Archive of Our Own ^beta

Avengers Tower had become somewhat of a beacon in the city of New York. The ‘official’ home of the Avenger’s team, keeping watch over America’s most populated city, housed those that had saved the planet not once, but twice since 2012 – or at least it was supposed to. The Avengers however, thought differently. After two tumultuous and traumatic battles in New York, they favored the secondary Stark Residence and it had been great living in the Malibu mansion over the past 18 months. If they had lived like a family unit before, they certainly did now, but mansion or not it was a little small for six Avengers, Pepper, Rhodey and a Makluhk. So occasionally the whole team found themselves back at the tower where it had all started, partially for convenience but also for appearances sake, and today was the latter.

Ajax had not made the trip back to New York after their latest mission, the city was no place for a creature such as him; Malibu was his home and that was how it would stay. The plan had been just to stay for the mission debrief; New York held difficult memories for them all which is why they’d moved to Malibu in the first place - but Pepper had a few board meetings to attend and Tony had some ‘projects’ he’d needed to check up on, which they all knew actually meant he wanted to stay as close to Pepper’s side as possible.

 Pepper Potts was now four months pregnant and starting to show. The past few months had been the only time in Tony’s life were he’d actually been banished to the lab by Pepper. Apparently, he was ‘vastly over-attentive’, which was not something he’d been accused of before and his constant presence was driving Pepper up the wall. It was sweet really; certainly no one could accuse Tony of not looking after his pregnant fiancée and giving her the 5-star treatment, but his natural and excessive protectiveness was a little bit suffocating at times, especially since Pepper, ever the professional, was trying to go about life as normal. There had been a few times she’d snapped at him, but frankly Tony was so excited about having a child that it was more endearing than annoying, and the Avengers were just as thrilled that there was a new member of the family on the way.

“There’s a kid walking round R&D… should we be worried?” Clint asked as sauntered into the kitchen, quickly nabbing the last pop tart before Thor awoke. It may be 2pm, but it seemed when left to his own devices the Thunder God could sleep well into the afternoon and always woke up starving. The Asgardian Prince still stayed with them most of the year but seemed in a constant battle with his Father over his duties as a Prince. Odin was old and tired, and as much as he understood his Son’s love for Midgard and the friends his Son had who resided there, he was ready for his only legitimate child to step up and take the throne. Thor, however, was not.

“A kid?” Natasha asked, glancing up from a book, a look of intrigue on her face. She was strangely at ease here, despite the tower cranes looming outside the window being a blunt reminder of what they’d all been through just over a year ago.

The city, of course was largely repaired now, mostly thanks to funds from the Stark Enterprises which had financially crippled the company at first, but now it was thriving, with stock shares soaring thanks to public perception. It seemed nowadays if it was worth having, it was Stark tech. Even when Apple or Samsung, or even Google and Tesla brought out competitive products, the Stark product vastly outsold them. Maybe it was fashion, or maybe it was the world’s way of repaying Tony for the sacrifice he made – even if they didn’t know the half of it.

“Yeah, stared at me like I had horns or something.” Clint shrugged.

“Well you are an Avenger Clint.” Nat rolled her eyes in amusement.

“True.” He shrugged again. “But like the least popular Avenger, so I can’t be that intimidating.”

“Don’t get all butthurt. We love you so what does it matter?” Natasha reminded him and Clint smiled. “So, do you think this kid has broken in or something?” She asked, slightly more concerned.

“I mean he didn’t have a security badge, and we all know how Happy feels about those…” Clint said, and Natasha chuckled, “but all the other lab techs don’t seem to be alarmed, so I don’t think he’s trespassing or anything. He had nervous body language, but not the subterfuge type of nervous.”

“What are you doing up in R&D anyway?” She asked, a curious smile on her face.

“Looking for Tony actually. He’s not in the shop and Pepper’s in a meeting, thought he might be there.”

“Pepper sent him out for some random brand of chocolate.” Natasha smiled.

“More cravings?” Clint asked.

“No, she just wanted rid of him for a few hours so sent him on a wild goose chase for some Cadbury bar that I think you can only get in Europe.” She chuckled.

“God he’s adorable, he’s like an excited puppy.”

“He really is.” Natasha grinned fondly.

“Who’s adorable?” Bruce asked with a yawn, but instead of heading straight for the coffee machine he detoured to Natasha and pressed a kiss to her lips, which she returned happily.

 “You two are gross.” Clint whined.

“Get lost Barton, you and Laura are way worse.” Bruce grunted.

“Not true.” Clint pouted.

“Totally true.” Nat chuckled. “Anyway, Tony’s adorable to answer your question.”

“Is he getting all clucky again?” Bruce chuckled.

“Again? He never stopped.” Clint scoffed. “Anyway, do you know why there’s a kid wandering round R&D?” Clint asked Bruce.

“Oh, that’s Peter.” The scientist said with a yawn.

 “Peter?” Natasha asked.

“Yeah, Peter… Tony’s got an intern.” Bruce explained.

“Really?” She said, eyebrow raised.

Bruce nodded. “Yeah, he’s a really good kid, from Queens I think. I’ve worked with him a little bit. Tony’s spending a lot of time with him actually.”

“Oh I get it.” Natasha nodded, with a wry smile.

“Get what?” Clint squinted.

“He’s mother-henning.” She explained.

“I thought we’d already established that?” Clint frowned.

Natasha shook her head, “I mean, that baby Stark is on the way and he’s giving himself a mentee-slash-parenting dress rehearsal.”

“Why would he be giving himself parenting practice?” Clint asked seriously. “He’s great with Lila and Cooper!”

“He’s going to be a great father, there’s no doubt about that, but I think he’s terrified.” Natasha agreed.

“I mean, I get it, I was worried as hell when Laura first got pregnant - it is scary.” Clint sympathized.

“Pepper says he’s having nightmares again, but he won’t talk about them, so she doesn’t think it’s about last year. She thinks he’s scared he’s going to turn out like Howard.” Bruce explained.

“Ah man.” Clint sighed.

“He may be Tony Stark, and he may be getting better with the whole feelings thing, but we all know his self-worth is severely lacking, we’ve got to make sure he doesn’t spiral.” Natasha reminded them.

“I think mentoring this Peter kid will help him.” Bruce shrugged. “If you’re that worried, maybe invite Laura up here again, with Lila and Cooper? Hopefully help take his mind off things.”

“I think it would be better if someone talked to him, sometimes we all need reminding to talk about things.” Natasha noted and the room fell into a somber silence.

“Poor kid.” Clint sighed, shaking his head.

“Who?” Bruce asked, with a frown.

“That intern.” Clint explained. “He’s going to bear the full brunt of Tony’s craziness.”

“Then I think he’s one very lucky kid.” Natasha countered.

…

“Tony, you busy?”

“Always.” Tony scoffed. “But too busy for you little spider? Never!” He said with a smile.

“Glad to hear it.” Natasha chuckled as she glided into the workshop. “I hear you’ve got an intern.” Tony froze mid action, screwdriver in hand. Well, Natasha thought, wasn’t that an interesting reaction.

 “What do you know about him?” Tony asked, suspiciously.

“Other than he’s called Peter, absolutely nothing. Why, should I?” She smirked curiously.

“No, no of course not, I…” Tony stammered.

Natasha frowned. “Tony, take a breath would you?”

“Sorry.” He sighed.

“Look Tony, I know what you’re doing.”

“And what is that?” He frowned, again in suspicion which made cogs start turning in the background of Natasha’s mind.

“With Peter,” she clarified, “taking on an intern. You’ve been wound tight as a coil for months now and Pepper’s worried, we’re all worried.”

“Pepper’s worried?” Tony asked, eyes lighting in concern.

“Tony stop.” Natasha rolled her eyes. “Pepper’s fine, but you? You’re not.”

“Why wouldn’t I be fine? Course I’m fine,” Tony babbled and sighed when Natasha’s intense and skeptical gaze refused to leave him. “I… I’m not fine.” He sighed, finally admitting it. He shook his head and looked away, putting down the tools he’d been working with before resting his forehead in his hands.

“Talk to me.” Natasha prompted, kindly, slipping her arm over his shoulders and perching on the bench next to him.

Tony sighed and looked up. “I want to be a Dad more than anything Nat, and the weird thing is I didn’t even know I wanted it until Pepper told me - and I’m excited, I am… or I was until I stopped for a minute to think about what this all means.” He sighed.

“And what is that?” She asked.

“I can’t be a dad Nat; Tony Stark can’t be a Father!” He scoffed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I’m a liability, I’m irresponsible; I’m a mess and I’m going to fuck this kid up!” He yelled the last words, and Natasha gripped his arm firmly, giving him a moment to calm down.

“Tony, those words are words I wrote in a report a long time ago, words the media have written about you for decades, but you didn’t believe them then so why are you letting them get to you now?” She asked sincerely. “You know yourself better than that Tony, we know you better than that. Maybe that is who you were once, but you know very well that it couldn’t be further from you now, so what’s really the matter?”

Tony sighed, burying his face in his hands. It was a moment before he gathered the words to speak again. “When I first picked up that pregnancy test all I could think about was all the things I wanted for my Kid.” He said shakily. “I had all these dreams for the little one, thought about all the things they could achieve with the technology of the future and everything I could teach them. The day that they get cleverer than me… all the things that I could give them that I didn’t get, like sports and music and friends…” he took a breath. “Then I realized that’s exactly what Howard did; I sounded exactly like him. My Dad decided who and what I was going to be before I was even born, he pushed me into everything and pushed me away from everything else. All my life was learn this, build that… I’m so scared I’m going to do that to my kid, push them into a life they don’t want because it’s what I dreamed for them and not what they dreamed for themself.” He said, his face stoic but Natasha could see the swirling worries and insecurities dancing behind his eyes.

She sighed sadly. “The fact that you’ve realized that already Tony, tells me that you’re not going to let that happen.” She said, letting her hand run up and down his back soothingly. “You are not your Father Tony, and you may not have any good parenting examples to look to and that’s scary - but talk to Clint, talk to Laura. Nobody gets the parenting thing perfect; every parent fucks up their kids a little bit, even the best ones…”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” Tony barked.

“Let me finish котенок[1].” Natasha warned.

“Sorry.” He sighed.

“Thank you.” She smiled gently. “My point is, look at Lila and Cooper, they’re great kids yes?”

“Of course.”

“Well Clint wasn’t there half the time and I know Laura struggled. She struggled so much - and they both have regrets, as parents, but Lila and Cooper still came out perfectly fine. I’m trying to show you reality Tony. You’re going to make mistakes. Parents fuck up, they aren’t perfect - even the great Tony Stark isn’t perfect - but that’s fine. The one thing I know Tony, despite everything that happened to you in your childhood, is that you could never, ever hurt your child. The difference between your dreams for your kid and Howard’s is that you want the little one to have everything - everything that you couldn’t have because Howard wanted you to be some perfect little solider, something to boost his media presence. You would never do that.”

There was a moment of silence and Natasha could tell that although he’d heard her words, Tony still didn’t fully believe them. What he said next shocked her.

“Have you ever wanted kids?” He asked tentatively.

She sighed, a wave of regret momentarily washing over her. “I can’t.” She said sadly.

“What?” He asked, surprised.

“It was part of my training.” She said sadly. “An operation… we were all sterilized. It removed any chance of us having the only thing that could matter more than the mission.”

“Natasha I…” Tony said, voice barely more than a whisper.

“Bruce very nearly broke up with me over it.” She started. “Not over the sterilization,” she quickly corrected when Tony frowned, “but over the whole children issue.” She explained. “He brought it up first. He didn’t want to force me into a life where he couldn’t give me children. He doesn’t know if he can have kids either and he would never risk passing on anything Hulk related to a child so… he was going to end it with me. So I told him about me and he still took a fair bit of convincing, but in the end we both know that we’re happy with each other and being Uncle and Aunt to Clint’s brood and to baby Stark on the way.” She smiled softly. “And if we ever did want more than that, there’s always adoption.” She sighed. “I think in an ideal world we’d already have started a family, but that’s just not on the cards for us.”

“Nat…” Tony said, heartbroken.

“Tony its fine, I’ve had a lot of time to come to terms with it.” She said genuinely.

“Yeah but here I am whining about this blessing and you and Bruce would probably give anything just to have what I have.”

“Tony, all your fears are justified even if they are irrational, which may seem like an oxymoron, but you know what I mean.” She chuckled. “I don’t expect this one little chat to fix all your problems, but just please, stop bottling it up. Talk to Pepper, talk to me, talk to Clint… anyone ok? You’re not alone. You’ll never be alone.”

“Thanks Nat.” Tony sighed. “I promise I’ll try.”

“That’s all we ask.”

…

Clint was trying to relax, he really was, but he was feeling a bit put out. He had, as per Bruce’s suggestion, invited Laura to bring the kids across for a visit but he’d been met with a rather irate response saying she wouldn’t pull them out of school for another week and disrupt their lives again and that maybe he should be the one that trekked half way across the country to visit them for a change.

He agreed with her on both fronts, but that wasn’t the problem. Clint knew things were hard on Laura and he realized how difficult it was to take two kids on a four-hour journey. They’d been here on a visit less than a month ago after all and however well behaved his kids were Lila got horrendously travel sick and if Cooper got bored he could whine for America. He also knew that they weren’t at his beck and call; it hadn’t been an order to come to New York for a visit, just a suggestion but that’s not how Laura had taken it and it wasn’t the refusal that upset him, but the way his wife had sounded on the phone. He was worried. There was a chance he’d just caught her at a difficult time but being this irritable and confrontational was not like her at all.

“Everything ok Feathers?” Clint snapped himself out of his trail of thought upon hearing Tony’s voice. “What’s eating you?” The Engineer asked, mouthful of… something that could potentially be a squashed croissant, but Clint was going to reserve judgement on that.

“Laura seemed off when I talked to her earlier.” The Archer shrugged. “It’s probably nothing but it’s got me worried.”

 Tony contemplated a moment while he finished eating. “She chew you out or something?” He asked.

“Yeah, big style.” Clint chuckled bitterly. “But it’s not like her.”

“I get you.” Tony nodded. “But unless you’ve done something insensitive she’s probably just having one of those days.”

“I mean, I don’t think I did anything that insensitive, but yeah, I thought about that too.”

“Talk to her again later, see how she is then. I can sympathize anyway – Pepper’s moods have been up and down like crazy this week. It’s giving me whiplash.” Tony shuddered.

“Eughh, I don’t miss that.” Clint huffed. “If there is one-time Laura acts crazy it’s when she’s pregnant.”
“Yeah well, since their growing a whole other human inside them for 9 months I think they get a free pass on a bit of craziness.” Tony scoffed.

“Too true. Hell, I don’t know how they do it, I remember the first-time seeing Laura give birth and it was like a horror film man! It was a complicated delivery and I thought I was going to pass out, yet alone her… she was screaming, there was blood everywhere…” Clint stopped when he saw the unimpressed look Tony was affixing him with. “Sorry, guess that’s not really helping much.” He winced.

“Not really.” Tony said quickly.

“Right.” Clint nodded and snapped his mouth closed. “Sorry.” He said sincerely. “If it any consolation it’s not usually that bad man, and with the medical care you’ve got the chances of something bad happening…”

“The US statistics show the chances of death in childbirth at 0.0238% for live births within the general population, risk of miscarriage at Pepper’s stage and age is at about 5.4%. Factoring in the doctors we have and the increased regularity of checks I insisted on, the chances of anything going wrong stands at approximately 2.6%.”

“Ok so you’ve thought about this a bit.” Clint said, eyebrows raised.

“I considered over 1500 possible complications and scenarios and factored them all into the model.”

“Tony… that’s a bit excessive.” Clint frowned in concern.

“It’s what I do Clint,” Tony bit, “or at least it’s what I program Jarvis to do for me.” He said, more softly, calming himself. “Every situation I walk into, every mission we take I calculate the odds of success or failure…” He paused. “It may seem that I just go around ignoring the plan sometimes, but the truth is I’m changing the plan every second, adapting it to fit the most likely outcomes and ensure that they’re positive.”

“Dude, that’s heavy.” Clint shook his head. “That would drive me insane. Do you ever turn that off? How do you even function if all you see in the world is risk?” He asked in disbelief.

“It’s not all I see Clint,” Tony shrugged, “and in the past I can’t say the risks have been much more than numbers to me. Nowadays I care a little bit more – have more to lose. But no, I can’t just turn it off.” He sighed. “One thing I’ve never been able to do is switch off my head; not sure if I ever want to either.” He said, contemplatively. “It’s about a thousand times easier to cope with nowadays than it was when I had CAEB’s ability to analyze things though.”

“Shit yeah. Those were rough days.” Clint scowled, remembering how close they had come to losing Tony to the pressure and immeasurable weight he’d carried on his shoulders. Tony had been a bit more fragile ever since that breakdown, the mind not able to snap back as fast as the body. Don’t get him wrong – Tony had recovered incredibly, healed in ways that still amazed the Archer, but he could see it in the man sometimes; the flawless billionaire that never used to be shaken didn’t really exist anymore, and whether it was because he was less guarded with his feelings or more affected by the things that happened, he was clearly more vulnerable nowadays. A less experienced person would see it is a weakness, that Tony – that any of them – were damaged by their pasts and more easily breakable, but Clint knew better. Yes, things hit them harder and life was more difficult to cope with than it had been when they were young, but it didn’t change the fact they always overcame it. They were made stronger by their trauma and their battles.

“Worth it in the end.” Tony smiled nostalgically, almost echoing Clint’s thoughts.

“Definitely.” Clint smiled back. “Anyway man, looked like you wanted to ask me something when you walked up in here,” he prompted.

“Yeah I did I guess.” Tony sighed, seemingly reluctant to speak the words.

“What’s up Tony?” Clint asked, a little more concerned.

“I just wanted to ask what it’s like,” he started, pausing, “being a parent.” He shrugged. “How do things change?”

Clint took a deep breath and sat himself down.  “I’m not the best person to ask.” He said honestly. “I mean, I was hardly there,” he explained.

“My dad was hardly there Clint, and I hated him for it. Your kids don’t.” Tony countered. “In reality I’m going to be busy too, as is Pepper. The little one is going to have two parents with stressful jobs, working long hours and I don’t…” His voice cracked a little and he took a breath. “I can’t let that be like Howard.” He said firmly. “I need to know the difference between what I had with my Dad and what you have with your kids.”

Clint nodded his understanding, taking a moment to think through his response. “Well then I think I have to ask first, what was Howard like?” Clint started. “Aside from the whole being an abusive asshole and the killing Erica thing.” Tony flinched at that memory, but Clint’s hand steadied him. “You hated him long before that right? So when did you first start to hate him?”

“Around the time I went to MIT I guess.” Tony sighed, pausing to really think about what Clint was asking him, because it was about the one thing in his life he’d never really analyzed. He preferred not to think about it in all honesty, but if he did - if he really tried to pinpoint it to one thing – he was surprised to find that he actually could. “Truth is I didn’t hate Howard for never being there.” He realized. “Instead, I hated the fact that when he was around, he never cared.  I didn’t even hate the fact he slapped me around a bit sometimes, I felt like I deserved it…”

“Tony…” Clint said sadly.

“I know I didn’t birdbrain, but that’s how I felt back then, alright?” He said, a little irately.

“Yeah, alright Tony.” Clint said kindly, patting him on the shoulder in support. “Sorry.”

Tony shook his head, giving an apologetic smile before continuing. “No matter what he did I thought it was my fault for not being good enough, so I kept trying to impress him. When Jarvis first died - Edwin Jarvis that is - and I started to make AI JARVIS, he told me I’d never be smart enough to make something so advanced because it was impossible even to Howard Stark. So I got in my head that if I created JARVIS and succeeded in making the most advanced learning AI in the world, something he thought was impossible, then that would be the thing that finally made him proud.”

“I’m guessing it didn’t.” Clint sighed.

“Not one bit, or at least if it did he never showed it.” Tony scoffed. “Things had changed as well,” he remembered, “I’d been at MIT a whole year and from having been in an environment where I got no praise and was hated for not being enough, I suddenly got a whole new type of attention – from professors who couldn’t stop singing my praises, or those who were jealous. The other students either resented me for being 5 years younger than them and getting top of the class or followed me around like I was a God.” Tony scoffed. “And amongst all those fake friends there was Rhodey and he kind of made me feel like I was actually worth something.” He smiled fondly. “So when I presented Howard with JARVIS and it still wasn’t good enough for him I realized nothing ever would be, because it wasn’t me that wasn’t good enough, it was him. That’s when I stopped caring what he thought and started hating him for all the years I wasted trying to win his approval. That’s when I started doing everything in my power to go against everything he wanted and ruin his oh so precious reputation.”

“I don’t blame you Tony, I really don’t.” Clint smiled softly. “Hell, most teenagers do the same for way less.”

“Those years aren’t far away for Lila and Copper.” Tony said with a wry smirk.

“Don’t remind me.” Clint groaned.. “This is the perfect age. They’re adorable and innocent and so full of wonder – and they sleep through the damn night! I can definitely wait for the attitude and the boyfriends and the girlfriends.”

“I feel so sorry for any future boyfriend of Lila’s. We’re going to make his life hell.” Tony snorted.

“Sure are.” Clint grinned, then his face straightened. “But you wanted to know the difference between a good and bad absentee Father, and I’d say it’s fairly obvious. We can’t be there all the time, no parent can and yeah, maybe you and Pepper will be there a bit less than others – but what matters is that every second you do spend with them, is quality. That’s what I did with Lila and Copper and I have so much to thank Laura for that. I got to be the fun parent whenever I was home; I was the one that they looked forward to seeing, who just got to play games and take them places and do fun stuff – that left Laura with the important jobs and the bad stuff like discipline, and having the kids shout at her that they loved me more when they didn’t get their own way.” Tony hissed a wince at that, and Clint nodded. “Yeah that sucked for her, she never should have to deal with that alone. Raising kids is partnership and you should share the shitty jobs as much as you do the fun ones.”

“I really don’t get how that is going to work with me and Pepper.” Tony sighed.

“You’ve got a few years to worry about that, the baby years come first, and they are the best and the worst in a number of ways. But then again, I don’t think you’ll find the insane lack of sleep much different to your life now.” Tony agreed with a roll of his eyes. “Point is,” Clint continued, “you and Pepper have time to talk about this stuff and find your rhythm and that partnership doesn’t have to be just two people. You’ve got the rest of us as well. We’ll all step in Tony, whenever you need us to. You won’t be alone.”

Tony smiled, looking more at ease. “This kid’s going to be the most protected on the damn planet aren’t they?”

“Hell yeah they are.” Clint agreed, heartily. “Have I managed to answer your questions?” He asked, knowingly.

“Yeah birdbrain, you have. Thanks.” Tony nodded and patted Clint on the shoulder as he got up to leave. “Good talk.”

…

“Hey Pete, what’s up.” Tony greeted cheerfully seeing the kid hanging nervously at the lab door, despite knowing he had permission to just come in whenever he wanted.

“Hey Mr. Stark.” Peter said, his tone still unsure.

“What have I said Pete?” Tony rolled his eyes fondly.

“Tony, sorry, it just feels… you’re a legend and a hero and you save the entire world and....”

“Alright, take a breath kid.” Tony instructed and the young man nodded, shutting his mouth quickly. “I get the whole starstruck thing, I get it all the time, but I don’t want it to be like that with us, ok?” He said sincerely and Peter nodded clearly listening hard. “All these people on TV, all of us ‘heroes’ we’re just normal people underneath it all. Apart from Clint, he’s a bit special…” Tony teased and that won a nervous chuckle from Peter and Tony smiled widely. “That’s what I’m talking about, yeah? Normal everyday guy!”

“Genius, Billionaire, Philanthropist, Avenger…” Peter listed throwing a pointed look at his mentor, but hey, at least the kid was coming out of his shell a little.

“Yes, granted.” Tony admitted. “But that hero thing - you’re a hero too Pete, maybe even more so than any of us.” He said honestly.
“Mr. Stark… Tony… I’m just your friendly neighborhood Spider-man. Last night all I did was get a cat out of a tree.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that. Petey, you’re fifteen years old and you go up against armed robbers and thugs… and weird goblin men – without a suit of armor or a team to back you up, just because it’s the right thing to do. When I was fifteen, I was getting drunk every night and… well you get the picture but what I’m saying is, you’re pretty awesome too and it’s great that you have respect for us all, but we’re not God’s – even Thor, well, he kind of is I guess – but anyway, what you do is just as admirable and important and praiseworthy.” Peter stood staring at Tony for so long without saying a word that Tony started to get concerned. “Kid, you ok? Did I break you or something?”

“No Mr. Stark, no I… You didn’t. I guess that’s just the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” He smiled in disbelief. “Thank you.”

“One thing you need to know about me Pete, is that I don’t give out false praise. I’m not into that whole ‘here’s a medal for participating’ crap. If I tell you that you did good, I meant it, if you mess up you’ll know about it, but mistakes aren’t something to be afraid of. Success is a lousy teacher and an even worse motivator. You need to be prepared to fail and pick yourself back up and do better and then do it again, and again.”

“I am… I will. Thank you Mr. Stark. Does this mean I could be an Avenger one day?” He asked tentatively.

“Course you could kid. But Spider-man isn’t the only reason you’re here though.”

“It isn’t?” Peter asked, his face scrunching up in confusion.

“No. This internship is real; you have the brains to go far and as much as I’m here to help you with your ‘friendly neighborhood’ shenanigans you got here on your own merit with your intelligence.”

“Well then I guess, where do I start?” Peter asked and Tony grinned.

“Have you ever played with a particle accelerator?”

…

Time passed quickly in the lab at Stark tower. If Tony wasn’t overly familiar with the mechanics of time he would speculate that the lab existed outside of the continuum that affected the rest of the planet and thus had its own laws of space-time which meant that time passed more quickly on the outside than it did within. If he suggested that to Pepper she would likely tell him he was an idiot and that the fact he’d always ended up spending too long in the lab was simply due to his own complete inability to keep track of time and not thanks to any complex theory of relativity. She would probably then tell him to go get a shower because he stank, and that sleep was not optional, and she would be right on all fronts.

Still, theories aside nothing did change the fact that once Tony was working time seemed to fly by, and that seemed to apply even more so with Peter at his side.

 “I mean, the most revolutionary metal on the damn planet and my Dad uses it to make a frisbee.” Tony ranted, inspecting the shiny new piece of Vibranium he held between his fingers. The particle accelerator experiment to convert Starkanium, the element he synthesized to replace the poisonous palladium that used to power the arc reactor, into Vibranium, had been a resounding success. Peter had soaked up the theory like a sponge and had been impressively intuitive when they’d been setting up the equipment. Tony was impressed and proud in equal measure.

“That frisbee has helped save a lot of lives Mr. Stark.” Peter reminded him.

“I know Pete and I don’t begrudge Steve his frisbee,” he tutted, “but the technology that proper study of this metal could have led to… well, it’s beyond even my imagination.” Tony sighed wistfully.

“So that’s why you’re trying to make more.” Peter realized.

“I’m trying to get enough to study at least.” Tony nodded. Although the conversion had been a success the process was long-winded, inefficient and expensive. It would have probably been cheaper to have bought some on the black market. First the Starkanium had to be synthesized which was only possible from three precious, rare, elemental metals, then that had to be converted to Vibranium. To get even a ton of the metal would cost billions of dollars and tens of thousands of man hours. He had to refine the process for mass production, which would be years of development, or find a better process which would be equally time consuming and mind boggling. “There are a lot of things, a lot of concepts out there that are impossible, not necessarily in theory, but because we don’t have the materials capable of carrying them out. Equally there are dozens of theories that can’t even be tested for the same reason.”
“And you think Vibranium could fill those gaps?” Peter asked excitedly.

“From what I’ve been able to figure of its properties from the limited amount I’ve had to test, it could definitely fill some of them, or act as a bridge to get us to materials that can…”

“Tony what the hell are you still doing down here!” Pepper’s irate voice interrupted the genius mid-flow and had him stumbling to his feet.

“Hey honey, are you ok? Did you have a good day? Do you need anything…” Tony blurted out in one long manic string of concern and delight at seeing his fiancée and Pepper couldn’t help but smile and yield.

“I’m fine Tony.” She shook her head fondly.

“Have you met my intern?” Tony asked enthusiastically. “Hey Pete, this is Pepper Potts, my world, my shining star, the love of my life.”

“Hey Miss Potts.” Peter said shyly, whilst looking at his mentor sideways, confused by his strange behavior. “I’m Peter Parker, it’s very nice to meet you Mam.”

“It’s very nice to meet you too.” Pepper smiled fondly and rolled her eyes at her fiancée. “Tony talks about you a lot.”

“He does?” Peter asked with a nervous smile.

“Yes he does and its Pepper, not Mam.” She informed him, turning to Tony sternly. “It’s 11 o’clock.”

“And?” Tony asked, honestly

“Oh shit!” Peter exclaimed. “Oh my God, excuse my language!” He countered, slapping his hand over his mouth in horror. “But I should have been home at 7pm!” He groaned, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “And I have like 30 missed calls from May.”

“Shit.” Tony agreed, with a hiss. “Right, ok, I’ll take you home myself… how scary is your Aunt?”

“Pretty scary.” Peter winced.

“Right, well… here we go. Audi or the Cobra?” Tony asked and Peter just stared open mouthed.

“It’s raining.” Pepper said, offhandedly.

“Ok then, Audi it is.” He announced and Peter quickly jogged to keep up.

…

“Well, you were there a while. She eat you alive?” Pepper asked with a smirk when Tony finally appeared in the bedroom at 1:15am.

“I don’t think she’s my biggest fan, but we came to an understanding and she can call Jarvis’ switchboard whenever Pete doesn’t pick up.” He answered a little tiredly, but with a small smile on his face.

“You gave her our private line?” Pepper asked amusedly.

“Well yeah, I couldn’t exactly guarantee we wouldn’t get carried away like that again and it’s her kid, you know, I don’t want her to worry…”

“You really care about this kid don’t you?”

“It’s not like that.” Tony sighed.

“Not like what?” Pepper asked genuinely.

“Natasha, the others… they all think I’m doing this for ‘Dad practice’.” Tony huffed.

“And are you?” Pepper asked, no accusation in her voice.

“No!” Tony protested. “Well, kind of, but no. I care about Pete, he’s not an experiment to me. He’s a really bright kid and with everything he’s juggling…”

“What is he juggling Tony?” Pepper asked, concerned. Yes she had only met Peter this evening, but she liked him and from what Tony had said about him he seemed like a really nice kid. He didn’t deserve to be having a difficult time.

Tony stopped for a moment, face cautious and Pepper’s eyes narrowed into a frown. “He’s not just a normal kid Pep,” Tony started. “He’s Spider-man.”

“Spider-man?” She asked, shocked. “That hero saving people in Queens? He’s fifteen!”

“I know! That’s why I’m helping him – it’s not the only reason, I mean the kid is genuinely really smart and he works hard.”

“Well I think its great Tony, I do, he is a great kid I can tell, but I am concerned - he’s putting himself at risk every day.”

“I know, but he’s going to do that with or without me Pep. I developed his suit and new AI; he was running around in a red and blue hoody before now – I’m trying to keep him safe. If he’s going to do this, he might as well have someone on his side.”

“I know you are.” Pepper smiled softly, running her hand through Tony’s hair fondly as he settled into bed next to her. “Does his Aunt know?” She asked.

“She has no idea. He doesn’t want her to know, but she’s a smart woman, so it’s only a matter of time really.”

“Are you training him up to be an Avenger?” Pepper asked curiously.

Tony shrugged. “Maybe, if he wants it. But he’s still a kid. Whatever he wants it has to be his choice.”

Pepper nodded contemplatively. “When are you going to tell the others about this?”

“I don’t know,” he started, and Pepper shot him a disapproving look. “I will,” he assured her, “but for now he wants to protect his identity. If this got out it could ruin his life. It’s not that I don’t trust the others, but every person that knows makes the risk bigger. It should be his choice.”

“You’re right.” She smiled, pressing a kiss on his cheek. “I’m really proud of you, you know.” She smiled softly, tugging at his arm. “You going to sleep tonight?”

“Yeah I’ll be there in a minute, just got to shut some stuff up downstairs…”

“Jarvis can you make the lab safe for me please?” Pepper cut him off.

“No problem Miss Potts. Everything has been powered down safely.”

“There.” Pepper said smugly. “Come to bed.” She insisted, tugging on Tony’s arm harder.

“Yeah, ok.” Tony smiled wryly, sliding under the covers and yeah he thought as Pepper pulled him closer, this was better than a night in the lab. This was better than almost anything.

…

“I’ve been thinking…” Tony said one morning about two weeks after he’d been well and truly chewed up by May Parker having kept Peter late.

“Oh now I’m worried.” Pepper scoffed, the words a little muffled around her toothbrush.

“Hey!” Tony protested, folding his arms over his chest.

Pepper rolled her eyes and smiled fondly, spitting into the sink. “What have you been thinking about?” She asked genuinely, taking note of the deepening of that little wrinkle above his left eye. That little wrinkle, she’d come to know, was a rare sign of him thinking about something serious.

“Well, about how things are going to be when baby gets here.” He said tentatively.

“Are you overthinking things again Tony?” Pepper asked seriously. “You worry too much, and that’s coming from me – God knows how much I’m worried about this baby too sweetheart, but you make mountains out of molehills.” She shook her head fondly and ran her fingers through his hair, noting the tension in his shoulders.

“Yeah, yeah I know,” he sighed, “but that’s not what I’m doing for once.” He chewed the inside of his mouth. “I talked to Clint about a month ago.”

“What about?”

“About the whole parenting thing,” he paused. “I wanted to know… I was getting het up about Howard again and Nat mentioned that Clint wasn’t there much while Lila and Cooper were growing up because of his job and I just needed to know I guess, what the difference was between Howard’s not being there and screwing me up big time, and Clint not being there and the kids still loving him despite that.”

Pepper nodded knowingly. “And?” She asked.

“I realized the reason I hated Howard in the end was that no matter what I did I could never live up to his expectations, not because he wasn’t there all the time. Clint said that even though we’re both busy people, we can make the time we have together quality and that we have plenty of time to figure out how everything’s going to work on that front.”

“And we do.” Pepper smiled. “Is that what you want to talk about?” She asked.

“No,” Tony shook his head, “I mean, yes  I do at some point - but I was just thinking about time and how I can make more of it and I’ve kind of realized recently how many plates I’m spinning and how long I’ve been trying to cope with a workload that’s quite frankly in-human, for as long as I can remember. I used to enjoy it, you know? The always been busy, the never stopping – my head never switches off anyway, so it made no difference to be working all hours… but I get tired easier nowadays and its more of a chore than it used to be. I’ve been thinking about cutting down on the load I guess, delegating more to R&D and…” he paused, the words on the tip of his tongue but not quite ready to say them.

“And?” She asked, prompting his to continue.

“Well, I’ve been thinking about taking a step back from the Avengers… from Iron Man.”

There was a beat of shocked silence as Pepper processed. “A step back?” She asked, looking for clarification on exactly what he meant.

“Well, maybe going on fewer call outs – not having to go on every single mission regardless of how small. We get a serious attack and I can’t let them face that alone – the team still needs Iron Man - but anything short of a seven out of ten in severity they can handle themselves.” He shrugged. “There’s also all the background stuff that I take on, like the tech development, the fundraising and PR stuff… I’ve been thinking about talking to Coulon and Fury, because at the end of the day we are SHIELD’s team, they should be running it not me.” He ranted and Pepper smiled broadly. “But yeah, anyway, taking some stuff off my plate will lave more time to spend with our little one and take some of the stress off you – I mean I know we never talked about it, but I’m guessing you don’t want to step down as CEO or anything so I’m not against being the stay at home Dad – might have to have a playpen in the workshop or something though…”

“The Baby isn’t going anywhere near that workshop for at least half a decade..” She said sternly.

“Ok, probably for the best.” Tony smirked. “But about the rest, what do you think?” He asked honestly.

“Honestly Tony, I’m really happy to hear that.” She smiled, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Regardless of having more time to spend with our child, you’ve had far too much to deal with for far too long, its long past due that you eased off on the workload. I do want to carry on as CEO, you’re right, and we do need to talk about logistics in detail another time, but I will be taking a lengthy maternity leave. I want to spend those early days as a family, and speaking of needing a break, I think we both need a holiday”

“You have never had a day off sick Pep, so I reckon you could take a whole year if you wanted.” Tony chuckled.

“Yes, probably,” she smiled. “But seriously Tony, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say all of this.” She shook her head. “I always thought my biggest failure was going to be getting you to stop. I’ve accepted you’ll never be able to give up the suit, you are Iron Man and I know that you will always feel responsible for keeping the planet safe. Whatever people have said in the past you’re utterly selfless Tony, you’ve never really put yourself since you made that first suit in Afghanistan, and learning to share you with the rest of the world was very hard for me, but I have learnt to. I know you will never really stop, but even this little step back is going to make a lot of things easier for all of us. I’m proud of you for realizing you deserve an easier life and I’m even prouder of you for making it happen.”

“I’m not really sure what to say to that.” Tony said, stunned.

“You don’t have to say anything Tony.” She smiled running her thumb along his cheekbone lovingly. “Are you going to discuss any of this with the others before you make any decisions?”

“I want to do this myself - get everything sorted or at least get the transition in motion before I approach them with it. I don’t want to be talked out of this.”

“I respect that Tony, I really do – but for what it’s worth I don’t think they’ll try to talk you out of it. They’ll support you - they love you, even - and they want what’s best for you, just like I do.”

“What would I do without you?” Tony asked honestly.

“That doesn’t bear thinking about.” She scoffed. “What’s your social security number again?” She asked wryly.

“562” he said proudly.

“Well, that’s a 200% increase on last time I asked you.” She smirked. “What happened to needing me for the other 8 digits?”

“You’re carrying our child; I can carry another two digits of my own SSN to take the pressure off.”

“How very generous of you.” Pepper rolled her eyes.

“Well, you know me, such a generous person.” Tony smiled playfully. “I don’t have the GBPP title for nothing.”

“You can knock the ‘playboy’ P off that thank you very much.” She said pointedly.

“Yes.” Tony nodded fervently. “Definitely just the one P, the philanthropist P, no other P.” He rambled.

“Better.” She smirked. “But you are Tony.” She said seriously. “Generous that is.”

“Well its easy to be generous when you’re a billionaire.”

“Its more than that and you know it.” Pepper said firmly. “Be kinder to yourself please.” She ordered, kissing him on the forehead, “I have a board meeting I’ll see you later.”

“I’ll be in the shop.” He nodded.

“Love you.” She smiled as she made her way to the door.

“Love you more.” Tony called after her, just before the door closed.

…

It was 5 pm on a Sunday evening and that meant the communal kitchen was about to get busy. Dinner was an early affair for the Avengers team, decreed by Steve a few months ago. They’d decided a long time before that to make sitting down for dinner together a bit of a family affair; breakfast and lunch were haphazard and dependent on everyone’s personal schedules but most people had done their respective work and training by the evening, so they had a cooking Rota, each taking their turn to prepare a meal. Between 5 and 6pm had become the set time for said meal, again thank to Steve’s decree, as Clint especially had a habit of finishing training at around 3pm and when their mealtime had been much later in the evening, the ravenous archer had snacked incessantly, unable to wait, and ended up not being hungry when the proper meal did arrive. The same could be said for Natasha to some degree and Steve himself preferred to be early to bed so it worked for him as well. Thor of course was the exception; it wouldn’t have mattered to him what time the meals came as he seemed to eat constantly from the moment he woke until he decided to sleep. Whether Tony joined them or not depended on his own haphazard schedule, or lack thereof, but they always made a portion for the Engineer and if he didn’t show it was usually Bruce that delivered it to the lab for him, and to make sure he wasn’t overdoing it as usual.

“Hey Coulson, long time!” Steve greeted cheerily as the elevator doors slid open to reveal the agent, much to the Captain’s surprise. He’d just been sat, contemplating what to make since it was his turn to cook today, knowing he’d have to listen to Clint whine about being hungry if he took too long to decide.

“You know what its like,” Phil smiled broadly, “missions to complete, a team of miscreants to manage.” He sighed.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it.” He scoffed.

“Thought you’d learned by now that you have no hope in hell of managing us Steve.” Clint chuckled as he appeared from down the corridor. “Hey Phil.” He smiled, pleased to see the agent.

“Barton.” Coulson greeted.

Steve sighed. “Yes, you certainly are unmanageable.” He scoffed. “You and Tony especially.”

“Rude.” Clint huffed indignantly. “But you wouldn’t have us any other way.” He smirked, knowingly.

“True.” Steve smiled.

“What you doing here anyway? Just a visit?” Clint asked of Coulson.

“Tony called me actually. He had some things to talk through.”

“He did?” Steve frowned, sitting up. He hadn’t seen much of the Billionaire for the past few days and it was unusual for him to contact anyone from SHIELD, even Phil, before running it past his team.  The one thing that most markedly improved over the last year was their communication – it still wasn’t perfect; nothing ever was and there were a lot of strong personalities in the squad that were bound to clash every now and again. But, in general, they were more like siblings squabbling and there weren’t any serious blowouts like they’d had in the past, and even Tony was good at keeping them in the loop regard his plans and intentions.

“He’ll fill you in soon, he’s just rounding up the others.” Coulson reassured them.

Sure enough, within a few minutes the full Avengers team was gathered in the kitchen, strewn about the sofas and bar stools. The man himself, as usual, was the last to make his entrance. They were all too used to waiting on Tony nowadays, but unlike the past they didn’t begrudge it. They knew he didn’t do it on purpose - well, most of the time anyway – and that he was the most ridiculously busy person that any of them had ever known. It was actually impressive how to time he ran considering the monumental workload he took on.

“Hey Tony,” Steve greeted when the man finally stepped out of the elevator. “You staying for Dinner today?”

“Yeah sure, I’ve got some time.” Tony smiled. “Might be having a few more join us as well.” He said cryptically, guardedly even.

“I’m sure I can cater for that.” Steve smiled, but he had to say he was a little concerned. Tony looked uncharacteristically nervous, his shoulder’s held tense, his skin crinkled around his eyes in the same way it did when he was having a migraine and he kept glancing over his shoulder.

 “Guys, I need to talk to you all about something.” He started, almost absentmindedly.

“You ok Tony?” Natasha beat Steve to it, of course also recognizing Tony’s strange behavior.
“Yeah, I’m fine I just…”  Tony sighed. “There’s two items on the Agenda actually.” He changed tact.

“Agenda?” Clint questioned, suddenly straightened. “Oh, this sounds official, is this official?”

“Yeah sure, this is an official Avenger’s meeting birdbrain.” Tony said and Steve frowned. Such ‘official’ meetings were kind of unusual for the team lately – they just tended to discuss things informally over dinner, whether that be mission strategies or their plans for movie night. But clearly Tony felt that this was too serious a conversation to be had so casually and he didn’t know if the presence of Coulson should concern him or intrigue him.

“Ok Tony, you have the floor.” The Captain encouraged and the Engineer nodded gratefully in response.

“So first things first I suppose… With everything that’s changed recently, kid on the way, me getting old…”

“Don’t pull that old crap again,” Natasha interrupted. “You’re forty-six not sixty and you still press more than Clint.” Natasha said.

“That’s debatable!” Clint scoffed.

“Suck it up Clint.” Tony said nonchalantly.

“Your form is bullshit Stark!” The archer protested.

“Still got 5lb more than you did and didn’t need Steve to rescue me from under the bar.” Tony boasted.

Steve shook his head at the exchange. “Tony, if it comes to age, I don’t think you can talk on this one. I’m technically 97.” Steve shrugged.

“That’s bullshit.” Clint scoffed. “The ice bit totally doesn’t count.”

“And I have seen over 1500 summers Stark, yet I am in my prime.” Thor added, somewhat unhelpfully.

“Thor I don’t think we can apply that Asgardian logic to a human lifespan.” Bruce chuckled.

“Yes, I suppose. That is true.” Thor conceded.

“Besides Tony, you say age, I say experience.” Steve said sincerely, determined for the Engineer not to add middle age to his surprisingly long list of personal insecurities.

“Aww Steve.” Tony cooed and Bruce chuckled, rubbing his temples.

“Anyway,” Bruce prompted, “what is it you were going to say?”

Tony’s face straightened quite suddenly from the light and happy expression it had worn just moments ago. There was a beat of silence as the Billionaire ran his tongue over his teeth and took a preparatory breath. “I’m thinking of taking a step back, both from the Avengers, and from being Iron man.”
“Wait, what?” Clint balked, face paling. The Billionaire suddenly had everyone’s full attention as the sea of shocked face looked up at him, displaying a mixture of emotions.

“I’m not talking about hanging up the suit,” Tony said firmly, “not by any means, I’m just talking about sitting out the more routine missions and ditching some of the background stuff.” Tony clarified. “This job is dangerous, we all know that, and it never really bothered me before - but as important as what we do is, I don’t want my daughter to grow up without a Father.  I want to spend the time with her that she deserves from me and to do all of that I’ve got to take a few of the plates I’m spinning out of the equation.” He explained and the expressions of his friend’s started to soften in realization. “I’m already delegating more to R&D,” He continued, “and trying to stick my nose in less – trust my people to do their own jobs.”

“Wonder how long that’ll last.” Clint scoffed.

“Well, I said ‘trying’.” Tony chuckled in agreement, then spoke more sincerely once more. “I’ll still be there when you need to bring out the big guns, you still need me after all, let’s be honest.” He smirked and both Clint and Natasha rolled their eyes.

“We get it Tony, totally.” Steve smiled. “And you are right, we do need you, but we can also do without you from time to time.”

“I agree wholeheartedly Stark.” Thor smiled. “You’ve earned your rest and you daughter will need you; the planet owes you a life of your own and so much more.”

“Thanks pointbreak.” Tony said, his voice breaking a little in well concealed emotion. Natasha almost rolled her eyes again – men honestly – she had no such qualms about expressing sentiment and as such walked straight up to the man and wrapped him a hug.

“I’m proud of you Tony.” She said quietly into his ear. “And we’ll all be here to help, whatever you need.”

“Thanks Tash.” Tony whispered back as they broke the embrace.

“Is that the second announcement then?” Natasha smiled wryly, talking so the whole room could hear.

“What?” Tony asked, genuinely non-plussed.

“You said your daughter, Tony.” Bruce smiled broadly.
Tony paled. “Oh shit, Pepper’s going to kill me.” Tony hissed, slapping his own face. He sighed, “but I suppose the cat’s out, so yes - we found out yesterday that we’re having a little girl.”

“That’s great news.” Steve beamed and it was matched equally by Thor, who looked utterly delighted.

“Trust me Tony, that is good news, little boys are a nightmare.” Clint chuckled jestingly, giving him a supportive pat on the shoulder.

“So what is the second announcement then?” Thor asked.

Tony nodded, a small smile gracing his face. “J, send Petey in would you?”

“Of course Sir.”

“So… you all know about my intern?” Tony checked.

“We’ve not all met, but yes.” Steve confirmed.

“Hi Peter.” Bruce greeted as the young man walked in nervously, moving quickly to stand, uncertainly, by Tony’s side.

“Hi Bruce…” He said, the nerves dropping a little as he saw a friendly face, but quickly returning as he looked up at the other Avengers, “and eh… hello everyone.” He said, shakily.

“So, Pete, do you want to tell them or should I?” Tony asked quietly, addressing Peter as if they were the only two in the room.

“I’m sorry Mr…” Tony raised an eyebrow at the formality and Peter quickly corrected himself. “Tony, but would you?”

“I got you kid.” Tony smiled, putting an arm around the kid’s shoulders. “So, Peter isn’t just my intern.” He started. “I do want to stress that he is my intern and he got there on his own brains, but he’s also a bit more than that.”

“Jesus Christ, please don’t tell me he’s your actual kid too.” Clint blurted out

“No, what the fuck Clint?” Tony balked.

“Language!” Steve scolded

“Well you know, one night stands sometimes lead to…” he gestured, “and you had a lot of those so…”

 Tony rolled his eyes and Natasha slapped the archer round the back of the head, much to his chagrin.

“Shut up birdbrain.” Tony sighed. “Peter ain’t my kid, but he is Spider-man.”

“Spider-man? Seriously?” Clint balked, turning to Peter for an answer.

“Yeah…” Peter said nervously, looking up to Tony.

“How old are you kid?” Steve asked.

“Fifteen, sixteen in August.” Peter swallowed.

“That’s really impressive kid.” Steve said sincerely.

“So that suit is your tech.” Bruce said knowingly, looking at Tony. He’d noticed the suit in the videos of the young hero online and had some suspicions for a few weeks now. It had looked remarkably like some of the fabric Tony had been working with recently in his early stages development of what he hoped would become nanotech.

“It is,” Tony admitted, “but Peter developed a lot of things himself - the web-shooters for one - I just increased his budget a bit.”

“A bit? By like… a lot, Mr. Stark.” Peter scoffed.

“Yeah, idiot was in a red and blue hoody before.” Tony rolled his eyes. “At least you’re now a little bit bullet proof.”

“Well, what was I supposed to do?” Peter protested. “I make like $8 an hour afterschool.”

“Every hero needs a sponsor.” Natasha smiled. “And you couldn’t ask for a better one than Tony Stark.”

“Well I am in the top hundred richest people in the world… just.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about Tony and you know it.” Natasha scolded, fondly.

“So Peter, are you joining the Avengers?” Steve asked, looking as much to Tony as to the boy, wondering if that was the purpose of this meeting.

“Oh god, no, jees I’m not ready for that yet.” Peter spluttered. “I’m just a kid from Queens trying to help out, that’s all. Like anyone else would.”

Tony smiled “I had offered it to him actually, but he turned it down. Surprised the hell out of me.” Tony scoffed.
“Wise head.” Bruce nodded, impressed.

“You undersell yourself kid.” Steve countered. “It’s not just what anyone would do Peter, believe me. You want to believe that people would step up to stop a fight, but they don’t – for whatever reason, whether they’re scared, or think it’s not their business… whatever, my point is that it takes a special type of person to do what you do.”

“I don’t know…” Peter shrugged, cheeks coloring.

“I mean it.” Steve said sincerely. “I’ve seen the footage, we all have, and you’re an untrained fifteen-year-old taking on hardened criminals – armed criminals – to keep your city safe. That takes a lot of bravery.” Steve said honestly. “And I think you’re right not to want to be an Avenger yet. Your powers are pretty amazing, no doubt there, and you definitely would fit right into the team, even today, but being an Avenger isn’t just your everyday superhero gig. You’re fifteen and you shouldn’t be looking to potentially wade into an intergalactic war. Most kids your age would probably think its fun and exciting and dangerous – and it certainly is dangerous – but not any of those other things.”

 “Take it from me kid,” Clint agreed, “I’m a trained agent, but having had to fight for the planet twice - it’s not something I ever want to have to again. It’s the most terrifying, harrowing thing you can imagine and I’m not saying you couldn’t deal with that, but I’m saying you don’t ever want to have to.”

Peter nodded vehemently. “I don’t want to fight,” he said earnestly, “I certainly don’t want fight in a war, and I can’t see in any way that war seems like fun. I’ve lived in New York all my life and I’ve remember the wars your guys have fought it – they were horrible and I’m in no rush to have to do that, but I will fight when I have to. When I see something wrong I have to stop it, I can’t just stand by. I’ve been given these amazing powers that I could do anything with, but I have a responsibility now, to fight for the people who can’t fight for themselves.” He said, looking at his hands. “I don’t want to go to war, but I wouldn’t hesitate if that’s what I needed to do to keep people safe.”

“Jesus Christ, he’s like a mini Steve.” Coulson said, taken aback, speaking for the first time in the whole meeting.

“Aww Papa Stark looks so proud.” Clint cooed, drawing attention to the look of pride and awe on Tony’s face as he stared at the kid.

“Shut up Feathers.” Tony growled. “And I am proud of you Peter.” He said genuinely. “Although I hardly have any right to be. I didn’t raise you, your Aunt did that, but even she can’t take all the credit either. You’re old enough to make your own decisions and the one’s you are making are mature beyond your years – that’s down to you. You should be very proud of yourself Pete.” He said sincerely and the young man stared up at him in amazement.

“That’s not all true, Mr. Stark.” Peter countered. “You have taught me a lot Tony. I mean yes, I’ve known you six months and Aunt May ten years, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t had an impact. I’ve learnt so much from you, both as your intern and about being a hero. Before I met you I probably would have jumped at the chance to be an Avenger, you made me realize that being a kid – that growing and learning and taking things slow is important too. Your daughter is going to have the best Dad ever.” He finished, hugging his mentor and Tony couldn’t help the tears that pricked his eyes. He ruffled his hand through Peter’s hair fondly.

“Thank you kid.” He said sincerely. “But Jesus all of you, please stop this before I start friggin’ crying.”

“Language Tony. There’s young ears.” Steve scolded.

“Don’t worry about it, Mr. Captain America, at high school swearing is kind of like a sport. I’ve heard it all.”

Steve went pale. “I’m… I’m appalled.” He stuttered.

“Different era Stevie.” Tony chuckled.

“And its Steve.” The Captain said. “Avengers or not, we’re just people, and you’re one of us now, so it’s first names.” He told Peter.

“Gave him that talk already. Still calls me Mr. Stark every 5 minutes.” Tony scoffed and Peter’s cheeks colored again.

“Ignore them.” Natasha rolled her eyes “You just be you Peter, that’s all we ask and there’s no judgment here.” She smiled.

“So, is Peter the extra person coming for Dinner?” Steve asked.

“Yes.” Tony nodded. “If you want to?” He asked Peter.

Peter’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, yes, that would be amazing! But I don’t want to be any trouble.”

“No trouble kid, it’ll be a pleasure to have you.” Bruce assured him.

“Phil, you staying?” Tony asked.

“Yes, I have some time and we have more things to discuss later regards the transition.” The Agent reminded him.

“Ah yes.” Tony nodded. “Speaking of me stepping back, I’ve discussed it with Fury and Phil here is going to be the ‘new me’ in a way.”

“I’m certainly not the new you,” Phil scoffed, “But I will be taking over the management and logistics of the team, working with you all and Tony to keep things running smoothly.”

“It’ll be great to see more of you.” Natasha smiled.

“Definitely.” Steve agreed. “Now what do we want for Dinner? I never got around to planning anything.”

“Pepper’s coming too, and the current craving is Mac ‘n’ Cheese.” Tony informed them, checking his phone. “She’s going to be in a bad mood because she’s just had a meeting with that douche-canoe from Asano Robotics, so best not to talk shop once she gets here.”

“Noted.” Steve nodded. “Mac and Cheese it is then.” Steve said dutifully, smiling broadly. Tonight was going to be a good night.

…

Tony was in a bad mood. He was worried; it felt like he’d been perpetually on edge for the past three weeks – stood on the edge of a cliff from which it would be so easy for him to fall and tumble into the dark and painful abyss of a panic attack. Somehow he’d managed to stave it off, but he was starting to fee like that having one would have been better – at least it would have been over quickly and not keeping him in this constant state of near crippling anxiety.  But that was his choice; he had to hang on, he couldn’t worry Pepper, especially now. She was three days past her due date and incredibly snippy. He couldn’t blame her; she was beyond ready to get this baby out of her and incredibly uncomfortable being so heavily pregnant. Her mood was only made worse by her having been off work with nothing to do for the past two weeks – it was the sensible move but like her partner she needed to be busy in order to be content, but now that she struggled to even get out of the chair she felt useless.

Tony had tried to be the doting fiancée, to do everything he could to make things better for her but had soon learnt that the best thing he could do, short of reading her mind, was stay the hell out of the way because it seemed that everything he did was a constant source of frustration to her.

Tony hated feeling useless and that’s what he felt right now, utterly and completely useless. He wanted – needed – to be there for Pepper, but he wasn’t needed or wanted by her apparently and that felt shit. Natasha was the chosen company for Pepper at the moment, it seemed that there were some things that only women could understand, and Pepper’s raging pregnancy hormones seemed to be one of them.

Meanwhile, alone in the lab, all the possible worse case scenarios were running through Tony’s head, calculating and re-calculating the risks to the one person he couldn’t live without and their unborn child. He was trying to keep his mind occupied to stop the worrying, so he was currently enthralled in the nanotech development. He was so damn close, yet also a world away for achieving what he wanted to with the suit if today’s progress was anything to go by. He’d made a big leap forward earlier but was currently bashing his head against an infuriating roadblock, which was only fueling the growing frustration and anxiety roiling under his skin.

The ache in his chest that he’d woken up with, or more accurately got up with - sleep hadn’t been so easy of late - was now getting borderline unbearable and breathing felt a little more difficult than it usually did. Apparently stress coupled with a bad day on the arc reactor front was not a pleasant combination. He rested his head on the desk and tried to calm his racing heart. He was starting to feel sick.

“Sir, I would strongly suggest taking a break. You are not well.” Jarvis said, his synthetic voice laced with concern.

Tony nodded into the metal. The AI was right of course, and he wasn’t really in the mood to argue. He felt like shit and he just wished he could turn his head off for a few hours, but he was too wired to sleep. But J was right, he needed out of here.

“Do you require assistance, Sir?” Jarvis asked, worry only mounting in his tone.

“I’m ok J.” Tony sighed, getting to his feet. He didn’t really remember moving to the elevator or asking Jarvis to take him to the communal floor, but he must have. He was more preoccupied with the ache in his chest and the effort it took to breathe.

“Tony?”

“Hey Clint.” The Engineer greeted, hoping his voice didn’t sound as weak as it felt.

“Hey, hey, you ok? You look terrible.” Clint said, taking in the ill pallor of Tony’s skin.

“I’m fine.” Tony sighed, fighting the urge to squeeze his eyes shut against the pain.

“Woah, easy Buddy.” Clint’s concerned hand was suddenly gripping his shoulder, which was strange, because he didn’t feel particularly unstable, but he obviously appeared so to the Archer. “No you’re not, talk to me.” Clint said, forcing Tony to look him in the eye.

“How’s Pepper?” Tony said instead of answering.

“Nice deflection, but I asked my question first.” Clint said sternly.

“I’m fine birdbrain, the reactor’s just being an ass.” He sighed wearily.
“It’s hurting?” Clint asked, momentarily checking that the light was glowing strong and steady and breathing in relief when he saw it was.

“Like a bitch.” Tony huffed.

Clint nodded. “Do you need painkillers?” He offered.

“They don’t really touch it, but honestly its nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix.”

“Yeah, well take it easy buddy.” Clint said gently, the lines of concern written in his face and his eyes conveying his empathy. “And to answer your question; she went to bed a little while ago. I think she misses you.”

“Yeah, well I’ll head up there, see if she wants company or if I’ll be sleeping on the couch again.” He chuckled. Pepper had kicked him out a few times over the past week, apparently his body heat felt like a furnace and became unbearable to her after a few hours.

“You’re not sleeping on a couch tonight Tony; you have a thousand guest rooms so if Pepper needs space use one and get some proper rest.” Clint said firmly. “Don’t make me tell Steve.” He warned.

“Jesus, you don’t have to tell Steve, I don’t need team overprotective on the case again.” Tony groaned.

“Well, get some rest then, Jarvis will tell me if you’re being stubborn and self-destructive, won’t you Jarvis?”

“Absolutely.” The voice from above agreed.

“Fine.” Tony agreed, with a weak smile. “Thanks Clint.”

“No worries Tony, look after yourself.”

The pain had subsided a little by the time he got to their bedroom and he knocked just in case Pepper was sleeping.

“Tony?” Came the questioning voice through the door and the Billionaire took it as an invitation to enter.

“Hey Pep, how you feeling?” He asked gently.

“I feel like a whale, but otherwise I’m fine.” She chuckled. “Honestly I never thought I’d fall for all this pseudoscience crap, but if this Baby doesn’t show itself soon I’ll eat the spiciest curry I can find in the hope it induces labor.” She huffed.

“I’m sorry Hun, I know it sucks – well, I don’t know, know, but I can imagine.” He said sympathetically, sitting on the bed beside her. “Do you need anything?” He asked, knowing that if he got into bed now he would not be capable of getting out of it until morning.

“No, thank you, she smiled, stroking a thumb over his cheekbone and flicking on the bedside lamp. She started a little as the light flooded Tony’s face and the Engineer squeezed his eyes shut as they adjusted to the onslaught. “Tony, sweetheart, are you ok? You look pale.” She asked in concern.

“Fine.” Tony said simply, divisively.

“Honey you’re shaking.” Pepper said, aghast, her fingers suddenly running through his hair and across his face. He hadn’t realized it, but he was indeed trembling slightly – just the smallest of tremors that was probably more thanks to too much caffeine and lack of sleep than it was feeling unwell.

“Nothing to worry about Pep, I promise.” He said, tiredly but sincerely, kicking himself for making her worry. Stress was bad for her and the baby, especially so close to term.
“No, don’t do that.” Pepper said firmly. “I know you want to protect me from worrying, but I need you to talk to me. I’ll only worry more if you brush me off and don’t give me a straight answer. So what’s wrong, you’re really pale, are you ill?”

Tony shook his head. “I’m fine really, it’s just my chest.”

“The reactor is bothering you?” She asked knowingly. She’d been mortified when she’d first learned that the reactor never stopped aching, some days being worse than others; Tony reported that most days the pain was completely bearable, but none the less, the thought of him having been in constant pain from the moment it had been put in, hurt her. There were days, thankfully rare ones, where the pain was bad enough that Tony just wouldn’t get out of bed and she suspected by the fatigue in his eyes and deep creases in his forehead that he was currently experiencing similar levels to one of those days.

“It’s just bad today,” he sighed, “I think anyway.”

“You think?” Pepper questioned, knowing that his hesitancy meant there was more to this. “You’re getting stressed again aren’t you?” She deduced.

“Can’t help it.” Tony bit his cheek.

“I know.” She smiled sadly, carding her fingers through his hair soothingly. “I’m scared too, but we’re both going to be ok Tony, the risks are…”

“3.86% currently,” he interrupted.

“Tony.” Pepper scolded.

“Can’t turn it off.”

“I know.” She sighed kissing him on the forehead. “Take a sleeping pill?”

“In a little while yeah, it’s too early.” Tony agreed. He needed so desperately to sleep that he wasn’t going to protest, but it was 6pm and he didn’t want to be waking in the early hours of the morning.

“Ok, thank you.” Pepper smiled, pulling him close into her side. “I’m sorry I’ve been a bit of a bitch today.”

“No you haven’t.” Tony countered immediately, appalled that she would feel that way.

Pepper shook her head. “I know I’ve been moody, and I know I push you away a lot. It’s not anything you’ve done Tony, I don’t want you to feel like its your fault, because it’s not.”

“It’s not your fault either Pepp, you can’t help your hormones. You’re growing a whole other human inside of you after all.”

“No, I can’t control my hormones, but I can control my reaction to them and I’ve not being doing the best job of that lately. I have taken a lot of it out on you, which isn’t fair.” She said sadly.

“That’s what I’m here for.”

“No it’s not.” Pepper denied, thwacking lightly round the back of the head. “You’re the love of my life, not my punching bag.” She chuckled at the irony.

“I don’t mind Pepper and I’m not upset.” Tony said sincerely. “You’re giving me a daughter and that’s more than I ever dreamed of for myself. I don’t even want to imagine how hard it is to be pregnant so whatever way you need to cope is fine by me.”

“You’re so understanding.” She sighed “I need you to know that Tony, you couldn’t have been better through this whole damn pregnancy and I can’t wait to see you become an amazing Father.” She smiled. “I don’t mean that as a pressure, it’s a promise. You’re already doing a great job with Peter and I know you still have your hang ups about your Dad, and that’s ok, but I have no doubt you’ll be incredible.”

Tony smiled weakly. Just as he opened his mouth to reply Jarvis interrupted with a message that made his heart shudder.

“Sir, I have received a distress signal from Karen.”

If Tony was pale before, Pepper now saw the color completely drain from his face.

“Get the suit ready J.” Tony said darkly, fear and urgency clear in his tone.

“Karen?” Pepper asked, desperately worried but not understanding.

“The AI in Peter’s suit, he called it Karen.” Tony was on his feet in an instant, grabbing the under-armor from his dresser and pulling it on swiftly. “Will you be ok if I…” He gestured.

“Go.” Pepper said urgently, sitting up sharply. “Jarvis is he ok?” She asked, frantically.

“Karen is malfunctioning, I have no more information.”

“Please be careful Tony.” She begged.

“I will. I promise.” He said sternly, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead.

“Bring him home safe.” She asked and he nodded, disappearing out the door.

“Sir I would not recommend operating the suit.” Was the first thing Jarvis said to him once he left the room. The AI was probably right, he was hardly on top form right now but screw that. Peter was in trouble and that was just about his worst nightmare coming true at this point.

“Shut up and do it J.” Tony ordered and seconds later he was enveloped in red and gold armor.

…

Peter hit the ground hard. Usually that didn’t bother him so much, he was pretty damn strong after all, but this time he was met by a sharp stab of pain and the wind was knocked out of him, making it difficult to breathe for a moment. He’d fallen from the roof of a twenty-story building; if he was normal he would be dead right now and he was incredibly grateful that he wasn’t. What was more concerning was why he’d fallen. He’d been chasing off some guys who were breaking into a warehouse on 31^st Avenue in Flushing – you know, your run of the mill friendly neighborhood Spider-man gig – or so he thought. The idiots had run up the fire escape of a tenement building, heading for the roof in their effort to escape – pah, imbeciles! Didn’t they know they were running from Spider-man? He was like, the king of climbing stuff. He cornered them on the roof, but then one of them turned around with this weird canon thing and everything in Karen’s HUD had lit up red before the guy fired it. The whole suit had shut down like it been fried by an EMP, but Tony had EMP proofed everything he made so it couldn’t have been simple tech. In fact, now he thought about it, it had looked pretty alien. He was so distracted, shocked and confused by the sudden shutdown that he hadn’t noticed one of the men run at him and before he knew it he’d been pushed off the roof - and his Web shooters were fried. With no means of stopping his fall he’d slammed into the ground in the alley below and now he could hear the sound of footsteps on the fire escape as his attackers came for him, only a few floors away from reaching the ground too.

Peter forced himself to sit up, groaning as pain radiated through his side. Had he broken something? His ribs were screaming, and every breath stabbed. Moving hurt, his arm wouldn’t take his weight and that was weird – it didn’t hurt but somehow he just knew he couldn’t use it.

“Karen?” He tried but there was nothing but the spritzy, frazzled sound of static that sounded like it should have been words but wasn’t. Karen was gone, he was on his own and now the three guys had jumped back into the alley and were advancing on him with pieces of scaffolding.

But they never got close. The sudden familiar roar of repulsors rattled through the alley. A red and gold blur slammed into the first figure at high speed, sending him flying with a crunch that Peter imagine was the sound of bone breaking. He winced, but also internally cheered. Don’t piss off Papa Stark, he thought smugly to himself as the other two were slammed into the walls of the alleyway with extreme prejudice by blasts from the repulsors.

“Peter. Peter are you ok?” Tony’s helmet was off seconds after Peter’s attackers had been dispatched and his mentor was crouching by his side.

“I’m ok Mr. Stark, honest, just a bit banged up.”

“What happened?” Tony demanded.

“That guy had some alien EMP type thing, I think, and the suit went dead. It distracted me and I got pushed off the roof. My web shooters were fried so I hit the floor pretty hard.”

“Ok, stay still,” Tony told him, “Jarvis, scan him and run diagnosis on the spider-suit.” Tony ordered.

Peter did as he was asked, but as his attention turned away from his own pain and to Iron Man in front of him he realized he wasn’t the only one not looking so good right now. “Are you ok Mr. Stark, you don’t look too great?”

“Kid, you’ve just fallen twenty stories and you’re asking me if I’m ok?” Tony smirked.

“Yeah, but seriously.”

“You picked a hell of a day to get yourself in trouble, that’s all I’ll say,” Tony sighed. As the adrenaline started to wear off the pain in his chest was starting to mount again; that and the sick feeling that now penetrated right to the pit of his stomach. Peter was ok, he told himself. That’s all that mattered, Peter was fine…

“You look like you’re going to hurl Mr. Stark.” Peter said, dubious of Tony’s self-diagnosis of ‘fine’.

“I’m not.” Tony assured him. “You’ve broken your collarbone kid, cracked a rib and bruised a few others, but you got off pretty damn lightly.”

“I thought my arm felt weird.” Peter noted. “Thank you Mr. Stark and I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to be a nuisance or stress you out.”

“Don’t you apologize for that kid, ever. You ever even think you need help I don’t want you to worry about that shit you just call me, any time, day or night, you got it? Better to call me and not need me than the other way around, you hear?”

“Yes Mr. Stark I’ve got it.”

“I’m just so glad you’re ok Kid.” Tony sighed in relief, hugging Peter gently, mindful of his injuries.

“Tony!” Steve’s worried voice came from down the alleyway. Captain America was in full battle gear and likely not the only Avenger Jarvis had sent after him as back up. “Is he ok?”
“He’s going to be fine.” Tony confirmed, relief coursing through him at being able to say those words. “A few broken bones, but that’s nothing to you supers, hey.” Tony smirked at Peter reassuringly. “Couple of days kid and you’ll be good as new.” He promised.

“What am I going to tell May?” Peter groaned.

“You focus on you for now, I’ll worry about your Aunt.” Tony assured him. “It’s Friday right? So maybe I can convince her to let you stay for a weekend science camp and you should be fixed up by Monday.”

“Ok, thank you.” Peter sighed in relief.

“Tony I’ve got him you have to go.” Steve said urgently as he reached their sides.

“No I don’t I’m staying with the kid.” Tony frowned.

“No Tony, you’re not!” Steve insisted.

“Why?” Tony growled.

“Pepper’s water just broke.” Steve barked and Tony’s heart lurched for the second time today. “She’s in labor.”

…

It was astounding how his entire world flipped on its head in a single moment. It had happened before so many times through the years, but somehow no single moment in his entire existence had changed him as much as this.

The instant that Pepper handed him the precious bundle time seemed to stop. It was love at first sight and so much more. It was devotion; an all-encompassing need to keep her safe. Her – his daughter. It was hope and joy and overwhelming fear. A fear to even touch her - such a small and fragile and precious thing - that he might break her and yet, he yearned to hold her close and tight and never let her go.

Those eyes – too big yet for the head that would grow into them – held such wonder. They looked around the room, taking it all in with amazement, looking from face to face as if to say ‘well, who are you then?’. Then they looked up at him, really looked, and he couldn’t look away. Fear grasped at him, what did she think of him? Would she like him? She seemed to consider for a moment, but then came the smile that seized his heart forever.

 A tear rolled down his cheek, the only sign of the rollercoaster of emotion that roiled under his skin. From that second on he knew; there was nothing he wouldn’t do, no place he wouldn’t go – he would kill for her, die for her and all without hesitation, but most of all he would do everything in his power to make the world the best possible place for her to be. He would do everything to be the best possible person for his daughter. She was his world, his everything and no one would ever come close again.

…

[1] Котенок – Russian for Kitten