Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was easy to make time for Yami. There was nothing Yugi loved more than the chance to hang out with his favorite ghost. After everything that had happened in Battle City, Yugi felt he and Yami more than earned just a little time to themselves to relax. Even better was the fact he could just... lock himself in his room and no one would question it. Besides... they’d avoided this conversation long enough and with the God cards in hand and three out of seven Millennium Items, it was time to actually discuss what finding the Pharaoh’s lost memories would mean. The conversation they’d been dreading.

It was Yugi who breeched the subject first. “We can’t keep putting this off, can we?”

He was matter of fact in how he said it and it was like ice spread through Yami’s chest. He might only remember what it felt like to have a heartbeat through Yugi but he swore if he had one... his heart might have jumped out of his chest. He did not want to have this conversation at all. He wanted to just hang out with Yugi and think about possibly leaving Yugi. “No,” Yami admitted, despite his best efforts to stop himself, “We can’t. If we are to keep searching for my memories... then we need to address what will happen when we do find them.”

“You’ll... remember your name,” Yugi said, choosing to focus on the good first. If he didn’t, his heart might completely shatter. “You’ll remember your time as Pharaoh and you’ll... you’ll be your own person. And...”

“And I’ll be separate from you,” Yami added, looking away from Yugi. “And... I’ve been dead for thousands of years. Perhaps... perhaps I will have to move on from this world.” If he was totally honest: he didn’t want that. It was a bitter idea that he might have died young and will have to continue to stay dead after finding friends who were so good to him. “At least... if what I suspect is true.”

Yugi didn’t know what to say to that. He suspected the same himself that once he found Yami’s memories, once Yami was fully restored... he’d have to leave. Yami was not part of the world of the living. Yugi knew better than anyone that life wasn’t fair but this was beyond unfair. “Then... we should really focus on the time we have together now,” Yugi said plainly, meaning it. “If we are to part ways in the future... then why not do the most with what we have now? Before...”

There was something unreadable in Yugi’s eyes. Normally, Yugi was an open book but right now... it was like he was guarding a secret he didn’t want Yami to know. And because Yami trusted Yugi, he felt no need to push him to share what he was keeping close to his chest. Usually, Yugi would wind up telling him what he was thinking anyway. Neither of them could keep secrets from the other very long and sometimes, he was even able to communicate with Yugi telepathically. It took a lot out of both of them to do that which is why they still preferred to talk to each other out loud. “You’re right, aibou,” Yami said, squashing down all worries about the future. If Yugi thought it was best to focus on the now, then they would focus on the now. “We don’t have to deal with the finding the rest of the Items just yet.”

The Items were, after all, the second part of this equation to find his memories. The Items would have to be placed in something called the Tablet of the Pharaoh’s Memories and it should show him the way to his missing memories. Yami was actually secretly grateful they did not have all the Items because it meant that he could spend more time with Yugi. Still, Yugi frowned at this. “We shouldn’t put off finding the Items just...,” Yugi started to protest before realizing what he was dangerously close to saying. There was an unspoken agreement between them now. They both had come to terms with the feelings they had for the other had breached past romantic at some point. However... neither of them could admit it. Not when they knew what laid beyond this moment. “We should still be trying our hardest to take care of this.”

Yami knew Yugi was right. However, the truth of it was that Yami did not care if he ever got his memories back anymore. There was now a new reason beyond staying with Yugi after he had heard the Ishtar’s story. “Should we,” he questioned, wondering if it was worth risking losing Yugi and the lives of at least three innocent people. “If... If what the Ishtars have said is true, then their lives are at risk by me retrieving my memories. Perhaps it would not be the worst thing in the world if we did not rush to retrieve them.”

To this, Yugi had no counter argument. He knew that Yami was right. “I... that’s right,” he said, relieved to have a reason to not rush off to find the Items. After all, neither of them wanted to risk the Isthars’ lives simply because Yami was missing his memories. The fact that this meant Yugi would get to keep Yami in his heart for a little bit longer than intended was simply a happy byproduct of protecting the lives of three innocent people. “In that case... we should try to weigh the options before rushing ahead blindly. Find out more about what will happen when we place the Items in the Tablet of the Pharaoh’s Memories.”

Yami nodded as he folded his arms over his chest, trying to not look too relieved that they were not rushing off to separate from each other. Yami knew this was bad. He’d fallen head over heels for Yugi in such a short time. But dear god was Yugi so easy to love. “Looking into it would definitely be the wisest course of action,” Yami said, well aware it was cowardly to avoid finding out more about himself. But so far, looking for answers to who he was in his ancient past had yielded little more than conflict and threats against Yugi. Not only that... if finding about who he was then would destroy the lives of three innocent people and rip him apart from Yugi... was it even worth it? “The more we know about what we’re up against, the more we can figure out what to do.”

With this, Yami felt the strangest urge to simply... kiss Yugi. There was nothing that barred them from simply trying, after all. No rules set in place that would prevent him from simply moving over towards Yugi and kissing him. It was a strange urge that passed as quickly as it came and Yugi looked away from Yami rather quickly. Yami had the irrational thought that perhaps the urge had come from Yugi himself before dismissing it outright. “Yeah,” Yugi said, sounding rather breathless before turning back to face Yami with a carefully composed look on his face. “So. Three God cards. I bet Grandpa will think these are neat.”

It took Yami a moment to respond with a soft “aa”. His mind was overloaded with that same urge again and he was starting to think that this wasn’t entirely his own urge. Sure, he’d felt the desire to kiss Yugi before but it was never something that felt... fleeting, he supposed was the right way to put it. It was an urge that was constantly suppressed in the back of his mind. This was more like a flight of fancy... could it be? Could he really take a gamble this big? If he was wrong, then he risked ruining his friendship with Yugi forever. It was always his friendship with Yugi at the core of why he never risked making any sort of romantic advance on Yugi. Should Yugi reject him, then the friendship would never be the same. But there was another flip to that.

If it worked out... Yami moved in closer. Could they even do this? He noticed Yugi’s breathing had hitched and his eyes... flicked down. Clear permission, Yami realized. Yugi was giving him permission to at least try. His hand moved to Yugi’s cheek and he took a moment to admire Yugi as a whole. Yami took the biggest gamble of his life by pressing his lips to Yugi’s. It wasn’t exactly like kissing but Yami could definitely felt something. Yugi gasped lightly into the kiss, admiring that it did feel real enough. It felt enough to pull Yami closer. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now,” Yami admitted when pulled away.

Yugi smiled before asking softly, “what took you so long,” and pulling Yami back in for another kiss. They did have a few hours to kill, after all.