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Andrew calls Neil a pipe dream but sometimes it's Neil who can't believe Andrew is real. He was never supposed to have this, runaways know better than to fall in love. sometimes Neil wakes up frozen in fear that he's finally woken up from a cruel dream, that Andrew and the foxes don't exist, that he's actually alone in an abandoned house, untethered. On these days he walks around like a ghost, afraid of trying to touch something only to have his hand pass right through it, shying away from Andrew, not wanting him to be exposed as a hallucination too.
Andrew gives him space. But when night falls again, he holds Neil tight enough to hurt and talks for hours. About Kevin's rant of the day. A cat video. How he loves seeing Neil's eyes in the sun and hearing his voice first thing in the morning. How this is real this is real this is real.
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- Andrew and Neil decide to fix up the broken down treehouse in the backyard of their house.
- They powerwash the whole thing, sand down any splinters, fix the crumbling ladder.
- They fill it with squishy flooring, pillows, blankets, string lights.
- Of course, it's stocked with snacks and exy magazines and a speaker.
- It sort of becomes their new roof, except a whole lot comfier.
- They spend hours in it, not smoking anymore (bc they quit that!!), but still basking in each other's presence, talking about mundane things just because they can.
- When one of them has a nightmare, the other usually follows them to the treehouse.
- They lie down, stare at the stars through the skylight, sometimes touching sometimes not.
- Music plays softly from the speaker, and they drift off knowing that they're safe in the little house they built together.
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- Thinking about Neil in glasses and how he probably never went to an eye doctor in his life until Andrew dragged him to one after he found Neil squinting at his calculus textbook.
- Neil is shook everytime he realizes things could've been so much clearer, and that seeing didn't have to be as hard as it used to.
- When he sees Andrew for the first time with the glasses, Neil doesn't stop staring for a full hour, tracing every line of Andrew's face as if he's trying to learn them all again.
- Andrew stares back, unable to look away from his cute lil glasses-wearing bf
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- When Andrew graduates and he and Neil do long distance, they try to call as much as possible.
- But it’s hard — time zones, schedules — it’s never as often as they want.
- After yet another missed call, Andrew mutters “I miss your stupid voice, Neil” to voicemail and hangs up.
- The next morning he wakes up to ten messages from Neil, and they’re all voice memos.
- Andrew plays them as he gets ready for his day. Neil is just... talking. About his day, practice, a math problem.
- And it’s almost like he’s there. They don’t discuss it, but it becomes a thing.
- Every couple hours if they haven’t called, Neil will just send a bunch of voice memos talking about nothing.
- Andrew listens to them everywhere, saving every one.
- He doesn’t send ones himself very often, but when Neil’s having a rough time he’ll send one of him just breathing.
- When Andrew has a nightmare and doesn’t want to wake Neil up, he’ll plug his phone into his car speaker and drive around in the night, Neil’s voice filling the empty space around him.
- It’s never as good as Neil being there, but it comes pretty close.
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- When they finally move into an apartment together, Andrew and Neil leave the walls bare.
- Home decor doesn't mean much to two people who have never had a true permanent space to call theirs (until now).
- Most of the walls in their apartment get cluttered up by furniture anyway, but there's one large wall in their living room that remains starkly empty.
- And it remains that way until suddenly it's off-season and after the bit of traveling they'd planned, they find themselves bored out of their minds and quickly running out of things to do.
- On a particularly dull afternoon, Neil says "we should paint that wall," eyeing it speculatively. Andrew shrugs.
- After checking that their landlord wouldn't care as long as they paint back over it if they move out, they buy some paint and stand uncertainly in front of the wall.
- After about an hour of fretting over what to paint, Andrew huffs and slaps a big stripe of green on it.
- At Neil's gasp he says "it's just paint."
- And then it's so easy all of a sudden.
- The wall is ugly as fuck once they're done with it, an unpleasant swirl of mismatched colors.
- But it was theirs, and yeah, it was just paint.
- They repaint the wall a lot.
- They get better about the colors, they bring in stencils.
- Andrew learns to paint animals, and for a few weeks the wall is littered with little painted foxes.
- One time after a silly fight about Neil spraining his wrist, Andrew comes home to a huge "IM SORRY", Neil grinning, paint all over him, left wrist still in a splint.
- When they can't sleep, they silently throw paint at the wall in the middle of the night till they can't anymore.
- They paint over the wall one last time when they decide to move into a house of their own.
- They leave a blank slate for whoever comes next, and go off to paint every surface of their new home.

ThoughtaThought on Chapter 1 Tue 21 Sep 2021 03:49PM UTC
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teardrops_in_bottles on Chapter 2 Fri 18 Sep 2020 10:03PM UTC
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criswisstuf on Chapter 2 Wed 14 Oct 2020 03:32AM UTC
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ThoughtaThought on Chapter 2 Tue 21 Sep 2021 03:49PM UTC
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thecompletebookworm on Chapter 3 Fri 18 Sep 2020 09:16AM UTC
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manya21 (melopeya) on Chapter 3 Fri 18 Sep 2020 05:57PM UTC
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ThoughtaThought on Chapter 3 Tue 21 Sep 2021 03:50PM UTC
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thecompletebookworm on Chapter 4 Fri 18 Sep 2020 09:17AM UTC
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manya21 (melopeya) on Chapter 4 Fri 18 Sep 2020 06:00PM UTC
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ThoughtaThought on Chapter 4 Tue 21 Sep 2021 04:00PM UTC
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ThoughtaThought on Chapter 5 Tue 21 Sep 2021 04:32PM UTC
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feedmebluefood on Chapter 5 Sat 01 Apr 2023 01:04PM UTC
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