Archive of Our Own ^beta

[CLICK]

Martin:     Are you breaking up with me?

Jonathan: No! I mean, kind of? I’m just trying to-

Martin:     Break up with me, here, in the middle of the apocalypse. I mean, sure, it’s not like this can get any worse.

Jonathan: Martin, please. I’m trying to- let me get my head straight

Martin:     Fine. But we are talking about this. [AWKWARD PAUSE]

Jonathan: So I’ve been thinking about what Jared Hopworth said. About us being boyfriends-

Martin:     Well, technically it was you who said that-

Jonathan: Martin!

Martin:     Alright! Yes, carry on.

Jonathan: So I realised I don’t like the...implications behind boyfriend or girlfriend.

Martin:     ...the...implications?

Jonathan: I don’t want… The expectation of sex is, well, there.

Martin:     I don’t expect sex from you, Jon. I don’t even want it if that makes you uncomfortable. I just want to be with you even if the only time I can do that is during a fucking apocalypse.

Jonathan: That’s what I want as well! You are my reason, Martin. You are the reason I’m doing this, you’re the reason I’m not… I’ve just been thinking about it and I find boyfriend...uncomfortable.

[MARTIN MAKES A STRESSED SOUND]

Martin:     Okay. I’m your reason. So now explain the part where you’re not breaking up with me.

Jonathan: Well, I was doing some reading-

Martin:     Is that what we’re calling it?

Jonathan: Fine. I was doing some Knowing and I found a term. [pause]

Martin:     Yes?

Jonathan: Tell me if you… I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.

Martin:     For goodness’ sake, Jon. What?!

Jonathan: Right. So. There’s a thing called a queer platonic relationship where two people are committed to each other and want to be together but not dating per se and something about it makes me really… I don’t know. I just like the concept.

Martin:     A queer platonic relationship?

Jonathan: Or QPR for short. We’d be queer platonic partners. You’d be my QPP.

Martin: Can I think about it for a moment?

Jonathan: Of course. Take all the time you need. An uncountable amount if you want.

Martin: Not funny.

[TRUDGING SOUNDS]

Martin: (musing) QPP, I think I’d like that.

Jonathan: You would?

Martin: Yeah, I do wanna be with you but I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable. If a QPR is the kind of relationship you want, and it’s something that you still think of as meaningful-

Jonathan: I do.

Martin: -then that sounds good.

Jonathan: Thank you, Martin. I know it’s not much but I’m glad I’m getting to spend the apocalypse with you.

Martin: I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.

Jonathan: Hm. I suppose not.

[MORE TRUDGING SOUNDS]

[CLICK]