions quietly. "We kissed under the mistletoe at Joe's..."
"And again in his kitchen..." Caitlin adds a little too sharply as if he's forgotten exactly what happened. Closing her eyes she presses her free hand to her forehead and sighs. "Was that all it was to you? Just some kiss under the mistletoe between friends? Why did you kiss me again in the kitchen if it were nothing?" When no reply comes, she carries on. "You've barely looked in my direction or spoken to me unless you absolutely had to since it happened."
"Snow, I..."
Caitlin shakes her head at his stuttering words, even in those two little words he sounded so out of his depth. So instead of waiting for him to answer even if he does manage to actually formulate one, she bites the bullet and takes a chance. Fed up of wondering and of the uncertainty surrounding them. "It wasn't to me, you know. I'm going to be honest here and admit that I liked kissing you... and that I'd very much like to kiss you again, Harry." She feels bold and brave making that admission but she isn't sure how to take his silence that follows so she just ploughs on, needing to wrap this up and not drag it on any further, for both their sakes. "I'll let you get back to Jesse, I'm really glad she's okay Harry, really and thanks for calling to let me know... And when you do figure out what that kiss meant to you, you know where to find me."
"Okay." he murmurs softly and that's it.
Caitlin isn't sure how to take that either because she wants to scream back at him, okay what?! but she doesn't. Instead she offers him a quiet "goodnight, Harry" then ends the call with a soft click. Absently with her mind still consumed by her admission, she drops the phone over the side of the bath back onto the fluffy mat where it lands with a dull thud.
She's no more the wiser of just what the hell this is between them now after that conversation than what she was the night that the kiss actually happened. Almost immediately she realises how futile it is to remain in the bath and try to once again relax, what with her mind now distracted by her talk with Harry but now also with memories of their kiss that she's tried so hard to not obsess over. So with a defeated sigh, Caitlin stands up to get out, giving up and just deciding to get herself ready for bed instead.
It's just over a hour and half later when it happens. She's propped up in bed against a mountain of pillows, hands wrapped around a cup of herbal tea as she watches the week ahead weather forecast. Her phone rings. Just like earlier, she has that moment where she contemplates ignoring it but once again she doesn't. When her eyes find the screen to Harry's name and picture staring back at her, a heavy weight settles in her stomach. The phone continues to chime it's tune before abruptly being cut off when she swipes her fingers across the screen.
"Hey," she greets softly, with only a slight hesitation.
There's a pause on the other end. "Hi."
She can instantly tell by his tone that nothing is wrong and so with that worry sidelined, she waits. This time for him to get the ball rolling so to speak and be the one to start whatever conversation they're about to have, because after all, he did call her.
"I'm sorry, I-I know it's late... but can we talk? I was hoping we could talk."
Caitlin glances at the clock resting in place on her nightstand, 12.47 am stares back at her. "Of course."
"Okay," he says only to then he fall silent and once more Caitlin waits... until he's ready to say what he needs to. After what feels like a lifetime dragging by, he finally begins.
"It wasn't just some kiss under the mistletoe to me either. It was..." he trails off and then sighs in obvious frustration.
She can imagine him running his hand through his hair in irritation.
"It was what?" she prompts softly, her breath caught in her throat as she waits, wondering what the hell he's about to say.
"It--- it was more than that and I wasn't expecting it, I wasn't expecting to feel like I did when I kissed you." He pauses again but only briefly this time before he continues, "because since my wife died... I never thought I could feel like that again about anyone and I haven't but I did... Icould feel it with you and it-"
"Freaked you out," she finishes for him. "You're talking to someone who more than understands that Harry. After Ronnie died, I felt like that too, like you could never feel like that again about another person and it's scary when you do, because it's a terrifying thought to open yourself up to that kind of hurt again but at the same time... Not opening yourself up to something new with someone, you miss out on everything that's good about being with that person."
Harry hums softly in agreement. "About what you said earlier about how much you liked kissing me and how you'd like to do it again... I'd like to too." Caitlin smiles at how shy his admission sounds. It rests between them for a moment and she's just about to say something when he does. "And about what you just said, I think you're right. But for me-- if I were to try with someone, to open myself up to the possibility of a relationship, I think I'd want to try that with you, only with you Caitlin."
He's never called her that before, she's always been Snow to him and Caitlin feels her emotions rising, her eyes filling and she wills herself not to cry at the open emotion in his voice, the clear vulnerability she identifies there. She more than understands just what it had taken for Harry to admit that, a man so closed off and guarded with his feelings. "I'm glad and I want to try with you too."
"Good, that's good." He sounds relieved
Caitlin giggles at that. Taking a moment for it all to fully sink in. "Was that... did we just agree to try and give us a shot?"
"Yeah, I think we did." Harry huffs out a laugh then he turns serious. "So how about we start things off slow... can I-- can I take you to dinner sometime? Tomorrow night maybe, if you're free?"
Caitlin nods despite the fact he can't see her. "I'd like that."
"Good. Pick you up for eight, is that okay?"
"Eight's perfect."
"Okay. Right, well I'll let you go so you can get some sleep then."
As if on cue, Caitlin yawns. She glances at the clock to see how much time has passed while they had been talking, she's surprised to see 1.03 am. "Yeah, you should try to sleep too. I'll see you in the morning, Harry."
"Goodnight... and Caitlin? I'm looking forward to dinner tomorrow night... well tonight now I guess."
Caitlin smiles happily, a dopey smile spreads across her face. "Me too. Goodnight Harry."
A soft click and the call is disconnected. Smiling down at her phone, the picture of Harry still stares up at her as it show the call details, she's not ashamed at how much she's anticipating their dinner date.
She hadn't been lying, if there is anyone who she is willing to open her heart to again it would be to Harry and if she's being honest with herself, she already finds herself half in love with the man. She knows that getting to know him more intimately, spending time together just the two of them will only throw her all the way in and Caitlin couldn't be more happier at the thought.
Which is only made all the more clear a year later. Standing beneath a sprig of mistletoe in Joe's living room, the team surrounds them as she cups his face with gentle hands. Meeting his startling blue eyes, she smiles. "I love you," she whispers softly, the words no less powerful now than they were when she told him months earlier for the first time. Her lips hover above his before kissing him, feeling his arms wrap around her to pull her if at all possible even closer to him.
They'd been brave taking the step to open their hearts after such heartache but it's paid off and they've been rewarded with an unbreakable love that they hold dear and cherish. Both knowing just how fragile a love like this can be.
The end.