Chapter Text
They had been in their new home below New Jersey for less than a month when Jim approached Blinky, a curious yet shy expression on his blue face. “I know you’ve been terribly busy since we arrived”, he started, embarrassed, “but I was wondering if you had a moment to…”
“Ah, Master Jim!” Blinky interrupted him, not letting him finish his question and patting him strongly on the back with two of his hands. “The day I’ll be too busy to help you out, then we’ll both know I’ve failed in my most sacred mission! Tell me what bothers you, and I’ll see how I can be of use”.
Jim smiled at his friend’s usual eloquence. “It’s more a curiosity than a bother”, he muttered, looking around uncomfortably. “I was just wondering… Can Trolls get married?”
Blinky smiled knowingly. “Ah, aren’t you a bit young to be thinking of marriage, Master Jim?” He chuckled. “It is unheard of trolls getting married before they’re at least a couple hundred years old! Well”, he added, pensively, “I guess since you are half-human, and your fair lady can’t possibly wait that long, it makes sense – but to my understanding, sixteen years old is too soon even by human’s standards!”
“I’m not – I don’t want to get married tomorrow”, Jim exclaimed, blushing furiously, his cheeks flushing incredibly red on his otherwise cerulean skin. “I’m just… Wondering if it’s a common occurrence, and if it has ever happened between a troll and a human, before. I don’t mean to rush into things, I just…” He sighed. “I just want to make sure Claire doesn’t miss out on any life experience just because she decided to be with me despite… Well, this”, he whispered, gesturing at his whole body.
Blinky smiled tenderly, much like a father in front of his son’s first insecurities. “First of all, Master Jim, this”, he repeated mimicking his gesture towards his person, “is nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing that Claire might ever feel resentful for. Second, you have nothing to worry about”, he assured him. “Marriage is possible in troll societies, albeit not as common as in human’s. Given how long we live, we don’t feel the urge to marry and procreate some humans might feel, and marriage happens only when two trolls truly need each other to the point of finding unbearably painful the prospect of being apart. We don’t usually love the way humans do, as you might know, Master Jim”, he continued, sighing, a longing look in his eyes. “It’s a sort of… Forced connection, for us, and when it happens that two trolls feel it and decide to get married, it’s not as sentimental as you may imagine. It’s a bond we can’t neither ignore nor explain. Staying together is more of a necessity than a desire. Getting married is a subsequent step that brings two trolls to be only one in front of the troll’s law, so that they can’t ever be separated, not even by a direct order of the elder leader. But it’s more of a tradition than anything – no one would ever even think of dividing two bonded trolls. They become so co-dependent that it happens fairly often that a spouse’s death is subsequently followed by the other’s”.
“That… Doesn’t sound very appealing”, commented Jim, shivering and thanking whatever superior force that he wasn’t completely a troll.
“Doesn’t it?” Chuckled Blinky. “And yet, humans often seem to long for it. ‘You are my life’, and ‘I need you’, and ‘I can’t live without you’, humans keep throwing that gibberish talk around, but if they see it’s true for someone, they all get squeamish”. He paused, sighing. “But no, you’re right, it’s not appealing. When it happens, most trolls live in denial for years, refusing to let go, not wanting it to condition their life to the point of being permanently bonded to someone, in life and death. While the love humans feel… It’s so much more poetic. It’s not needing the other to live, it’s knowing you don’t need them but wishing to be with them anyway. It’s a free choice, for humans. And the day you’ll want to take that step with Claire, Master Jim, I’ll fully support it”.
“Will I be able to?” Asked Jim, looking in his friend’s sad eyes. “Is it allowed, with a human?”
“Well”, chuckled Blinky, “No one ever thought a troll might want to marry a human, so no one ever thought to forbid it. You don’t have to worry about it. Someone might give you the stink eye, but I’ll be by your side, and everything will be fine”.
Jim smiled and thanked him, finally reassured. He started walking out of Blinky’s library, but stopped while on the move, turning to look at his friend. “You seem to know an awful lot of things about this sort of… Love trolls can feel”, he commented, staring curiously at the way Blinky flinched at his remark.
After a moment of surprise, Blinky shrugged, gesturing at his many books around him. “I know an awful lot of things about everything”, he replied, vaguely.
“Have you ever been in love? Or married?”
Blinky thought back at his wedding day, and he immediately regretted it.
It wasn’t, at all, a memory he cherished.
“No”, he replied, curtly. “And I enjoy talking to you, Master Jim, but I’m afraid I must ask you to leave now. There are plenty of matters that need my attention”.
Jim eyed him suspiciously, but left anyway. Blinky was definitely holding out on him, but after all, even a kind and honest troll like him was entitled to his secrets.
Blinky and Aaarrrgghh hadn’t known each other for long when it started to happen.
They had become friends as quickly as a former Gumm-Gumm general and a cowardly troll could. They had been forced together, at first, but they had let their barriers fall relatively soon, between a smile and a tentative compliment. They had started living together before even realizing it – and it only made sense, at the time. The Krubera didn’t have a home, after all, and Blinky had just lost his brother, so he had extra space, and the desire to fill it with someone who could take his mind off his grieving. What had started as a temporary arrangement became spontaneously permanent in just a few weeks.
They were happy, together. Aaarrrgghh loved listening to Blinky’s tales and ravings, and Blinky loved having someone who listened. When he didn’t know what to say – which was, in all honesty, a rare occurrence – he read books to Aaarrrgghh, or he told him stories about his past and shared fond memories of his brother; and the Krubera was careful never to lose a word Blinky pronounced. In Blinky’s speeches Aaarrrgghh was quick to learn a new way of life he had never known before, a life dedicated to peace and friendship instead of war and destruction. He decided to take a pacifism oath, and when he told Blinky about it, his new friend smiled so widely that Aaarrrgghh never doubted his decision once.
Then, when the two trolls started to think life couldn’t possibly get better than that, things started to change.
Blinky was the first one to notice something was off. Up to that moment, he hadn’t thought ill of the fact that he and Aaarrrgghh were spending every waking moment together, chalking it up to the excitement of a new friendship, a rare occasion for them both. But then, one evening, after one of his rare naps, he woke up and found that Aaarrrgghh wasn’t there.
It was in that moment that he felt it for the first time.
It hurt so deeply and so desperately, as if he had been run over by a thousand trolls during his rest. The aching sensation in his whole heart and body was so overwhelming that he was unable to focus on anything but the desire to make it stop. He thought he had been attacked, or cursed, and with his eyes full of panic and tears he stumbled to the door, fully intended to go looking for Vendel and ask for his invaluable opinion on whatever plague he was victim of.
He only made it to the door, though, when he saw Aaarrrgghh running towards him, and immediately felt better. “My friend”, he called, sighing in relief. “Here you are. Where have you been?”
Aaarrrgghh grunted. “Wanted to make nice surprise. Bring Blinky something to eat”, he explained, looking disappointed at his empty hands.
“Oh, what a nice thought”, Blinky weakly commented, trying to smile convincingly. “Did you find anything?”
Aaarrrgghh hesitated. “Was looking”, he explained after a moment, “but felt the need to come back. Why Blinky running?”
“Oh, it’s nothing”, he lied. “I wasn’t feeling good, but it’s better now. Truly, I was just… Momentarily indisposed”.
“Mo-men-tarly?” Grunted Aaarrrgghh, frowning.
“Momentarily, my enormous friend. It means for a very short time”.
“Blinky needs more rest”, Aaarrrgghh decided, leading him inside with a tender hand placed on his lower back. “Aaarrrgghh stays here”.
“Thank you, Aaarrrgghh”, replied Blinky. He didn’t feel the need to rest anymore, but maybe his previous discomfort was indeed related to lack of sleep.
Although, he was rather sure it wasn’t.
Before being an unwillingly bond-struck troll, Blinkous Galadrigal was a scholar. And just like any respectable scholar, he didn’t just make assumptions; he conducted experiments, and drew his appropriate conclusions.
And so he did that time too, distancing himself from Aaarrrgghh for more and more time every day, trying to assess if the pain he had experienced was indeed due to the longing he felt for the Krubera, and if his friend possibly shared the feeling.
He started doing more things on his own, reaching soon enough the conclusion that his fears were justified. When he was the one who decided to spend time apart, the pain was more bearable, but it was undoubtedly there. It felt as if someone was slowly tearing his heart apart, and not in the metaphorical sense. It was slightly annoying for the first few minutes, but it quickly grew in intensity until he risked collapsing on the ground clutching his chest. And so he had to run home, and there he usually found Aaarrrgghh, sitting uncomfortably on the floor, constantly hiding from the looks of everyone who still feared and didn’t trust him; and everything was better again.
As the days passed, even Aaarrrgghh started noticing something was off with his friend’s behaviour.
“Blinky never home anymore”, he groaned one day when he saw him coming back at dawn. Blinky didn’t answer, he just sat next to him and hid his face in the crook of his neck, inhaling the strong, wild scent of his mane and feeling at ease for the first time in hours.
“Missed Blinky”, he tried the next day, when the smaller troll burst in their tent and hugged him tight, breathing as if he hadn’t been able to do so in ages.
“Hurts when Blinky away”, he admitted a few days later. He regretted it immediately, though, because Blinky just stared deadpanned at him, that time, and left immediately after for his longest absence yet.
There was no doubt the experiment was over. They were bonded, and Blinky hated every single thing about it, from all the different ways the pain could occur to the always overwhelming relief he felt when it ended.
Still, even when he had to recognize that he and Aaarrrgghh were never going to be able to separate, Blinky kept trying. It didn’t matter how much it hurt for both of them, how much he hated spending time without Aaarrrgghh; he kept finding excuses to challenge himself more and more. The occasional hours they spent apart turned into a whole day soon enough; but they always ended up in each other’s arms, Aaarrrgghh always confused, and Blinky always disappointed in himself and his lack of self-control.
It didn’t take too long for others to notice something was off.
It happened one night, after Blinky had successfully avoided Aaarrrgghh for forty-eight hours straight, and it was starting to catch up with him. He was sweating, his heart was pounding in his chest so loudly that it was the only thing he could hear, and his rock-hard skin was itching and burning as if someone was ripping it off inch by inch. And as he rushed home, giving in once again to his detested bond, he was stopped by Vendel, who apparently had some urgent matter to discuss with him.
Not that Blinky was understanding any of it. He could clearly see Vendel’s lips moving, but he couldn’t for the life of him distinguish a single word he was saying.
He was partially brought back to reality when Vendel seemed to notice his state and grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it worriedly. “Are you alright, Blinkous? Don’t you feel well?”
Blinky shook his head, trying to lie convincingly. “I’m- Perfectly fine, thank you for your concern. I just need to… Research something of, of primary importance”.
“My word, you are sick, you fool!” Exclaimed the elder leader, looking at his red, feverish eyes and drawing his hand back from his burning hot skin. An illness was a most rare occurrence among trolls, and a plague that was strong enough to affect one of them was extremely likely to spread. Vendel was worried to a desperate extent, and Blinky was upset about it, mainly because if the elder leader wanted to conduct studies on his alleged disease, he was going to find out nothing was wrong with him but the absence of his enormous friend, and Blinky would have rather kept it a secret.
Just as he was fishing for some excuses and Vendel was trying to drag him to his study, though, they heard a voice behind them. “Blinky!” Aaarrrgghh was calling, for once outside the house, quickly rushing to his side while accidentally knocking over everyone on his path. “Blinky ok?” He questioned Vendel, worried.
And just like that, Blinky was feeling well again. He calmed down, stopped sweating, his eyes went back to their normal colour and his skin stopped itching as if a thousand gnomes were gnawing at it. Unfortunately, Vendel was far too attentive to miss such an important change.
His eyes went wide as he stared down at the two trolls, unbelieving of the scene he had in front of his eyes.
Of all the trolls this could have happened to, Blinky would have definitely been his last guess. The blue troll was far too reliant on books and logic to possibly be at ease in such a situation. He could read it in his eyes, how much the comfort he felt with Aaarrrgghh was making him uncomfortable. Aaarrrgghh, on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind too much; but after all, it made sense. Blinky was the first troll who had trusted him enough to welcome him in his house, and his first true friend in his whole life. For him, realizing he was not meant to live without Blinky wasn’t probably breaking news.
But Blinky… While he needed company, after his brother had passed, Vendel couldn’t possibly imagine this was what he had wished for.
“Blinkous, go spend a few hours with your bonded mate. You’ve been apart far too much”, he ordered, sternly. “Then, come talk to me. We have matters to discuss”.
Dejected, Blinky nodded, ignoring the whispers he heard all around. Of course Vendel wouldn’t think of keeping a low tone, and now the whole market seemed to be aware of their situation. Just what he had hoped to avoid.
When they were back home, finally, Aaarrrgghh talked. “What Vendel meant?” He asked, frowning. “What bonded mate?”
Blinky sighed, sitting on the floor and laying with his back against a wall. “Yes, my dear friend, I had imagined you weren’t familiar with the topic, and I feel like you deserve an explanation”, he replied, waiting for Aaarrrgghh to sit next to him. “What do you know about troll marriages?”
“Know it happens”, Aaarrrgghh shrugged, uncaring. It was to be expected, after all. He had been taken away from his people as a kid, he had become a Gumm-Gumm general and such he had been until just a few weeks before; and sure enough, Blinky couldn’t imagine love, bonds and wedding ceremonies to be the centre of those brutes’ conversations.
“It’s a bit more complicated that just ‘it happens’, Aarghaumont”, he started, feeling a little comfort in assuming the familiar role of a teacher. “Sometimes, two trolls, without any particular reason, just… Bond. When it happens, they have to stay together. Being apart cause them unbearable pain and it hurts them to an incredible extent. They get better when they are close, but when they are apart, they feel like half of their heart is missing”.
“Happens to me when Blinky is away!” He immediately lightened up, happy to finally understand. “Are we bonded?”
“I fear so, my dear friend”, replied Blinky, sighing.
Aaarrrgghh didn’t miss his lack of enthusiasm, nor his poor choice of words. “Bonded is bad?”
“Is it good, for you?” Blinky asked, confused. “Being forced to spend all of your time with me, without having the chance to leave me because it would hurt you too much?”
“Don’t care”, Aaarrrgghh shrugged. “Want to be with Blinky anyway”.
“You make it sound so easy, my dear friend”, Blinky replied, smiling sadly. It made sense, after all. Before realizing they were bonded, he spent all of his waking time with Aaarrrgghh anyway. This shouldn’t have been much of a change.
Still, feeling as if someone else had taken away his option was unbearable.
“What we do now?” Asked Aaarrrgghh, looking at his friend.
“What do you want to do?” Replied Blinky, shrugging.
“Marry Blinky”.
The blue troll hesitated. “I guess it would be possible”, he finally sighed, earning an overjoyed smile from Aaarrrgghh. “I’ll talk to Vendel about it”.
Aaarrrgghh’s evident happiness only made him more miserable.