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Lan Zhan sighed softly, picking up his things and sliding the schoolbag on his shoulders. The moment he entered the busy high school hallway, chatter engulfed him and made him walk quicker, just a little bit, as was allowed. It would soon be too crowded in the main corridor, and he didn’t feel like bumping into anyone. Other students, usually, avoided him by a meter at least, intimidated by his cold and blank expression.
Except one.
“Lan Zhan!” he heard a yell, the loud noise startling a few students. As if on instinct, his rigid expression softened a tad bit and his pace slowed.
The boy was soon at his side, slightly panting. “How was Biology, Lan Zhan? Was it boring? No, of course not, you’re always paying attention. I don’t know how you do it, we had Mrs. Lair once and I almost fell asleep! Can you believe it?”
Lan Zhan barely suppressed a smile. “It is not unbelievable when it’s Wei Ying.”
The boy in question gasped in mock offence, grasping at his heart. “You! Lan Zhan!”
“Yes?” he replayed, his control wavering and his lips lifting, just a little bit. He cast a glance to his side just to see Wei Ying staring in astonishment at his mouth, intense. Lan Zhan shifted a little, fighting the warmth he felt on the tips of his ears. He couldn’t decide if he felt smug at making Wei Ying speechless or embarrassed at being stared at.
“Y-you…” We Ying stuttered eventually, blushing himself almost to the roots. He then mumbled a quick greeting and dashed away towards impatient Jiang Cheng, leaving Lan Zhan confused and endeared.
We Ying is very cute when he blushes, Lan Zhan decided.
Immediately after realizing his feelings, Lan Zhan found how hard it actually was to be in love.
It didn’t help that the one his heart ached for was a huge flirt as well.
Even after pining for more than two years, he still couldn’t suppress that ugly feeling coiling in the pit of his stomach. Jealousy, his mind helpfully supplied.
There Wei Ying was; beautiful and so, so far away, flitting around and complimenting giggling girls. Where other guys made the ladies uncomfortable, Wei Ying made sure they were pleased after his endless teasing. He was always at a respectful distance and his jokes weren’t inappropriate .And so, Lan Zhan couldn’t really blame them for blushing and nudging him playfully. After all, Wei Ying was everything anyone could wish for; charming, handsome, intelligent, playful, righteous, kind.
Nevertheless, the envy didn’t dissipate. It even intensified after seeing the other smile so invitingly at the group of teenage girls, so much that he had to turn away and make his way towards the changing rooms.
As soon as he got in, he let himself slouch (if uncle saw, he would be appalled) for a moment. He had, again, more than two years to sort his unwelcome feelings towards Wei Ying and diminish them at once. Intellectually, he knew that nothing would come out of them; his friend was a social butterfly, his complete opposite, and straight on top of that. They never breached the topic of queer community, and frankly, Lan Zhan felt fear at the thought of coming out to his best friend. He knew that Wei Ying wasn’t a person who would judge someone based on their sexuality, but this side of Lan Zhan was still carefully guarded from the outer world. Only his brother knew that he was gay, but Lan Huan was also in a relationship with a very scowling, buff man.
Well, that wasn’t so true. One other person knew as well.
“Are you pining again?” Nie Huaisang asked, coming out of the locker. Lan Zhan barely refrained from flinching and just raised an eyebrow.
Nie Huaisang shrugged. “You know I don’t like sweating and doing unnecessary physical exertion and that da-ge is forcing me to attend P.E most of the time. So, is Wei Ying flirting with girls again?”
Lan Zhan sighed, resigned. The said brother’s boyfriend also had a brother, and the two of them were more often than not forced to socialize at the family dinners. Nie Huaisang had, therefore, enough time to properly scrutinize Lan Zhan’s closed off face. For all that he pretended to be a fool, his perceptive skills were almost unparalleled, to his chagrin.
Nie Huaisang hummed, taking out one of his fancy fans. “Maybe you should tell him how you feel, perhaps?”
That finally got an answer out of him. Lan Zhan turned to the other, horrified. “No.”
Nie Huaisang had the audacity to roll his eyes. “I’m just saying. I think you’d be surprised, actually.”
Lan Zhan looked at him, doubtful and judging.
The other threw up his hands in surrender. “Fine, you don’t have to. But what’s the worst thing that could happen? If he rejects you, you can just never see each other again, if that’s what you want. We’re in our final year, and in just a few months everyone will be off to a different college. Really, it’s that simple.”
Lan Zhan knew that Huaisang was right. However, he couldn’t help but feel his heart rip at the thought of never seeing that bright smile again. He let his gaze fall down and faintly registered Huaisang leaving him alone to go to a bathroom.
There were moments when Lan Zhan would almost break and reach for Wei Ying, tug him closer and closer, wrapping him in a bone-crushing hug. He would close his eyes then, inhale the intoxicating smell of citrus in the other’s hair and whisper his feelings, finally letting the emotions spill. He would sometimes dream about Wei Ying hugging him back and enthusiastically peppering his face with kisses until his ears flushed a deep shade of red. In his fantasies, Wei Ying would tell him how he loved him back and cup his face tenderly. After that, they would kiss and intertwine hands, smiling softly at each other.
There were moments when Lan Zhan would catch something unreadable in the other’s eyes, and his heart would start beating wildly at that. However, in the next moment it would disappear, and Wei Ying would nudge him with a fist on the shoulder in a friendly way. Lan Zhan was disappointed and a little heartbroken every time that happened.
He shook his head. It was useless thinking about it; he didn’t want to risk his friendship with Wei Ying just because he was so hopelessly in love. If he could handle it this far, he could do it till the end of the time.
One of his classmates entered the changing rooms and made his way towards the second bathroom. It took Lan Zhan a moment to realize that both restrooms were occupied and that the class was ending soon.
That meant that Lan Zhan had to change here.
He barely refrained from groaning in his hands. It wasn’t like he was ashamed of his body; he took great care of himself, and it showed in the way his muscles were carefully maintained. His family was even known for admirable arm strength, courtesy of the numerous handstands they often did to center themselves.
He looked at his watch. He had close to ten minutes to change; thankfully, that was enough.
He turned his back to the room and slipped his oversized t-shirt over his head. He preferred it that way because the tighter ones were pretty uncomfortable when the fabric stretched. Just as he was looking for his other shirt, he heard a faint gasp from behind.
Instinctively, he turned around and came face-to-face with Wei Ying.
His usual reaction would be to cover himself as soon as possible. However, he stood there frozen as Wei Ying’s gaze unashamedly took every part of his torso in. His mouth was slightly open, and something unrecognizable flashed in his silver eyes, a touch darker than usual. Lan Zhan’s pulse quickened, his heart started beating at rabbit’s speed.
“Wei Ying?”
That finally shook the other, their gazes meeting. The almost tangible tension was broken when their classmate exited the restroom and looked at them weirdly.
“I… uh,” Wei Ying stuttered, distress and nervousness making a wrinkle between his pretty eyebrows. “I… just wanted to say… here, I got you this!”
He thrust Lan Zhan’s favorite granola bar at him, smiling sheepishly. “You looked down earlier, so I got you this to cheer you up!”
Lan Zhan’s face softened. Oh, Wei Ying. If only you knew.
It was only later that night that he replayed the scene in the changing room in his head. However, before he could reach a conclusion, his eyes closed and he fell asleep.
The facts were: Lan Zhan was in love, Wei Ying was straight, the result was obvious; end of the story. Right?
Turns out, Lan Zhan didn’t have correct information, and shouldn’t have assumed someone’s sexuality in the first place.
It was a normal Saturday. Lan Zhan was watching TikTok (he only made an account in the first place because of Wei Ying, the latter not knowing about it). The said boy became, after many innovative videos and a lot of pranks on his best friend Jiang Cheng, TikTok famous. He had more than two hundred thousand followers on the app, and published a video every two days.
Lan Zhan was just finished with dinner with his brother and mother when he came back to his room and checked his phone notifications. Wei Ying had already published a video.
Then, he moved from the camera, crouched down, and rolled up the bottom of his jeans.
The facts were: Lan Zhan was in love, Wei Ying was not straight after all, and his world tilted on its axis.
His phone fell out of his hands.
After a few minutes, he got a hold of himself and returned to the video, his hands maybe slightly shaking. With the tags #comingout and #bisexual, he clicked and went to the comment section.
bl_enthusiast: is this real?? when did u realize u were bi? we’ll support u no matter what <3
wei_ying (creator): thank u for your support! actually, it wasn’t so long ago that I realized what I felt for my friend wasn’t entirely platonic. +
wei_ying (creator): since then, I began exploring my sexuality and felt comfortable to share it with u guys!!
Wei Ying… likes someone?
The joy of finding out that his crush wasn’t actually straight, and the tiny hope of having a chance, was crushed in a mere second. He felt his eyes sting and quickly blinked. For some reason, the knowledge that your crush liked men, just not you in particular, broke his heart and stomped on the pieces. He burrowed himself beneath the sheets and cried silent tears.
His mother saw his face the following morning, swollen from crying and carefully blank, and called his uncle to tell him that he won’t be coming to the Sunday lunch with the Lan family. Even if she didn’t question him much, the knowing look in her eyes said that she knew what this was about. He remembered that his brother also followed Wei Ying on TikTok, to ‘keep an eye on him and make sure he’s good for my didi’.
Well, so much for that.
He felt grateful for his mother, even if he did feel guilty for skipping weekly lunch for the first time when he was not sick. However, he was not ready to pretend and be a good and poised Lan family member, so he didn’t object.
The morning passed quietly, and just before noon, the doorbell rang and his mother opened it. A moment later, she came to his room and smiled mysteriously, telling him that someone was waiting for him in front of his door. He frowned, confused, but came down anyways.
His breath hitched when he saw the person waiting on the entrance of the house. It was Wei Ying.
He was wearing a crimson red button-up and black pants, a few hairs escaping his ponytail. He looked at Lan Zhan and smiled softly, nervously, keeping his hands behind his back. Slowly, he showed his hands that held a bouquet of beautiful red roses.
There was a note on them. Lan Zhan stopped breathing.
“Hi, Lan Zhan! I’m sorry for bothering you on Sunday, but… to be honest, I couldn’t wait! I’m really scared of your reaction, but I hope you know that even if you say no, it won’t be a big problem, we can still continue being friends! Also, I know this isn't really original, but I felt like roses expressed my feelings best. I just really like you, and I feel like I will literally explode if I don’t tell you my feelings! I mean, you’re so kind and handsome and smart, and I’d really like to kiss you-“
Lan Zhan smiled a wide, rare smile, his heart full, and stopped Wei Ying’s ramblings with a passionate kiss.
The note “Will you go to prom with me?” fell down, but the two of them couldn’t care less.