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It was the dead of night when Kunikida heard it. The faint buzzing of his cell phone that rested on the table beside his bed. Kunikida awoke with a deep grumble as he sat up slowly. He rubbed his temples as he reached for his glasses.
2:48 am shined with a dull red on his clock.
Kunikida plucked his phone up to examine who was calling him. Their ID was bright against his eyes, Kunikida squinted to read it.
Suicidal Maniac.
Dazai Osamu , Kunikida’s thoughts supplied. With a groan he pressed the accept button and held the phone against his ear.
“Hello?”
“-hic, Oh! You answered!”
“What is it, Dazai?” Kunikida frowned, “It’s nearly three am.”
“I… uh- miss you, haha,” There was a sound of rustling on the other end, “That’s, that’s why I called you. You don’t want me to call you? That’ll make me cry-,”
“Dazai are you okay?”
“Awh, you care- hic!”
“Are you…?” Kunikida paused for a second, “Are you drunk Dazai?”
“Ha… maybe? I uh, can’t tell anymore. I was drinking though! I think… Hold on-,”
Kunikida heard a clatter through the phone, then silence.
“Dazai? Hello? Are you okay?”
More muffled sound rang through his phone, “Sorry, I dropped my phone.”
“Where are you?”
“Why?”
Kunikda was already getting out of bed at this point, briskly moving to grab a coat. It was winter, the roads were icy and the air was crisp. Knowing him, Dazai was only wearing his long and thin beige jacket.
“I’m coming to get you, idiot,” Kunikida replied.
“What if I don’t want you to come?”
“I don’t care,” Kunikida pulled on his jacket, “Now where are you.”
“...”
“Dazai, please.”
“The bridge. Y’know… by Lupin’s bar.”
“Stay there,” Kunikida ripped his apartment’s door open and dashed outside.
“I’m coming.”
-
It was snowing.
Kunikda could see the puffs of air come out of his mouth each time he exhaled. His cheeks burned with the cold and his fingers were starting to feel numb. He cursed himself for not wearing gloves. No, he cursed Dazai for getting drunk in the middle of the winter and calling him to his rescue.
As Kunikida neared the bridge he first saw nothing. He felt his heart race for a moment before spotting a crouched figure leaning against the railway. Snow crunched beneath his feet as he dashed towards the familiar mess of dark brown hair.
“You moron,” muttered Kunikida before crouching down to kneel beside the other.
The man was asleep. Dazai was slouched against the rail, his feet outstretched on the sidewalk. He had his head rested against the cool metal and one arm causally across his lap. Of course, his usual bandages were wrapped around his neck and arms. Looking at him Kunikida could almost think he was handsome. Snowflakes decorated his hair and eyelashes and his cheeks were rosy.
Kunikida’s eyes widened upon further inspection.
His cheeks, which glowed red from the cold, had a bit of a shimmer to them, almost as if they had frozen over. Streaks lining his face, each stemming from his closed eyes. Tentatively, Kunikida reached out and gently touched the other’s face.
Had Dazai been crying?
The very thought sounded foreign to Kunikida. He bit his lip as he shook Dazai’s shoulder.
“Hey,” Kunikida gruffly said, “It’s time to wake up.”
Slowly, Dazai’s eyes blinked open. He seemed to meet Kunikida’s gaze in a dazed state.
He laughed, then slurred, “You’re not Chuuya.”
There was a pinch within Kunikida’s chest. Something unsettling and foreign. Kunikida didn’t know what it was, nor what it meant. He chose to ignore it.
“Get up,” Kunikida said.
“Haha… So cold,” Dazai mumbled, “Help me up.”
Kunikida lended Dazai a hand to stand on his feet, but the other was shaky on his legs and ended up tripping once more. Grimacing slightly, Kunikida wrapped Dazai’s arm around his shoulders.
“Dammit-,” Kunikida struggled to support Dazai’s weight on only one side, “Just- get on my back.”
Dazai laughed, “What?”
Kunikida grumbled before managing to have both of Dazai’s arms around his shoulders and his legs within his arms. In an instant Dazai was hoisted onto Kunikida’s back with a mere grunt.
“Oh,” Dazai dumbly said.
Kunikida sighed as he started to walk back down the street, “Where do you live?”
He felt Dazai’s head rest on his own arm and slightly against his neck.
“I’m so tired,” Dazai whispered, leaving Kunikida's question unanswered.
“Hey- don’t fall asleep again.”
But it was hopeless. Soon Kunikida felt the soft rhythmic breath of Dazai against his neck. Kunikida frowned once more. The feeling in his chest had only grown. It seemed to weigh Kunikida down along with Dazai and it left his mind questioning. What, exactly? He didn’t know himself.
They had arrived back at Kunikida’s apartment after a tiring walk up a flight of stairs. Unlocking his door, Kunikda huffed as he dropped Dazai onto his couch. He flicked on the lights and went to stand before Dazai.
“Dazai, wake up,” Kunikida said, “You’ll catch a cold if you sleep in wet clothes.”
“Mm…” Dazai mumbled.
Kunikida sighed, “C’mon, I’ll even lend you my bath.”
“I don’t want to,” Dazai hung his head low.
Gritting his teeth, Kunikida grabbed one of Dazai’s bandaged arms and pulled. Like a doll, Dazai was pulled into his feet. He had yet to meet Kunikida’s gaze since arriving at the apartment.
“Don’t make me undress you myself,” Kunikda huffed, as if he was a parent growing tired of his disobedient child.
As if suddenly snapping, Dazai slapped Kunikida’s arm away and was freed from his grasp.
“Why do you even care?!”
Another pinch in his chest.
Kunikida inhaled slowly, “You’re my co-worker. I don’t want you to get sick leaving me to pick up after you.”
“I see,” Dazai chuckled softly, “Fine then.”
Kunikida showed Dazai to his bathroom. As Kunikda began to run a bath, Dazai started to strip his clothes off, one layer after another until he was left in his underwear. Kunikida noticed the bandages around his arms were connected to the ones wrapped around his neck. Dazai didn’t unwrap the bandages.
“Take off your bandages, they’re wet as well,” Kunikida simply suggested.
Wordlessly, Dazai started to unravel his bandages. The white medical wrap slowly fell to the ground and left Dazai’s skin bare. Kunikida’s throat dried as his eyes glanced over Dazai’s exposed skin.
Scars along the inwards of his arms, some seemingly thick while others looked thin. There were also marks, almost like blotches, lined along his neck. Kunikida stood all too suddenly, eyes widened with shock.
“Dazai…”
“Hey Kunikida,” Dazai gripped one of Kunikida’s arms and swung the other towards the doorway. They stood face to face, Kunikida now standing in his bedroom with Dazai still in the bathroom. The bathroom’s light casted a warm light in the shape of a rectangle against his wood flooring, his and Dazai’s shadows blending in with the surrounding shadows.
Dazai slightly leaned in, Kunikida felt his breath hitch.
“Are you really doing all this just because I’m a co-worker?” Dazai smirked, it was menacing, “Or is there another reason?”
A moment of silence passed as Kunikda tried to wrap his head around the question.
Then calmly, Dazai leaned his head towards Kunikida and gently pressed his lips against his. His lips were soft, unlike what Kunikda thought they would be, and Dazai’s eyes were closed. It had happened so suddenly that Kunikida could only process that fact.
It had then struck him what Dazai was doing, and that feeling in his chest seemed to explode within him. Before Kunikda could even think to do anything else, Dazai was pulling back.
Stunned, Kunikida couldn’t even find the words to say to the man.
“I guess you were right,” Dazai said almost solemnly.
“Thanks for the bath.”
Dazai had closed the door then, leaving Kunikida to stare blankly at the shut door in the darkness of his room. He brought his fingers to his lips and tried to find the answer of why Dazai had done that.
He couldn’t.
Later, as he heard the bathroom door click open, Kunikda laid in his bed pretending to sleep. He heard the soft patter of Dazai’s steps go out the door. He had told him that he could crash on his couch for the night. After a while, only silence could be heard throughout the apartment.
Don’t think about it.
That’s what Kunikida repeated in his head. He tried to chase the slumber which could make him forget, but Kunikida was left wide awake in the dark for hours. By the time he got out of bed to prepare to leave for the Agency, Dazai was gone.
When the two met again in the office, Dazai acted as if the entire night hadn’t happened.
And so did Kunikida.