Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Breathe.

    “I’m not going to the upper levels,” the words spilled out of her mouth before she could stop them. Wide eyes stared at her from all around the room. She managed to count three breaths before the inevitable outburst.

“What?!” Grady shouted. He’s not angry at you , she reminded herself,  just surprised .

“Are you kidding?” Fitz whispered in confusion.

“You have to go to the upper levels. How else do you think you’ll become a part of society?” Alden said in his perfect no-need-to-worry voice that just made her want to smack him more.

“Sweetie I know it’ll be new and it’s normal to be scared-” Edaline started before she cut her off.

“I’m not scared okay? I don’t give a damn about being a part of society, and no I’m not kidding. This is my decision,” Sophie snapped. She was so done with this, with the stares, the names, being “Sophie Foster” and “human-raised”, a “war-hero;” she just wanted to be no one again. Maybe that made her a coward, but that’s who she was.

“Sophie, you’re not making sense,” Alden said, shaking his head, smiling that horrible venom-filled smile that barely contained the storm. Ever since she’d learned what Alden had done to his family she’d hated him almost as much as the Neverseen. Because he and Cassius were the same, but only one paid for it.

“Did I not speak clearly enough for you?” she asked, letting the hatred seep through her words and relished in the surprise on his face. “I am not going to the upper levels. I am not staying here either. Here I’m always going to be Sophie: the Moonlark, the leader of Team Valiant, the war hero. That’ll always be me. Here I’ll be stuck picking up the council’s mess for my entire life and I wanna be a kid still.” 

“So what do you plan on doing?” Biana spoke up after a silence.

Breathe. “I’m going to go back to the Forbidden Cities, I’m gonna go back home.”

The uproar came back twice as loud as before. She was hit with hundreds of “no”s and “you can’t”s and the occasional “that’s illegal” but in between it all she locked eyes with Fitz. They didn’t need to be Cognates to understand what the other was thinking. She held his gaze and didn’t back down, this was her decision. Fitz smiled a bit at her stubbornness and nodded slightly. There wasn’t any danger from him, no “You can’t do this!” Nothing that the boy she used to know would do. 

He’s different now,  Sophie realized, how had she missed it? 

Her eyes drifted to Biana who was staring at the middle of the room with a blank expression. It was like she wasn’t there, lost somewhere in an ocean of thought. Finally, she looked up, “It’s your decision Fos-boss.”

A hundred times before those words had been directed at her. When deciding the fate of the world she was always plagued by uncertainty. But for once, it felt right; she was going home. Alden and her parents would say no as many times as they could to make her stay, and Fitz and Biana would try at some point, but one way or another she was leaving. She’d be back eventually, but for a while, she wouldn’t have to be Sophie Foster. 

The next night they had gathered everyone. Well, not everyone, just the people she cared about. Della and Livvy stood off to the side and Sophie smiled at their intertwined fingers. Maybe, just maybe they would be fine without her. Keefe stood quietly, his face blank, and it made her rethink everything. But Linh placed a steady hand on her shoulder and she was back. Stay focused, don’t lose it, Sophie told herself sternly.

Grady and Edaline watched her, and she wondered how the house would feel without her. She took a breath and turned to Dex. He, out of all of them, wasn’t quite ready for her to leave.

“I can’t make you stay, can I?” Dex asked. His voice wavered slightly and there were tears in his eyes. There were tears in all their eyes.

Sophie shook her head slowly, “Not this time.” Everything was in place, all she had to do was just leave. That was the hardest part. To make it real.

“C’mon Soph, we did it; it’s over,” his eyes pleaded with her. “Let me come with you.”

They had all tried this. In different manors, in different ways, except for Linh. All she did was wrap her arms tightly around her and squeeze like she would never let go. Some part of her, buried under many many layers of protection, knew that if Linh tried she could make her stay. “That’s the problem Dex,” she had said this so many times before, “We are always going to be fixing things and we’re always going to be fighting, and I am always going to be Sophie Foster the human. I just want to be normal, for a few decades that’s all. I’ll be back soon, just make sure to keep these idiots in check while I’m gone alright? I gotta do this alone.” Her voice caught on the last word as it dawned on her that it might be the last thing she would say to them for a long time.

Dex wrapped his arms around her and squeezed, picking her up slightly. “I’ll miss you dumbass.”

She nodded mutely into his shoulder, “Likewise asshole.” It’s time now . She stepped away, flash drive in hand, because if Dex couldn’t join her he would always help her. And she loved him for that.

She turned away from them. She dug her heels into the dirt and braced herself. 

Three. Linh’s hand left her shoulder and she could feel all their eyes on her.

Two. It wasn’t the first time she had done this. It was teleporting. It was in her bones, literally.

One. Dex sucked in a breath in sync with her. The feeling of the tension running through her, becoming her, was intoxicating.

Zero. There’s no looking back now . And she ran. Her feet pounded the ground, her heart seemed to get faster with every stride. Dirt bounced with every thud of her shoes and she was free. And she jumped. 

Falling. Floating. Landing.

The stale, polluted, stiff air greeted Sophie on the other side and she had never been more relieved to step into a broken world. Her broken home. From now on, she’d be Amilia Ruewen and that was okay.

“The hell you doing here kid?” an old woman stared her down from behind the counter. She had wrinkles; on her face, on her apron, on her surprisingly steady hands that held an outrageous stack of plates. 

“Uh,” Amilia said nervously, “I need a job.”

The woman’s dark eyes narrowed further, “And you came here.” It wasn’t a question.

“That I did,” she muttered, it took every bit of her not to yank out her eyelashes.

With a huff, the woman set down the plates and walked out from behind the counter to march up to her. Amilia swallowed hard as the woman grabbed her hands from her sides. Her stark white hands seemed too pale and clean in the older woman’s dark hands. Amilia felt like she was under a microscope, like this woman could see every bit about her life as she stared at her hands. 

“You’ve worked, you’ve fought,” she said quietly, and dragged her eyes up to hers. “If you can clean you’ve got a job.”

Something exploded inside her and couldn’t’ve been happier. But wait, “No cooking?” Amilia called out as the woman went behind the counter again.

She chuckled lightly, “Clean first, then we’ll see. Chop chop, it’s almost time for the rush and these tables still haven’t been washed.”

“I don’t even know your name ma’am!” Amilia realized suddenly.

“You want a name, new girl?” she said. fixing her with another hard stare, “It’s Mari, you’ve got a real name?”

Amilia closed her mouth tightly, “It depends on your definition of real.”

Mari let out a harsh laugh, “Less philosophy more cleaning.”

A smile tugged at her mouth as she caught the wet rag the woman tossed her.

By the end of the day, she had been introduced to the regulars as nothing more than “the new girl”. She had scrubbed the counters over and over and Mari still managed to look unimpressed. Her sweeping skills got corrected and she became more familiar with the crappy sink than she would’ve liked. If you turned the old fashion handle too far right, then the water was basically boiling. If it was too far to the left, you got ice. There was one temperature that was decent and it was not moved from that spot. Amilia had found that out the hard way.

When Mari flipped the paper and probably homemade sign from “open” to “closed”, she flopped down on one of the booths. She was tired and wiped, but it was good because she was happy. She couldn’t have done this in the Lost Cities. And she wouldn’t have done this in San Francisco. Because this was normal, and no one knew her name, and that was the opposite of everything she once was. 

“You going home yet kid?” Mari asked from the lightswitch. She hadn’t thought about that, where she’d stay for the night. The booths weren’t optimal but they would work. 

“Can I stay here for the night?”

“In these shitty booths? Not happening,” Mari responded, shaking her head lightly. Amilia’s heart fell to her stomach and Mari sighed at her probably pitiful expression, “You really don’t have a place to stay?”

Amilia shook her head. “Fine, come on. You can borrow my couch for the night.”

The night turned into two, to a week, to a month and eventually Mari stopped asking about her family. 

“We’ve all got secrets,” she’d say, and Sophie wondered what her secrets were. Mari stopped asking about where she was going too. 

“This is a pit stop town,” she said one night while they put away dishes. 

“It wasn’t for you.”

“It’s where you find yourself when you’re young and get pulled back into when you’re old and broke.”

“Maybe I’m finding myself,” Amilia said only to get a hum in response. 

The words that Mari had said when she first met her came to Amilia often. Could she really tell what she had gone through? Or was it some weird old lady thing she did to freak her out?

There was one night where the nightmares came back worse than ever. She woke with sweat soaking her shirt and barely breathing. There was soft clinking in the kitchen that sounded too much like throwing stars. She remembered how they felt in her hands, drawing her own blood as she cleaned them. The sweet release as they left her hand to make a soft thunk in her target. How the rush it gave Sophie was always followed by a thick sense of dread. Because if it made her excited, how far away was she from the monsters she fought?

“I thought it’d be a rough night,” Mari said leaning on the doorway. 

“How did you know?”

“You’ve fought wars, those don’t go away easy. Come, I brought sugar, thought you would need it.” 

So she stumbled her way into the kitchen, tired and trying as hard as she could to keep her tears in. Mari had pancakes and shakes and had brought them out to the front porch. The best thing about this place was you could see every star in the sky. 

“How could you tell I’ve fought?” Sophie asked. The shake was shockingly cold against her hands and she tried to stop the shiver that ran through her. Mari rocked back quietly like they had all the time in the world to watch the stars move. 

“You have the look in your eyes.”

“But you looked at my hands, why?” Somehow, the shake tasted like mallowmelt. The kind that Edaline would make on bad nights before tucking her into bed. 

“Because your hands have been everywhere, they can tell stories if you let them.”

She decided not to ask any more questions, every answer would just be more confusing than the last. “And because they look like mine,” Mari finally said quietly.

“Oh.”

Mari didn’t look at her while she talked, “I saw a kid, who looked lost as hell with no immediate future, who had the hands of a fighter and eyes that held secrets. I thought I could do right by her.”

“I think you did,” Sophie said. For real this time, she wasn’t Amilia, she wasn’t trying to be her sister, for this night under the stars, she could be Sophie.

Over the year Amilia sometimes forgot about the demons that haunted her. Her past life- lives . They were not her anymore. Days and hours where nothing other than the simple act of flipping pancakes and washing tables were her only thoughts. The town was small and out of the way. No glittery castles and fancy houses. Only small farms, sketchy strip malls, and home . There was only one hint that she wasn’t human, the small leaping crystal around her neck. 

“For emergencies,” Biana had said placing it gently around her neck.

“And when you’re ready to come back home,” Fitz had whispered against the top of Sophie’s head.

So it stayed around Amilia’s neck, night and day; a reminder that she never had and never would belong. But she wanted to; she craved it. And Mari made her feel somewhat normal.

She wanted something human. Something reckless and young, that was the human she wanted. Sitting at her computer at the table in Mari’s old yellow motorhome that had housed her, she found herself looking at colleges. When she was younger “college” was an expectation, perfect grades, perfect words, perfect scores. Sophie didn’t get to decide her future. To put it simply, it was never an option, her years were already filled with other’s ideas. But as Amilia clicked the tab for courses she realized that for once she controlled her next small forever. And in her next small forever she could just maybe belong.

Tables had been washed, the sun had gone down, and she had flipped the frayed sign. She had thought about it all day, the college she chose was far away and she didn’t know how to tell Mari this. The woman had become much closer to her than she thought she would. So as she grabbed her small packed duffle bag and held the door handle she tried to ignore the sharp pain that hit her chest. It only got worse as a soft voice came down the hall.

“Amilia?” Angie, Mari’s “friend”, whispered down the hall.

“Go back to bed, I’m just grabbing some things,” she said, wincing at how well she lied.

“That duffle says otherwise young lady,” Mari appeared seemingly out of thin air. Sophie knew this wasn’t going to end well, the feeling cemented itself as anger flared white hot in her stomach.

“‘Young lady’? Sorry did ‘kid’ just get thrown out the window? What are you now, my mom?” she snapped. 

Mari gapped at her for a second, “Oh I’m sorry, right now I guess I’m more of your mom than whoever had you and left you on your own!” 

“You don’t know nothing about them!” Sophie shouted. She didn’t mean too and she hated the way Mari flinched. But Sophie had pushed them away and that wasn’t their fault.

“The hell is this all about Amilia? You wanna go, go. J ust don’t be a coward and leave without a goodbye.”

The tears fell fast down her face, because it was all too familiar. And she had never wanted to leave Mari like that. But she was angry, and that never ended well. “Fine, you want a goodbye? Goodbye.”

The door slammed hard behind her, and the rain soaked Sophie’s jacket mixing with her tears. It felt like a crappy hallmark movie from the early 2000s, but she was too angry to care; About the rain, about how muddy her shoes were, or how she didn’t really know where she was going.

The next morning she regretted everything. But by then that bridge was ashes in a stormy ocean; there was no going back. She moved forward because she had to.

Chapter Text

A month and an accepted roommate later, she got to remember she was Sophie for a minute. Sophie before everything happened. She saw her sister for the first time since their parents were kidnapped and it knocked the breath out of her. Short, bright pink hair blowing around her set face, Amy’s wide eyes stared up at the apartment complex. 

The stairs passed in a blur as Sophie barreled down them almost tripping over her feet on the way down. Amy, her  Amy. “Amy!” she yelled barreling into her sister. A moment too late she thought it would be extremely awkward if it wasn’t Amy.

But it was, and she hugged her tighter than ever. Sophie buried her head in Amy’s short hair taking in the comfort of her sister. “You smell weird,” she whispered.

“Missed you too, sis,” Amy chuckled lightly. 

“Dyed your hair and got glasses?” Sophie said, pulling away and holding her at arm's length. 

“Sorry, are we not going to address the fact that you’re passing as human? Under my original name?” Amy asked.

“Uh yeah guess I’ve got a bit of explaining to do.” Sophie rubbed the back of her neck.

“Oh yeah, but over coffee, because I was not ready to see my sister for the first time in over ten years,” she laughed, “And I need a lot more energy cause we have a lot of talking to do.”

So they talked and talked until the sun set behind the skyline and the street lights flickered on empty roadways. They talked until they were out of coffee to drink and snacks to eat and stars to count. 

Sophie could barely pay attention to the first day of classes. Every flash of strawberry blonde and soft eyes sent her back. Back to bright mornings and weird lockers and one on one classes. But not only that; it sent her back to her friends. Dex appeared in the ramblings of Jena, one of Amy’s many friends who could talk for hours about chemicals and science. He clouded her memory when she walked into Chemistry and it threw her back to his laboratory. She thought of him looking at the skinny, freckled covered kid that hung onto her Quantum Theory teacher’s every word. 

When she walked into the library, three days in, and saw the spiraling stacks she remembered Fitz and how he could get lost in a book and never leave the pages. 

Marella could be found in the rare smiles that were Anaz. How sarcastic comments came to her with ease and there was always gossip flooding the halls. 

In her English teacher’s humor, she found Keefe. How she collected pens just because they were there and how doodles filled Amy’s margins. 

Red became her color. In the morning when she didn’t know what to wear Biana flooded her mind. When she didn’t know how to hide her scars she thought of her. Sophie would wear them as a testament to the people she left behind. And when her eyes caught sight of the scars that littered another student’s body, clear on their dark skin, she stood a little taller. They were a testament to survival.

Tam, she remembered when the world was so /loud/. How he was able to control his impulses, his power, his shadows like her telepathy. When she just wanted to hide from it all she remembered him, and kept going.

And the one that came as a surprise to her was Stina. The cold exterior and the sense of superiority that followed Henry, who locked so much of him away in a tiny box, to hide from the rest of the world. And how when you really got to know them there wasn’t a small corner that was as cold as it seemed.

But the one that never really went away was Linh. It didn’t surprise her. No, she knew she would never really get Linh out of her head. So Sophie accepted the small tug that came with seeing people together. As they laughed and smiled and hugged, as two girls held hands firmly; she wondered if that could’ve ever been them. If their broken world would’ve allowed it.

When she thought of them, her hand found her neck and the crystal and she held on tight only to let go. Because that was no longer her, and those people were no longer her’s. Amilia Ruewen did not know them. The crystal was all she had left of them.

And at some point that would have to be okay.

“You’re coming to this club with the group tonight,” Amy grinned. Ugh , a night with Amy’s friends? Sounded like torture. 

“Why?” Sophie asked. In her head and in her apartment, they were Sophie and Amy. To the world, their jobs, their school, their friends, they were Amilia and Natalie. 

She didn’t have work until Saturday and she had already finished her homework and Amy knew this. There wasn’t a way she wasn’t going. Amy looked up and smiled all teeth, all eyes. Someone save me , Sophie thought.

Spoiler: it went a lot worse than she expected.

There was a feeling that Sophie knew well. It was why she was here in the first place. The feeling started in her wrists, where she had been bound countless times. It spread up and down to the edges of her fingers which had caused so much pain. The fingers that held weapons and the hands that held both the blood of her enemies and friends. It filled her shoulders with tension and her legs with a need to run. But she couldn’t. She was surrounded by bodies, moving, dancing, controlled by the beat of the drums that shook her core like a war cry. That’s ‘cause it was a war cry. The bodies dropped around her. The image of her friends, the small family she had made, half-dead and filling up every bed in the Healing Center. She had run away from them. That was what she alone had done. Sophie ran from the dangers and the responsibility.

Coward .

“Breathe,” an order. In. Out. One. Two. Three.

“Sophie? Soybean?” Amy’s voice. Amy’s hands on her shoulders. “Hey, hey,” her fingers cradled her jaw. “You’re right here, I got you, you’re okay. We won, it’s over .”

But it wasn’t. At night the demons came back to haunt her. And she would be running from them for the rest of her life.

Sophie had told herself when she left the Lost Cities she wasn’t following orders anymore. Little notes and anonymous gifts were things of the past. She told herself this as she took a picture of her shifts for the next week. They flowed through her mind as she wrote notes for a lecture. Words scribbled on papers and typed on documents controlled her whether she wanted them to or not. They set the path and all she had to do was follow it.

This time it wasn’t directed at her. 

“Hey Soph, you got anyone who would send you mail?” Amy called from the hallway.

“Nope!” She had barely even heard what Amy had said, too absorbed by homework.

“Huh, okay.” 

“You sure it’s not for you? It’s from that town like an hour north of campus,” Amy asked a minute later, shoving the envelope in front of her computer. “Get out of your nerd stuff and look at important things.”

Sophie made a noise but took the envelope, “My nerd stuff is important!”

Amy chuckled lightly, “Sure dear, you’re almost as bad as Jena.”

“My lord Amy it has your name on it,” Sophie shook her head, “And Jena is really smart and, unlike you, actually capable of holding an intellectual conversation!”

“Huh, guess I’m blind.” Rolling her eyes, she went back to her homework as Amy tore open the letter. Where was she? Oh yeah-

“Do you know about that road house right outside of town?” 

“Amy I swear if you interrupt me one more time-”

Amy ignored her, “It’s a coupon to there. We could take the gang this weekend.”

“Yeah sure, totally, now just let me finish my homework,” Sophie said, not realizing that she could’ve just agreed to anything.

“Nat you can drink?” Amilia asked. It was a running gag.

“Oh shush, I’m not eleven anymore!” Natalie retorted. And she wasn’t eleven, she was twenty-three and Amilia had to remind herself of that often. 

The roadhouse was dark, full of wooden booths. In the corner there was a pool table surrounded by a group of guys. Amilia sat at a table with three of Nat’s friends, her friends , she reminded herself. Thunk! The sound of darts reminded her of throwing stars. Shaking her head slightly she tried not to think about all she had left behind. Amilia , she thought, but it echoed outside her head.

“Amilia!” Tina called, waving her hand in front of her. 

“Sorry, what?” she asked. Get out of your head , she told herself sternly.

They all chuckled quietly and tampered off into their different conversations. It was a nice normal, zoning in and out, the words just soft buzzing. She traced the rough wood of the roadhouse with her eyes. The chipped, frayed edges. Dark, daunting, but cozy. The roof domed up to balconies with rooms for the inn part. Sophie didn’t know if anyone actually stayed there anymore. Posts came down into booths, to a karaoke machine in the corner, to the bar that stretched along the entire left side. There was a girl, flannel tight around her waist, short dark hair held up by various barrettes keeping the strands away from her face. The pen and cups flew through her hands with experience and it was mesmerizing to watch. Sophie couldn’t see her face, but there was a tugging feeling that the girl was familiar. From a past life,  she thought, and laughed. She had had many past lives. At this point she wouldn’t know which one the girl would’ve been from. If she would just look up , the urge to know who she was got stronger. She was someone to her someone important-

Crash . Her heart pounded, her ears rang. The shattering sound of glass was ironic because it played backwards in her ears. Shattered heart becoming whole.

Sophie, because to that face that was all she was. Her feet moved without her permission. 

Because this girl wasn’t just someone to her, she was everything to her.

She was the hardest to leave behind and the only one that could make her stay.

“I’m supposed to be bartending,” Linh whispered into her shoulder, “and your friends are looking at us.”

“Fuck off, I get the longest hug I want after not seeing you for a decade,” Sophie laughed stubbornly into her shoulder.

Linh turned her head into Sophie’s neck and hummed quietly, “I think that’s fair.”

For the first time she relaxed. The world fell off her shoulders and she realized this was the feeling she had been chasing. Linh smelled like cigar smoke and whiskey and cats (she made a mental note to ask about that later). But she knew, as she shifted closer, holding Linh as tight as she could, after all those years she would still smell like the ocean, she’d still smell like home.

The next morning she found herself passed out in a room that wasn’t her own. An old lamp sat on a wooden nightstand. Next to it, barely lit, was a piece of paper. In big bold letters it read: The Western RoadHouse . In scratchy handwriting there was a note. it filled the entire card,words running into each other. In her very tired state Sophie could barely decipher it.

Hey! Sorry I had to work early and you looked way too peaceful to wake up. How much of last night do you remember? We talked about how I got here, and how you got here. And, well, we talked for hours and did you know the more tired you are the pinker your ears get? And the easier it is the fluster you? You also get clingy and rub your eyes a lot. I ended up having to carry you up to my room and swear to Amy on everything that I had you would be okay. But I realized in that minute in a half of hauling your dead weight and listening to you murmur in your sleep that I had missed you. I ran away because I’ve always been running, but I don’t wanna run anymore. If you’d let me, I’d like to run to you instead. This is me asking if you’ll be my girlfriend, or just go out on a date if you didn’t get that. So yeah? Can I run to you?

For a moment she thought she was dreaming. Then she read it again and all she could do was laugh. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes she grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a simple message in neat, loopy handwriting.

Well then runaway,

    Come running.

She wrote her and Amy’s address at the bottom and slipped it into Linh’s bag on the nightstand on her way out. When Amy pulled up in the van she only raised an eyebrow.

“Did you win?” she asked, turning down the music slightly as Sophie closed the door.

She smiled, mouth crooked, eyes wrinkled, for once unguarded and wild. “Yeah, I think I did.” Shouts rang out from the back where her friends crowded together. They whooped and hollered and clapped her on the shoulder as Amy pulled the van out of the lot.

Chapter Text

Someone is planning something.

Chapter Text

There was a feeling of freedom that he used to feel every day. Tam missed that feeling as he dragged his sleepy body through the halls of Foxfire. He wanted to laugh. Why, in any world, was he here? He had been outlawed once before, seemingly too dangerous for them. And now here he was, spending day after day teaching children who didn’t understand how wrong their ways were; how to use the gifts they neglected for so long.

“Sir! Sir, is this how you do it?” a kid in the back asked as he floated a few inches in the air. He wobbled as he got higher and tilted from side to side trying not to lose his progress. Tam looked over in approval; he smiled a small smile, and the kid broke out in a grin.  

By the time the bell sounded with a shrill most of the kids had figured out how to float a few inches. Just a normal day , he thought as the next swarm of children came loudly into the clearing.

-

It had been a day since Sophie had gotten Linh’s number, and it had been five hours since the last time Linh texted her. She was using every bit of her self-control to not spam random comments about her classes that were so blatantly desperate cries for attention. Sophie wouldn’t be a clingy girlfriend. That wasn’t her personality. Right? 

She wasn’t able to resist the urges that pulled her eyes to her phone screen or the corner of her laptop, begging for a notification to pop up. Quantum Physics was the one class she could actually pay attention to, something she was interested in to get her mind off of the girl who was probably busy working. With many glares and smacks on the arm, Amy drilled it into her head that Linh was “just busy” and Sophie herself had “done nothing wrong.” Sophie doubted both of these but played along for her sister’s sanity. 

“What if her feelings have changed?” she asked at lunch, anxiously tapping her finger on the plastic table. Amy raised her eyebrow and looked seconds from dropping her head in her cheese fries.

“Then she’ll get the reward for the fastest change of heart, it’s been three days ,” she said and rolled her eyes.

“My relationship with Fitz lasted for like three weeks,” Sophie said matter-of-factly. It was roughly true; even with her perfect memory, days and nights back then ran together making exact times hard to determine.

“That doesn’t count, you guys weren’t technically dating,” Amy brushed off as she slurped the last of her shake. “Plus, she wrote you a note, that’s pretty serious.” Sophie shrugged and tried not to reach for her phone again.

-

“I miss running,” Linh said, staring at her plate. They had been eating dinner, some new recipe that Biana had introduced Linh too. It tasted a bit bland but Tam really couldn’t care about the taste;  he was too busy replaying Linh’s words. Running had been the worst years of his life. Trying to find places to stay, not knowing if he could find food, knowing that the next day would be even more brutal. “I know what you’re thinking,” Linh said with a sigh. He made a noise in response. 

“I don’t mean the life or death stuff, that was horrible. I mean like the times that we found that river? Or that field with hundreds of dragonflies! And when the gnomes taught us how to bake and how to make our own clothes! I miss that! I miss it being an adventure,” she said, longing clinging to her words.

He scoffed, “Only you would see it as an adventure.”

“It was more of one than Foxfire will ever be for us.” He couldn’t deny that. The kids didn’t quite need him, and honestly, he felt too young to be teaching them. Never going to the upper levels made his oldest class only a year younger than him, even if he was ages more mature.

Linh studied her plate. “We’re too young for this. For the war we’ve been through. To be teaching children how to fight because the leaders of our world are scared. We need time to grow up.”

That was when he finally got it. “This is about Sophie leaving.”

“It is not!” she shouted. He shook his head, getting up. 

“Look,” he said as he started stacking their plates. “I know you two had this weird suppressed emotions thingy that you never talked about, but seriously, it’s been a year since she left.”

 Linh sighed. “I miss her but I promise this isn’t about her. I just can’t seem to walk into those halls and teach those kids and not feel like an imposter. Maybe we just don’t belong here, and we’ve never tried belonging in the Forbidden Cities.” Linh was asking for a lot, but by the look on her face, she knew it. He understood what she was saying. He didn’t seem to fit in around the others, and that was okay. He wasn’t supposed to fit. But honestly, he hadn’t talked to the rest of the group in months, and his students were only there for past mistakes, past fears. Mistakes that weren’t his. What did he have to lose?

He stared her in the eye and nodded. “Okay.”

Packing was simple; he still had his old duffle. Dex gave them a harddrive identical to Sophie’s and stole a leaping crystal from the Council for them. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them,” he said with a wink. He was the only one they told; it was easier that way. That way once they were gone Dex could simply say they’d left and reassure everyone that they weren’t dead. 

The night they chose was cold, very cold. Snow fell around them in slow motion. It covered the hills, the house, the bushes, everything. The only thing colder than the snow was the icy determination on her face , but he knew underneath she was ecstatic. He reached into his pocket and grabbed the small crystal, Here we go , he thought. This was no time for going back, for second thoughts, for last-minute grabs. This was Tam, this was the way he made the decision to follow his sister because he didn’t have second thoughts when it was Linh. 

-

Linh picked her up from school, making her heart skip a beat and anxiety settle itself into a solid in her stomach. A huge grin, bright eyes, and a beanie holding her chaotic hair in place greeted her. The sun’s rays fell in her eyes as she jogged blindly to the dirty white truck. “Didn’t take you for the truck type,” Sophie remarked as she reached Linh.

“It’s actually Chris’s—my boss—he thought picking up my girlfriend was a valid enough reason to take the afternoon off and use his truck. Especially since I got Beth to take my shift,” she threw a smirk over her shoulder and crossed to the driver’s side. 

Sophie switched the music twelve times until Linh grabbed her hand to stop her. She focused on the warmth of the hand covering hers to distract herself from the thoughts in the back of her mind, questions that wouldn’t go away, but if she asked them they would sound ridiculous. Linh didn’t need to know about the crazy anxiety underneath. Not yet, not for a while, so Sophie focused on Linh’s hand, her callouses, the lines, her fingers laced between Sophie’s.

“So do I call you Amilia?” Linh asked through the crippling silence. 

That made her think. At home, she could be Sophie, and in her head, she was Sophie, sometimes to Amy she was Sophie. To the rest of the world she was Amilia, but maybe it would make sense for Linh to know her how she always had. Shaking her head she responded, “No, to you, I don’t think I’ll ever really be Amilia.” 

That was that, Linh only nodded and started dancing to the song that was playing. Sophie watched her and laughed, singing along in her own horrible voice, and forgetting about the emotions that had risen with her own words.

The afternoon carried on, window shopping and debating if frozen custard was better than ice cream. Half the time Sophie’s face was burning and her heart almost beat its way out of her chest every time Linh laughed. It was normal, completely and utterly normal. If it was a movie Sophie would’ve fallen asleep and Amy would’ve been acting like the action had only just begun. Part of her mind wanted to know if Amy had ever felt like this. Part of her wanted to know if the feeling ever went away.

-

“What is this place?” Tam asked her. There were hundreds of towering buildings staring down at them, watching. The glass, the lights, the cameras on street corners and shops; it was overwhelming. On the other hand, Linh looked completely in her element. She looked like herself for the first time. He still resisted the urge to put himself in front of her and this new world. This wasn’t his place, but it was Linh’s and because of that he would make it.

“It’s called Denver,” she responded, and there was a look in her eyes that Tam didn’t like.

He didn’t like any of this. “Come on dear brother, Dex gave us the address for a ‘hotel’ to stay in.” The look on her face suggested that there was more to do than just find the hotel.

They headed west, trying to tell the building apart from the others. Tower after tower went by and crowds of people trapped them. Swarmed on every side, talking, moving, crashing into one another. Colors, sounds, shapes, things he had never seen. It took everything in him not to jump every time a person bumped him, to not take a friendly smile as a threat. This, this is what he'll always remember of running. How when they got to the dwarven cities he clutched Linh's hand just to know she was still there. When their parents kicked them out and everyone they knew suddenly turned against them. He'll always remember the blood pounding in his ears, the buzz of his veins, the thoughts like arrows in his head. 

His throat went dry, and his voice broke when he spoke, "Linh, Linh I don't like this."

"Come on, it's not far!" She didn't even look back. So Tam kept going even as his mind began to scream danger and begged to turn back. She needs this, Tam thought. 

But why? a part of him asked, and he quickly tuned it out. He didn't have second thoughts with Linh.

-

They pulled into the apartment complex as the sun started to set below the city line. Sophie laughed when Linh ended up getting lost three times. She didn’t say that she knew it was on purpose. She didn’t say that she, too, wasn’t ready for the night to end. Only laughed and gave her the right directions again and again.

The big black numbers on the side of her building came into view and for a split second she thought about not pointing them out, but Linh had already seen them. The steering wheel turned too fast for Sophie’s liking as they pulled into a parking spot next to the stairs. Doors shut softly in the dark silence of the night, and the stairs seemed shorter than she remembered. She wished there was a way to slow down time to make this moment at her door last a bit longer just so she could look at Linh one more time. 

“So, I guess this is it,” Linh said softly, barely audible over the wind.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Sophie looked up at her eyes, they were bright in the dark of night. They glistened and held something behind them like she was waiting for permission. It gave Sophie a burst of confidence and she asked, “Or you could stay the night?”

Linh’s eyes widened and for a beautiful, heart-stopping second Sophie thought she would say yes. She laughed nervously and said, “I think that there’s an unspoken rule about not staying the night after a first date.”

Sophie opened her mouth to respond when the door swung open loudly behind her to reveal Amy in fuzzy socks and some form of mismatched pajamas. “Yes! There is! It’s called: Sibling Gossip Time so get-“ Amy said hurriedly and out of breath.

“Amy!” Sophie exclaimed, Amy only rolled her eyes. “I am so sorry about her, but yeah she’ll probably kill me if she doesn’t get an update. Tam would probably be worried if you didn't come home, I'd rather he not kill me." For a moment Sophie thought that Linh’s eyes widened in surprise, thrown off by the mention of Tam. She pushed the thought out of her head trying not to think what it meant.

With an easy smile, Linh pecked her on the cheek, momentarily freezing Sophie’s brain, and gave a small wave to Amy and made her way down the stairs. Sophie could only stare after, words in her throat but not getting any farther.

-

A month later, they had found a place to stay outside of hotels and motels. Tam was able to find a job at a grocery store while Linh worked afternoons at a restaurant down the street. The moon was high in the sky and Tam was finally falling asleep when Linh stumbled through the door. A small crashing sound followed the door closing. "Linh?" he called out hesitantly, "Are you okay?"

A ray of light revealed her disheveled face. Makeup ran down her cheeks and her hair was disheveled. "Clearly not," she said, a bite in her words.

"What happened to you?" he asked, throwing off the covers.

"Go back to bed."

Tam stared at her, eyebrows furrowed, eyes wide, "No I'm not leaving you alone."

"I’m telling you to leave me alone. I am *fine*."

"Did I do something?"

Linh groaned. “Well yeah, you weren’t supposed to see this.

“But I did, now what?”

Linh whirled on him, “Now, you stop asking questions and forget about it, got it? I don’t need your help.”

Her nostrils flared and she stared at him with a fury he’d seen before but always directed at other people; for once he was scared of his baby sister. He had so many more questions and concerns but he’d never seen her so angry before, so reckless. For once he was scared of what she’d do. “Okay,” he said simply. He wished he hadn’t.

- 

The moment the door closed Amy dragged her to the couch and forcibly sat Sophie down. “Tell me everything,” Amy said, eyes narrowing. 

“Well she picked me up from school,” Sophie started, trying not to laugh.

“Well yeah; I already knew that but it does give her some bonuses for being classic,” Amy nodded.

Sophie halted, staring at her sister quizzically. "I'm sorry are you testing my girlfriend?"

"Oh sweetie, what else did you expect me to do?"

"Be normal?" Sophie raised her eyebrow, but Amy only laughed. So, Sophie continued and recollected the night. Only a few times Amy butted in with comments.

When she finished Amy hesitated and asked, “Did you guys talk about Tam at all?” 

Startled, Sophie said, “No, why?”

A look crossed Amy’s face that she didn’t quite like, “I just think you should ask her about him.”

And that was that; Tam didn’t get brought up, and neither did Linh. Shoveling oven pizza in their mouths in between words, Amy hopped from topic to topic like their conversation never happened. Avoidance, Sophie knew the strategy all too well; she played along anyway. It was easier that way.

-

Linh wasn't talking to him. No matter how many times he tried, through notes, through shadows, through everything he could think of. She pretended he didn't exist, spending nights out more often or avoiding him completely when they ended up home together. Tam was lost. This was who they were, they didn't fight, they tried not to argue, and when they did Linh always came to him to talk it out. That's what he did. He waited for her to come to him. 

He took as many shifts as he could, some days he watched the sunrise and set through the dirty glass. He didn't talk to coworkers as much as they tried, he didn't need new attachments. It happened slowly, realizing that he didn't see Linh anymore. She was either out doing something when he got home or passed out on the couch. Tam didn't know how he could help if she wouldn't let him. 

The first thing he noticed was that she wasn't sleeping. At night he started to pretend to be asleep and see if she would get up. Every night, after thirty minutes of laying there, she'd get up and go out. She didn't sleep, the bags under her eyes grew. So did the hole in his stomach.

Then she stopped coming home at all. She'd leave a note saying she was gone, at this party or another, taking one more shift so they could pay for rent. There was always a reason. The only sign of his sister was the laundry basket that would sometimes appear by the door while he slept.

"Where's my work clothes dammit!" It was the first time she spoke to him in two weeks.

"What?" Tam asked the air, still bewildered by the fact that she was *talking*. 

"My work clothes! I've gotta take Wyatt's shift and mine tonight which means I'll be like the only person there and I need my work clothes! Wyatt's gonna kill me if I'm late I can’t be demoted- they were right here I swear!" she threw up her hands and paced. 

"Calm down calm down-"

"Don't you tell me to calm down-"

"Oh, I'm sorry the first time you've talked to me you're losing your shit over something simple-"

"Well I for one would like to pay for rent and I need my *freaking work clothes* to do it!" she glared at him with fury he hadn't seen before.

"Well if you actually talked to me you'd realize I got promoted so you don't need to worry about rent right now!" Tam yelled back, throwing his arms out. 

"I'm not talking to you? I never see you to talk to you anymore!"

"That’s because you're always out making some other mistake that I am not going to join in on!"

"This would've never happened if you just stayed HOME!" she yelled and her voice cracked a bit, "You were happy doing the same damn thing over and over again. You would've thrived there."

"You asked me to come, you asked me for Sophie, for adventure. I said yes because I didn't want to fix our world's problems but this isn't *better*," Tam’s eyebrows furrowed and his tone implored. 

"Yeah well, maybe you should just go home because clearly being here isn't doing anything for you. I should've never told you I was leaving, that was my only mistake," she said her voice calm. 

Somehow that hurt more than when she was yelling. Linh gave him a final, pitying look before she closed the door behind her with a final slam. 

The door closed, and he could hear her feet receding and he made his decision. He didn’t belong here, but maybe Linh did, and he had to trust she’d be okay without him. 

-

Laying alone in her bed Sophie studied the ceiling. Why hadn’t Linh talked about Tam? Or at least mentioned him? She tried not to think about it. It wasn’t her business anyway. Why would she hide it though? her brain asked. 

Sophie could think of a thousand reasons. 

But what if she doesn’t trust you?

Chilling air brushed against her toes and she pulled them back under the fluffy blanket and curled herself in a ball. The fan on the ceiling still made noise every time she turned it on, a soft, tick, tick, tick. The wind was loud. Her distrust was louder. It ticked through her thoughts as she drifted, still, she couldn’t shake the cold dread coming over her. 

-

Tam left. He cleaned up his stuff, washing his clothes in the meager washer and dryer and throwing them into a duffle bag. By the time the moon had risen he was all packed. He grabbed the elven crystal from under his pillow and held it up to the moon. With a flash, he was back in the clearing they had left in a half a year earlier. This time, Fitz was standing there, startled like a scared deer, staring at him like he had seen a ghost.

"Dex said you weren’t coming back," Fitz finally said barely above a whisper.

"Plans change," Tam said simply. "Where are you going?"

"Following your lead I guess, hoping I last a bit longer," he responded, staring at the crystal in his hand. There was a look in his eyes that Tam wanted to understand and in a split second of impulsiveness, he made a decision.

"Mind if I hitch a ride?" he asked, Fitz gave him a crooked smile.

"Thought you'd never ask." 

-

Finally, drifting off, Sophie’s mind was still on Linh, on Tam. Questions that she didn’t know how to ask. Without her control, her mind searched for them. That night, her dreams were filled with memories that were not hers.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

They had gotten off the bus at the last stop before Kull, stepping out into the cold air. Sophie glanced at the trees in the distance turning orange and yellow. Distantly, she remembered when she was younger this was her favorite season, how the leaves would fall and crunch at her feet, and how it was actually somewhat bearable to be outside. She smiled at the memory as she held Linh’s hand, walking quickly to the gas station, her stomach already grumbling.

“Linh?” a voice called from behind them as they stood in line. Linh swung around, trying to find the source of who called her, nearly startling Sophie into almost dropping her water. The mystery person stepped out from behind a small cluster of people with an overly energetic wave. “Linh! It is you!” he called.

Sophie watched as Linh’s eyes landed on the man and her whole expression shifted. As opposed to the man’s own happiness, Linh seemed to put a wall between her real emotions and the rest of the world, her face betraying nothing. “Hey, Sameul!” Linh said in pretend excitement; Sophie knew that her words carried an undertone of malice.

This Sameul was not the man Sophie had seen in the memories, but from Linh’s reaction, he seemed to probably be involved in whatever Linh was in.

“That’s me,” Sameul responded, clearly not getting Linh’s annoyance like Sophie was. “Geez, it’s been what, how many months since I last saw you?”

“Yeah it’s been a while,” Linh said, her shoulders rigid and her jaw set. Who the heck is this guy? she thought. Their name was called and Sameul followed them to go pick up their food. Sophie tried not to feel trapped with the way Linh’s eyes darted.

Sameul smiled ruefully, “Last time I saw you you had a little backpack and were running out the door in the middle of the night.” Linh took in a sharp breath and stuttering to a halt, her tray of food almost dropping. Sophie raised her eyebrows, more confused than ever. There was a beat then a sharp ring interrupted the weighted silence and Linh’s eyes widened with relief.

“Oh Sam, I’m sorry, that’s her sister calling. She’s really gotta take that. Why don’t you come with me?” Linh asked, more of a command than a suggestion. Reluctantly, Sophie pressed accept on her phone, ready to unleash the crazy whirlwind of shit that she had found out on one completely unprepared Amy. “What up checking in blame Tina she was worried,” Amy said, boredom concealing her concern.

“Uhuh sure Tina was worried,” Sophie chuckled. “Anyways, Linh is being super suspicious.”
Amy made a startled noise, “O-okay then so not well.”

Sophie nodded even though Amy couldn’t see her, “Yup, also uh side note, totally did not watch another one of her memories.”

“Sophie! It’s like you’re trying to do it on purpose!”

“It was an accident I swear!”

“Mhm, yeah, definitely.”

Sophie grumbled, “Oh screw off. Anyway, I was in this bathroom and her knuckles were all bloody like she had punched something. And then this guy came in and said that she wasn’t allowed to be reckless anymore, but from what I saw it was like she was living with some other runaway people I guess?”

Amy was silent for a moment. “Well damn.”

“Yeah,” Sophie agreed. “You shoulda seen her when this guy recognized her while we were getting food; she got like scary tense and for a moment I thought she was gonna water power him.” “Water power him? Really? That’s what you’re calling it?” Amy said. Sophie could practically hear her raising her eyebrow. “At that point just call it water bending.”

“I refuse to call it that.”

“How dare you; you’ve disrespected our childhood.” Sophie laughed. “But seriously,” Amy continued, and she knew she wasn’t going to like what she was going to say next, “Soph, what happened to telling her about the memories? Instead, you just spied more.” “She’s the one with the sketchy past!”

“That you don’t have any right to!”

“She’s been weird and I need to figure out why. Once I do I’ll tell her everything.”

“No, you don’t need to figure it out yourself! You need to talk to her and she will tell you if she’s ready to.” “Don’t tell me what to do Amy. She lied to me. The first night we were together we talked about how we got here and she lied to me like it never happened.”

“This isn’t war Sophie. Just because you’re scared, just because she lied doesn’t mean you get to invade her privacy. She’s not the enemy Sophie, she’s your girlfriend.”

Sophie hung up and her phone buzzed twice more while she watched Linh walk back over to her. This wasn’t Amy’s problem, this wasn’t Amy’s life, so screw her for trying to tell her what to do. She had the abilities and she was sure as hell going to use them. “Sam left,” Linh said with a clearly fake smile. “Said he should probably get back on the bus and didn’t want to intrude.”

At that Sophie raised an eyebrow, she didn’t need to use her telepathy to know it was a lie.

Stepping on the bus felt like placing the weight of the world on her shoulders. She knew that man was something to Linh, or Linh was something to him; maybe he was what Linh was running from. She didn’t have regrets when she reached carefully out to Sameul’s mind and glanced at what he said to Linh. Maybe she should’ve regretted it, but she couldn’t bring herself to. She needed to know, when she had left the Lost Cities it was her way of saying “I will not be lied to even if it seems better that way”. So much had been kept from her and here she was, getting things from the source instead of waiting for someone to tell her.

The words, “You haven’t changed Linh,” rang in her ears as she pulled back, not letting any emotions show on her face as Linh followed behind her. Linh didn’t say anything so Sophie didn’t say anything and they settled into a tense silence as the bus around them buzzed with noise. Sophie tried to think of something to say as the words played on repeat in her head but Linh beat her to it.

“You never told me much about Mari, about what she means to you,” Linh said. Each word seemed rehearsed as if she had said it in her head a thousand times before speaking the words into existence. “I didn’t know you cared,” Sophie responded quickly before she could think it through.

“Tell me about Mari?” Linh asked softly.

Despite what Sophie was hiding from Linh and what Linh was hiding from her, she couldn’t stop herself from talking. The words may have meant nothing as she rambled on about her life there, only meant to be a distraction, but she let them spill from her lips without hesitation. She talked of Tommy, Angie, and Mari, of her weekly game nights, of the regulars at the diner. The people she had come to love yet when the time came she didn’t hesitate to leave ‘cause she was scared. Scared of the permanence of it, scared she’d lose herself in the dream of it. And how when she burned those bridges all she felt was a gaping hole in herself. As she talked she thought of the people she had left in the Lost Cities; how she burned it all like she had when she was young and reckless and angry burning her mark, the moonlark, into the ground desperate to prove something, desperate to mean something. But now she was afraid of that, tearing everything to shreds, burning it to ashes because she didn’t know how to mean something to someone. She thought of what Amy had said and briefly wondered if she would ever be able to just talk about something instead of treating everything as a mystery she was destined to solve. Eventually, her words lulled Linh to sleep and she let out a soft sigh of contentment as she laid her head on Sophie’s shoulder. Sophie glanced at Linh, only allowing herself a quick look at her girlfriend’s soft and relaxed face before staring out the window watching the gravel pass, not allowing herself time for her guilt and sadness to rise. She wasn’t allowed those feelings. With every fiber of herself Sophie dreaded and couldn’t wait for the moment they stepped off of the bus into Kull, the town with as weird of a name as people.

An hour later, as the sun started to fall behind the trees and the sky began to turn dark, that moment came and Sophie found her entire body filled with anxiety. They made their way to the front, Sophie in front of Linh, her hand stretched behind her holding Linh’s hand like a lifeline.

They were the only ones getting off and within seconds they were left standing on the dirt road, the bus was long gone. The air was cold, and the wind blew lightly, tossing around Sophie’s ponytail. Neither spoke to the other, standing in silence, staring at the buildings in front of them. It felt like they’d break a spell if they moved, if they talked, so Sophie didn’t. But Linh did (a spell didn’t need to last an eternity in her mind, just for the moment that it was intended for). Linh squeezed Sophie’s hand three times, dragging her out of her haze to stare at Linh confused.

“It’s a human thing,” Linh said sheepishly. Distantly Sophie remembered Amy teaching her, three squeezes, “I love you”. Four squeezes back and Sophie had said, “I love you too.” She didn’t have time to think if it was a lie because with that she started walking, entirely on autopilot, the familiar route to Mari’s house ingrained in her mind. It was after hours, so there’d be no point going to the diner. So she dragged Linh down main street, taking a left about halfway down, and then it was another block til she found herself outside the door on the white porch of the bright mobile home with her whole body buzzing. It was almost too much to be there; staring at it again it was like nothing had changed. But something had, because she didn’t have a key, and so she knocked with all of the impulsive courage she had left.

Three rapid knocks.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five seconds.

The door opened with a creak.

It wasn’t Mari.

There was a man, about her height, hair pulled in a bun and silver bangs over glasses. He was familiar, why was he familiar? Linh drew in a harsh breath of air and squeezed Sophie’s hand as tight as she could. That was when the puzzle pieces fell into place. That’s when it all made sense. The man standing in front of her was someone she hadn’t seen in two years other than in the memories she had unrightfully stolen from him. The man standing in front of her, still with his signature silver, was Tam Song.

Amy’s phone buzzed next to her, pulling her away from rereading her homework question for the eight time. Ever since Sophie’s call and her following silence Amy couldn’t focus; she tried to distract herself, and pulled herself away from texting Linh and telling her everything Sophie had told her. It’s not my place, she would think. It’s not part of the plan. Her phone unlocked and she slowly processed the photo and message. It was a picture of Sophie leaning her back against the gas station with her hand holding her phone to her ear. It was just like her co-conspirators to be that dramatic they had to send a photo too.

-Operation Collect the Dumbasses-

Braincell Holder: You know we heard that call.
Pure of Heart Dumb of Ass: I thought we said that I would start this conversation?
No Thoughts Head Empty: Yeah well you took too long.
Braincell Holder: Not the Point.
The Mental Stability: And the Point?
This felt too pointed, Amy thought. Way too pointed and directed at her. Her phone buzzed again.
Braincell Holder: Having second thoughts?
Only slightly, Amy thought, but no no this needed to happen.
The Mental Stability: No
Pure of Heart Dumb of Ass: Thank the fucking ancients we can move on
No Thoughts Head Empty: We’ve got a Phase 3 to begin

Phase 3, which they already had planned, would be the hardest to set up. Everything had to be just the right timing and just the right place.

Incoming call from Braincell Holder

Amy smiled as she accepted the call and long red hair popped into the frame. “Where is she?” Amy asked.

The redhead grinned, “She’ll be here in a minute, you know how Mrs. Sparkly Justice is; she’s got meetings but she said she’s got a friend who wants to help.”

Amy smiled, their little band of conspirators and their plan was working better than she could’ve imagined.

“So,” Amy said, “Where do we start?”

Chapter Text

It had been three days since Dex told him Fitz left, three days since the pit in his stomach had started steadily growing. What hurt the most wasn’t Fitz actually leaving, it was the fact he told Dex instead of him. Some best friend, he thought.

Keefe sighed and sat on one of the cots in the Healing Center. Elwin’s office had become home after a year of working as his assistant. Days went by, mindless and boring; they rarely got kids. Tam and Linh’s class often had the most injuries, sending in at least a kid a day because some idiot decided to go against the rules. But they were gone now, and Alchemy instructors were finally being more careful, actually watching the kids when they had dangerous chemicals, but it left the Healing Center bare. Somedays, as he played yet another round of cards with Elwin, he wished that at least one kid would get hurt so he could do something. 

Elwin did his best trying to fill the silence, teaching him new things. But Keefe knew that worry that came off him in waves, that concern that never really left after his coma. It had gotten stronger after Fitz left, keeping a watchful eye on him. Searching for pain that was there but Keefe was just too good at hiding it. No matter how many times he told Keefe that he wasn’t Cassius, that he would always be there, the wall between Keefe’s emotions never came down. 

“We should go see the Celestial Festival,” Elwin said, startling Keefe. “It’s next week and we haven’t been out much. I do always love Orem’s lights.”

Keefe hummed in response.

“I think Biana plans on going; we talked about it the other day.” Oh. So that was Elwin’s plan. Make him talk to people again. What was the point of it? Pretend that half of their friends didn’t get the great idea to hightail it out of this hell hole to be normal people for once? To pretend that they actually knew what they were without a war to fight?

“I bet with a little persuasion you could get Dex and Marella to come,” Elwin continued. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Keefe whispered softly. Why did he agree? Keefe pretended he didn’t know, but deep down under things, he didn’t want to look at he knew he was lonely. That he missed his friends. So why not take advantage of the few who were left?

The festival lights were insane. He stood with Biana as the council stepped to the stage, her determination flew off her in waves and he marveled at how far she had come. The way she held herself, scars on full display, mouth set, she looked older than he was used to. But when she glanced at him, through the flashing lights, her eyes were playful and mysterious and Keefe almost let out a sigh of relief that she hadn’t completely left and grown-up without him too. 

Dex and Marella stood at his left, Dex holding some sort of snack over Marella’s hands as she lit a small fire, letting out a whoop when it just barely toasted. Keefe grinned with them, surprised at how far the two had come with their own fears of Marella’s fire. Biana tapped his arm, gesturing to a patch of grass a little ways from them and to the blanket in her hands. From there they had the perfect view of the light show, grinning ear to ear as they appeared in the sky. None of them talked of who they wished was there, and none mentioned the last time they’d watched the lights. They avoided topics flawlessly that they knew brought too much pain and weaved their way through, making their uneventful lives seem important. Honestly, the only semi-put-together person on that blanket was Biana; unlike the rest, she always knew what she was meant for, there was a fight in her that wouldn’t settle for anything less than a better world.

The rest of them were basically just melting mallowmelt. 

Eventually, Biana had to leave, and the others ended up back at Elwin’s with a unanimous vote of we’ve-got nothing-better-to-do. They raided the kitchen and grabbed whatever snacks they could find before climbing the stairs to the roof. 

They laid there for who knows how long, staring at the stars in silence. “What do you think the others are doing?” Dex asked into the dark. 

Keefe sighed. He honestly didn’t want to know but spoke anyway. “Probably doing taxes.”

“What the fuck are taxes?” Marella asked, propping herself up on her elbow. 

Keefe chuckled, “Horrid, horrid things.” They lapsed into silence again, the only sound being the scattered animals roaming Spendor Plains. Keefe always thought the name was stupid, but he’d given up on trying to get Elwin to change it a long time ago. 

“I want to go,” Marella declared. Keefe glanced at her, but she was staring at the sky; Dex had the same puzzled expression on his face. Finally, she continued, “I’ve got nothing other than people who don’t want me here.” Her tone sounded defeated and honestly, he agreed.

“I’ll drink to that,” Dex laughed, half-heartedly raising his cup of Lushberry juice to the air in a mock toast. After his new power surfaced people stopped believing he could control it. They avoided him on the streets, they hated the fact that he worked with Elwin. It didn’t matter that he had won a war for them, the fact that his mother had started it and had turned him into something dangerous was enough. He glanced at Marella and Dex, knowing they were thinking the same.

A few minutes passed when, “Then let's go.” It was Dex this time, he had sat up, the others following suit. “They hate that we’re here. That we saved them. They hate that Sophie and Fitz left, their Golden Heroes. We’re the screw-ups that are still here. Hell, look at us. The son of a bad match, a pyrokinetic, and a fucking mystery.” Keefe grunted, he’d been called worse. “We might as well find somewhere to belong.”

Keefe clapped sarcastically but he could already feel the addicting buzz of adrenaline in his veins. “Well said, fellow outcast,” he laughed. “But if we do this we’re not leaving quietly like the others.”

Marella nodded a grin taking over her face as she stood. “Buckle up boys, we’ve got one hell of an exit to plan.”

Around 1 am (Keefe thought it was one am, he didn’t actually know at that point), Elwin came out with a plate of snacks. Keefe didn’t have time to register what half of the things were when his attention was brought back to the sheet where he had sketched up the layout of a building—that Marella was marking exits on. Dex watched them, laying on his stomach with his chin resting on a pillow and messing with his device.

At some point they had moved inside, spreading along the couches, their ideas scattered in a chaotic order. Keefe didn’t quite remember when Elwin said he was going to bed, too wrapped up in whatever the others were saying to him. He glanced at the clock; its ticking hands read 4 am. He smiled around the room, Marella sprawled dead to the world asleep on one couch, Dex on the other sitting in a curled ball messing with something that Keefe couldn’t see. Right then, as he sat with his back against the wall and eyes drifting, Keefe couldn’t think of anyone else he’d want to leave with.

Keefe paced Elwin’s office like a mad man. He couldn’t sit still, not with the buzzing and churning in his gut. When Keefe would let out a heavy sigh Elwin would glance up smile lightly before going back to his work. 

“You know,” Elwin said softly, after Keefe’s fourth round of the Center, “I’m still not entirely sure what I’m going to do when you leave.” In surprise, Keefe looked up to find Elwin with watery eyes. Keefe halted and stared, shocked, to say the least. The realization of how much he meant to this man who had taken him in after everything he had done when his own father didn’t want him. He didn’t quite know what to say, he wasn’t used to this raw emotion that came off of Elwin in waves. Finally, Keefe’s face melted into a sad smile.

“You’ll be okay without me,” Keefe said, for once sincere. A beat of silence passed where Keefe could practically feel Elwin trying to think of something to say without crying. Without Keefe crying, cause Keefe really didn’t like crying. “Plus,” Keefe smiled to try and break the tension, “You and the other parents can have weekly get-togethers about how much you miss our annoying little faces!”

Elwin let out a harsh laugh, “Yeah I guess we can.” Suddenly Keefe found himself wrapped tightly in Elwin’s arms. It still took him a second to remind himself not to tense up, that it was Elwin’s way of saying “I love you.” He felt tears welling in his eyes from the thought that it was real, that he wouldn’t see Elwin for a long time. He buried his head in his father’s shoulder and fisted his hands in the back of Elwin’s shirt. 

“I’ll miss you,” Keefe said finally, willing his voice not to crack. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” Elwin reassured. “We’ll be okay. You need this, and when you’re ready you’ll come back home.”

Reluctantly, Keefe pulled away, “What happened to me reassuring you?”

Elwin laughed, “We both know I’m much better at the reassuring.”

He smiled at that. Yeah, maybe he’d miss this place, but he had a whole world to rediscover. A rustle of paper coming from under the door jostled him out of his thoughts. It was from Dex, his cue to get moving. In small words it read:

“headed to the meetup point, all devices ready on schedule - TM" 

Keefe grinned and turned to Elwin, "That’s my cue! See you tonight, Dad.” He let the title slip out, Keefe had never called him that before except in his head. Before he could see Elwin’s reaction he turned and was out the door. 

Weaving his way through the deserted corridors, he found his way out of Foxfire to the courtyard, running to the leap master and hastily yelling out for Marella’s house.

He arrived to find Marella already waiting for him outside, duffles around her. “You ready?”

With a nod, they grabbed the bags and headed to the leap master, places to be. A minute passed and all three of them, Dex, Keefe, and Marella, found each other standing outside Biana’s office door. Getting in was the easy part, since Biana was gone the house was empty. 

“You ready?” this time Dex asked, Keefe was confused about why, after the night they’d had and the plan they’d put together, they’d think to back out. “After this, there’s no turning back,” Dex said, eyes drifting to Keefe and Marella.

Marella grinned, all teeth. “Come on boys, we hit the point of no return the minute we decided to leave.” Promptly, she stuck her lock picks in the hole and twisted them around until they all heard a faint click. It was Keefe’s turn to grin as Marella swung the door open and marched her way in. He followed, placing the duffles in the center of the room, Dex came after him and whistled at the flamboyant decor. 

The far wall was almost entirely glass, sun streaming in and lighting the entire room. A desk sat with trinkets and papers scattered. The wall where they entered was covered in bookcases. There was a small nook that wasn’t covered in poorly organized books. A dark wood frame surrounded a drawing that Keefe had given her; it was of the entire crew, a sort of sequel to the one he had given to Sophie all that time ago. They had been laying in her room after the twins left, a week before Fitz would too, and they had both confessed that they missed them. Sophie, Tam, Linh, how rarely the entire team would get together because they had no reason to. No war to fight, no reason they’d need to get together. Keefe thought that growing up fighting a war made them all forget how to have a simple friendship. 

Before falling asleep that night he decided to draw something to remind Biana of them. He would never forget the way Biana’s entire face lit up when he handed the painting to her. He softly smiled at the memory.

“I found the crystal!” Dex called from the other side of the room, half stuck in a drawer. “Marella, are you almost done?”

Marella, who had one foot on the seating part of the chair and the other on the back, was trying to balance on two legs of it with one circular disk in her mouth and the other in her hand, trying to place it on the ceiling. “Well I would be if Keefe would get his butt over here and actually do something!” she grunted. Tried to at least, her words came out muffled and confusing, but Keefe got the idea quick enough to grab the chair before she fell. 

“Oh my god,” Dex muttered. “I’m going to be the one making sure you two dumbasses don’t die, aren’t I?” In unison, Marella and Keefe grinned at him and he groaned. With one last little hop Marella got the device on the ceiling and planted the other on the bookshelf. Keefe placed one under Biana’s desk, and next to the door on the wall. It all hit them at the same moment as Keefe armed the last disk, and Dex drew out the letter they had written up on the roof. 

“I think I’ll miss her,” Dex said finally; Marella nodded. And finally, it felt like a bright neon sign, right in front of him, blinking bright and loud, and somehow all along he had missed it. The only reason the three of them had stayed was Biana. Keefe, who knew her as his little sister. Marella who she knew as a friend that no matter what was there. And Dex, as the person who stuck by his side when Sophie left him and waited to return the favor. Maybe it was poetry, maybe Keefe was connecting dots that weren’t supposed to connect but it made him want to laugh. 

“Yeah, me too, but we’ll see her before we leave,” Keefe reminded him a bit forcefully. If he were in that office any longer, he’d convince himself to stay. Marella took the note from him to read over again before leaving it. “Let’s go, we’ve got four more places to hit.”

Keefe didn’t wait for an answer and ended up making it to the leap master before the others. It took a few minutes, but finally, they were all there calling out for Foxfire.

It was dark, everyone had gone. Keefe didn’t quite understand how time zones worked with jumping from Biana’s house, which the sun was just then setting, and Foxfire where it was already dark with the moon high. Granted, he didn’t really try.

Foxfire, being much bigger than Biana’s office, forced them to split up. Dex took the top levels, Keefe took the middle, and Marella the ground floor. Keefe slung his bag of disks over his shoulder and made his way through the classrooms. It was slow work, finding good spots to put them in each room and through the hallways, with the bag which felt like it held a bunch of rocks.

The job went by in about an hour, even though it felt much much longer, and he finally made his way back down to the courtyard. “What took you so long?” Marella laughed as he came out rubbing his sore shoulder. “Don’t forget we’ve got more to do!”

“Yeah yeah,”  he grumbled. “You guys done here yet?”

Dex poked his head out from behind one of the trees and said, “I’ve got two more left.“

Keefe could tell that the ones in his hands were the only ones he had left from how his bag looked much lighter. "So we can mark Foxfire off the list, ey?” Marella asked.

“Only three more places to hit,” Keefe grinned.

Dex rolled his eyes, “That’s not counting the spots inside those places. It’s much more than you think.”

Keefe just laughed in response; they were so close. To being free, to running away, the thing Keefe was so good at. Running, and well, making one hell of a lasting impression. That was really their plan. 

It was a short time till they found themselves in Atlantis weaving their way through the back allies to find the shed they had left the next batch of devices at. Dex reminded them, yet again because “everything has to be perfect”, that Marella was taking the treasury building—which sounded entirely boring, which was why Keefe had opted out. Keefe would be taking the various transportation locations, and Dex the business district (also boring). Their rendezvous would be the monument of Linh, Sophie, and himself when they had saved Atlantis. Keefe remembered making some horrible joke about the monument when it was built, something about how they didn’t get his hair in all of its glory, but then, after seeing it again, all he could think of was how much he regretted that his stupid crush had gotten in the way of actually being able to get to talk with Linh. He wondered how many of the others he’d neglected ‘cause of it; he wanted to groan at how stupid he was.

“You good there, Goldie?” Marella asked.

“Why am I Goldie? You’ve got blonde hair too." 

"Okay, yeah, but my hair is more pale than gold. And plus I deserve something much cooler than ‘Goldie’." 

Keefe shook his head, "Okay, Braids.”

Marella, who had started to walk off, threw a smile over her shoulder. “Could use some work!”

“I didn’t have enough time!”

“Excuses! I expect something better when I come back!”

“Oh, so I’m getting graded?” Keefe shouted, but she was gone and he was left standing alone. Slinging his bag over his shoulder he headed to the nearest light leaper. There were about five of them across the city that only lead to other light leapers inside Atlantis. He had five devices, the smaller ones that would reach only the light leaper itself and the edges of surrounding buildings. 

In total it only took him about twenty minutes to leap to each spot, find a hidden location to hide the device, arm them, and then leap away. Marella and Dex had more to cover than him so he found himself sitting at the edge of the fountain, fiddling with the KMD, as they had ended up calling them. Dex arrived first, grinning and clearly riding an adrenaline high, with Marella in tow. “All set?” Dex asked.

Keefe stood. “Yup just as you planned, Techmaster.”

“Wait, why does he get a cool name?” Marella gasped.

“I like him more,” Keefe deadpanned. Dex smiled and did his best to look innocent (which he was really good at for some reason) and Marella rolled her eyes.

“Don’t just stand around; we’ve got places to be!” Dex called, already headed for the whirlpool.

With a chuckle, he and Marella followed. Mysterium was next, in Keefe’s opinion the most boring of their stops but the way that Dex’s face lit up when he spotted Slurps and Burps whirling and glittering in the distance made it worth it. Dex beamed with something like pride and it was infectious. Keefe shook his head slightly, at how easy it was for him to grin, at Dex’s face that was entirely dorky, and at Marella who smiled somewhat mischievously as she placed her devices. It was quick and easy work placing the devices while Dex dropped off the letter—almost identical to the one they had left Biana—at Slurps and Burps. They waited as Dex made his way back to them and practically ran when they could see him. There wasn’t as much time left as they had hoped; the sun was supposed to rise in about two hours, leaving them barely enough time to cover all of Eternalia. Keefe reached the leaper expecting the others to be on his tail when he turned around, but they weren’t. 

His eyes scanned fervently and finally found Marella and Dex standing off to the side, staring back at the Slurps and Burps. Keefe wanted to laugh at the scene if it wasn’t so serious. Marella, stoney, sarcastic, quick-witted Marella, had her arm over Dex’s shoulders like she was pulling him in for a hug. Keefe raised an eyebrow at her when their eyes locked over Dex’s shoulder and her face turned hard. Speak of this and I will kill you, was the message Keefe read loud and clear.

After what seemed like ages, the pair made it to the leap master seemingly still emotionally intact and Dex with a new determined look in his eyes. As Keefe called out for Eternalia he couldn’t help but feel a new rush of adrenaline crash over him.

Now to tackle Eternalia it relied on many moving parts. Part I, the councillors homes. Each of them had two disks, set to cover a larger distance, and needed to place one in between every two towers. Keefe, along with his two devices, also was in charge of the KMD, which was to be placed on Alina’s tower. When they were still scheming Alina’s tower was the obvious choice of who they’d want to annoy the most. Alina’s surprisingly wasn’t the hardest to find, of course, being the most glittery and the most bright even in the dark. Just as he placed it he saw three flashes in the distance, Marella’s signal, marking her to finish first. Once the device was placed Keefe sprinted to his last spot when- CRASH!

He sprawled on the ground, head aching and pain shooting up his arms. Fuck, he thought eloquently. Curses slipped from his mouth as he tried to stand. He managed to pull himself to his knees to determine just how screwed he was. He had rough spots on his palms that were bound to bruise, a huge scrape down his arm, a busted lip from the way he could taste copper in his mouth, and from how much his head ached, he had probably cut his head too. His legs were probably worse; luckily, he couldn’t actually see the extent of his injuries because of his pants (and from the pain he could feel he honestly didn’t want to see it). 

He was fine. This was fine. He would just push past the pain and get himself through downtown than he could figure it out. It was just a fall. A fucking painful fall, his brain supplied unhelpfully. He saw three green flashes in the distance and cursed again. Dex was gone too.

He needed to get moving, and he needed to get moving fast. Keefe grunted, took a few breathes, and managed to get his feet. It was a bit harder to leap with an injury but he managed, and after placing his last device, he found himself in downtown. 

Dex saw him first, delight turned to concern turned to worry until he was rushing to him. “Why are you bleeding? Why are you beat up? I leave you alone for five freaking seconds-" 

"What happened?” Marella came up behind him with more annoyance than concern on her face.

“Well, I was going to explain to Gears over here-”

“Gears? Really?”

“-but I don’t think he knows how to keep quiet,” Keefe finished. 

“Start talking, now." 

Keefe sighed, "I fell.”

Marella stared at him, “You fell, and did this?”

“It was a very mean rock!”

“Oh, my Ancients-” Marella breathed clearly trying not to laugh.

“You’re benched. we’ve only got a few more left anyway,” Dex said, still eyeing his injuries. Keefe honestly didn’t have it in him to argue. Though it didn’t stop him from snatching the other KMD from the bag next to him and securing it to the ground with only a few winces. 

He watch as Dex and Marella placed the last couple of devices. They were clearly talking about something urgent, and from the way, Dex kept on glancing his way, it was probably about Keefe, but he wasn’t close enough to hear and honestly, it was getting on his nerves. What was so important they couldn’t tell it to his face? Probably something you won't like, Keefe thought. He wasn’t always the best at taking bad news, though he didn’t think he was as bad as Fitzy used to be.

“We’re gonna have to jump back to your house before we can set everything off,” Marella stated. 

Keefe balked. “We don’t have time for that!”

She threw up her hands, “Well you went and got yourself hurt and we don’t exactly have another choice.”

“I am fine,” Keefe said, trying to hide the wince that came.

Dex rolled his eyes, “It’s a short pit stop, come on. We’re all done here; a few minutes won’t hurt the schedule.”

Keefe wanted to argue that it would hurt the schedule because the schedule was flawless and nothing mattered more than the schedule. Unfortunately, he knew that neither of them would actually listen to him. 

Admittedly, when it was all done, getting Keefe patched up with the cloth they found and cleaning off the blood took a lot less time than he initially thought. They had found Elwin’s stash of pain killer serums and as soon as Keefe took them he ordered them to get moving. “We’ve got places to be and things to set off!”

“Lead the way, dude,” Dex huffed. After the war, Forkle had ended up showing the rest of the Black Swan members where his office was—with a heavy, heavy swear to never show the council where it was. The best part about Forkle retiring: they could use the dusty office as a great spot to see pranks. That was probably not Forkle’s intent but who could really stop them?

Stepping into the weird round office (what had Sophie said it resembled? A hobbit hole? Keefe put that on the list as a first order of business to figure out when they got to the Forbidden Cities), it was like nothing had changed. TV’s still lined the wall, and the desk in the center had scattered papers from who knows how long ago. From his memory, Sophie was the last person here, she had watched right before she left, she spent almost a whole day just watching. In Keefe’s opinion, it was kind of creepy but it was probably something sentimental to her. It had been a year since then and everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. 

They set to work, setting up, connecting cables, dusting (not something Keefe thought this would entail). Their list was made quick work of and soon they were all set up and staring at the screens. People moved like nothing was going to happen, they moved in a trance of things to do and places to be and not a care for the world around them. Keefe remembered a long time ago, Alden saying that elves loved their work, but as he watched people go they didn’t all seem to love it. Their lives were a dull continuous day after day after day with nothing to want and nothing different. Keefe grinned, oh how they would change that. They all held separate controllers, all for different things.

With a nod, Marella started to count down. “Three. Two. One.” She pressed her button and the disks went off. Pink goop (Keefe got the idea from bubble gum, something he had been a tad bit addicted to in his time away) covered everywhere. Luckily, the cameras were high enough that their view wasn’t blocked, because the view from above was amazing. People shouted and left their shops, watching as the mass overtook everywhere. No one was actually in danger, anyone stuck would be just a tad bit uncomfortable but still safe. Dex let out a breathless laugh, “It worked, oh my Ancients it worked!" 

Marella let out a whoop and he couldn’t help but be caught in the crashing wave of her joy. But they weren’t done yet; there was still more to do.

They waited in anxious excitement for the panic to die down before they could release Wave 2. Finally, it was time and Keefe pushed his remote to see glitter fill the air and Biana’s infamous quote light the sky. ”' Sparkles make everything better,’“ Keefe said as he watched the shimmering rain. "That they do, that they do.”

Dex giggled as he pushed his button, releasing the KMD. Keefe was fairly proud of his odd combination of their initials, but it worked well. Keefe’s pink faded into Marella’s orange into Dex’s green in a shimmering rain that morphed into “The Outsiders”, as Dex had called them the night before. 

Keefe swelled with pride, “Now that is something sixteen-year-old me would be hella proud of.”

Marella nodded, “We did something amazing here today, boys.”

“That we did." 

That afternoon, moments before sunset, Dex, Marella, Keefe, Biana, and Elwin stood on the hill behind Elwin’s house. No one knew what to say, no one knew where to start. Honestly, Keefe thought that the only thing keeping Elwin from crying was his silence.

"Really,” Biana spoke startling them all. “You had to use the 'Sparkles make everything better'?”

Marella barked out a laugh. “Hey, we knew it would get your attention,” Dex said.

Biana raised her eyebrow, “Oh, really? Because the giant blob of pink goop in my office and everywhere else wouldn’t?”

“Wellll- it was a fun addition,” Keefe said.

Biana smiled softly, “I’m going to miss you guys.” Keefe couldn’t stop himself anymore and he pulled her into a hug.

“We’ll be back. I promise.”

“You better be, asshole; I can’t fix everything on my own,” Biana whispered into his shoulder.

“And you don’t have to,” Keefe whispered back. If anything, he wanted her to know that before they left. She nodded slowly. 

Keefe felt Dex and Marella join the hug, and eventually so did Elwin and it felt so final that Keefe had to remind himself again and again that it wasn’t; that he’d be back. 

Finally, they pull away, everyone with teary eyes. “If any one of you gets hurt you are calling me immediately, got it?” Elwin stated, point his finger at them.

Dex snorted, “I don’t think it works like that.”

“I do not care, I am not letting anyone of you get hurt by that place,” Elwin said, almost glaring at them. “Are you kidding? The amount of work I’m going to have to go through, detoxing you after you’re exposed to all those-” he waved his hands excessively, “pollutions!”

“Yes sir,” Keefe said as he mock-soluted him.

“We should probably get going,” Marella elbowed him, checking her watch. “Bi? Watch my mom, will you?”

Biana smiled, “Of course.”

Dex gulped, “And watch the triplets for me? And Elwin, talk to my parents? They’ll be mad I didn’t tell them but I just couldn’t say goodbye to them.”

Elwin and Biana nodded. Keefe raised his leaping crystal, “I love you guys.” The beam opened up and before he could bite his tongue, “I love you, Dad.” He stepped through, not even looking to see Elwin’s response.

Marella and Dex met him on the other side, both giving him quizzical looks. “You really just called him Dad for the first time and then ran away for who knows how long?” Dex asked.

“Yup!”

“I thought that impulsive phase was over,” Marella said.

“I'm sorry what have the past two days been?" 

"We don’t talk about that." 

Keefe grinned, "Okay Techmaster, lead the way.” And they were off a clean slate, a fresh beginning.

They had rigged up a computer, a shitty web camera, and a stand duct-taped together in the middle of their small Sydney apartment. Dex stood behind, still messing with the settings as Keefe was trying to fix the crappy white sheet they had hung behind them. “I think it’s fine,” Marella chuckled.

“Oh suree tell the guy who actually can speak to the tech how it works,” Dex said, rolling his eyes and pressing a few more buttons. Marella moved her fingers around her temple and mouthed, “Crazy” and Keefe found that he couldn’t stop himself from snorting. 

“You know I can see you right.”

“Yup!” Marella and Keefe said in unison, giving in to another round of giggles.

Dex shook his head, “Well, we’re all set up.” For a millisecond Keefe could tell just how nervous Marella was in the way that her eyes darted, trying to make sure everything was holding steady, how her hands silently snapped to some imaginary song. It came off her in waves, though her excitement accompanied it. 

“Okay, you guys ready?” Dex asked. 

Keefe nodded. “Okay, three,” Dex held up three fingers. Two. One. He pointed at them. 

The first round ended prematurely in a fit of giggles. The second with Marella staring blankly, the third with Keefe singing some random song he had heard on the radio because who knew what he was supposed to say? Certainly not him!

It took more tries than Keefe could count and well after the sun went down before they finally had an acceptable intro (they also managed to drag Dex into the actual camera view which was secretly Marella and Keefe’s main goal). 

It took only two days to edit on top of the jobs that they had managed to find. Eventually, they were all standing in front of the computer anxiously watching Dex press the upload button.

“You know,” Dex said, “it’s not going to make any difference with you standing right there.”

“We are witnessing history in the making; we cannot miss out on that!” Keefe yelled dramatically,  met with an exaggerated eye roll. 

It all seemed too simple to be called a beginning, just a click of a button, and they were alive somewhere among the firing code in this vast world.

They were all lounging on the couch when it came. The doorbell rang, and no one moved, except the cat. Dex was too wrapped in his current school project that had to do with writing something that was way above Keefe’s amount of brain cell. Curled on the couch, Marella had her headphones in, editing their newest video that had them trying to paint a posing Dex with their fingers. This ended into chaos which was a surprise to no one. Keefe grinned at the memory as he tried to lure out their new cat that had decide to bolt under the sofa the moment the bell rang. “Come here Marty Jr.,” Keefe cooed.

Marella pulled out one earbud, “Did we really have to name her Marty Jr.?”

“If I recall correctly you didn’t have a better idea at the time,” Keefe retorted.

“I did!” Dex called.

“For the last time, we are not naming her after some weird chemical!”

“Pneumonia is a perfectly reasonable name!”

“Wait,” Marella said, “isn’t that a lung disease?”

“I thought it was some poisonous gas thing?” Keefe said. 

Dex groaned, “Why must I be the only intelligent person here?”

“Look is someone going to get the door? It could be pizza,” Marella said. Keefe groaned and gave up trying to get the cat out from under the couch, going to answer the door. 

No one was outside on the balcony, no one was in the courtyard except for the neighbor's kids. But there was pizza on the ground, still in the box, and it smelt like heaven. On top of the box was an envelop. “Did either of you order a mysterious pizza and a suspicious-looking envelope?” Keefe called out, carrying the box into the house.

“No?” Dex said, his face twisted in confusion. 

“Well, looks like we got a surprise then.”

Marella came up behind him, Marty Jr. sitting comfortably in her arms, “What’s in the envelope?”

“Just a letter,” Keefe said. It was a letter, but when he unfolded it, it held a handwriting he would never mistake. Biana’s. “What the-” Keefe started but Marella snatched the paper out of his hands. 

“She wants to meet us,” Marella whispered. 

“Where?" 

"In some cabin in the US.”

Keefe groaned, “Crap, we don’t have that kinda money without it being sponsored.”

Dex grinned holding up the discarded envelope, “She already thought of that.” He pulled out three plane tickets. 

Keefe grinned, “Well, I guess we’re going to America.”

Chapter Text

Sophie stood still as stone. She knew she was staring, how could she not stare? Her girlfriend’s twin was standing in the doorway of her once home. His hair longer than she remembered, the top gathered in a messy bun, strands framing his face. Then Sophie realized it wasn’t just his hair that was different, he was wearing glasses.

Rounded bottoms, flat tops, glass that flared in the setting sun. Tam with glasses was not something Sophie was prepared for and she only managed to gap. They were silver-framed, and sat at home perched on his nose; it made him look older, and Sophie didn't know if it was good or bad.

"What's takin' so long Tam?" Mari called out from inside the house. A second later she appeared in the doorway, a cheery smile on her face that Amelia knew would be gone the moment Mari saw her. Obviously, she was right. Mari's eyes landed on the girl in front of her and her entire body went rigid, her face going through a hundred different emotions in an instant before stopping abruptly on blank confusion.

Oh. Mari was standing right in front of her, close enough to touch. Close enough that she could smell the chocolate and the familiar scent of cinnamon and apples and freshly baked bread and cookies that would melt in your mouth. Oh, how Amilia just wanted to run into her arms and cry and apologize and beg for forgiveness until her voice was hoarse. But all she could do was stand, and stare, without the courage to even think of saying something.

None of the group had heard the footsteps approach, or the small gasp, too entrapped by their own hurricanes of emotion.

"Sophie?" a timid voice asked followed by a smaller, "Linh?"

Both girls’ heads snapped up to look at who’d broken the unforgiving silence; Sophie's eyes found Fitz's and both of their faces split into comical grins. Fitz pushed past Mari, hurried and uncoordinated, stumbling his way into Sophie's arms. A startled laugh escaped her lips as Fitz wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her into the air like she was light as a feather. Oh, how she had missed her Fitz.

Eventually, he set her down and ruffled her hair with a grin before glancing back to the group still standing in the doorway. His eyes landed on Linh who raised her hands up in surrender immediately. "Nuh-uh, nope, don't you dare try to hug me," Linh said, her tone playfully serious.

Tam and Sophie finally locked eyes and he gave her a look that clearly said, this is what I have to deal with all the time; pity me.

Sophie didn’t.

Fitz let out a laugh before grabbing Sophie's arm and practically dragging her inside. "Come on! We've got so much to talk about!"

Giving him a weak smile, Sophie glanced back at Mari. The woman's eyes narrowed, "Yes, we really do."

Sophie prayed silently to whoever was listening that she wouldn't be dead in a ditch by the end of the day.

Fitz had pushed his way through the doorway with Sophie in tow, the rest following slowly, not quite sure what to do.

It felt weird, seeing Fitz so at home in a place the exact opposite of where he grew up. But the way he smiled easily, told everyone to take a seat, talked with Linh—if Sophie didn't know any better she'd say he’d lived here his entire life.

"So," Sophie started. The living room was crammed, not meant for the five people and all of the tension. "Can we talk?" She directed the question at Fitz (and tried to ignore the flash of emotion on Mari's face).

Fitz luckily got the hint and nodded, motioning for her to follow him into the kitchen. Oh, the kitchen. She remembered the time that Mari tried to let her make pancakes on her own, which ended with her almost burning down the house. Or the time that she and Tommy got in a food fight while Mari and Angie desperately tried to salvage dinner—until Angie got a face full of mashed potato and it became a full-out war. She missed those days. Everything was so much easier. But then she had to go and mess it all up.

"Hey? You still there?" Fitz asked, yanking her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry," she said hurriedly. "So how'd you end up here?" She already knew part of the story, that Fitz left and Tam tagged along.

"Mostly impulse decision. Decided I wanted to be more than 'The Next Vacker' or whatever the hell I was supposed to be. So I ended up leaving; Tam caught me at the last second and came along. We ended up in Europe, and—-after a few failed attempts—learned how to drive and made our way through the place living in this weird RV that always smelled like cheese for some reason. And then somehow we ended up on a plane here, decided more road-tripping was needed. But the car broke down and Mari ended up helping us and let us stay a couple of nights."

Sophie laughed, "Yeah, that sounds like Mari."

"Wait, so how do you know her?"

"Uh. Well, you see, I kinda lived here for a year after showing up at her diner and her taking me in," Sophie said, her hands moving as if she was trying to grasp the explanation out of the air.

"YOU'RE AMELIA?" Fitz yelled, making Sophie almost squeak. "I totally thought that she was Mari's daughter."

She paused at the words. Mari talked about her like she was her daughter? Oh. Sophie felt like she could cry. From happiness or guilt; the jury was still out.

"Well, I kinda ran away? In the middle of the night without telling her? But she caught me and we fought and haven't seen each other since," Sophie mumbled.

"You and your attachment problems."

Sophie gaped at him, "OH! I'm sorry that I got pulled into a random world at 12 and then got betrayed, hurt emotionally and physically, and had the people I cared about die!"

"Yes, but you've got to let someone closer than an arms distance away sometimes," he said with a sigh.

"I have a girlfriend; she's closer than an arms distance!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah I noticed that, but be honest with yourself, she’s not."

Sophie only glared at him.

"Look. You've got issues to figure out with Linh and Mari but I'm not gonna make you fix 'em," Fitz said after a beat. "But Linh and Tam definitely have issues that need to be talked about or this house is going to catch on fire-"

Sophie chuckled. Ignoring her own problems to fix someone else's. She could do that.

The tension in the room couldn't get any worse. Actually, it could, but if it did the house might've blown up. Fitz, bless his soul, seemed oblivious to everything. Asking question after question, talking to Linh, asking what Sophie was studying, and so on and so on until it got frankly exhausting to answer.

The Plan—she said plan, but it was more of a vague idea and a poorly put together execution— was to get the twins to talk and be together so that at least half of the tension would go away. But no, Fitz just had to keep fucking talking. Finally, Sophie had enough. "Suggest dinner dumbass," she eloquently texted Fitz.

When his phone went off he only rolled his eyes in her general direction.

"Why don't I make some dinner?" Fitz asked, getting murmurs of agreement that sounded like music to Sophie's ears.

"I'll help!" Sophie suggested, and Mari's face twisted into poorly concealed horror as she definitely remembered how it went the last time Sophie was in the kitchen unsupervised.

"Nuh-uh," Mari shook her head. "I'm going with; I do not trust you in there." Sophie only smiled innocently; it was all going according to plan. The twins, in almost unison, glanced at each other and back at the three, trying to find a way out. Sophie went over and kissed Linh on the cheek, squeezing her shoulder.

"Don't worry, it won’t be long and I'll come back if you need me," she whispered, trying to ignore the confused looks Tam was giving her.

"You better," Linh muttered back. Sophie gave her a reassuring smile before heading into the kitchen where Mari and Fitz were discussing what to make.

"We are not having breakfast for dinner just because it’s the only thing you know how to make!" Fitz argued playfully.

"It is not the only thing I know how to make; it’s just easy!" Mari retorted. Sophie watched the exchange as they went back and forth, finally deciding on chicken and waffles ‘cause it was sort of both; though, Sophie knew that Mari had really won the argument.

When both Mari and Fitz were distracted getting things out of pantries and cupboards, Sophie secretly reached out to Linh's familiar mind.

Yes, it was wrong; Sophie knew this, but she needed to make sure that Linh was going to be okay. Sophie needed to make sure she was going to be okay. What would happen if something happened and Sophie didn't react fast enough? What if Linh needed her and she didn't know? She said she would be there if she needed her and this was her way of being there for her.

Sophie distractedly did as she was instructed, doing the small tasks like cracking eggs and grabbing ingredients. She was not permitted, unless the world was ending, to touch the stove. Sophie only laughed, knowing that Mari was being paranoid, but it was something she had learned Mari was good at. Being paranoid gave her control, gave her all the angles, even if one of them was outrageous. Sophie tried not to think about the fact that she may have added to her paranoia with her run-away-in-the-middle-of-the-night stunt.

Quickly banishing the thought from her mind she focused on Linh's thoughts. Nothing had happened, there was a tension to Linh, a million thoughts a mile an hour running through her mind, what if after what if and quite a few cuss words.

"Soo..." Tam said.

"So," Linh responded, her tone flat, clearly guarded, but her mind was whirling like a tornado.

"We should talk." Linh internally scoffed at that.

"What's there to talk about?" Tam gave her a look of disbelief.

"There's everything to talk about!"

"You left."

Tam huffed, "You told me to!" Linh stayed quiet, and Tam stared at his hands. "You made it clear as day you didn't want me there; you still don’t want me. What the hell did I do wrong, Bubbles?"

Linh let out a heavy sigh. "That’s the problem," she whispered. "You didn't do anything. You were perfectly fine. You were fine doing the same thing for eternity. You were happy. And I went and fucked it up just because I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand being there, being so lonely-"

What are you doing, Fitz's voice rang in her head and she stumbled out of Linh's mind.

Sophie's face steeled. None of your business.

Fitz let out a huff of annoyance, similar to Tam's (she wondered if they were rubbing off on each other), but ultimately went back to work. Mari didn't question the weird interaction, but Sophie got the feeling she would be interrogated later by them separately. God, she did not need an adult, a sister, and a Fitz on her back. Couldn't she just make bad decisions in peace?

Sophie was grateful for them though. The pestering of Amy keeping her in check, in the right mind, the hugs from Fitz that seemed to never stop, and the way that Mari looked at her now, conflicted between holding her and never letting go and opening the gates that kept her anger behind bars. Sophie didn't know what she did to deserve them, especially after she fucked up time and time again, but she was grateful nonetheless.

They finished dinner in silence, except for the occasional "Can you pass me that?" or "Here let me show you how to do it." It was eerily domestic and made Sophie's heart clench, even making her forget about the tense conversation happening a wall over. But she didn't dare listen in again with Fitz watching her like a hawk, annoying in his way of knowing exactly what she was thinking and doing.

Eventually, the food was placed on platters, and Sophie used her waitress skills from many long days wasting away carrying plates and large orders to customers and brought all of the food out to the dining room.

Tam and Linh had kept their distance, the tension only a little bit more breathable. At least they weren't glaring daggers, now they were just ignoring the others’ existence. Baby steps. Fitz tailed behind her, setting the table as she carefully placed the food.

They soon all sat at the table, quietly serving themselves, not quite sure what to do with everyone else. Fitz and Tam kept on sharing glances, seeming to have a silent conversation that really got on Sophie's nerves. Sophie sat on the opposite end of the table from Mari, ignoring her prodding stares. "So," Linh cleared her throat, "what have you guys been doing since you got here?"

"Oh, nothing much," Tam responded, a harsh edge to his words.

Linh leaned forward and narrowed her eyes. "Oh come on. It’s been forever since I saw you last; you had to do something."

Sophie, for one, was not liking where this was going. The annoyed tone, the poking, the insistence, it was suffocating. She could tell, glancing at Fitz and Mari, that she wasn't the only one.

Tam gave a curt laugh. "Well, we did do a lot, I just didn't know if you would want to hear about how much, mmh what’s the word, better it was without you."

That hit a nerve.

Sophie watched in horror as Linh's face hardened and the water in her glass started to shake. Desperately, Sophie reached for her girlfriend's hand, only for it to be pushed away as Linh stood, startling the rest of the table—except for Tam? who looked like he was getting exactly what he wanted.

"You liar," Linh spat.

Tam stood up to meet her, a glint in his eyes as the setting sun's light hit his glasses, "How would you know I'm a liar, Linh? You told me you wanted to go, so I went. You disappeared at night, and you came back looking like shit. But you told me not to ask, and you said you didn't need me. And guess what? I fucking listened, cause that's what good siblings do: they listen. So when you told me to leave, I left and caught a ride with Fitz. And he did a better job at being a brother than you ever did as my sister!"

Fitz looked like he wanted to melt into a puddle. "Guys-" he tried, but when both Linh and Tam sent him a withering look he stopped. Sophie didn't know what to do; she didn't know who to help or even if she could. It was all too much.

"Fitz isn't your goddamn brother, he didn't go through the shit we did," Linh snapped.

Tam huffed, "Linh, when is it going to get through your thick skull? I'm not replacing you, I couldn't do that even if I tried. I'm waiting, I'm waiting for you to realize you're not okay, and I'm waiting for you to ask for help instead of waiting for it to fall apart in front of you." The looking on Tam's face and the way Linh's posture sagged made Sophie feel horribly out of place. That the moment was too intimate for her to see. Granted, that hadn't stopped her before, but that wasn’t the point. The point was Linh's face going through a hundred different emotions before she walked out the door without another word.

Sophie went to stand up, to go after her, to make sure she was okay—until she felt Tam's hand on her shoulder. He shook his head and smiled softly. "Let me talk to her," he said, and suddenly he looked too old to be the person she once knew. But she stayed where she was and let Tam go out the still-open door without an argument.

"What the hell was that?" Mari asked as soon as Tam left.

"They're twins," Fitz supplied.

"With emotional trauma and attachment issues," Sophie added. Mari only nodded and left it at that. The three finished up dinner without another word.

Light buzzes against Sophie's hand woke her up. She groaned in annoyance as the bright screen displayed Amy's name, knowing this was a call she shouldn't ignore. Slowly she found her way out of bed and Linh's arms, fumbling to answer the phone, anything to keep it from waking Linh up. She tiptoed down the hall, subconsciously taking the familiar path. Putting the phone to her ear, Amy's voice shrieked through the phone.

"HIII!" Amy screamed.

"You are way too awake at one in the morning," Sophie grumbled.

"I had a coffee around twelve in the morning, another an hour ago, and just chugged a Redbull," Amy explained as if nothing about this extreme amount of caffeine was concerning.

"And why, pray tell, did you do this?"

"Midterms." That explained everything perfectly. Amy was silent for a moment and Sophie spun around the room, eyes raking over the familiar scene she found herself in. A nightstand cluttered with chargers and books and random trinkets, a dresser void of any clothes, and a desk with the all too familiar pens she had collected and doodles she had etched into the smooth frame. On the bed, she found a familiar book that made her breath hitch and everything in her freeze. Against her will she was drawn towards it, opening the frayed frame displayed the first page of the scrapbook, a picture of Angie, Mari, Tommy, and Amilia outside of the diner.

Angie had given her the book the first and only Hanukkah she was there. It was during the middle of dinner, Amilia had her face stuffed with sufganiyot, and Tommy had come over. It was really a present to the both of them, knowing that neither would be getting anything from their respective families and a reminder that they would always have the home they had built. It was that night Amilia realized she had built herself a family, she had gained a brother and mothers. Her own makeshift family. But that had scared her to her core, being a part of something again. So she started to plan, and she gave into that horrible urge to run.

"Soph? Sophie are you okay?" Amy's voice tore through her thoughts like a light in the darkness.

"What if I fuck it all up again?" Sophie asks, her words shake, and she realizes her cheeks are wet from tears that had spilled over without her permission.

"You won’t."

"How do you know? What do I do when Linh finds out I've seen things I shouldn't have? That I've been keeping it from her? What do I do when Mari asks about who I was? What-"

"Stop." She stopped. "I need you to breathe," Amy spoke softly like Sophie was some wild animal. Over the next minute Amy counted while Sophie breathed, it was a routine at this point. Too many times had Amy walked in on Sophie barely holding herself. Eventually, Sophie's breathing calmed and so did the horrible buzzing of adrenaline in her system.

"I know that you're scared and that you have every right to be," Amy said finally into the empty silence. "But no matter what I will always be here with you okay? As you do everything I'm going to be here for you. No matter how much of a dumbass you are sometimes."

Sophie laughed dryly, "Thank you." She ignored how much it mirrored Linh's words on the bus.

They talked for a long time after, about anything and everything. About their friends at university to what Sophie's going to do about the boys. "It's weird, isn't it?" Sophie asked, watching the moon rise from the window from above her old bed.

"What's weird?"

"That we found each other so quickly that we all just seemed to be in the right place at the right time."

Amy was quiet for a minute, nothing but the sound of papers rustling to remind Sophie that she was still there. "Yeah, I guess it could be seen as weird. Maybe the universe was tired of seeing you guys dance around each other."

Sophie chuckled lightly and they left it at that as they jumped onto the next train of thought.

Sophie stepped out into the cold. Amy had hung up thirty minutes prior, leaving her in the dark next to Linh feeling ever so alone. She hadn't told her sister about the eavesdropping; she already knew what Amy would say. Sophie didn't need another lecture; it was too damn late for that. She ignored the guilt that had evidently arisen with the thoughts and had quietly snuck out of the living room, through the kitchen, and out the door. Eerily similar to the way she had the night she left, her brain unhelpfully reminded her. She winced at the steel in Mari’s voice, as she had told her not to be a coward stabbed deep in her heart.

She sat on the swinging bench outside, gently rocking herself back and forth on it. Her mind wandered, from how Mari did after she left, if she tried to go after her, she thought of Tommy and how he reacted, if he expected her to leave like the mystery boy he had fallen for. She sat and marveled at the stars and how clear they were. She thought of how the night, no matter how dark, never seemed to swallow her up, just sat like an old friend waiting.

Her thoughts surrounded her, infusing her so deeply she didn't hear the door creak open as Mari stepped through and cleared her throat, “Is this spot taken?”

Startled, Sophie shook her head, and her eyes found the plate that she was holding. It held her favorite dessert that Mari would make: a mini upside-down pineapple chocolate cake that never failed to make Sophie feel better.

They sat in heavy silence, staring off, avoiding looking at each other, instead of staring off into the trees, eating their respective mini cakes. Sophie didn't know how long it had been when Mari finally cleared her throat.

"I kept the stuff you left," she whispered.

"I- thank you," Sophie said even though she already knew because nothing else seemed to fit. A beat passed where Sophie grasped for something, anything to say to the woman next to her. Instead, she tore out an eyelash, reveling in the stab of pain she had become numb to.

"I thought you were done with that habit," Mari stated. So did Sophie. Until Linh showed up until the world decided to hate her once more.

"Old habits die hard," she shrugged.

Mari nodded, clearly having more important questions on her mind, "So...they call you Sophie, huh?"

Sophie's breath hitched. "Um yea," she stumbled. "It's a long story."

"We've got all night." And at that Sophie knew what the rest of the night was going to be, her spilling her guts about every fucked up thing that happened when she was a kid. She didn't even know how many laws she would break telling Mari everything but fuck it. Mari deserved to know.

"When I was five, I started to read minds," Sophie started softly. Mari didn't react, staying quiet for her to continue. So she did, and she told her everything. From before Fitz found her to when she left.

Mari was quiet the entire time Sophie talked, her face set in a mask, betraying none of her emotions, which made Sophie's entire stomach twist. By the time Sophie finished, fireflies had risen around the trees and grass around them. Their flickering lights were majestic, and Sophie wondered what it would be like to be a firefly. How simple it would be to be just one light in a million. She mulled over their similarities to stars, yet she remembered learning once how very far away each star was from another, what a lonely existence it must be.

They sat, Sophie still as a statue, Mari probably deciding that this random girl and her group of people were very very crazy. Finally, Mari cleared her throat, "You know I won't believe you without proof."

Sophie let out a harsh laugh, "If you did I would honestly be concerned about your sanity." Mari smiled small. Sophie cleared her throat, "So, uh what do you wanna see first?"

"Telepathy?" Mari asked, her face falling back into that mask counseling her. Sophie took a breath and closed her eyes.

She opened her mind to the world and reached forward for Mari. "Hello," Sophie transmitted and opened her eyes. Mari's eyes were blown wide and her mouth hung open slightly, her mask nowhere to be found. Sophie pulled out of her mind, closing her walls against the bombarding thoughts, and the world was quiet again.

"What the fuck," Mari breathed.

Sophie laughed, giggled more like. Maybe she was tired, maybe it was Mari's face, maybe she had hit her limit. She giggled till she was breathlessly holding her stomach. Mari only stared at her silently trying to gauge who the hell this kid was sitting next to her.

Arms were around Sophie before she knew what was happening, holding her, encasing her, like they were trying to protect her from the rest of the world. "What is this for?" Sophie whispered. It wasn't like she didn't appreciate it, honestly, she loved it, she missed motherly hugs and the way that Edaline would hold her at night when she couldn't sleep. Burying her head into Mari's shoulder, breathing in the smell of pineapple and chocolate and a home she missed so much.

"I am so sorry," Mari said. "For what they did to you, Soybean."

Sophie's eyes teared up at the name. She remembered when Mari told her about the nickname, they were in the diner closing up when Angie brought up the topic . For the next half an hour she’d smothered Mari in random nicknames, each one getting worse as the time went by. They were walking back when Mari asked her, and she said she was once called Soybean when the world was much easier.

They stayed there for who knows how long, in the cold, a thousand fireflies shining, and the warmth of a home Sophie always wanted around her.

"Sophie," a sing-song voice forced its way through her dreams, earning a grumble in return.

"She is impossible to wake up in the morning," another voice said.

"Hey, at least she sleeps," voice number three said.

"Sophiieeee, if you don’t wake up I am going to be forced to give you affection," the first voice spoke again; it was Linh, the more awake part of her brain supplied. Sophie only grumbled again, trying to bury herself under the covers once more. But in a blink of an eye the blanket was gone and she was curling around nothing, as hands were placed on her sides and kisses attacked her face. The fingers on her sides started to move and suddenly a bubble in her stomach popped and she was rolling with laughter trying to escape her girlfriend's tickles and kisses.

"I'm- I'm awake!" Sophie breathed between giggles.

Dimly, she registered who she thought was Amy say, "I think I'm going to barf," and Fitz agreeing with her while Mari ushered them out of the room with a fond look on her face.

Eventually, the torture stopped and both girls were breathless, but in the best way possible. "It's too early for this," Sophie said, flopping back down onto the bed. Linh giggled and the sound did something to Sophie's insides. Maybe it was love, she thought as she fought the shame that came from the secrets she kept (it’s not and she knows this, but maybe if she pretends it is, then it will be, then she'll be enough).

"Come on, love," Linh whispered, something in her eyes shining that Sophie didn't want to know. It would hurt too much to know.

Breakfast was a small affair; the tension had lessened. Much less like a nuke about to go off and more like a small bomb that would blow with the slightest move. Sophie and Mari's talk helped, and so did Amy's presence distracting the twins from each other.

It was nice, sitting, talking, fighting with no malice in their words. For once, Sophie felt like she was home. Sure it still needed healing, and work, and help, but it was still her home.

Chapter Text

The sun had set again, in a brilliant display of colors lighting up the sky. Sophie wondered what it would be like to be the sun; the center of everything, endlessly spinning. It was probably dizzying. 

She chuckled at the thought before turning back to her girls.

That was right, her girls. Her Linh and Amy. Linh made her feel like the sun sometimes, all dizzy inside and out, not quite knowing what way to go. Not knowing what was right, only what her instincts told her (even if they were wrong).

Linh held her hand as they walked, finding their way down to the van, old and worn down, but it still held up with only mild complaints. 

"We need more time," Fitz had groaned at the table that morning, Sophie responding with a hum of agreement. The twins weren't back to themselves yet and Sophie couldn't imagine going back to school and pretending that her best friend wasn't living with her pseudo-mom (was she even allowed to call Mari that?). Amy had perked up at Fitz's words, a mischievous smile on her face. 

"Sophie," she started. "Do you remember that cabin Mom and Dad used to take us to?"

Sophie did. All too clearly if she could say. It was a fairly large thing, they went on summer breaks, and whenever they could. Countless memories of laughing and running around as her parents haphazardly yelled at them to not break anything (they tried, they really did—it wasn't Sophie's fault that the vase just had to be right there). "I do," Sophie said hesitantly. "What are you planning?"

"Nothing!" Amy yelled way too conspicuously. "It’s just that it’s super cheap right now, and-" she trailed off. 

Sophie knew for a fact that it definitely wasn't cheap; the place was huge and everyone would be jumping to get at it. But, she hadn't seen her sister this nervous in forever, and it would be nice to see the place again, she had reasoned with herself. 

So, she agreed because god dammit her sister deserved something good. That was how they ended up standing next to the van, giving last minute hugs, and trading promises to see each other soon.

-

She was not panicking. There was no way that she was possibly panicking. Sophie "The Moonlark" fuckin’ Foster did not panic about something as simple as packing for a trip.

Except for the fact that she very much was. And it was very much not okay. 

"AMY!" she yelled, half stuck in her very small closet, as she stood on her tippy toes trying to reach the duffle bag stuffed in the very back. Why had she put it so far up? How had she put it so far up?

"AMY!" she called again. Where the hell was her sister? 

"WHAT!" Amy finally yelled back. 

"GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" 

A few complaints and grumbles later Amy was standing at her side. "What do you want? I have to pack still," Amy said.

"That’s exactly what I want," Sophie bit back. Amy raised her eyebrow and Sophie groaned. "I mean, what am I even supposed to pack?"

"Clothes?"

"No shit. But like what else."

"Sophie what the fuck how long has it been since you went somewhere?"

"We went to Mari's literally last week!"

"So why don't you know how to pack?"

"Cause that was for like two days! This is two weeks!" Sophie yelled, desperately throwing her hands up in distress. 

Amy muttered something along the lines of "You are helpless," under her breath before grabbing the duffle out of Sophie's hands. "Come on, Soybean. We got shit to do."

"You know, saying my childhood nickname and a curse in the same sentence is really jarring." Amy huffed a laugh before tearing through Sophie's poor closet.

-

The van felt too large and too small all at the same time. Their bags were thrown haphazardly in the back, along with an outrageous amount of snacks. But even with everything there was still room. The thing that made it feel small was the silence. Amy's silence, to be more specific. The worst part was Sophie knew exactly what it was about.

Music drifted through the car, some random song about love feeling like a movie, and it made Sophie want to hit the radio with a hammer. Unfortunately, Amy would murder her if she even made a scratch on the poor van that was already falling apart. So, in a desperate attempt to ignore her relationship problems she changed the station. In the corner of her eye she could see Amy shake her head.

Sophie didn't ask for this, okay? So, it meant that she didn't have to deal with it if it was too much, right? 

She knew she was wrong. Watching the memories, listening in, thinking of the girl she loved as a threat because that’s what she was trained to do! The war was over but its scars were still there. 

She didn't need Amy's eye rolls, or her head shakes of disapproval, she didn't need Fitz's butting in. She didn't need it, okay! She knew. But dear God it hurt.

It hurt when Linh had kissed her that morning. It hurt when she didn't quite know what to do, if she was moving her mouth right, or if Linh could just see straight through her. Every mistake, every broken thought. Every stupid, stupid decision.

And then the question had to come out of Amy's mouth.

That stupid stupid question she had asked a million times over.

"Why do you keep doing it?"

She wanted to cry. Cry until her eyes were dry and her throat hurt and her insides cracked. Because that's what she was, wasn't she? Cracked. Shattered. Broken. Sophie didn't know why she lied. Why she went into the girl who she swore she loved, business. Why couldn't she just stop? Why not?

"I don't know," she said truthfully. Her voice was roughed and scratchy and wrong. 

Amy sighed, "You know I love you. But you've got to tell her. Sooner or later, it’s just gonna tear you to shreds. And we both know you elves don’t do good with guilt."

"No, we don't," Sophie chucked bitterly. 

They settled into uneasy silence after that. For once though, Sophie found herself agreeing with Amy. She needed to tell Linh. They were a ticking time bomb, only good for broken hearts and massive collateral damage.

-

The cabin was exactly how she remembered it. Old wood, old beams, old memories. Glass windows that covered the towering walls, trees that went as far as the eye could see. It was cozy, and Sophie felt small again. Like a little child waiting for her parents to come in carrying their suitcases as she jumped around yelling with all the energy in the world.

It felt like home, welcoming her back with open arms. And she couldn't be happier. 

Well, until Linh had to walk and reality came crashing down. 

And it didn't help that Linh looked good. She wasn't even wearing anything special, a cardigan over a crop top, some worn jeans and nice boots. Her hair had two short braids going around her head like a circlet and connecting in the back like a crown. Sophie hoped she could just die on the spot.

But she couldn't, because Amy was showing her upstairs to put their bags away in their old room (She and Linh weren't rooming together because Amy stated that she didn't want anything gross to happen. She was lying, and Sophie would be eternally grateful for that). 

Sighing, she turned to go up the stairs, finally dragging her gaze away from Linh to haul the bags to their rightful spots. 

After the bags were thrown lazily on the bed Sophie resisted the urge to unpack them just so that she could put it off for longer. So she made her way down the stairs, quietly asked Linh if she would meet her on the porch, and opened the door with a heavy sigh.

The lights were low—in any other circumstance it should have been romantic. Well, it was romantic; to the blissfully unaware Linh. To Sophie it was ironic. 

She was cold, the air chilling her and it took everything in her to not wrap her arms around Linh's waist and bury her head into the crook of Linh's neck. Not right before spilling her guts. She promised Amy. Even if Linh hated her after, she had to do this. 

"I’m sorry." Okay, not a strong start, but still a start.

Linh tilted her head towards her, "Why?"

Her hands moved wildly in front of her, "I- everything."

"Love, you've gotta explain," Linh said, giving Sophie those stupid eyes that seemed to see right through her. 

Sophie sighed, she couldn't push this off any longer. The words fell out of her mouth like a waterfall, her hands following in stumbling movements. Tumbling out, overlapping each other, one not quite getting out fast enough before the next started. She squeezed her eyes shut as if she could block out the world and forget about what she had done, what she was saying, the look on Linh's face.

Oh god that look. 

Sophie didn't think she would ever forget it. 

When the words stopped, and her hands stilled and the world seemed to stop with them. Her breath caught in her throat and she felt her shoulders hunch involuntarily, folding in on herself. Part of her wished this was a fight she could win,the match ending with one of them on top and a blade to someone’s throat- because that Sophie knew. Not these emotions that she was taught to shove in a box. Emotions got in the way. They affected decisions. Honestly, Sophie thought she was free of that, being easily swayed like a tree in the wind by her own heart. 

But fear still controlled her.

It made her do things she regretted. Things she hated herself for. 

An iron grip that she couldn't escape.

The worst part about the entire situation was that Linh was silent. If there was one thing Sophie knew, it was that she was shit at reading body language. And seeing that that was the only thing she currently had to gauge Linh's reaction, Sophie was at a loss.

"What the fuck," Linh finally said, staring at the wood like she hoped it would help her. 

Sophie wished it would too. "I’m sorry," she whispered.

"Let me get this straight," Linh sighed. "You watched my memories without my permission, listened in on conversations that I had. And when Amy tried to tell you not to, you didn't listen."

Sophie gulped, "Yup."

"I'm sorry."

It took at least a minute for the words to process. Linh- why was Linh sorry? Sophie was sure the confusion was clear on her face because Linh smiled sadly before speaking again.

"I never meant to lie to you. About coming here when I said that I had been at that road house the entire time. I wanted to tell you I just- I didn't want to think about it, how I pushed everyone away. And when I saw you I saw a fresh start, someone I could be someone else with and I wanted that. So I pretended I was fine. I’m sorry that you had to find out on your own."

Sophie chuckled dryly, “God, we’re both so fucked up.”

Linh laughed quietly. “Do you think,” she said, “that if we didn’t go through everything we did, if you stayed and I didn’t push you away, would we have worked?”

Sophie didn’t like to think about what could’ve happened, a side effect of losing so many friends.She remembered a time that with one word she would burn down the world for Linh. “I think we were doomed to fail,” Sophie said sadly. Because in the end, she loved the idea of Linh and not the girl herself.

Linh only nodded and they both ignored the tears in their eyes. Just walk away, she told herself. it’s time to go now, just walk away.

And Sophie tried, tried to peel herself off that porch, but no matter how hard she pulled she was stuck. Staring at the girl she thought she loved, tears blurring her vision, her head spinning like she was the sun. 

Sophie just wanted to hold Linh because even if she didn’t love her like she thought she did, she still loved her in some way.

Linh’s head turned, her normally bright eyes that could light up the world were dull. There was no light behind them, and Sophie was haunted by the fact that it was eerily similar to the face she wore in the memory of bruised hands Sophie had watched.

In that moment Sophie wanted to take it all back. Her hands itched to hold Linh, to tell her that she didn't do anything wrong, to comfort her. But Sophie had lost that, lost the privilege to hold her. The realization hit her then (though she might have always known) that she didn't love this girl in the beginning. But spending nights together, realizing who Linh was again, she believed she loved her like she had. It hurt a bit, but she’d known for a while that she had fallen again, but she couldn't take back what she did and that had to be okay. 

They stood there a while longer, tears staining both their cheeks, knowing eventually the moment would have to end. It was all gonna be over. It felt like leaving all over again and this time Sophie didn't have the strength to walk away—but Linh did. She left, pulling her hands away from the railing, leaving Sophie to stand in the slowly falling snow alone (she didn't know when it had started, or when the tears in her eyes were colder than normal, tasting like ice on her tongue). 

Eventually, the cold forced her back inside. She found Amy waiting on the couch in the 'Great Hall' (a.k.a. Living Room 2 out of three). There was a book in her hand that dropped as soon as Sophie wandered pitifully into her sister's line of sight.

"Hey," Amy whispered as Sophie put her head in her lap.

"Hi," Sophie responded.

"Hello?" Fitz spoke from the doorway, voice startling both of them.

Sophie still didn't move, barely glancing back at him to see his eyebrow raised. 

"Is she good?" Fitz asked.

"They broke up," Amy supplied when Sophie didn't give an answer.

"That explains why Tam's lookin’ like he's gonna commit murder." Sophie groaned in response, only burying her head further from view and into the blanket. She heard Fitz leave, expecting him to leave her with Amy in her misery only for his footsteps to come back. "Oh yes gimme," Amy said above her, hand leaving Sophie's hair. 

"Nope, it’s for the depressed dumbass." Sophie raised her head to see Fitz grinning. The next thing she knew she was lifted off of the couch, trying to hold onto something, only for Fitz to slip under her and throw her over him and Amy. "There you go, you cat," Fitz laughed and handed her a tub of ice cream. 

At some point the tub of ice cream would become empty, and at some point reality would come crashing down again and she would cry. In the arms of her sister and her best friend. At some point she would fall asleep to be woken up by a knock on the door. But right then she would grin, with Amy's hand in her hair and Fitz trying to decide what movie they should watch. Right then she would feel loved.

-

Someone was banging on the front door and Sophie was about two seconds from committing murder. It wasn't the knocks that had woken her up--no, it was that they meant Fitz was getting up, which meant he had to let go of her, which made her follow him around like a lost puppy because dammit he gave good cuddles.

Sophie honestly didn't give a shit about who was at the door, just waiting for Fitz to open it so that they could go back to the couch and Moana, which was currently paused. What she did not expect was Marella, Keefe, and Dex to be standing outside the door with suitcases and matching grins.

Sophie was too tired for this.

The grins faded as soon as Fitz and Keefe locked eyes and the tension in the room rose. 

"You're- you're here-" Fitz said, his face painted with surprise. 

"I brought friends," Keefe responded. 

"Hello," Marella and Dex greeted.

"Hi," Sophie responded from behind Fitz, who was still locked in a staring contest with Keefe.

Finally, Keefe's eyes moved from Fitz and he grinned again when he saw her, "To be honest I'm not surprised that you and Biana set this up. Need a family reunion after a few years?"

"Biana?" Fitz and Sophie asked in unison. Neither of them had seen her since they had left. It made some part of Sophie queasy to think that Biana was left alone to deal with the council. 

"Yeah? She sent us invites and plane tickets?" Marella spoke up, her eyebrows  knitted together. 

"I had no idea about those," Sophie said. "I haven't heard from Biana since I left. For all I know she's back in the Lost Cities."

"Actually-" a voice with a thick accent came from behind her. For a moment Sophie thought it was Fitz until a flash of light and long brown hair came into view on her left. "Hi," Biana grinned.

Five minutes later the Great Hall was packed with Sophie's friends who she thought she wouldn't see for at least another eight years. But here they were; Marella, Dex and Keefe crammed on a couch, Linh avoiding her eyes as she and Tam talked in hushed tones, Fitz anxiously opening and closing his hands next to her, and Amy and Biana talking in the middle of the room in harsh whispers.

Honestly? Sophie was done with the avoidance of the elephant in the room. "Are you guys going to explain what the hell is going on or?" Sophie finally asked, her exasperation clear. 

"WE'RE HERE!" came from the doorway, a clear answer to Sophie's question. Dex's face paled at the voice, clearly recognizing its owner.

"Biana, Amy," Dex started, staring at the girls in the center of the room with a look of pure terror on his face. "Why, in the Ancients names, are they here?" 

"Sup, bitch," Bex walked through the door, her lips pulled into a smug grin. 

Dex's head fell into his hands with a groan that only got longer when his other two siblings joined them. The triplets weren't all that surprising. Unexpected, until you took into the account that this was probably some elaborate prank that would most definitely have the triplets involved. 

The surprise, though, was the mop of curly brown hair and almost-purple eyes that walked in after them with a fond look of exasperation. Stina Heks was not someone who Sophie thought would be involved in this.

Tam shared her look of confusion, "Will somebody please tell us what the fuck is going on?"

That got a laugh out of the triplets and Amy, while Biana smiled and Stina looked bored. That wasn't much of a surprise, the bored face of Stina was one Sophie knew well (mostly from having to stare at it for hours during Valiant meetings, trying desperately for her to understand that she didn't have a choice to fight like she did). If anything, it was comforting to know she hadn't changed much.

"I don’t even know where to start," Biana said, and Amy laughed awkwardly.

"The beginning," Sophie deadpanned just wishing this would be over so that she could wallow in self pity in peace.

"Well..." Biana trailed off.

"This was a project to get your dumbasses together," Bex started.

Dex looked moderately distressed as he whispered, "Language", which only got an eye roll in response.

"We started it after you three left," Lex said pointing towards Marella, Dex and Keefe, who looked only mildly uncomfortable.

“Because all of you thought that the only way of coping was running away,” Rex finished. The room erupted in a cacophony of half finished excuses before Biana raised her hand, a pointed look on her face. 

“And that was fine! For a while,” she started. “I kept tabs on you to make sure y’all didn’t do anything stupid, until I realized what the heck was going on with Linh-“ 

“Oh great,” Linh growled every head swivling to her in surprise, “another person who doesn’t know how to respect some fucking privacy!” Linh had stood as she spose, anger clear on her face. A sharp pang of guilt found itself stabbing at Sophie’s heart.

“Please, I just wanted to look out for you-“

“Oh shut up. You were doing it so you could feel good about yourself picking up some goddamn charity cases!” With almost every word Linh took a step forward, getting into Biana’s space with a snarl. “Well guess what. I was doing fine until you fucked with my life.”

“Linh-“ Tam called after her as she stormed out of the room. With a sigh he looked back at all the stunned faces; most of them had never seen Linh angry. “I’m sorry, she’s just had a bad day. I’ll go talk to her,” he said before following her out. 

“Christ,” Marella murmured, watching the door. 

The feeling of guilt only grew bigger at that knowing that she was the reason for the outburst. That her stupid fucking instincts could’ve-

“Soph,” Fitz whispered. “Sophie, look at me.” 

She really really didn’t want to. But there was a soft urgency in his voice that made her look. “It’s not your fault, you came clean. How Linh deals with that is entirely up to her, okay?”

Sophie wanted to say that she shouldn't have done anything in the first place but stopped herself. She couldn't go down that rabbit hole, not then not ever. 

Biana sighed, and her shoulders seemed to drop before she started again. "I'm sorry for watching you guys, I tried to stay out of most things just making sure y’all didn't, like, go to jail or fuck up a government or something," she said slowly. 

"Bi," Fitz said, older brother instincts clearly kicking in, "it's okay. We tried to drop off the face of the earth-- we didn't exactly expect you to walk away unaffected."

Murmurs of agreement rang out through the room and slowly Biana’s hunched form seeped away to her normal stance. 

Amy picked up the story. “We realized that you guys weren’t getting better and that frankly the Lost Cities were getting worse.” 

“We might’ve not done it in the best way,” Lex said. “But you guys needed each other. All of you were hiding under facades with a false belief  that you were getting better and it was feeding into the idea to run away. So all we did was point you guys to each other, a little nudge to the right spot.” 

“Oh,” Fitz said next to Sophie as realization dawned on both of them.

“OH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT!” Sophie said as soon as it all made sense. It was all planned! She wasn’t going crazy with paranoia (okay, maybe she was going slightly crazy, but that wasn’t the point)! 

All she got was raised eyebrows and a snort from Amy as a response to her outburst. 

“A little nudge?” Keefe asked. “You literally sent us a weird ass note with plane tickets and money so that we could be here—not very subtle of you.”

“Look, we were working off of what we had-“ Rex spoke, trying to hold in a laugh.

“Very cryptic, good job guys,” Marella laughed.

“Wait okay,” Sophie started. “Was Tam and Fitz ending up at Mari’s planned?”

Bex laughed and Amy grinned, “Nope! That woman just attracts strays somehow.”

Sophie and Fitz shared a knowing smile, remembering how she took them in with no hesitation. 

“One last question: why are you here?” Dex asked, gesturing to Stina.

“I’m moral support,” the girl answered with a shrug, and no one questioned it.

“Keefe- Keefe you can’t fall asleep. It’s only four pm,” Marella said suddenly, shaking the boy's shoulder slightly. 

“But I’m so fucking tired,” Keefe whined.

“Jet lag my beloathed,” Fitz chuckled, and Sophie felt it rumble through his body. 

“Okay sleepy heads,” Biana smiled, because no matter how hard Dex and Marella tried to pretend they weren’t tired their eyes were clearly dropping. "Go to bed, grab a room upstairs that isn't taken." 

"Dinner's at six!" Fitz called out after them and Sophie vaguely wondered if he would make one of Mari's recipes. 

Fitz did actually end up making one of Mari's recipes, a simple chicken and waffles with hashbrowns and bacon. An odd thing to have for dinner, but when it tasted heavenly who was gonna complain?  The smell carried through the house, dragging the occupants to the kitchen with growling stomachs.

Honestly, the sight was delicious and Sophie wanted nothing more than to just smack her face into it like an animal. It looked really good, okay? It was a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

It was not, Sophie found out as she basically devoured a chicken strip in one bite, only to find the others looking at her in bewilderment (except for Linh, who was ignoring her existence).

"Jeez, it’s like you have never eaten before," Biana laughed.

Sophie considered throwing a chicken strip at her but held back for the sake of keeping her food to herself.

Meaningless conversation started after that. A million and one questions about where they all ended up, how they got there, all that. It was all fine for a while, Sophie mostly tuning out conversations and trying oh so desperately to keep her eyes off of Linh (she was only moderately failing). It all started to go downhill when some not so subtle giggles erupted from what Sophie had dubbed as the childrens’ end of the table.

The next thing Sophie knew, Keefe was getting smacked in the face with a waffle.

Predictably, chaos broke out after the declaration of war. Sophie chucked a piece of chicken at who she thought was Biana only to be hit in the face with a handful of hashbrowns. Dex, Marella, and Keefe seemed to be teaming up against the triplets—who were absolutely wild. And then Fitz and Biana were on the other side of the table pelting her and Amy with whatever they could get their hands on, Linh was helping the triplets. Tam and Stina stood off to the side, presumably judging them but Sophie didn’t care because she knew that they didn’t hate them until—

A loud smack rang out.

Silence covered the room as everyone’s heads turned to Tam,who had a waffle slowly dripping down his face. In that moment, Keefe looked scared shitless. Slowly, Tam took the waffle off his face, grabbed the tray full of bacon and without hesitation launched it at Keefe with deadly accuracy. Marella was screaming “man down,” the triplets and Amy were cackling, Linh was grinning (Sophie forced herself not to look), and Sophie had never felt more content.

The fight came to an end as everyone’s exhaustion started to show. Giggling like madmen, the large group stumbled their way up the stairs to their respective rooms. Sophie, too tired to think and walking on autopilot, started to follow Linh like a lost puppy to their room. It was their room, right? 

A hand on her arm stopped her. 

The feeling of watching Linh leave, watching Linh yell, saying that she didn't think they would've ever worked, came crashing down on her. Knocking the wind out of her, making her choke. 

With a sad smile Amy dragged her back to their room, handing her pjs, getting her to the bathroom and holding her as she cried. They ended up on the stupidly large bed, Amy running a comforting hand through Sophie's too-long hair, as the moon rose, and the stars watched.