Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If you were to ask Missy Cooper ten years from now, then she would say that she had known from the start. And if it wasn’t for her, none of this would’ve happened. They wouldn’t even have met each other.

Who knew that a girl… this particular, mighty, little girl… could forever change fundamentally everything? Who would have known that she would be able to change him?

And look where they are now…

If Missy had to pinpoint the moment where it all started, she would say it was when she and her twin brother Sheldon were about ten years old. Sheldon, being the genius child prodigy that he was, was now starting his second year in the same high school as their older brother, Georgie. While she just plain and boringly stumbled her way into fourth grade… barely successful.

Missy didn’t much care that she wasn’t as smart as her brother; at least she had lots of friends and there was nothing more important to her than that. Her brother, however, was so socially inept and just so… different from her, despite them being twins. He hardly had any social contacts at all besides family.

But when her new school year started, it brought an interesting, new addition into Missy’s simple, non-genius life:

There was a new girl in her class.

Her name was Amy Fowler; she also had a weird sounding middle name, but Missy chose to ignore it because she couldn’t pronounce it correctly. Anyway, Amy reminded her very much of her twin.

Amy was incredibly shy and never spoke a word to anyone in class, which easily made her a victim of cruel pranks and ridicule. Normally, Missy wouldn’t shy away from initiating such pranks herself, but somehow she couldn’t bring herself to tease Amy.

Teasing Sheldon, on the other hand, was a different story. He was her brother after all and Missy loved to get him worked up about the smallest things; it was just too easy to do. But she also knew when to stop with him. Either because their mother told her so or because, deep down, Missy knew exactly how much her brother struggled to function in this world.

With questions about social cues Sheldon often turned to Missy, especially when it was about interacting with the other kids at his school. Sheldon’s brilliance only applied to the technical things in life, like math, trains and something Missy heard him call ‘physics’.

The same apparently applied to Amy, too… And boy, that girl is one smart cookie.

Amy always aced her tests, no matter which class – excluding sports of course – and she didn’t even have to pay attention to the teacher. Whenever she got reprimanded for not following along in class, Amy bluntly declared that she already knew all of this and that she would prefer to quietly read on in her big old book without any pictures in it. Missy was almost certain that Amy was not even reading in the English language.

The teachers never seemed to know what to do with Amy’s blunt answers and usually let her continue to read, which made her really badass in Missy’s mind. Sure, Amy was an awkwardly dressed, shy bookworm, but she got to do what she wanted and there wasn’t anything cooler to Missy than that.

So, almost two months into the new school year, Missy decided to talk to that girl and find out more about her. She was curious if Amy would turn out to be lame and old-fashioned like her brother or secretly cool on the inside.

Missy spotted Amy during recess one day, sitting completely alone in one isolated, quiet corner of the schoolyard, reading her picture-less book while munching on her sandwich.

“Hello!” Missy announced in the bold and loud way of her.

The poor girl flinched so badly that she let both, her book and her sandwich, fall to the ground. She met Missy’s gaze with a frightened, paralyzed stare, much like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Oh, sorry.” Missy said, and when the startled girl still didn’t move a muscle, she bent down to retrieve the book for her. “Let me get that.” She picked it up and frowned in confusion as she tried to read the author's name. “Who’s… ‘Kauzer’?”

The bespectacled, dark-haired girl knitted her brows. “Y-You mean Chaucer.” she stuttered shyly. “He’s a British poet and writer. But his name is French, that’s probably why it’s hard f-for you… to pronounce.”

“See, I knew you weren’t reading English!” Missy exclaimed.

“Uhm… his writing is mostly medieval English, but t-that still counts as English, I guess.” Amy shrunk further back on the bench she was sitting on, hands clasped tightly at her sides. “Please, don’t throw away my book.” she pleaded weakly.

Missy cocked her head to the side and frowned. “I didn’t plan to throw away your book.” she said and handed it back to Amy who immediately cradled it tightly to her chest. As if she wanted to disappear behind it.

“Are you okay?” Missy asked. “You’re acting like you’re afraid of me.”

Amy raised her head defiantly, clearly forcing herself to loosen up a bit. “Of course not, I’m just… not used to someone talking so… nicely to me.” she muttered under her breath.

Missy caught it anyway. “I’m nice.” She shrugged and sat down beside her. Instantly, Amy started to clam up again and scooted away a bit. Missy chose to ignore it. “And I’m used to weird people. You should meet my brother; he’s the king of weird.”

Amy looked up, a hint of slight hurt on her face. “You think I’m weird?”

“Of course, you are.” Missy grinned. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t be nice and cool, too.”

The two girls looked at each other for a moment. Then Amy started to smile timidly. “It’s refreshing to talk to someone who seems to be as blunt and honest as me.”

“Yeah, I got that from my Meemaw.” Missy drawled. “Plus, I’m Texan, so… that’s a given.” She smiled, then tilted her head. “But you don’t sound Texan at all. Where are you from?”

“I moved here from California this summer because of my daddy’s work. Momma is not too pleased about it, because it’s way too hot for her liking. And I agree with her for once.” Amy explained.

“Ugh, this year was nothing. The summers here are the worst!” Missy groaned. “But it’s your own fault, wearing all of these long-sleeved clothes.” she said with a curl of her lip, pointing at Amy’s woolen tights and two-layered combination of thick, cotton long-sleeve tops. “Not even my Meemaw would wear stuff like that.”

“My mom says a girl is always supposed to dress modestly.”

Missy raised her brows with a cocky grin. “Your mom is weird, too.”

Amy couldn’t suppress a laugh, while simultaneously seeming to be amazed where that chuckle came from all of a sudden. “Yes… she is.” she said quietly.

Missy and Amy talked during the whole break. Well… Missy talked for most of the time and Amy smiled and listened attentively, seemingly still in awe that someone decided to take the time to get to know her.

“Now that we’re friends, we should totally sit together again tomorrow at recess.” Missy said as they walked side-by-side back to the classroom.

Amy stood rooted to the spot for a moment and then quickly hurried to catch up with Missy again. “Y-You want to be my friend?” Amy asked with a little high-pitched squeak.

Missy rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Duh.” she said.

“But… but you already have a lot of friends and they don’t really like me that much.” Amy stuttered.

“So what if they don’t like you? I’m not asking you to be friends with them, but with me. Also, they’re not really my best friends, they’re my social circle.” Missy said and grinned proudly for knowing a big word she heard Sheldon once use when he described his social circle, which only consisted of one nerdy Asian guy named Tam.

Amy’s timid, straight face lit up like a Christmas tree. “So, I would be your best friend… your bestie?”

Missy chuckled about Amy’s silly word. “Sure, why not? I like you.”

Amy’s radiant smile didn’t leave her face the rest of the day. She kept turning around and waving to her new friend from her first row place in class. Missy smiled back and left school that day with the rewarding feeling of having done a good deed.

The next day, however, Amy already seemed to be back to her introverted, sullen self. She didn’t really met Missy’s gaze when she waved at her in the morning and hurried out alone during break instead of waiting for her.

Missy, being blessed – or cursed; depends on who you ask – with the Cooper-stubbornness, didn’t let that bother her and found Amy again, sitting in the same corner on the bench with her nose buried in that thick book again. “Hey, Amy.” Missy greeted her. “Why didn’t you wait for me? I thought besties were supposed to eat their lunches together.”

Amy was startled again by her sudden appearance and she nervously fiddled on the edge of her book instead of looking at her. “I’m sorry that I… uhm, that I disappointed you. I get it if you don’t want to… hang out with me anymore…”

Missy frowned. “Who said that? I’m just confused. Yesterday you seemed so happy that you found a friend. What happened?”

Amy sighed. “You’re very perceptive.”

Missy wrinkled her nose. “I’m what?”

“I didn’t think you’d notice that something else happened yesterday, causing my contradicting reaction today.” Amy explained.

“Oh…” Missy said, not sure if that helped to clear up her confusion at all. “So… what happened then?”

Amy started to chew on her lower lip and shyly looked into her lap where she had closed her book and now clenched her fists. “It’s just… my mom said something… about false friends and not getting my hopes up too quickly.”

Missy vehemently shook her head in irritation. “Geez, and I thought my mom can be annoying at times. No offense, Amy, but… I don’t really like your mom.”

“That makes two of us.” Amy whispered quietly as if she was ashamed to even consider this. “I guess she just tries to protect me.”

“From what? I’m not a monster!” Missy exclaimed in offense. “And I’m not a ‘false friend’. I like that you don’t have to listen to what the teacher says and you still get good grades. I wish I could do that. You remind me of my brother, because he’s super-smart, too. But, unlike him, you’re cool.”

Amy dared to let a small smile play on her lips again. “Really? You think I’m cool? No one has ever called me cool.”

“Well, I do.” Missy declared and hugged Amy from the side. She flinched at first, but then relaxed a bit even though she seemed to have no idea how to reciprocate the hug. When Missy let her friend go again, the smile was back on Amy’s face and Missy thought it fitted her way better than the sullen scowl.

“Thanks.” Amy said quietly.

”Pff…” Missy waved with her hand. “Don’t mention it. Now, let me tell you what my mom said when I told her about you. She was thrilled. Totally thrilled. But not because I made a new friend, noo, she was happy because I told her how smart you are and now she thinks that you would make a great friend for her Shelly-baby. Because everything is always about him.” Missy frowned in annoyance. Mostly, she was fine with her mother’s overprotectiveness, but it wasn’t easy being left out.

It seemed that Amy wasn’t able to follow Missy’s train of thought, however. Creasing her forehead in puzzlement at Missy’s little outburst, she asked, “Who is her Shelly-baby?”

“My brother, Sheldon.” Missy clarified. “He’s my twin-brother, actually.”

“Wow, you have a twin? That’s interesting.” Amy said.

“Yeah, we get along okay most of the times, but he’s so different than me that I sometimes wonder if we’re even related at all.” Missy mused.

“Wait a minute…” Amy frowned. “There isn’t another Cooper in our class. If he’s your twin wouldn’t he be in the same grade as you?”

Missy shrugged her shoulders. “Like I said, he’s smart. Sheldon went to High School last year, because he was bored in third grade and threw temper tantrums. You see…” Missy emphasized. “Not cool.”

Amy’s mouth dropped open. “He gets to be in High School at his age? Wow, my mom would never allow that, no matter how bored I am.”

“I’m glad that you’re in my class.” Missy said. “And I’m thrilled that Sheldon isn’t anymore. It was so embarrassing.” She snickered suddenly. “You can’t imagine how bad it was for my other brother, Georgie. He’s four years older than Sheldon and he’s in the same class as him.”

Amy smiled at Missy’s unabashed gloating, but still seemed to be fascinated by Sheldon. “It’s very impressive that he’s that far ahead.”

Missy rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re on my mother’s side. She wants you to come over sometime to meet him.”

Amy actually shuttered at the idea. “Of course, I’m on your side.” she said quickly. “And I’m not interested in meeting some boy. No matter how smart he is. Mother says, all that those teenage boys want is get under your skirt.”

Now it was Missy who shuttered. “Gross!” she squealed. “My brother is only ten and he doesn’t like girls… or boys… or people.” The girls giggled a bit, then Missy spoke up again. “But maybe you could still come over and visit me. We could play together.”

“Really?” Amy perked up. “I don’t know. When Momma used to set up playdates for me when I was younger, the other kid was always bored with me. I don’t like to engage in things other kids normally do.”

“Oh, I’m sure we could make something up. Or we just talk trash about other kids in school.”

Amy grinned giddily. “I’ve never done that before.”

“I’ll show you.” Missy smiled. “And if we’re having a good time, your mom can see that I really want to be your friend.”

“Hmm, clever.” said Amy. “But I have to come straight home after school. I’m only allowed to meet friends that my mother approves of and only when I’ve finished my homework, chores and harp lessons… not that someone ever wanted to come over to our house anyway.” Amy added quietly.

Missy was unimpressed. “Then we’ll meet on the weekend. I’ll ask my mom if she can call your mom. Believe me; she can be very convincing when she thinks it’s somehow good for my brother, too. It shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Okay.” Amy smiled. “Oh, how exciting! I feel like I’m turning into a rebel.”

Missy grinned upon her good influence on her new friend. “Yeah.." she said, arms crossed and head held high. "I have that effect on people.”

Chapter Text

Sheldon Cooper was not amused.

“Make some friends, Shelly.” his mother, Mary, always said before she did something unpleasant like setting up play dates for him. Her most recent try in socializing her genius son was a bleach-blond, know-it-all of a girl named Paige. Sheldon stubbornly claimed that he never encountered someone who was so arrogant and irritating. He fussed about the unwelcome guest until Mary made her leave again.

Sheldon thought that would teach his mother that it was easier to leave him be. But now, merely a few weeks later, she already arranged for another girl to be dragged into his world.

It was all Missy’s fault, of course.

Missy met this girl in school and couldn’t shut her clap-trap about her. Now his mother has made it her mission to get them to know each other. As if smartness was an automatic catalyst for bonding. How smart can she even be when she’s in Missy’s class? Everyone would look smart compared to her, Sheldon thought grumpily.

“Why did you have to tell Mom about that girl?” Sheldon whined to Missy on that ominous Saturday morning; the day of the meeting. “Now she won’t leave me alone about it. You know that I prefer to work in solitude.”

Missy groaned about her brother’s yammering. “Believe me, I don’t like it either. Amy is my friend, not yours. She’s the first girl I’ve met that is honest and won’t tell mean things behind my back.”

“Well, by all means, you can keep her.” Sheldon grumbled, cleaning his already spotless part of the twin’s room for the play date.

Missy let herself fall backwards onto her bed, already tired of cleaning up and obviously knowing that Sheldon would do all the work for her anyway if she only waited long enough. “Ugh… why can’t Mom see that you don’t want to have any friends? What makes her think that Amy can make any difference with you? That’s totally hopeless; you’re a lost cause, brother.”

Sheldon scrunched up his face and started picking up some of Missy’s clothes that were scattered on the floor. “I can assure you if someone is a lost cause, it’s you, sister. But I agree with you in one point; meeting some allegedly smart girl isn’t going to change the fact that I rather be on my own.”

“Don’t you talk like that, Shelly.” came the voice from their mother who stuck her head in a second later. “You never know, you might like her. It’s good for people to have friends.”

“You seem to forget, Mom, that I’m not just people.” Sheldon emphasized. He could practically hear Missy rolling her eyes. “I’m a Homo Novus and I don’t care for featherbrained individuals others refer to as smart. I cannot be held to those standards.”

Mary cocked her head to the side in the way she always did when she struggled with finding the right answer to her son’s arguments. “Very well, Shelly. I just want you to keep an open mind about it.” she said and left the twins alone again.

Missy kept staring at Sheldon from her position on the bed, propped up by her elbows, her eyebrows raised. “Sometimes I really believe that you got abducted by aliens as a baby.”

It wasn’t very long after that when Mary called for the twins because Missy’s friend and her mom had arrived.

Mary grabbed the beer bottle from George Sr.’s hand and hissed at him to look respectable. He pouted and slunk out of the living room toward the garage, where Georgie was up to who knew what.

Then Mary opened the door with a big smile. “Oh, welcome! You must be Karen Fowler. I’m Mary. Oh, and you dear, you must be Amy. Missy told me so much about you. Come in, come in…”

Mary stepped aside to let the guests in and Sheldon was able to see them to for the first time. Mrs. Fowler was a prim looking lady with reddish-brown hair, an old-fashioned long dress and a small line for a mouth pressed together to form what Sheldon assumed must be a very strained smile.

To her left stood a little girl with straight dark-brown hair and black-rimmed glasses. She wore a knee-length skirt and an unsure expression on her face. Almost as if she was afraid. Upon Mary’s invitation, Mrs. Fowler ushered her daughter in with a not-so-gentle shove. She complied, timidly smiling at Missy as she passed her.

Well, if that’s my opponent, Sheldon thought, I will have no troubles in showing her what a real genius is.

They all sat down on the couch for a bit. Mary offered cookies to the kids and while Sheldon and Missy each grabbed one in eagerness, Amy looked up to her mother first to silently ask for permission and then nibbled carefully on the baked goodie.

“I’m so glad you decided to come.” Mary smiled warmly.

“Well, my daughter didn’t leave me much of a choice, really.” Karen Fowler said with a disparaging look down to her right where Amy was sitting. “I’m not used to her being so eager to meet children her age. That’s why I wanted to come along to see for myself if this environment is suitable for my Amy.” She leaned in to speak quietly to Mary, but the children heard her, nonetheless. “Unfortunately, she tends to choose the wrong crowd to meddle with and that has caused some tears before. You know how those kids are today.”

“Sure.” Mary smiled warily, but she couldn’t be diverted so easily from her mission. “Well, you will see that our family is pretty normal and nice. We go to church every Sunday and we’re keen on teaching the children to be respectful and accommodating towards each other. You don’t have to worry about your sweet little girl.”

Unlike Missy, who was already bored with the adults, Sheldon was able to follow the conversation’s context. So, while he listened, he also intensely studied the reaction of the girl sitting across from him. He didn’t like it when his mother talked about him while he was still in the room and based on the look on Amy’s face, she couldn’t stand it, either. Her brows were scrunched together and her cheeks reddened.

Must be a sign for distress, he guessed. Or maybe she’s just warm, who knows?

Sheldon certainly wouldn’t be surprised with all the layers she was wearing. He understood that she was obviously new in town, but if she was as smart as Missy said, she would know that the temperatures in humid East Texas could easily reach over ninety degrees.

He was also bothered by the fact that his mother addressed Amy so excessively sweet and showed so much interest in her while all she did was smile shyly and didn’t dare to look Mary in the eyes. Sheldon didn’t like it. His mother should be cooing about his brilliant mind, not that girl’s lack of one.

His twin sister proved to be on the same side as him for once, impatiently breaking up the conversation. “Mom, can we go play now?” Missy asked, swinging her legs back and forth at the edge of the couch.

“Oh, of course you can, honey. Show Amy your room while her mother and I talk.”

The girls eagerly jumped up and raced out of the living room while Sheldon stayed rooted on his spot on the sofa.

“Shelly?” Mary asked. “Won’t you go with them?”

“No.” Sheldon said strictly. “I prefer to stay here and talk with you. It probably won’t challenge my brain in the way I hope for, but your conversation is at least way more pleasant than whatever awaits me in my room.”

Mary smiled at Karen who threw her a questioning look and then turned her head towards her son with a full intimidating scowl. “Sheldon, go play with your sister and be nice to Amy.”

“Mom, you know my manners are always impeccable, yet I’d rather stay here and—”

“Go, now!”

At that order, Sheldon had no choice but to do as he was told. Like a reflex, he jumped up and hurried up the stairs towards his and his sister’s bedroom from where he could detect faint giggling.

Sheldon rolled his eyes. And onto a tedious waste of my precious time…

The giggling stopped briefly when he entered the room and Sheldon had that sinking feeling that the girls were laughing about him. Sullenly, he plopped down on his bed and made a motion with his hand.

“Proceed. I have no intention of joining you any time soon.” With that he picked up a comic book and started reading while Missy continued to explain the names of her dolls to Amy and which one of them she liked best.

After at least an hour of having to listen to the girls’ banal chit-chat, Sheldon observed something interesting.

Even though the execution of a tea party for Missy’s lifeless dolls was absurd, that bespectacled, shy girl provided some fascinating and correct information about the Boston Tea Party and its significance for the American independence. And Missy didn’t even tease her about it. Amy’s language was proper and grammatically flawless; he had never heard any other ten-year-old talk like that. Well, except for himself, of course.

Sheldon came to the conclusion that this Amy really couldn’t be compared to his sister’s intellect, but more to his own. Not on his genius level, obviously, he was sure of that, but he had to admit she seemed to be very bright.

That fact raised an even more baffling question that Sheldon asked aloud: “I have a query for Amy.” he announced.

“A what?” Missy asked with a confused curl of her lip.

“He means a question.” Amy answered for him.

“Oh… then why didn’t you say so?” Missy rolled her eyes. “No one understands you if you talk funny like that.”

“Au contraire, Amy understood.” Sheldon pointed out. “That’s actually part of my query… I mean my question.” he added impatiently upon Missy’s annoyed frown.

“You did it again, dumbo.” Missy deadpanned.

“What?” Sheldon frowned.

“You used another funny word. Why can’t you talk like a normal person?”

“Why can’t you be smarter?” Sheldon immediately shot back. “Which word did you stumble over? Is it ‘actually’?”

“I believe it’s ‘au contraire’.” Amy again spoke up timidly while Missy’s face quickly darkened in anger. “It’s French and means ‘on the contrary’.”

“And that’s my point exactly.” Sheldon stated obviously, but, as it often was the case, he only received questioning looks in return. He explained further. “Why on earth should someone who has apparently above average intelligence waste her time with the inferior and purposely sink to their level when her time can be spent much wiser?”

Missy gritted her teeth, breathing in to reply, but Amy beat her to the punch… literally, Sheldon assumed, if Missy’s balled fists were any indicator.

“Because I choose to do so.” Amy said bluntly, suddenly not at all shy about her statement. “Missy is my friend… my best and only friend.” she added after some consideration. “She’s nice to me and I like having friends. Something that you’re understandably short on, given your poor behavior.”

“Excuse me?!” Sheldon exclaimed, standing up from his bed. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Amy stood up, too, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Oh, I’m sorry, am I using words which are too hard for you to understand?”

“Oh, damn!” Missy hissed excitedly, a pleased grin growing on her face.

Sheldon’s cheeks turned red. How dare she? “Nothing’s wrong with my behavior and I certainly don’t want to get involved with anyone hindering my ambitious goal in life. I’m going to win a Nobel Prize one day and I don’t need any friends for that!”

“Good. Because I wouldn’t want to befriend someone who is so mean to my bestie!” Amy stated, chin held high.

“Fine! I don’t want to befriend you, either. You’re just as dumb as Missy after all.” Sheldon claimed angrily.

Now, that made Missy join the fight. “Hey, leave her alone!” she yelled, jumping up to stand right beside her new best friend. “Amy is much smarter than you will ever be. She has me and you are going to be alone for the rest of your miserable life… weirdo.” She hissed deviously and took one step towards Sheldon, daring him to do the same.

Sheldon knew better than to start an actual fight with his sister. For a girl she was surprisingly strong and she always wins. “Don’t call me that.” he demanded.

“She’s right, though.” Amy said, smiling like she was about to say something naughty. “You are weird.”

Missy smiled proudly and laid an arm around Amy’s shoulder.

Sheldon’s cheek-color changed from red to purple. He stormed out of the room, yelling, “I’m telling Mom!”

“Oh, no, you won’t!” Missy called back and hurried after him, tagging Amy along.

The twins barged into the living room in a flurry, yelling and pointing fingers at each other. Amy tried to get a word in, too, but she stood no chance against the loud Cooper twins. Finally, Mary raised her voice above everyone.

“Okay, enough now, you two! We have guests in our house. What is going on? Shelly?”

“Missy and her new friend ganged up against me and they called me weird!” Sheldon complained.

“Only because Sheldon was mean to Amy and me.” Missy defended herself. “He didn’t shut up about how he’s better than us.”

“How is that my fault? I was simply stating the truth.” Sheldon shot back.

“Enough!” Mary exclaimed again before the bickering could start all over. “Sheldon, I repeatedly explained to you that other kids don’t like it if you make them feel small. And Missy, you don’t call your brother any names no matter what happened before. I’m terribly disappointed in both of you. That’s not the way I raised you to behave in front of guests. You’re both going to apologize to Amy immediately!”

“But Mom—” Sheldon uttered, not one to ever apologize to anybody.

“Sheldon!”

The twins looked down, grumbling. Their flushed faces turned from angry to embarrassed as they both pressed out a little, “Sorry.”

Karen Fowler, who observed the scene in shock, now spoke up. “Amy… I can’t believe you let yourself be tempted to act so uncourtly. I taught you better.”

“B-But I didn’t do—” Amy stuttered quietly, as if she suddenly wasn’t any bigger than a tiny, grey mouse.

“Don’t you disagree with me, little lady.” Karen warned. “The boy said you joined the name calling.”

“Ow!” Sheldon hissed when Missy jabbed him in the ribs.

“Great, now you got her in trouble you idiot.” Missy hissed back through clenched teeth.

“Missy!” Mary scolded, giving her and Sheldon the angry eye. “We’re going to have a talk later.”

“You know, Mary,” Karen said. “You might as well have that talk now. I think it’s better if Amy and I go home.”

“Oh.” Mary voiced her disappointment. “But we had such a nice chat. I hope this doesn’t affect the way you think about us as a family.”

“As a matter of fact, I’m not entirely sure anymore if this is the right contact for my daughter.”

“Mom…” Amy protested weakly.

“Oh, no! Please, Mrs. Fowler,” Missy drowned her out with her much bolder voice. “Amy and I are friends; you can’t blame us for Sheldon’s—”

Mary laid a hand upon her daughter’s shoulder before she could continue with whatever insult she was about to voice. “Mrs. Fowler, I understand that Amy is an only child, but siblings sometimes fight with each other. I can assure you that neither of them purposely wanted to hurt each other or your daughter and I’ll make sure that it won’t happen again.” She eyed them again meaningfully.

“I can guarantee it won’t happen again if I’m no longer forced to participate in their childish games.” Sheldon stated matter-of-factly.

“Sheldon!” Mary hissed again, warningly.

“No, I must agree.” Karen said thoughtfully. “If Amy insists on coming back here, I would at least feel better if she is not around boys any more than necessary at her age.”

Sheldon and Missy scrunched their brows together, looking at each other in equal confusion, while Amy blushed a deep shade of red.

Mary cocked her head to the side, wondering. “Oh… uhm, I mean, I am keen to teach my children the Christian way of life, but… they are just children after all.”

“Oh, Mrs. Cooper…” Karen murmured cryptically. “But soon they’re getting older.”

Chapter Text

Three weeks have passed since Sheldon and Amy first met and their 'relationship' could only be called icy at best.

Amy proved to be rebellious and still visited Missy regularly despite her mother's concern. But just as Sheldon said, there hadn't been any more altercations between himself and the two girls. Either he was studying and the girls were out in the yard or Amy and Missy were claiming the twins' room and Sheldon was in the garden shed, playing with his trains.

After a few successful, calm afternoons, the kids were able to be in the same room again without giving the other party the evil eye.

Mary Cooper was the only one who still thought it was a pity that Sheldon and Amy didn't seem to get along.

"And this is the first prize for last year's best Halloween costume." Missy said proudly as she was showing Amy the little, golden pumpkin medal that hung on her wall amongst some other things. "I went as Cyndi Lauper." She grinned. "I knew our teacher was a fan so I figured the first prize would go to me."

"Clever." Amy said with a smile. "Although, I'm not sure what a Cyndi Lauper is."

Missy's eyes went wide. "What? How can you be so smart and not know about Cyndi Lauper? She's a famous singer."

"Oh, like Neil Diamond?" Amy asked, but Missy only creased her nose in confusion. "My mom only lets me listen to old country music. She says those dirty, dancing girls in the music videos are not the right role model for me." Amy shrugged.

"Wait 'til you listen to some of her songs." Missy said. "She's great; I've got to show you!"

She already hurried over to a small drawer where she stored her music tapes when there was a sound of Sheldon intentionally clearing his throat. He didn't even bother to look up from his desk where he was currently sitting over his homework.

Missy rolled her eyes. "Wait here. I see if I can get Georgie to lend me his headphones so no one will be disturbed." She spoke up for the last part, but Sheldon didn't react again.

Amy giggled softly. "Yes, I think that's very sensible."

"This could take a while. Georgie always blames me for breaking his stuff." Missy said over her shoulder as she was leaving the room.

Silence fell over the remaining two kids. Sheldon's impeccable hearing picked up the sound of footsteps carefully shuffling about in the room and coming closer to him. Sheldon suddenly realized he hasn't been alone with Amy until now and he thought it would be customary to start light conversation. "She really is very clumsy." he said to her.

"I've noticed." Amy spoke up shyly and then fell silent again.

Sheldon was glad. Apparently, this girl respected his need for quietness while he was working. Something he couldn't say about his sister. But soon he noticed that Amy was getting closer again. As Sheldon abruptly turned around he caught her rising on her tiptoes so she could take a peek at his homework. "What are you doing?"

Quickly, Amy came down to her feet, blushing furiously. "I, uhm… I-I…" she stuttered. "I just wanted to see what you were doing for homework. Missy told me that you're in high school despite your young age."

Sheldon puffed his chest a bit. "Age doesn't matter when you're a genius. But I doubt that you would understand what I'm doing. This is tenth grade math."

Amy stood a bit straighter, her green eyes glinting. "Let's see about that." she said challengingly and swiftly stepped over to stand directly next to Sheldon, studying his textbook.

Sheldon leaned away from her, too startled to tell her that he was uncomfortable with people standing so close to him. He watched as her eyes quickly scanned the page. "Really, I don't think this will make sense to you." he spoke up nervously. "It's still very basic stuff, I guess, but you couldn't possibly know about—"

"You made a blunder there." Amy stated abruptly.

"What?" Sheldon exclaimed disbelievingly, leaning back over his book.

Amy pointed to the homework instructions. "It clearly says here that you're supposed to use a different method. And even though your way of getting to the solutions is very elaborate and impressive it's also not very elegant. Maybe if you're doing it like this instead…" Amy proceeded to take a pencil out of his case and quickly scribbled a few equations at the corner of his textbook page.

Sheldon could only look on with his mouth hung open. How dare she touch my property? Who gave her the right to alter my perfect math? And how on earth can she understand this well enough to find a better way of calculating it?

Amy looked at him with a proud grin, but upon his scandalized expression she frowned. "I-I'm sorry, did I cross a line by interfering with your work?"

Sheldon's mouth open and closed a few times of its own accord. He pointed at Amy's math and managed to utter, "This is correct." Sheldon turned to look directly at Amy. "Who taught you this? You are in fourth grade… like Missy."

Amy shrugged her shoulders. "I've never said I enjoyed what they teach us there. I'm extremely underwhelmed by the low standard curriculum, but my mother doesn't allow me to visit a higher learning facility."

"Oh… that's unfortunate for you." Sheldon considered with a rare sense of compassion.

"Yeah, so… whenever I get bored, which is pretty much all the time, I read a lot."

"You taught yourself?"

Amy nodded. "Granted, math is not my favorite subject – nothing beats biology – but I've certainly outgrown questions like 'what equals ten times ten' and started looking for more challenging alternatives."

"That's amazing." Sheldon found himself admitting before he could stop himself. "All my life I have believed I'm the only one of my kind, but as it turns out… you could be a Homo Novus, too."

Amy creased her forehead. "A Homo Novus? That term doesn't exist."

"I've invented it." Sheldon stated.

Amy's frown deepened which made her nose crinkle. "That's silly." she said.

"It is not." Sheldon held vehemently. "Just think about it… did you sometimes feel like an alien on this planet because other children that are your age and should be at the same mental level as you, more or less, couldn't even seem to outsmart a zoo monkey?"

Amy crossed her arms and pouted. "Hey, monkeys are smart, too. I love monkeys."

"They're rather adorable, I admit." Sheldon acknowledged. "But that's beside the point here."

Amy curled her lip in thought. "Hmm, okay… I think I do sometimes feel like I don't belong anywhere because of my unique intellectual abilities."

"See… that's why a new terminology of species is required. We're standing above them." Sheldon explained.

Amy frowned again. "I don't like to stand above anyone."

"Why?" Sheldon asked.

"Because it's very lonely…" Amy sunk her head to look at her feet. "I don't like feeling lonely… yet, I've truly been alone since I can think."

"But you aren't alone anymore." Sheldon noticed. "You have inexplicably befriended my sister, although she must bore you with her undeveloped mind."

"She's actually pretty smart, too. But a different kind of smart." Amy defended Missy.

"Regardless…" Sheldon waved her off. "You also found another like-minded Homo Novus in me." A radiant smile started to grow on Amy's face, which made Sheldon feel funny.

"You mean… y-you want to be friends with me, too?"

Sheldon was baffled by his own answer. "I-I guess… I do. Despite previous experiences, you seem to be a sensible, kind person who prefers calmness over loud chaos, unlike so many other people I know. Also, your conservative appearance leads me to believe that you're orderly and have high hygienic standards. Like me." Sheldon added. "I think we could get along if we tried."

Amy's smile merged to a happy, toothy grin. "Oh, in that case, I think a formal introduction is in order." She stretched out her hand. "Hello, I'm Amy Farrah Fowler."

Sheldon continued to look at her. "I don't shake hands."

"Seems reasonable." Amy answered without missing a beat and put her hands behind her back, waiting.

Sheldon smirked, pleased that she didn't make fun of him for his aversion to human skin contact. "Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler. I'm Sheldon Lee Cooper. Welcome to Medford."

Amy grinned. "Oh, and also… I'm sorry for calling you weird the other day. That wasn't very nice of me."

"Apology accepted." Sheldon said. Amy leaned forward, raising her brows as if she was waiting for something else. "What?" he asked.

"And…?" she required.

Sheldon chewed on his lip and then sighed. "Sorry for calling you dumb. That's evidently not the case." he mumbled quietly.

The door slammed shut. "Wow!" Missy exclaimed, startling her twin and her friend. "Amy, what have you done with my brother? He never ever apologized for anything!"

Sheldon was as astounded as Missy about the new turn of events. Never before he had wished to befriend anyone out of his own desire. Even his friendship with Tam from high school originated from wanting to ease his mother's worries. After all he was only a ten-year-old boy completely alone in a school full of teenagers. Tam was a nice guy who introduced Sheldon to comic books, but he wasn't nearly as smart as Sheldon.

However, that couldn't be said about Amy Farrah Fowler.

Intrigued by her bright mind and her shy and polite demeanor, Sheldon found himself purposely being around her and Missy whenever Amy came over to their house. He couldn't really comprehend why. It was almost like he wanted to feel less… excluded.

"This is soo confusing." Missy whined. She and Amy were currently in the twin's room studying. There was an English test coming up, but Missy wasn't very motivated to learn.

"Don't worry, you can do this." Amy said calmly and started to explain again. "In order to find out when you have to use 'who' and when you have to use 'which' in a sentence you have to check if you're referring to a subject or object first."

"But how should I know what is what?" Missy lamented. "I keep confusing them."

"It's simple. Just look at the part of the sentence before the comma and ask yourself if there is a person mentioned. For example, Missy, Amy or the teacher. If there is, then it's a subject and you must use 'who'. Anything else that isn't a human being is an object and you must use 'which'. For example, a table or a pen."

"It sounds so easy the way you're talking about it." Missy groaned.

There was a sigh and an eye roll from the other side of the room, but the girls ignored Sheldon.

"Don't let yourself be intimidated by anything." Amy comforted her friend. "Maybe it's easier for you to understand if we treat our conversation like a game. We make up sentences, which must be relative clauses and the one of us coming up with the funniest sentence is the winner."

"Hey, you used 'which' in your sentence." Missy noticed.

Amy smiled. "Correct. Do you know why?"

Missy kept thinking hard. "Because… you were referring to the sentences and sentences aren't people?"

"You're right again." Amy praised and Missy gleefully pumped her fist in the air.

Sheldon, who was sitting at his own desk, shook his head incomprehensibly. "I truly admire your patience, Amy." he said.

Missy glared at him and spoke before Amy could answer. "What are you saying?"

"Just the obvious." Sheldon shrugged. "I wouldn't be able to stay this calm if I tried to explain simple grammar to you."

"I told you Amy is cooler than you." Missy scoffed.

"Apparently so." He should have left it at that. The girls turned around again, intending to start their silly grammar game, but there was this thought again that didn't leave Sheldon alone this whole time.

Why am I being around them?

It's ridiculous to believe that I would suddenly care about companionship. I was alone amongst those human monkeys from the beginning and I always liked it that way. I'm superior. I should pity them; they can't keep up with me.

But what if Amy can? I should keep an eye on the competition.

Filling the arising pause, Sheldon absentmindedly voiced his last thought. "Amy's intelligence is earnestly lost on you."

The chair screeched over the floor as Missy jumped up and stomped over to her twin brother with balled fists. "What?!" she hissed.

Sheldon shrunk back. "I'm just saying that her mind could be occupied by far more intelligent questions and you're stopping her from it. I-I'm being compassionate, isn't that what everyone always wants me to be?" he tried to reason.

"You're showing compassion by thinking of me, but you're also being extremely rude towards your sister." Amy explained with the same patient calmness as before.

"Well, I can't think of everyone all the time!" Sheldon defended himself.

"You're just realizing that Amy is a great friend and now you're jealous that she is only my friend and you're stuck with your weird Asian guy." Missy shot back, her bright blue eyes glowing dangerously.

"That is wrong on so many levels." Sheldon raised his voice. "First of all, Sheldon Cooper doesn't get jealous of anyone or anything. Why should I be jealous of lesser minds? Second, Tam isn't weird at all and you promised Mom you would refrain from any name calling. And third, Amy and I stated a few weeks ago that we could be friends, too."

"No, you can't!" Missy yelled. "You can't take her away from me, too. Do you always have to be the center of attention?"

"It's not my fault that I'm far more interesting than—"

"No, stop fighting!" Amy yelled louder than anyone ever heard her.

The twins stared at her, flabbergasted, both instantly shutting their mouths.

"I refuse to stand between your constant sibling brawls." Amy told them fiercely. "I will never stop being your best friend, Missy. You're very important to me and I won't ever be bored by our games or make fun of you for not understanding something. I'm always happy to help you out, bestie."

Missy blushed. "Thanks." she mumbled quietly.

"But I also can't help but feel intrigued by your brother's persona." Amy continued. "It's nice to know that I'm not the only outcast when it comes to intelligence and I don't want to hide that anymore." she sighed. "Can't I… can't I be friends with both of you?"

The twins looked at each other with a strained smile whilst rolling their eyes… something as good as an actual apology for a Cooper.

"I suppose you can." said Sheldon.

"Yeah… we can work this out." added Missy.

Amy smiled in relief. "Great. Then I have a proposal for you..."

The proposal determined that from now on, Amy would take turns in visiting the Cooper kids. One time she would solely play with Missy and learn 'important things' about social bonding and one time she would spend her time with Sheldon.

Their activities varied from studying in silent togetherness and conducting science experiments in the garage to Sheldon showing Amy everything that he owns. Sometimes, they played with his trains and he tried to excite her for comic books. However, Amy found Sheldon's fondness for them rather amusing. She preferred to read at a far more advanced level than pictured books full of onomatopoeia.

Sheldon grumbled about that, but strangely he couldn't seem to stay mad at Amy for long. She was the equal-minded companion that Sheldon always dreamt of having; although unbeknownst to himself. Finally, there was someone with whom he could bounce off ideas that were above anyone else's understanding.

Sheldon felt very productive and he and Amy enjoyed and looked forward to their meetings.

Though, there was the disapproving look of Karen Fowler whenever she picked her daughter up in the afternoon and she witnessed Sheldon and Amy sharing a smile as they waved goodbye. But that didn't discourage them.

Also, in contrary to Amy's mother, a very pleased Mary Cooper firmly stayed on the children's side. She assured Karen that the kids will always be chaperoned by someone, so she didn't have to worry.

Not that their respective opinions of them changed anything in the long run.

Chapter Text

Over the course of one year, Sheldon and Amy formed a bond that became just as tight as the friendship between Amy and Missy… if not in fact even tighter.

Last mentioned seemed a bit peeved about that, but Missy found she couldn't stay mad at Sheldon and Amy for long. Not after she was the one who unintentionally brought them together in the first place. Missy usually couldn't help but giggle at the funny little quirks the two had.

Like two very odd peas in a pod, she would say.

Sheldon and Amy did everything together. They studied, they experimented and they discussed at a level and speed that left not only Missy but the entire family with their mouths hung open. Both were more than comfortable in each other's company. Something that couldn't be said about any other human being in their presence.

Somehow, they appeared to have a different language, another way of communication that often also included long spans of silence. As if they could guess each other's thoughts.

When Mary rooted for her son to find some company, she certainly didn't think it could go down so splendidly. 'The Shamy', as Missy now teasingly called them, became inseparable.

'Plop'

The little plastic ball exited the toy gun as Sheldon pulled the trigger. With a calm sense of confidence Sheldon's eyes followed the route of the ball as it flew through the air and effortlessly found its target; the smoke pipe of his locomotive.

"And that's how you demonstrate Newton's first law of motion." he said.

Amy smiled proudly. "It's so satisfying to conduct physics experiments with you." She collected the ball and handed it back to Sheldon so they could replicate their little exercise. "Although, I wish we had repeated my biology experiment once more. I'm going to present it in school in two days and I wanted to make sure that everything works the way it's supposed to."

"Amy, we agreed to switch fields every week." Sheldon reminded her. "Last week was dedicated to biology, this week it's the lovely world of physics."

"I know, but I was hoping I could exchange some ideas with you since nobody else seems to appreciate my experiment except you. Even though you could have shown a bit more enthusiasm." she added. "After all I never complained about any of your experiments."

"Hey, I watched you dissect a frog and even gave you helpful feedback for your presentation without vomiting. I really don't know what else you expect me to do." Amy giggled softly, which inexplicably had the involuntary effect of making Sheldon smile back despite his discomfort.

"I hope the dissection will be conform with the expectations the middle school has for the biology projects." Amy said. "I wasn't allowed to do it in fourth grade because apparently it could disturb the young kids." She rolled her eyes and sighed as she watched the plastic ball fly again. "I really don't know why they object against learning about the life-preserving bodily functions of an amphibian."

"I can't think of anything, either." Sheldon mentioned. "Despite it being really, really squishy, the school should have been thrilled to have you explain something essential to the lesser minds."

"Sheldon…" Amy said, tilting her head to the side.

He grumbled a bit, but then corrected himself, "I mean… your classmates. Factually, no one could explain biology better than you." Sheldon added nonchalantly. "You're just as much an expert on your favorite field as I am on mine."

Amy blushed a bit. "Thanks, Sheldon. I hope the new school views this the same way as you do. Otherwise that placement in an advanced class was for nothing."

"I should hope so, too." Sheldon said. "How is the new class agreeing with you, by the way? Are you getting challenged appropriately now?"

Amy's face fell. "It's different from the regular fifth grade for sure, but all I get is more ridicule from snobby know-it-alls who use me for doing their homework. And this time I haven't got Missy around to defend my honor." She played with the hem of her skirt. "Well… and you know I'm not as confident as you and your sister to stand up for myself."

Sheldon frowned, concerned about Amy's fate. "I really believe it would be better for you if you rise up to high school immediately. Those teenagers are dull-minded, too, but they're too engrossed in their own problems to notice you most of the time."

Amy sighed again. "Oh, I would love to go to high school, but my mom still isn't keen on the prospect of me being around teenagers."

Sheldon's frown deepened and he sat down in a folding chair beside Amy to show his camaraderie. "I resent your mother for hindering you from achieving the best education possible. Can't she see how special you are?"

Amy's face snapped up and she stared at Sheldon from the side. "You think I'm special?"

Sheldon's ears turned red. "Well… at least that's what my mom always says about me and since you're definitely not comparable to other children your age that ipso facto makes you special, too." he reasoned.

"Wow." Amy whispered and looked shyly down into her lap. "No one called me special before. Certainly not my mom."

For a heartbeat there was only silence between the two young minds. Then Sheldon spoke up again. "I've been to several programs for gifted children and institutions that try to assess your genius. They also help the parents with questions of the educational matter. I remember their names and addresses. If I introduce you to them, maybe… they would try and help you to achieve your goals, too."

"Really? You would do that for me?" Amy asked excitedly.

Sheldon puffed his small chest. "I believe that's what friends are supposed to do, right? Help each other. Like you help Missy." he said.

Amy nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, exactly. Thank you, Sheldon. Maybe that could really help to show Mom that I'm ready for higher learning."

"You could try and pitch this to your dad, too." Sheldon suggested. "I know you said he hasn't much to say in your house, but as a fellow scientist, even if it's only geology, he should understand the importance of a good education."

"That's a good point. I'll tell him." Amy said.

The door to the shed opened and Georgie Cooper sauntered in. "Is chattin' about science the only thing you do in here?" he asked. "If I was allowed to be alone in a room with a girl, I could think of different things to pass the time." He made a pregnant pause. "Get it, genius?"

"I most definitely do not." Sheldon replied puzzled. "What do you want, Georgie?"

His older brother rolled his eyes. "Mom says dinner is ready and that creepy lady… uhm, I mean, Amy's mom is here to pick her up."

"Thanks for letting me know, Georgie." Amy said politely.

"No problem, girl." Georgie nodded towards his brother. "See… that one is smart and got manners. I'll try to keep her if I were you." And with that he left.

"See…" Amy noted. "I get along great with teenagers. Your brother has always been nice to me."

"Well, his behavior is acceptable, I guess." Sheldon considered. "But I think he's only afraid of Mom's anger if he's anything but polite towards you." They both stood up from the folding chairs and put the equipment for their experiment back in place. "And just like I said…" Sheldon added. "Georgie really has his own problems. All he thinks about is the other gender and his pathetic chances to get together with one."

Amy giggled. "Do you think you'll be like him as a teenager? Biology states that there are hormonal changes in every young boy's mind that affects the way they behave around—"

Sheldon didn't even let her finish. "Amy! You know I will never give in to such primitive urges."

She laughed as they made their way out of the shed. "Don't worry. Me neither. I'm just teasing you."

It took Amy several days to build up the courage to talk to her parents about her wish to visit high school, and only two weeks for Karen Fowler to arrive at the Cooper's doorstep with a miserable Amy in tow.

"Where is that boy of yours?" she demanded when Mary Cooper opened the door.

"Which one?" Mary asked in confusion. "Sheldon?"

"The very one. He's giving my daughter some very inappropriate ideas!" Karen invited herself into the living room, tugging Amy along.

Mary froze in shock. "Inappropriate ideas? My Sheldon?" she uttered and followed the upset mother. She turned toward the twin's room and yelled, "Shelly? Can you come in here for a minute?"

Sheldon, having heard most of the rousing conversation, was already on his way when his name was mentioned. "Hello, Mrs. Fowler. What seems to be the problem?" he asked as politely as he could muster.

"Amy's mom was just telling me about some inappropriate thoughts you're giving her daughter?" Mary threw her son a questioning look.

"All Amy talked about for the last week was how she wants to go to high school like Sheldon does." Karen accused and pointed a finger at the young boy. "She said that he will show her programs and introduce her to strange people… I mean, what is wrong with following the common way of the school system? It is flawed enough as it is; I don't need my daughter to be even more of an oddball."

"Mom, please, just listen to me…" Amy begged with a small voice.

"And there… that's the influence of your daughter." added Karen with a sharp jab toward Missy. "Amy never used to speak up to me like that."

"Okay, let's all calm down a bit and you walk me through that matter step by step, Karen." Mary said conciliating.

But Sheldon was already in full defense mode. "Excuse me, Mrs. Fowler, but since, like you already established, the American school system is irrevocably lost, shouldn't we students try and make the best out of it by striving for the highest education possible?"

"Sheldon, not now, honey." Mary hissed.

"But Mom, Mrs. Fowler obviously doesn't see what's best for Amy." Sheldon claimed.

Karen sucked in the air in protest. "I'm her mother!" she thundered. "I'm the only one who knows what's best for her!"

"Of course, you do." Mary tried to calm her fuming guest. "Sheldon Lee Cooper, that was very rude and inappropriate of you to say. You will apologize immediately."

Sheldon wrinkled his nose. "What for? I'm only trying to help Amy. She's miserable in her school."

"Sheldon!" That came from both, Mary, and a lot quieter from Amy, too. Mary took a deep breath. "I want you to take Amy to the kitchen. Offer her something to drink – that's what you do if someone is a guest in your house – and let me and Karen discuss this alone."

Sheldon sighed inaudibly. "Alright." he muttered and gestured Amy to follow him. When the kids were out of their mothers' earshot he stubbornly crossed his arms in front of his chest and slumped down on the kitchen chair. "I don't understand why they won't listen to me. My arguments were sound, weren't they?"

Amy plopped down in the chair next to Sheldon, not mentioning that he forgot to offer her a drink. "They were, but I guess it came out wrong." she said. "And to answer your first query; we're only children. Adults aren't used to listening to children."

"But we're a lot smarter than them. Doesn't that count?" Sheldon yammered. "This is so exhausting."

Amy sighed, supporting her head with her hands. "I agree."

"Hey, what are you two sighin' about?" The drawling of George Cooper Sr.'s voice interrupted their moping as he nonchalantly came into the kitchen to get a beer out of the fridge.

"You wouldn't understand." replied Sheldon grimly. "You're an adult."

"Okay." George shrugged. "You think so, too, Amy?"

"I'm afraid I do, Mr. Cooper." Amy said friendly, but her polite smile didn't reach her eyes.

George Sr. wasn't one to interact often with the children, especially Sheldon and his new friend Amy, because frankly, he obviously felt a little insecure about handling the two geniuses. But even he seemed to catch up on what their sour mood was about. "If I have to guess, I'd say you got banned from the living room while the two warrior-moms are figh… I mean, discussing."

The children nodded in silence.

"What is this discussion about?" asked George.

"My future." Amy voiced timidly and her head sunk even further.

"Oh, come on, don't be so sad." George said, trying to sound uplifting. When he received no reaction, he apparently decided to use the safest way he knew to make at least his son happy. "You know what, I'll make you two some Strawberry Quik and then we can… we can talk." he said warily. Talking wasn't really his strong suit.

George fixed the beverage for the children and then sat down with them. "So… what about your future, Amy?"

Amy adjusted her glasses with a sigh. "Mom doesn't want me to go to high school, but I'm bored in middle school. I'm not getting challenged at all." she explained.

"Her mother is being unreasonable." Sheldon huffed. "She is misguided by the thought that she protects Amy, but all she does is hindering her."

George stopped for a second to look intensely at his son. "You haven't told her that, have you?"

"No, sir." Sheldon said and George breathed a sigh of relief. "I said she doesn't know what's best for Amy."

George's face fell. "Oh… great."

"Mom is so mad." Amy whispered. "She'll never let me go to high school."

"Well… I guess I understand that your mother is worried about you." George Sr. said to Amy. "High school can be a pretty rough place. Are you sure you're up for this? Not intellectually… I mean, the IQ of you two combined is probably higher than mine." He laughed nervously.

Sheldon tilted his head. "Actually, my IQ alone is—"

"Shush!" George hissed at his son, who shrunk back in irritation.

Amy ignored the little squabble and answered honestly. "The thought of going to a new school where everyone is at least three years older than me is both exhilarating and intimidating… but Sheldon can do it, and he was even younger when he started high school. At least I know that I won't be completely alone there…"

George looked knowingly at Sheldon who suddenly became very pensive. "She doesn't know?" he asked him.

"I-I didn't know what to say." stuttered Sheldon. "And I haven't heard anything official yet, so there was no point in making her excited before it is safe."

"What do I not know?" Amy required confused.

Sheldon dropped his gaze into his lap, but his father crossed his arms and nudged him in the side so he would continue. He sighed. "I, uhm… I'm applying for college in a short while, because even high school ran out of things to teach me."

"Oh…" Amy's shoulders dropped disappointingly.

"For some strange reason Medford High seems to be supportive of my transition. So, I guess once there's a college found which would take underage students, the switch will go down rather speedily." Sheldon added. He saw how Amy swallowed and then started to smile. It didn't reach her eyes again and Sheldon wondered if that means that her smile isn't genuine.

"Congratulations. That's great news." said Amy. "At least you are moving forward. I'm very happy for you."

Her sentence was contradicting completely with Amy's facial expressions, Sheldon noticed. "Thanks." he replied, however. "But that doesn't have to mean that you're unfit for high school. It's still only fair that you get the same opportunities as me."

"He's right, you know. He often is." George said to Amy. "If you still think you can do it on your own then I'd say go for it, but if you got any doubts at all… it may be better to trust your mother's instincts and wait until you're old enough."

Amy scrunched up her face and seemed to consider this for a while… then she raised her head bravely, like she never dared to do in front of her mother, and said, "I think I can do it. I'm smart and cool and I have Missy as a guide through social conventions. With her help I can manage high school."

"Now, that sounds like a mighty woman talkin'." George Sr. grinned.

"Although, I don't understand how my sister could be of aid for you." Sheldon mentioned. "She barely even made it into middle school, you know."

Amy giggled. "You'll never understand that there are two kinds of intelligence, Sheldon." Then she looked up to his dad. "Thanks for the talk, Mr. Cooper. I hope it wasn't in vain."

"You're welcome." George said, obviously proud that he could help. "Oh, and just so you know, Georgie is still in that same school, too and I'm a football coach there. So, at least you would have some familiar faces."

He winked at her and finally Amy smiled again like she always used to. The kind of smile that made Sheldon's cheeks warm up. Now they just needed to hope that the respective women of the Cooper and Fowler household agreed with them.

Chapter Text

It was a tense half hour before Mary and Karen came into the kitchen where Sheldon and Amy still waited. Mary had her arms crossed defiantly while Karen seemed immensely irritated and sullen.

"We'll go to one of those alleged specialists." Karen had said, which made both children's faces light up with hope.

Apparently, Mary managed to convince Mrs. Fowler that it couldn't hurt to obtain a non-biased second opinion and recommended a children's psychologist that had worked with Sheldon.

"Your father won't drop the subject anyway." Karen had added in annoyance, but even that couldn't spoil Amy's good mood.

So, not long after that day, the Fowlers went to the doctor's office and the young psychologist was immediately smitten with the sweet and clever girl. Devotedly, he arranged for a meeting with both the head of Amy's current middle school and the principal of Medford High School.

After several heated discussions, mostly consisting of Karen Fowler fiercely threatening everyone that she would sue the school and the psychologist if anything traumatic should happen to her innocent little girl, at last, there was an end in sight for Amy's boredom.

It had been decided that she should stay in middle school for the remainder of the school year and then switch to high school after summer when she's almost twelve years old. Thus, the age gap wouldn't be too big and Amy's mother had time to calm down and hopefully forget about her suing threats… at least that's what the school hoped for.

The day this glorious announcement had been made seemed to be the happiest day of Amy's life.

It also was the strangest day of Sheldon's life.

As it happened, Amy's bubbly excitement and happiness led her to do something that was normally very out of character for her.

She hugged Sheldon.

If there was one thing Missy loved to tease the two friends about, then it was that despite the closeness of their minds, Sheldon and Amy both shared an aversion to actual physical contact. For Sheldon it was the fear of germs. For Amy it was her unfamiliarity with showing affection, because she never experienced it from her parents.

But on this day, Amy seemingly couldn't help it as she gleefully skipped towards Sheldon, telling him the good news and simultaneously throwing her slender, young arms around his neck.

Sheldon froze, his eyes widening in shock. But just as instincts kicked in and he wondered if it would be customary to bring his arms up to hug her back, Amy quickly stepped back and looked at him, equally startled.

"Oh, Sheldon… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to invade your personal space like that." When Sheldon didn't manage to answer right away, she nervously kept on blubbering, "I-I was so happy that I… it-it just seemed like the conventional thing to do after receiving good news… Missy keeps hugging me, too, and I know how awkward you must feel and… and..." She paused again, looking at Missy for help who stood a few feet away with her mouth hung open and her eyebrows raised. "I'm sorry, Sheldon." Amy repeated on the verge of confused and distressed tears.

"No… no, it's okay." Sheldon finally uttered. He felt how flamingly hot his cheeks burned and how a metaphorical frog, sitting in his throat, kept him from swallowing his nervousness. But when he realized that Amy was about to start crying, he knew he had to say something. For the life of him, he couldn't explain why he said… what he said.

"It's okay, really." Sheldon repeated dumbfounded.

"Really?" Amy echoed. "I know you don't like to be touched, which I completely understand, because I don't care for skin contact, either. I… I don't know what came over me…"

"Don't worry. It is no problem." Sheldon heard himself say. He saw the look of pure skepticism on his twin sister's face but chose to ignore her blatant staring. Concentrating on Amy and her still doubtful frown of worry he tried to explain. "I, uhm… I understand that your excitement had caused a displacement activity. That's an involuntary reaction to a stressful situation like—"

"I know the definition of displacement activity. I taught you that term." Amy reminded him.

"Right… uhm, anyway…" Sheldon mumbled, the redness of his cheeks now creeping up to his ears while he could still feel all the warm places that Amy had involuntarily touched. "I guess a hug is a common way to congratulate someone who successfully beat the school system and is now able to climb up the educational ladder." he added.

"So… you're not mad at me?" Amy asked for clarification.

Sheldon shook his head. "No. I was just… surprised. It was an unexpected reaction, but not… entirely… unpleasant." Sheldon admitted almost in a whisper.

"Oh, boy." Missy exclaimed under her breath.

"You really think so?" Amy whispered back with another of her infectious smiles that made her green eyes sparkle.

Sheldon found that he wasn't able to do anything but nod in affirmation. "In fact, I have some exciting news to tell you myself." He stood a little straighter and boasted, "I'm going to start college at East Texas Tech next month. My Meemaw is in a relationship with a professor there and he put in a good word for me."

In contrary to the last time Amy heard about Sheldon's college plans, she now seemed to be truly happy for him. "Wow, Sheldon, that's incredible! You're going to outsmart everyone there."

Sheldon smiled smugly. "I know. I plan to oscillate between Medford and the university with Dr. Sturgis, Meemaw's friend. So I will still be living at home and keep you informed about the curriculum in the math and physics department. It's going to be very enlightening."

"Of that I have no doubt." Amy grinned. "You know, Sheldon… since you mentioned that a hug seems to be an appropriate way of showing shared excitement, I wondered…" She shyly bit her lip, looking downwards. "Uhm, I wondered if you would mind me repeating that action." She folded her hands behind her back; the picture of innocence. "I-I noticed it didn't repulse me, either." Amy added, blushing in embarrassment.

"Oh, boy!" Missy repeated, louder this time. But no one acknowledged her.

Sheldon's eyes widened again. "Y-You mean… you would… hug me… again?" he stammered.

"Yes." Amy confirmed. "Just to congratulate you on… how did you put it… on 'climbing the educational ladder even higher'."

Sheldon's stomach flip-flopped and he felt his heart skipping a beat. Only the rising panic attack, for sure, Sheldon reasoned. Surprisingly, his answer to that panic was another displacement activity. It must be; there was no other way to explain that he nodded his head yes. "Okay."

Wait, no! What am I doing?

"Okay." Amy repeated, beaming at him.

No one noticed it, but a few feet away from them, Missy was holding her breath.

Amy hesitatingly took one step towards Sheldon, not meeting his eyes. He still stood frozen like a statue. Only when she raised her head and limply extended her trembling arms, Sheldon reacted by doing the same. He took a step towards her, clenching his jaw to suppress his panic. Amy was close enough now to encircle his frame with her arms, her head over his shoulder. Sheldon was tickled by her soft, brown hair as she drew her arms closer to actually hug him. Almost robotically, Sheldon lifted his arms further and awkwardly padded Amy's back.

He didn't know how long it lasted; probably shorter than he thought. And yet, when they parted and he saw her smile, Sheldon realized that he was smiling back.

That was the moment when Missy finally exploded.

"Sheldon and Amy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-S-I-N-G!" she chanted at the top of her lungs while dashing out of the twin's bedroom.

Once again, Sheldon's cheeks reddened. "We're doing no such thing!" he yelled after her.

"And that was too many S's for that word!" Amy added, as she and Sheldon chased her.

It all worked out quite well for the young masterminds.

When the time came, Amy integrated nicely into the high school crowd. Or at least as nicely as an over-the-top conservatively dressed, bespectacled twelve-year-old could.

Sheldon had been right. The pupils, being already familiar with a weird, young kid who seemingly knew everything going to their school, mostly didn't bother Amy. There were a few who constantly made fun of her for the way she dressed or the things she read, but that was something Amy was already used to. And since she still was friends with one feisty Missy Cooper, even though they weren't going to the same school anymore, Amy was getting better at standing up for herself and ignoring her bullies.

The only one who still frowned upon Amy's new way of life was her mother. And to Sheldon it seemed like she showed that very clearly... even for his poor skills at reading facial expressions.

Sheldon was barely tolerated at the Fowlers' house and he and Amy weren't allowed to play or study alone in Amy's room. Although, it was mainly the fact that he was under constant observation that creeped Sheldon out the most. They had to stay in the living room where Karen always kept an eye on them and intervened whenever it seemed like they were having too much fun.

Sheldon didn't understand why Missy seemed to have no restrictions concerning Amy's room, despite being also viewed as the wrong crowd.

Because of the awkwardness that came with meetings at the Fowler household, Amy preferred to visit the Cooper's. Even though that also wasn't the same as it used to be. Her time was very limited and her mother always chaperoned her over and picked her up precisely on time. And only after she had a chat with Mary Cooper concerning the children's activities.

Listening in on a conversation of his parents, Sheldon heard how Mary explained that she didn't mind that Karen took an interest in what the kids were doing, but she seemed to think that Karen asked for rather peculiar reasons.

To Sheldon and his sister all of this made very little sense, but they accepted the new status-quo. What choice did they have when the alternative was not meeting again at all? For all three of them, Sheldon, Missy and Amy, that possibility was out of the question.

Recently though, Sheldon began to notice that something else was different about Amy.

He was aware that detecting human emotions and social cues was not something he excelled at. Most of the time he didn't mind that in the least. He had far more important things to think about than that. His college studies for example. And whenever there truly was a situation where he struggled to interact with someone, Sheldon had his sister with whom he was getting along better recently. And he also had Amy, who was always interested in discussing the human mind and its motivations with him.

But this time, the change of demeanor was very subtle. So much so that Sheldon wondered if he was imagining it.

Amy seemed… quiet.

Even more so than in the beginning of their acquaintance. She was shy and not as quick with her smiles. Sometimes Sheldon caught her staring into space while he was telling her about his marveling studies in particle physics. At first, he was upset that she wasn't paying attention to the wonders he was introducing her to and she always apologized and promised to stay focused.

But Amy simply couldn't seem to concentrate. It was like she had lost her curious nature. Even when Sheldon asked about her favorite topics, like biology and the human brain, she didn't tell him much. In fact, he now realized, she actually seemed to avoid those topics in general and clammed up whenever he made thematic-related inquiries.

Because of his inexperience in the assessing of social situations, Sheldon didn't believe his observations to be valid until Missy had a talk with him.

"Something is wrong with Amy." she bluntly told him one evening after their mother kissed them goodnight.

Sheldon rubbed his tired eyes and propped up in bed when Missy switched on her bedside lamp. "What? What makes you think that?"

"I don't know, she's just… different… somehow. Even you must have noticed; you're around her all the time." Missy said.

"Not as often as we used to be." Sheldon replied, laying back down, facing away from his twin. "You know I don't do well with facial cues."

"Right, but you can trust my social instincts. Something is bothering her." Missy insisted.

With a sigh, Sheldon turned around again. "Then why don't you talk to her?"

"I did. She says she's fine."

"Well, then that's it. She's fine. You were wrong." Sheldon concluded.

Missy vehemently shook her head. "No, she's not. I can feel that."

"Amy wouldn't lie." Sheldon reminded her. "She always is purely honest."

"Not this time, Sheldon. I tried to tell her that she can talk to me. That I'm her best friend and whatnot, but she refuses to open up." Missy sighed. "I don't know what else to do and I'm worried about her. She's not herself anymore and she hardly ever laughs."

Sheldon listened up. "I… I noticed that, too."

"See." Missy stressed. "We have to do something."

"But what?" wondered Sheldon. "If she won't tell you what's wrong then how should we help her?"

"She doesn't tell me," Missy implied. "But maybe she would tell you."

Sheldon frowned. "Me? Why would she tell me?"

Missy rolled her eyes. "Because you're her special friend, dumbo." she said, emphasizing on the word 'special'. "You two have this weird mind connection. I bet if you would ask her and you wouldn't take her crap about 'being fine' then she would tell you."

"Missy, your language!"

"Don't be such an old man." Missy deadpanned. "So… are you going to talk to her or what?"

Sheldon worried his bottom lip between his teeth before nodding. "Okay. I'll try. But I doubt that talking to me will change anything."

Chapter Text

The next day, Sheldon and Amy had agreed to meet for discussions about some of Sheldon’s latest reports for his physics class. While he was usually looking forward to seeing her, now with his sister urging him to find out what’s bothering Amy, Sheldon experienced an uncommon bout of nervousness previous to this study date.

He had absolutely no idea how he should steer the conversation away from physics – something he wouldn’t do in any case – and towards Amy’s alleged problem. Somehow it felt like a complete loss of control for Sheldon; initiating a conversation without having any clue where it would eventually lead. And he didn’t like that feeling one bit.

“Shelly, Amy just arrived.” Mary said cheerfully upon opening the door to the twin’s room. “Her mother told me that you two will apparently talk about your college studies again?”

Rats, Sheldon thought. Why does Amy’s mother have to be so nosy . “Uhm… I-I… we…” he stuttered, unable to lie to his mother.

“Yes!” Missy, who had been in the room with Sheldon, going over some last-minute talking advice, exclaimed quickly. She knew her brother all too well. “Yes, they will talk about college. Sheldon told me. Oh… hi, Amy.”

“Hello, Missy.” Amy waved, a faint ghost of a smile on her face as she stepped in after Mary.

Missy continued to widen her eyes at her brother, unmistakably showing everyone that she tried to communicate through, what she called, ‘twin-telepathy’. But Sheldon just looked at her blankly which caused Missy to roll her eyes. “Grow some balls for once and talk to her.” she hissed quietly and much too close to Sheldon’s ear for his liking.

“Anyway,” Missy then announced to everyone. “Since I don’t understand anything about college stuff, I will go and… uhm, help Mom in the kitchen.” Self-confidently, she strode towards the door.

“What was that all about?” Mary asked suspiciously.

“Just… be glad that I help, Mom.” Missy said, ushering her confused-looking mother out.

Amy frowned at the closed door, obviously a little puzzled herself. But she shook herself out of it. “So…” she said, turning around to face Sheldon again who was sitting at the edge of his bed with his fists clutched tightly at his sides. “Mom will certainly question me later, so… tell me what’s the current topic of your research?”

Sheldon opened his mouth, but his throat immediately ran dry, making him struggle to get a word out.

Amy’s frown deepened. “Are you okay?”

“Of course.” Sheldon blurted out. “I… uhm, I-I just don’t want to talk about physics today.”

Amy tilted her head, looking bewildered. “Are you sure you’re not getting sick?”

“I actually do feel a bit light-headed, b-but that’s beside the point right now.”

“O-kay…” Amy said slowly. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

He really tried then, but all Sheldon managed to get out were unintelligible stutters.

Amy’s frown of confusion merged to worry. “Hmm, maybe we should rather do something fun and light, like playing a game. You really seem to be out of character today. How about a few rounds of Counterfactuals to kick-start your brain?” Amy suggested.

Oh, that’s brilliant, Sheldon thought. Counterfactuals was a game they invented, but no one except them seemed to be able to comprehend it. Although, it’s very simple. One just comes up with a fact that is different in a hypothetical world and the other has to pinpoint the ramifications this altered fact makes to this world.

A plan formed in Sheldon’s mind how he could approach the unwanted, difficult subject ahead of him. “Yes, let’s play.” he agreed quickly. “As a matter of fact, I already have a question ready for you.”

Amy turned the chair of Sheldon’s desk around to face him and sat down in it. “Fire away.” she said.

“Okay… uhm… so, in a world…” Sheldon paused to gather some courage. “In a world in which Amy Farrah Fowler doesn’t seem to be interested in biology anymore… which incident must have happened previously?”

Amy’s face fell. “This is against the rules.” she said dryly. “It’s a personal question considering the real world and not a hypothetical one. You’re not allowed to do that.”

“It’s our game; we make the rules.” Sheldon countered. “And also… this would mean that it’s true. There actually is an incident that caused you to lose interest.” he detected.

“This is not funny, Sheldon.” Amy whispered while dejectedly looking into her lap.

“I didn’t intent to be funny, I’m…” He barely stopped himself before he could say the word ‘worried’. Sheldon Cooper does not worry. “I’m merely curious.” he ended instead.

“Then I’m afraid you will remain curious, because I won’t answer your question. There’s nothing that needs to be discussed about that.” Amy insisted.

“Are you sure?”

“Quite. I’m fine.” she said.

Sheldon almost dropped the subject then. It would have been so easy. He happily could have moved on to his interesting research instead of dealing with emotional talk… but then he remembered what Missy said:

“Something is wrong with Amy. She’s not herself anymore. I bet if you would ask her and you wouldn’t take her crap about ‘being fine’ then she would tell you.”

Sheldon took a closer look at Amy, observing how she wouldn’t meet his eyes and remembering that she hasn’t really smiled since she entered the room.

Oh dear, how did Missy get into my head so easily? Sheldon wondered.

He took a deep breath. “Well, too bad.” he firmly said to Amy. “Because I won’t let it go. Missy and I noticed that you’re different. It’s quite unsettling. You were always so passionate about your interests, but now you hardly seem to care.”

“That’s not true.” Amy huffed. “I just don’t brag about every little discovery I make like you do.”

Sheldon clenched his teeth in annoyance. It was really hard not to say something insulting now, but he realized that fighting wouldn’t aid his quest to find out what’s wrong with Amy. And as of now, there was no more denying that there indeed was something amiss. “I will disregard that predication. You’re just trying to distract me.”

Amy rolled her eyes. “You choose now to be socially attentive?”

Sheldon ignored her. “Amy, please. I have to know what is bothering you. I could help you.”

“No, you can’t!” Amy wailed angrily. “It wouldn’t change anything. You can’t help me. No one can. I will deal with this alone!”

“Amy, don’t be ridiculous. It was you who told me that talking about problems will increase the chance of solving them.” Sheldon lectured. “And we’re the smartest kids in the whole state of Texas. Surely, we can find a solution to whatever problem—”

Amy cut him off. “No, you don’t understand!” She jumped up from the chair, her whole body shook with anger. “This has nothing to do with intelligence!”

Startled, Sheldon jerked back, realizing with horror that there were tears glistening in the corners of Amy’s eyes. No one prepared him for crying!

A lot quieter Amy continued talking, “It doesn’t matter how smart we are. In the end we’re just kids. Helpless and doomed to be dictated by adults.” The anger had left her now and all that was left was pure sadness.

Sheldon frowned, contemplating her words. Finally, realization dawned on his face. “This is about your mother, isn’t it?”

Her answer was a violent tremble of her bottom lip and a fresh wave of actual tears running down her cheeks. Without a word, Amy wiped them away and ran over to hide by the side of Missy’s bed.

Sheldon couldn’t see her anymore from where he was standing, but he surely was able to hear her. Amy sobbed. Quiet and strangled, trying to muffle her cries. But she failed.

Sheldon was frozen on the spot, rendered completely speechless by the situation he suddenly found himself in. He never thought it would come to tears. Amy usually wasn’t very emotional; just like him. In the rare occurrence of pain or sadness, the only one who was able to comfort Sheldon was his mom or Meemaw.

But what should he do with a crying Amy Farrah Fowler?

I can’t comfort her; I’m just a child, Sheldon reasoned. I don’t know what to do. Frantically, he searched his mind for an acceptable solution to his dilemma. He thought about telling his mom, but somehow it didn’t feel right. Maybe Amy wouldn’t appreciate her comfort, because it was her own mother who caused her tears.

Amy’s continuing, heartbreaking sobs made Sheldon’s chest feel heavy and constricted. Panic rose within him. I need to make this stop. I need to do something !

Ultimately deciding on giving in to his instincts, Sheldon carefully stepped around Missy’s bed until he could see Amy crouching next to it.

She had pulled her legs to her body and hid her face with both of her arms which she had slung around her knees. Her back was shaking with sobs. Sheldon’s panic increased dramatically, but, despite all odds, he found himself unable to turn his back upon her; now even less than before. He wanted her to feel better. He wanted to help.

Hesitantly, Sheldon stepped even closer, wrinkling his nose at the prospect of having to sit on the floor – in front of Missy’s bed no less – but he figured that he simply had to change his pants afterwards. He sat down next to Amy, just staring at her while she showed no signs of noticing him.

For a moment he felt at a loss again. Should I hug her like mom uses to do? No, I can’t touch her like that without her permission, he pondered . Eventually, Sheldon decided for a comforting pat. He awkwardly raised a trembling hand to lightly touch her arm. “There, there…” he whispered tentatively.

Surprisingly to him, Amy’s sobbing actually ceased for the moment and she reluctantly looked up to him. Her eyes were red and wet as were her cheeks. Sheldon didn’t know what else he could say to her, so he simply continued to look inquiringly and concerned.

“Comforting me must have cost you quite an effort, right?” Amy said quietly.

“Uhm… well, it’s… it’s not something I’m particularly… skilled at.” Sheldon mumbled, blushing a bit.

“And yet you did it.”

“Uh… I-I guess so.” Sheldon felt like kicking himself for stumbling through his speech like an idiot, but he couldn’t help himself.

Amy smiled for a nanosecond. “Thank you.” she whispered earnestly.

Sheldon felt a warm sensation coursing through him, boosting his confidence. “No problem at all.” he said. “Now, tell me what’s bothering you. I promise to listen carefully.”

“Fine.” Amy sniffled a bit and wiped her tears away before staring darkly ahead. “You know that… my mother… is obviously very traditional and stiff in her thoughts and beliefs.”

Sheldon dutifully nodded his head in understanding and Amy continued.

“Well, ever since I attended high school, she is even more strict in finding out what exactly I learn at school. She discovered my specific interests in biology and the human nature and she…” Amy paused, looking downwards as if she was ashamed. “She thinks it’s dirty and very indecent for a girl to study things like that.”

“So… she forbids you from studying further?” Sheldon inquired.

Another lonely tear rolled down Amy’s cheek. “Whenever she catches me reading my biology books or-or even my medieval tales about more mature themes, she… she…”

Sheldon noticed that Amy’s trickle of tears merged into a stream again and she struggled to get her words out. Instinctively, he grabbed her hand and squeezed it… only to be startled in the same moment by his action. Blinking, he stared at their joined hands, but before he could pull back or apologize, Amy held onto him and continued talking.

“She locks me in the sin closet.” she whispered.

Sheldon was so puzzled that he did let go of Amy’s hand now. “What’s a sin closet?” he asked with a frown.

“It’s… it’s just a closet, really; the one in our living room.” Amy explained. “I have to g-go in there t-to think about the sinful things I’ve done. Mom hopes that this will eventually make me stop reading about biology.”

“But you won’t give in to that, right?” Sheldon spoke up indignantly.

Amy hugged her knees tighter against her chest. “I really tried to resist her at first.” she said. “But it’s very dark in there and I-I’m getting afraid of sitting in this cramped space for hours, having nothing to do but hoping that it wouldn’t be too long this time before she lets me out. I can’t do it anymore.” Amy started crying anew. “Now, I even get scared at night in my own bed. I have night terrors and the only thing that prevent those is reading books under my blanket with a flashlight. But when Mom catches me, I have to go into the closet again. It’s a vicious cycle!” Amy shrieked, her whole body trembling violently.

Now Sheldon didn’t see another option. He had to do from what he shied away earlier. Amy’s cries worsened and she was shaking and sobbing relentlessly. There was no other way to stop severe emotions like that.

Sheldon scrambled to sit on his legs, so he’d be slightly taller than Amy, and put his left arm around her back. The right arm rested upon her pulled up knees as he hugged her.

He couldn’t say anything; his throat was completely dry. But he noticed that he also didn’t have to. Involuntarily, Amy leaned against Sheldon’s side, her head coming to rest on his small shoulder.

She sobbed and he held her. No words were spoken.

After an indefinable length of time, Amy’s sobbing ceased and she sat up straighter again. Tentatively, Sheldon removed his arms from around her and continued to sit there silently, waiting for a response.

Amy clenched her fists, nervously looking around on the floor as if she expected to find an answer lying there. Finally, she cleared her throat, but she couldn’t find the courage to look at him when she spoke. “I apologize for my unusual display of emotions. That must have been very awkward for you.”

Sheldon abruptly shook his head. Somehow that wasn’t the reaction he expected. “It’s okay… I… I’m glad that I was able to help you after all.” When Amy questioningly looked up to him, he added, “Well, at least you’re not crying anymore.”

That actually made her smile a bit. “Right. Thank you.” she whispered.

“And I can do even more.” Sheldon stated.

Amy looked skeptical. “Really? Not even Dad dares to say something. What can you do?”

“I guess I’m powerless against your mother.” Sheldon admitted. “But maybe I could help you to at least make this horrendous parenting method as bearable as possible.”

“Go on.” Amy required curiously.

“Well… when I get excluded from games my brother and sister play, I find comfort in my work and in books and papers from famous physicists. That’s why I believe that you definitely shouldn’t retreat from biology.”

“But how—” Amy started to whine.

“Just… let me finish.”

“Okay… sorry.”

Sheldon continued. “In order to quell your fears in the closet, you could sneak in some books to read and a dim light. Or maybe some pencils to write; you’ve mentioned before that writing has a calming effect on you. I used to imagine worlds in which I’d be heroic when I was bored in high school. That’s also a great distraction from the misunderstanding dull reality you have to face every day.”

Amy’s tears had dried and the curious spark that returned to her green eyes made her look more and more like herself again. “That sounds like a really great idea.” she said. “But Sheldon… my mother conditioned me too long already. I learnt to hate and fear that closet. I can’t go near it.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll help you to hide whatever you need in there.” Sheldon suggested nonchalantly.

Amy’s entire face lit up. “You would do that?”

Sheldon sat up straighter. “Mom always tries to raise me to be a proper Southern gentleman. That’ll show her that I already am.” he said proudly.

“I feel the urge to hug you again, Sheldon.” Amy said, smiling brightly. A true, genuine Amy-smile that Sheldon had missed for the last weeks. He didn’t even have to think long for a reply.

“Okay.” he said.

What followed, however, was a bone-crushing grip that almost made him regret his consent. “Ok-kay… let’s try… not to r-ruin this moment b-by even more effervescent emotions.” Sheldon gasped between breaths.

Amy and Sheldon waited for the rare occurrence of Karen Fowler being out of the house for an extended period of time before they were able to put their plan into action.

Larry Fowler, Amy’s father, turned a blind eye to their doings by the living-room closet and preferred to smile conspiratorially as Sheldon, armed with some gloves against the dust, hid some of Amy’s books in the backmost corner of the closet.

When Karen returned home in the afternoon, she was shocked to find Sheldon in Amy’s room. Both were conversing joyfully while Amy named the functions of different parts of the human brain on her plastic model.

Because she didn’t authorize visitors for Amy – and least of all, Sheldon – Karen proceeded to officially ban him from her property. But Amy’s mood couldn’t even be spoiled by that; she was simply happy that Sheldon helped her with the sin closet.

“Now, we can sneak around behind her back.” Amy later said excitedly to Sheldon. “Like those teenagers in the movies Missy had shown me.”

“I don’t see what seems to be so appealing to you about this. I’m not a rule breaker.” Sheldon pointed out. “That’s Missy’s métier.”

“Hey, I disagree!” Missy declared.

Sheldon looked at his sister incredulously. “You don’t even know what I’m talking about.”

“I stand by my statement.” she said with her nose held up high.

Amy laughed. The three kids were playing in the Coopers’ backyard. Or rather, Missy was swinging, Amy was pushing her and Sheldon watched them, lecturing about the laws of gravity and the impossibility of Missy making a full circle on the swing despite her best efforts.

“I just wanted to convey that we would still meet at your house. And there’s nothing my mother can do about it because I’m telling her that I only meet up with Missy.” Amy said sneakily.

“That’s true.” Sheldon remarked. “Although, I still don’t understand why your mother despises me so much. I’m a delight!”

“Hey, if you want to be like those teenagers in the movies then Sheldon would be your boyfriend.” Missy said to Amy while grinning mischievously at her brother.

Amy missed the swing at that and Missy bumped against her chest, making her stumble backwards a bit.

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!” Sheldon exclaimed. “Amy and I are just good friends. Our species of Homo Novus is way too advanced to fall for something as trivial as interpersonal relationships.”

“Okay.” Missy shrugged. “Fool yourselves. But that’s where I’m the expert, smarty-pants.”

A look over her shoulder revealed to Missy that both, Sheldon and Amy, were fighting to get their blushes under control. Knowingly, she grinned.

Chapter Text

Although she remained highly suspicious of her daughter’s frequent visits to the Cooper family, Karen Fowler indulged Amy’s pleas and allowed her to see… ehem… Missy.

Sheldon was somewhat impressed by Amy’s ability to blatantly lie to her mother about her afternoon activities at the Cooper house. Amy explained to him that while her mother usually thought the worst about other kids their age, she could never believe that her Amy would do such frivolous shenanigans. After all, she raised her little girl right.

Mrs. Fowler also remained oblivious to the books, Sheldon and Amy hid in the closet. Amy was still afraid of going into the narrow, dark space, but secretly reading in the wan light of a lamp made her feel much better about it. Aside from that, reading her biology books also reminded her of Sheldon. Amy once admitted to him that thinking back to what he did for her, while sitting in the dusty closet, made her feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.

Sheldon couldn’t understand why this statement caused his stomach to flutter and his cheeks to glow.

The two exceptional children both ignored Missy’s teasing and the ridiculous kissy-faces she threw at them whenever they were alone in a room and continued their innocent, young friendship without a care in the world.

That was until a whole year later, when that embarrassing topic of pair-bonding glaringly came forward again.

This time Missy swore she had nothing to do with it; although Sheldon later blamed her for infesting Amy with her juvenile thoughts.

It all started while Sheldon was working on his college studies. His hearing picked up his sister’s voice, telling someone that now probably wasn’t a good time to come into his room. The other person obviously didn’t listen to her, because soon enough the door handle was pushed down and the door opened, revealing Amy standing behind it.

“Oh, hello Amy.” Sheldon said cheerfully. “I didn’t know you were coming by today.”

Amy’s curious glance was only focused on him for a split second before finding another target. She noticeably narrowed her eyes without even saying ‘hello’.

“That’s Amy?” another girl’s voice spoke up from behind Sheldon. She stood up from Sheldon’s desk chair, completely ignored Amy’s scowl and greeted her sweetly. “Hi, so good to meet you. I heard so much about you.” she said, grinning overly enthusiastic and stroking her bleach-blond hair behind her ear before extending her hand towards Amy. “I’m Paige.”

For some strange reason, Sheldon gulped uncomfortably as the two girls stood across from each other and Amy eyed Paige up and down with that unusual dark frown on her face.

“I don’t shake hands.” Amy finally muttered.

“Oh.” Paige said, not one bit less enthusiastic. “So, you’re like him.” She nudged Sheldon’s shoulder.

Amy clenched her jaw. “Yes. Exactly like him.” she stated defiantly.

“I told you, you wouldn’t like it.” Missy singsonged from the doorway.

Ignoring his twin sister, Sheldon cleared his dry throat to speak up. “Uhm… let me introduce you to each other.” he said. “Amy… Paige goes to the same college class as me. Paige, this is my friend Amy.”

“Yeah, obviously I picked that up, silly.” Paige chuckled. “I always wanted to meet you, Amy.”

“Is that so?” Amy inquired icily. “And since when exactly do you know Sheldon?”

“Oh, we met in Dr. Sturgis’ class about quantum chromodynamics when we were about ten. Remember that Sheldon, we were the youngest students… well, I was the youngest student, being born a month after you.” she giggled.

“Yes, I remember.” Sheldon sighed, rolling his eyes. “I can remember everything, which, ironically, you always seem to forget.”

“Anyway,” Paige continued unimpressed. “It turned out that Sheldon applied for the same college I did, only I did get accepted first. And before we knew it, we ran into each other again in most of the classes.” Paige laughed. “Isn’t that amazing.”

Amy smiled thinly. “Yeah… amazing that Sheldon never even mentioned you.”

Sheldon’s cheeks reddened even more when both girls turned their eyes on him. He swallowed.

“You never mentioned me? Oh, Shelly, I’m hurt.” Paige lamented good-naturedly.

“Shelly?” Amy exclaimed with raised eyebrows. “I thought you hated nicknames?”

“I do!” Sheldon quickly sputtered. “No one except Mom is allowed to call me that. I told you that repeatedly, Paige!”

“Aw, but it’s such a cute name.” Paige stressed gleefully and laid an arm around Sheldon, who hurriedly skittered away from her.

Sheldon was getting more uncomfortable by the minute and he didn’t even understand why. He was used to Paige, being disturbingly quick with showing affection, so it shouldn’t surprise him or make him jump like that. But that stormy, wild glance that seemed to burn right through him and was coming from Amy was brand new. He couldn’t fathom what made her look at him like that; it completely threw him off.

“Sheldon…” Amy said, fighting to keep a nonchalant tone. “Why did you never mention her when you seemingly knew her just as long as you know me?”

“Actually, I know him a bit longer.” Paige remarked. “Apparently, we missed each other by just a few weeks.”

“Save it!” Amy snapped.

“Amy…” Sheldon said, shocked by her untypical impatience. “Did you get that sort of tone from Missy?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Amy hissed, crossing her arms.

Sheldon figured that there was no point in mentioning that she hasn’t answered his question, either and instead rushed to explain before Amy could look any more intimidating. “I-I never saw reason to. Paige is just a fellow college student and because we’re the only ones at the age of thirteen in the whole university, the professor obviously thinks it’s a good idea to constantly put us together for reports and projects. That’s what we were doing here. Research. It’s not t-that I even enjoy working with her.”

“Yeah, you do a bit.” Paige cut in, grinning slyly. “You always say how refreshing it is that you don’t have to dumb down science for the ordinary people.”

“No.” Sheldon emphasized when the green fire in Amy’s eyes seemed to flare up dangerously. “I said I enjoyed that I don’t have to dumb anything down in my conversations with Amy.”

“Well, yeah, but she only aspires to be a biologist one day, not a physicist or mathematician like us.” said Paige. “Didn’t you agree that ours is the far more prestigious field?”

Amy’s face suddenly lost all its rigor. Her crossed arms dropped to her sides. “You… you really think that?” she asked Sheldon quietly. The look she gave him made him feel even worse than before.

“Uh… I-I did, but—” Sheldon had wanted to say more, but Amy’s face darkened so much that he was perplexed for only one second too long.

“I see.” Amy said. “Well, if that’s the case t-then I better go leave you to your… prestigious research” she spat. “And I’ll go and play with Missy… like that’s all I can do.”

“I think that’ll be best.” Paige said with a smile.

Amy gave her a chilling, murderous glare. Then she quickly strode out of the room, past an equally glaring Missy, and slammed the door a bit louder than necessary.

Sheldon gulped. What just happened? Something was telling him that he should go and talk to Amy even though he didn’t know what to say. He could point out to her that she didn’t let him finish his sentence, but Sheldon wasn’t sure if that would calm Amy. Why did she seem so upset anyway? I did nothing wrong, didn’t I? Sheldon wondered.

“Can we get back to work now?” Paige asked with a hopeful grin.

Sheldon blinked distractedly. “Yes… yes, I guess we can.”

But Sheldon couldn’t really focus anymore. Amy may be gone, but the uncomfortable feeling she brought with her when she entered the room, stayed.

Much later, Paige already went home and Mary Cooper would soon call everyone to dinner, Sheldon found himself in the backyard, just a few feet away from the shed.

He had searched the whole house for Missy and Amy until his mom indicated to him that they were opening a girl’s club in the shed. She found it rather adorable. Sheldon rolled his eyes, thinking about his mother. Sometimes , he thought, she’s just too pure and innocent for this world.

Sheldon stared at the wooden door ahead. He didn’t know what made him so nervous. He was done with his work and now it was time for some light fun. If Amy was around, he always turned to her and Missy for that. This time was no difference.

At least, that’s what he was trying to tell himself.

Sheldon realized that maybe there was some unfinished business left to deal with, but he hoped that he was able to sort it out in the calm and rational manner he was used to from Amy.

He knocked. “Amy and Missy. Amy and Missy. Amy and Missy.” It only started as a joke to knock three times while repeating the name of the person he expected to find on the other side of the door. But recently he began liking this ritual so much that he found himself unable to skip it whenever he was faced with a closed door.

Missy opened with an annoyed scowl, immediately closing the door behind her and standing in front of it with her arms crossed. “What do you want?” she challenged.

Sheldon stood a bit straighter. The twins were starting to outgrow Amy slowly but surely. “I’d like to speak with Amy.”

“Well, that’s too bad. Girl’s club; clueless boys and annoying brothers are not allowed.”

Sheldon crossed his own arms, narrowing his eyes. “And there is your flaw. I’m neither clueless nor annoying; now let me in.”

Missy unhurriedly raised an eyebrow. “But you are a boy, aren’t ya?”

Sheldon paused. “Well… yeah, but—”

“Ciao!” Missy waved with a fake smile and turned around.

“Wait!” Sheldon called out. “My trains are in there. You can’t claim exclusive reign over the shed while I still got property inside.”

“Watch me.” Missy said, crossing her arms again.

Behind her the door was opening slowly and Amy stuck her head out. “It’s okay, Missy. You can let him in.”

Missy sighed, narrowing her eyes at her brother and poking a finger against his chest. “You’re not going to hurt her again. Or else.”

“Again?” Sheldon frowned. “I haven’t done such a thing.”

Missy rolled her eyes. “Clueless, like I said.” she told Amy. “I leave you alone now. Just tell me when I need to punch him.”

Finally, Missy stepped aside and let Sheldon pass while she was marching towards the house.

“The nerve of her calling me clueless.” Sheldon muttered, walking into the shed. He froze for a moment. Now that he had overcome the first boundary, he wasn’t sure what he was actually supposed to do. Settling for something familiar, Sheldon went over to set up his trains. “What was Missy even talking about?” he asked Amy, who closed the door.

“Uhm, I’m not so sure.” Amy answered, nervously rubbing her hands together and stepping closer to watch Sheldon, fiddling with the train models. “She was ranting a lot about… uhm, about things. I’m not quite sure I followed.”

Sheldon nodded and went back to setting the locomotive on the track. Silence stretched on; a rather different silence than the comfortable one they were used to. Sheldon was relieved when the little train engine finally made a sound and happily chugged away on the tracks.

But, regardless, the silence lingered.

“Did I…” Sheldon eventually started shyly. “D-Did I really hurt you somehow?”

Amy swallowed, wringing her hands. “That’s just it. I… I don’t know. Missy said you did a-and… and somewhere inside of me…” she vaguely circled her stomach region. “There is a strange, undefinable feeling, agreeing with her, but I can’t quite… understand it.” Amy sighed. “It’s very frustrating.”

Sheldon briefly looked up at her. “I think I can imagine why that must be frustrating for you. Recently, I, too, get overwhelmed by new, unpleasant feelings I can’t even begin to describe. I presume that must be one of the horrors that puberty holds in store for us.”

“I guess so.” Amy slumped down on a folding chair. “Oh, teenage brain, you work in mysterious ways.”

Sheldon nodded in agreement. “In times like these I prefer to practice the Vulcan art of Kolinahr to suppress those feelings.”

“That was a reference to your beloved Star Trek show, right?” Amy assumed. “Yeah, I’m not sure this will work for me.”

Suddenly struck by a fascinating idea, Sheldon stopped the trains and turned around to face Amy. “We also could approach the subject scientifically and draw up a chart to pinpoint the feeling you get afflicted by with the process of elimination.”

Amy perked up. “Color me intrigued.”

Sheldon smiled and rushed towards the other side of the shed to pull out an old chalkboard Missy used for drawing as a child. He set it up in front of Amy and then looked for a piece of chalk. “Well then…” he said when he found one. “Describe the feeling to me. When did it start to appear?”

Amy didn’t have to think long. “Actually, the moment I entered your room and saw that girl… Paige.” She growled… then realized what she just did and straightened up in her chair. “Hey, I just got the same feeling again when I thought about her.”

Sheldon wrote ‘trigger’ on the chalkboard, drew an arrow and wrote down Paige’s name. “Interesting. So… what did you feel? Would you say it was a positive or negative feeling?”

“Oh, definitely negative.” Amy stated. “I was angry, but also sad at the same time. Somehow, I felt… disappointed for some reason… but, however, anger was the strongest feeling.”

Sheldon scribbled on the board. “Were you angry at me or Paige?”

Amy tilted her head in thought. “Paige for most of the time, but at the end I was angry at you, too, when she indicated that you view biology as a subpar field in science.”

“Oh, that one I can clear up right away.” Sheldon said and stopped writing. “It’s true that I said that, but it was a long time ago when you and I weren’t even friends yet. I had been angry at you and Missy for teasing me and then I randomly met Paige again at a lecture. That’s when I first told her about you. But you can rest assure that I think differently about biology now.”

“Okay.” Amy said, looking pensively at Sheldon. “I think that makes me feel better about you… but I’m still angry at Paige.”

Lifting the chalk to the board again, Sheldon asked, “But what did she do exactly to anger you? I still find that very confusing.”

“Me too.” Amy sighed. “I know that from a logical standpoint she did nothing to upset me. She seemed nice and polite and she didn’t intentionally made fun of me… but… when I think back to the way she was casually touching you and smiling at you… oh, that made me want to punch her.” Amy growled.

Sheldon raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Wow… that must have been Missy’s influence. You were never one looking for physical altercations.”

“No, but this time I really wanted to.” Amy affirmed.

“So, you experienced great emotional feelings caused by interactions between me and Paige.” Sheldon muttered while writing. “To be honest, I don’t care for Paige’s touching, either. I try to avoid her contact as much as possible, but she simply won’t listen. Her smiles seem wrong to me, too. In contrary to me, she’s exorbitantly arrogant and always needs to have the last word in everything. She really annoys me most of the time.”

Sheldon paused writing on the board. “I’m sorry.” he said, turning around to Amy. “I didn’t mean to rant about Paige. That’s fairly off topic in this analysis.”

“No, it made me realize something.” Amy remarked excitedly, pausing to verbalize her thoughts and emotions. “You, stating that you don't like her, makes me… happy.” Sheldon wrinkled his forehead. “It’s amazing,” Amy continued. “All of that anger I felt before is now… gone. It just vanished into thin air.”

“That’s peculiar.” Sheldon said. “If I have to add any more feelings to this chart, I think I’m going to need a bigger board.”

Amy chuckled. “I believe that’ll be all. We can start drawing conclusions and eliminate the improbable ones. Then we’ll see what’s left.”

Sheldon and Amy studied the board, trying to make sense of it. Amy voted for a sudden burst of teenage hormones, but simultaneously stated that this normally happens more subtle than immediately wanting to punch someone she’d never met before. Sheldon was still trying to place the blame on Missy for that. He was also believing in an alien parasite as a cause, but Amy shut that down cold.

“The only other thing that comes to my mind,” Sheldon said eventually. “Is that you could have been intimidated by another person in my immediate environment, because you didn’t want to share the enlightening thoughts my brain constantly emits.”

Amy frowned, clenching her hands in her lap. “Hmm, that actually sounds vaguely like something Missy had mentioned earlier.” Nervously, Amy looked at the floor.

“I doubt that it’s valid coming from Missy.” said Sheldon.

“But need I remind you that this deals with a social situation and that Missy is exceedingly more adept at those than you or me?” Amy noted.

“Hm, maybe.” Sheldon grumbled. “What did she suggest?”

“Well, she… uhm… she stated the possibility that rather than not wanting to share your undoubtedly genius thoughts, I… I maybe don’t want to share… you.”

Sheldon made a face of utter confusion. “What do you mean by you don’t want to share me?”

“Just the fact that I… I really like you.” Amy whispered.

“I like you, too.” Sheldon replied immediately, still not seeing where this was leading. “So, what is your point?”

Amy’s face instantly lit up at his statement, but the answer she was giving still seemed to make her even more nervous. “Maybe… I-I don’t want anyone else to like you.” she stuttered.

Sheldon cocked his head to the side. “But a lot of people like me.”

“Not like that.” Amy said.

“Like what?”

“Well…” Amy started to blush furiously and couldn’t look Sheldon in the eyes. “More than just… like.” she mumbled.

For a moment, Sheldon stared at her helplessly, trying to understand what she was saying. More than like? What’s more? Suddenly, his eyes grew big and a blush started to creep up his own neck. “Y-You mean…” he stopped, searching for an answer in her eyes.

Amy nodded shyly.

Sheldon gulped. His brows started sweating and his palms trembled. “That notion seems to induce panic for me.” he mumbled with a very raspy throat.

“It’s scaring me, too.” Amy admitted.

“I’m not ready to… t-to even think about that sort of things.”

“Me, neither.” Amy said. “I was sure I’ll never be.”

Sheldon wanted to agree to that, but in that exact moment, the cause of all trouble, Missy, threw open the door.

“Quick, get out of there, Amy! I saw your mother pulling up in her car.” she called out.

Amy and Sheldon looked at each other, feeling caught. Both were undoubtedly thinking about what Mrs. Fowler would do, if she found out about their conversation.

“I should go.” Amy spoke and hurried out the door, leaving an utterly puzzled Sheldon behind.

He continued to look after her, hearing his heart pumping in his ears. Lifting a hand to his chest, he could feel it beating away rapidly.

Somehow, Sheldon got the feeling that something just fundamentally changed between him and Amy Farrah Fowler.

Chapter Text

There was something else that fundamentally changed Sheldon Cooper's life.

Five years ago, Sheldon and Missy had one hell of a car ride as the underage Georgie drove them to the hospital. Their father had suffered a minor heart attack. The Cooper kids had been shocked, but George Sr. was strong and he had recovered quickly. The fear Sheldon felt on that day, however, led him to visit the hospital's chapel to pray to a deity that he didn't believe in.

This time, it wasn't a minor attack.

After a tense Sunday dinner, George Cooper collapsed suddenly and was rushed into the hospital. He and Mary were fighting a lot these days, but they always seemed to be able to talk it through after the kids went to bed. Indeed, Mary had mentioned to George that she wanted to talk to him later… but later never came.

George fell unconscious almost immediately. The paramedics fought to keep him stable on the ride to the hospital and, for a moment, it seemed that they got his heart under control again. But as he arrived at the emergency room, George made a turn for the worse. The doctors tried absolutely everything, but suddenly, everything happened way too quickly.

It was over before anyone – least of all Sheldon – could grasp the significance of this uncontrollable event.

George Cooper Sr. died in April 1994. Sheldon and his sister were only fourteen years old.

In the wake of his father's untimely death everything that happened was a blur to Sheldon.

Missy cried every night in her sleep and when she sought comfort, she always fled to her older brother's room. It was as if she couldn't deal with Sheldon's peculiarities on top of her grief.

Mary was a ghost; a broken, inconsolable shell of her former self. She tried to keep up their routine day as best as she could, but Sheldon always noticed when she had been secretly crying in her room.

Until the day of the funeral, Sheldon didn't even cry once.

He also didn't speak a word since the tragic incident happened. Meemaw delicately tried to get Sheldon to open up whenever he escaped the overwhelming grief inside his own home and he ran across the street to stay with her. But to no avail. Sheldon didn't even call out her name or knock on her door. Meemaw always found him sitting on the steps of her porch, waiting and staring ahead with motionless, empty eyes.

Sheldon knew that Amy somehow found out – probably through Missy – and that she was desperately trying to reach him. But he refused to let her come near him. Stubbornly, Sheldon locked whichever door was closest and waited for her to leave.

It drizzled on the day of the funeral.

It was the first warm spray of spring rain; the kind of rain that made all the little buds on the trees burst into bloom. Flora and fauna seemed thankful for the pleasant, fresh day, but to Sheldon the world seemed grey and dark.

The Fowler's were present at the burial, as were practically half the town and also a large mass of distant relatives from his father's side of the family. Sheldon didn't take notice of them and kept aimlessly staring towards the ground where the mourners laid down various types of roses. He did notice, however, that Amy was looking at him during the entirety of the funeral. Sheldon couldn't bring himself to look back.

He endured the painful ordeal without getting overwhelmed by the preacher's words or his family's low sobbing only by keeping a steely mask of rigid, tensed concentration.

Then they let his daddy down in his grave.

Afterwards, everyone gathered at George Cooper's favorite restaurant. Caring words of condolence were delivered to Mary and the kids and everyone shared George's favorite meal: A proper Texan brisket; not as good as Meemaw's, but still better than at every other place.

Sheldon wasn't hungry. As he looked around, seeing how everyone suddenly smiled and exchanged stories about his dad, he found himself getting angry and confused.

His father was dead. There was nothing to be happy about!

After a while he couldn't bear it any longer and he quietly stood up from the table and left the restaurant.

No one noticed him leaving… or so he thought.

He walked the whole way back to the graveyard through the lessening rain. By the time he arrived, the sun came out, causing everything to glisten and smell fresh and new.

Apparently, the graveyard caretakers were already finished with filling up the hole in the ground where his dad was still resting. A lump formed in Sheldon's throat, but he told himself that this came from anger not sadness. He couldn't see his father's coffin anymore. It was like he was already forgotten in the muddy soil… left there to rot.

It felt so wrong.

Sheldon dropped down to his knees. The fabric of his new black trousers got drenched by wetness and soggy dirt, but Sheldon didn't care. He didn't even notice. He stared at the wooden cross in front of him, his father's name engraved into the horizontal arms of the cross. He stared at it without blinking and without any sense of time passing by.

Suddenly, he became aware of footsteps nearing him. He stiffened, trying to figure out how to avoid talking to anyone right now. The footsteps stopped and his name was spoken hushed and shy:

"Sheldon?"

His eyes widened... Amy.

He reckoned on his mother or Meemaw to follow him and trying to get him to return with them, but not with her. He wasn't prepared to talk to her.

She appeared at the edge of his transfixed vision, in her black knee-length skirt, black tights and black cardigan. The color made her look more mature than she really was. Sheldon bit his lip and continued staring ahead.

How did she even get here? Her mother normally wouldn't leave her out of her sight.

Amy didn't say more than his name, but she crept closer to his side. They both looked down at the fresh grave in concerted silence for a while.

"I'm surprised you're not disturbed by the fact that you're kneeling on the soil." Amy said eventually.

"Didn't notice." Sheldon muttered almost inaudible. He could hear clothes rustling, then Amy was kneeling by his side. "Don't." he spoke up more clearly. "You're getting your knees wet and cold."

"You were sitting here longer than me." Amy responded.

"Your mother will scold you for dirtying your clothes."

"I'll wash them myself." she said finally to which Sheldon couldn't find a reply.

Silence again. Sheldon briefly wondered why she even came here when she apparently didn't want to say anything to him. But, of course, just as he decided that he appreciated her silence, she spoke up to ask the same question he heard at least a dozen times by now from different people with various degrees of pity.

"How are you feeling?"

Sheldon resisted the urge to roll his eyes. As if he would know. As if he could even begin to describe all the feelings that tormented him.

"I'm sorry." Amy said, obviously sensing his reluctance. "I suppose this question got asked very frequently and I understand that it's not easy to answer, but I… I was worried when I couldn't reach you since… s-since he died." Amy audibly swallowed. She clenched her hands in her lap. "And I… I was surprised by how incredibly sad I was, even though I didn't really know him so well. He is… he was… y-your father."

Sheldon swallowed, too, clenching his teeth so hard that it hurt.

"I just… needed to know if you were okay." Amy added.

"I'm okay." Sheldon said way too quickly. "There's nothing I can do about it anyway. Death is inevitably linked to life… I obviously knew that."

"Yes, but… that doesn't automatically mean that you're fine with it." Amy ventured carefully.

Sheldon sharply turned his head towards her. "If you don't believe me then why are you even asking?"

Amy blinked and swallowed before tilting her head downwards. "I'm sorry." she whispered.

Now, Sheldon felt even worse than before, if that was even possible. He kept looking at her, but she didn't meet his gaze anymore. He sighed deeply. "No… I'm the one who needs to apologize. I know you meant good."

"It's okay." Amy smiled comfortingly. "I understand that grief is connected to severe emotional stress and I… I only want you to know that… I'm here for you… you know, if you ever want to talk about it."

"Why would I want to talk about it?" Sheldon shot back, too harshly again. "It won't bring him back."

"I know." Amy said patiently. "But maybe… it'll help to deal with the grief."

"I don't need to deal with it. I just have to overcome it." Sheldon stated stubbornly.

Amy's smile gave way to a frown of worry. "I don't think that's a very healthy approach to—"

"How would you know? You never lost someone before!" Sheldon cut her off.

Amy swallowed and sank her head again. "You're right. I haven't." She was quiet for a bit… but then she must have noticed that Sheldon was no longer staring at his father's grave, but at the one next to it. "But I suppose you have." Amy said.

Sheldon's eyes were settled on a dark-grey marble gravestone to his left. The name Charlie Tucker was written into the stone. Sheldon remembered the first time he ever set foot on a graveyard at the tender age of only five years. His twin sister was sleeping during the whole time and she wouldn't have understood a thing that was said anyway. But Sheldon always was an especially bright young boy.

The confusion and hurt that he experienced back then was suddenly as fresh as it was all those years ago. His lips trembled. Before he could stop himself, Sheldon had started talking, needing to voice this confusion, now that he was actually old enough to find the words.

"I was five when my Pop-Pop died. He was my Meemaw's husband. He was a great man… always telling me that I should never be afraid of pursuing big achievements or learning about science even though everyone else thought I was peculiar because of it. He and Meemaw always believed in me… right from the beginning." Sheldon paused. "I loved him dearly… and then… he just… wasn't there anymore."

Amy scooted a little closer to Sheldon, but she didn't dare interrupting him.

"Meemaw never was the same again. She always told me that she had lost the love of her life." Sheldon explained. "I was… I was afraid of being sad and broken like her all the time, so I suppressed all those terrible feelings and eventually I conquered it and I was feeling better." Sheldon took a deep, shaky breath and looked back at his father's grave. "And now, it's… Daddy." he whispered. "I-I'm not even sure we had anything in common; I always took after my Pop-Pop. S-So, overcoming grief again with him, sh-should be easier." His voice started wavering violently and he wasn't able to breathe calmly.

Amy grabbed his hand. "But he was still your dad."

Sheldon almost crushed her hand, squeezing back. "Yes." he breathed out shakily. "Yes… h-he was."

And just like that the dam was broken. In his effort to maintain a neutral face, Sheldon involuntarily squeezed a tear out of his eye and as it rolled down his cheek, the next already followed. And then another and another. And before he knew, he wasn't even able to see anymore, blinded by a flood of tears he had been repressing for days.

Trying to get some control over himself only made it worse and he shook and sobbed noisily, unable to stop.

Amy didn't ask for permission when she wrapped her arm around his trembling body and held him without saying a word.

Sheldon wanted to apologize for his pitiful display of emotions, but he couldn't speak. His throat was closing up, he couldn't take a calm breath and his eyes were burning from tears. Sheldon felt like he was drowning.

He leaned against Amy's shoulder, pressing his teary face into the soft cotton of her black cardigan. Her familiar scent and her warmth functioned as his only lifeline; the steady anchor that kept him from sinking into a deep, pitch-black hole of cold, enveloping water.

"It's going to be okay." she whispered as she rocked him back and forth.

Sheldon's breath hitched pathetically, but his tears slowed. "He… he…" Clearing his throat, he started over. "D-Dad… once took me and Georgie f-for a road trip to Houston. T-To see the lift-off of a NASA rocket. But… there was a thunderstorm and they had to postpone the launch." Sheldon wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Dad was able to cheer me up a-and he got me to explain to him how thunder develops in the clouds." Another sniff. "I think he already knew, but he wanted me to feel better. A-And although I couldn't see the rocket launch… it was the best time I had with him." Sobs bubbled up once more. "I-I never thanked him for what he did."

Amy wrapped her other arm around Sheldon and hugged him tightly. "I'm sure he knew." she whispered in his ear.

Amy's comforting embrace was like a blanket of platonic love and affection, which made Sheldon feel stronger than he had ever been. Much to his amazement.

What kind of unique bond connects me to this mighty girl? I've never felt like this before.

Amy released him to wipe the tears from her own eyes. "Do you remember when I was so discouraged because my mother wouldn't let me go to high school? That moment we spent together around your kitchen table… you, me and your dad." Amy paused so Sheldon could picture that day in his mind. "He gave me so much hope." she continued. "I was really grateful for the things he said back then." Amy took Sheldon's hand and together they stood up from the soggy ground. "I will always keep him in mind as the great man that he was."

Sheldon's lips trembled. "T-Thank you… for saying that." He squeezed her hand once more, as if he feared that he would drown in his sorrow again, if he ever let go of her. "And thank you for… I-I don't know… for being… you. Not even Meemaw could make me talk about it. You wield some mighty power over me, Amy Farrah Fowler."

Amy smiled and it warmed Sheldon's whole being from the inside out. "You're welcome." she said. "And I will always be there for you, Sheldon. You're my best friend."

Sheldon smiled back. In astonishment, he realized that this was his first smile since his father died. And she was the one responsible for it. Suddenly, another thought penetrated his mind and Sheldon's smile quickly slipped away as his face paled in panic.

Amy noticed it instantly. "What's wrong?"

"I can't stand losing any more people that I…" he swallowed the word before it could accidentally escape his mouth. "That are important to me. I can't stand the change, the… the pain; it's too much."

"You won't. Not right now anyway." Amy replied warily, searching his eyes for the real cause of his panic. "What makes you think you would lose someone else?"

Sheldon forced himself to pull out of her grasp. His hands started shaking so he balled them to fists until his knuckles turned white. "What if…" he stopped, fidgeting nervously and looking towards the ground. "What about you?" Amy frowned in confusion as Sheldon raised his head again to glance at her face.

"What about me?"

"Y-You… seem to be the only one who's able to calm me in terrifying life situations like this. What if… I… lose you." he merely whispered towards the end.

"Sheldon…" she spoke tenderly, his name on her lips like balm on his soul. "You won't lose me." she simply stated.

"You can't say that for sure." Sheldon argued still alarmed. "Something could happen. There are so many obstacles that are out of our control. You could have an accident or you could become ill or there could be a natural catastrophe. The last time a tornado hit the town—"

"Shh…" Amy soothed, reaching for both of his hands and trying to open his fists. "You won't lose me. I promise." she repeated.

His muscles relaxed as she made contact with him. Sheldon closed his eyes as he felt new tears welling up. "How can you promise that? It's not in your control."

"Maybe not when it comes to an illness or a natural catastrophe, but concerning the accident, you know that I'm always careful when I move in traffic."

"I guess you could wear a helmet while walking, but I doubt this would do you any good when a drunk driver swerves onto the pavement and—"

"Sheldon." she stopped him again, looking intensely into his eyes. "Stop thinking about such things. As you said, those things are out of our control. What happened to your father… it's horrible and sad, but also unforeseeable. Do you have any idea what the chances are that something tragic like this will happen to me, too, in the immediate future?"

Sheldon lifted one eyebrow. "You know that I could evaluate that very easily in my head."

"Then do it while we are walking back to your family." Amy suggested, taking one last look at the grave. "They were very worried about you when they noticed that you left."

Sheldon, too, glanced at the cross, sighing sadly, but feeling much calmer now. "You have to promise me that you will do anything you can to avoid getting into danger."

"I promise." Amy said and tugged on his hand to start their walk back. "I won't leave you ever, Sheldon." she solemnly swore.

She was only met with pensive silence.

Sheldon wove their fingers together as they slowly walked through the rows of gravestones in the cemetery.

Chapter Text

Confusion, grief and pain continued to rule Sheldon's mind in the weeks and months after his father died.

There were times when his college studies seemed to be a helpful distraction. Sheldon was still very excited by the sheer amount of possibilities the field of theoretical physics opened up for him.

But then there also were heavy pangs of loss, hitting him forcefully every day at dinner time. When he looked to his left where his father was supposed to sit at the end of the table and his eyes only met with an empty chair. Then he would turn to his mother, who shared his mournful look of grief, and instead of his father's he would hold her hand while they were saying grace.

Whenever Sheldon thought about his dad, a feeling of constriction in his chest assailed him; a heavy weight covering the area around his heart, making it hard for him to breathe.

Sometimes it was only just bearable, sometimes it was worse. Sometimes it hurt so bad that he stood up from wherever he was at the moment and ran to the graveyard. There he would kneel at his dad's final resting place, hoping to experience some sort of comfort by being close to him. No matter how illogical that seemed to Sheldon.

But only when Amy came and found him – often times drenched in tears – he was really able to relax.

That actuality caused Sheldon even more puzzlement. The way she made him feel, the way he apparently needed her to function since his father's passing… it frightened him. He seemed to be dependent on her. Sheldon could not understand why. He always used to be the happiest on his own.

Oh, don't fool yourself; that was a long time ago, Sheldon realized. Ever since Amy wormed her way into my world, she changed me. She makes me feel. She makes me vulnerable.

The more Sheldon thought about this the more scared he got. His previous concerns reappeared: What if something happened to her? What if she feels disturbed by the fact that he was getting emotional on a regular basis recently? Their connection always seemed to be based on their mutual level of intelligence and social ineptness. What if they grew apart, because he changed so much?

Sheldon thought about his family, who was still dealing with grief, too. What if something would happen to any of them?

Mom? Meemaw? Missy? Even Georgie?

How much more could he take? How much more could Amy take? Caring for him must be getting tedious eventually.

Sheldon often woke up from nightmares filled with all those questions. They swirled around in his head like a spinning top, faster and faster, blocking out every other reasonable thought. Again, it was a sensation like drowning.

He hated being overwhelmed by his own mind. Something like that had never happened to him before. He was always the master of all his senses. He was the one in control and Sheldon desperately wanted it back. He needed this feeling of control, otherwise he feared he would turn mad.

A decision was made during one of those terrible nights when he woke up screaming. Missy came over to his bed, sitting at the edge and trying to get him to tell her about his latest dream.

"I need to get away." Sheldon simply rasped to her, catching his breath.

"Get away from what?" Missy asked with a worried frown.

"From everything." Sheldon said. "I need to get away from Medford, from all of you, from grieving, from… Dad."

Missy laid a hand upon his shivering arm. "You can't run away from these feelings, Sheldon."

"Maybe not, but I can put some distance between me and everything that reminds me of Dad. I can't go on like this." he stated. "I'm… I'm suffocating, I can't think anymore. I'm confronted with too many feelings at once." Sheldon paused, gathering his courage and looked directly at his sister. "I need to get away to refocus… to calm down, to work."

"Work?" Missy repeated carefully. "What are you talking about? You're only fourteen."

"Yes, I'm a fourteen-year-old college senior." Sheldon stressed. "I could do my dissertation, I could study elsewhere, get a doctorate or two. I could do so much more, Missy. Continuing to live here is stopping me."

Missy's eyes widened in shock. "You don't mean that." she said, her voice trembling slightly with fear for her brother.

"I do." Sheldon breathed in deeply, confirming his statement. "I never was more certain about anything in my life."

Missy actually started to blink rarely seen tears away. "But… but what about us? We're your family… and what about Amy?"

Sheldon looked at his twin, realizing that she was on the verge of falling apart. Knowing all too well how that must feel, he sat up straighter and leaned towards her to give her an awkward, stiff hug. Missy hugged him back and began sobbing quietly.

Sheldon patted her back. Giving affection still didn't come easily for him, but he had to try for his sister; the person who introduced Amy to him.

Amy.

Incomprehensibly, her name suddenly caused him to get goosebumps all over.

"I will miss you all." Sheldon whispered to Missy.

The day he told Amy about his plans of moving would forever be ingrained in Sheldon's mind as the third worst day of his life since losing Dad and Pop-Pop.

It was already bad enough when he told his mother. She had been so upset that she outright forbade Sheldon from leaving her, too. But he stood his ground, explaining that this was what he needed to do, that he wouldn't leave her forever and that he would call her as many times as she wanted him to.

Eventually, Mary only accepted her youngest son's decision because Meemaw assured her that she believed in Sheldon's success and that Mary needed to let him find his own way. However, she demanded that he would come straight home when he was faced with an obstacle that overwhelmed him.

Sheldon promised.

But telling Amy was… so much worse.

Sheldon waited for her, sitting on the white bench on the front porch of his home. Amy waved at him from afar as she came closer on the pavement. She was no longer escorted by her mother, but still kept on a tight leash. Mrs. Fowler insisted that Amy reported the afternoon activities at the Cooper's house back to her and even checked back with Mary if she had any doubts about Amy's honesty. At least she gave up on punishing her with the sin closet since that eventually proved to show very little effect.

"Hi, Sheldon." Amy greeted cheerfully and sat down beside him.

"Hello." Sheldon mumbled more towards his lap than into her face.

"What are we doing today?" she asked. "Since you finished your final exams last week, and no doubt exceled at them, can we now focus on my recently developing interest for neuroscience? It's fascinating what you can do with an MRI." she beamed. "I've managed to get an apprenticeship in the hospital's lab. Sure, they're not letting me do anything interesting yet, but…" Amy paused her exciting tale. "Sheldon, are you listening?"

"What? Yes, of course… I'm listening." he said distractedly.

"No, you're not. What's the matter? You look like you're thinking very hard of something."

Sheldon sighed, balling his hands into nervous fists and then tugging them beneath his legs to keep them from jittering. "Thinking about it is no longer the problem." he said. "I've come to a conclusion; I'm just contemplating what would be the best way to… tell you about it."

A small crease appeared on Amy's forehead. "I would suggest trying to use words." she said with the hint of an insecure smile on her face.

"If that would only be so easy." Sheldon sighed again. "I… I'm afraid you probably won't like what I'm going to tell you, but I need you to understand that I can't be dissuaded from my plan. It's a decision I had to make and everything is already settled."

Amy's frown deepened; worry now clearly seeped into her features as well as anticipated fear. "Wh-What is already settled? Tell me, Sheldon."

He took a deep breath before lifting his gaze to finally look into her eyes when the words came tumbling out of his mouth. Like a band-aid, he thought, it's better to rip it off quickly.

"I'm going away at the end of the summer to conclude my studies in particle physics at the University of Heidelberg in Germany. They've got a very impressive physics department and I'm aspiring to get my first doctorate at least by the age of sixteen."

He paused, studying Amy's expression. She seemed to be frozen in shock, blankly staring at him like her soul left her body for a moment. "Amy?" he asked carefully. "Please… say something."

Amy blinked. Life returned to her, but her eyes were still dull and deeply saddened.

"Just… anything." Sheldon continued to plead.

"What for?" Amy finally replied with a rasp. Clearing her throat, she added, "Your mind seems to be made up. I can't talk you out of this even if I wanted to."

"Y-You mean… you don't want me to go?"

Amy's face reddened quickly. "Of course not." she snapped. "Why would I want you to go away from here?"

"B-Because it's important and necessary for my educational growth." Sheldon replied sheepishly; he was slightly intimidated by Amy's forceful reaction. "You know that… the Nobel Prize doesn't win itself. I-I need to work for it."

"But why Germany? Why this far away? I won't be able to visit you without traveling half across the globe." Amy stated fiercely. "What about your family? Don't they want to have you close?"

"Well, first of all…" Sheldon explained. "Like I said, Heidelberg is a very prestigious university and I wanted to take the best chances that were offered to me. Once they received my CV they practically glutted me with scholarships. And secondly, my family and I already made arrangements to keep contact. I drafted a call schedule for Mom, Meemaw and Missy. Georgie seems to be mad at me for some reason and refuses to talk to me…" Sheldon paused in thought. "B-But I could add you to the list… if you want."

"Oh, I can't think of anything that would make Georgie mad at you." Amy only huffed, crossing her arms and turning away from him to look straight ahead.

"Amy… I realize you get your rare sarcastic tendencies from Missy and you know I'm not very good with that." Sheldon admitted honestly. "Are you really as unclear as me about Georgie's temper problem? Because if you have any idea what's wrong with him then it would be a great help if you'd tell me."

Amy continued to stare ahead, blinking furiously. "Maybe your brother isn't as stupid as you always say he is and he recognizes the real reason for your leaving." she said with a strange hitch in her voice, as if she was fighting against a growing lump in her throat.

"Which would be?" Sheldon inquired.

Amy abruptly turned around, her green eyes glowering fiery. "That you're running away from your emotions! I know losing your dad hurt, but this isn't a solution!"

"I'm not running away." Sheldon claimed. "It's true that I feel overwhelmed and I'm trying to sort through this chaos by distancing myself from the main source of my troubles."

"But… but I can help you with that." Amy let a tiny sob escape, startling Sheldon. "I… I thought you were getting better recently. You didn't run off to the cemetery nearly as often as in the beginning. I-I thought I helped." Angrily, Amy wiped a stray tear from her eye.

"You did." Sheldon said softly, but keeping his trembling hands trapped beneath his legs, because he didn't know how or if he should touch Amy to grant comfort. "But I also felt better because I focused on tasks I had to do previous to moving. You see… it's my way of… of coping… with losing dad. Plus, I always intended to graduate at a better, renowned university anyway… so… this loss only sped up my future plans."

"But why?" Amy repeated desperately, pounding her clenched fists upon her legs. "Why so far away from here? Why do you feel like you need to get away from everyone who… who would support you?" Amy could no longer hide the fact that she was crying.

Dreadfully insecure about the social protocols in this upsetting situation, Sheldon could only sink his head and swallow sheepishly. It was silent except for Amy's muffled, hiccupping sobs. Sheldon gazed up and down the street ahead of him, too afraid to look at her. His eyes watered slightly. "Would you… really want to visit me?" he asked timidly instead of answering her frantic questions.

"I-I would." Amy's voice trembled. "But now I can't. You're going to be completely alone over there. Is that what you want?" When Sheldon was still unable to answer, she added, "It is, isn't it? That's what you said when I met you. That you don't need anyone. Least of all, me."

Even socially inept Sheldon could hear Amy's heart breaking into pieces. "Amy…" he said quietly. "It's just to… clear my head. I need to do this. Please, understand."

"You know what…" Amy said, sounding stronger now despite the tears that rolled down her cheeks. "I wondered why you didn't answer me on the day of the funeral when I said I wouldn't leave you ever. I guess, you already knew back then that you wanted to go away. You made me promise that I'd be careful… you were saying goodbye… it all makes much more sense now."

Sheldon frowned at Amy, unable to follow her logic as she miraculously unraveled his inner, unconscious thoughts to him.

"But let me tell you something…" she continued. "I don't want you to leave me, either… so… please understand…" she sniffed. "That I'm very sad and angry with you for going away, nonetheless, and that I can't see you right now because of it."

Abruptly, Amy stood up from the bench, hurried down the steps and ran away without looking back.

Sheldon's movements were too slow to stop her. Mechanically, he stood up as Amy long since left the property. "Amy, wait." he said weakly. She didn't turn around, probably didn't even hear him. "Amy." he called again. A tear rolled over his right cheek and dripped to the ground. "Please, don't go."

Chapter Text

Summer came and went. But Sheldon didn't talk to Amy again. He barely even saw her.

She still met up with Missy, but Amy insisted that they either meet in a public place or stay at the Fowler's house. And being already banned from that place, Sheldon now didn't even dare to come closer than a hundred yards.

From what Missy told him, Karen Fowler was absolutely furious with Sheldon for breaking her poor, innocent girl's heart. Sheldon was unclear how he was to blame. Amy's primary emotion seemed to be anger; what had her heart even to do with this? But for once, Amy apparently chose to agree with her mother and stayed away from him.

Sheldon was surprised how much he missed her. Despite his unwavering determination to move away, it was still frightening to know that soon he would be alone in a foreign, faraway country.

He talked to Meemaw about his doubts and fears and she always managed to reassure and encourage him, but he missed hearing Amy's thoughts on the matter. She was the only person who truly understood him on every possible level. Sheldon wished he could share this experience with her.

Once, he tried to call Amy, but unfortunately he only got her mother on the line.

"How dare you still calling here?" Mrs. Fowler said in enragement. "Haven't you done enough?"

"I-I'm sorry, I just… I wanted to apologize to Amy." Sheldon stuttered.

"There's no need to cause her even more pain. I always knew it would come to this. You men are all the same. But Amy learnt her lesson."

"E-Excuse me? I-I don't think I understand—" he wanted to say more but got interrupted.

"Oh, just use that thick brain of yours and figure it out." Karen scolded. "Don't try to call again and leave my Amy alone. She's better off without you."

"But, Mrs. Fowler—"

"And I don't want to see you lurking anywhere near my house, understood?"

She didn't wait for him to reply, but abruptly hung up on him. Shocked, Sheldon stood in the kitchen with the telephone still held up to his ear, listening to the static noise. His mom eventually hung up for him and took him into her arms. Sheldon let her, still too stunned to understand what just happened.

So, at last, there was nothing else left for him to do but to sort out some final arrangements… without Amy as his helpful, advising confidant. Sheldon made sure that he will occupy a dorm room all to himself, purchased books to prepare for the classes, printed itineraries and learnt random facts about German traditions and social conventions as well as freshening up on the language.

Amy would have loved teaching me that… she loves all languages, Sheldon mused.

His preparations were done with preciseness and care, but also without any kind of passion or excitement. It was like he was running on autopilot, doing things that were necessary but weren't reaching him emotionally.

Mary was sure that he didn't even want to go anymore. But to her disappointment, Sheldon remained stubborn.

The day of his departure drew closer.

Sheldon tried to convince himself that not having Amy around had his good sides, too. Now, he said to himself, I can solely focus on my work again. There is so much to do, so much to research. I had been perfectly content before I knew her; I can be like that again. It would be a fresh start.

It was the evening before his flight to Germany.

Mary threw Sheldon a little farewell party. Although, Sheldon insisted not to call it a party since he hated those and other than Mom, Meemaw and Missy, there was no one partying anyway. His mother sobbed and cried during the evening, lamenting that her baby was getting independent way too fast. She was still hoping that Sheldon would quickly come to his senses once he landed overseas and would return home to her in less than a week.

Sheldon disagreed to that. However, he allowed his mother to pray for him that the Lord would protect him from all harm. He didn't admit it to her, but Sheldon felt comforted by the prospect that someone would watch over him… whether he really believed in it or not.

In the end, it was Missy again who meddled with his perfectly constructed, non-sentimental plan for the next morning.

"You might wanna set your alarm an hour early, Sheldon." Missy said suddenly once they had returned to their room. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, brushing her increasingly darkening hair.

"Why?" Sheldon inquired, standing next to his bed to fluff his pillow. "My flight won't leave until two in the afternoon. Don't you think getting up an hour earlier than six o'clock is a bit over-precautious?"

Exaggeratingly, Missy rolled her eyes, which was an indicator for Sheldon that there was some sort of irony lost on him again. "There's just… something you need to do that you didn't plan for." Missy said.

Sheldon made a face. "Pff, like what? I thought of everything." he said arrogantly.

"Oh yeah…" his sister challenged and then proceeded to bluntly drop the bomb on him. "You're going to meet Amy tomorrow morning. Bet you didn't plan for that."

A variety of emotions flitted over Sheldon's face, the most distinctive being confusion and sadness. "W-What? Why? What makes you think that she wants to talk to me… or that I even want to talk to her." he added sullenly.

"Don't be an ass. I know you tried everything to get into contact with her over the last weeks."

"Yes, I did. But Amy made it very clear that she doesn't wish to correspond with me." Sheldon argued. "And please, watch your language, Missy."

"Stop reprimanding me; you're not Mom." Missy said unimpressed. "The truth is…" she continued with a sigh. "That Amy felt as bad as you during this whole time. She wasn't sure if it's a good idea to approach you since her mother is dead set against it."

"That didn't stop her before." Sheldon remarked.

"It's different now. She actually sees why her mom was always against your friendship and she's afraid of getting hurt even more."

With a frustrated sigh, Sheldon sat down on his bed. "But I didn't mean to hurt her. I thought… I hoped she would understand… eventually. I didn't want to cause her tears."

"I know." Missy pledged. "It's just that… your relationship has changed over the years."

Sheldon furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

Missy opened her mouth, but then paused shortly before she could jump into explanations. "You know what… I think it's best if you talk to Amy about that."

"What? No, you can't just drop this important subject on me and then leave me hanging." Sheldon argued in irritation. "You need to finish what you started."

His twin vehemently shook her head. "Meet with Amy. She's going to expect you at our garden shed at five in the morning."

"How is she even going to do that?" Sheldon huffed. "Amy will get into serious trouble for sneaking out like that."

"She said she can deal with the consequences, but talking to you before you leave is more important to her." Missy said.

"Why? About what? You have to tell me, Missy!" he demanded. "You know it will drive me insane."

"Tomorrow. Talk to Amy." his sister only replied, turning around in her bed.

"Missy!" Sheldon hissed. "I won't be able to sleep until you tell me."

She switched off her bedside lamp. "Goodnight, Sheldon."

Darkness fell over the twins. Sheldon seethed. Missy knew how much he hated incompleteness; he was sure she'd done it on purpose. But no matter how long he kept pleading and shooting metaphorical daggers in her direction, she stubbornly remained silent.

Grumbling, Sheldon fumbled with his own blanket before he settled down with his arms crossed over his chest, staring at the ceiling and waiting for an uneasy fit of sleep to come.

A few hours later, Sheldon didn't feel rested at all. Damn you, Missy. But he still got up and dressed himself. He sneaked out of the house and into the shed, armed with a thermos can filled with tea and two mugs. Sheldon expected this talk to be upsetting and emotionally charged, so he decided to ease the agitation by serving a hot beverage.

Just as he had arranged two folding chairs and draped a blanket over one of them, because Amy surprisingly managed to get chilly even during humid Texan summer nights, there was a timid knock on the door and a whisper of his name.

"Sheldon? Are you in there?"

His stomach fluttered in excitement as he heard her voice. Sheldon hurried over to open the door.

There she was, in a long navy-blue coat, her arms wrapped around herself as if she was already freezing. Her long, dark-brown hair was held back with a black headband and, as always, she wore her black-rimmed glasses.

Amy didn't look any different since he last saw her, but to Sheldon it seemed like she was glowing. He swallowed the lump in his throat and whispered, "Hello, Amy."

She smiled shyly. "Hello."

Quickly, he ushered her in before the faint light of the shed could alarm his mother inside of the house. He motioned for the folding chairs, pointed out the blanket to her and she took both with thanks.

"W-Would you like s-some tea?" Sheldon asked, voice thin and wavering; as if he was afraid of unintentionally offending her with thoughtless words.

"Yes, please." she said, equally quiet.

"I've made peppermint tea." Sheldon said. "It's not as calming as most teas, but I had a rather short night and I expect the day ahead of me to be stressful."

Amy looked down and fiddled with her blanket. "I'm sorry if I caused you trouble with your schedule for today. I know you don't like making spontaneous changes."

"No, I didn't mean it like that." Sheldon assured her quickly. "It was Missy's fault. She said we had some… important things to discuss, but she didn't tell me what about. You know I can't stand that."

Amy chuckled lightly. "You worry too much."

Sheldon smiled, feeling like they had overcome the initial awkwardness of seeing each other again after weeks of silence. He nipped from his tea. "So… what do you want to tell me?"

Amy visibly tensed. She looked around in the room but never into his face and clenched her tea mug like a lifeline. "I… I-I just want to… apologize for the way we parted when we last saw each other. I was… I was shocked… and I didn't know how to handle the fact that you were leaving. I guess, I… panicked."

"I can understand that." Sheldon nodded pensively. "As you are aware, I'm not good with changes, either."

"Maybe that's what surprised me so much." Amy said. "I didn't think you could go through with such a massive change, but then I realized that this is different. It's not really change; it's recalibration. You've lost your equilibrium by losing your father and now you need to find a new balance, a way of coping." Amy cradled her mug before daring to look into his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't see that from the start."

Sheldon put his tea to the side, scooting to the edge of his chair. "You don't have to apologize for that. What you had said back then is right; I demanded from you that you wouldn't leave me, that you would be there for me. In return I should have granted you the same. But I didn't. You must feel betrayed. I know I would feel this way when the tables were turned. And for that I'm very sorry."

Amy's eyes began to sparkle with yet unshed tears. "It's okay. It's just that… y-you are very… very important to me, Sheldon, and without you being here, I can't imagine being as happy as I used to be." She wiped a hand over her cheek to stop the tears. "I'm truly angry with myself for wasting the whole summer being miserable and alone when I could have been with you before you leave. But now I missed the chance. I was being stupid." she hissed.

Sheldon frowned innocently. "No, you're not." he said matter-of-factly. "I find you very wise, Amy Farrah Fowler. What you said just now about recalibration… that's true again. I just couldn't find a way to describe it. You always seem to know exactly what's going on in my head." Sheldon marveled. "You're going to be a great neuroscientist one day… if that's still what you want to pursue."

Amy's smile spread so wide it must have hurt her face. And despite her never-ending tears she seemed happier than Sheldon presumed she had been for a very long time.

"And you're going to be an amazing physicist." she beamed. "No matter what or where you study."

Sheldon returned her smile, fighting back the urge to touch her face and wipe away her tears. What a strange sensation, he wondered. "Thank you." he said. "I wish I could stay and watch you strive for your goals or that you could come with me to experience every step of the way with me."

"B-But we could stay in contact, right?" Amy asked hopefully. "We could still be there for each other even without seeing each other face-to-face."

Sheldon lifted his brows in genuine surprise. "You would want that? I-I wasn't sure recently because you were so angry with me."

"There's nothing I want more." Amy instantly replied, touching his arm. "If that's what you want…"

"Yes." Sheldon exclaimed with a sigh of relief. "Yes, that would be great."

Amy grinned happily, removing her hand. "Good. I know you arranged a call schedule, but since I don't want to meddle too much with your already established plan, would you mind if we write letters?" Upon his obvious surprise, she explained further, "I know it's a bit old-fashioned and it's taking longer to get a reply, but you know I love the written word. Plus, it seems somehow more intimate than calling."

"I-Intimate?" Sheldon stuttered and blushed.

"Yes, because no one can listen in on our conversation. It's just between you and me. We could write about anything we want and we could inform each other of everything that is happening in our lives." Amy's eyes now gleamed with excitement. "I find that exhilarating. I always wanted to have a pen pal."

Sheldon couldn't help but get affected by her glee. "Well, if it's so important to you then writing letters it is." he smiled.

Amy set her mug down and clapped her hands together with an uncommonly girlish squeal. Then she promptly stood up and wrapped her arms around Sheldon's shoulders. A little startled, he returned the hug, but it was already over before he realized what was going on. Awkwardly, he stood up, too, shuffled his feet about and finally looked up to her.

"So…" he began. "That means were friends again, right?"

"Yes." she smiled. "We are."

"Good." Sheldon said. "I… I don't think I would've enjoyed this experience without the knowledge that you're still there for me, supporting me from afar."

"I will be there." Amy affirmed. "And… you will come back eventually, won't you? When you're done, wowing the European science society. This is not a goodbye forever… right?"

"Of course. I will see you again." Sheldon reassured her. "And I'm already looking forward to it."

A few heartbeats of comfortable silence passed. They stood there, just an arms-length away from each other, looking into each other's eyes. Sheldon's arms relaxed at his sides while Amy folded her hands behind her back. They smiled.

"I-I guess… this is it then. We have to say goodbye." Sheldon spoke up quietly.

Sadness mixed into her features once more. "I'm going to miss you, Sheldon." Amy said bluntly.

Sheldon swallowed nervously. "I'm going to miss you, too." he admitted. "I will write to you as soon as I've arrived and located a post office. So, the first letter should get to you within the next two weeks approximately. Please, let me know if there is any kind of trouble."

"I will." Amy promised.

Sheldon nodded and they continued to stare in silence; as if both of them were trying to brand the other's features into their respective minds forever. Sheldon was sure he couldn't forget one detail of Amy even if he'd try. She was too important to him to ever get her out of his mind. She was a constant, comforting and secure, in his currently unbalanced state of life. He would keep her mental image close until they meet again.

"I should go inside now… before Mom wakes up." Sheldon whispered.

Amy nodded bravely; a single, glistening tear ran over her left cheek. But Sheldon didn't move. They kept standing there until Amy nodded again, apparently coming to terms with an inner conflict she had.

Because suddenly, she stepped closer to him, laying a hand upon his shoulder. She stood on her tiptoes, closed her eyes and pressed a tender, sweet kiss against Sheldon's cheek.

"Goodbye, Sheldon." she whispered in his ear.

He was immoveable. Eyes still closed, breath still held, he intensely focused on the tingling of his cheek. Where her lips have touched me.

His common sense, the aversion to human contact, told him to wipe her touch away; to wash his skin and rub it clean. But, oddly enough, that was the last thing Sheldon wanted to do. His cheek warmed up and it still tingled and it was… nice.

Fluttering, he opened his eyes. But Amy was already gone. She left just a crack of the door to the garden shed open and Sheldon kept staring at it for a long while.

Then he gathered up their mugs. Amy's was still warm from where she was clutching it so tightly. He held her mug against his chest, knowing that it was the last time he would touch something on which her presence still lingered. He looked towards the door again.

"Goodbye, Amy." Sheldon whispered.

Chapter Text

Amy Farrah Fowler, the once mighty little girl, wasn't quite so little anymore.

Four years had passed since the early morning in the garden shed. Four years since she said goodbye to the only person that ever understood her entirely. Four years since she kissed his cheek.

In the beginning she couldn't help but wonder if a kiss on the cheek counted as a real first kiss. It did affect her greatly for days, even weeks, afterwards, but she assumed it couldn't be compared to a proper kiss to the lips. The mere idea of that happening thrilled and terrified her in equal measures. Because she didn't know why she even thought about things like kissing, all of a sudden.

She was still young then.

She still is, but now she thought to understand her feelings better.

Sheldon stayed true to his word and his first letter arrived exactly two weeks after she'd last seen him. Until that moment, Amy had been sobbing and hiding away in her room the whole time, feeling like she was dealing with the actual loss of a person. The first thing she did every morning after waking up was running straight to the mailbox to look for a letter addressed to her in Sheldon's neat, little handwriting.

And when it finally came, Amy felt like she was walking on clouds.

She had missed talking to him, listening to the intelligent, deliberate thoughts that went through his mind. Even if it was only in writing now. To Amy it was a blessing that she was able to converse with him on her level. She didn't need to think about what she was saying, didn't need to worry that he wouldn't understand. Because Sheldon always understood.

He was her equal in every possible way and he was her best friend.

Unfortunately, Amy's frequent trips to the mailbox and her giddy mood afterwards didn't go unnoticed by her mother.

After hearing from Sheldon that he settled in fine at the foreign college and that he was adapting nicely to the new routine, she requested a description of the city he was living in. Strangely, it seemed to take Sheldon longer than usual to reply.

When Amy went to look in the mailbox one morning for the still pending letter, she almost ran into her mother who just came back from it, holding various letters in her hands.

"Mother…" Amy ventured suspiciously. "Did you by chance come across a letter that was addressed to me?"

Karen Fowler marched passed her into the house barely acknowledging Amy's presence. "No, dear." she said curtly, sorting the letters in her hands while walking. Amy followed her. "Why would you receive letters?" Karen added. "You're much too young to get mail from strangers."

Amy's suspicion turned to reassurance. But she needed to hear it from her mother. "As a matter of fact, I was indeed waiting for a letter. From a friend not from a stranger… so…" she challenged boldly. "Are you sure you didn't receive one?"

"Good gracious, Amy!" Karen snapped suddenly. "If this is about the Cooper boy you should know better by now. Didn't he hurt you enough? How can you be so naïve and still call him your friend?"

Despite her presentiment being confirmed, it still pained Amy that her mom would simply invade her privacy without any cognizable regret. Boiling anger rose within her, causing Amy to ball her fists, trying to suppress it. "So, you did take my letter." she hissed.

"I'm doing you a favor, Amy. To protect you from future heartache." her mother argued. "Teenage boys only cause trouble for innocent, growing young women. You're not ready for this kind of turmoil. You're barely even fourteen, child."

"Who says I'm not ready? And for what exactly?" Amy's voice rose.

"Now, calm down." Karen said. "It's unseemly to yell as a girl. I'm your mother; I know what's best for you."

Angry tears burned in Amy's disbelieving eyes. Her fists were shaking violently and suddenly… fourteen years of pent up repression came bursting out of her mouth.

"You don't know anything about me, mother!" Amy yelled. "All my life you have been holding me back from my interests, my passions and now from my friends! You never liked Missy and you always hated Sheldon. But both of them taught me more about life than you ever did and I won't let you come between us anymore. They're both my friends, if you like it or not. I will always find a way to stay in contact with Sheldon, because he's important to me. He understands me!"

Amy took a deep breath. Ringing silence spread between her and her mom. "He understands me…" she repeated, quietly and exhausted from her outburst. "More than you ever will."

Mother and daughter stood across from each other. In reality, there were only a few steps between them, but emotionally, it felt more like the distance that separated the earth from the moon.

Frustrated tears brimmed in Amy's eyes, but now, in her first moment of defiance, Amy refused to show any sign of weakness. So, she quickly ran into her room and locked herself in.

This had been the first big fight between her and her mother.

Amy actually felt quite good about it; the sensation that spread within her felt cathartic. After that, determination settled in. Oh, yes, she would find a way to contact Sheldon. Nothing, other than 5000 miles, would ever stand between them.

Her plan was quite simple. She informed Sheldon about her fight with her mother and asked him to send his letters to his own home from now on. Missy excitedly agreed to play delivery girl and made sure that Amy immediately got Sheldon's letters without Karen Fowler noticing.

This new routine went without further disturbance.

Amy and Sheldon conversed monthly, openly telling each other about everything that occurred in their separate lives and lamenting that they couldn't be there in person to share their experiences.

As Amy suspected, Sheldon flourished in his chosen field, publishing his revolutionary thoughts, speaking in front of renowned scientists and winning awards for his innovations. Sheldon's reputation was growing steadily, albeit yet at a small scale. He was known as the wunderkind from Texas over there.

Amy's own accomplishments weren't as notable to the society but just as exciting to her. She learnt to be more independent and quickly managed to take care of herself and the things she strived for without her mother's approval. Their relationship grew colder, but Amy could still rely on her father's support when she was eventually looking for a college herself.

Sheldon always wrote to her that she should think big, but Amy never thought that this particular advice would work as well as it ultimately did:

When she turned sixteen, Amy was accepted at the prestigious university of Harvard.

The uproar of Karen Fowler about her daughter moving away at her age was tremendous, but Amy couldn't care less. She was so glad that she was finally able to escape the boredom that was high school and more than ready to study everything there is to know about neurobiology, her chosen field of work.

The only thing that made Amy's heart ache was leaving Missy behind. Although, her bestie promised to stay in contact and help her out 'whenever those college snobs made fun of her', as Missy had put it. Still, it was a bit scary to be alone and without any friends once more. In a different state of the country no less.

The reminder that she wasn't alone at all came promptly, shortly after her move. Of course, Sheldon found out about her matriculation and sent his next letter to Amy's new address at Harvard in Boston, Massachusetts:

"Dear Amy,

Congratulations to your acceptance at Harvard. I always knew that you were bound to achieve great things once you were free from – excuse me for saying – your mother's claws. Your academic journey begins now and I wish you the best of luck. As it happens, I have to tell you some great news myself:

From now on you might as well call me Dr. Cooper.

I've recently received my first Ph.D. in particle physics. They're all very impressed by me here, but that's only natural I suppose. They may be very bright people, but they're not used to the presence of an intellect like me. However, what would flatter me even more is if you were impressed by me, too… I hope you are. I'm looking forward to hear all about your studies soon.

Sincerely yours, Dr. S. L. Cooper."

Oh, Amy was impressed. And how.

That Sheldon valued her approval more than those of other physicists made her feel warm and insanely euphoric.

She immediately wrote back, describing her work and the joys that her newly found freedom brought with it. She told him that she was happier than she'd ever been in her life and that she wished to be able to give him a hug… 'To congratulate you on climbing the educational ladder even higher' she quoted herself, faithfully knowing that he would remember the last time she had said it.

Their letter correspondence continued frequently and despite the fact that they were still not seeing each other face-to-face, they managed to somehow grow even closer together.

Now that they weren't surveilled by their overbearing mothers anymore, Amy found it easier to admit outright to Sheldon that she missed him. She didn't know how he would react to it, but she had to get it out there in the open… because it was true. With each and every day that she was living alone, she was missing him more.

Sheldon's response was a very short letter consisting of only four words:

"I miss you, too."

Another two years later, change was about to happen for the two best friends.

Rather exciting changes.

Eighteen-year-old Sheldon, fresh from receiving his second doctorate, got head-hunted by the California Institute of Technology; Caltech for short. Since Sheldon found that it was time for him to actually earn money with his ground-breaking research in string theory, he was definitely interested in pursuing their call.

Amy told him that she was excited that he would finally be back in the states, even if, ironically, he couldn't be farther away from her again; he on the west coast and she on the east coast.

Amy couldn't help but feel like she was still dragging behind and never quite able to catch up with him. First it was high school, then college and now Sheldon was again ahead of her despite them being at the same age and the same level of intellectual prowess. It almost seemed like fate was laying stones in their way, preventing them from finding each other again.

Amy didn't mention anything about her musings about fate to Sheldon, knowing that he didn't believe in such hokum.

But, regardless, Sheldon proved to think alike.

Which brought them to right now; two weeks after Amy sent Sheldon her letter of congratulations on his job offer.

On her way to the post office Amy had a spring in her step, knowing that Sheldon's response was due. She was excited to find out when to expect him back on the same continent and hoped that maybe he would make a detour to Boston before flying to California.

With Sheldon's letter in her hand, she hurried back to the university and her private dorm room, already ripping open the seam before she gave the door a shove with her foot, effectively closing it. Amy let herself fall on the bed, bouncing slightly with her arms propped up to read.

As her eyes flew over the words, Amy's jaw started dropping. She had to sit up and read again to make sure she didn't imagine things:

"Dear Amy,

I know in my last letter I seemed rather sure that I would want to take that job offer from Caltech, but recently I began to have some doubts. I couldn't help but think about what you wrote… how ironic it is that we're again as far away from each other as continental borders enable. It occurred to me that this time it doesn't have to be this way! Caltech wants me, but, as a matter of fact, every other faculty wants me, too.

Even Harvard.

It wouldn't really matter to me where I'm setting up my white board to work my wonders. The only difference is that I would be free to solely focus on research at Caltech, whereas I have to fulfill a certain quota of teaching hours at Harvard accessorily. You know how much I despise speaking in front of a class full of disrespectful undergrads who think they know better just because they happen to be older than their professor. But I've been through that already in Heidelberg, so I have no doubt of succeeding again with Harvard students. Plus, this time I'll have you there to help me with my public speaking issues.

In case you're still confused about my intentions, let me be clear:

I've taken a job at Harvard to be near you again. It's already settled, so don't try and deviate me from my plan. I'm certain that Caltech will still employ me whenever I decide to join them. Right now, I'm missing my best friend and I'm very excited to meet you again.

Sincerely yours, Sheldon."

The first thing Amy did after reading the letter a second, a third and even a fourth time to make absolutely sure she wasn't dreaming, was to scramble up from the bed, almost tumbling down in the process and then clumsily trip over her own feet in her haste to reach the telephone.

The number she dialed was the one of her bestie.

"Missy! Hi…" she panted excitedly. "It's me… Amy."

"Hey, Amy, good to hear from you." Missy greeted her cheerfully. "Are you alright? You sound like you got chased by an angry cow."

"No, I just… I received a letter from Sheldon… just now and he… he…" Amy gulped again, trying to process what she was about to say. "He said he declined Caltech's job offer in favor of a job here at Harvard to be… to be near me."

"Awww!" Missy squealed gleefully into Amy's ear. "Who knew my brother could be so romantic. That's so exciting; the Shamy is back together again."

Amy chuckled about Missy's euphoria which almost seemed to outmatch her own. "I fail to see how this is supposed to be 'romantic' and I repeatedly told you that neither of us enjoy the amalgamation of our names, but I share your excitement, bestie."

"Amal-what?" repeated Missy, but quickly talked on to avoid the even more complex explanation that was already sitting on the tip of Amy's tongue. "You know what, never mind. I'm still rooting for you two even though you're both too blind to see what's right in front of you."

Now it was Amy's turn to be confused. "Too blind to see what?"

"My point exactly." Missy said.

"If you're implying any kind of romantic pair bonding then you're wrong." Amy said. "You know, Sheldon and I are just very good friends. We're different from most of the teenage population out there… I think." Amy murmured towards the end, her mind replying her unusual bout of unruly clumsiness and excitement over the prospect of seeing Sheldon again. She decided it must have been a normal reaction since she hasn't seen him for four years. It's allowed to be overly excited about that, right?

"Yeah, yeah, you'll get there when you see him." Missy deadpanned. "I'm just glad that I don't have to keep anything from you anymore."

"You mean you knew about Sheldon's change of plans?"

"He told Mom a week ago, but he made us promise not to tell you." Missy explained. "He wanted to surprise you. Isn't that sweet?"

Amy scrunched up her brows. "More like unusual for him. Doesn't Sheldon hate surprises, regardless if he is the one who gets surprised or not?"

"But he's doing it anyway. That's what makes it sweet."

Amy shook her head, although Missy couldn't see it. "I don't follow."

Missy laughed. "Sheldon couldn't, either. You two are made for each other."

Chapter Text

Nervously, Amy walked over to the table on which all the arriving flights were displayed. Sheldon's flight was scheduled to land half an hour ago, but obviously there had been a delay, pushing his actual time of arrival thirty minutes back.

Now he still needs to get out of the plane and collect his luggage, which naturally takes time, Amy reasoned logically in an attempt to calm herself. Stop fretting about it; he will be here soon.

Immediately after Amy got back from her call with Missy, she wrote to Sheldon, asking about all the specifics of his move back to the States. When he will arrive, where he would live and when exactly he would start working. She also immediately offered to pick him up from the airport to which Sheldon gladly agreed.

The display changed from 'landed' to 'baggage claim', causing Amy's heart to speed up. He's on his way! Impatiently, she moved forward to get a good look at the sliding doors through which all the arriving travelers went.

Amy thought back to the plea she made to Missy before she hung up their call. Namely, that her mom, Karen, mustn't know anything about Sheldon moving to Boston. It wouldn't surprise Amy if her mother would jump onto a plane herself to get Amy out of Sheldon's reach again. She could practically hear her complains about the inappropriateness of it all.

Amy snorted. What could her mother be thinking that they were doing here anyway? Amy was looking forward to work and study alongside Sheldon, not to do anything… inappropriate. Whatever that may be. So, to avoid more fights and troubles with her mom, Amy decided to keep Sheldon a secret.

The sliding doors opened. Amy's eyes widened and she began standing on her tiptoes. Other people, waiting for their friends or family members were closing in on her, blocking her view. Grumbling under her breath, Amy cursed her shortness and craned her neck to see. She was sure she would recognize him. Amy didn't take Sheldon for someone who would drastically change his appearance.

It still came as a shock to her when, suddenly, the crowd before the doors thinned and in the path, halfway towards where she was standing, a tall, lanky figure was emerging seemingly out of thin air.

He didn't move yet, but the smile on his face told her that he had spotted her long before she realized he was there.

Amy sucked in a startled breath, staring for a few seconds… then, finally, a grin spread upon her face and she ran forward.

It took him only three long strides and he was there, releasing his grip on his suitcase to wrap his arms around her without hesitation. She did the same.

"Sheldon." she whispered against his chest where her face was buried.

"Amy." he answered from above her, breathing against her hair as he was speaking.

She was never hugged by anyone like that. Obviously, not by her mother, but her father's hugs never felt that intimate, either. Sheldon enveloped her tightly and securely. She could feel his heart beating beneath her ear as she was holding on to him by wrapping her arms around his midsection.

Amy had no idea how long they stood there like that, but the parting came way too abrupt to her.

Sheldon suddenly held her at arms-length away, studying her face while blushing adorably. "Sorry… I-I should have asked first if you're comfortable with this extreme form of affection."

"N-No, it's fine. It was very comfortable… I mean…uhm, nice." she stuttered, feeling herself furiously blushing, too. They smiled at each other and Amy noticed how far up she had to crane her neck. Boy, did he grow. "I'm just so glad to finally see you again." she said.

"Me, too." Sheldon answered immediately. They continued to silently observe the other, smiling shyly and looking away whenever their eyes met. "Excuse me for staring," Sheldon said eventually. "I'm just marveling at all your physical changes."

"My changes?" Amy repeated, blushing again. "I hardly changed anything about myself. Same old clothes, same old style."

"Not quite." noticed Sheldon. "Your hair is longer by about… five inches, I would assume, and you're not wearing your hairband but a rather nice-looking barrette. Your glasses are no longer black-rimmed, but red now and I think you're also at least two inches taller. Oh, and you're actually wearing even more clothes now than in Texas."

Amy's jaw dropped, flattered by Sheldon's perceptiveness. "Uhm, yeah… I-I do. It's getting really cold up here and you know how I'm always freezing."

"Yes, I suppose, that hasn't changed then." Sheldon smiled.

Much to her surprise, Amy's heart skipped a beat at his smile and she quickly talked on to play down her perplexity. "A-And look at you." She motioned up and down, marveling again how tall he was. Sheldon did grow fairly quick as a pre-teen, but now he was towering above her by at least two heads. "You're a giant." she chuckled good-naturedly.

"I can see how you get that impression, but I'm only 6'2'', which is above average for most of the American male population, but not gigantic." Sheldon explained, yet smiling proudly.

"And what happened to your mature button-down shirts you wore as a kid?" Amy wondered, grinning at the now a little childish-looking, two-layered, black Superman t-shirt combination.

Sheldon looked down at himself. "Oh, that…" he said a little surprised, proving to Amy that he seemingly abandoned the dress shirts a long time ago. "Well, I came across a well-stocked, little comic book store in Heidelberg not far from the university. They were not only selling comic books, but also merchandise and t-shirts. It reminded me of my friend Tam and of being at home, sitting on my bed, reading comic books. So, somehow… I primarily started to wear superhero shirts, because I felt comfortable in them." Sheldon blushed again and looked to the ground. "Does it make me look stupid?"

Amy smiled genuinely. "No… I like it." she said, brushing an imaginary piece of lint from his sleeve. "I think it suits you."

The proud grin forming on Sheldon's lips seemed to make him grow a few extra inches. "Well…" he said. "To that I say, 'Vielen Dank fur das Kompliment.'"

A little perplexed, Amy scrunched up her brows. "What?"

"That's German and means 'Thanks for the compliment.'"

Amy tilted her head. "I know, but I think it's pronounced 'für', with an umlaut."

Provokingly, Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "Who of us just spent four years in Germany?"

Amy giggled. "You did. But I'm pretty sure that I'm right anyway."

"I think you must be mistaken." Sheldon lectured stubbornly.

She giggled some more. "Alright, Dr. Cooper, if you say so. Should we head for the university now?"

"Fine by me." Sheldon said.

"Great." Amy beamed excitedly. "I'm going to give you a tour around campus. Follow me to my car." she said, naturally taking his hand without giving it much thought and leading him through the arrival hall.

Sheldon didn't try to remove his hand from her, but his voice still sounded a little strangled as he repeated, "Your car? You… drive?"

"Of course. I took my driver's license here in Boston and even got a good deal for an old, beat-up Ford. It's not great, but it's mine and it gets me around town. Didn't you learn how to drive?" she asked, looking back to him while pulling him along.

"Me? N-No." Sheldon answered indignantly, but with a slight shiver in his voice. "I… uhm, I'm way too evolved for driving. I prefer getting chauffeured around."

Amy laughed. "I see. I bet you're just worrying too much again."

"Your 'check engine' light is on." Sheldon noticed upon entering her little car.

"I know. It worries me, too." said Amy, shifting the gear to drive and heading out of the parking space. "But right now, I just can't afford to get a repair. I'm even desperate enough to send prayers to your mom's god, begging that the car will hold out as long as I need it."

"Well, that's unacceptable. It's not safe for you." Sheldon complained.

"I walk as much as I can and only use the car when I absolutely need to. What else can I do?" Amy shrugged, making a right turn to head for the freeway.

Sheldon seemed to think for a moment. "I could help you out… financially, I mean."

"What?" Amy quickly looked over to him to see if he was being serious. "No, I couldn't ask that of you."

"You're not asking. I'm offering." Sheldon corrected. "And I vehemently insist that you take my offer if you ever want me to set foot in your car again. We can get it repaired as soon as I get my first paycheck."

"But—" Amy tried to protest.

"I insist." Sheldon repeated firmly. "In exchange you could agree to drive me around from time to time. What do you say? Do we have a deal?"

Amy threw him a quick sideway glance. "Okay, deal." Smiling, she added, "Thank you, Sheldon."

"Of course."

After a small pause, their chatter flowed on naturally and easy, as if they were never separated at all. Amy asked Sheldon about his flight, which, according to him, was dreadfully long, but tolerable because of the sole fact that he knew she would be waiting for him at the end.

Amy swerved the car a bit upon this admission, causing Sheldon to grab the handle bar in shock.

"Good lord, woman!"

"Sorry, I'm… I-I swear, I'm usually a better driver than this." Amy pledged.

"I should hope so." Sheldon remarked, settling down again. "At least the adrenaline rush fueled a few more hours of energy for me. I'm already looking forward to your campus tour but wasn't sure if I'd really be up for it after the flight."

"Oh, of course." Amy nodded in understanding but couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. "You probably rather want to rest. We can do the tour another day."

"Nonsense." Sheldon argued. "I already said I want to do it. We haven't seen each other in four years. You're not getting rid of me that easily again."

Another glance to her right showed Amy that Sheldon was grinning boyishly at her. She blushed and grinned back. "What is that? Do I detect a hint of irony in your speech?"

Sheldon puffed his chest. "I'm a man with two doctorates now. I've picked up quite a few things."

Sheldon left his luggage at his private dorm room and was ready for his trip around Harvard after he freshened up a bit. His room was located in a special block for the university's teachers and was much bigger than a regular student dorm; it was more like a small flat, Amy realized after sneaking a peek through the crack of the door.

They started walking side by side, their hands swinging loosely and coincidently brushing against each other, while Amy proudly showed Sheldon the imposing, old buildings and different faculties of the school. She pointed out to him where all the biggest, most important lecturing halls were and where the physics department had their offices, so he would know his way around when he began working.

She also showed him her favorite place – the grand library – and they strolled through spacious paths of green parks, connecting the different houses. Amy's dorm room and the labs associated to the neurobiology department were located under the medical branch of the faculty. Zealously, Amy explained that she was handpicked by her professor to assist him in an addiction study with capuchin monkeys.

Both laughed, as they remembered how fond Amy had always been of the lovable, little creatures.

Much too soon for her, Amy led Sheldon back to their starting point. "And that's your place again." She caught him stifling a yawn. "And right on time, I see."

"Sorry." Sheldon said. "You didn't bore me. I loved the tour, but I guess the jet lag is getting to me at last and I have yet to call my mom and tell her I've landed safely." Sheldon cringed noticeably. "She will be mad that I haven't called her immediately."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Amy scolded. "I could have shown you where the call booths are."

"It's not a problem." Sheldon assured her. "It didn't occur to me earlier." And then with a gaze directed at her that seemed almost dreamily, he added, "I… I must have had… other things on my mind."

For the umpteenth time, Amy felt her cheeks warming up. "Well… I-I guess I let you sleep now."

"That would be good." agreed Sheldon, nervously clenching and unclenching his fists while looking at the ground between them. "But I still have the weekend to get accustomed to my new surroundings. So… i-if you don't mind… maybe you could show me the city tomorrow?"

Amused, Amy noticed that apparently she wasn't the only one after all who was affected by their reunion. "I'd love to." she said.

"Good." Sheldon smiled.

They kept staring at each other, blushing and shifting about, neither of them knowing what would be the appropriate way of saying goodbye after reconnecting with an old childhood friend.

"See you then." Amy said, timidly lifting her arms just as Sheldon wanted to extend his hand. "Oh… sorry, I thought—"

"No, it's okay." Sheldon smiled somewhat relieved and carefully lifted his own arms.

They slowly moved towards each other. Sheldon didn't take long to figure out where his arms needed to go from when they hugged earlier and enveloped her again in his, suddenly much bigger, more manly than boyish, embrace.

Amy immediately learnt to love the feeling of being held so securely and leaned her head against the Superman emblem on his chest… when, suddenly, a voice startled them.

"The young Dr. Cooper, I assume?" The voice spoke with confident authority, causing Sheldon and Amy to spring apart. "I see you're already getting acquainted with our students."

"Uhm… I-I'm…" stuttered Sheldon, his ears turning red as if he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. And Amy was no better.

A greying, lean man with glasses had interrupted them and was now observantly folding his hands behind his back before introducing himself. "My name is Professor Charles Kingsley. I'm the president of this university."

Sheldon's demeanor changed immediately. He shook himself, stood straighter and politely extended his hand. "Of course, Professor Kingsley. I've heard so much about you."

"And I about you." The older man shook his hand, but the suspicious look didn't leave his face. "So, you're the wunderkind who managed to revolutionize the way we think about string theory?"

"That I am, Sir." Sheldon confirmed with his head held high. The professor lifted a single brow when Sheldon absently produced a small bottle of Purell from his pocket and rubbed a few drops into his hands. "Oh, I… I'm only doing that for precautious reasons. It has nothing to do with you personally, Sir."

"You didn't seem to mind with her." Kingsley nodded at Amy, who would give just about anything right now to be swallowed by the floor. "Miss Fowler, am I right?" he asked.

"Yes, Professor." Amy nodded shyly.

"That's different." Sheldon explained. "I know A—, I mean, Miss Fowler from my hometown in Texas. We practically grew up together."

"So, you're old friends then?"

"Yes." Both, Sheldon and Amy, confirmed simultaneously. "Just friends." Amy added boldly.

Sheldon nodded in agreement and made a point of not looking at her or even standing closer to her than necessary.

President Kingsley watched them intently. After an uncomfortable pause, he said, "Well then, I'm looking forward to getting impressed by the work you will do for us, Dr. Cooper."

"I won't disappoint, Sir." Sheldon stated.

The threesome stood there rooted for another moment until Kingsley cleared his throat. "I believe you should take the chance to rest for the weekend, Dr. Cooper. I'm expecting you in my office at 8 a.m. sharp on Monday. Then you will receive your teaching schedules and your personal office key."

"I will be there on time. Good day, Sir… and Miss Fowler." Sheldon politely nodded at each of them before retreating backwards into his room.

"Bye, Dr. Cooper." Amy whispered, smiling timidly at him.

He dared to quickly smile back and then closed the door.

Amy was still smirking as she turned away and almost flinched when her gaze met the unwavering one of the president.

"I don't think you have any business to still be here in the teacher's sector, do you, Miss Fowler?"

"N-No, I don't." Amy answered intimidated and turned to hurry back to her room across campus. On the way, she couldn't shake the feeling away that someone just dropped another large stone in their way.

Chapter Text

Despite the president frowning upon their friendship, Amy and Sheldon met up anyway during the weekend to explore the city. It wasn't like President Kingsley would follow them in their spare time.

He also couldn't per se forbid Amy to voluntarily pick up physics as a minor field of study. Sheldon's class was mainly reserved for undergrad physics students, but since the classes hardly met their limits of capacity it was usually free for other students or teachers to sit in.

It was what Amy was doing just now. Perched on the edge of her seat in a big, oval lecturing hall, she supported her head with her hand under her chin, listening intently to the steady, calm tone of Sheldon's voice as he was describing the different kinds of subatomic particles in the standard model.

Most of his complicated equations that he wrote on the large, green board behind him went over her head, but Amy was fascinated by his explanations and was able to follow his words better than his math.

Sheldon wasn't always this calm and confident in front of the class, though.

In the beginning, he was very nervous and hid his insecurity by going way too deep into the matter of his curriculum, throwing his big words around like weapons and never stopping for the desperate, at times quite irritated, questions of his students.

President Kingsley had a very stern word with him about his attitude in class, but Sheldon insisted that it wasn't his fault that those dim pupils couldn't keep up with him. Only when Amy explained to him that the students were looking up to him, trying to learn and understand him and that it was his job to help them succeed, Sheldon gave in.

Since then, Amy and Sheldon spent many weekends alone in different, unoccupied lecturing halls, making dry runs of Sheldon's speeches with Amy pointing out to him how he should present himself.

As it turned out, an aspiring neuroscientist with insight of the human brain and a genius particle physicist who's too far ahead for his peers, make an excellent team. But, of course, they knew that from the start.

After initial troubles and disagreements, they ended up having lots of fun with the practice runs and it showed in Sheldon's classes. Amy smiled as she thought back to the last months of adjusting and learning and felt a swell of pride within her as she listened to Sheldon now. Sometimes, he would catch her glance and he smiled back. Just faintly, so no one would notice.

As Amy took a look around in the auditorium, she noticed that she wasn't the only one who benefitted from Sheldon's change of attitude in class. The students were interested and concentrated and they asked intelligent questions, which Sheldon answered patiently. Although, he sometimes tended to burst into long, elaborated speeches that left the inquirer blinking slowly and confused, like a toddler who can't figure out how the funny uncle got his nose.

Amy found that highly amusing. It also caused the weirdest reactions to her stomach; it swirled and tickled pleasantly.

However, during today's class, Amy realized for the first time that she also wasn't the only admirer of Sheldon's intellect… the only female admirer to be exact.

There were two girls in the front row who especially stood out to Amy because of the obvious ways they were trying to get their teacher's attention. One of them, a typical blonde beauty that seemed to be wrong in a science class anyway, just blatantly stared at him with dreamily batting eyelashes. The other one, a girl with dark, curly hair, frantically scribbled down every syllable that came from Sheldon's lips only pausing to openly sigh in adoration.

Amy narrowed her eyes at them. What are they trying to do? Eat him alive like a female praying mantis? Can't they see that Sheldon isn't at all interested in their antics?

"That would be all for today, students." Sheldon declared at that moment. "I advise you to brush up your knowledge about Einstein's summation convention if you want to find out more about the interactions of particles in the standard model. Good day."

Chairs rattled and lively chatter swelled as the students were getting up and filtering out of the hall. A few of them briefly stopped at Sheldon's desk, asked some questions and then went on. But the two girls that Amy had noticed before, still lingered. Quietly, Amy sidled closer to the front, listening in on what they were saying to her best friend.

"Oh, Dr. Cooper, it's so impressive that you're so well versed in practically every matter of physics when you're barely older than we are." Blondie said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, totally." Curly added. "I mean when did you learn all about subatomic particles and quantum mechanics and all that stuff?"

"Well…" Sheldon shrugged, putting his paperwork together instead of looking at his fans. "Since quantum mechanics is an easy beginner's topic when diving into the more complex world of M-theory, I think I started at the same age as other people usually start to summate. So, I believe I was about seven."

"Ohh!" The girls squealed and giggled. "How cute."

Amy definitely saw how Sheldon rolled his eyes in exasperation, but it went unnoticed by the girls. Amy grimaced as she recognized how they were posing in front of him. Curly pressed her books against her chest, so that… certain parts of her anatomy sprang to attention, while Blondie just unnervingly played with her long, golden hair.

"I fail to see what makes you so excited and there's most definitely nothing cute about it, either." Sheldon stressed drily. "It was hard to be the only boy in first grade who even knew what physics is."

"Aww…" the girls pouted now. "We bet it was."

Amy's stomach turned upon this sickly sweet false interest. "Excuse me..." All eyes swiveled to her and to her own shock, Amy realized that it was really her who just dared to intervene. "Uh..." Amy's bravery faltered a bit with all the attention she suddenly had. "I-I don't think it is appropriate to talk to your professor like that. In fact, I reckon it's actually quite disrespectful to belittle his pre-adolescent, scientific development."

The two girls lifted their perfectly manicured eyebrows and looked up and down at Amy. She really tried very hard not to cower upon their contemptuous glare.

"Who exactly asked you of your opinion?" Blondie said dismissively.

"Mind your own business." Curly added. "You're not even a physics student, so you probably don't even know what we're talking about." she snorted.

"Ms. Carlyle, Ms. Green…" Sheldon addressed the two girls imperiously. "I can assure you that Ms. Fowler very well knows her way around physics and, moreover, I have to agree with her. I'm your professor and deserve your respect. So, since you don't seem to have any questions regarding the topic of this class, I politely ask you to leave."

Curly frowned. "Why don't you make her leave? She's always hanging behind." To Amy she said, "Waiting for a private lesson, aren't you?"

"Ms. Fowler is leaving, too." Sheldon said, distinctly putting his notes into his bag and motioning for the door.

Blondie crossed her arms and threw Amy a deadly glance while she turned away. "What are you even doing here?" she muttered under her breath, only intended for Amy to hear. "Trying to sleep your way through class?"

Sheldon's desk trembled as his bag dropped onto it with a resounding bang. He came out from behind the lectern, using his full, impressive height to darkly glower down on the blonde girl who cowardly flinched back. "Ms. Carlyle, I forbid you to make such assumptions about your fellow student! You should heed your friend's advice and mind your own business!" he growled in anger. "There's a test coming up on Friday, maybe you should rather focus on that." Sheldon extended a trembling finger towards the door. "Now leave! Both of you. And apologize to Ms. Fowler on your way out."

Intimidated, the girls sank their heads under Sheldon's suddenly stormy, blue gaze. Each of them pressed out a barely audible 'sorry' in Amy's general direction while still narrowing their eyes spitefully.

Then they left.

Amy released a breath she never realized she was holding. Despite knowing Sheldon for the better part of eight years now, she had never seen him so angry. He didn't avert his eyes from the two girls' retreating figures until they disappeared behind the door. Then he took a deep breath, took his bag again and started leaving the auditorium, too.

Amy blinked her perplexity away and hurried after him. Sheepishly, she looked around if anyone was watching them in the hallways. Although she found there was no one, she still took care that she wasn't walking too close to Sheldon, but also not too far away from him to be overheard by others.

"Thanks for defending me." she said.

"You're welcome." Sheldon replied curtly without looking at her. "I can't believe the nerve of some people." he hissed and shook his head. "Making profane assumptions like that in front of me. I should report her to Kingsley."

"Don't bother." said Amy. "He probably has his own theories about us and everyone obviously knows about the unexpressed taboo of romantic teacher-student alliances."

"What are you talking about?!"  Sheldon's voice rose to a nervous high pitch, before his eyes darted around and he fell into a whisper again. "We are friends, nothing more."

Amy swallowed, feeling oddly disappointed. "I-I know. But… they don't. And I already heard some rumors spread about us being seen together so often."

"Well, that's their problem, not ours." Sheldon stated stubbornly. "I don't care what they think about us."

Amy smiled, which calmed Sheldon's fierce, blue eyes a bit. "That's nice of you to say." She paused briefly. "I still believe I shouldn't sit in on your classes anymore."

"What?" Sheldon stopped walking. Now it was him who looked disappointed and he wasn't able to hide it. "Because of those two clucking hens?"

"No… not exclusively." Amy explained. "I just think it's better that we're not seen when you're on duty, so to speak. We always meet after your classes anyway, plus, you don't need me for your performance anymore." She smiled. "You'll do great without me there, too."

Sheldon timidly shook his head, looking towards the ground. "Not true." he said and suddenly he resembled a little boy again. "I still get nervous, but I'm able to calm down with your help. Whenever I feel overwhelmed in class, I… I'm just looking for your face a-and when you smile at me… all nervousness just evaporates."

Amy's muscles went slack in an instant, causing her books to slip out of her grasp and fall to the ground.

"Oh, dear." Sheldon exclaimed, already bending down to help her collect her stuff.

"No, no." Amy hissed, heart still beating wildly. "Get up. We draw enough attention to us as it is." She quickly bent down herself to pick up her books, straightened and looked flustered into Sheldon's confused face. She took a deep breath to calm herself before she addressed him. "Sheldon, I'm confident that you don't need me to be a good teacher. I will gladly listen whenever you want to run your lectures by me first, but I need to focus on my major subjects, too. So, after this semester… I'm signing out of your class."

A variety of emotions flitted over Sheldon's face, too fast for Amy to recognize them all. He seemed sad, slightly hurt, but above all very nervous. Amy smiled at him again, calm and genuine. She would've taken his hand if there weren't so many onlookers on the corridors. "You can do this." she said to him.

Sheldon swallowed and straightened up. "If you say so." He gripped his bag a little tighter and nodded demonstratively casual. "Excuse me, Amy, I need to make a phone call now."

"Okay." she said. "See you later then."

He nodded again and left Amy standing there by herself.

Her heart was still in a flurry and the whirlwind of emotions spiraling within her after Sheldon had said those things about her, hadn't calmed down yet:

When I smile at him his nervousness evaporates? Huh, it's exactly the other way 'round when he smiles at me... I could really use a phone call with a certain person now, too.

"Hi, Ames. Has the penny dropped yet?"

Amy scrunched up her face in confusion. "What do you mean by that, Missy?"

"Soo… it hasn't." Missy giggled on the other end of the line.

Amy narrowed her eyes, although it was to no avail obviously, because Missy was on the phone several states away from her. "What penny? Are you using your urban slang again that I don't understand?"

"Never mind. Tell me what happened?" Missy demanded.

Amy cocked her head. "How do you know that something happened?"

"Because my social senses are that good. Now spill."

Still wondering, Amy shrugged her shoulders and proceeded to tell Missy about the mean girls in the physics class and how Sheldon handled the whole situation. She also told her about the arrhythmia of her heart and the apparent disappointment on Sheldon's face when she decided not to visit his classes anymore.

"And you still have no clue what's wrong with you?" Missy asked after Amy ended her narration. "Boy, I know that Sheldon is incredibly stubborn, but I thought you would be smarter than that."

"For god's sake," Amy suddenly yelled into the telephone, her patience finally wearing thin. "I'm desperate here. Stop gloating, bestie, and tell me what you know!"

"Geez, okay… no reason to yell." Missy surrendered before she meaningfully cleared her throat. "So, first of all… do you remember when you were like thirteen and Sheldon had that smarty-pants girl, Paige, over?"

Amy sat up straighter on her bed from where she was calling. "Yes." she said slowly, not liking at all where this was heading.

"Remember what I told you what your problem was?"

Amy did remember. Missy had pressured her back then to tell Sheldon, but she knew he wasn't ready to hear it. She wasn't ready, either. And yet it was so obvious. No wonder Missy laughed at her stubbornness. "That I…" Amy eventually answered shyly. "That I had been… jealous of her."

"Exactly." Missy replied. "And you know why? Because you're really… and I mean, really, smitten with my brother. Stop lying to yourself; it's a fact."

Missy's voice was suddenly very calm and serious. Usually not two adjectives that would ever go with Sheldon's bubbly twin. It surprised Amy; apparently her friend was genuinely rooting for her and Sheldon… whatever that means exactly. "B-But I… I can't… tell him that." Amy mumbled shyly. "I can't make a move. He's a teacher and I'm a student and-and… we have always been friends. Just friends. Sheldon had been very specific about that just recently." she sighed, chewing nervously on her lower lip. "What if… m-my feelings will ruin everything?"

"Okay, listen to me, girl…" Missy's tone of voice changed again and, all of a sudden, she sounded very convincingly like a stern Mary Cooper, lecturing her kids. "I know it's scary to go from friends to… more than friends, but I tell you, you have to take that risk. You'll only be even more miserable if you don't try. Don't be scared, I know for a fact that Sheldon is very fond of you, too."

That made Amy drop the phone for a second. Oh, man, I really have to get back control over my body. "W-What?" she stuttered, once she pressed the phone to her ear again.

There was short pause… then a curse. "Dammit, Sheldon will kill me."

"What a-are you saying, Missy?" Amy repeated unrelentingly. "Did you talk to Sheldon about this, too? Did he say that he…" Her heart fluttered in her chest. "That he likes me, too?"

She heard Missy taking a deep sigh on the other end of the line. "Ugh, what the hell. I'm dead anyway. Yes… yes, he called me just before you did and he made me swear on my life that I wouldn't tell you. He's nervous about the same things you are."

Now Amy's heart was rushing in her ears. Her throat closed up and she struggled to take deep breaths. He likes me. Sheldon likes me! We could be… we could be a couple. A real boyfriend/girlfriend couple like all the other teenagers. Would he want that? Could we really be like that? Would he enjoy a real first kiss on the lips?

"Amy? Amy… helloo? Earth to Amy, are you still there?"

Through the fog of her excited thoughts, Missy's voice faintly reached her ear. "Missy? Thanks for your insight on this topic. I promise I won't tell Sheldon that you told me, but I… I have to hang up now. Sorry. I… I need to figure out what to do."

She actually heard Missy's grin through the phone. "Sure. You go, girl. As long as you call me to give me all the updates. Seriously, I have to know." she stressed.

"I will. Bye, Missy." Amy said and swiftly hung up. She kept staring at her phone in shock, torn between giddy excitement and paralyzing dread. Oh my, what should I do now?

It took Amy another week to make peace with all the facts she knew now. She trained it in front of her mirror so she wouldn't freak out whenever she admitted it to herself:

I, Amy Farrah Fowler, fell for my dearest childhood friend, Sheldon Lee Cooper.

The metaphorical butterflies in her stomach were fluttering wildly whenever she thought about it. Amy began to love that feeling; it made her feel good and incredibly happy.

However, she still had no idea how to broach this subject to Sheldon. At least she knew now that it was the truth. It would explain everything. It would also explain Sheldon's reactions to her. She could only hope that he actually felt the same way about her, too.

Since Amy deemed it best if she concluded her minor subject in Sheldon's class for this semester, she was forced to witness the two eager, female students flirt with him again. Oh yes, she did call it flirting… because now she knew what's what.

Although Sheldon regularly brushed the girls off without so much as acknowledging their presence, it had been those moments of jealousy that finally pushed Amy to raise the whole uncomfortable relationship topic to him.

"So, Sheldon… what do you think about those girls in your class?"

Sheldon choked violently on his tea. Granted, her approach was painfully blunt as always, but Amy found that this brought her the quickest results.

They were sitting in a nice and tiny café, ironically only drinking tea there, outside of the immediate area of the university so they weren't seen together, working on their respective studies, when Amy dropped the bombshell.

Sheldon put the teacup back on the table and took his time to dab his chin with a napkin. "W-What?" he whisper-breathed then.

"Your female students." Amy clarified. "Despite you reprimanding them, they still seem to admire you greatly. And they're not the only ones… just the most… obvious ones."

Sheldon nervously glanced around in the almost empty coffee shop, his eyes bouncing to various immovable objects before they hesitantly focused on her again. "Uhm… is this still about those offensive things they said? B-Because I may have… asked my sister's advice and she said that you're… probably… m-maybe jealous o-of them."

Amy fought not to give her conversation with Missy away. "Really? Interesting theory." she said soberly and then paused. Sheldon looked at her carefully, almost fearful of how she would proceed. Was he holding his breath?  "So?" she asked.

Sheldon blinked. "So what?"

Amy shifted nervously, intertwined her hands in front of her and clenched them. "D-Do I need to be jealous of them?" Sheldon actually paled and his eyes widened almost comically. "I mean, generally speaking, they're certainly viewed as attractive by males and y-you are a male and even if you're their teacher, you're about the same age as them, they're probably even older and-and… I…" Amy's rapid blubbering began to stutter. "I just wondered if that makes you feel… something."

She stopped. Now she was holding her breath. Sheldon's features were frozen, but she could tell that he had to fight very hard not to twitch.

"Even if it would…" he said warily. "Why would you care about that?"

Amy's mouth dropped open in shock. She hadn't reckoned that he would turn the tables on her so quickly. Damn him and his genius brain, she cursed inwardly. "Uhm… uhm…" Amy stuttered while blushing furiously. "I… was just curious… about the… the concept of romance that we… s-seem to miss out on. I thought—"

"Amy, you know that I don't care for any of those girls." Sheldon suddenly interrupted her. "Pair-bonding simply does not interest me at all."

It was like he was taking her breath away… but in a bad way. "Oh…" Amy whispered. "I mean… I-I knew that, of course." She swallowed, because, inexplicably, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. "I-I'm sorry… it was a stupid question."

She looked down on the table, concentrating on the words she'd written down for her essay. But the words were swimming in front of her eyes, no matter how much she was blinking. Keep it together. Please, keep it together.

"But Amy…"

His voice spoke up again, frail and shy and not more than slightly above a whisper. Amy didn't dare to look up.

"Y-You are really… very special to me." She could hear him wet his dry lips. "I'm not sure, yet, why… but… I know that you're my only friend and my best friend and I… I don't want to lose you again. So, no…"

At that he extended his hand across the table to cover her trembling fists. Abruptly, Amy looked up. His gaze was much steadier than his voice.

"You don't have to be jealous." Sheldon said.

Chapter Text

The little coffee shop became their favorite spot in town.

Whenever Amy and Sheldon wanted to meet in private without anyone giving them funny looks then they would go there.

Since the last time, Amy hadn't brought up the topic of them becoming more than friends. She was reassured enough by Sheldon's admission that she was special to him and she knew that it was a difficult and probably frightening subject.

It was to her at least.

So, she kept quiet for months, just happy and content to be in Sheldon's presence again after such long years of solitude in Boston. Finally, she could watch him work, watch him devise incredible, brilliant ideas that made her respect for him grow every day. If he went on like this, the desired Nobel Prize wouldn't be that far away from him anymore.

Sheldon seemed to be comfortable, too. Sometimes he sneaked into the neurobiology lab when he knew she would be there alone and then he would watch her work. He told her that even though he still regarded biology as a squishy and frankly also very yucky science, it helped him to shift his focus on something else entirely when he's stuck with his equations.

The only person who seemed to go mad over the lack of progress in their relationship was Missy. She couldn't understand how two people, who clearly fell for one another, managed to be together all day without being all over each other. Those were her exact words.

But, as a matter of fact, Amy's resolve was indeed slowly breaking.

Sheldon held the door for her when they entered aforementioned coffee shop. He was very excited about an equation he just solved. Clutching his notebook tightly to his chest like a precious gold treasure, he followed Amy, blubbering the whole way to the counter, while Amy made their usual orders, while they were paying and, eventually, as they were sitting down in their usual spots.

"This breakthrough will surely earn me a prize of some kind." Sheldon just said. "Or…" he emphasized with an upheld finger. "At the very least, a cover story in a big science magazine. I'm thinking… 'Physics Today' or 'Science'."

As he listed different important journals, Amy just smirked while sipping from her tea. She knew it was no use to interrupt him when he was this excited. He wouldn't be able to listen to anything she was saying anyway.

Eventually, Sheldon began showing her his findings in his textbook. He browsed back a few pages, pointing at some numbers and figures. "You see that? This is the thought I originally started with. I was beginning to think it would get me nowhere, but when we talked through that lecture for the class the other day and you asked all those intelligent, brilliant questions that my below average group of students never cared to ask, it made me realize that I was looking at it the wrong way."

Amy grinned proudly. She was leaning over Sheldon's notes, too, trying to follow where he was pointing and how those facts and figures were relating to his theory. "I'm glad I could be of assistance." Amy beamed. "I tell you, I wasn't even entirely sure what I was talking about."

"Oh, don't sell yourself short, Amy." Sheldon argued and nudged her shoulder a bit with his. "It seems like you knew exactly what you were talking about. I just wish I could return the favor, but you know that watching you dissect small animals or cut open brains makes me feel queasy."

Amy chuckled. He was right; he could barely watch her do that. Whereas, she was extremely excited that her professor finally allowed her to get her hands on actual human brains. Dead brains, obviously, but still. "And nonetheless, you are there with me even if you're getting a little green in the face every time I pick up a scalpel." Amy grinningly said to Sheldon. "By the way, I think you shouldn't be too hard on your students."

Sheldon rolled his eyes dismissively.

"Hey, I'm serious." Amy casually touched his wrist. "I'm flattered that you think I helped this much, but in the end, it was all you who came up with the math."

"Well, yeah…" Sheldon agreed, raising his head from his notes to look at her. "But you had been the spark that lit the flame."

Amy looked up, too, suddenly, very much aware of how close they were sitting. She blushed.

"You are a great source of inspiration to me, Amy Farrah Fowler." Sheldon added quietly.

He might as well could've whispered. Their faces were so close together that she would've been able to hear him. "Thanks." Amy uttered breathlessly.

Their eyes were locked from that moment on. Blue gazed into green and vice versa.

The busy sound of the coffee shop merged to a faint buzz of noise in the background, coming from far away. Amy felt her heart arrhythmia coming back strong and it brought a lot of questions with it that bombarded her mind.

Questions like what was she supposed to do now? Sheldon seemed as mesmerized by her closeness as she was by his. Does that mean he was ready now? For what exactly? How should she proceed?

Amy's breath grew short. Involuntarily, she must have leaned in a bit because, all of a sudden, she could actually feel Sheldon's warm puffs of air on her skin. A zing of excitement rushed through her at this pleasant sensation. Could this become her very first kiss?

Oh lord, did he just move in, too?

Amy blinked rapidly. His face was too close now to keep focusing on his eyes. So, she closed her eyes, puckering her lips in expectation of a feather-light touch…

That never came.

She opened her eyes again to see that Sheldon's were squeezed shut and retreating from her.

"A-Amy… I can't." he whispered softly.

She blinked a few times, trying to make sense of that sentence that seemed so utterly incomprehensible to her. "W-What?" she asked meekly. "Why? What did I do wrong?"

"It's not you… it's…" Sheldon finally dared to open his eyes. "I-It's me." he admitted ashamed, getting flustered. "I'm… I feel… overwhelmed. All of my senses are overstimulated by you."

"So, it is my fault?" Amy interpreted. Crushing pain and sadness dominated her mind.

"N-No." Sheldon objected, becoming slightly desperate to make her understand. "I feel like I'm… like I'm losing control. It's like… when dad died, and I needed to… get away from everything to be able to think clearly again."

Anger got back into the mix with Amy's swirl of emotions. "Well, that's a comparison that is really insensitive, Sheldon. Trying to kiss you makes you want to run away?!" She knew it wasn't fair to jump to conclusions like that, but Amy found that she, too, wasn't able to think logically anymore.

"No! I… Amy, I-I don't know what to say." Sheldon stuttered, clearly upset now. "Amy, please…" he reached out to put a hand on her arm when she moved to pull her chair back and stand up. "Please stay."

Amy struggled with herself. Seeing his anxious, despaired face made her hesitate for a second. Then she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Sheldon. I… I can't." she unintentionally repeated his words from moments ago. "This is just… too hurtful and confusing. I-I need some time to think."

Reluctantly, Sheldon let go of her arm. "I'm sorry." he pressed out, cheeks red with sadness.

"I know." Amy said. "Me, too."

Amy hid in her room for the rest of the week, preferring to study on her own rather than facing Sheldon or anyone else for that matter.

She was embarrassed that she had been crying as much as she did after she fled from the coffee shop. Part of her wondered what else she had been expecting from Sheldon. Of course, he didn't want her in a romantic way; for most of the time that she knew him, Amy was certain that she didn't need him like that, either.

So, where did this heavy, all-consuming sadness come from all of a sudden? Although she recently admitted to herself that she fell for Sheldon, she couldn't comprehend that this rejection could hurt her this much. They weren't even a couple; Sheldon shouldn't be able to affect her so much that she felt the urge to hide from the world and never interact with humans again?

Amy rubbed her eyes, trying to concentrate on the report she was supposed to write for her biology class. It was already late and there wasn't any light in her room except for the lamp on her desk. The submission date for the report was tomorrow morning, but she had been so distracted the whole week that she couldn't finish it, which forced her to work 'til way past her usual bedtime.

But even now she caught herself having stray thoughts. Oh, how she wished it wouldn't be this awkward between herself and Sheldon. Then she could have shown him her paper for proof-reading.

He's driving me mad, Amy reasoned in annoyance. That's why he always knew it wouldn't work out. Romance is a distraction!

She barely finished this thought when there was a timid, quiet triple-knock on her door followed by an even quieter call of her name.

"Amy."

She inhaled sharply. Sheldon?

It knocked again. Three times. "Amy."

Why would he be at my door at this time of night? What if someone sees him? She jumped up to answer hurriedly when it knocked again. Same pattern, followed by her name.

"Amy."

She paused for a moment, waiting if the knocking would be repeated, but it remained silent. Carefully, she closed her hand around the doorknob and turned, opening the door only so much that she could look through the crack. "Sheldon? What are you doing here?" she whispered urgently. "Someone could see you."

"I know." he whispered back. "Which is why I'm asking you to let me in. I… I need to talk to you… privately." he added in case she was still wondering.

Amy could practically hear her mother's stern voice in her head, loud and clear as a church bell. She was not supposed to do that: 'Under no circumstances you will let any boys into your room at night, do you hear me, Amy!'

But at the same moment, Amy already dismissed that voice. She wasn't a little girl anymore. She could make her own decisions.

"Fine." Amy answered, opening the door further and ushering Sheldon in. She quickly scanned the hallway behind him, but there was no one spying on them. They were safe. She closed the door, turning around to face him. "What do you want?"

Her tone must have sounded a bit harsher than she intended, because Sheldon instantly stopped looking around, stood straight and blinked at her a little startled.

"I, uhm… we…" Sheldon hemmed and hawed, hiding his hands behind his back and refusing to make eye contact. "We haven't resolved this… issue from last time we've seen each other and… it caused me a great deal of stress."

"Oh, you had been stressed?" Amy repeated sarcastically. "How do you think I felt?"

"I-I don't know." Sheldon mumbled insecurely, completely missing that she was asking a rhetorical question. "That's why I've been wanting to talk to you, but I couldn't find you anywhere." Sheldon paused to swallow. "I began to worry that you… left."

Amy's angry lines vanished instantly from her face and her tone was getting softer. "Sheldon… I wouldn't leave you." He continued to look at the ground without saying a word. "I wouldn't. I've told you this before and I still mean it." she repeated earnestly.

Slowly, he lifted his gaze. "But can you understand now? Why I was overwhelmed?" he added to clarify.

"Because you thought I would leave you?" Amy wondered.

Sheldon nodded slightly. "Because if it didn't work out… I wouldn't only lose you as… a partner. I would also lose you as a friend. I don't want that to happen."

Amy sighed, stepping closer to Sheldon, but in the last moment stopping herself from touching him. "You wouldn't lose me as a friend. We've always been friends, I… I wouldn't even know what to do without you as my intellectual equal. I wouldn't throw that away, no matter what happens."

"Where were you then this week?" Sheldon crossed his arms; not in anger but challenging, nonetheless.

Stubbornly, Amy mimicked his posture. "I was hurt. I admit that." she stressed. "But I'm actually glad that we talked now. Before that... I just needed some time to figure out how to go on from here."

"And have you come to a conclusion?" Sheldon immediately wanted to know.

A little lost, Amy stared into his vibrant, blue eyes; his intelligence clearly sparkled beneath them. And as she felt how she was drawn in by him again, everything else seemed to be unimportant all of a sudden. She couldn't resist the pull.

I have to give romance a try. No matter the costs. I have to try with him, because no one else makes me feel that way.

"Yes." Amy said firmly. "I think I have."

"Well?" Sheldon inquired curiously, but Amy shook her head.

"First, you need to figure out what you want." she said.

"What? But Amy—"

"I think you should go now." Without waiting for him to answer, she turned around to open the door for him.

Sheldon's mouth opened and closed a few times in puzzlement. Mechanically, he started leaving just as she asked him to. "Are you mad at me?" he questioned her before stepping outside.

Amy smiled softly. "No. I'm just waiting for you." She stepped closer, standing on her tiptoes to peck his cheek, much to his utter surprise. "Will I see you tomorrow after class?"

Sheldon nodded amusingly confused.

"Good." she smiled and quietly closed the door in his flabbergasted face.

Chapter Text

Amy couldn't quite believe it, but the new year actually came without much of a change regarding Sheldon's romantic intentions.

Even though she was relatively calm and patient in the beginning, waiting seemed to be something Amy couldn't possibly do any longer.

Ever since they almost kissed, her companionship with Sheldon came along with a distinct sensation of underlying tension. A hint of wanting something more but being too afraid to ask for it. A kind of bashfulness about enjoying each other's company, as if it could accidentally turn into something deeper without them realizing it.

They were much more aware of each other's presence, of their closeness and their involuntary reactions to one another which they couldn't hide. Things like blushing, stuttering like bumbling fools or sudden shortness of breath.

Amy couldn't be sure how Sheldon was handling the tension, but she definitely noticed that she herself was slowly but surely losing it when she was with him. If Sheldon wouldn't make up his mind soon then…

Well, what would happen then?

Amy wondered if she would be strong enough to turn away from him. Would she even want that? Could she? Remembering the days, months and years she was separated from him, when he was in Germany, instantly filled her with longing. No, she couldn't lose him again; their friendship was too precious to give up on it. She already told him this much.

But how could she cope if a romantic relationship isn't what Sheldon wants?

Soon there came a time that literally every college student was looking forward to. A time without studies, classes or nerve-wracking tests:

Spring Break.

Every year, the student association was hosting a great Spring Break party at Harvard's biggest venue hall and not only students from every faculty, but also the teachers were invited.

It was a time to blow of steam, to party and to make wrong, drunken decisions that led to embarrassment the next morning.

In short, it was a time that Amy dreaded.

Always being the quiet, bookish, eager-to-learn type of girl, she was never one to run riot with her fellow students, engage in pranks on teachers or drinking bouts. Especially not the latter since she was still a minor.

And even if she would want to do all those naughty, forbidden things, Amy had never been invited to those kinds of parties.

Until this year…

Amy was packing up her notes and books, biding goodbye to the unfortunate white lab rats before she left the neurobiology lab for the break with a sigh. She'd rather spent her time here with the caged creatures than having to deal with drunken students, going crazy in the hallways and in the rooms next to her own.

She had just opened the door to leave the building and head back to her dorm when she almost collided with another student. He was rather good-looking with tousled dark hair and a broad, toothy smile he was now directing right at her. Amy had seen him before somewhere. Physics undergrad; one of Sheldon's class, she remembered eventually.

"Oh… almost didn't see you there." The young guy laughed and casually shoved his hands into his dark jean pockets. He took half a step back, but was still blocking Amy's way.

"No harm done." Amy said soberly. "It's not unusual that other people overlook that I'm there."

The handsome student lifted his brows, obviously a bit confused about Amy's dry, neutral tone. "Well…" he said, briefly looking to his right where two other boys stood in the distance, watching the scene and whispering inaudibly. "Today is your lucky day then. I actually was just on my way to see you."

"See me?" Amy repeated disbelievingly.

"Yeah… seems like you won't get overlooked this time." he grinned.

Amy still frowned warily. "Excuse me, who are you exactly?"

"Oh, I'm Mark. I'm in physics. Maybe you heard about me, I just got a commendation for outstanding accomplishments in my department." He stood a bit straighter, if that was even possible, boosting his chest. "Got the highest score of all physics classes."

Amy forced herself to smile somewhat genuinely since she assumed that's what that student, Mark, expected. "Good for you." she said.

"And you're Amy." Mark continued, unimpressed by Amy's blatant discomfort about being held-up.

"Yes, h-how do you know me?" Amy gripped her books tighter and took a tiny step backwards.

"Because you are just as much a high achiever in neuroscience as I am in my branch. They say you're a genius." He grinned lopsidedly, which briefly threw Amy off her guard.

"They? R-Really, who's they?" she stuttered slightly flustered.

"Uh… just about everyone." Mark stressed enthusiastically, flashing her another confident smile.

"Oh…" Amy breathed out. Absent-mindedly, she reached for her hair and twirled a lock around her finger. Stop it, what are you doing? She dropped her hand immediately, clearing her throat. "Is… is that really true? Am I the talk of the university?" Amy grinned gleefully.

The stern, cold voice in her head that, again, suspiciously sounded like her mother's, was telling her that she shouldn't trust this guy. That he was just playing tricks on her like it always has been. But the little girl inside of her, who just wanted nothing more than to have friends and be recognized, couldn't be quelled in her excitement.

"You bet." Mark grinned back. The boys that were watching them seemed to snicker, but before Amy could wonder about that, Mark had already talked on. "This is why I wanted to be the first one to ask you."

"Huh?" Amy cocked her head. "W-What do you want to ask me?"

Mark smiled brightly. "To accompany me to the Spring Break party, of course."

Amy's heart stopped and then continued to beat twice as fast. Her sixteen-year-old self was performing a joyous, little happy-dance inside of her mind. She remembered her high school prom… or rather the lack of one. No one had asked her to go with her. Sheldon had been abroad and Missy had still been two classes below her. So, in the end, Amy never went to prom.

She remembered crying her eyes out that night. And now here she was, three years later… and a boy, a real boy, was asking her out!

"M-Me?" Amy whispered breathlessly. "You're… you're asking me to go to the party with you?"

Mark laughed, showing his pearly white teeth and running a hand through his hair. "Yes. I'm asking you."

"Oh…" Amy uttered again, covering her mouth with her hand to hide some out-of-character, girlish giggles.

"After all…" Mark continued. "We would make quite the good team, don't you think? We, the two stars of our respective classes."

At that Amy suddenly paused. Her mind was urgently reminding her of something. Of someone, more precisely, who she was supposed to meet after she locked up the lab.

She let her gaze wander around in the university park until she found a tall, lanky figure, standing rooted on the gravel path a few feet away from her. He was too far away to clearly read his expression, but she could tell that his hands were tightly balled at his sides.

Of course, Sheldon would be here, Amy thought. They usually met up in the park after classes. When she didn't show up on time, he must have started looking for her. Great, and what do I do now?

"Amy?" Mark spoke up, shaking her out of her inner struggle. "What do you say?"

"Uhm… I-I… don't know…" Amy stuttered, her throat closing up in panic. She didn't even know what exactly made this decision so hard for her. It's not like Sheldon would want to go to a party. Last year, he and Amy stayed holed up in the university library to study and work on Sheldon's lectures and he couldn't stop complaining about the noise the celebrating students were making all night.

He would never ask me to go with him. Plus, even if Sheldon wanted to, he couldn't be seen with me at a student party. Everyone will talk, Amy mused.

Mark was getting impatient and his friends started giggling even more. He looked around when he noticed that Amy wasn't even looking at him anymore. "What? You got someone else who would take you?"

Amy should have noticed that this sentence was accompanied by just a bit too much malice. But instead all she worried about was that Mark was turning in Sheldon's direction. As he looked back at her, however, lifting his brows in unawareness and clearly awaiting her answer, she exhaled in relief. Apparently, Mark didn't engage in the disseminating gossip about Amy and 'her favorite professor'.

"No." she said and Mark frowned. "I mean… no, I got no one else and yes…" Amy took a deep shaky breath to calm herself. "Yes, I would go with you."

All impatience and malice instantly vanished from Mark's face and back was the toothy smile. "Great. I'll pick you up at nine."

"O-Okay, great." Amy stuttered nervously. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Me, too." Mark said. "See you then." He turned and went over to his laughing friends who he fist-bumped and then walked away.

Amy curiously followed them with her eyes. What were they laughing about? She had no time to ponder, because as soon as Mark and his friends were out of sight, another male suitor stepped towards her, an angry, sharp gleam in his blue eyes.

"What was that all about?" Sheldon inquired immediately.

Amy crossed her arms. "Well, hello to you too, Sheldon."

He rolled his eyes. "Hello, Amy. Nice to see you today. Now, what was that about?"

Amy uncrossed her arms again, deciding to ignore his impoliteness. "It was… nothing important." she claimed, refusing to look at him directly. "Mark… he, uhm… he invited me to the Spring Break party this Saturday."

"Oh, did he?" Sheldon repeated indignantly and now crossed his slender arms. "And what did you say?"

Amy narrowed her eyes upon Sheldon's harsh tone. "What is this, an interrogation? I'm not obliged to answer you." she stated and began walking away.

With his long legs she couldn't actually outrun him, so it took Sheldon all but two large strides to catch up with her. "Amy, wait." he brushed against her left arm, but then quickly drew back his hand. "I'm… I'm just curious. I know this student. His name is Mark Conway. He is smart, but also very snobbish. His parents are rich and as far as I've experienced, that whole family can't take no for an answer."

"What are you trying to tell me with this?" Amy asked without slowing her pace.

"Nothing." Sheldon shot back way too quickly. "Just that he's a little brat with no manners whatsoever."

Amy gave him a dirty look. "Oh, yeah? Well, at least he's got enough manners to ask me to go out with him and I said yes."

"What?" Sheldon exclaimed with a high pitch. He stopped walking for a second, but quickly hurried to her side again. "W-Why would you do that? You don't even like college parties." He sputtered quickly.

"Maybe I do and you just never bothered to ask me to go with you." Amy replied defensively.

Sheldon's mouth opened and closed without making a sound; apparently he was too upset to sort his thoughts. "But… I-I couldn't… you… we… last year, we were in the library." he finally uttered. "You seemed to be quite happy there… with me."

"Well, and this year I'm going to a party. Simple as that." Amy sighed. She noticed how quickly their conversation got out of control; not for the first time these days. Waiting is something I can't possibly do any longer, she realized once more. "Sheldon, I don't know why we're arguing about this?"

"We're not… arguing." Sheldon said, forcing himself to calm down his voice. "We're discussing."

"What is there to discuss?" Amy inquired again. They had reached a round gravel yard in front of her dormitory where more students gathered. Amy and Sheldon were yet hidden behind a slight curve of the path and a tree, protecting them from curious ears and eyes. She stopped, turning around to look up at him. Sheldon seemed startled by her piercing gaze and swallowed nervously. "Sheldon…" Amy said calmly. "Do you have a problem with me accepting another guy's offer?"

He swallowed again and rapidly blinked his eyes; a clear sign for Amy that he was about to lie. "N-No." Sheldon mumbled stubbornly. "No problem. I just wanted to inform you that Conway isn't the most… trustworthy person."

"Okay." Amy said, disappointed that he apparently wasn't able to come clean to her when he was so obviously bothered. "I appreciate your concern, but I will still go."

Instantly, the sharp edge was back in his voice. "You can't be serious!"

Amy threw up her hands in frustration. "Yes, I am! I want to make new friends, believe it or not. And since you can't seem to admit that you're clearly jealous, Sheldon, I don't see why you should get a say in this."

Sheldon's jaw dropped and he inhaled in shock. "Sheldon Cooper does not get jealous!" he stated fiercely.

That firmness hurt Amy more than she wanted to admit to herself. "Fine!" she hissed. "Then there's nothing left to discuss. Mark and I will go to that party together." Amy turned on her heels and quickly marched away. She heard how Sheldon called her name, but she didn't care.

If he doesn't want me then I am free to look around, she decided angrily.

Amy's burst of resentment was fairly short-lived.

She tried to stay mad at Sheldon, feeling that for once in her life she should be free to choose with whom she interacts. But only a day after their argument, when Amy went shopping for a suitable dress all by herself, she began to feel guilty for running out on him like that.

Maybe Sheldon did mean well. Since Mark is one of Sheldon's students he must know him better than Amy did. What if he was right and Mark's intentions weren't as pure as she hoped them to be?

Amy pushed that thought aside; too big was the urge to find out how it would feel to be 'desired' by someone. Sheldon is just jealous and doesn't know how to deal with that, Amy reasoned. She had been burdened by this unwelcome, heavy feeling of jealousy twice before, but she realized it must be the first time for Sheldon.

A powerful, warm sensation coursed through her. Oh, yes, he is jealous. He is interested in me. Romantically interested.

If he would only admit it.

Amy was lamenting Sheldon's reluctance as she stood near a corner in the loud, colorful decorated venue hall, waiting for Mark to return to her with a drink.

She felt terribly out of place.

The dress she had chosen was floral and purple and reached her knees. Amy considered this as short. She smoothed down the long sleeves of the dark cardigan she wore on top. Not only because she froze easily, but also because she would feel naked without it.

One look around the spacious room told her that other girls didn't seem to have such problems.

Their dresses were more like long shirts by Amy's standards and she was actually embarrassed by the display of so much naked skin.

Mark had been nice, but also relatively curt with her. He arrived with her, greeted some of his friends without introducing them to her and laughed with them about jokes she didn't get. When she asked about it, Amy needed to shout over the loud music and Mark only dismissed her, telling her to loosen up.

That's why he was away to get her a drink and taking an awfully long time to do so. Amy had reminded him that she was only nineteen and legally not allowed to drink alcohol yet, but Mark either didn't hear her or he decided to ignore her.

Maybe this was a mistake, Amy thought.

"Having fun?"

Amy whirled around as a voice spoke near her ear and she gasped as she recognized him. "Sheldon? What are you doing here?"

He straightened up again after having to bend down to her level and stood there in a ridiculously checkered, thin suit, looking just as much out of place as she did… maybe even more so.

"I thought since you insisted on enjoying parties as of late, I decided to see for myself what seemed to appeal to you at this gathering." Sheldon stated, his head held high. "Until now I couldn't fathom what it is and therefore my question, are you having fun?"

Something in his voice told Amy that Sheldon was pretty sure to know her answer. As if he had watched her long enough already to see her nervous fiddling with her clothes and the lack of a smile on her face. As if he was just rubbing it under her nose that he knew she wouldn't enjoy herself.

Maybe, if Amy weren't just as stubborn as Sheldon, this wouldn't have brought her anger back. But since she definitely is, Amy crossed her arms and looked back at him defiantly. "I do, actually. I'm just waiting for Mark to return with my drink."

"I hope you're not planning to consume alcohol." Sheldon lectured a little taken aback.

Amy frowned. "Who are you? My mother?"

"Amy!" Sheldon stressed, stepping closer to her. "Can't you see that he is having a bad influence on you already? Please, be reasonable. Mark is not good for you."

"Oh, now this again." she sighed exasperatedly. "Sheldon, I understand your feelings, I really do. Remember how I felt with Paige and those girls in your class?"

Sheldon stared at her blankly. "Yes. But what has this to do with anything?"

Amy held her hand to her head in annoyance. The bright neon lights dancing on the walls and reflecting on every surface started to make her dizzy and the music wasn't helping, either. This wasn't the right place for a conversation like this. "I can't do this with you right now." she said. "Just… trust me, okay? You have nothing to worry about with Mark. I'll be fine."

"I strongly feel otherwise." Sheldon insisted, balling his fists and inching closer yet again.

"Don't get so close, you're not the only teacher here." Amy reminded him, widening the space between them.

"But Amy—"

She lifted a hand as he made moves to follow her. "And stop following me around. I'm a big girl now. I can take care of myself." Amy turned away from Sheldon and spotted Mark at the punch bowl. Bravely, she made her way over to him, passing a crowd of dancing bodies and knowing full well that Sheldon's aversion to human contact would most likely stop him from going after her.

"There you are." said Mark as he noticed her slinking over. "I thought you'd left already."

"I-I was waiting for you. You said… you would go get drinks?" Amy asked self-consciously.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to stay at the same spot I've left you half an hour ago." Mark laughed. "You're a smart girl; you're free to talk to anyone you like and get to know a few people."

Amy clasped her damp hands at her sides. "Oh, I… I don't know. I-I hoped you would introduce me to—"

"Well, this might help." Mark cut her off and handed her a red plastic cup. "It will make you lose that stick up your…" he stopped and grinned. "Well, you know what."

Amy looked wide-eyed at the offered cup. "Oh, no, I'm not allowed to—"

"Relax. It's not very strong." Mark stressed with an eyeroll. "Just have a little fun for once."

"I-I really shouldn't." Amy stuttered.

"You can stick to water for the rest of the evening if you don't like it. Just taste it first."

Amy still hesitated. Behind her she could practically feel Sheldon's eyes on her and she wondered what he would do if she did take the drink. Maybe if I only take one little sip it won't affect me so quickly…

"Or maybe I'll give this to someone else instead." Mark said dismissively, grabbing the cup and turning around to a giddy, blonde girl dancing closest to them.

"No, I'll…" Amy exclaimed, taking the cup back and carefully eyeing its content. "I'll taste it." Amy brought the drink close to her nose and sniffed. She thought she was able to detect a slight scent of alcohol, but when she sipped from it, the punch only tasted fruity and actually quite good. Maybe it isn't that strong after all, Amy thought. "Mmh…" she voiced unintentionally.

"See… good girl." Mark grinned broadly, taking a sip from his own drink. "Now, let's do something fun…"

Chapter Text

Amy woke up with a start.

She shot up in bed and regretted that action immediately. Groaning, she covered her eyes as piercing bright light shone through her black eyelashes. Her head felt like it got hit by an anvil and her stomach turned violently, making her feel nauseous.

"Easy…" a voice spoke up softly. She was pushed back into the bed by a gentle but firm hand. "Or you'll get sick again."

Amy groaned again, recognizing the voice. "Sheldon?" Her throat felt raspy and dry. She wanted to open her eyes to look at him, but the light was still too glaring. "Uhh… my head hurts." Amy wailed, throwing her right arm across her face.

"Wait a minute…" Sheldon said.

His hand disappeared from her shoulder and Amy found that she instantly missed the reassuring warmness of someone being close to her. She heard him ruffling with the curtains and in the next moment she noticed that the light didn't seem so harsh anymore. Carefully, she blinked through the cracks of her fingers. It was still daytime, obviously, but the room was darker now. It was her room, she realized.

Amy spotted Sheldon standing by the window with his hands folded on his back and a concerned expression on his face. "What happened? How did I get here?" she cawed.

Sheldon's mouth remained sealed as he moved over to sit at the side of her bed. He picked up a glass of water and a little white pill. "Here, take this. It will help against the headache."

Thankfully, Amy took both and greedily swallowed the cold, fresh water. She handed the glass back to Sheldon when she was done, still feeling nauseous but much more awake. "What happened to me?" she repeated.

Sheldon's eyes danced nervously from her face to her blanket and back again. "Y-You should rest a while longer. You didn't get much sleep last night."

He attempted to push her further back into the cushion, but this time Amy resisted. "Sheldon, stop." she demanded, stilling his arm. "Why don't you answer my question? I want to know what happened last night."

Again, more averting eye-contact. "Because you probably won't find it very pleasant." Sheldon answered reluctantly.

"I don't care." Amy said quickly, but beginning to feel a bit worried. "I have to know. I don't like the feeling of this… this gaping black hole in my memory."

"I understand that." Sheldon said, finally brave enough to look back into her eyes. "Very well, uhm… what is the last thing you remember?"

Amy sat up against the headboard with her knees pulled up to her chest and her naked arms wrapped around them. She realized for the first time that she was still wearing the same short-sleeved dress she picked out yesterday; her cardigan was nowhere to be seen. She blushed a bit, feeling exposed in front of Sheldon. "I… I think I remember, seeing you at the party and then… talking to Mark and getting a drink from him… after that I'm blank."

Sheldon's eyes darkened and his narrow shoulders tensed upon hearing the boy's name. "Well, that's when it started to get out of hand." he growled. "Mark…" Sheldon all but spat out his name. "Dragged you along to meet more of his friends. They were… laughing and pointing at your clothes. A few of the girls who stood with them seemed especially vicious. They talked to you for a while, went away and then returned with rolls and rolls of toilet paper."

Sheldon paused, giving Amy enough time to envision what would most likely follow now. Too afraid to hear it, but also too shocked to stop him, Amy pulled up her knees even tighter until her nails dug into her own skin.

"They persuaded you to go along with their horrendous idea." Sheldon continued the narration. "You didn't want to at first, but then they apparently claimed that it was a fun party game, or something equally ridiculous, to make each other new clothes out of toilet paper and Mark gave you another drink and… eventually you gave in."

"No." Amy whispered. It can't be true. It should have been different this time. I should have been the lucky girl with a real date to a party.

Unrelenting, Sheldon kept up with his recollection of last night's events. "The girls were lying. You remained to be the only one wrapped up from head to toe in toilet paper. They sent you dancing… pushing you around from one guy to another, spinning you and l-laughing."

Sheldon's voice was getting thin and he was looking downwards again. Stupefying tears filled Amy's eyes, but yet she was too upset, too shocked to let them fall.

"Eventually you got sick f-from the alcohol and all that spinning and you ran out to find the bathroom." Sheldon said. "Mark and his friends were still laughing and I… I went over to them to… give them a piece of my mind," he growled. "And to make one of the girls look after you. But suddenly, they all claimed that they barely know you and Mark even denied that he had been the one who brought you here."

Sheldon paused again to take a breath and shake his head in irritation. "I don't care who his parents are, but I will definitely tell Kingsley about the stunt he pulled." In a much softer voice he continued, "So then… I went to look for you." Sheldon swallowed. "You passed out in one of the stalls in the girl's bathroom. I… I began to remove the toilet paper from you, but you were still too inebriated to walk. So I helped you to get back to your room, put you to bed and stayed with you in case you get sick again."

Amy knew this was where the narration ended, but she wasn't able to say a word. With tears still burning in her eyes, she couldn't even bring up the strength to move a muscle. Silence filled the room.

"J-Just so you know…" Sheldon nervously spoke up again. "I didn't do anything to defile your honor. I-I slept in the chair next to you."

And after everything he just told me, he still worries that I could view him as the bad guy.

That thought finally caused the levee to break and Amy let out a strangled sob, followed by a swell of tears, soundlessly running down her cheeks and her neck, dripping down from her chin onto her knees.

"Amy…" Her name on his lips; so soft, tender and caring.

She squeezed her eyes shut, spilling even more tears as her body violently shook with sobs.

"Amy, please don't cry." he begged gently.

She hid her face between her knees, gripping her arms that she had slung around herself so tight that her fingers turned white and the skin of her arms turned red. "They hate me!" her voice suddenly broke out screechingly. "I'm so stupid. H-How could I ever think… tha-that they would like me? How could I e-ever think someone was interested in me?"

"No, don't say that. I-I'm so… sorry, Amy." Sheldon quietly mumbled. "Please, stop crying. I don't know h-how to calm you."

He was talking more to himself than to her and Amy didn't hear a word. Her sobs came so quickly that she couldn't really breathe and the pounding in her head was so intense that she was sure her brain was about to explode. "Y-You we-re right. He's-He's ba-ad for me. I should've listened. I am s-stupid and you we-were right and my-my mom was right a-and everyone w-was…" The rest of her sentence got swallowed up by another heavy sob that took her breath away.

Amy felt the mattress shift beneath her as Sheldon scrambled to sit down right next to her against the headboard. With much less hesitation than the first time he did this, he put his left arm around her bare shoulders and pulled her body close to his. Seeking his warmth, his strength and his familiar smell, Amy turned her head to press it against his chest.

Sobs still shook her, but now they were both trembling since Sheldon encircled her whole fragile, petite frame. "No one likes me. I'm g-going to be alone f-forever." Amy cried.

"Shh, that's not true." he soothed her, stroking her hair and holding her tight. His low voice rumbled beneath her ear and soft puffs of air ghosted over her forehead. "I like you." Sheldon declared without hesitation. "And I'll be there for you whenever you need me. I promise."

Amy's tears drenched his double-shirts, but she was able to calm down a bit. She released her arms from around her knees to wrap them around Sheldon's torso instead and held onto him like a drowning victim would cling to a lifesaver. "Stay with me then." she whispered brokenly. "I'm not ready to get up yet. Please… stay here with me?"

The pause was only brief. "Alright." Sheldon said then.

She loosened her grip around him so they could slide down to lay on the narrow mattress together. Sheldon above the blanket in a supine position and Amy beneath it, nestling tightly against his side, her arm across his chest and his arm around her back to keep her in place.

"Thank you." Amy whispered.

Not long after they settled down like this, she fell asleep.

The sound of a steady heartbeat pulled her out of unconsciousness.

Amy's eyes fluttered open and she instantly noticed that she felt way better than the first time she woke up.

The first time.

When she learned about all those horrible things that happened to her during that stupid party.

I should have stayed in the library with Sheldon, she thought.

It was only then that she realized, the heartbeat that still thumped in her ear wasn't her own, but Sheldon's. She was still resting with her head on his chest and felt how his arm held her close.

Amy hadn't imagined that this would feel so wonderful. Like Sheldon, she wasn't too keen on long-lasting forms of physical contact. But waking up like this, having him hold her so close that she could hear his heart beating, feel how his chest rose and fell with every breath he took… it caused her to reconsider. Sighing contently, she snuggled closer.

Sheldon stirred beneath her. "Amy? Are you awake?"

"Yes." she whispered, not to disturb the peaceful silence.

There was a pause lasting two breaths. "Don't you want to get up now?" he asked then.

"Actually… not really." Amy answered lazily. "It feels nice."

Another pause; longer this time. "B-But… don't you think it's inappropriate for us to… lay together like this?"

At that she had to raise her head to look at him. Her irritated and slightly hurt gaze met his frightened one. "Do you?" she asked him back.

Sheldon's eyes widened further. "I-I… uhm, I'm not—"

Amy swung up from his chest, shook his arm away and scrambled backwards to the opposite edge of the bed. "I understand. You don't have to say more." She turned her back on him and stopped, needing to figure out what to do next.

Should I kick him out? Should I apologize for invading his personal space for so long? Oh god, whatever you do, don't cry again, she told herself, fighting against the rising tears.

"Amy? A-Are you upset?" his voice spoke up tentatively. As Amy glanced half-way over her shoulder, she could see him extending his hand towards her, but stopping right before he made contact.

Amy shuddered. The previous pain she thought she had overcome, threatened to overwhelm her once more.

Why is this so hard for him? Why is it always going back and forth?

"Yes." she exhaled, choking on her words. "I am upset."

"Why?"

The pure innocence in his voice frustrated Amy as much as it filled her with compassion.

She snorted humorlessly. "You know exactly why or you wouldn't have noticed it in the first place." Amy got up, pulled another cardigan out of her wardrobe and dressed without turning back to him. She knew, would she look into Sheldon's face, she wouldn't be able to hold her emotions back. Tears would come as well as anger. She didn't want to be angry with him. It wouldn't be fair after he cared so well for her last night. Or was it just that; his previous tenderness and the contradicting behavior right now that made her angry?

Oh, I hate feelings! Why does this have to be so complicated?

Meanwhile, Sheldon had risen up from the bed, too. Uncertain, he stood in the middle of her room, hands pressed to the sides of his pants. "I-I didn't mean to upset you." he said. "I was just concerned about what my colleagues or the principal would say, if they find out I have spent the whole night in your room."

"No, you're lying!" Amy exclaimed suddenly. She turned around so quickly that her dark hair flew around her face. "You're not concerned about that."

Dumbfounded, Sheldon stared at her. "Amy… how dare you accusing me of lying?"

"Well, how dare you contradicting yourself all the time!" she shot back; the tears were audible in her voice.

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean…" Amy stressed. "That one day you're openly defending me against stupid physics students, making sure that I get to bed safely and comforting me when I'm crying and the other day you're so anxious that you can barely stand to touch me at all and you don't even look me in the eyes."

"Amy, I just told you this has nothing to do with you." Sheldon claimed.

"But it has nothing to do with your colleagues, either!" Amy yelled trembling.

"How would you know?" The volume of Sheldon's voice increased, too, and he stubbornly crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I… I…" Amy's whole body shook, but her voice faltered. "It just has to be like that. Because once you've said you didn't care what other people think of us. You said you'd always be there for me. Why would you say those things, if you don't mean it?"

"I do mean it!" Sheldon fought back desperately. "Of course, I do."

"Well, then I'm confused! What is still stopping you? Is it because you're afraid?"

"Afraid? Me?" Sheldon's voice rose higher, as if to emphasize the absurdity of this notion. "Do you hear yourself, woman?"

Amy threw up her hands in frustration. "What else am I supposed to think? You're not being very clear!"

"What exactly do you want to hear from me, Amy!" Sheldon shot back enraged.

"I want you to decide!" Amy yelled. "I can't stand this ambiguity any longer. What do you want, Sheldon?!"

Amy's wild gaze met Sheldon's. His normally bright blue eyes were dark and they seemed to bore right through her soul. And before she could form another thought, those eyes were suddenly mere inches apart from her.

She inhaled startled as Sheldon forcefully grabbed her face between his hands… and quickly, abruptly… pressed his angry lips against hers.

His lips were hard and tight and his grip strong as he attacked her. Amy didn't dare to move a muscle; too overwhelmed by the sensation of his breath on her, his clean smell and his pressing mouth.

Seconds passed and gradually, the forceful pressing softened. Sheldon exhaled, seemingly in relief, and all of his tension vanished. His hands held her gentler now. Amy had to crane her head upwards as he stepped closer.

Carefully, his lips began to move upon hers. Tentatively caressing them, tasting them. Finally, Amy's brain kicked in and she involuntarily reached for his upper arms as she responded to his tiny movements.

And as suddenly as it began… it ended.

Sheldon broke their contact and quickly held her at arm's length away. Amy's breath came short and deep and Sheldon's wasn't any better. Abruptly, he removed his hands from where he was still touching her and stared at her in utter shock.

So that was it, Amy managed to wonder, my first kiss…

Well, that was nothing like the kiss goodbye in the garden shed all those years ago.

Amy swallowed and cleared her throat. "That was… that was nice." she whispered almost inaudibly.

Sheldon blinked himself back to reality. "Good." he swallowed, too. Then his hands began to tremble violently and he balled them to fists. "I… I need to go now."

Amy didn't make any attempt to stop him. Sheldon had moved around her and out the door so quickly that she only realized that he was gone when the door closed and she was still blinking into empty space.

She didn't care.

Slowly, a smile spread on Amy's face.

He's so into me.

Sheldon wants me!

Chapter Text

It didn't really surprise Amy that Sheldon steered clear of her for the next few weeks. She had to sort through her own feelings, too, and their kiss kept her happy and satisfied for quite some time.

Just thinking about the flood of different sensations that arose while kissing Sheldon Cooper was enough to conjure a smile to her lips for the rest of the day.

And she was thinking a lot about it.

As a neurobiologist in training, Amy knew of course that her happiness was caused by her hormones and the endorphins that rushed through her brain, but who knew that this could last so long. In addition, Missy also helped extending her joy. Amy would probably never forget how silly they sounded when she called to tell Sheldon's twin about the kiss and both girls squealed into the earpiece like maniacs.

Eventually, after Amy calmed down from that exciting phase and gradually floated from cloud nine back to earth, she began realizing that her kissing partner didn't seem to have returned yet.

She figured that Sheldon would need some time to himself, but it had been weeks now. So, Amy waited; day for day she lingered at one of their secret meeting points without any luck. She tried at their favorite coffee shop, the university park and the library, but Sheldon remained notably absent.

Amy started to worry.

What if I misinterpreted his quick retreat? What if he didn't enjoy the kiss like I did? For all I know, he could view it as a horrible mistake; as that one step too far from which we can't return. Did I just ruin our friendship?

Whenever Amy had some time to spare, she sneaked into Sheldon's classes. But as soon as he noticed her there, he became exceedingly nervous and testy towards his students. Eventually, he would cut the class short and hurry out, giving Amy no chance to talk to him.

Trying to catch him at his office was a lost cause, too, because Sheldon kept the door locked at all times. It was obvious to Amy. Sheldon was avoiding her.

But he was the one kissing me!

This was the thought that didn't leave Amy alone. A single straw of hope which kept her fighting, kept her trying. After all, she didn't verbally ask him to do it. She merely demanded to know what he wanted and as a response Sheldon kissed her.

Oh, and what a kiss that was!

That was just another fact that Amy couldn't ignore. It wasn't just a simple peck on the lips, not a half-hearted, quickly executed lip-lock to keep her from talking. No, this was a kiss filled with passion and longing and… yes, maybe even desire.

It came from his heart and Amy knew it meant something to him, too.

But how could she prove it to him when he refused to talk to her?

Finally, because everything else failed and because she didn't care anymore what anyone thought of them, Amy came to his flat within the teacher's sector on a Sunday afternoon and boldly knocked on the door.

"Sheldon? Sheldon, it's me. Open the door." she called and waited. "Sheldon, this is getting tedious. Open up!" She knocked again, loud and persistent, but she was met with stubborn silence.

Amy narrowed her eyes and leaned closer to the door. "Sheldon, if you don't open the door this instant, I'm going to sing Neil Diamond songs at the top of my lungs and I don't care who hears me."

Silence.

"Sweeeet Caroliiine… good times never seem so good." Amy started bellowing. "I've been in-CLIIIned—"

The door opened so abruptly that Amy lost balance, squealed mid-song and ultimately stopped singing altogether when she was roughly pulled in by her arm.

The door slammed shut and she found herself face to face with an angry looking Sheldon Cooper.

"What? What do you want?" he barked, his arms tightly crossed in front of his chest.

Amy was taken aback for a moment by his harsh tone and struggled to form words. "I-I… I just wanted to ask you… if you were alright?" she stuttered insecurely; the boldness from before crepitated quickly upon his challenging blue gaze.

"I'm fine." Sheldon snapped. "Now, if this was all…" he motioned for the door.

Alarmed, Amy looked back and forth between him and the exit, her vigor returning again. "N-No, that's not all." she declared. "I…" She studied his face. Sheldon was clenching his jaw. In fact, every muscle in his body suggested tension. And what was that in his eyes? Anger? "I figured we should… talk… about what happened when we last saw each other." Amy continued hesitantly.

"There's nothing to talk about." said Sheldon. "You used to visit my classes before. It's nothing out of the ordinary."

"No, not that." Amy interrupted impatiently. "You know what I mean." She wrung her hands, looking downwards. "The kiss." she whispered shyly.

When Amy lifted her head again, she saw how Sheldon's eye twitched and his cheeks reddened. "There's nothing to talk about that, either." he stated. "It's in the past now. It won't happen again."

Amy tried to ignore the metaphorical kick in the stomach. "I-It won't?" Her voice faltered, as if she suddenly wasn't able to breathe.

Her obvious disappointment seemed to make Sheldon even more nervous. He clenched his fists and his eyes darted around in the room. Eventually, they settled on his whiteboard where he was apparently working on an unfinished equation. "I attacked you." he muttered lowly. "I had no right to force myself on you like that. If there's anything to say about this incident, then only that I'm sorry."

Amy furrowed her brows and took a quick step towards Sheldon. Immediately, he flinched and took a step back. Amy stared at him with hurt and disbelief. "You don't have to apologize. I-I said that I enjoyed it. I still think that."

Sheldon looked away. He took a deep breath as if he was about to say something, but then his lips quivered and he pressed them together, remaining silent.

Again, Amy inched closer to him. This time, Sheldon only tensed, but he stayed where he was. Softly, she tried to explain once more. "Sheldon, I'm here because I was worried about you. You seemed so distracted and short-tempered in your classes and you were avoiding me."

"Some people might take that as a hint." he muttered under his breath.

Fiercely, Amy shook her head. "No, I can't believe that you want to end our friendship because of what happened."

"What makes you so sure?" Sheldon challenged in irritation. "Is that one of your neuroscience tricks, where you claim to know better what's going on in my own mind than I do?"

"No, but I really want to know." Amy answered calmly. "Look… I know all those feelings must seem very confusing and overwhelming to you. It was for me, too."

"I don't want to talk about this." Sheldon interrupted her and swiftly turned towards his whiteboard to erase the last line he wrote. The board squeaked as he vigorously rubbed the marker away and his tensed shoulders obviously indicated his discomfort about the topic.

"Okay." said Amy quietly. "I just want you to know that you can talk to me about this. It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I don't want to talk."

She couldn't see his face, but to Amy it sounded like Sheldon was growling through clenched teeth. "F-Fine…" Amy mumbled, wringing her hands again. It felt like Sheldon was slipping away from her. As if that unique connection that held them together since day one was fading. She couldn't allow that to happen. What should she do without him?

Desperately, she tried again. "W-We don't have to talk about this. I'm here as your friend… nothing more. I'm simply worried because you haven't been yourself lately… b-but, of course, this doesn't necessarily mean it has anything to do with you and me or what happened between us. I just wanted to—"

"This has everything to do with you!" Sheldon exclaimed suddenly, drowning out her last sentence. He had put down the eraser so hard that the board wobbled and turned around to fix her with the same wild, erratic gaze he had shortly before he kissed her.

Now it was Amy who involuntarily stepped back in surprise.

Sheldon threw up his hands. "Just look at me!" he yelled, vaguely motioning around in his room. "I'm barely able to maintain my tasks every day, because I'm thinking back to what happened." He pointed a threatening finger towards his whiteboard. "I'm not able to concentrate on my work. I'm not able to focus or think of anything else than you and what we… what we did!"

Amy's mouth dropped open as she began to comprehend what Sheldon was saying.

"Every day, every second…" he stressed."Especially now when I'm looking at you… all I can think about is how it felt… to kiss you."

His voice got very quiet towards the end; fragile and insecure, like a scared little boy. Amy struggled to breathe again. Her heart hammered in her chest and she had to fight against the lightheadedness and the urge to grab Sheldon's face and do just what he was telling her about.

"I'm turning mad, Amy." Sheldon admitted helplessly. "This… this reaction isn't normal for me. I'm obsessing about this… this kiss. I'm…" Sheldon ran a trembling hand through his short, dark hair that was already unusually messy. "Oh, dear lord, Amy… this can't be good. It's… it's like you're a drug and I'm the addict, getting hooked after just one hit."

"Sheldon…" Amy attempted to calm him by reaching for his shaking hands, but he jerked back.

"No. I've decided that cold detoxification is the quickest way out of this mess." Sheldon explained. "You're right, I don't want to end our friendship, but I also can't face you in this unhinged state. I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you, but I have to overcome this first before it gets any worse and I'm not able to be near you again."

"Oh, Sheldon, don't be ridiculous—" Amy tried to reason with him.

"I'm not being ridiculous!" he snapped harshly. "I'm trying to fight for our friendship, but, Amy…" Sheldon literally sounded close to tears now. "I think I'm losing it. It's getting harder to fight."

"Then maybe…" Amy started again, extending her hands to rest them on his forearms. "You should try a different approach."

Sheldon flinched at her touch, but visibly relaxed after he allowed her to stay connected to him. "W-What are you suggesting?"

Amy smiled as reassuringly as she could muster. "I'm suggesting that you give in."

Sheldon recoiled from her. "No, Amy, I can't. I'm… I'm losing control if I give in. Like I did before. I was forceful; I didn't even ask for your consent." he babbled nervously.

"Just in the first moment." Amy reminded him. "You were getting softer."

"You couldn't even move. I startled you."

"Yes… you did." Amy admitted. "I was surprised, but, as I said before, I enjoyed that kiss very much."

Sheldon was biting his lower lip; torn between Amy's gentle persuasion, the daring seduction and his shaky approach of stubborn denial.

Amy could see his inner struggle. Pleadingly, she looked up to him. "Sheldon, please trust me. Nothing bad is going to happen if you give in."

"How can you know?" he inquired. "We're both equally inexperienced concerning this matter, aren't we?"

Amy sighed and wrecked her brain for a way to take Sheldon's fear away. Sensing that this was going to be a lengthy conversation, she looked around for something to sit on. Since there was only one desk chair and the small kitchenette with its plain, square-cut table didn't seem very inviting for a delicate talk like this, Amy settled for the bed and gingerly sat down at the edge of it.

Sheldon's nervousness spiked visibly upon seeing her there, but Amy patted to the spot next to her and patiently waited until he lowered himself down; as far away from her as possible.

She breathed in after she decided where to start. "You know… in the study I assist in, we're exploring the behavior of monkeys and how they react to the presentation and removal of different stimuli."

Sheldon wrinkled his nose. "Are you seriously comparing me to apes now?"

Amy rolled her eyes. "No… just, let me finish, okay?" Sheldon nodded his head reluctantly and motioned for her to continue. "Well..." she said. "I guess some of the monkeys are showing behavior which is similar to what you're experiencing. They're aggressive and anxious when we're depriving them of the positive stimuli."

"Withdrawal symptoms." Sheldon interrupted again. "See, I told you this is a serious problem."

"It just seems like an overwhelming problem to you, because you think that you're unable to control it."

Sheldon looked into her eyes in amazement as this realization dawned on him. "Yes." he said quietly.

Amy nodded, feeling confirmed. "So, what if we'd try to control this new kind of relationship just in the same manner as we're also controlling our study?" Sheldon looked skeptical, so she elaborated. "We could restrict the display of… uhm, romantic affections to times when we are alone and specify the length and kind of affection after mutual consent. No pressure or expectations… we're simply… conducting an experiment." Amy smiled. "Like we did when we were kids."

Sheldon sprawled his fingers on the soft mattress, looking into his lap. "I'm not sure if I can do this, Amy. What if I'm disappointing you or overwhelming you again? What if the experiment won't be successful?"

Tentatively, Amy sneaked her fingers in between his and squeezed them reassuringly. Sheldon looked up startled, but he didn't pull away. "Just have some faith in us." she said. "We've known each other for so long already… this simply can't pull us apart. I'm more afraid that we would lose each other, if you keep up this cold deprivation." Amy looked away from his attentive gaze. "I don't want that to happen."

There was a long pause. Then the bed shifted as Sheldon scooted a little closer to her, fully interlacing their fingers and squeezing her hand. "I don't want that, either." he said.

Amy smiled in relief and felt how her heart happily fluttered in her chest; as if it would clap applause.

Sheldon smiled back. "Maybe…" he pondered. "I could write some sort of agreement for us. Defining the rules and guidelines for our relationship experiment."

"That sounds like a great idea." nodded Amy. "I know how much you love schedules and lists."

Sheldon sat up straighter, obviously finally able to relax. "I always thought that life would be significantly easier if there was a firm set of rules for every kind of social encounter."

Amy giggled softly. "I hear you, brother."

They remained on the edge of the bed in silence for a while. Hands still intertwined, their nervous eyes sheepishly glancing at the other and hastily looking down whenever their gazes met.

Should I ask him?

This question suddenly appeared in Amy's mind; too pressing and yearning to ignore it once it was there. It could scare him, she considered. But I need to feel it again. I need to show him that this is what we both want.

"Sh-Sheldon?" Amy whispered, having to clear her throat to steady her voice. "Do you… uhm, would you want to… try it again? Now, I mean." Sheldon's head turned towards her and he furrowed his brows. "You know… k-kissing." Amy's voice quivered and her heart raced wildly in her chest.

Sheldon's eyes widened, but for once, Amy couldn't figure out what he was thinking. The drumming beneath her ribcage intensified and her palms were getting a little sweaty as Amy waited motionless for a reply. Oh god, that was stupid. Why did I have to pressure him? He will throw me out any second now.

"Okay." Sheldon answered suddenly.

Amy blinked, struggling to understand what his answer was implying. Okay? Really? "Uhm…" she stuttered. "O-Okay…" Amy laughed nervously, withdrawing her hand from his to rub them shakily along her legs. "I-I didn't expect that."

"You didn't?" Sheldon cocked his head. "Somehow I already reckoned that you would suggest something like that."

Amy nodded, unable to look him in the eyes. Which she knew was ridiculous, considering what she just requested. "Is that really okay for you?" she asked in a small voice.

"Yes." Sheldon confirmed, sounding a lot more confident than her, all of a sudden. "We're alone, we both gave our consent for a kiss and you convinced me that it's worth a try. Maybe another kiss will satisfy me enough for a while so I'd be able to focus on my work again; I certainly can't go on like this."

Amy swallowed, forcing her heart to calm down. This is what you want. Now go through with it, she told herself. With a soft smile she finally lifted her gaze to look at him. She saw nothing but kindness and curiosity reflecting back at her.

"Are you nervous?" Sheldon asked quietly.

"Yes." she said.

"Me, too."

Smiling at each other, they scooted towards the middle of the bed. Their arms reached out to one another almost of their own accord. Gingerly, Amy placed her hands on his upper arms while Sheldon's rested at her waist, right above her hips.

After their arms were securely settled, they both moved in. Startled by how quick they came closer to each other, they stopped… smiled, then Sheldon moved his head in again.

Stopping once more so close in front of her that she could feel the warmth radiating from his blushing face, but was no longer able to focus on the calming blue pools, Amy shut her eyes and closed the final gap.

She found that, conform to all the clichés she heard of in teen movies she used to watch with Missy, the initial touch was like an explosion in her mind and her heart. The shock sharpened all her senses.

Sheldon's lips weren't hard or tense this time; they were soft, shy and gentle. Like it did the first time, his breath left him in a relieved sigh, warming her cheeks. The lean muscles beneath her fingers were a paradox; soft but strong at the same time. And from his skin wafted the smell of talcum powder Amy long since associated with Sheldon.

The kiss lingered until they ran out of breath, but when they parted they both instantly knew that this couldn't be enough.

Coming back together, their lips interlocked tighter, moving curiously along each other. Tasting and wondering how it would feel to go deeper.

Without her realizing it, Amy had moved her hands up along Sheldon's narrow shoulders. One continued to move upwards to sift through his soft, short hair while the other moved down to rest above his fast beating heart.

Sheldon had encircled her waist tighter and pulled her closer to him while his head leaned further in, pressing deeper. Finally, his careful nudges were causing Amy to part her lips.

They both didn't realize what they were doing until the tip of Sheldon's tongue was grazing Amy's bottom lip and she couldn't help but hum appreciatively.

His eyes opened with a start, as did Amy's, and they hastily broke apart, removing their arms from one another as if burnt.

Panting heavily, they stared at each other from opposite corners of the bed. Sheldon's cheeks were pink and Amy figured that she must look just as fervid. She couldn't even remotely guess how long they had kissed. For all she knew it could have been merely a few minutes or even hours.

What she did know, though, was that she was so happy that she wanted to shout it from the university's highest rooftop.

"Wow…" Amy grinned. "That was… different."

Sheldon nodded vigorously. "It was. Different in a good or bad way?" he wanted to know from her.

"Good." Amy's grin widened until her cheeks hurt. "Very, very good. How do you feel?"

Sheldon put a hand to his lips and then to his flaming cheeks. "I… I feel… good. Fantastic even. It's remarkable." Amazed, he kept staring at her as if he couldn't quite comprehend the fact that she seemed to be the reason for his joyous mood. "My mind is getting clearer as we speak and I… I no longer feel the urge to bite someone's head off… preferably my own." he mused.

Amy chuckled lightly. "That would have been a pity. Especially since I need your head to repeat this experiment more often."

"Right…" Sheldon nodded absently. "But not right now. I need to work on that relationship agreement first."

Grinning in amusement, Amy watched as Sheldon stood up, walked over to his desk with his eyes still glazed over and started writing. She felt extremely proud that she put him in this dazed state.

"Okay… I guess I'm sneaking out then." Amy informed him and tiptoed over to the door with a smile. "Bye, Sheldon."

"Bye." he said. Amy had already reached for the door knob when he suddenly turned around and pierced her with pleading, big eyes. "Amy?"

"Yes?"

"I see you tomorrow, right?" Hopeful longing already tinted his voice.

Amy smiled. "Yes… see you tomorrow."

Chapter Text

Before long, another year flew by and Sheldon and Amy's relationship agreement elaborated with every new affectionate experiment they tried.

Sheldon realized that Amy was right; it was no use to fight against his longing to be near her when giving in made him so much happier, sharp-witted and… yes, sometimes a little distracted, too.

The new couple now was not only accustomed to kissing regularly, but also didn't mind to hold each other's hand when they were visiting the movies or cuddle on the bed while both of them were emerged in their own specialist literature. Once they even made out, kind of accidentally, after Sheldon sneaked into Amy's room one evening. But yet he couldn't stand French-kissing for long without suddenly bolting out of the room red-faced and greatly flustered.

Sometimes Amy was amazed how they were spending most of their time nowadays.

She clearly remembered their innocent years when they were just kids. Fighting over who could be friends with whom, helping each other out with school presentations and struggling to be heard in the grown-up world because they weren't challenged by their peers.

The experiments they were conducting back then were brilliant and inquisitive, but above all purely scientific. No one ever thought about the possibility that they could ever be anything more than just friends. Well, except Missy, of course. And if Amy was completely honest to herself, she had to admit that deep down in her maturing mind she always knew that if anyone was ever meant for her, then it would be Sheldon.

Back in those days, she always wondered if Sheldon secretly felt the same way about her, too, but was certain that she'd probably never know. And then, just as their feelings for each other were blossoming, they were ripped apart by miles and miles of the Atlantic Ocean.

So now… reunited at last and brave enough to act on their feelings, they apparently had a few things to catch up with.

Sheldon and Amy talked a lot about how every romantic experiment was affecting them and about their fears and worries. Sheldon wasn't very keen on those talks, but he relented eventually when Amy pointed out that they were doing this for the sake of keeping control.

After every blushing report Sheldon added new items to their agreement and Amy noticed with excitement how steady and easily they were making progress together. Secretly, and only between them and their contract, they've teasingly begun referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend.

Amy doubted that Sheldon realized how ridiculously giddy he was making her every time he said it. However, when she accidentally let it slip while on the phone with Missy that they were using those terms of endearment for each other, Amy was sure she temporarily suffered from a sudden loss of hearing.

It was safe to say that Missy was their number one fan.

Amy deliberated about whether Sheldon's mother was aware that her daughter's excitement after their almost weekly phone calls was caused by the fact that she and her son were now in a romantic relationship.

I wonder if Mary approves of us, Amy mused. Thank god, my mother doesn't know…

Despite their contentment with being affectionate towards each other, both, Sheldon and Amy, could feel a very heavy topic still looming over their heads. Something that yet had been left unsaid, but it constantly floated between them, begging for attention. Each day they felt its indubitable presence and it was getting harder and harder to ignore it.

Until, suddenly, the point of no more room for denial boldly presented itself.

For Amy it had been like every other stressful day since her final exams were drawing closer. Because Sheldon was free to do his research whenever inspiration struck him, he got no pressure caused by a submission date. That was why he gladly volunteered to spent quite a few all-nighters at the library with Amy while she was composing her graduate thesis in neurobiology.

"And these results only apply to observations regarding addictive behavior, which could help us to comprehend the processes occurring in human brains of drug abusive subjects. The possibilities of other behavioral studies with capuchin monkeys are eclectic and I esteem to conduct a variety of them in the near future."

Looking up from her papers, Amy ended her lecture and doubtfully waited for Sheldon's reaction. "That's it…" she said. "That's the final version. What do you think?"

Sheldon gazed at her from behind the long side of a table in the dusky library. He had folded his hands beneath his chin, the light of a single chandelier illuminating their secluded spot. Between rows and rows of towering high bookshelves that almost reached the ceiling they seemed to be lost in this grand hall of knowledge. The outer walls of the university's library got swallowed by darkness, which gave them the impression that they were the only two lifeforms on a new planet of pansophy.

This late at night, they probably were the only people still in the library.

"Sheldon?" Amy asked again, because he continued to stare silently at her, his blue eyes full of acceptance, curiosity and depth.

So much depth that Amy felt like she would drown in his gaze would he stare at her any longer. During the entirety of her presentation she had felt his steady, attentive gaze on her. Not once had he turned away or moved or even blinked. As if he was absorbing every word that spilled from her lips. As if he was consuming her very presence with his intense, longing stare.

Amy was getting nervous under his unwavering look. Self-consciously, she stroked her straight, dark hair behind her ear. "Sheldon, if it's bad just tell me. I can rewrite it."

Finally, he blinked. Returning from what seemed like light years away, Sheldon cleared his throat to respond, "No, it was marvelous… you were marvelous, Amy. Don't you dare changing a single word of your dissertation."

Blushing warmly, Amy chuckled. "Okay, I won't. I was just a little bewildered because you kept staring at me as if…" She paused. A word was pushing its way to the forefront of her mind. It has been there before, but she had panicked and forced it back. "Well… as if you were dreaming." she said instead.

Sheldon smiled. "And if I were, I would only dream about you reading this enthralling work to me."

She giggled, waving a hand at him. "Oh, stop sweet-talking me, Dr. Cooper."

"I mean it." Sheldon insisted. "Your thesis is brilliant and revolutionizing and I could happily spend the rest of my days listening to it."

With a grin, Amy leaned over the table towards him. "Well, thank you for your encouraging words." she said and kissed him sweetly on the lips. When she pulled back, the intense stare was back again, gently perforating its way to the core of her soul.

Her cheeks were flaming up once more, as if he would set her on fire. Nervously, she looked down to sort her papers and put various colored markers back into her case. Then she glanced back up. He was still watching.

"Sheldon…" she smiled. "You are staring again."

He blinked, his cheeks blushing adorably. "Sorry… I… I seem to be mesmerized by everything that you do."

"Don't apologize." Amy said sheepishly. "It's nice, just a little… intense."

Amy observed as Sheldon swallowed a lump in his throat. His eyes seemed to scream at her, telling her something that didn't dare to cross their lips until now. His mouth opened; he drew in shaky breaths… but whatever rested on the tip of his tongue remained unsaid. He just kept watching her from his chair.

Maybe I'm imagining things, Amy mused. He's just very attentive; he always is. I shouldn't interpret too much into his demeanor.

The rustling of paper was the only sound in the library. It was so quiet that even those soft sounds seemed to echo from the faraway walls. Occupied by her thoughts, Amy started to clean her workplace; closing books and capping pens. She was so focused on her inner musings that she didn't notice that Sheldon had moved around the table until he was standing close beside her. She jumped as he handed her a notebook to put away into her bag.

"Sorry." he quickly mumbled again. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine." Amy smiled, calming down and taking the notebook from his hands. "Thanks."

One heartbeat of silence, then the moment was here and he talked. "A-Amy… I just… I-I realized something."

Relief spread through Amy's body. So, I didn't imagine it. There is something on his mind. Trying to appear casual, Amy turned towards him with a soft smile. "What is it?"

Sheldon's nervousness was evident from the way he was clenching his fists and the inability to form words. It almost made Amy lose control over her patience. "It's… it's something… overwhelming for me." he said. "A new feeling… b-but at the same time… strangely familiar. I know it has been there for a long time now. I just… wasn't ready to… admit it."

Amy swallowed. "Y-Yes?" Don't jump to conclusions! Don't do it or it will hurt even more when you're wrong, she intensely berated herself.

Sheldon abruptly closed his mouth, breathed through his nose and then closed his eyes for a moment longer than a standard blink. "Do you remember that one conversation we had seven years ago?"

Amy blinked in puzzlement, trying not to let her disappointment show too much. See, I told you, the voice in her head mocked her. "Uh… which conversation? We had many of them and I don't have your eidetic memory."

Sheldon shyly eyed his feet. "Well… the one where you stated that you don't want to share me because… you like me." He looked at her from beneath his lashes, cheeks aflame.

In her mind, Amy suddenly was in the Cooper's garden shed after Sheldon's college friend came over:

"Maybe I don't want anyone else to like you."

"But a lot of people like me."

"Not like that."

"Like what?"

"Well… more than just… like…"

Ohh, that conversation! "Oh… yes. I remember that." Amy whispered breathlessly.

"Well…" Sheldon hemmed and hawed. "H-How do you feel about that now?"

"Uhm…" Flustered, Amy darted her eyes around. She couldn't believe how ridiculous their conversation must sound to an outsider listening in. There they were; two well-spoken geniuses, two Homo Novi, like Sheldon would say, but in the face of their feelings they weren't able to articulate one proper sentence without sounding like stuttering fools.

"I… I think I'm afraid…" Amy finally continued. "Of telling the truth."

"Why?" Sheldon inquired softly.

Amy sighed. "Because… I don't know how you would react. I don't want to overwhelm you and cause you to back down again."

Sheldon dropped his gaze. His bony fists were white from clutching them so tightly. But suddenly, he opened one hand and he reached for her. His grip around her hand was clammy and tight. Amy squeezed back, drawing comfort from his touch.

"Could you please… just trust me on this and tell me?" Sheldon mumbled quietly.

Amy glanced up to him, but Sheldon still wasn't looking at her. Interlacing her fingers with his and feeling how tight he was holding onto her made her smile involuntarily.

He has always been there, she mused.

Amy never found herself thinking back to her life before she and her parents moved to Texas. Nothing pleasant or important had happened back then. To Amy it felt like her life had started on the day she met Sheldon… and Missy, too, of course, and everyone else of the lovely Cooper family. They had often managed to make her feel more at home than her own family could.

And Sheldon… Sheldon was always by her side when she looked back on those memories. At first, they were opponents then they became friends. And she realized now as she was holding his hand that Sheldon truly became so much more than a friend very early on.

Amy gave his hand a gentle squeeze, finally making him look at her with fearful, awaiting eyes. "Back then when we had that conversation… we both agreed that we weren't ready." Amy smiled. "But I think I'm ready now." Suddenly, she spoke with more confidence. "I think I was actually waiting for this for quite a while now without even knowing it."

"I guessed that." Again, Sheldon's gaze dropped briefly, but as he looked back up, his eyes were full of sincerity. "I always knew somehow… I always said that you are special. I never felt so comfortable around anyone. Not even around most of my family. But you… you were just there. Always."

Amy smiled as she realized he was using the same words as she did in her head before.

"You seem to hold a mighty power over me, Amy. Getting me to do things, say things… feel… things, that I never did before." Sheldon paused to take a deep breath and squeeze her hand with his. "Ever since we met again, here in Boston, I denied those feelings. I told myself that you and I couldn't be… like that; because we were friends first. But now that we're doing all these fascinating, affectionate experiments…" he paused again, swallowing nervously.

"Yes?" Amy inquired barely above a whisper.

"Now that we do that…" Sheldon continued. "I know that those feelings have only gotten stronger. And I can't and also don't want to deny or fight them any longer." Sheldon swiftly took her other hand in his. Standing across from her, he shifted from feet to feet until he finally gathered enough courage to look into her eyes. "It's the only conclusion, Amy."

She nodded almost unnoticeable, holding her breath. Her heart was beating rapidly in her throat and her mind spun.

"Amy, I…" Trembling lips, squeezing hands. A sigh. "I love you."

Amy's heart metaphorically exploded. Oh, sweet relief. Oh, highest, purest joy.

"I fell in love with you, Amy." Sheldon repeated. The second time, his confession flowed easily from his lips. "I guess if I'm being honest to myself, I have been for quite some time."

With no held-back adoration in his bright blue eyes Sheldon gazed down at her. His earnest, love-filled look seemed to caress her gently. Only as worry suddenly crossed his features, Amy realized that she had begun crying.

"Amy…?" he whispered. By the low tremor in his voice she could hear that his panic was rising quickly.

She didn't give it one more thought.

Amy freed her hands from his to fling them around his neck. Rising on her tiptoes, she pulled Sheldon down to her and met him halfway. They collided like two stars in outer space.

She kissed him fiercely, holding onto him, pushing and pulling until they ran out of breath. Sheldon wove his hand through her long, dark hair and held her in place as their lips were meeting again and again.

Finally breaking apart for air, Amy stayed as close to him as possible. She was still standing on her tiptoes, their bodies touching everywhere, as Amy pulled him in with her arms slung around his neck. She lifted her lips to his ear, whispering, "I love you, too."

Amy could feel him grinning against her hair where he buried his nose to inhale her scent. His arms encircled her even tighter. "I love to hear you say that." Sheldon whispered back.

Chuckling timidly, Amy sought out his mouth again. They found each other, immediately kissing deep and passionately and getting even bolder as the minutes passed by. He wouldn't jump back from her this time; she was sure of it.

Until he did.

A door slammed shut somewhere far away in the dark depths of the library. Voices could be heard as a whole group of students entered their sanctuary.

"Oh, shit!" Sheldon cursed and abruptly backed away.

"Shh!" Amy shushed him scandalized and clapped a hand over his mouth. She couldn't help but giggle uncontrollably as she realized what had escaped him. "Sheldon Lee Cooper, I believe this was your first real swear word."

He took her hand from his mouth and continued to hold it in his. "Amy…" he stressed, looking at her with a mix of embarrassment and shock that she needed to point this out. But then he simply couldn't hide his grin as she kept giggling. "If my mother had heard this, I would be in so much trouble." Sheldon said.

"If my mother could see us now… she would pass out cold." Amy emphasized with a smug smile that made her feel so incredibly good.

"Okay, you win." Sheldon admitted.

Grinning, Amy put a finger to her lips. "Shh." Quickly, she collected the rest of her stuff, took Sheldon's hand and sneakily led him off to somewhere where they could be alone.

Chapter Text

Sheldon's confession of love had been like a catalyst for her mind and her confidence. Amy felt like she could take on the whole world because she knew she would never be alone anymore. She had someone beside her who loved her unconditionally and who would always defend and protect her as best as he could. As would she.

Sheldon.

Her best friend and her first love.

Amy didn't think that she could have it both.

Happy and inspired by that special night in the library, Amy flew on a cloud of wisdom and new ideas. Sheldon told her that it has been the same for him. It seemed like they were finally able to concentrate again after months and months of battling with the romantic tension. But now that everything is out in the open – well, at least between them – they felt like nothing could stop them anymore.

In the summer of the same year, Amy achieved her academic goal; much earlier than she thought she would when she first started out: She received her doctorate in neurobiology. With just over twenty and a half years of age, she was the youngest graduate the University of Harvard ever had.

As she walked up to the podium to accept her certificate during the graduation ceremony, Amy wished that her family could be here. She wanted to gloat in front of them; the quirky kid of the Fowler-clan was now an esteemed and successful member of society. Oh, how happy she was.

"Congratulations, Dr. Fowler." President Kingsley said as he handed her the framed diploma.

"Thank you." Amy whispered back, choked on her happy tears. As she turned around no one of her family was there, but to Amy it didn't matter. The only face she needed to see proudly smiled back at her.

Sheldon's height made him easy to spot, even in this vast crowd. He was standing at the side of the big venue hall together with all the other deans and professors, since the middle was reserved for rows and rows of excited graduate students from every faculty of the university.

He clapped along with everyone else as a whole class of new neurobiologists was sent out into the world. There was cheering and hats were thrown all around her, but Amy kept her steady gaze on Sheldon.

Across the distance of at least sixty feet, she could clearly see the love and admiration in his eyes. Words radiated from him and echoed in her own mind; as if she accidentally used the telepathic connection Missy claimed to have with her twin when they were children:

I love you. I'm so proud of you.

In that moment, Amy didn't care what was happening all around her. When she moved from the stage she made her way over towards Sheldon. Once on ground level she couldn't see him in the mass of people, but through a gap in the crowd she saw that he was no longer standing where he was before.

She craned her neck around, looking for his tall figure. Fellow students… no, fellow doctors bumped into her shoulders because she was blocking the way. And when she finally saw him, she suddenly had a very strong déjà-vu moment.

Amy flashed back to three years ago when she was nervously waiting at the airport for Sheldon to arrive from Germany. All that excitement and the anticipation of what could happen between them once they reconnect had buzzed inside of her. And then the crowd had parted and there he stood.

As he did now.

But now he was dressed in a suit for the occasion and despite his lanky frame and his narrow shoulders, he looked so mature and confident in it.

Like it did three years ago, it only took him a few long strides to stand directly in front of her. Unlike three years ago, he didn't hug her. Instead, Sheldon gently took her face between his hands, lowered his head and gave her a long, sweet kiss.

The people gasped around them. A few of them exclaimed something Amy couldn't really make out, because of the background mumbling of a hundred voices. When Sheldon pulled back from her the room was almost eerily quiet. He smiled, but Amy could only gape at him in shock.

The kiss happened so fast that she couldn't stop him. And even if she had been more alert, she didn't think she would have wanted him to stop. Now Amy was as speechless as everyone else. A small circle had formed around them, as if the freshly graduated students didn't want to be pulled into this conspiracy that they somehow always seemed to be aware of.

Finally, Kingsley spoke up from the stage. "Dr. Cooper!" he uttered in shock. "Your behavior is highly inappropriate."

With a never wavering smile Sheldon turned towards his boss and spoke up clearly. "President Kingsley, I would like to take this moment to inform you that I no longer care about that and that it's also no longer any of your business. Because I am going to quit."

The room gasped again. As did Amy. "Sheldon…" she whispered next to him.

"Don't worry," he said and reassuringly took her hand. "I already have something else in mind."

Sheldon tugged her along and together they walked out of the hall, hand in hand, not waiting for the official closure of the ceremony. Just before she closed the door behind her, Amy tossed her hat into the air and carelessly left it behind on the floor.

Soon the happy couple decided to move back home for the time being. Sheldon wanted to see his family again and Amy couldn't wait to reconnect with them, either.

However, she was worried how her mother would react once she finds out about the ruse that had been played on her; she still didn't know about Sheldon being with Amy the whole time.

But first, they paid a visit to the Cooper's.

They took a rental car from the airport to Medford. Amy was driving, of course. She had tried to give Sheldon lessons while they were in Boston, but he was still too insecure… ahem, too evolved, of course, to take the test. Amy grinned about that thought and threw her boyfriend a sideway glance.

Sheldon was looking out the window as the familiar landscape hurled by. He smiled contently and bounced his knee, apparently eager to arrive at his childhood home.

One day, I will convince you to get your driver's license, Amy mused.

As they turned into the Cooper's street, Sheldon's excitement was barely containable. "We're almost there." he voiced, his body trembling uncontrollably.

Amy smiled and briefly put her right hand upon Sheldon's bouncing leg to calm him. "I can't wait, either." she said. "I haven't seen them for five years."

"You're certainly aware that it has been seven years for me." Sheldon noted. "And although we are now in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, they're still… my family."

Amy rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "I know. I just wanted to express that I feel so close to your family as if they actually were my own."

"I see." Sheldon smiled and looked bashfully into his lap. "Just so you know… I regard you as my family just as much as my blood relatives."

Amy put the car into park in front of the Cooper house and turned to him, squeezing his hand. "Thanks for saying that."

Sheldon smiled up to her, but all of a sudden, he seemed to be caught up in his own thoughts for a brief moment. Before Amy could ask him about it, Sheldon blinked himself back to reality. "Are you ready?"

She grinned excitedly, her previous wonderment effectively diffused. "I am."

They both exited the car but didn't even manage to make one step towards the porch. Because suddenly, the door flew open with flourish and a tall, gorgeous brunette came sprinting out and over the lawn.

"Bestie!" she shouted and briskly threw her arms around Amy without slowing her run. If it wasn't for Sheldon, who reflexively held out his arms to stabilize her, Amy would've fallen backwards.

"Missy!" Amy laughed in surprise and patted her best friend's back. "I think you're asphyxiating me."

"Oh, there you are, you and your big words. I missed you, Amy." Missy blubbered, still not letting her go.

Amy noticed how Sheldon crossed his arms next to her and pulled up his brows. "Excuse me…" he said and tapped Missy's shoulder. "I'm your twin brother and you haven't seen me for years. Where is my overzealous welcome?"

Missy finally pulled back, put a hand to her hip and gave her brother a challenging look. "Yeah, right. As if you would want me to hug you like that."

Sheldon shrugged timidly. "Okay, I guess you're right."

Missy's deadpan look vanished all of a sudden and got replaced by a broad smile. "Oh, I'm just kidding, dummy, come here."

Amy laughed as Missy wrapped her arms tightly around her twin, effectively crushing him. At first Sheldon struggled against this manhandling, but eventually he surrendered with a sigh, putting his own arms up to hug his sister back.

Then Mary Cooper stepped out the door. It was like the sun came up twice that day.

Mary's joyful smile was so warm and welcoming that it almost brought Amy to tears. "Shelly." she exclaimed, putting her hands to her mouth and swiftly moving over the front yard. Missy stepped back, letting her mother embrace Sheldon.

"Hello, Mom." said Sheldon quietly and this time he hugged without hesitation. Amy noticed how Sheldon squeezed his eyes shut, almost as if he was desperately fighting to hold back tears.

"My lord, how tall you've become." Mary chuckled; the tears were audible in her voice. She took a small step back and looked up to her youngest son who now towered over her. Pride and love visibly glowed in her features. "Oh, Shelly." Lovingly, she caressed his cheek. "My little boy is a man now."

Sheldon's cheeks reddened and he took his mother's hand from his face to press a chaste kiss to the back of it. Mary's eyes widened in surprise. "I've missed you, Mom."

Both, Amy and Missy, were wiping tears from the corners of their eyes as Mary threw her arms around Sheldon once more, sobbing happily. "Oh, dear lord, I thank you." she exclaimed. "For bringing me back my Sheldon. Unharmed and well."

Amy chuckled when Sheldon rolled his eyes about his mother's little prayer. "Mom, you know that god has nothing to do with it."

"I disagree." Mary wiped away her tears and finally focused on Amy. "But I guess I also have you to thank." She smiled brightly, which made Amy blush. So, obviously, Mary was aware of them being together.

"Oh…" Amy said. "I didn't do—"

"Yes, you did, little lady." Mary interrupted her and surprised Amy by enveloping her in a warm hug, too. "I know you did take good care of my baby. Like you always did."

"I'm not a baby anymore." Sheldon protested.

"No, you're definitely not." Missy giggled, jabbing Sheldon's side with her elbow while suggestively raising her brows. "You have to tell me all about it later."

Sheldon didn't seem to understand her suggestions. "Tell you what?" he asked and furrowed his brows.

Oblivious to the meaning of the siblings' exchange, Mary spoke up, releasing Amy from her hug. "All about your adventures at Harvard, of course. And about the two of you." She grinned happily at Sheldon and Amy who now stood so close together that their arms brushed against each other. "I've always known you two will be perfect together, haven't I, Missy?"

"Yeah, you have, Mom." Missy agreed, rolling her eyes at her mother's obvious glee. "But I played a part in this, too. In fact, if it wasn't for me, none of this would've happened." she stated proudly.

Mary apparently began noticing that all this gushing about them was starting to make Amy and Sheldon uncomfortable. "Well… now, come inside you two. You must be starvin'." she said, changing the topic. "Meemaw is inside, reigning over the kitchen; she is making her famous brisket for the occasion."

"Is Georgie here, too?" Sheldon asked, taking Amy's hand and leading her over the yard.

"No, unfortunately." Mary sighed. "He still seems mad at you for leaving so shortly after your Daddy… passed away." She swallowed; the old grief was still evident in her voice. Then she put on a brave smile. "Your brother moved to Dallas and opened a tire shop some years ago. He's very happy there."

"Oh…" Sheldon voiced and then shrugged. "Well, then there's more brisket for us, I guess. Georgie always ate a plethora anyway."

"A what?" Missy giggled.

"Oh, some things never change, do they, sister?" Sheldon sighed and shook his head.

Amy spoke up before the sibling banter could take up the whole conversation. "But we can't stay too long." she reminded everyone.

"Yes." Sheldon agreed. "Amy and I still have to visit her parents."

Missy wrinkled her nose. "You really wanna do that?" she asked her twin. "Amy's mom mostly blames you for Amy moving as far away from her as possible."

"That's preposterous." Sheldon exclaimed. "What did I do?"

"Anyway…" Mary cut in. "I insist that you stay at least until I serve my pecan pie."

Sheldon's eyes sparkled, his irritation forgotten. "You made pecan pie? Oh, goodie!"

And with that he dropped the perplexed looking Amy's hand and dashed inside. "Great." Amy said dryly. "One day, he'll leave me for pie."

Missy and Mary laughed.

As Sheldon and Amy stood in front of the Fowler home, a different kind of excitement spread within them. There wasn't that warm, fuzzy feeling of anticipation, the joy of finally returning to a place where you collected your best childhood memories.

This was fearful excitement.

They didn't know what to expect, but they definitely decided that whatever awaits them, they'll face it together.

Amy and Sheldon looked at each other and squeezed their intertwined hands as Amy knocked on the door.

It wasn't all the way open yet when Karen Fowler's voice was audible. "Amy, I've been waiting for—" She stopped abruptly when her daughter came into view… and she realized that she wasn't alone.

The thin smile that had found its way onto her lips vanished immediately and Karen kept staring at her daughter's companion with a look of surprise and horror. It was clear on her face that she knew he seemed familiar, but she didn't recognize him right away.

"Who the hell are you?" Karen uttered bluntly.

"Mom, I thought you would recognize your only daughter." Amy dared to joke.

Karen was too perplex to even notice the irony. "No, I mean… him." Her eyes jumped back and forth between their faces and occasionally down to their clasped hands. "Has some no-good Yankee college boy turned my nice girl's head around?" she questioned with menace, not with delight.

"Sort of." Amy shrugged with a small smile and glanced up at Sheldon who nervously averted his eyes under Karen Fowler's condemnatory glare. "He was at Harvard with me, but he isn't from up there." she added. "Actually… you already know him."

At that Sheldon finally found the courage to look directly at Karen. For a second she narrowed her eyes… then Amy knew that her mother suddenly recognized him.

"Mom… this is my boyfriend. Sheldon Lee Cooper."

With eyes as wide as saucers, Karen looked up and down on him, obviously trying to comprehend the fact that the slender, young boy she chased off her property once was now a grown man… and holding hands with her daughter.

"You…" she breathed out.

"Nice to meet you again, Mrs. Fowler." Sheldon said cordially and even stretched out his hand for her to shake. But she just kept staring.

"How can you…" Once more Karen's eyes flickered down to their joined hands. "You… you left." She gave Sheldon a hard look. "You broke her heart. How can you be here with my Amy again?"

Before Sheldon could answer, Amy held up a hand. "Mom, why don't you invite us in and we'll explain everything." she suggested.

Her mother seemed to have to consider this first, but then she stepped aside. "Fine. Come in."

Nothing had changed inside of the house, Amy noticed. Everything was just the same. Old-fashioned and prim; just like her mother. Moving over to the plush couch to settle down, Amy hopefully asked, "Is Dad home?"

"No, he's still at work." Karen answered. "He planned on leaving early today, though, since you're returning home." She made a point of only addressing Amy and completely neglecting Sheldon. He seemed to get the hint and stayed quiet for the sake of peace.

An uncomfortable silence spread. Karen was obviously curious to hear about the story behind Sheldon's reappearance, but too stubborn to ask for an explanation. Amy sighed, knowing that it was best to be blunt and honest with her mother and deal with the scolding afterwards.

"So, Mom… since you asked previously… Sheldon and I had been corresponding ever since he left town. I think you're aware of that—"

"I am." Karen cut in. "And I didn't understand why you insisted on writing letters in the first place when that boy caused you nothing but tears."

Amy swallowed her anger and tried to stay calm and reasonable. "That's not true, Mom, and you know it. I was always happy to be around Sheldon, that's why it was so hard for me when he left. But later I understood why he had to do it."

Sheldon seemed to sense her tension and gave her hand, which rested with his on her knee, a reassuring squeeze. Amy breathed deeply through her nose and calmed down immediately.

"When I went to Harvard…" Amy continued. "Sheldon arranged for a transfer so that… he was able to teach as a professor at my university."

Karen's mouth involuntarily dropped open. She hid her shock quickly and nonchalantly asked, "And when did that happen?"

Amy chewed nervously on her bottom lip, looking into her lap. Realizing what she was doing and hating that she allowed herself to feel guilty about this, she held her mother's gaze again. "Two years after my matriculation."

"Amy!" Karen Fowler exclaimed. "That was three years ago. How often have we spoken since then? And you never told me? Oh, Amy… I'm disappointed that you would lie to me like that."

"I understand that, Mom." Amy pleaded, stubbornly refusing to feel bad about keeping secrets. Without noticing she held Sheldon's hand tighter. "But I knew how you would react. You were never very fond of Sheldon, which is completely beyond me since he was always polite towards you and never did anything to deserve this kind of harsh treatment."

"Because you never saw how it would look." Karen argued. "You two were so young—"

"Yes, but we were only friends!" Amy couldn't help but raise her voice to silence her mother. "And when we met again… we weren't children anymore and there was this connection." Amy looked at Sheldon, struggling to explain, but he could only smile encouragingly at her. "I've never felt anything like this. So… just last year, we decided to start a romantic relationship." Amy smiled back at Sheldon, intertwining their fingers. "And since then I've never been happier."

Karen couldn't be convinced by their love-filled grins. "You say that now, Amy, but the fact remains that you are still young." she stressed. "Opening up your inexperienced, lovesick heart to someone can be dangerous. Anything can happen. Can't you see, child, that I'm only trying to protect you from getting hurt again?"

Amy opened her mouth to protest, but this time Sheldon surprised her by beating her to a response.

"If I may say something, Mrs. Fowler…" he spoke up clear and unwavering.

Karen blinked at Sheldon as if she just now became aware that he was still in the room; his tone of voice didn't allow her to object.

Sitting up straighter, Sheldon cleared his throat and bravely looked into Karen Fowler's cold eyes. "I want you to know… that I'm in love with your daughter." he confessed firmly. "If I caused her to shed tears in the past then rest assured that it was not my intention. I understand that you want to protect her, but you don't have to protect her from me. You never needed to. The last thing I want is causing pain for Amy. I love her and I'm not planning on leaving her ever again."

The weight of Sheldon's speech hung in the air like sweet perfume. It caused Amy to breathe in deeply to suck in more of that heavenly fragrance that was his statement of love. It caused her to tear up and put a hand upon her chest to calm her racing heart.

For once, her mother seemed to be at a loss for words, too. Open mouthed she stared at Sheldon, somehow trying to find a flaw in his confession, but at the same time, she didn't seem to dare doubting him. "I-Is that so, yes?" she finally uttered.

"Yes, ma'am." Sheldon nodded certainly.

Amy put her other hand upon Sheldon's as she found her own voice again. "Mom… it would mean very much to me if you'd approve of Sheldon as my boyfriend. But if you still can't…" she paused with a sigh. "Know that we will continue our relationship anyway." Amy and Sheldon locked gazes again and smiled at each other. "Because I love him, too." she said.

Karen averted her eyes, apparently ashamed of their open display of affection. "Well…" she murmured, clenching her jaw. "It seems that you two made yourself clear. If this is what you want… I won't stop you, Amy."

"Thanks, Mom." Amy breathed out in relief. But she noticed, however, that it was much harder for her mother to simply shake off her unease.

"If it would help to diffuse your worries," Sheldon added suddenly. "You could come to my Meemaw's 60th birthday party in two months. We're celebrating in my mom's backyard. Your husband is invited, too, of course." he offered. "There I can assure you of my sincerity concerning your daughter."

Amy furrowed her brows and looked at him. Previously, at the Cooper's house, after Sheldon's Meemaw enthusiastically greeted her grandson and his girlfriend, she had proceeded to make plans to invite Amy to her oncoming birthday party. Amy didn't want to barge in to a family festivity, but Meemaw insisted. But never was it spoken of that Amy could bring her parents, hence her confusion now.

"Sheldon… how would a birthday celebration prove to my mother that—" Amy paused when she heard keys jingling at the door. Dismissing all of her questions at once, she jumped up in excitement. "Daddy." she breathed out happily when Larry Fowler appeared in the doorway with a kind smile.

Amy didn't wait for him to greet her, but instantly hurried over to hug him tightly.

"Welcome back, sweetheart." Larry said quietly. "Tell me about Harvard."

Sheldon and Karen watched as Amy joyfully started narrating. The tension from before visibly melted away from her as she could finally tell all the tales she'd been wanting to tell since she stepped through the door.

Karen caught Sheldon's fond gaze over the coffee table. She pressed her lips together to form that strained, thin smile that was customary for her and nodded at Sheldon.

He nodded back. An affirmative answer to his invitation and a first sign of truce between them.

Chapter Text

And look where they are now…

Missy Cooper sighed happily as this thought crossed her mind. She leaned at the kitchen counter, standing on her tiptoes to peer out the window. Outside on the front porch Amy and Sheldon had escaped the birthday festivities for a while.

They weren't aware that Missy was spying on them since she stayed carefully hidden behind the curtain.

Amy was leaning against the pillar, talking animatedly while Sheldon stood next to her, his arms crossed, trying his best to look annoyed about the mass of relatives that came to Meemaw's party. But apparently, he failed since he couldn't help but smile back at her.

Shelly sure as hell changed a lot because of her, Missy realized and giggled softly when Amy obviously tried to relax Sheldon. The number of guests exceeded his tolerance of gatherings. Even more so, because the small backyard wasn't laid-out for a birthday party of at least fifty people.

Amy stood straighter, lovingly rubbed up and down Sheldon's arms while telling him something that had the immediate effect of easing him up. Fascinated, Missy kept watching as a somewhat charming smile grew on her brother's face as he answered his girlfriend. Then he proceeded to bend his head down to kiss her tenderly.

"Seen enough?"

Missy couldn't quite hide the fact that she jumped as Meemaw sneaked up behind her. "Meemaw…" she grinned as nonchalantly as possible. "Shouldn't you be out back, handing out cake?"

"I should..." she drawled. "But we ran out of napkins." Meemaw held up the stack of paper napkins, which was the reason for her stealthy visit to the kitchen.

Never one to pass an opportunity of a little curious spying herself, Meemaw stepped closer to her tall granddaughter and craned her neck to get a glimpse of her special grandchild and his girlfriend. She just caught them walking back around the house, hand in hand, to join the rest of the family.

Missy grinned about how similar she was to her Meemaw and nudged her shoulder. "And… what do you think about them?"

"I think her mother is a nasty, old dragon worse than those of the silly fantasy board games Sheldon used to play as a kid." Meemaw said.

Missy laughed openly. "I know. I have no idea why Sheldon had to invite her. It's probably just his attempt at being polite."

Meemaw smiled conspiratorially. "Yeah, probably… although… I could imagine that there's something else he's planning." she murmured under her breath.

"What do you mean?" Missy inquired, sensing a tantalizing piece of gossip behind her words.

"Never mind. What do you think of them?" Meemaw shot back quickly.

"Me?" Missy shrugged and then crossed her arms proudly. "Just that they wouldn't be together without me. And that Shelly would be a much bigger pain in the ass if it wasn't for Amy. She's really good for him."

"That she is." Meemaw chuckled. "Have you seen how quickly she could calm him? My Moonpie from ten years ago would have already thrown more than one tantrum, because this 'unruly' crowd of people that is his family violates against all kinds of safety protocols he made up."

Missy smiled and nodded in agreement, but she didn't let herself be distracted so easily once she picked up on a yet unspoken secret. "Meemaw, what did you mean? What else could Sheldon have in mind?"

Her grandmother looked at her for moment before a sigh and a smile indicated that she obviously knew that Missy wouldn't just drop the subject. Putting the napkins onto the counter, she took Missy's arm and steered her to the small kitchen table where they sat down. Suspiciously, Meemaw looked at every doorway as if she expected someone to eavesdrop. It made Missy all the more impatient.

"Meemaw, just tell me. What is it?"

The old lady leaned in until their heads almost bumped together. "Okay… so, when Sheldon returned from Boston with Amy, I took him aside when you, your mother and Amy were busy washing the dishes after we ate. I made him a gift back then… I really hope you're not going to be mad at me for this…" she paused again, checking the entryways.

Missy rolled her eyes. "Meemaw, this is getting ridiculous." she chuckled.

"Hey, excuse me for not wanting any rumors to spread while I'm not even sure that this is actually what's happening here." Meemaw defended herself.

"Okay." Missy stressed in amusement. "Get on with it."

Again, Meemaw looked at her granddaughter as if she was silently apologizing for something. Then she covered Missy's hand with her older one and confessed, "I gave Sheldon my engagement ring. The one your Pop-Pop gave to me."

Missy blinked a few times, processing what her grandmother was implying.

"I know, you might have been expecting to receive it since you're the oldest girl of all of my grandchildren…" Meemaw continued with a slight hint of guilt in her voice. "But I think we can agree that no one ever expected Sheldon to find a girl, being the quirky child that he always was. And now that he has Amy… I just know that she'll be the one for him. Like I was for Pop-Pop." She laughed. "You know, until that moment that Sheldon started talking, I was convinced that there can't be a more stubborn person on earth than my husband."

Missy smiled, trying to bring back some vague, early memories of her grandfather before he died when she was only five years old. She remembered that he had been a difficult person, but in his presence she always felt secure and loved despite the fact that he hardly ever told her so. She and Sheldon, both loved Pop-Pop very much.

The only one who loved him even more was Meemaw.

Suddenly, Missy fully understood what her grandmother was saying: There can't be anyone else who loves Sheldon in the wholehearted way that Amy does.

"I'm not mad at you because Sheldon gets the ring." Missy interrupted her Meemaw before she could continue her rueful explanation. "Honestly, I haven't even thought about it until now and all of my boyfriends have been jerks so far anyway." She dismissively waved a hand, which made Meemaw chuckle. "It makes sense that he gets it. I love Amy and she deserves it."

"Good." said Meemaw in relief and stroked a brunette strand of hair behind Missy's ear. "I'm glad that you think so. I love her, too. I've never seen Sheldon so carefree and happy with another person. She's a mighty little woman… that Amy."

Missy vigorously nodded her head and grinned. "Ohh, this is exciting!" she whispered. "When do you think Sheldon will get up the courage to pop the question?"

Meemaw was about to reply when Mary stuck her head into the kitchen. "There you are, you two gossip girls. I've been looking all over for you." Mary stood there with her hands on her hips as if she was scolding two naughty children. "Shelly wants to give a speech and you know how nervous he gets in front of large crowds." She motioned with her hand at Meemaw. "Come on, he won't start without you."

Missy grinned. Obviously, her mom was sure that Sheldon would give a birthday speech to Meemaw. Her heart fluttered excitedly. But what if this speech turns out to be directed at someone else entirely…

Meemaw proved to think alike and leaned in again before they followed Mary out to the backyard. "It might happen sooner than you think." she answered Missy's earlier question in a hushed tone.

Sheldon was wringing his hands as he shuffled back and forth on the small deck at the back side of the house, which effectively elevated him from the rest of his extended family. Missy couldn't help but excitedly slap him on the back as she hurried past him to reach a lawn chair close to where her mother and Meemaw were already sitting.

"Uhm… okay, now that everyone's here…" Sheldon began nervously and everyone turned his attention towards him. "I'd like to say a few words."

Missy waited… as did everyone else, but Sheldon struggled to find his voice again. She really felt bad for him as she recognized how the panic was rising in his widened, twitching eyes. He scanned the clusters of chairs and tables that were arranged in the garden; a sea of expecting, questioning eyes was looking back at him and getting more impatient the longer his break stretched.

Finally, Sheldon settled his gaze on a chair to the far left where Amy was sitting with her family. Missy saw how lovingly Amy smiled at her brother and in turn he smiled back and was able to carry on with his speech.

"This is a very special day for you, Meemaw. Normally, it would be customary for me to say some things about your life and what you mean to me. But…" Sheldon paused for a moment. "I'm confident that you already know everything I could say to you now. I also know… that you wouldn't be mad at me, if I use this opportunity… this special occasion… to dedicate this speech to someone else who is as close to my heart as you are…"

He moved down from the deck and slowly went over to stand before a surprised and shocked looking Amy.

"Amy…" Sheldon started, the tenderness of this one word melting Missy's heart. "When I met you over ten years ago… I didn't really like you. You were strikingly blunt with everyone and you were so smart that I immediately viewed you as competition I needed to defeat. Now… we're a couple." Sheldon couldn't help but smile. "And you morphed from an equal opponent, to a like-minded friend and finally to one of the most important persons in my life. I can trust you with everything. I can share my ideas that no one else can grasp. I can tell you my innermost feelings without being afraid that you would mock me. I can fully be myself with you. And for that I'd like to thank you."

Missy swallowed a lump in her throat and chuckled at the baffled face of her mother, because obviously she had in fact expected a different kind of speech.

"No matter what obstacle stood in our way, we never gave up on our friendship and you were always there for me, Amy." Sheldon continued. "I hope I was just as much a trusting, supportive companion to you as you were to me."

"You are, Sheldon." Amy was heard to emphasize quietly among the astounded murmurs of the Cooper family.

Sheldon suddenly turned around, easily spotting Missy in the crowd and addressing her sincerely. "And I also thank my twin sister, Missy, and my mother, respectively, for introducing Amy into my world and for supporting our friendship before we even considered ourselves as friends."

Missy put a hand to her chest, shocked by Sheldon's words. After all those years of sibling rivalry, her brother was now openly thanking her for something he used to resent her for. Missy flashed back to that Saturday afternoon when she and Sheldon had to clean their room. He was complaining about her tendency to make fast friends, which led their mother to invite Amy over for the very first time.

Her brother's voice carried on. "Amy, now that we're both officially grown-ups in the eyes of the law, I feel like a new chapter begins for us." he explained. "And since I don't want to let any national or international borders come between us anymore, I have not only finally taken that promising job offer at CalTech in Pasadena, but I also convinced the head of the institute to employ you for their neuroscience department."

Excited murmurs surged through the Cooper's backyard. Amy's hands flew to her mouth; her eyes sparkled with unshed happy tears. "There you can do more research for your addiction study and you'll be close to me." Sheldon admitted quietly.

Missy momentarily held her breath when she saw how Amy's mother gasped in shock. Mrs. Fowler already moved to stand for an undoubtedly loud objection, but, just in time, the silent Larry Fowler laid a firm hand upon his wife's arm and definitely shook his head. Flabbergasted, Amy's mother remained sitting and continued to watch everything unfold.

The pregnant pause Sheldon made apparently led Amy to believe that he was finished, so she stood up, intending to embrace him. "Oh, Sheldon, I can't believe you managed to do all this. I'm so happy, I—"

"Wait." Sheldon held up his hands before she could throw her arms around him. "I… I still have to tell you more." he stuttered sheepishly.

Amy slowly dropped her arms and curiously tilted her head. "What else, Sheldon?"

"Uhm… well, I… I-I realize that to the majority of our families this may be the kind of life-changing moment that will seem too early or too hasty for us to do..." Sheldon nervously clasped his hands at his sides, breathing deeply. "But I already took my Meemaw and your father into my confidence and they seem to be okay with it."

Missy's heart beat out of her chest and again she was holding her breath. At her side, her mother excitedly crushed the bones of her right hand to the point where it was hurtful.

"Also…" Sheldon continued and he suddenly seemed almost casual. "I can't think of any reason why I should wait any longer for this." Abruptly, he shoved his hand into his right pant pocket and with a long breath out… he moved down to one knee.

"Oh, dear lord." Mary exclaimed quietly and Missy could only agree.

Amy's eyes quickly filled with disbelief, shock and untamable joy as the little black velvet box came into view between Sheldon's upheld hands.

"Amy Farrah Fowler… I love you and I know that I want you by my side for the rest of my life… for more obstacles to overcome and for more brilliant ideas to share." There was not the slightest sign of trembling in Sheldon's voice as he finally asked her. "Amy… will you marry me?"

The family gasped collectively. Karen Fowler's face was quickly losing all its color. Meemaw leaned back and grinned like the proudest grandma in the whole wide world. Mary and Missy were clutching each other's hands. And Amy… Amy couldn't decide if she should be crying or laughing. Ultimately deciding for both at the same time, she took Sheldon's hands and nodded fiercely at him.

"Yes!" she exclaimed and the party cheered.

A wide smile spread on Sheldon's face as Amy took the golden ring from its box and put it on her finger. Standing up from the ground, Sheldon opened his arms for her and she threw herself at him. They hugged each other tightly for what seemed like a lifetime and finally Amy dared to lift her head and kiss Sheldon in front of the entire extended family.

Movement ignited in the crowd. Everyone at once closed in on the newly engaged couple to congratulate them. Missy and Mary started moving, too. Missy rolled her eyes when she saw how her sentimental mother kept wiping tears from her cheeks. Then she had to laugh as she realized that she was crying, too.

Finally pushing through the circle that had formed around Sheldon and Amy, Missy watched as the extraordinary couple rather reluctantly and shy shook hands, received hugs and expressed their gratitude to everyone around them. She saw how Larry Fowler patted his still baffled wife's shoulder and took her hand to lead her over to their daughter and their new son-in-law.

Upon seeing the overwhelming happiness in Amy's face, Karen Fowler apparently got over her shock and she proceeded to embrace her precious child tightly while a single tear escaped her eye.

Meanwhile, Mary completely lost her composure as she grabbed hold of Sheldon, steadily mumbling something about 'her baby' and about the mighty wonders god can work.

At last, it was Missy's turn to congratulate her twin and her bestie.

"Aww, Shelly, I can't believe it! You're engaged!" she squealed into his ear as she hugged him.

Sheldon cringed. "Ow! Missy, you know I have sensible hearing."

"Stop whinin' you big baby." she dismissively drawled and pulled Amy into a crushing hug next. "Oh, Amy, I'm so happy for you. You realize that we're practically sisters now, right?"

"Yes, I know." Amy grinned happily. "Things simply can't get any better than that."

The girls laughed upon Sheldon's puzzled expression. "Wow, brother…" Missy continued after their laughter died down. "You planned this all along, haven't you? Ever since you moved back home. The proposal, your and Amy's job in Pasadena… all of this?"

Sheldon puffed out his chest. "Of course, I have. You know I excel at planning ahead."

"Oh, is that so, Mr. 'I-always-think-of-everything'?" Missy mocked and playfully crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Have you already planned where you would live in California?"

"As a matter of fact, I have." Sheldon boasted, encircling Amy's waist with his arm to pull her closer.

"Really?" Amy asked in surprise and dreamily looked up to her fiancé.

"Yes. I've had my eye on an apartment on the fourth floor that is fairly close to the CalTech University." Sheldon told her. "I got into a heated fight about the residence with another physicist who will also start working at CalTech."

"Oh." Amy voiced. "How did you come to an agreement?"

"Pff…" Sheldon waved his hand. "He turned out to be one of those sentimental, lovesick fools. As soon as I mentioned to him that I was planning to propose to my girlfriend and move into the apartment with her, he backed down and settled for moving into the apartment above. It was an easy defeat."

Missy noticed how Sheldon smiled down at Amy, looking very much like a sentimental, lovesick fool himself. "It's a good thing that you stand above such things." She grinned at the couple; the sarcasm dripping from her tongue.

Only Amy noticed it and she winked secretively at Missy.

"It is indeed." Sheldon replied obliviously. Kissing the top of Amy's head, he added, "As long as this other physicist isn't one of those Californian weirdos who likes cross-dressing and putting on loud, clacking women shoes… I think you and I will feel quite at home at apartment 4A of 2311 Los Robles Avenue."

Amy smiled contently at Sheldon. "I can't wait for our new life to begin."