Chapter Text
Three friends sit on a couch in France, wide awake, yet stagnant. There is a world meeting in mere hours, but none of them have ever paid much mind to preparation- at least not for world meetings.
"Ich bin gelangweilt."
"Yo también."
"Moi aussi."
"Ve should-"
"-go to a bar-"
"-et find some belle filles?"
"Or männer. I don't discrminate."
"We did that yesterday, and the day before."
"Go bother Roddy und Lizzy?"
"Neither of us care about them."
"Hire some strippers?"
"OH MON DIEU! PAUVRE DE MOI! I 'ave never 'ad to pay for amour in MA VIE!"
"Why don't we go visit a whole bunch of-"
"-BEDROOMS-"
"-greenhouses, and we can see if they grow muy buenos tomates!"
BBRRRRRRIIIIIINNNGGG!
"That is mine, oh how I hope it is Angleterre! 'Allo? Ah, mon précieux Mathieu! Mon être cher préféré! What can I help you with?" Francis leaves the room as he continues in french.
"He doesn't sound very sad. I thought he said he wanted it to be the scone bastard!" the southern Italian stirs and both of the remaining BFT members look at Antonio's chest in surprise. They had forgotten that Romano had been napping there.
Antonio shakes off the shock and answers his precious child, "He always says that even though it isn't true. I mean even Francis doesn't enjoy getting yelled at hatefully by his friend."
"Besides, who could be sad if Birdie called them? He is too cute to be sad around!"
"Yah!" Antonio agreed, "Absolutamente adorable! Almost as cute as you, mi pequeño!" Lovino huffed.
"Who the fuck is Birdie?"
"Canada!"
"Matthew!"
"Mon amour!" Francis re-entered the room, "don't worry! Papa Francis shall take care of it!" he hung up and perched gracefully on the arm of the sofa.
"Vat is it?"
"Well, mon Mathieu and petite Ludwig were playing pool against les États Unis et Veneziano and they lost."
"HAH! Stupid potato bastard! serves him right!"
"So why did he need to call you?"
"It seems that Mathieu and his frère had made a bet. Since Mathieu and Ludwig lost, Ludwig has to do any dare that Prusse comes up with and Mathieu has to one from me."
"Awwwwww, why don't I get to come up with a dare for my pequeño tomate?"
"I am just surprised that they got Luddy to play pool with them when the meeting is tomorrow."
Francis' eyebrows scrunched up charmingly. "I think we should make them do a dare together. The question is, what should their dare be?"
Antonio pouted, "I want to dare Lovi to do something!"
Francis glanced at his Spanish friend and then smirked tastefully, "Lovino probably wouldn't have been able to do the dare anyway, he simply doesn't have the skills!"
"I have more skills than anyone! Especially that potato bastard and- and..." Lovino trailed off in confusion.
"Mathieu?"
"SI!"
"I am afraid that I don't believe you. I simply don't think that you can act!"
"ACT! Of course I can act! Italians invented opera you stupido!
"Ah, but this is very different from l'Opera, ma petite Italienne! It is something you do not have the temperament for."
"TEMPERAMENT? I AM A PERFECT, SKILLED, GOOD-AT-ACTING, ANGEL! I DO NOT HAVE A TEMPER! I WILL SHOW YOU! I WILL DO THE DARE A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER THAN THOSE IDIOTAS!"
"Bien, you will be Espagne then."
"Scusi?"