Archive of Our Own ^beta

Roy stared at the eviction notice in his hands. He needed a drink, more than that he needed a hit. Across the room the puppies from “paw patrol” laughed at something Marshal did, reminding him exactly why he couldn’t have either. Lian already had a single father who couldn’t pay the bills and was going to end up on the streets, he couldn’t do that to her too.
A small part of him knew he could probably fall back on Dinah or Oliver before they ended up curled up on a street corner with a cardboard sign saying “help me feed my daughter” but the thought of crawling back to his ex foster parents that he had disappointed a million times already made him feel like even more of a failure than he already was.
Hoping to find something to take the edge off his cravings he pulled a tub of gummy worms out of the cupboard and like a hawk suddenly his daughter was standing right in front of him.
“Can I have some too?” Lian asked looking up at him with a gap toothed grin.
“What makes you think you can have gummy worms? They’re all for me,” Roy teased.
Lian studied him skeptically for a moment before lowering her eyebrows at him. “No they’re not, your teasing.”
“Yeah I am,” he confirmed sitting down cross legged on the floor of the kitchen, not wanting to go look at the table full of bills he couldn’t afford to pay and popped the lid off. Lian seemed to take that as an invitation to sit down on his lap and started digging into the bucket. “Not too many Baby Girl, you don’t wanna get a stomachache.”
“I won’t,” she promised shoving three in her mouth at the same time so Roy wasn’t sure he believed her.
“Don’t choke, also, try savouring them,” he told her.
“Wadds havoring een?” She asked with a mouth full of gummies.
“What’s savouring mean?” Roy guessed grabbing one for himself. “It means eat slower so you can enjoy it longer, and don’t talk with your mouth full.”
“Can I have more?” Lian asked when she finished swallowing. “You’re having more!”
“This is my second one, you had three, this is why you savour,” Roy pointed out.
“But I’m four, one two three four,” Lian pointed out counting on her fingers. “Four year olds should have four candies. And I’m hungry.”
That was fairly solid logic he supposed, and he really didn’t have the energy to argue with her so he just helplessly shrugged and let her grab one more, and two more for himself before putting the lid on them and putting them back on the counter. No wonder she was hungry, usually if he could get his act together he served supper around this time.
“You look tired,” Lian said, brushing his long hair behind his ears. “Why don’t you go relax for a bit?”
“I can’t Lian,” Roy sighed, silently marveling at his daughter quoting him word for word when she had a long day and wishing more than anything he could go lay down in his bed for the next week. “I gotta make supper. Do you want cereal?”
“We had cereal yesterday,” she complained. “How about spaghetti?”
Spaghetti was pretty simple but Roy still wasn’t sure he had the energy to stand in front of the stove that long but he could probably work with something similar if that’s what she wanted. “How about alphagetti? I can heat it up for you in the microwave?”
“Okay Daddy,” she agreed, hugging his neck. Roy wrapped his arms around her, and for a moment the two just sat on the floor cuddling.
“Alright,” he said softly. “As much as I wish we could cuddle forever I need to get supper.”
“I can help,” Lian offered.
“Sure,” Roy smiled. “Why don’t you grab a bowl while…” Just then the sound of a window opening in Lian’s room came and Roy was on his feet in a moment, gently but insistently pushing his daughter behind him. He briefly debated ordering her to stay here, but what if whoever was in her room was a distraction and someone else was waiting for him to leave Lian alone? Not sure what else to do he motioned for her to be quiet, grabbed his bow and quiver with one hand and led her with him to her room with the other hand.
“Uncle Dick!” Lian exclaimed excitedly running around Roy and into Nightwing’s arms.
“Hey Kiddo, how’s it going?” He asked.
“Wonderful, Daddy and I had candy, do you want candy?” She asked.
“No more candy Lian, you won’t eat your supper,” Roy told her.
“You haven’t had supper yet?” Dick asked, taking his domino off with one hand since Lian was still clinging to his other hand.
In answer Roy just shrugged. No of course not, he was a shit parent who let his kid eat candy to hold her over before supper, and then served it late because he didn’t possess the energy to make it on time.
“Okay cool, well I guess I’m here for supper then,” Dick shrugged, spinning Lian around like she was a ballerina causing her to giggle. “What are we having?”
“Alphagetti!” Lian grinned. “Do you wanna see the picture I drew? I’ll go get it.”
With that she darted out of the room and Roy used that opportunity to glare at him. “What are you doing here? You can’t use the front door?”
“Would you have answered if I had?” Dick asked.
Roy probably would’ve said more but then Lian ran back into the room with her crayon drawing so Roy settled on glaring at him before going to heat up the food, and no he wasn’t making enough for three, uninvited guests brought their own food or they didn’t eat.
Later once Lian was safely tucked into bed he collapsed on the couch and glared at his self invited guest. “Why are you here?”
“No one has seen or heard from you in a month, Oliver and Dinah said you were ignoring their calls, you’ve been ignoring texts from the rest of the titans, I was concerned so I came to ask what was up?” Dick shrugged.
“Nothing is up, I’m fine, l’m not using again if that’s what you’re concerned about,” Roy snapped.
“Yeah that’s not really what I was asking, that’s good though I mean it can’t be easy, but why are you living in self imposed exile?” Dick asked. “Plus, I saw the eviction notice, and the overdue power bill, and past due water bill.”
“I didn’t say you could touch my mail,” Roy snapped.
“I didn’t really touch it, it was just there on the table,” Dick shrugged. “Sorry. So why are you broke?”
“You try being a single parent with a criminal record! It’s not easy,” Roy snapped. Dick just nodded in a understanding way and waited for him to continue.
“I lost my job,” he finally admitted, his head sinking down into his hands. “I got fired because I misread the schedule and missed my shift. Now no one will hire me. I’m probably too much of a risk or something, I don’t know.” A moment later he jumped up and grabbed the tub of gummy worms and started eating them at a rate that would’ve made Lian proud.
“Okay, so you’re pushing everyone away because you’re embarrassed you don’t have a job?” Dick asked.
“I screw everything up, I swear I don’t wake up in the morning like ‘hey Roy, what’s the best way you can fuck up your life today?’ It just sorta happens. I stumble onto ways to fuck up my life and l do them all,” he moaned shoving a handful of gummies into his mouth. (Oh that’s where Lian got it from… he couldn’t even set a good example on how to properly eat junk food. What could he do?)
“Okay,” Dick said slowly, stealing one of his gummies. “But you haven’t fucked everything up. You still have a house at the moment, you’ve got a beautiful daughter who thinks the world of you, you’re a great dad, you’ve been clean for what? Five years now? So you’ve made mistakes along the way. Who hasn’t? The important thing is that you get up. Also, why haven’t you asked for help? That eviction notice clearly states you need it.”
“Maybe I don’t wanna be a failure all the time! Don’t think I don’t know how you all look at me waiting for the other shoe to drop,” Roy snapped. “‘Oh look Roy Harper screwed up again, poor Lian needs more stable parents it’s just not right. Anyway did you catch the game last night?’”
“No one looks at you like that, and if they do I will kick their ass for you. Until then, why can’t you ask Oliver for a loan?” Dick asked.
“I haven’t exactly talked to him in a while,” Roy admitted. “I mean, I guess I talk to him, but like I’m not his kid, just some kid he took in, that got a drug and alcohol problem a few years later. Then ran away because the streets were better than living with him and got a villainess pregnant and became a father at seventeen.”
“Seriously?” Dick asked.
“Well, no, that’s just what I told him. I only came crawling back because I was half dead and had a kid on the way. Him and Dinah got me into a rehab, helped me get back on my feet, let me stay in their basement when Lian was a newborn. They did a lot, but at the end of the day, I’m just a kid they fostered for a couple years before running away. There’s gotta be a limit to their charity right? Plus I told them I could stand on my own two feet, and now I gotta tell them I can’t?” Roy said.
“Right, I get it, you already had a dad, don’t need new parents, and so they can just lay off and let you live your life even though they basically raised you for half your childhood and you still wanna make them proud, and your worried if you admit you screwed up they won’t be proud,” Dick nodded.
“Don’t self project onto me,” Roy complained around a mouth full of gummies. “This isn’t you and Bruce!”
“Course it’s not, but am I wrong?” He shrugged.
“Fuck you,” he snapped.
“You swear a lot when Lian’s not around. Do you just like hold it all in and the second she’s out of earshot it just comes spewing out?” Dick asked.
“Something like that,” Roy grumbled.
“Cool, you want my advice, call them. Like right now. The worst thing they’re going to say is no you can’t have any money, but I’m sure they’d rather you ask then try and fix it yourself and end up living in your car, or worse,” Dick said.
“Yeah but I don’t wanna feel like a charity case,” Roy argued.
“Then pay them back when you have the money,” Dick said. “Seriously do I have to call them for you? Because I will, on your phone, and hand you the phone while it is ringing.
Roy rolled his eyes and reached for another gummy worm before realizing they were gone and glared at the empty tub. “This is stupid.”
“Maybe, but honestly you miss one hundred percent of the chances you don’t take,” Dick shrugged.
“Fine,” he grumbled, stepping over to the other side of the room so he had the illusion of privacy in his extremely small apartment.
“Hey Roy, what’s up?” Oliver’s voice greeted him. “I was getting worried about you, how are you?”
“I’m broke,” he admitted breaking down as soon as he heard his voice. “My bank accounts are empty, there’s overdue notices, and my landlord gave me a 30 day eviction notice. I’m sorry, I swear I’m still clean, it’s just… I lost my job, and everything just piled up when I wasn’t looking and now I don’t have anything.”
“How much do you need?” He sighed.
“It’s not that simple! Don’t just throw your money around like you don’t need it and I’m some goodwill project!” Roy snapped. Why was he snapping at him? He needed money, like desperately!
“Okay, I’m putting you on speaker phone, Dinah’s here, Roy needs money but I’m not allowed to ‘throw my money around?’” Oliver said.
“Hey sweetie, we missed you! You could answer your phone once in a while, but passive aggressive comments aside, what are you asking for?” Dinah greeted.
“I don’t need anything,” Roy said quickly as Dick turned around on the couch to glare at him at the same time as Oliver said “that’s not what you told me.”
“Okay so I got an eviction notice because I can’t afford rent,” Roy said. “And I lost my job because I am an epic screw up.”
“When did you lose your job?” Dinah asked.
“Why did you lose your job?” Oliver added.
“I missed my shift, a couple months ago, I read the schedule wrong,” Roy said.
“A couple months ago!?” Dinah demanded. “Why are we just hearing about this now? I guess that explains why you’ve been missing or so long.”
“I didn’t want you to know! I was hoping I could get a new job and maybe it could come up in a passing conversation. That way you wouldn’t have to know that I screwed this up too,” Roy groaned, burying his face in his knees.
“Okay, but you know we’ll still love you right? You can’t get rid of us that easily,” Dinah pointed out.
“Well I know that, but I don’t wanna disappoint you again,” Roy mumbled.
“This is hardly the worst thing you’ve ever done,” Oliver said.
“That’s not helpful,” Dinah reprimanded. “And Roy of course were still proud of you, you called for help, that couldn’t have been easy.”
“Well actually Dick climbed into my apartment and forced me to so I don’t know if that counts,” Roy laughed wetly.
“In all due fairness I was thinking about it so props to him for actually doing it,” Oliver commented. “Either way, I think we both know if you really didn’t want to do something you wouldn’t, no matter who told you to do what, so still proud of you for asking for help.”
“More to the point are you looking for money or are you looking for a job? And do you want me to send you some jobs that might be a good fit?” Dinah asked.
“I don’t know,” Roy mumbled miserably.
“Why don’t I send you some cash, to help you get back on your feet,” Oliver said. “I could also offer you a job at Queen Consolidated, we’ve got a couple openings.”
“You don’t have too,” he muttered.
“No, but that’s the thing when you’re kids need help. You help them,” Oliver told him. “I know I've made mistakes in the past Roy but you’re still my kid.”
“Okay,” he muttered.
“‘Okay’? You need to tell him that more often he sounds like he’s trying to humor you,” Dinah complained.
“I’d like that, if I could get a job. Maybe a loan, just enough to hold us over then I’ll pay you back with the first paycheque.”
“You don’t need to pay us back but you can if it’ll make you feel better,” Oliver said.
“It’ll make me feel better,” he said.
“Okay, I’ll e-transfer you, and send you an application,” Oliver said. “While I got you on the phone I miss my granddaughter, you should bring Lian over.”
“I’m not exactly emotionally stable right now, like I just ate a whole tub of gummy worms and I am a bit of a hypocrite because I told Lian she wasn’t allowed, we also are living off of cereal and canned spaghetti that I cooked in the microwave.”
“Okay, well come on over, we have fruit and vegetables, plus food that’s not made in a microwave, and we can get you a new tub of gummy worms if you need it.”
“I guess that kinda sounds nice,” Roy nodded. “Lian would probably like that too.”