Archive of Our Own ^beta

--- ONE --- 

Explorer Isaye and Magister Sieran become legends in the Priory. Their victory over the Svanir and recovery of the Sanguinary blade leaves no end of novices whispering tales of a very exaggerated version of their triumph. Of course, there are whispers of Lleu and Zakk’s role too, the two of them just as integral to the blade’s recovery, but Sieran and Isaye somehow manage to overshadow them.

Isaye believes it comes down to three things. One, the fact that Sieran is a magister and already well known throughout the Priory. Two, Isaye’s own unusually quick promotion from novice to explorer. Three, the fact that the two of them are together.

Which is just baffling to Isaye. How did I end up so lucky? She thinks, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she watches Sieran from afar, the latter of whom is talking animatedly with another magister about their latest discovery. 

Sieran must spy her waiting out of the corner of her eye, because she shakes the other magister’s hand and then skips over to Isaye. 

“Hope you weren’t waiting too long, Cherry!” She says, kissing Isaye on the cheek.

“Not at all,” Isaye replies. Her face flushes at the contact, at the attention directed her way - not just from Sieran, but from the other Priory members walking past. Isaye tries her best to shy away from the attention but there is nowhere to hide in the wide, open hallway of the Durmand Priory.

“You’re cute when you blush,” Sieran says with a grin.

“You do this on purpose,” Isaye replies.

“Obviously.”

Isaye shoves Sieran playfully which only makes her smile brighter.

“You’re impossible.”

“And you’re adorable.” A groan in response, though Isaye can’t quite stop the smile tugging at her lips. She starts walking towards the library, not bothering to check and see if Sieran follows. She doesn’t need to. Sieran always follows. 

Sieran skips quickly to catch up to Isaye - shoulder to shoulder so that she can match Isaye’s stride. She wraps an arm around Isaye’s waist and pulls her a little closer as they walk.

“Love you,” she whispers.

Isaye freezes. So suddenly and rigidly that Sieran, whose arm is still wrapped firmly around Isaye’s waist, is tugged back and into Isaye in response. Which makes the situation all the more awkward for Isaye, whose cheeks feel far too heated in spite of the cool Shiverpeaks air.

“What?” Isaye asks, voice barely a whisper.

If it weren’t for the fact that the two were standing so close, Sieran doubts she would have heard her.

Sieran inspects Isaye for a moment. She looks terrified, eyeing Sieran as if she can’t quite believe what the sylvari just said. There’s the ghost of something in her eyes, a memory Isaye would rather keep locked away, that almost has Sieran apologising for what she’s done.

She doesn’t apologise though. She knows with Isaye that it will take time. She’s been hurt too many times to take something so simple, so affectionate, for what it is. So Sieran lifts a hand to stroke Isaye’s cheek. An act of comfort. Her other hand stays resting at the small of Isaye’s back, stroking small circles there.

“I love you,” she repeats with a smile. Small and delicate. “You don’t have to say it back.”

Isaye tries to look away, but Sieran won’t let her. She leans forwards, her forehead resting against Isaye’s, something they’ve done so many times before.

“You don’t have to say anything at all. Take your time. I’ll wait for you .” She says it with such conviction, the underlying hint of a promise made weeks ago.

Isaye huffs out a shaky breath, finally unfreezing, leaning into Sieran’s touch. Finally allowing herself to seek a fleeting moment of comfort.

“Thank you,” is her muffled response.

--- TWO ---

A month passes after that first declaration. Isaye fills most of the time with research whilst Sieran begs Gixx for a new assignment. He insists that there isn’t one and Isaye wholeheartedly believes him, but she’s starting to suspect he’s going to make an assignment up just to get Sieran off his case. Which Isaye can’t really fault him for. Sieran has been bored out of her mind for the last month, so she’s taken to distracting Isaye purely to get a rise out of the woman.

Not that Isaye minds the distraction.

It’s just-- sometimes Isaye would like to actually get some work done. A task that is nearly impossible with a playfully devious Sieran around.

“And how is my favourite explorer in the whole wide world?”

Speak of the devil , Isaye thinks. She sighs heavily and drops her pen onto the desk, turning slightly so that she can drape one arm over the back of her chair and shoot Sieran a look that hopefully says ‘are you going to behave?’.

Sieran just waltzes into the room and ignores the pointed look being sent her way. She crashes onto the bed in the corner, smiling widely.

“Fine,” Isaye responds eventually, turning back to her work. So long as Sieran is over there then she doesn’t have to worry about any unwanted distractions. “Gixx asked me to look into an issue with a hylek tribe from the Bloodtide Coast. The one that Magister Ives raised?”

Isaye hears the sheets ruffling behind her. Either Sieran is getting more comfortable on the bed, or Isaye has managed to pique her interests enough for her to sit up and pay attention.

“Oh, anything interesting?” 

The latter, of course, Isaye thinks. A smile tugs at the corners of her lips. No doubt hopeful it will lead to a fully fledged assignment .

“The tribe itself is very insular, but our records also say ‘friendly’, which explains why Ives managed to return from their expedition unscathed. Apparently this tribe’s champions are disappearing. They send them off - not sure where yet - and they never return. The worry from some of these hylek is that the disappearances are becoming more and more frequent.”

There’s more ruffling from the bed, then a creak on the wooden floor. Isaye can hear the faint tip tap as Sieran crosses the room and comes to a stop at her side, leaning ever so slightly on the desk.

“Sounds like it could be something, or nothing. We don’t exactly have much to go on when it comes to the hylek,” Sieran says. She reaches out, runs lithe fingers deftly up and along Isaye’s upper arm, coming to rest atop her shoulder with a gentle squeeze.

Isaye briefly glances up at her, enough to narrow her eyes at Sieran’s antics, before returning her attention to her notes.

“We’ve also had reports of increased risen activity near the Archen Foreland, near to where the tribe’s located. If you had risen encroaching on your home, wouldn’t you send out your best to fight them off?”

“You think they’re sending out champions, only for them to be corrupted by Zhaitan?”

“It’s a possibility. Even if they aren’t, though, I think Gixx will want some to survey the area and confirm or deny the activity reports. It doesn’t look good for Lion’s Arch with the risen looming so close.”

Isaye barely gets to finish her sentence before Sieran draws her into a hug. She wraps her arms around Isaye’s shoulders and almost drags Isaye off the chair. Isaye reacts without really thinking, wrapping her own arms around Sieran’s torso to stop herself from falling entirely.

“He might not send us Sieran…”

“Of course he will! We’re the best team he’s got!”

Isaye has to laugh at that - the overconfidence and determination lacing Sieran’s tone of voice. 

“ If he sends us,” Isaye starts, drawing back from the hug slightly so that she can look Sieran in the eye. “Then it’ll be because he’s tired of you badgering him day and night.”

Sieran looks mock offended for all of a second before she laughs. She pecks Isaye on the lips then nuzzles her nose against Isaye’s afterwards. 

“And they say I’m the childish one.”

“You are.”

Sieran hums, a mischievous glint in her eye and a grin on her face.

“Whatever you’re thinking of doing--” Isaye starts. She doesn’t get to finish the sentence. Sieran drags her into a standing position, more forceful than Isaye would’ve expected her to be, so much so that Isaye almost crashes into her. Isaye lets out a startled ‘shit’ before Sieran kisses her. It’s full of passion, of want - Sieran kisses her with every fibre of her being and Isaye melts into it. Sieran draws away first, biting at Isaye’s bottom lip and drawing out a gasp.

“I love you,” she whispers. 

Isaye doesn’t struggle to hear her this time. She tenses again, but doesn’t make a move to free herself from Sieran’s grasp.

She can feel her heart hammering against her ribcage. Her instinct is screaming at her to run - we’ve been here before, we’ve lost, we’ve been crushed by it , an echo of her own voice is screaming in her mind - but Isaye ignores that instinct. Instead, she cups Sieran’s cheeks with her hands and draws her closer once more.

She can’t say the words back, not yet, so she hopes the soft kiss she plants on Sieran’s lips conveys the message. Isaye doesn’t draw back after the kiss. She lingers in Sieran’s space, can feel Sieran’s breath on her face, almost still touching her lips, but not quite. 

There’s a moment that feels like an eternity as the seconds stretch, impossibly long. Then Sieran smiles, chuckles softly, and kisses Isaye again and again and again.

--- THREE ---

In the end, Gixx decides that sending Isaye and Sieran out to survey the hylek tribe in the Archen Foreland is an excellent idea, if only so he can cherish a moment of peace and quiet. 

A week into their investigations and the hylek seem mostly content with letting Sieran and Isaye sleep within the tribe’s borders. There are a handful - mainly guards or those high up in the tribe’s hierarchy - that remain wary of them. There’s one hylek in particular who is friendlier than most. Ikniu. They had saved him from a group of risen when they had first arrived in Bloodtide Coast and Ikniu had vouched for them once they reached the tribe.

Though Isaye suspects he has ulterior motives.

Her suspicions are confirmed one night when Ikniu approaches the two of them as they sit beside a fire just south of the tribe’s home. They had done so for privacy, wanting to go over everything they had discovered so far.

“Ikniu!” Sieran calls, a smile on her face. She waves at him and he nods back, taking that as permission to approach. Isaye, from her position sitting directly across from Sieran, doesn’t miss the way Sieran’s smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “You look like you have something on your mind.”

He takes a seat next to Sieran and takes a moment to get comfy before he answers.

“I do. Before you came to us, my brother was champion of the tribe…” he trails off, staring at the fire dancing before him. The sun wanes in the distance, casting a pale, red glow across an otherwise blue sky. Isaye glances at Sieran briefly before turning her attention to the fish cooking by the fire. She turns a couple, waiting patiently for Ikniu to respond.

Sieran, on the other hand, reaches out to place a hand over Ikniu’s and when the hylek finally looks towards her instead of the fire, she shoots him a reassuring smile.

“I worry for him. Ever since the risen began to invade our lands, we have sent our champions out to die.”

“So your brother was sent out to fight the risen?” Isaye says, looking up at Ikniu.

“No. We sacrifice them to the risen to keep our lands safe.”

Isaye and Sieran share a horrified look. “You’re not serious,”  Isaye says, equal parts questioning and disbelieving.

“It is the highest honor of our tribe. But their sacrifices have done nothing to dissuade the risen. I would like to rescue my brother before it’s too late.”

It’s already too late, Isaye wants to say, confusion and irritation etched on her face. But Sieran shakes her head. A silent warning - don’t ruin his hope .

“Where do they take the champions?” Sieran asks.

“Sacrificial grounds, just west of here. Not too far to walk.”

Sieran glances from Inkiu to Isaye, biting her lip. 

“It’s getting dark,” Isaye states, lips drawn into a thin line. “We’ll be at a disadvantage should anything attack us.”

“Has that ever stopped us before?”

“And people think I’m the reckless one…”

“You are .”

Isaye huffs and folds her arms across her chest. Sieran smiles smugly and flicks her wrist, water cascading across the fire and your partially cooked fish. She stands up, holding a hand out to Isaye. There’s a moment of hesitation where Isaye looks down longingly at the fish, her stomach grumbling lightly, then sighs heavily.

“Why do I let you drag me into these situations?” Isaye asks, making a show of not wanting to leave the safety of their campfire. As she rises, so does Inkiu.

“Because you love me,” Sieran responds playfully. Isaye levels her with a look, to which Sieran laughs and says “because I love you?”

A groan and an eye roll later and Isaye has gathered all the necessary things, hefting her longsword onto her back. Sieran moves to her side, wrapping an arm around Isaye’s waist to pull her in for a kiss.

With flushed cheeks and a grin on her face, Isaye turns to Ikniu, playfully elbowing Sieran in the ribs as she does so.

“Well Ikniu, lead the way.”

--- FOUR ---

The whole ordeal with the hylek tribe and preventing more of them from becoming mindless risen goes well, save for a few scrapes here and there on both Sieran and Isaye’s parts. It goes so well, in fact, that upon their return Steward Gixx takes Isaye aside for personal congratulations and to talk about another promotion.

“I know you haven’t been here as long as, well, all of the other magisters, really. But you’ve excelled here Isaye.”

“It’s an honour Gixx. But I feel like there may be other priory members more deserving of such a high ranking position then I am. I’m worried the others might think you’re favouring my progression over theirs,” Isaye says, one hand resting on her waist as the other rubs the back of her head.

“Nonsense,” Gixx replies with a shake of his head. He leans forward and places his elbows on the desk in front of him, interlocking his fingers as he does. “You’ve shown passion for your role, you have a great eye for detail, you’re a quick learner, you pick up tasks that others pass on without hesitation and you’re always offering to help the other magisters and explorers where you can.”

“I still think it’s a little quick to--”

“Then there’s Magister Sieran; I’d say you’ve tamed an overly excitable beast with that one. She’s a little less reckless with you around and, although she’s always been up for helping others around the Priory, she’s never actively sought them out to ask them if they need help. Until now. Until you .”

Isaye’s cheeks flush, a soft shade of pink. She looks down at the floor in an attempt to hide it. “I think any other of her friends could have done that, had they been shadowing her like I have.”

Gixx arches an eyebrow at that, humming softly, not at all convinced. “I’m sure. Anyway! On top of that, you’ve already got experience in a leadership role, which is what a lot of the other candidates are lacking.”

Right , Isaye thinks, frowning. She’s about to argue that point to - being a captain in the Ministry Guard is a very different kind of leadership - but Gixx beats her to it.

“I know, I know. They’re not exactly the same, but the important part is that you have led people before. Regardless of who they were or what they were ordered to do. You know the risks, the management it takes to organise even the smallest of groups. The others don’t and that lack of experience tends to get people killed.”

“It seems like a bit of an urgent promotion…”

“It is. We’ve lost a lot of magisters recently inspecting risen attacks close to Lion’s Arch. The fear is that a full attack could be imminent and we aren’t ready to deal with it.” Gixx sighs, slouching slightly, just enough so that he can prop his chin up with his hands without really moving them from their current position. “You’re not the only one being promoted - there are a couple of others - but I guarantee you that the three of you are the best choices for magisters at this moment in time.”

“I see,” Isaye replies, still unsure how to feel about the whole thing. There’s going to be a lot more talk after this , she thinks, but brushes the thought aside. “Who are the others?”

“I don’t think you know them. Scholar Alois Bauer and Explorer Nerys.”

Isaye shakes her head. “I’m sure that will change now, though…”

Gixx hums as confirmation. “We’ll call you all in for a quick meeting just to discuss the position and what it entails. As with every magister, you’ll also be given your own private lodgings here in the Priory.”

As he says that, he tosses a key to Isaye, who catches it with ease. 

“Your’s will be Magister Gunnar’s old room. It’s already been cleared out, so feel free to start using it from this point onwards. Sieran should be able to point you in the right direction.” Then he pauses, tilts his head and purses his lips as he looks Isaye up and down. “That is, of course, if you feel the need to use it. You’ve been spending most of your time holed up in Sieran’s room, so I doubt that will change.”

Isaye gapes, mouth and eyes both blown wide. Heat rises to her cheeks and this time they turn a brighter shade of red. No trying to hide it now.

There’s a brief moment of silence before Gixx bursts out laughing. Which only adds to Isaye’s current embarrassment.

“The two of you aren’t exactly subtle. I do believe the whole Priory knows that you two are together.”

“I-- we-- it’s not going to be a problem, is it?”

Isaye thinks back to her time in the Ministry Guard. Relationships between the guards weren’t unheard of and most of the time, as long as you weren’t flaunting it around, then it wasn’t a problem. Between guards and their superiors was frowned upon - so much could go wrong - but again, the Ministry seemed content with an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ approach. It’s how Isaye and Nasira got away with the relationship they had.

And that is a train of thought that Isaye does not want to spiral down.

“No. So long as you still get work done, I’m happy to allow whatever relationship the two of you have to continue. Should the two of you ever separate, I’ll expect nothing less than civility and a professional attitude going forward. Though I suspect it won’t come to that.” 

He shoots Isaye a small, teasing smile. So unlike Gixx that the blush on Isaye’s face brightens a little more, but she ends up smiling too.

“I’ll bear that in mind, Sir.”

“Good, now go on. I think I’ve kept you here long enough. I’ll send for you when we’ve set up that meeting with the other two.”

Isaye nods and leaves, shooting a quick ‘thank you’ to Gixx over her shoulder as she goes.

Sieran, as expected, had waited outside of the room with eagerness. She gestures, as if to say ‘well?’ and Isaye laughs.

“I got a promotion…”

“Really?”

“I’m a magister now. Officially,” and Isaye holds up her newly acquired room key for Sieran to see.

Sieran glances from Isaye’s face, to the key and back again, grin growing as she does. Wordlessly she pulls Isaye into a hug, managing to lift Isaye off the ground and spin her around. The two of them both laugh - Isaye a little breathlessly, in part because of her conversation with Gixx and also because the sheer surprise of Sieran actually being able to lift her up at all.

When they finally stop spinning, Sieran sets Isaye back down on the floor. The two of them don’t stray too far from each other. Their bodies mere centimeters away from each other, Sieran’s arms still wrapped around Isaye’s waist and, in turn, Isaye’s arms still wrapped around Sieran’s neck.

Sieran leans forward to rest her forehead against Isaye’s own. Isaye relaxes into the touch with a sigh, closing her eyes and allowing herself this moment of peace.

“You deserve it, love,” Sieran whispers, which makes the smile on Isaye’s face grow wider. “We should celebrate.”

Isaye goes to answer but is silenced before she ever gets the chance because Sieran plants a kiss on her lips. Slow. Deliberate. She pulls away only to place another kiss at the corner of Isaye’s mouth.

“I’m thinking you--” another kiss on Isaye’s jaw “--me--” a kiss against Isaye’s neck “--and that bottle of Momoztli Liqueur that Ikniu gifted to us.”

As much as Isaye would like to melt into Sieran’s touch right now, she’s well aware that the two of them are still stood directly outside of Gixx’s office, in view of any potentially passing Priory members. By the Gods, Isaye thinks, moaning as Sieran plants another kiss right over her pulse.

“I’m thinking--” Isaye starts, breath hitching as Sieran continues feathering kisses over her neck. “You’re right. My room or yours?”

Sieran pulls away then, a sly grin on her face. “I remember you asked me to look after the wine.”

“Your room it is then.” 

Sieran leads the way, her right hand interlaced with Isaye’s left hand, whilst Isaye tries to steady her breathing and force the heated flush from her cheeks. It doesn’t work but luckily for Isaye the Priory halls are relatively empty. The benefits of coming back from a mission so late in the evening.

When they eventually make it into the room Sieran doesn’t hesitate in locking the door behind them. She turns back to Isaye, mischief glinting in her eyes.

The lack of light in the room - Isaye is struggling to find a match to light the small lantern hung to the left of the door - makes Sieran glow. It’s enough to make Isaye pause in her search. 

She’s seen the glow of the sylvari before. She’s seen the intricate patterns adorning Sieran’s skin come alive in the darkness, a deep and vibrant red sea weaving across her arms, her neck, her face. She’s seen it all before and yet in this moment it takes her breath away. 

Isaye is moving before she can even process what she’s doing. Not that she needs to - she knows what she wants, lantern light be damned.

She wraps one arm loosely around Sieran’s waist. The other comes to rest against the door just beside Sieran’s head. Isaye steps into Sieran’s space, causing Sieran to try and take a step back, only to find her back against the hardwood of the door. She leans in and down slightly, plants a rough kiss on Sieran’s lips and Sieran doesn’t hesitate to respond in kind now that she’s all caught up on Isaye’s plan.

Sieran’s hands cup either side of Isaye’s face, drawing her in. The kiss is hungry, deep, heated, and when the two finally pull away for a breath of fresh air, Isaye claims Sieran’s bottom lip between her teeth and nips as she draws away.

“This is why I wind you up so often,” Sieran says, flicking her tongue of the flecks of blood beginning to blossom on her bottom lip. “I love it when you’re feisty.”

Isaye laughs. It’s light and a little breathless, but the sound of it makes Sieran smile. Then Isaye leans back in, nipping at Sieran’s jaw, an echo of everything Sieran had done just moments ago outside of Gixx’s office.

“Just when I’m feisty?” Isaye asks, voice barely above a whisper and breath hot against Sieran’s skin. It sends shivers coursing through every inch of Sieran’s being.

“I love it when you’re soft and shy, or commanding, or inpatient,” Sieran replies, hands shifting, drifting across your armour to start undoing the clasps holding it all together. “I love you, Isaye, every version of you I see.”

Isaye draws back from kissing Sieran’s neck, lingers close still. She closes her eyes and there’s a brief, quietly spoken “I--” before she stops.

The pause stretches across seconds. Sieran idly plays with one of the clasps, waiting patiently, refusing to continue undoing it before Isaye acts.

Another couple of seconds pass. Then--

A knock at the door has both Sieran and Isaye jumping. Whatever Isaye had been about to say is replaced with a harshly whispered ‘shit’ and she runs anxiously through her hair.

Sieran recovers quicker, shock replaced with a small chuckle at Isaye’s expense, before she calls out to the person on the other side of the door.

“Who is it?”

“Explorer Yngar, ma’am.”

By the time Sieran has dealt with Yngar and sent them on their way, Isaye has managed to light the lantern and unclasped the more awkward parts of her armour. The fire is still there in both of them, but the moment, that almost confession, has passed and the thought of bringing it up again has fallen from both their minds.

--- FIVE (plus one) ---

Eventually, Lleu and Zakk find out about Isaye’s promotion. It doesn’t take long really. The news travels as fast as Isaye expected it would, what with her already very quick promotion to Explorer, and she swears that within a couple days of her becoming a Magister at least two thirds of the Priory already knows about it.

Zakk, in all his wisdom, decides it’s a cause for celebration. Isaye would prefer to keep the whole thing quiet, but she knows it’s already far too late for that so in the end she gives in to Zakk’s constant insistence that they throw her a party.

That’s how Isaye finds herself in Lion’s Arch, surrounded by a dozen people she knows and two dozen more that she’s never met. Zakk decided it would be a good idea to invite Alois (apparently the two are rather good friends, which is news to Isaye), who in turn decides to invite his own set of friends and the newly appointed Magister Nerys. 

It all gets a bit out of hand and Isaye is too on edge about all of the new people to even enjoy the drink in her hand.

They’ve dragged a number of tables together. If the locals care, they don’t show it, though a couple of other patrons in the bar they’ve claimed as their own do look at them with a snarl on their face. Isaye wills herself not to care, to no avail, and finds that that’s another thing to remain on edge about.

“This was a brilliant idea Zakk!” Alois bellows, throwing an arm around the asura in question. Loud and tall, Isaye had almost mistaken him for a norn when they had met a week ago. “A toast! To myself and my fellow magisters!”

Alois raises a glass, the contents sloshing over the sides haphazardly, and the whole room follows suit. 

Personally, Isaye thinks he’s a bit obnoxious and wants nothing more than to be the center of attention, but Sieran shoots her a look across the table that says ‘play nice’ and so she says nothing of it.

On the other hand, there’s Nerys - also loud and boisterous, but not quite as bad as Alois. It’s strange from Isaye’s perspective. Most of the sylvari she’s met have either been quiet and reclusive, or have looked out on the world with a childlike wonder. Then again , Isaye thinks, glancing from Nerys to Sieran, she’s not much better sometimes .

Or she would have glanced at Sieran, had it not been for the fact that her partner has seemingly disappeared into thin air.

“How are you faring, Isaye?” a voice asks, one off to her left. Isaye turns to her speaker, coming face to face with Lleu and Elain.

“I thought it would be a quieter affair,” she mutters, glancing back around the room to try and find Sieran.

Elain laughs at that and Lleu lets his lips twist upwards into a smile.

“Zakk has a terrible habit of letting things get out of hand,” Lleu replies.

“Oh yes!” Elain says, clapping her hands together. “Remember that time he offered to throw us a celebratory party when you finally told him we were together?”

“Don’t remind me about that,” Lleu groans.

“What happened?” Isaye asks, curious. 

“Nothing good,” is the cryptic response she gets from Lleu. Isaye is about to try and pry a little further, but there’s a thump in the seat next to her and an arm wraps around her shoulders, pulling her close to the offending person.

Said person happens to be Alois. Should’ve guessed .

“Magister Isaye! Just the person I wanted to talk to!” he shouts over the bustling noise in the background. Being so close, it makes Isaye wince. “What’s your secret to rising through the ranks so quickly?”

Isaye rolls her eyes and shoots Lleu and Elain a look that has ‘please help’ written all over it. 

“My work ethic?” she answers halfheartedly.

“I see!” Alois responds, nodding sagely. “For me, it was my charming personality and dashing good looks.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Isaye replies. She spies Elain and Lleu leaving the table, the latter having the decency to look a little guilty at leaving her behind. Traitors, Isaye thinks.

“You know, before all this I was a bit of a big deal in Kryta.”

“Uh huh.” Isaye twists in her seat, trying to get Alois to remove his arm but to no avail. His grip is as strong as he looks.

“My father was a minister.”

Isaye freezes. Alois keeps speaking - something about his mother being a farmer, about how he was supposed to take over the business - but she tunes it out.

My father was a minister . Which one? Where did he live, what did he do, did I cover for him, did kill for him .

Her thoughts spiral.

It’s too hot. 

She feels sick. Can feel her stomach churning. Bile rising.

She fiddles with her hands.

Her breathing comes faster, harsher. Becomes more and more uneven as the seconds pass.

“I need some air,” Isaye says flatly. She stands up, so abruptly that Alois has no choice but to drop his arm from her shoulders.

He looks up at her, confused and a little hurt, but Isaye doesn’t really see him. She sees a man in a minister’s suit. 

She sees a flash of red - the guard’s armour - the guard’s blood - the poor girl’s life draining out before her.

Then she bolts.

She stops in an alleyway next to the bar. Back against the wall. Knees buckle. Head in her hands, knees dragged up to her chest, heaving uneven breaths.

Isaye isn’t sure how long she sits there for. Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Time blurs together and passes without her, as if she doesn’t even exist.

Then someone sits down next to her, a foot or two away. Isaye is vaguely aware of said someone talking “--breathe with me Isaye, in and out--” and she tries her best to follow the instructions. She takes a deep breath in through the nose. Slowly lets it out through her mouth. Rinse and repeat.

Eventually, her breathing evens out. The rise and fall of her chest slows.

“What happened?” the voice asks.

Isaye glances up and of course, Sieran looks back, nothing but love and concern etched onto her face. Of course .

“I don’t know. Alois mentioned his father was a minister and I just-- I freaked.”

Sieran shuffles closer, puts her arm around Isaye’s shoulders and gently tugs her into a hug.

“Did he bring up your past?”

“No. Like I said, he mentioned his father was a minister. He was just making small talk.”

She hums and hugs Isaye a little tighter. 

“It’s stupid,” Isaye says eventually, leaning in to Sieran’s touch and irritated by her own behaviour.

“It’s not.”

“It is.”

“Isaye--”

“One mention of the Ministry. That’s all it took Sieran. It’s stupid and it’s irrational and I wish I could put it all behind me but I’m so fucking broken that all it takes is one offhand comment for me to spiral back down that fucking rabbit hole.”

Isaye goes to curl up, wants to fold her arms across her chest and rest them on her knees so that she can bury her head on them and hide from the world. But Sieran doesn’t let her. She reaches across and cups Isaye’s cheek, forcing Isaye to look at her.

“It’s not stupid Isaye. You went through something horrible, went through an unimaginable amount of pain, and in the end you came out on top of it. I’d be more worried if you never reacted to what you’ve been through,” Sieran says, voice soft as ever.

“What if I never get over it? What if every time someone brings up anything Ministry related I just freak out again?”

Sieran smiles at Isaye, rubbing her thumb across Isaye’s cheek in a continuous, soothing motion. “If you can’t ‘get over’ it, then you’ll need to learn to deal with it instead.”

“How can I do that?” Isaye says, exasperated. She turns a little more so that she can face Sieran better, no longer leaning against the wall for support, crossing her legs. She catches Sieran’s hand in her own, but doesn’t make any motion to move it away from her cheek. 

Sieran follows her lead, moving into a sitting position away from the wall.

“I’m not sure myself,” Sieran says and Isaye immediately sighs. “But there are a few people in the Priory who can help. If you want it?”

“I-- I don’t know…”

“Why?”

“Because then I’d have to admit that something is wrong. To someone that isn’t you.”

Sieran tilts her head to one side in response to that.

“It was-- it’s been hard enough talking to you about it. I’m worried that every time it happens, you’ll look at me differently. I can’t deal with that from someone else too.”

“Isaye, the person you would talk to in the Priory would be trained to help you. It wouldn’t even cross their minds to look at you differently.”

There’s a short pause as Isaye processes Sieran’s answer. Then she looks up at Sieran, biting her lip with worry.

“What about you?”

“I love you Isaye. I would never think any differently of you because of this.” Sieran raises her other arm to cup the other side of Isaye’s cheek. “I promise you that.”

“What have I told you about making promises you can’t keep?”

“I keep all of my promises, Cherry,” Sieran replies, leaning in and placing a kiss on Isaye’s forehead. It’s enough to make Isaye smile - small but present. A start.

“I love that about you,” Isaye whispers. Sieran is the one to pause this time, to process what she had just heard.

“You-- what?”

“I love your stubborn determination,” Isaye clarifies. Sieran looks her in the eyes, searching, and Isaye looks away, a light blush on her cheeks. Sieran can barely make it out in the faint light coming from one of the street lights. “I-- well, you’re always making promises and you’re always so determined to keep them. And you’re always here for me, no matter what. I’ve never really had that before. Not even with--”

Isaye stops mid sentence, closes her mouth and bites her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. Sieran is about to say something when Isaye abruptly continues.

“You never shy away from the parts of me that I hate. I feel like anyone else would run a mile, but you’re always willing to help. Or help me to get help.” Then Isaye finally looks back up and into Sieran’s eyes. “It’s a little overwhelming.”

“I could stop…” Sieran says. “If it’s overwhelming I won’t--”

“No. Don’t stop-- I…”

Sieran waits, doesn’t dare breathe. Watches as a range of emotions flash across Isaye’s eyes, then finally--

“I love you too.”

Silence falls between them. A moment of discomfort, then it eases. The tension subsides. The quiet becomes soothing - a shared secret passed between them, finally freed from it’s chains.

Sieran leans in. Stops just before her lips reach Isaye’s, waiting.

Isaye closes the distance. Finally lets herself go. 

And as the two of them relax into the kiss, they both smile. Wide and bright. 

It was worth the wait .