Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It feels like it’s the first time in months that they get to hang out together like this, all four of them.

They’ve all been busy, Jennie knows. Rosie with preparing for her solo, Jisoo filming Snowdrop, and Lisa with her odd hours on Youth With You, as well as numerous ad campaigns. Jennie herself has been busy too, diving into the fashion world as Vogue editor and trying to think of new ideas for her youtube channel - a very new development that only came into being after the realization of the company’s lack of plans for her this year.

The last time they had spent considerable time together, they had been preparing for The Show, but that was different. That was work. Not like this.

This, being, Jisoo sprawled on one end of the couch with her feet in Jennie’s lap, and Lisa and Chaeyoung all over each other on the loveseat. Bottles on soju lying on the floor next to their coffee table, all of them on just this side of tipsy.

The atmosphere is light, carefree like she hasn’t experienced in ages. She looks over at Jisoo, and her unnie’s face is flushed, and the room is alive with Lisa’s smile and Chaeyoung’s laughter, and Jennie has had a stupid grin on her face all night.

She can’t help it. Not when she gets to have her girls all together like this after so long.

‘Her girls.’

The smile slips off Jennie’s face like water. She shakes her head, hoping to clear away the thoughts that must have come from the alcohol.

It’s not like that. They’re not like that. It’s not that Jennie doesn’t think her members are attractive - of course they are. And she’s been in close proximity to them since she was a hormone-filled teenager. Of course she’s entertained some thoughts, now and them, about each of them. Who wouldn’t?

And of course, not all their interactions can be played off as purely platonic, but there’s a lot of fanservice involved in the industry, and she- they all know some skinship is greatly appreciated.

It’s not like Jennie thinks about what it would be like to kiss them. Not like she’s lost herself before, staring at Jisoo’s lips, at Lisa’s legs, at Chaeyoung’s abs.

Not like she’s lied awake in the middle of a cuddle pile, surrounded by her members’ comforting weights pressed against her and their scents - the perfumes they get from their respective brand deals- and wondered.

Jennie feels something nudge at her thigh and is snapped out of her daze, looking to the end of the couch to see Jisoo giving her a concerned look. ‘Is everything okay?’ her eyes seem to ask.

Jennie gives her what she hopes is a reassuring smile, warmth blooming in her cheeks. She hopes Jisoo thinks it’s from the alcohol she drank.

She tries to tune in to what they were doing before- playing two truths and a lie. It’s a little childish, sure, and maybe a dumb game to play with people you’ve known for over a decade, but that just makes it more interesting as they try to think of things the others wouldn’t be able to back up with long-held memories.

It’s Jisoo’s turn right now, but her words end up flying over Jennie’s head as she stares at her lips.

It’s not like anything could ever happen, Jennie thinks. Not in this country, not in the industry they’re in.

And even if those obstacles didn’t exist, it’s not like they’d ever go for it. Not when they’re Jisoo, Lisa, and Chaeyoung, and Jennie is just Jennie.

She ends up missing all of Jisoo’s turn, but Chaeyoung gets it right, which means she gets to go next.

By the smile on Rosie’s face, Jennie knows that they’re going to be in trouble. She straightens up in her seat, half on top of Lisa, and the thai girl’s hands immediately settle on her waist. Jennie tries not to stare.

“I’ve got one!” Chaeyoung says, giggling. She looks so pretty like this, light and bubbly, and all that Jennie ever wants for her girls, to act as young as they truly are.

Chaeyoung keeps going, and this time Jennie puts effort into paying attention.

“I can’t wait for my solo to be released,” Rosie starts, and she’s beaming, not even trying to pretend like that could be a lie, and Jennie is so proud of her- “I’m thinking of dyeing my hair again, and I had a crush on Jennie-unnie when we were trainees.”

What?

Jennie barely registers Jisoo kicking her in surprise, or Lisa’s loud laughter.

“That one’s easy!” Lisa says, and, okay, ouch, but Jennie has to agree.

There’s something tight twisting in her chest, and it hurts, and she doesn’t understand, because Chaeyoung is many things but mean isn’t one of them, so Jennie doesn’t get why she’d say something like that.

(Not that she’d have any way of knowing how Jennie feels-- not that Jennie really feels anything about this, but-)

She’s so caught up the tangle of emotions inside her that she nearly misses it when Lisa says, casually as ever:

“The second one is a lie.”

Chaeyoung laughs, delighted, half-turning on their maknae’s lap so she can face her, and Jennie’s world tilts as she asks: “How’d you know?”

Lisa rolls her eyes, like it should be obvious. And- should it be obvious? Jennie doesn’t think it’s anything close to obvious, and-

“Everyone’s had a crush on Jennie-unnie,” Lisa says. And Rosie hums in concession and- no, seriously, what is happening?

Jennie turns towards Jisoo, hoping the older girl is as stumped as she feels, but Lisa is faster.

“Come on, unnie, back me up here.”

And Jisoo smiles and nods like she understands everything that’s happened in the past minute, like she agrees, and Jennie thinks she might actually explode.

Lisa triumphantly turns back to Chaeyoung. “Besides, you told me last week that you really like being blonde.”

Chaeyoung nods too, validating the statement, and then Lisa’s face turns introspective, because now that she got it right she has to think of something to say.

Something that isn’t as obvious as Chaeyoung’s choice, apparently. And. Jennie wants to scream.

She’s definitely not going to be able to pay attention now. She keeps staring at Chaeyoung. Keeps sneaking glances to the other members, unable to understand how they’re moving on with the game so easily, when all she can think of is ‘You had a crush on me? You had a crush on me. All of you, you all-’

-and she needs to breathe. She needs to breathe, and she needs to not scream, and she needs for her heart to stop beating so fast, and oh, God, how are they acting like nothing happened?

Except that’s not quite right, because Rosie doesn’t really look her in the eye for the rest of the night, except for little glances, and when Jennie catches her in the act her cheeks flush all pretty, but, that’s probably the alcohol, right?

And, well, the other girls are acting like normal. Joking around and laughing and still invested in the game, somehow, like Jennie hasn’t just experienced the biggest shock of her life, and-

She ends up making an excuse to go to bed before everyone else, and the whole time until she falls asleep her mind is buzzing with echoes of ‘I had a crush on Jennie-unnie’ and Lisa’s laugh and Jisoo nodding and and and-

She doesn’t actually know how she manages to fall asleep. But she does, eventually, and the last thought she remembers having, giving voice to her traitorous heart, is- ‘This could change things for us.’

Chapter Text

The worst part of getting drunk is the morning after. Chaeyoung wakes up to a pounding headache and a mouth as dry as the Sahara desert. She keeps her eyes shut, grateful for her blackout curtains, and palms blindly at her nightstand for her phone, nearly knocking over the glass of water that was left there.

She peeks a single eye open long enough to locate the advil next to the glass, and makes a mental note to thank Jisoo for this later.

The older girl has the highest tolerance out of all of them; she’s the only one who would have retained the brainpower to remember hangovers after last night.

Speaking of last night...

Chaeyoung is lucky she’s already swallowed the pills when the memories hit her, or she definitely would have choked on them.

Shit.

She sinks into her bed again, forgetting about her phone, and wonders if she’d be able to get away with staying there all day without worrying the others.

See, the thing is, Chaeyoung is gay.

And it’s not like that’s news. Not even close.

She’s known she was gay since the time when she only ever got called “Chaeyoung” at home or at church, back when Rosé was less than a distant dream.

And she knew what it meant, when she got into YG. That she wouldn’t be allowed to date, much less be honest about her sexuality. Not while trying to make it as an idol.

She had been okay with it, because music was her life, and everything was worth achieving that dream.

But that doesn’t mean she forgets.

It doesn’t make it sting any less, when any possibility of her liking women is ignored, glossed over, played off as a joke.

She still remembers reading out that question to her members, nearly four years ago on vlive: “Who would you date if you were a guy? Tell us the reason too.”

‘If I were a guy?’ she’d wanted to ask. ‘It’s 2017, gay people exist.’

She gets tired of it, sometimes. Tired of playing straight. So maybe she “slips” a little more often than is advisable. Makes more insinuations than producers are always comfortable with.

I like girls with bangs.

We wanted to have a romantic time too.

What’s your type, unnie?

Jennie, wink if Jenlisa is real.

She’d gotten a lot of flack for that last one. Not just from the staff, but from her girls too.

“What were you thinking, Chaeyoung-ah?”

“Out of all the comments, Rosie, you had to pick that one?”

She’d apologized for that, knowing that for all that their blinks were great, they could get a little crazy when it came to shipping.

But honestly, Chaeyoung doesn’t mind it that much. In truth, she kinda likes it.

(Her youtube history has a little too many “blackpink gay moments” compilations in it.)

She likes going on twitter, often against the advice of her members, and seeing fans talk about her most “fruity” moments. Likes seeing the polls that mark her down as ‘least straight member’.

She likes knowing that there are people out there who would support her, if she ever came out. People who wouldn’t be surprised by it. Who would have expected it, even hoped for it, a little.

But she knows that day won’t come for a long time, if it ever does. So for now she has to content herself with “slipping”, and knowing that the people who don’t want to see that part of her will willfully blind themselves to all of it. The ones that are looking for it will see.

So, yeah. Chaeyoung is gay. And she doesn’t have any problem with that. Nor does she have a problem with the (teeny, tiny, could-be-written-off-as-nothing) crushes she’s gotten on her members over the years.

(Two truths and a lie.)

(She needs to get better at this game.)

Last night, though? That was more than a slip. God, last night was so much worse than a slip.

“I had a crush on Jennie-unnie when we were trainees.”

At least she’d had the presence of mind to use the past tense, Chaeyoung thinks, staring at her ceiling.

She tries to think of where she’d found the courage to be that bold. That direct about one of her most closely-held secrets.

Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the sense of relaxation she felt from their first night off in ages.

Maybe it was the fact that she’d been sitting on Lisa’s lap all night.

Lisa, who has let Chaeyoung gush about Halsey one night in Atlanta, when they had been halfway through a second bottle of wine and anything could be passed off as drunken ramblings. Lisa, who had spent too long talking about Kehlani in return. About her voice, and her music, and how pretty she was.

(Chaeyoung had not gotten jealous that day, she told herself. Definitely not, even though she sang pretty well too, and she’d written her own lyrics, if only the company would let her release them, and Lisa herself had called her pretty several times, so.)

Lisa, who makes sure to kiss Chaeyoung at least once a day. On her cheek, on her nose, on her forehead,

(never, never on her lips, despite how often she threatens it.)

Lisa made her comfortable enough to say that. To confess her not-really-an-ex-crush in front of all her members, said crush included.

Chaeyoung feels her cheeks burning at the thought. She rolls over so she’s laying on her side, curled in on herself.

How is she supposed to face Jennie today?

‘What if I made her uncomfortable?’ Chaeyoung thinks. ‘What if- what if she thinks it’s weird? God, what if she hates me?’

It feels like a weight was dropped in her stomach. Jennie had left early last night. Jennie is never the first one to go to sleep between the four of them.

Oh, God, Chaeyoung probably made her uncomfortable. Jennie won’t want to see her now. Fuck, how could she be so stupid?

She’s so lost in her thoughts, spiraling darker and darker, that she doesn’t even notice her door open and somebody walk in, until she feels a weight settle down on her bed.

She lifts her head up to see a familiar silhouette, and her mind quiets.

Jisoo’s face is barely visible in the darkness of Chaeyoung’s room, but Chaeyoung can see the glimmer of a smile on her features.

“Unnie,” she whispers, “what are you doing here?”

“I need to go to the set soon,” Jisoo says, “but I knew you would be acting stupid, so I’m here first.”

Chaeyoung stares. Jisoo stares back.

“Unnie, I’m not-”

“Not freaking out?” Jisoo challenges, raising an eyebrow. Chaeyoung drops her gaze, breath leaving her in a sigh. She feels the older girl’s hand tuck a strand of hair away from her face, and her heart stutters.

Her face feels like it’s on fire.

“Stop worrying so much, Chaengie.” Jisoo’s voice is so soft Chaeyoung wants to cry. She has a thumb stroking Chaeyoung’s cheek now, and Chaeyoung wants to tell her she can’t focus on her words when she’s touching her so tenderly.

But she can hardly form a sentence like this either, so she closes her eyes and tries to enjoy the contact for what it is.

(Innocent. An attempt at comfort. Not any reason for Chaeyoung’s heart to start skipping beats.)

Eventually, Jisoo taps on her cheek, and Chaeyoung blinks her eyes open.

The look she is receiving right now is so gentle, Chaeyoung has to beg her heart not to hope.

‘Stop, please. I can’t lose any of them.’

“I have to go now,” Jisoo says, withdrawing her hand. “And you need to stop thinking so much. It’s all going to be fine.”

She gets up from the bed, and Chaeyoung misses her immediately.

“Jennie is still asleep,” the brunette tells her, erasing any possibility that she doesn’t know what Chaeyoung was freaking out about. “Don’t try to avoid her by going out. I know you don’t have a schedule today.”

She goes to leave the room, and Chaeyoung sits up in her bed. “Unnie,” she calls out, and Jisoo stops, looks back at her.

“Thank you for the advil,” Chaeyoung says quietly, “and good luck on set today.” She hesitates, then, “I’ll try to worry less.”

Jisoo beams at her, and Chaeyoung feels warmth tingle all through her body, lingering long after her door is closed.

Chapter Text

Chaeyoung is trying really hard to honor Jisso’s request and not run away today, but every second that passes makes her more tempted.

After Jisoo had left for filming, she had stayed in her room a little longer, messing around on twitter and trying to distract herself with her blinks’ latest hijinks.

Eventually though, she had to leave her room to deal with her stomach’s insistent hunger.

Predictably, Jennie hadn’t gotten up yet, but Lisa’s shoes weren’t by the door, which meant their maknae was already off to her day’s schedule.

So Chaeyoung managed to have a quick breakfast by herself, and is now waiting in the kitchen for Jennie.

She’s trying to figure out what she’s going to say to the older girl, which would be easier if her brain would collaborate.

‘What if she hates us? What is she can’t stand to look us in the eye anymore?’

‘Shut up,’ Chaeyoung thinks back at it, ‘Unnie told us to stop worrying.’

Thinking about Jisoo showing up in her room to reassure her while she’s in a rush does a good enough job of distracting her, so much that she doesn’t even feel hear the footsteps coming from the direction of the rooms, too lost in reliving the feeling of Jisoo’s thumb on her cheek.

Chaeyoung has to blink several times before her eyes refocus onto Jennie, clad in pajamas and bleary-eyed from sleep, still. She has to stop herself from cooing at how cute she looks, settling on a smile instead.

“Good morning, unnie,” she greets.

“Morning, Rosie,” comes the raspy response, Jennie’s voice slurred. Chaeyoung feels her cheeks warm.

“Did you sleep well?” she asks tentatively.

Jennie nods, still looking a little out of it. “Yeah, I did. Did you?”

Chaeyoung only nods, shifting on her feet. Her nervousness is back in full force, and she knows that if she doesn’t say something now, she’ll chicken out later.

“Unnie, listen… I’m sorry about last night.”

Jennie blinks at her, startled, and something like shock appears in her eyes.

Chaeyoung keeps going, her heart pounding in her chest. “I didn’t mean to make things weird, I- I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” she finishes in a small voice.

Jennie looks more alert now, like Chaeyoung’s words chased away the last remains of sleep. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable.” She says the words carefully, in English, which, okay. This will be that type of conversation then.

Chaeyoung laughs humorlessly. “You went to bed before all of us, Jennie. That never happens.”

Jennie frowns. “I was just tired last night,” she tries to defend, but Chaeyoung recognizes an excuse when she hears one.

“No you weren’t. I said… that, and it made things weird.” She watches Jennie’s face carefully, and sees the barely perceptible shift in her expression when Chaeyoung references her confession.

“I’m sorry,” Chaeyoung repeats. “It won’t happen again.”

She has to look away then, suddenly finding one of the mugs on the countertop the most interesting thing in the room. She grabs it absent-mindedly, just to have something to do with her hands.

She means it, really. About it not happening again. Chaeyoung is usually better at hiding that part of her around everyone that isn’t Lisa. She and Jennie can go back to normal after this. They can pretend last night didn’t happen. Just drunk Rosie being weird again.

She just wanted to clear the air first, but. They’ll be fine.

She’ll be fine.

Chaeyoung is so consumed with trying to convince herself of that that she doesn’t notice Jennie walk around the counter to her. She feels two hands encircle her own around the mug, and she jumps, a little, but still doesn’t look up to where she can feel Jennie’s eyes on her, scared of what she might find in them.

“Rosie,” the older girl says gently. “Chaeyoung-ah, look at me.”

Chaeyoung can’t help but do as she asks. Jennie’s eyes are intense, but she can’t, for the life of her, figure out what emotions are in them.

She doesn’t look disgusted, at least. Chaeyoung doesn’t think she could handle Jennie being being disgusted by her.

“Chaeyoung-ah,” Jennie starts again, now in Korean, “you have nothing to apologize for.”

She looks at their joined hands around Chaeyoung’s mug, then back to her face, her cheeks coloring.

“What you said last night… I don’t mind it. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable.”

The sentiment is clear, decisive. It settles something within Chaeyoung that was unbalanced since she remembered the previous night.

Still, she has to ask.

“Are you sure? Because- I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, unnie. I can just- not mention anything anymore.” ‘I can hide, still. I can keep hiding for you.’

For all of them, for as long as they need her to.

Jennie sort of, squeaks, a bit, and Chaeyoung barely has the time to wonder what it was that she said before she’s stuttering.

“Is there-” Her hands involuntarily squeeze Chaeyoung’s. “Is there something to mention, still?”

The question is asked in a tiny, hesitant voice, and it’s only then that Chaeyoung sees how red Jennie is, which- Jennie blushing usually means she’s embarrassed, or flattered, or both, and either way she’ll try to get away from whatever is making her like that, but… she’s still holding on to Chaeyoung’s hands, and she hasn’t moved, even though she looks really nervous, now that Chaeyoung is paying attention, and oh, wait.

(Chaeyoung has been very careful not to let herself hope, all these years. Not outside the deep recesses of her heart, but this is…)

(She has to be careful here.)

What had Jennie’s question been? If there was still any- oh.

She might be taking a risk here, but, well. Chaeyoung reminds herself that if hadn’t taken risks in her life, she wouldn’t be here right now. She might not even have met this girl, or the rest of their members, and that’s not a life she’d like to live.

She takes the leap.

“There... might be something to mention, still.” It leaves her in a whisper, and oh, God, this is so much harder to do while sober.

She’s sure she’s as red as Jennie, now, but the older girls isn’t pulling away, so Chaeyoung doesn’t either, and they both stand there, staring at each other with their hands wrapped around a coffee mug, for a stupidly long time.

She doesn’t know exactly how they get out of that position, but there’s a lot of blushing, and stumbling, and a giddy feeling rising up in Chaeyoung’s chest that she doesn’t know if she should stamp down or nurture.

Jennie gets herself some breakfast, and Chaeyoung washes the dishes, and watches her, and she knows she’s smiling like an idiot but she can’t really help it.

When Jennie is done with food, she asks: “So what do you want to do today?”

Chaeyoung stops for a minute, thinking about it. It’s her last free day before her rehearsals pick up in earnest, and then she won’t get to rest until all promotions for her solo are done.

“I don’t really know,” she says finally. “How long are you free today?”

Jennie makes a dismissive gesture with her hand. “I cleared all my schedules. I’m all yours for the day”

Chaeyoung feels touched by the action at the same time as she’s flustered by the word choice. Jennie catches it too, and her cheeks redden again, but she doesn’t take it back.

“Um, do you mind if we just stay in today?”

Jennie gives her the brightest smile she’s ever seen. Chaeyoung thinks she might melt from it.

“I don’t mind whatever it is you want to do, Rosie.”

Chapter Text

When Lisa gets home, she is greeted by soft laughter.

It brings a smile to her face, makes her heart beat just a bit faster. Like the tiredness from the day is chased away by her members’ happiness.

She leaves her shoes in the entrance hall, and her sock-clad feet lead her into the living room, to a sight that has her nearly melt on the spot.

Her unnies are all cuddled up together on the couch, Jennie glomped onto Chaeyoung, with Jisoo on her other side, three sets of limbs tangled together. Jennie and Chaeyoung are laughing at some joke Jisoo made, probably about the drama playing on the television.

Lisa doesn’t try to stop the absolute beam that’s forming on her face, happy to watch three of the most important people in her life simply exist together.

She allows herself to drink in the details of them: the crinkle of Jennie’s eyes, Chaeyoung’s chipmunk cheeks, Jisoo’s laugher tinkling through the room, filling it with her joy.

The balloon in Lisa’s chest expands, fills her up. She thinks she could watch them like this for hours.

It is not to be, though, and eventually the objects of her affection take notice of her.

Chaeyoung is the one who sees her first, and Lisa feels herself blush at how the blonde’s eyes light up when they land on her.

“You’re home!” It bursts out of her, gaining the attention of the other two.

“Lili!”

“Lisa-yah, come join us!”

Twin shouts reach her ears, and Lisa’s smile widens, if that’s even possible.

“I can’t, unnie,” she apologizes, “I’m all dirty from outside.”

Lisa’s statement is met with three different pouts, and, oh, her heart. How is it beating, still?

She suppresses the urge to say ‘screw it’ and join the three of them, even though every inch of her is aching to do just that. Instead, she promises them she’ll be back soon, and proceeds to shower as fast as humanly possible, cursing the damn virus as she does so.

She leaves the bathroom with her hair still a bit wet, and manages to trip over one of her cats in her haste to get back to the living room.

(Luca looks at her like she’s committed a grave betrayal, but she knows he’ll get over it if she gives him extra treats.)

Finally, Lisa joins her unnies on the couch. She molds herself to Chaeyoung’s free side, throwing an arm around both her and Jennie to meet Jisoo across from them.

She feels Chaeyoung relax fully beneath her, hears Jennie’s content exhale, and sees Jisoo’s comfortable, lazy smile directed at her. And Lisa settles, feels that piece of her that is always left with them fit back into place, completing her.

“I missed you guys,” she admits quietly.

Jisoo breathes out a laugh, delicate enough not to the disturb the gentle atmosphere that’s formed in the room. “You saw us last night.”

‘Isn’t that too long?’ Lisa thinks of saying. But then, she thinks every hour they’re apart is way too long.

“I always miss you,” she says instead, equally honest.

Jisoo only smiles at her, still tinged with too much disbelief for Lisa’s liking. Jennie makes a squeaking sort of sound, and Lisa can’t see much of her from this angle, but she knows she’s blushing in the way she does whenever the youngest is too forward in her affections, when they’re far away from any cameras.

Chaeyoung laughs sweetly, the sound forming goosebumps across Lisa’s arms.

“You’re sappy today, Lisa.” She sounds delighted.

The thai pouts.

“I’m not sappy,” she whines. “I’m sincere.”

They all start laughing at her. This is what she gets for trying to be sweet.

Lisa wouldn’t change it for the world.

Surprisingly, Chaeyoung is the first to calm down.

“You are always very honest,” she says. It feels pointed, somehow. Or maybe that’s Lisa’s imagination.

Still, she feels compelled to answer.

“Of course I am. Especially with you three.”

It’s the truth. She’s always tried to be as honest as she can- as much as she is allowed. For some reason, though, her affirmation generates a tension in the room, sharply contrasting the ease of before.

It’s uncomfortable.

Lisa is trying to figure why, and how to fix it, when Jennie speaks.

“Then… did you mean what you said last night?”

It takes Lisa a minute to situate herself.

“Everyone’s had a crush on Jennie-unnie.”

Oh.

That’s- Lisa doesn’t know how she managed to forget about that. Shit.

She feels herself begin to panic. How is she supposed to- she needs to- damage control, right? That’s what she’s supposed to do.

(She doesn’t know. Jennie’s voice gave away nothing beyond hesitance, and Lisa can’t see her face like this, and fuck, what is she supposed to do here?)

“I think this is a conversation we should have face to face.” Jisoo’s voice breaks through the storm in Lisa’s mind, and God, she could kiss her for that.

(Wait, no, bad brain. Don’t go there right now.)

The four of them untangle themselves from each other, to everyone’s displeasure. They trade the couch for the rug on the floor, pushing back the coffee table to make room for them to sit in a circle, facing each other.

Except Jennie isn’t looking at anyone. Rather, her eyes are cast down to her fidgeting hands. She looks so small like this, Lisa wants nothing more than to hold her. She’s sitting across from her, with Jisoo and Chaeyoung completing the circle on either of her sides.

Chaeyoung nudges Jennie softly. “Unnie, it’s okay.”

The older girls takes a deep breath. Her eyes finally rise to meet Lisa’s, then Jisoo’s.

“Last night you said- you implied that you… had a crush on me. Was it- did you mean it?”

Lisa doesn’t know what she’s supposed to answer.

Of course she meant it. How could she not?

During the start of her trainee days, Jennie had been Lisa’s anchor. She would speak English with her, even though it was against the rules, and her time in New Zealand had made her a little more accepting of Lisa’s social missteps and cultural shocks. She’d been her first real friend in Korea.

And Lisa couldn’t not notice, being so close to her, how pretty Jennie was. How talented, and sweet, and attractive.

Of course she’d gotten a crush on her. She thinks most of the trainees did, if they weren’t busy being jealous of her, and had even the slightest inclination towards liking women. Jennie Kim simply had something about her.

She’d stolen Lisa’s heart, as well as countless others.

And now she sounded so uncertain, and was shrinking on her own frame, trying to make herself as small as possible. And it was breaking Lisa’s heart.

‘Screw it.’

“Of course I meant it.”

Lisa silently congratulates herself for keeping her voice even, even as Jennie’s head snaps towards her.

There’s a look of surprise on her face, which Lisa doesn’t really understand. She hasn’t exactly been subtle in her affections over the years. Half the internet has commented on the way she looks at her members. She knows they’ve kept it a carefully unacknowledged thing, until now.

But apparently last night had brought up some kind of insecurity in Jennie, because there’s still too much shock in her expression, and Lisa realizes she’ll have to elaborate.

“Unnie, of course I had a crush on you.” It’s ridiculous how easy it is to say, and Lisa hurries to remedy herself: “I mean- everyone did.”

She thinks if she sticks to the past tense, she’ll be fine.

“You’ve always been talented, and hard-working, and you have this way of carrying yourself that attracts people. And you’re really, really nice, and pretty, and-” And Lisa might as well confess there’s nothing past about this crush if she keeps going, so she shuts up, and tries to pretend her face isn’t on fire.

Jennie is blushing too, though, more than Lisa is used to seeing, and really, she’s so pretty sometimes- Lisa forces herself to look away.

Chaeyoung is stifling giggles beside her, but when her eyes meet Lisa’s, they’re glimmering with affection, and that just makes her blush more, because- it’s Chaeyoung.

And then Jisoo’s laugh is tinkling through the room, again, and honestly, Lisa doesn’t know how she manages to be in a group with all three of them, sometimes.

Someone should give her a medal.

“What Lisa is trying to say is yes, we like you, Jendeuk.”

That is- well it’s true, but- she doesn’t think she’d said anything that direct. And- yeah, she’s sure she used past tense, so- wait a second, Jisoo said we?

Lisa blinks. Once. Twice. Several more times.

She thinks she might have misread the situation completely.

Jennie is… looking at them. Eyes raking over each of her members. Jisoo’s comfortable, confident smile. Chaeyoung’s earnest eyes, blushing cheeks. Lisa’s- whatever expression is on her face at the moment.

Suddenly, it’s quiet in her mind. Suddenly, it’s like they’re at the precipice of something momentous.

“We like you, Jennie,” Jisoo repeats. “And I think you like us too.”

(This is what it feels like; when her pieces click into place.)

There’s something wondrous about Jennie’s expression now. Something reminiscent of the way she looks when they play for packed stadiums, walking into an arena to be greeted by a pink ocean.

She looks like she’s seeing something marvelous. Like she can’t quite believe it’s real.

(There is- joy, rising in her. She needs to let it out.)

“I’ve liked you for years, Nini,” Lisa says, because it’s true, and- she thinks she might be allowed to, now.

She looks down, bashful, and- ‘go big or go home.’

“I’ve liked all of you for years now.”

She hears Chaeyoung gasp beside her, and she thinks it should be scary, to admit it all like this, but instead Lisa feels- free.

Warmth is blooming in her gut.

(Because she’s being honest. Because ‘like’ doesn’t come close to what she feels for these girls, though it’s all she allows herself, for now.)

There’s a touch on her wrist. It’s Chaeyoung.

Lisa meets her eyes, and lets herself drown.

She lets Chaeyoung see everything she never truly tried to hide.

Chaeyoung takes her hand, twines their fingers together. An understanding passes between them, of a thing barely unspoken for years.

“I like you too,” Chaeyoung says.

And just like that, their unspoken thing, of late nights and drinks and hotel rooms, is unspoken no longer.

Chapter Text

There are nerves now, with everything in the open. Lisa feels it in the way Chaeyoung’s fingers squeeze a little too hard, and she chooses to fix it in the best way she knows how.

She pulls Chaeyoung close, onto her lap, so there’s no space between them. Soothes with her touch. Chaeyoung buries her face into Lisa’s neck, lips brushing against skin, and Lisa shudders. They’ve done this a million times, but it feels different now.

Now they are being honest.

There will be no more secrets after tonight.

She feels Chaeyoung’s breath on her neck, and wonders if the other girl can hear her heart pounding.

I love you.

Someone makes a sound, and suddenly, Lisa is reminded that they are not alone in the room.

Their unnies are staring at them.

Jisoo is looking at them so affectionately, like there’s nothing she’d rather be doing at the moment. Like none of this is surprising to her, somehow. And Jennie… Jennie still looks enchanted.

“I… I like you. I like you too. All of you.” Her voice comes out in a whisper, like she’s scared of disturbing something precious.

God, Lisa loves her. Her sweet, shy Nini.

She watches Jisoo put an arm around her. Watches how Jennie melts immediately in her hold, and the thought finds her, unbidden:

‘Ours.’

They look so good together, Lisa can’t stop staring. At radiant, beautiful Jisoo, who hasn’t stopped smiling all night, and was brave enough to say what Lisa couldn’t have, if she’d been alone. At Jennie, who had been so hesitant at the start of this conversation, but is glowing now.

Lisa feels Chaeyoung shudder against her, as Jennie’s words register in her mind. She feels wetness on her neck, but before she can do anything about it, the older girl takes one of her hands and squeezes twice.

‘I’m okay.’

Still, Lisa makes sure to hug her extra tight before letting her pull away.

She takes a good look at Chaeyoung’s face, and feels a pang in her heart when she spots her puffy eyes.

“Don’t cry,” she murmurs, wiping away at tear tracks with her thumb. “If you cry, Jennie and I will start crying as well, and then Jisoo-unnie will have to take care of us three.”

Chaeyoung laughs wetly at that, and Lisa smiles.

Jisoo hums, still with her arms around Jennie.

“Of course I will. I like you all too much not to do it.”

Lisa’s smile turns into a full on beam.

Jennie lets out a whine, her cheeks flushed red again, Jisoo’s meaning not lost on her. Chaeyoung giggles. A bright, beautiful sound that Lisa would give the entire world for.

She laughs.

It’s sudden, the way it bursts out of her, but she can’t help it. She’s never felt so full.

She’s too loud, like always, and it gets the attention of her members.

“What?” Chaeyoung asks, confused but smiling.

Lisa shakes her head, grinning at her.

She pulls Chaeyoung back into her lap, this time so that the blonde is facing Jennie and Jisoo. She giggles at the way Chaeyoung squeaks, and lets her hands rest just under the hem of her shirt, places her head on her shoulder.

Lisa nearly smirks at the hitch in Chaeyoung’s breath, but she gets caught up watching how her unnies’ eyes glue to her fingers on Chaeyoung’s skin.

Lisa wonders if she and Chaeyoung look as good to them as they do to her.

She sees Jennie lick her lips, the action apparently unconscious.

God, she hopes they do.

“So what happens now?”

Chaeyoung’s voice breaks Lisa out of her reverie.

It comes out a bit shaky, and Lisa wonders if Chaeyoung’s noticed how Jisoo’s eyes have darkened. How Jennie’s face has shifted from enchanted to wanting.

She sees the exact moment Jisoo registers Chaeyoung’s words. Sees her blink rapidly, as if waking up from a trance, and forcibly look away from the patch of skin that’s been uncovered by Lisa’s wandering hands.

The light pink that dusts her cheeks makes Lisa’s insides tickle pleasantly.

She wants us.

Jisoo has been so collected throughout the evening. Almost too collected. Seeing her flustered is more than a little satisfying.

The oldest girl clears her throat, still flushed.

“Whatever we want. I mean…” she trails off, and Lisa tracks how her brow furrows, how her lips purse. Thinks, ‘beautiful.’

“Everyone’s gonna be busy for a while, especially you, Chaengie.” Jisoo’s smile is blinding when she adds the last bit, and Lisa and Jennie mirror her immediately.

Chaeyoung ducks her head, and Lisa doesn’t have to look to know her cheeks are flushed crimson.

“But afterwards,” Jisoo continues, “I want to take you all on a date.”

Date.

The word builds a home in Lisa’s mind, gives life to butterflies in her stomach.

She starts wondering about logistics, about what it would take for the four of them to ditch their managers and go someplace where they could be by themselves. Lisa is sure they can do it. It won’t be easy, but she’s got plenty of motivation.

A date, with her favorite people in the world.

“I want that,” Lisa blurts out, “I want to have a date with you three.”

She finds that it’s quickly becoming one of the things she wants most.

She wants to go somewhere with just the four of them, and make stupid jokes so they all laugh at her, and she’ll compliment them loads, because they’re so pretty when they’re flustered. She wants them to catch her staring (and they will, because Lisa is always staring), and not have to look away.

She wants to make Jennie blush, before finding her confidence and flirting back, leaving Lisa a stuttering mess. She wants to chase after Chaeyoung in a park, among the cherry blossoms, and for the wind to carry their laughter. She wants to walk holding hands with Jisoo, and have her smile at her just as she is right now, forever.

She wants these girls forever.

(It’s so much. It’s so much, and she never thought she could have this. Never thought her feelings could be returned, not once, but thrice.)

She feels so much right now, it’s painful.

For a moment, Lisa worries that it’s possible to die from too much love.

She doesn’t know what expression is on her face right now, that has got Jennie looking breathless, has Jisoo staring intensely enough to make heat flood Lisa’s face, hands spasming where they still circle Chaeyoung’s waist.

She feels bare. Raw. Vulnerable in a way that would be uncomfortable if she were with anyone else.

As it is, Lisa is okay with them seeing her pieces on display. She thinks she would let them pick through her, unravel her, until they find her heart, beating wildly for them.

“Take it,” she would say, “It’s yours anyway.”

There’s a voice in her head, telling her to stop, backtrack.

It’s too soon, too much, you’ll scare them away.

All the feelings she’s tried to keep at arm’s length have rushed to the surface, like water breaking through a dam.

She wants to stop holding back. She’s been holding back for so long.

(But she can’t. She can’t be too much. She’s not allowed yet, she can’t-)

‘I’ll be theirs in whatever way they’ll have me.’

A decision made many years ago, when she was young, and scared of pushing too far, of being too greedy.

Lisa clings to it now, lets it ground her. Reminds herself that hasn’t changed just because they’ve confessed to liking each other.

Like.

That’s what she’s allowed, for now. She doesn’t mind waiting for anything else.

(She’s waited ten years. What’s a little longer?)

“I want that too,” Chaeyoung says, and Lisa remembers they’re in the middle of an important, life-changing conversation. “But I don’t want you to feel like you have to wait for me.”

It sends the other three into an uproar.

“Rosie, you’re not making us wait for you!”

“Chaeyoung-ah, stop being stupid!”

“We don’t care about that!”

Jennie extricates herself from Jisoo’s hold, making the older pout momentarily, and joins the maknaes' side of the circle, which has really dissolved at this point.

She takes Chaeyoung’s face in her hands. Lisa’s position means she gets to stare up at Jennie’s face while the latter looks intensely into Chaeyoung’s eyes.

“You’ve been working so hard on your solo, and we are so proud of you. You are not going to feel guilty about doing something you’ve wanted for so long.”

Lisa turns her face towards Chaeyoung’s red one, and can’t help but kiss her on the cheek. It makes her blush deeper, and she mumbles: “I’ve wanted this for a really long time too.”

And. Wow. Lisa is just- gone. There’s just a puddle of goo where she used to sit.

This puddle of goo kisses Chaeyoung again, because. She can’t not.

Jennie isn’t fairing much better. She’s become a stuttering, blushing mess, and. Lisa is starting to wonder how they’re going to do this when they’re able to reduce each other to mush this easily.

Jisoo takes the moment to join them, pressing herself to Lisa’s side, and the Thai takes one hand off Chaeyoung to loop around her waist, and oh, yeah, that’s how.

“We’ve already been waiting years, Chaeyoung-ah. We can wait a bit more. Especially for your solo.”

Chaeyoung pouts. She sags on Lisa’s lap. Jennie has let go of her face, and is now gently petting her hair.

“I don’t like knowing that I won’t be seeing any of you all day.”

Lisa nuzzles her neck comfortingly.

So that’s what this is about. She can’t say she’s looking too forward to that either.

She remembers last year, when she was in China filming Youth With You, far away from all of them. Even when they tried to facetime every day, it had been hard. Ridiculously hard.

She remembers the day she came home, when her two weeks of quarantine were up, and how the other three had canceled everything just to spend all day cuddled in bed with her. She remembers that even Jisoo, who is the least clingy amongst them, had been finding excuses to touch her during the following days, weeks. It had made her ridiculously pleased, to feel the proof that her members missed her as much as she missed them.

“You’ll be coming home to us every night.” Jisoo’s words have no business sounding as good as they do. They leave Lisa tingling, and they make Chaeyoung smile.

“I like hearing you say that,” she admits quietly.

“Besides, just because we can’t go on a date yet doesn’t mean we can’t do other things,” Jennie says, looking at all of them in turn.

Lisa smirks when Jennie’s eyes land on her, spotting an opportunity to tease her. “What other things, unnie?”

As expected, Jennie flushes.

“I- uh- Lisa.” The Korean swats at her. Lisa laughs, unrepentant. “You’re lucky I like you.”

That shuts her up, because her brain realizes, ‘Oh, wow, she does,’ and apparently it’s still not done processing that.

“Jendeukie, I think you broke her.”

Lisa feels Jisoo’s finger poking her cheek, and, naturally, turns her head to bite it.

“Yah, Lisa!”

Chaeyoung and Jennie are both giggling at her antics, and Lisa turns back to them with a grin on her face.

“I like you all so much.”

Loves them, actually. Just as she loves the blushes forming on their cheeks. She could really get used to that, she thinks, preening internally.

“We should have a sleepover,” Chaeyoung says, changing the subject abruptly. Lisa lets her get away with it, only because the silly smile on the blonde’s face looks a lot like her own.

“Sure,” Jennie says, “We can go to my room.”

Jisoo hums in agreement. Her outrage has died down, and her head is resting on Lisa’s shoulder. “It’s been too long since we all slept together.”

Lisa tries very hard not to point out the innuendo, because she doesn’t want to get swatted at. Again.

It takes a lot of focus.

“Later,” she says, “It’s too early.”

Then she realizes something. “We should probably get off the floor though.”

She doesn’t mean to make them laugh, but she’s not going to complain at having her - members? friends? the loves of her life? yes, to all - happy because of something she did.

Lisa lets herself laugh with them, and feels warm.

Chapter Text

Jisoo would never admit it to Lisa, but she has no idea what’s going on in this show.

They’ve been watching Penthouse for a few weeks now, whenever they can sneak some time off, but Jisoo hasn’t been paying attention.

Why would she, when Lisa herself is so much more interesting?

Jisoo would take watching her reactions over any drama.

Her little gasps and widened eyes when something surprising happens. Her laughter when one of the jokes lands just right. The way her eyes well up during the emotional moments.

Lisa’s face is probably one of the most expressive Jisoo’s ever seen. And she is so beautiful, Jisoo hardly needs a reason to look at her.

Once upon a time, she would have tried to be more subtle in her staring, but since the four of them confessed their feelings for each other, the concept of subtlety has been thrown out the window.

The worst that could happen if she was caught, Jisoo thinks, smiling, is Lisa flushing at the attention, and then she’d get one of those tiny, shy smiles she’s taken to giving when they express affection towards her.

As if summoned by her thoughts, Lisa chooses that moment to turn her head towards her.

Seeing the red bloom in her cheeks makes Jisoo’s smile widen.

“What?” Lisa asks, that smile making an appearance.

“Nothing,” Jisoo says, making no move to look away.

Lisa’s blush deepens. “You’re gonna miss the show, unnie,” she tries. “This is a good part.”

Jisoo doesn’t miss a beat. “You’re much more interesting than this scene.”

She doesn’t even know which scene they’re on, but Lisa doesn't need to know that.

Lisa squeaks.

God, she’s adorable. Jisoo’s cheeks hurt from smiling.

“Unnie, you can’t just say that,” Lisa whines.

“Why not?”

Jisoo is answered by a groan, and Lisa moving to lay her head on her lap.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” the younger girl mumbles, as Jisoo starts playing with her hair.

“Yeah?” she asks, staring down at the girl beneath her.

“Yeah,” Lisa hums. “Between you, Nini, and Chaeng… I’m definitely going to die.”

Jisoo laughs. “We can’t have that, can we?”

Lisa’s face could pass for a tomato, but she’s smiling, her eyes sparkling with joy, and Jisoo finds herself staring again, at the contours of her face, eyes lingering on her full lips.

Not for the first time, she feels overcome by the urge to kiss the younger girl.

It’s just the two of them in the dorm today. Chaeyoung is having back to back rehearsals and figuring out the last few details of her solo debut, while Jennie is out doing something for Vogue.

The latter will probably be back in time for dinner, but their resident blonde isn’t likely to get home until the rest of them are sound asleep.

Jisoo thinks about it, for a moment. Thinks of leaning down and sealing their lips together. Wonders if Lisa’s are as soft as they look.

She doesn’t, though. Not yet.

It isn’t the right time.

(Or maybe she’s still a little scared.)

As if she’s had some glimpse into her mind, Lisa grasps one of the hands that was carding through her hair and presses it gently against her lips.

Jisoo feels her cheeks warm.

“Unnie, it’s only fun if we’re watching it together,” Lisa says, turning her head so she is facing the television. The hand holding Jisoo’s is tucked into her chest, making it so the older girl’s arm has to stretch a bit. She doesn’t really mind.

“I have plenty of fun watching you,” Jisoo says, even as she makes the token effort of looking at the television.

What’s the name of the girl on the screen again?

“Stop being sappy,” Lisa complains, but Jisoo can hear the grin in her voice.

“It’s not sappy if it’s the truth,” Jisoo says, “I love watching you.”

Lisa flushes again. She’s always been easy to fluster, and Jisoo wishes she’d started taking advantage of that earlier.

The Thai girl is quick to regain her composure.

“Fine, then,” she sighs dramatically. “You can keep staring at me, since I’m so entertaining.”

Jisoo laughs. “Thank you, I will.”

The younger smiles, eyes still fixed on the TV, but Jisoo is pretty sure it isn’t because of the drama.

She lets her eyes catch on smooth skin again, a smile pulling at her own lips.

Lisa goes back to watching her show, and Jisoo goes back to watching her, like the lovestruck fool that she is.

The thing is, she has always thought they were some sort of inevitable.

Ever since that first night, when the four of them had spent hours singing along to Chaeyoung’s guitar - it was like something had just clicked.

It felt right. They felt right.

And when they started getting grouped together more often - more consistently - that’s when they began to think they could be something. Would be something.

Jisoo doesn’t know when she started thinking they could be something more.

Maybe it was something that snuck up on her. Maybe it had been there since the beginning.

Whatever the case, when she finally realized it, the only thought she had was:

‘Of course.’

Of course she loves them.

Of course they are each other’s.

It started making sense, then.

The looks and touches that couldn’t be explained away as just friendly. The sense of longing, of yearning, that seemed to permeate their quiet moments. The pushing of boundaries when the cameras roll, because dropping a mask on film will almost definitely be interpreted as putting one on.

When you’re meant to be playing a part, who could tell that you actually mean your lines?

Jisoo has seen the others pull away when they think they’ve gone too far. Has seen them retreat from each other, try to create distance that isn’t meant to exist, couldn’t possibly maintain itself, between them.

Like they couldn’t see how they were walking towards inevitability.

(They’ve always been each other’s. It doesn’t matter how long it takes them to realize it.)

(Because some months Jennie leaves the other girls’ rooms in the morning more often than does her own, because she likes to climb into their beds when she can’t sleep, or just because.)

(Because Lisa asks them to repeat what they just said every other sentence some days, and they all pretend it’s because she’s flighty, and not that she was staring at their lips.)

(Because Chaeyoung looks at them like it hurts, sometimes, and even when she’s smiling there’s this undercurrent of pain, and guilt, and it always makes Jisoo feel like splitting in half, like taking that burden for herself, and she knows the others feel the same way because on those days they end up spoiling Chaeyoung way more than they usually would. And then everything gets a bit messy, because it seems like that makes it worse, sometimes, and Chaeyoung still aches.)

(Because they look at each other like they’re everything, always, and Jisoo only knows this because she caught herself in the mirror of their dance studio once, watching Lisa demonstrate a new choreography, and when she looked at Jennie and Chaeyoung she found their expressions identical to her own.)

(She keeps seeing it, now. It’s like once she started, she couldn’t stop.)

(They’re everything. They’ve always been everything.)

Jisoo read somewhere that home is a feeling. Whoever said that didn’t mention it can also be a person, or three.

Chapter Text

Jisoo feels arms encircle her from behind, and she’s proud that she only startles a little bit. A face settles itself in the junction of her shoulder and her neck, and a tiny “hi” is murmured against her skin.

She holds herself still, trying to fight the blush that is quickly forming on her cheeks. “Hi, Jendeuk. Did you have a nice shower?”

She feels Jennie nod against her neck. “Yeah. Are you making us dinner?”

“Lisa helped,” Jisoo says. “I’m just finishing up now.”

Jennie lets out a contented sigh. Her breath is warm on Jisoo’s skin.

“You guys are the best.”

Jisoo’s lips tug up into a smile. “Just because we feed you.”

She can feel Jennie’s smile; a small, private thing, just barely perceptible on her skin. “Exactly.”

Jisoo laughs, and they stay like that, Jennie wrapped around her while she keeps an eye on their dinner, for a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Eventually, Jisoo begins to register the presence of eyes on them. Jennie notices it too.

“Don’t look now, unnie,” she stage whispers - pressed into Jisoo’s neck, but loud enough that it carries across the room - “but there’s a very pretty girl staring at us.”

Jisoo laughs at the sputtering that Jennie’s words invoke behind them.

She turns the stove off, judging dinner to be ready enough, and turns around, along with Jennie, who has regrettably let go of her.

Lisa is standing on the other side of their kitchen counter, her face a delightful red.

“How long have you been standing there?” Jennie asks.

Jisoo watches her make her way around the counter into Lisa’s arms to greet her. Their height difference lets Jennie press her face directly into the Thai’s neck, arms wrapping around her.

Lisa reciprocates the hug, dropping a kiss on Jennie’s forehead.

“Cute,” Jisoo comments.

Lisa turns her head towards her, careful not to jostle the girl she’s holding, and her eyes are bright and affectionate in a way that warms Jisoo in spite of the distance between them.

“Do you want help with plating, unnie?”

Jisoo smiles. “I could use a hand.”

Dinner is a wonderfully casual affair. Jennie compliments them on the food, and Jisoo and Lisa high-five across the table, making her laugh.

They start making small talk about their days, which leads to Jisoo and Lisa trying to wheedle information about the Vogue thing out of Jennie, to little success.

“You’ll see it when everyone else does!” she insists, grinning at the disgruntled looks on their faces.

“We’re your members!” Jisoo complains. “We should get exclusive information.”

“At least tell us if you’re participating as model or editor,” Lisa bargains.

Jennie laughs, shaking her head. “No. You’re gonna have to wait.” She takes a bite of her kimchi. “I just hope it turns out well.”

“Of course it will go well,” Jisoo says, “You participated in it.”

Jennie blushes.

They finish dinner, and although no one mentions it, Jisoo knows they’re all keenly aware of the missing set among the bowls and chopsticks that are put in the sink.

The three of them end up on the couch, with the TV on for background noise. Jennie is, as usual, practically glued to Jisoo’s side, hands playing with the Cartier ring on her finger.

It makes Jisoo smile.

It used to make her want to combust a little, whenever she thought about the fact that Jennie had gifted her a wedding ring, and still, still, that wasn’t enough to make them acknowledge the feelings between them.

Now it’s another thing that adds to the warmth inside her.

A little farther away (‘Too far,’ Jisoo’s mind supplies), Lisa has the slightest frown on her face as she types something on her phone.

Jisoo has an inkling as to who she’s texting. Her suspicion is confirmed when Lisa sighs quietly, then locks her phone, tossing it to the side.

“Chaeyoung said to tell you guys not to wait up.”

The mood in the room plummets significantly.

They’re all used to the amount of work that is involved in the process of releasing new music. They know all about the all-nighters at the company building, and ordering takeout for dinner to not interrupt the flow, and only stopping by at home for a few hours of sleep.

It’s just that, usually, they’re doing it together.

Jisoo feels Jennie burrow deeper into her, and automatically wraps an arm around her, pulling her even closer.

She looks at Lisa, all alone on the other end of the couch, and gestures for her to join them.

The Thai girl comes quickly, settling against Jisoo’s other side, and she is able to breath in the feeling of having two of her favorite girls this close.

“I feel bad about missing her,” Lisa admits, quietly, into the space between them. “I should be happy for her. She’s been working so hard for this.”

Jisoo feels Jennie shift beside her.

“You’re allowed to be happy for her while also missing her, Lili.”

Lisa sighs, breath falling on Jisoo’s shoulder. “I haven’t gotten to kiss her in a week.”

She means the little cheek and forehead kisses she gives Chaeyoung, at least once a day, whenever they’re both around. Jisoo’s always thought it was cute. Especially since, after a while, Chaeyoung stopped pretending she was annoyed by it, only blushing and giggling at Lisa’s affection.

Suddenly, Jisoo gets an idea.

She gently dislodges herself from Jennie, giving her one last squeeze in apology, then manuevers Lisa so she is sat properly on the couch, before climbing onto her lap in the same way Chaeyoung usually does.

It’s a little imprecise, considering their height difference, but as Jisoo feels Lisa’s hands land on her waist, helping her settle on her lap, she thinks she can get her meaning across.

She presses a kiss to the maknae’s jaw, smiling when she feels her breath hitch.

“Unnie…” Lisa’s voice comes out shaky, and Jisoo feels smug at being the cause of it.

She can feel Jennie’s eyes burning into her, into them.

“Chaeyoung’s missing us too, Lisa-yah.” She breaths the words directly onto taut skin, smirking as Lisa shudders slightly at the feel of them, before their meaning registers in her brain.

Her body sags slightly, and her hands squeeze Jisoo’s waist.

“I know,” she murmurs.

She then presses a kiss to Jisoo’s forehead, then to her cheek, lingering long enough for the older girl to lose the battle against her blush.

Lisa notices, of course, but instead of teasing her, as Jisoo would expect, she kisses her other cheek, whispering a quiet “Thank you” against her skin.

If Jisoo’s face wasn’t burning before, it certainly is now.

She turns her head to the side and finds Jennie staring at them with a silly grin on her face.

“What?” Jisoo asks, a little embarrassed. Sitting in Lisa’s lap makes her feel small. Soft, in a way she’s not used to being. It’s strangely vulnerable, this feeling of being taken care of in someone’s hold.

“Nothing,” Jennie says. “I just like you a lot, is all.”

It only serves to deepen Jisoo’s blush, and she has to hide her face in Lisa’s chest.

That makes the other girls laugh. Jisoo closes her eyes, letting the sound wash over her.

‘I love you,’ she thinks.

Jennie moves closer to them, and Jisoo feels almost complete.

She lets Lisa shower her with kisses, feels Jennie’s quiet joy beside her, and tries to fill in that missing spot in her soul as best as she can while it’s cause is away from them.

Eventually, someone whispers: “She’s going to be incredible.”

The voice is filled with reverence, and it doesn’t matter which one of them said it. All three feel it echoing in their cores.

Chapter Text

She’s deep enough in sleep that she doesn’t hear her door open, but she feels it when her bed dips with another person’s weight.

Jisoo groans, rolling over to her side. She mumbles what could be a question, too slurred to make out any real words.

“Shh, unnie, go back to sleep.”

Jisoo knows that voice.

“Chaeyoung?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Jisoo feels the covers rustle and realizes the other girl has slipped underneath them.

“What are you doing here?” she mumbles, drowsy, but she doesn’t get an answer right away.

She’s about to fall asleep again, ready to succumb to comfortable darkness, when Chaeyoung speaks.

“You’re on set tomorrow, right?”

“Hm? Oh, yes.”

Jisoo feels Chaeyoung shuffle closer, wrapping an arm around her so they’re spooning. It’s nice. Warm. Chaeyoung’s warm.

“Then I can wake up when you do.” Chaeyoung’s breath is falling on her neck. It tickles.

Jisoo turns so they’re face to face, keeping her eyes closed, and lets their legs tangle together.

She takes a deep breath, inhaling Chaeyoung’s scent. She smells nice.

“You smell nice.”

“Thanks, unnie.”

“Miss you,” Jisoo mumbles, shifting closer. She feels nice, too. Warm. Safe.

“I miss you too. So much.”

If Chaeyoung’s voice comes out a bit shaky, Jisoo’s sleep-addled brain isn’t able to catch it.

“Sleep now,” she orders.

“Okay. Goodnight, unnie.”

“G’night.”

Jisoo hears her alarm while she’s still dreaming.

It was a nice dream, but it’s already leaving her as awareness slips back in.

As it turns out though, reality is pretty great too.

There’s someone else in bed with her.

Their legs are tangled together, they’re both holding on to each other, and Jisoo feels warm.

She opens her eyes to see Chaeyoung’s sleeping face.

‘Pretty.’

She takes a few minutes just to stare at her.

Soft features that look even smoother in sleep, a few strands of blonde hair that fell in front of her eyes. Pretty pink lips, just barely parted.

So, so pretty.

Jisoo’s alarm is still blaring in the background, but she ignores it. Right now it’s only a minor nuisance.

Apparently, Chaeyoung disagrees.

Her face scrunches up, forming a crinkle in her forehead, and she lets out a cute little grumble.

“Turn it off.”

Jisoo smiles. “If I turn it off, we’ll both go back to sleep,” she says.

Chaeyoung pouts, eyes still closed. Jisoo wants to kiss it off her face.

“Five more minutes,” the blonde whines, cuddling closer to her. “Please.”

Jisoo gives in.

They stay in bed a little longer, until Jisoo’s alarm gives up its ringing.

When the sound stops, that’s how Jisoo knows they really need to get up now.

She detangles herself from Chaeyoung, missing her warmth immediately, and heads off to get ready.

She hears the younger girl grumble in her wake, but she’s confident she will be getting up too.

She’s proven right a few minutes later, when she feels arms wrap around her as she’s looking into her closet.

“Good morning, unnie,” Chaeyoung says, resting her chin on Jisoo’s shoulder.

“Good morning, Chaeyoung-ah. Did you sleep well?”

“Mm-hm.” Jisoo feels her nod. “Better than I have in a while.”

“Yeah?” Jisoo asks softly.

She receives a hum in reply.

“Okay. Go get ready, and we’ll have breakfast together?” she pitches the end of the sentence up, turning it into a question.

“That sounds nice,” Chaeyoung says. She presses a kiss to Jisoo’s shoulder, giggling at how her skin flushes red, and heads off to her room.

Jisoo gets ready with a silly grin on her face.

They’ve only been in the kitchen for a few minutes when Jisoo hears footsteps coming from the direction of the rooms. She didn’t think anyone else would be up at this hour, so she’s surprised to see Lisa paddle into the living room, still in her pajamas.

Later, Jisoo will wish she had a camera on her to capture the look on Lisa’s face when she spots Chaeyoung.

Shock and surprise, before she visibly perks up, sheer joy lighting up her eyes.

It’s nothing compared to the way Chaeyoung herself squees, all but vaulting over the counter to launch herself at her.

Lisa manages to catch her, stumbling back with the impact, as Chaeyoung’s legs wrap around her waist and her arms loop around her neck.

She murmurs something into Lisa’s ear, and Jisoo is too far away to hear, but she can guess:

“I missed you so much.”

She holds onto Lisa tightly, like she’s afraid the other girl will disappear if she lets go.

Eventually, Lisa lets her down to the floor, and takes her face in her hands. She kisses her: first one cheek, then the other one, then her nose, then whatever part of her face she can reach, while Chaeyoung giggles sweetly.

Jisoo watches them with a smile, until Lisa pulls back, and she sees her eyes flick to Chaeyoung’s lips.

She feels too warm all of a sudden.

Lisa glances up into Chaeyoung’s eyes, checking, asking for permission. Then, she glances down again, and closes the gap between them.

The kiss is slow, gentle. Testing the waters of something new and fragile, but so beautiful.

Jisoo feels her breath leave her in an exhale, and realizes she’s staring.

She tears her eyes away, cheeks burning, and tries to busy herself picking out mugs for them to have coffee, but the image of Lisa and Chaeyoung kissing seems to have imprinted itself into her brain.

Eventually, she hears soft sighs behind her, but she doesn’t dare turn back to the living room.

“Wow…” she hears Chaeyoung say.

“Yeah…” Lisa’s voice is breathy. “Wow.”

God.

When Jisoo finally brings herself to turning around, she finds the two women standing on the other side of the counter, watching her, with giddy smiles on both of their faces, and matching blushes.

“So,” Chaeyoung starts, smile widening as she addresses Jisoo, and the older girl notices that she’s got Lisa’s arms wrapped around her torso, holding her close. “Breakfast?”

Jisoo is about to answer when Jennie walks in, fully dressed and ready for the day.

She stops in surprise when she sees all three of them already in the kitchen.

Chaeyoung’s smile gets even bigger. “Unnie!”

She tries to go over to hug her, but Lisa refuses to let go of her grip, so she ends up having to drag her over too. They end up in a three-way hug, which turns into a four-way hug once Jisoo realizes she can and should join them.

She relishes in the feeling of being together again, all four of them, before a nagging thought causes her to pull away slightly, looking at Jennie.

“What are you doing up already?”

Jennie makes a puzzled face, brows pinching together. “I’m going on set with you today, remember? You said I could visit… unless that’s not okay anymore-”

Realization washes over her.

“Oh, no, wait no- I mean yes of course you can come-” Jisoo feels like slapping herself. She’d completely forgotten she’d invited Jennie to accompany her on set today. Between how tired she’d been last night and waking up with Chaeyoung in her bed this morning, it had completely slipped her mind.

Lisa catches on to it. “You forgot, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t,” Jisoo lies. “I mean, I just-”

And now Jennie has this little pout on her face that makes it extremely hard for Jisoo to form sentences, or think. Or do anything.

“Breakfast!” she blurts out. “We’re gonna have breakfast, all four of us! That’ll be nice!”

She turns back around towards the kitchen, all three of her girls laughing at her. It’s not often that Jisoo is the one who gets ganged up on, and she’s now realizing it’s a very easy way to fluster her. She hopes the others don’t notice that anytime soon.

They eat breakfast together, and it really is nice. Chaeyoung is smiling so much that she barely has time to eat, which is saying something, since it’s Chaeyoung. She’d missed them, as much as they missed her, and she’s positively glowing as she chatters on about the preparations for her solo debut, and how weird it is that she’s having to do everything alone, but that she’s really happy with how it’s all turning out.

“I want a signed copy of the album as soon as it’s out,” Jennie says.

“Me too,” Jisoo agrees.

“Me three!” Lisa grins.

Chaeyoung laughs. “You’ll be the first ones to get them,” she promises.

When Jisoo’s driver arrives to pick her and Jennie up, Chaeyoung hugs them tightly, kissing their cheeks. She’s set to leave in a little bit for rehearsal, but until then she’ll probably stay cuddled to Lisa on the couch.

The maknae doesn’t actually have a schedule until later in the day, when she needs to film for Youth With You, but she’d gotten up in the hopes of catching Chaeyoung in the morning before she left.

The memory of the two of them kissing surfaces in Jisoo’s mind, and she thinks they might do more than just cuddle before Chaeyoung goes.

Jennie teasingly asks her why she’s blushing when they settle into the car, but with the managers there Jisoo can only promise to tell her later.

She’s got her head leaning on the window, as she lets her thoughts turn to her job, and the scenes they’ll be shooting today. Throughout the ride, Jennie is pressed into her side, playing with her ring.

It’s going to be a good day.

Chapter Text

Being on a TV show set is different from anything Jennie has ever experienced. It’s nothing like when they shoot MVs. The production team is so big, and it seems like everywhere Jennie looks, there are people running around getting a different job done. The lack of music is a big giveaway too.

But the thing that impresses Jennie the most is how seamlessly Jisoo fits into it all.

She introduces Jennie to several crew members, and it’s incredible to see how everyone loves her, from wardrobe, to hair and make up, to the producers. Jisoo has little inside jokes with every one of them, or so it seems. It’s a gift of hers, to put everyone at ease around her.

Jennie, for her part, is content to watch the older woman in her element.

When the cameras start rolling, she can only stare in awe as Jisoo quite literally becomes Youngcho.

She hopes, vaguely, that no one pays too close attention to the silly, lovesick smile on her face.

Jisoo catches her looking in between takes, and Jennie knows she’s giving her very obvious heart-eyes, but she doesn’t feel at all inclined to stop.

Especially when Jisoo blushes (like, really, honestly blushes), and looks down. Jennie’s grin feels like it could split her face in half.

“She’s really good at this, isn’t she?”

Jennie blinks, turning her head. A woman close to her age has sidled up beside her. Jisoo had introduced them earlier, she realizes. Her name is Lee Eun-ji, and Jennie’s pretty sure she works in lighting.

Jennie glances at where Jisoo is standing, paying close attention to the director’s words.

“She’s incredible.”

She’s scared for a moment that adoration in her voice is too much, too obvious, but Eun-ji only smiles at her.

“Jisoo-ssi is lucky to have a friend like you to support her,” she says.

Jennie shakes head with a smile, demurring:

“I’m the one lucky to have her.”

Eun-ji has no idea how much she means it.

The next scene is between the show’s two protagonists.

Watching Jisoo and Hae-in together triggers emotions that Jennie really should not be experiencing. That being, jealousy, which is both irrational and unwarranted.

‘They’re just doing their jobs,’ Jennie reminds herself.

Still, an uncomfortable feeling grows in the pit of her stomach.

She wishes Chaeyoung and Lisa were here, so they could stop her from freaking out so much, tell her she’s being silly, or at least distract her from the scene unfolding.

Thinking of the two of them reminds her of what Jisoo told her when they first got to set, before she was hurried off to hair and makeup.

Lisa and Chaeyoung had kissed this morning.

Jennie wishes she had been there to see it. And then she feels like something of a creep for wishing that. But, well, they haven’t talked about that kind of stuff yet, have they? All she knows is that she likes seeing her members be with each other almost as much as she likes being with them. And she hopes - is almost sure - that it’s mutual.

Her own words come back to her.

“Just because we can’t go on a date yet doesn’t mean we can’t do other things.”

It flusters her enough to make her blink her eyes back into focus, heat rushing to her cheeks, and she’s once again faced with a scene she’d rather not watch, this time accompanied by a truly unwanted thought:

‘Have they kissed yet?’

That stops her in her tracks, makes the spike of jealousy in her grow three sizes.

Green has never been Jennie’s color, but the idea that Hae-in could have gotten to kiss Jisoo before she’d ever gotten the chance is-

Thank God Eun-ji has already left to do her job, or Jennie would have to explain why her expression suddenly does a one-eighty.

Fortunately, after this scene is the scheduled lunch break. Which means Jennie can get to Jisoo before somebody talks one look at her face and decides she’s a frigid bitch, and that gets plastered all over the tabloids.

Jisoo only needs to glance at her to realize someone is wrong.

She makes her excuses to her cast members as Jennie slides up beside her and grabs her hand, telling them they’ll join them for lunch in a little bit, she just needs to grab something from her dressing room.

Then she guides Jennie through the set, to a door with a little plaque that has “Kim Ji-soo” on it. The sight is enough to make Jennie smile, momentarily distracting her.

Jisoo’s dressing room is nice. There’s a pretty beige couch next to the door, with the vanity across from it, and several racks of outfits that Jisoo will be wearing in scenes today. Jennie spots a mini fridge in the corner before Jisoo spins her around to face her.

“Why are you upset?”

It takes her a minute to register the words. Jisoo’s face is so close she could count her eyelashes, and wow, she’s… beautiful.

(Jennie has known that for a long time, but it still stuns her.)

She finds herself staring at Jisoo’s lips, her tongue slipping out to wet her own.

Jisoo calls her name.

Jennie abruptly lifts her eyes up, cheeks flushing.

“Sorry,” she mumbles.

Jisoo is frowning at her, brow knitted in concern.

“Are you okay?” she asks, taking Jennie’s face in her hands, and whatever reply she was going to give her dies in her throat.

Her hands are so warm.

“I- yes, unnie,” Jennie chokes out.

Jisoo frowns harder.

“It’s really- I’m fine, honest. Everything’s okay,” Jennie promises.

The other girl regards her carefully.

“You seemed upset, earlier.”

Jennie blushes.

“I, uh-” Her little stint of jealousy feels silly when Jisoo is looking at her like that.

It tumbles out of her. “Have you shot any kiss scenes yet?”

She watches, face red, as Jisoo’s concern is replaced by understanding, and the beginnings of a smirk that shouldn’t be as hot as it is.

“So what if I have?” the actress teases, eyes sparkling, and Jennie pouts.

She turns her face to the side, feeling Jisoo’s hands slip away only to slide down her arms, leaving Jennie with goosebumps.

“That’s why you were upset? You were jealous?” Jisoo sounds entirely too pleased by that.

Jennie mumbles something that’s meant to be “I was not,” and Jisoo laughs.

She can’t help but look back at her, then.

Jisoo’s happiness is too enticing to not pay attention to, even at her expense.

(Wow, Jennie has it bad.)

Jisoo catches her eyes, smiling at her.

“We actually haven’t gotten to the kiss scenes yet,” she says, and Jennie feels way too relieved by that. “And… you know you have nothing to be jealous of. Hae-in is my co-star. You and the girls are my-”

She cuts herself off in the middle of her sentence, and Jennie remembers that for all that these last few weeks have felt blissful, they haven’t actually defined what they are to each other.

But that’s something for the four of them to discuss together, later.

For now Jisoo looks down quickly, and Jennie finds herself taking a step closer to her.

“I know,” Jennie says. It’s not that she was really jealous in the first place, just- “I just don’t like thinking that he gets to kiss you before I do.”

It feels so childish, when she says it out loud.

But then Jisoo is smirking at her, and: “There’s a very easy way to fix that.”

Jennie sort of, bluescreens, for a second.

“W-what?”

When her brain is back up and running, Jisoo’s face is so close- when did they get this close? And she keeps looking down at Jennie’s lips and wow is it warm in here all of sudden.

Her head feels like a mess, and it must show on her face because Jisoo chuckles - low and sexy in a way that shoots through her, and Jennie feels it - literally, they’re so close that their breaths are mixing - and then Jisoo says, voice colored with dark amusement:

“Jennie, kiss me.”

So she does.

Jisoo’s lips are soft, like she’s often thought they would be, and she kisses Jennie like it’s something she was meant to be doing all her life. Jennie wishes she had been.

Jisoo’s hands land on her waist, pulling her even closer, and Jennie responds by looping her arms sound Jisoo’s neck, scratching lightly at the baby hairs she finds there.

It makes Jisoo sigh into the kiss, and Jennie finds herself parting her lips, allowing her tongue to slip inside.

God, why haven’t they been doing this forever?

Eventually, the need for oxygen makes itself known, and they pull away, panting.

Jisoo’s eyes are hooded and dark, boring into her. Jennie burns.

“We should’ve done this earlier,” she whispers.

She’s not sure if she means earlier as in when they first confessed their feelings, or earlier as in ten years ago.

“We should have,” Jisoo agrees. She kisses her again, and Jennie gets swept off in it, senses narrowing down to just Jisoo.

The older girl draws a moan out of her, and Jennie feels her inhale sharply in response, hands tightening around her waist.

When they pull away again, Jennie does it with a pint of regret.

“People are going to start wondering where you are,” she cautions.

Jisoo stares at her, and for a second Jennie thinks she’ll ignore her - some part of her hopes for it - but then she makes a face.

“I hate that you’re right.”

She steals another peck from her before walking to the vanity, and Jennie smiles.

She wonders, as she watches the other girl fix her makeup, how she’s supposed to act normally now, when she knows what Jisoo tastes like.

Chapter Text

She’s standing there, watching crew members go around adjusting the lights for the next scene, when she gets the text.

Lili 💗

hey

how’re things over there?

Jennie smiles, typing out a reply.

You

it’s been fun

they’re switching scenes now

unnie looks gorgeous

She almost doesn’t send the last text. It’s the kind of spontaneous thought she would get and then do her best to deny afterwards, before.

Now she can share it, and it makes her want to giggle into her phone like a schoolgirl.

Lili 💗

i bet she does

i wish i could have come with you guys

You

don’t you have to film for ywy?

Lili 💗

only in a few hours

are you okay to call?

Instead of texting back, Jennie opts to press the call button.

Lisa picks up on the first ring.

“Hi.” Her voice is high and sweet through the receiver. Jennie can hear the smile on her face. It makes her own grow wider.

“Hi back. What were you doing right now?”

Jennie pictures Lisa’s shrug.

“Nothing,” she says.

“Missing you,” comes the correction.

Jennie blushes, probably for the thirtieth time today.

“Lili,” she whines.

The Thai girl laughs on the other end.

“Sorry,” she says, sounding anything but. “You guys left so fast this morning, I feel like I barely got to see you. How has your day been?”

“It’s been nice. TV sets are crazy.” Jennie looks around, glancing at the people passing by. “Can you stay on the line? I’m gonna try to go somewhere a bit more private.”

She hears Lisa hum in acknowledgement, and makes her way across the set to Jisoo’s dressing room.

The older girl had assured her during lunch that she was free to go there if she got bored of the filming, and while Jennie isn’t bored at all, what she wants to tell Lisa could use the privacy of an enclosed space.

“So…” she starts, when the door is safely locked behind her.

“So…” Lisa echoes.

“I kissed Jisoo-unnie.”

Lisa is quiet for a few moments, then:

“Was it nice?”

Jennie blushes. “…It was really, really nice.”

“You wanted to keep doing it, but she had to work, huh?” Lisa guesses. There’s a smile in her voice.

Jennie sighs. “Had to have lunch, actually. But, same difference.”

Still in public. Still having to act “normal”.

It had been harder than Jennie thought it would be. Especially since Jisoo kept catching her eyes and smirking at her, and Jennie wanted to kiss it off her face every time.

She’s scared that she doesn’t know how to be subtle. That she won’t be able to hide her feelings from the world now that she’s stopped denying them to herself. She kept wondering, all throughout lunch, if someone was going to figure her out, with the way she couldn’t stop gravitating towards Jisoo, like some kind of lovesick puppy.

Jennie knows that out of the four of them, she has the worst track record for keeping relationships secret.

“Nini?”

Lisa’s voice pulls her back from her thoughts.

“Hi- sorry.”

“Are you okay? You flew away from me for a second there.”

If she closes her eyes, Jennie can picture the concern that must be pinching Lisa’s face. She’s suddenly hit with an acute longing for the younger girl.

“I’m okay.”

“I’d be better if you were here,” is carefully left unsaid.

It’s stupid. They saw each other this morning. But still, if Lisa were here, Jennie knows she would hug her, hold her, speak to her in a painfully earnest voice and wash all her insecurities away.

Lisa doesn’t press her for more, she never does. She just waits until Jennie is ready to say what she needs to.

Eventually, after nearly a minute of just hearing each other’s breathing, Jennie breaks her silence.

“Do you ever get scared?”

She hears Lisa shift on whatever she’s sitting. “Scared of what?”

Jennie swallows, picking her words carefully.

“This, what we’re doing, if anyone finds out…” It could ruin their careers. Everything they’ve worked for up to this point, down the drain. It could ruin them.

(And this, here, is what scares her the most: that they would grow to resent each other for it.)

Lisa is silent on the other end, and Jennie finds herself holding her breath as she waits for her response.

When it finally comes, it’s nothing she had expected.

“I kissed Chaeng today.”

Jennie blinks, wondering what that has to do with anything. Still, she can’t stop the tiny smile that forms on her face. “I heard.”

“I kissed her,” Lisa lets the words hover between them, almost like she’s savoring it, “and God, Jen, it was everything… everything I imagined it would be.”

Marvel is in her voice, a soft sort of wonder, and Jennie feels her heart stutter in her chest, hearing Lisa sound like that.

“I never thought I could have that,” the Thai continues, “I didn’t think any of you would feel the same way. I couldn’t imagine you would want me like this.”

There is an old wound, there. One Lisa had resigned herself to, allowed to scar over. It cuts through Jennie, now.

“Lisa,” she breathes, eyes stinging.

“I was okay with it,” Lisa promises, “I was fine with staying in your lives in whatever way you wanted me.

“But now.. now that I get to have you in the way I want, now that I get to be yours in the way I want to be… I don’t think there’s any kind of fear that could bring me to give that up.”

When she stops talking, Jennie finds herself in tears.

“Lisa, that’s- God, I-” she chokes up, unable to finish the sentence.

Alarm fills the other girl’s voice. “Are you crying?”

“A little bit,” Jennie sniffles. “But it’s okay.”

Her heart is pounding, the sensation in her chest expanding so she feels like she’ll explode if she doesn’t let it out somehow.

“Lisa, you’re-” everything. God, but she is everything. “I love you so much.”

Lisa gasps audibly.

Jennie realizes what she said, and she nearly panics, but- no. She means it. She means it, and she wants Lisa to know it.

“I love you,” she repeats.

It’s not enough. She wishes Lisa were here, so she could show her- and she never meant to say this for the first time over the phone, but it’s the only thing that can express her feelings at the moment.

Lisa doesn’t respond right away, but Jennie doesn’t worry. She feels extremely at peace, right now.

Finally, the answer comes, like she know it would:

“I love you too,” Lisa says. Jennie is smiling before she even finishes the words. “And I really, really want to kiss you right now.”

The breathlessness the last sentence is spoken in makes Jennie’s mouth dry, and she has to close her eyes, swallowing.

“Once we’re both home,” she promises.

Which is many, many hours from now. Jennie has never begrudged conflicting schedules as she is currently.

“Okay,” Lisa agrees. A beat passes. “Are you still feeling scared?”

Jennie takes a moment to consider her answer.

The fear of being found out is a sad fact of relationships, in lives like theirs. And it’s even worse since it’s the four of them, and with them all being women.

“I think I’ll always be a bit scared,” she starts, “but, what you said… I don’t think I can give this up for anything either.”

Chapter Text

The couch in Jisoo’s dressing room is surprisingly comfortable. Jennie is currently lounging across it, watching her unnie remove her make up through the vanity mirror.

After hanging up with Lisa, she’d headed back out to watch the rest of the filming. Her conversation with the Thai girl had left her filled to bursting with love, and not even watching Jisoo’s scenes with Hae-in had put a damper on her mood.

Now the day is over, the sun almost finished in its descent, and they’re free to pack up and go home.

Jennie watches Jisoo fiddle with something on the vanity, smiling when she sees the older girl slide her Cartier ring on her finger.

Jennie had bought it for her on an impulse, one she had regretted when Jisoo’s immediate reaction upon receiving it had been to stare intensely at her for what felt like an eternity.

“You bought me a wedding ring,” Jisoo said blankly.

“I- yes,” Jennie stammered. “I saw it and I thought it would look good on you- I mean, I thought it was pretty. Do you not like it?”

Jisoo continued to stare at her. Jennie screamed internally.

‘You freaking idiot, what did you do?!’

‘Who the hell buys their best friend a wedding ring?!’

Jisoo’s eyes flickered from Jennie to the little velvet box. The ring really was pretty. Jennie had seen it while she was online shopping, and she’d immediately wanted to buy it for Jisoo, because- her birthday was coming up. 

(And maybe Jennie got a little lost in the fantasy of seeing Jisoo wear her gift on her finger, hers , and before she knew it she was adding it to her cart and completing the purchase.)

Jisoo looked back up at her. The blank expression was gone, replaced by a smile that seemed too strained around the edges. Still, she held out her hand.

“Put it on me?”

Jennie swallowed, trying to calm her nerves as she carefully picked up the ring and slid it onto Jisoo’s fourth finger. She pretended she didn’t hear Jisoo’s sharp inhale. Pretended she couldn’t see her own hand shaking, just a little.

“Happy Birthday, unnie,” she murmured, still cradling Jisoo’s hand.

It was warm. Why was she so warm?

“Thank you, Jennie.”

Jisoo had worn the ring almost everywhere since she’d gifted it.

Jennie still blushes when she sees it, even as it makes her feel just that little bit smug, that Jisoo is showing off that she’s hers - in one way or another.

Still smiling, Jennie lets her eyes drift up from Jisoo’s hands to her face, only to find the other girl already looking at her through the mirror.

She’s smirking, and Jennie is quickly finding out that Jisoo’s smirks are a great way to get her flushed.

‘Get it together,’ she tells herself.

Jisoo gets up from the vanity, gesturing for Jennie to sit up. She does so, bemused, and then Jisoo is climbing into her lap, effectively straddling her.

‘Um.’

Jisoo giggles lightly at the look on her face, hands coming up to play with the hairs on Jennie’s neck. Automatically, Jennie’s hands settle on her waist.

She feels a bit blown away by how beautiful Jisoo is. Here, up close, and with her face free of make-up.

She is always beautiful, of course. But there is something about this Jisoo, bare-faced and fresh, that never fails to leave Jennie breathless.

Maybe it’s because she knows there are feel people who have the opportunity to see her like this, and so every time it feels like a privilege.

“Hi,” Jisoo says.

“Hi,” Jennie says back.

“How did you like today?” Jisoo’s fingers scratch lightly at her neck, and Jennie has to concentrate on her words. “I hope you didn’t get too bored.”

The words are gentle in the space between them, but Jennie has known Jisoo long enough to recognize the insecurity in them.

“I didn’t get bored at all,” she reassures, thumbs tracing patterns where Jisoo’s shirt rose up on her waist. “You’re amazing. I had a great time.”

Jisoo ducks her face into her neck, but not before Jennie spots the red climbing to her cheeks.

Jennie grins. Bashful Jisoo is hard to come by, but when she does it’s always delightful.

“Unnie,” she teases, “stop hiding.”

Jisoo laughs against her neck, breath hitting Jennie’s skin. It leaves goose bumps.

Jennie inhales softly, smile not leaving her lips. “Please? I want to see your pretty face.”

Jisoo shakes her head. “No, you smell nice.”

Jennie giggles. 

“Thanks, it’s Chanel.”

“Mm, no,” Jisoo sighs. “Just you. Jendeuk. My Jendeuk.”

Oh.

Jennie’s breath leaves her.

“Yours,” she finds herself saying, voice hoarse.

This is- she feels too flustered to think, all of a sudden.

Jisoo notices. Jisoo always notices.

She pulls away from Jennie’s neck and takes in her flushed face.

“Mine,” she says. It’s almost a question.

“Yours,” Jennie agrees. “And Lisa’s, and Chaeyoung’s.”

Not as an aftermath. Never as an aftermath.

She takes a shuddering breath.

“Ours, then,” Jisoo says. And Jennie- Jennie is- “Jennie, can I kiss you?”

Jennie nods, breathes out “yes,” and then Jisoo’s lips are on hers.

Keyed up as she is, there is no way for the kiss to remain chaste.

She grants Jisoo entrance the moment she asks for it, her tongue slipping inside to stroke hers. Her hands are stroking up and down Jisoo’s sides, and Jisoo’s hands are at the back of her head, in Jennie’s hair. She takes a handful of it and tugs .

The moan Jennie lets out is long and high pitched.

She would be embarrassed by it, except she can’t think of anything that isn’t ‘fuck, please, do that again.’

Her nails dig into Jisoo’s sides. Jisoo groans.

“Fuck, Jennie. We- we can’t-” she pulls away, leaving them both panting. “Our managers- our managers are waiting for us.”

Jennie doesn’t give a fuck about managers right now. “They can wait a little longer,” she rasps, and she barely recognizes her own voice.

Jisoo stares at her.

Jennie can picture what her own face must look like. Dark eyes. Swollen lips. So perfectly debauched, because of- for Jisoo.

‘Please.’

Jisoo’s eyes catch on her lips. Fingers slide through her hair. Jennie knows she’s already won.

“Alright,” Jisoo murmurs, pupils swallowing her iris. “A little longer.”

Chapter Text

Lisa does her best to be quiet as she steps into the dorm. The amount of shoes already in the entrance hall indicate she’s the last one to arrive home tonight.

Shooting for Youth With You had gone late, which isn’t surprising, considering the time zone differences. It’s not the best set up, working through a screen, but Lisa makes do for her trainees.

All the dogs and cats that cohabitate their apartment are already asleep, not even stirring at her entrance, and if that isn’t an indicator of how late it is, she doesn’t know what would be.

Which is why it is all the more surprising when she pads into the hallway where their rooms are and sees Jennie’s lights are on.

Lisa is in front of her door, hand brushing the doorknob, before she remembers herself. She slips into her own room instead for a quick shower, and throws on pajamas. It’s only after she’s thoroughly clean that she allows herself to walk into the room beside hers.

Jennie is sitting on her bed, scrolling through her phone. She looks up when Lisa comes in, and her expression brightens.

“Hi.” 

Her voice is quiet, respecting the fragility of the hour. Lisa makes sure to match her. “Hi.” 

She joins Jennie on the bed, one leg folded beneath her, the other hanging off the side.

“Would I be too arrogant if I assumed you were waiting up for me?” she asks, only half teasing.

Jennie breaks into a smile. “No, you’d just be right.”

Lisa blushes, looking down so Jennie can’t see her grin.

“Well, I’m here now.”

“You are,” Jennie agrees. “And so am I.”

Lisa is pulled back to their conversation earlier on the phone.

“Once we’re both home,” Jennie had said.

Lisa looks up at her face. Her gaze lingers on soft lips. Unconsciously, her tongue peeks out to wet her own. She watches cat-like eyes drop to follow the movement.

Her mouth dries.

“Would I be even more arrogant,” she risks, “if I thought you stayed up for a goodnight kiss?”

Jennie’s breath hitches. 

“No,” she breathes. Her eyes meet Lisa’s. “I think you’d just be right again.”

It’s all the confirmation Lisa needs, and before she can second-guess herself, she starts closing the distance between them. Jennie meets her halfway, pressing their lips together, and oh , Lisa wants to come home to this every night.

Jennie coaxes her into climbing fully on the bed, ending up on her lap. 

They kiss slow, soft, and sensual. Jennie’s hands are on her waist; warming her, grounding her. Lisa sighs into her mouth, letting herself settle into the kiss, into Jennie .

Eventually, they have to part for air, but Lisa doesn’t go far. She rests their foreheads together, breathing slowly.

Lisa blinks her eyes open, taking in Jennie’s features. Her eyes are still closed, her lips tilted up in content. Soft and gorgeous and hers .

Lisa’s heart beats steady in her chest. There’s only one thing to say.

“I love you.”

Jennie’s smile grows. She doesn’t open her eyes, but sighs happily. “I love you too.”

The words warm Lisa as much as they did earlier in the day, only with the added bonus that Jennie is with her while she says them.

Her chest swells as Jennie opens her eyes finally, looking at her in adoration. She doesn’t know how she got this lucky.

She thinks Jennie is going to say something else, but then she lets out the tiniest, cutest yawn on the planet.

Lisa melts .

“Are you tired, Nini? Do you want to sleep?” 

Jennie shakes her head, pouting, but a second yawn betrays her.

Lisa yawns reflexively in response, trying to hide her mirth.

She doesn’t think she quite manages it.

“I missed you today. I don’t want to sleep yet,” Jennie says.

Lisa’s cheeks heat.

“I missed you too. A lot,” she admits. “But you’re tired, and I am too. We need to sleep, I can- Can I sleep here?”

“You better,” Jennie grumbles. But she’s already maneuvering so that they can both slip under the covers.

They face each other, Jennie tucking herself into Lisa’s body, her cold feet trying to warm themselves on hers, and Lisa’s heart is right where it’s supposed to be, except they’re missing half.

“Are Chaeng and Jichu together?” she asks the question into Jennie’s hair.

She feels the older girl nod. “They’re sleeping in unnie’s room. They wake up at the same time.”

That makes sense. Lisa pictures them cuddled together on Jisoo’s bed, just across the hall, and mirror of her and Jennie right now.

It fills her simultaneously with warmth and longing. She wonders, vaguely, as her body succumbs to the hour, when the next time the four of them get to be together for longer than a meal will be.

In the meantime, Jennie is warm and perfect and here with her. Her breath evens out, and Lisa follows her into sleep.

Chapter Text

There is a soft body beneath her, a chest rising and falling with even breaths. She burrows into it, a hand that had previously been unnoticed stroking her hair, and she feels the vibrations of soft chuckles.

Awareness begins to creep back into Chaeyoung.

Miraculously, there is no alarm to blast her awake.

Another presence clings to her from behind, surrounding her with warmth. A stray arm has been thrown over her stomach, and legs tangle with hers under the covers. She breathes deeply, the smell of lemon and ginger suffusing her senses.

“Good morning,” a voice murmurs, low and gravely with sleep.

Chaeyoung blinks her eyes open.

Jisoo’s just-barely-awake face greets her, lips tugging up into a smile even as she chases off the remnants of sleep.

Chaeyoung goes to say something, but instead she yawns, and then ends up giggling as it triggers a chain of more sympathetic yawns around her.

She tries again.

“I should release music every day, if I get up to wake up like this.”

Soft laughter behind her.

“Our blinks would love that,” Jennie says.

Chaeyoung tilts her head up, pressing a kiss to the curve of Lisa’s jaw. The younger woman sighs, shuddery, and Chaeyoung smiles against her skin, knowing her eyes have closed.

“I’d love it too.”

She doesn’t say anything else, and the room falls back into silence. Still quite a bit sleepy, and indescribably comfortable, Chaeyoung lets herself bask in the warmth of her girls surrounding her.

God, it’s been so long.

Too little time passes before her perfect moment is disturbed.

“Chaeng,” Lisa’s voice is coaxing, and Chaeyoung groans preemptively, knowing exactly what she’ll say: “We need to get up.”

The “we” is a welcome surprise, so much lovelier than the ever lonely singular “you”.

And so it is with only some reluctance that Chaeyoung joins the others in the bothersome task of untangling themselves from each other and getting up.

Before she can actually leave the bed, though, she finds herself lying on her back.

Lisa looms above her, a conspicuous inversion of their position moments before, and Chaeyoung has barely expressed her bemusement when Lisa leans down and kisses her.

Chaeyoung kisses back, sighing in contentment. Yeah, she could stand to wake up to this more often.

Lisa eventually pulls away, and they breathe each other in for a few moments, until the weight of eyes on them has them both turning their heads to the side.

Jennie is staring at them with the softest look imaginable on her face. It makes Chaeyoung’s heart speed up in her chest.

The Korean’s smile turns mischievous once she notices she’s been caught. “Where’s my good morning kiss?” she teases.

Lisa’s bright laughter fills the room. She rolls off of Chaeyoung and leaves the bed, walking to Jennie and carefully cradling her face in her hands before kissing her too.

Chaeyoung props herself on an elbow to watch them, warmth flickering in her chest.

It’s moments like this that remind her of how she is so stupidly, deliriously in love. And unlike less than a month ago, now she doesn’t think it’ll ruin her.

How could she, when Lisa pulls away from Jennie to flash her a brilliant smile, before turning that same beam at Chaeyoung, sending her insides rioting with butterflies.

She ducks her head, feeling her cheeks heat.

“And you, unnie? Want a morning kiss as well?” Lisa asks, smile coating her voice.

Chaeyoung turns around to see Jisoo’s good-natured eyeroll. 

Lisa’s too far, anyway. All the way on the other side of the bed, and it’s with that in mind that Chaeyoung finally gets up, coming to stand just before Jisoo.

“ Do you want a morning kiss, unnie?” Chaeyoung teases. She tucks a stray strand hair behind Jisoo’s ear, revelling in her answering blush.

Jisoo stares up at her, holding her gaze, then deliberately dropping her eyes to her lips. “What do you think?” she breathes.

Heat curdles low in Chaeyoung’s belly.

She finds herself mirroring Lisa as she cups Jisoo’s face and brings their lips together.

Jisoo’s lips are soft and sure against her own, and her hands loop around Chaeyoung’s waist, pulling her closer.

Chaeyoung licks at the seam of her lips and Jisoo opens easily, yielding to her. Their tongues slide together and Chaeyoung feels her legs turn to jelly, every part of her decidedly awake now.

Jisoo moans softly into her mouth, and that snaps her out of her trance.

Slowly, she does her best to chasten the kiss, because- they do have to get ready.

When she pulls away, Jisoo stares at her with hooded eyes. Her thumbs trace circles on Chaeyoung’s waist, where her shirt had ridden up. The touch leaves behind goosebumps.

On the other side of the room, what sounds a little like a cough steals her attention.

Jennie and Lisa are staring at her, both with some modicum of surprise - and maybe desire.

Chaeyoung’s face burns.

That might have been a little much for so early in the morning.

“Um, well, food?” Jennie is the one to break the silence, words a little stilted. Chaeyoung nods, and watches as Lisa does the same.

Getting ready, then food.

Even though what she’d really like to do is take them all back to bed with her. Not necessarily to sleep.

“Right, um, okay.”

Lisa and Jennie make their way out of Chaeyoung’s room, presumably to start their morning routines. Meanwhile, Chaeyoung is about to start looking for her phone when she realizes Jisoo hasn’t let go.

“Unnie?” She tilts her head questionately.

“Chaeyoung-ah.”

The way Jisoo’s voice curls around the syllables of her name makes her shiver. She’s still looking at her with dark eyes, her lips barely parted.

“Next time you kiss me like that, do it sometime when you can follow through.”

Heat burns through her.

“Right,” Chaeyoung whispers. “Sorry.”

Jisoo laughs a little, still breathless, low in her throat. “I’m not.”

She lets go of Chaeyoung’s waist, and steps away. To say Chaeyoung misses the warmth immediately is an understatement.

At the doorway to her room, she looks back at Chaeyoung. “Meet us in the living room, okay?”

Then, in a softer tone, smile turning painfully genuine:

“You’re going to be amazing today.”

It warms Chaeyoung in an entirely different way.

Chapter Text

Chaeyoung sits in the kitchen and watches Jennie make her breakfast. She had tried to help, but then Jennie said “Just sit down and let me spoil you,” with a look that was trying to be stern, and she’d melted for her.

So Chaeyoung just watches as Jennie makes her food and then sits across from her on the counter to watch her eat.

“You didn’t have to do this, you know?” she says, after the food is gone and it’s still just the two of them in the kitchen.

Jennie smiles at her. “I know. I just want you to have everything you want.” 

She doesn’t say it’s just for today, just because her solo is coming out, and that makes Chaeyoung’s cheeks burn.

She feels a burst of confidence. “Then I want you to be closer.”

Jennie’s eyes widen, but so does her smile, and she starts making her way around the counter. Chaeyoung spins around on the bar stool to greet her. The older girl steps between her legs, and Chaeyoung places her hands on her waist to pull her towards her, reminiscent of what Jisoo had done to her earlier that morning.

“Is this close enough?” Jennie asks, a teasing glint in her eye.

“Mm, it’ll do for now,” Chaeyoung grins. She slides her hands up and down Jennie’s waist. “Do you think I deserve a good luck kiss for today?”

“I don’t think you need one,” Jennie says, but her eyes drop to Chaeyoung’s lips anyway.

Chaeyoung mock-pouts. “But what if I want one?”

Jennie cups her face in her hands, forgoing words, and Chaeyoung lets her eyes flutter shut as she kisses her.

Jennie tastes like strawberry lip balm and all of Chaeyoung’s teenage dreams coming true.

She tilts her head, deepening the kiss, and sighs when she feels Jennie’s nails scratch the back of her neck. Jennie uses the opportunity to slide her tongue in, and it feels like the temperature in the room ratchets up ten degrees.

Her nails dig into Jennie’s waist, and Jennie gasps into her mouth.

“Chaeng-” 

An aborted sound comes from the other side of the room, and Chaeyoung pulls away in surprise.

Jisoo and Lisa are standing just outside the hallway, staring.

They all look like deer in the headlights, Chaeyoung is sure. She didn’t think her blush could get any deeper.

Jisoo is the one to break the silence: “Don’t stop on our account.” 

There’s a bit of a smirk growing on her face and yeah, Chaeyoung definitely underestimated her blushing abilities.

She looks at Jennie, only to find the other girl is already looking at her, slightly disheveled.

“You heard her,” Jennie says, eyes trained on her lips.

It’s enough of a cue for Chaeyoung to pull her in and kiss her again, all too aware of the eyes on them.

Her stomach clenches when their tongues slide together, and she’s glad to be sitting down, because she’s pretty sure her knees have turned to jelly.

When Chaeyoung pulls away now it’s due to the need for oxygen. She pants a little as she looks at Jennie, who has want painted on her face.

She looks at Lisa and Jisoo, and they’ve come a little closer, and Jisoo’s smirk has been wiped off her face.

“If-” Chaeyoung starts, falters. Measures her words carefully before giving up her hand. “If I didn’t think it would make me late, I’d take you all back to the room with me.”

She hears Jennie gasp, sees the naked surprise in Lisa’s gaze, and- “Too much?”

Jisoo meets her eyes and smiles, and, just like that, the tension in Chaeyoung’s body loosens.

“Only because I didn’t think you’d be such a tease.”

Jennie huffs her agreement. “Honestly, where did sweet, shy Chaeyoung go?”

Chaeyoung grins, pulling her close again, this time just for a hug. “She’s been going a little crazy without being able to see you all,” she admits.

Jennie hugs her a little tighter.

“Do you think just cuddling on the couch will make you late?”

Chaeyoung’s smile widens. “I don’t know, depends on if you’ll be willing to let me go afterwards,” she teases.

Lisa flashes her an impish grin.  “We’d just end up going with you.”

“Can you?” Chaeyoung can’t quite stop the words from leaving her mouth, nor the hopeful note in them.

She feels the mood in the room plummet, and she wants to kick herself.

“No, I know. Sorry,” she tries to backtrack.

Figuring out the logistics for her solo debut had been a bit of a harrowing process. By the time they’d decided on a release date, the other girls all had full schedules already.

Chaeyoung has had a few weeks to come to terms with it. Bringing it up now was just an unlucky slip of tongue.

“Come on,” she says, hoping to clear the saddened look from their faces. “Couch. I want to cuddle until I absolutely have to go.”

Chaeyoung keeps bouncing in place. She feels like her entire body is buzzing with restless energy. In just a little over an hour, her album will be released to the public. She’s got 15 minutes before she has to start the countdown live for her blinks, and she can’t seem to keep still.

Right as she thinks she might start pacing, Chaeyoung feels her phone buzz in her pocket.

Lisa is calling her.

Chaeyoung does a quick look around to check if anyone needs her attention right now, and then brings her phone up to her ear.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Lisa says back. And, oh , Chaeyoung is ridiculous, because just hearing her voice is enough to make her feel all melty inside.

“I just wanted to check on you before you go live,” the Thai continues, and Chaeyoung can picture how she might be rubbing the back of her neck, leant against the wall of whatever studio she’s at for her photoshoot.  “I know you get anxious before releases.”

There are staff buzzing about around her, doing last minute check-ups, and Chaeyoung turns away to hide the giddiness in her smile.

“I mean, I’m okay,” she starts. “I’m nervous, but like, good nervous, you know?” Lisa hums her agreement. “It’s kinda weird doing it alone.”

Chaeyoung lets a beat pass, and then: “I hope they like the song.”

“They’re going to love it, Chaeng,” Lisa says immediately, like it’s obvious. “It’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

Chaeyoung blushes, ducking her head. “Well, you’re sort of obliged to say that, aren’t you? As my…” she trails off, partly because she can’t really say the word girlfriend in front of this many people, and partly because they haven’t really reached that status yet.

“As my member,” she finishes.

She hears Lisa chuckle on the other end. “Well, as your member ,” she says, and the emphasis on the word makes it clear that she caught on to what Chaeyoung actually wanted to say. “I’m obligated to be honest about whether you’re doing a good job. And you are, Chaeyoung-ah.” Her voice is dripping with sincerity.

“They’re going to love the song. You’re going to blow everyone out of the water.”

Chaeyoung breathes in, letting Lisa’s words settle into her skin. “Okay.”

“Feel better now?”

“Yeah,” she smiles. “A lot better. Thanks.”

“Always,” Lisa swears.

Chaeyoung lets herself bask in the promise for a few moments.

“I should probably go now,” she says, despite not wanting to hang up at all. “Thanks for calling.”

“Always,” Lisa repeats. “I’ll see you at home.”

“See you at home.”

This, here, this is what she’s been craving. What she’s been missing.

Her girls.

They’re all spread out on her bed again, just like this morning. But now there’s no schedules to steal them away.

Chaeyoung breathes in deeply, then lets it back out, cherishing the warmth and comfort of sharing a bed with her favorite people.

“How are you feeling?” Jennie asks.

Chaeyoung lolls her head around to look at her. “Like I’m all melted out, but in a good way.”

She feels like she’s in a midsummer afternoon, when it’s too hot to do anything, but it’s okay because you don’t have any responsibilities.

It’s not entirely accurate to this situation, because she still has weeks of promotion to get through, but the post-release haze has set in nicely.

“I’m going to have such an adrenaline crash tomorrow,” she says, laughing a little bit.

It’s alright though. The most anxiety-inducing part is over.

“Blinks are going crazy right now,” Lisa says, leaving her phone on the nightstand to throw her limbs across Jennie’s body, spooning her.

Said girl tries to spin around in her grasp. “You were on twitter?” Her tone carries accusation.

“Just for a little bit!” Lisa defends. “And I have like, so much stuff muted.”

“Still, it’s-”

Chaeyoung watches them bicker with her head in Jisoo’s lap, the older girl playing a mobile game one-handed while she runs her fingers through her hair, and feels an overwhelming sense of contentment.

“I love you,” she says, almost without thought.

The conversation stops.

Chaeyoung keeps the content expression on her face, even as her heart speeds up in her chest.

Jennie has turned her head back to face her, cheeks flushing, and she cuddles back further into Lisa’s hold. Lisa, for her part, is beaming at Chaeyoung, despite the color rising in her own face.

“I love you too,” their maknae says, easy as breathing. And just like many things in their relationship, it’s far from the first time, but that doesn’t stop it from feeling new and different and rare..

Jisoo nudges Chaeyoung’s head so she’s looking up at her, and the look on her face makes Chaeyoung’s breath catch.

“I love you.” Jisoo says the word slowly, like she’s savoring the freedom to say it. Then she blushes, averts her eyes from all of them for a moment to say the next ones: 

“I can’t think of a world where I don’t love all of you.”

Chaeyoung feels the weight of the moment in her chest, in her bones. Jisoo isn’t one to use her words, usually. She prefers to show her feelings with actions.

This, here, is a level of vulnerability they are, more than privileged, trusted to witness.

Slowly, Chaeyoung gets up from Jisoo’s lap so that she is level with her. She gently cups a reddened cheek, and waits for Jisoo to meet her gaze before bringing their lips together.

It’s sweet, chaste; acknowledgement of trust and devotion, and reciprocation.

They pull away, but not before Chaeyoung whispers another ‘I love you’ on Jisoo’s lips.

She looks at the other side of the bed, where Lisa and Jennie are watching them with the softest expressions imaginable. Chaeyoung feels the warmth grow in her chest, making her floaty.

“I’m really, really happy right now,” she says.

“Good,” Jennie answers, “We want you to be happy always.” She lifts her hands, gesturing for Chaeyoung to lie down, and the blonde does, bringing Jisoo with her.

They cuddle close in the center of the bed, arms and legs intertwined in a pile of warmth. 

Jennie nuzzles her face into the crook of Chaeyoung’s neck, while Lisa’s arm is thrown over both of them and Jisoo’s warmth is at Chaeyoung’s back.

“And for the record, I love you too.”

Chapter Text

Jisoo paces back and forth in her room, phone pressed against her ear. She feels only slightly anxious as she waits for the line to pick up.

“Jisoo-yah, hi!”

Jisoo feels her lips curl into a smile. “Hi.”

“It’s been a while since we last talked.”

“I know, sorry Nayeon-ah. We should meet up soon.”

She hears Nayeon hum her agreement. “We definitely should. Did you call me to catch up?”

“Well, actually…” Jisoo fidgets in place, eyes finding their way to the photo on her nightstand. It’s one of her and the girls during their trip to Thailand; the four of them posing together with blinding smiles. As far as Jisoo knows, this particular shot has never made it on the internet, and it has a special place in her heart.

“Are you too busy right now?”

Nayeon seems surprised by the question. “No, did something happen?” Her voice has a tinge of concern.

“Nothing bad, I was just… I wanted to ask if you know any discrete places to take someone on a date.”

There is a second of silence, and then Jisoo is instinctively dragging her phone away from her ear as her friend screeches.

“YOU’RE DATING SOMEONE?”

Nayeon doesn’t give her time to answer. “Oh my God, who- how did this happen? When did this happen? Is it who I’m thinking of?”

“I don’t know who you’re thinking of,” Jisoo laughs. “And anyway, I couldn’t tell you. We’re- it’s still new. Sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“Nayeon-ah...”

Nayeon’s giggles sound through the phone. “Okay, okay. I won’t ask too much. You need a date spot, right?”

Jisoo breathes a sigh of relief. “Yes.”

“Alright, so I’m assuming they’re also in the industry?” Nayeon waits for her sound of agreement. “Okay, so…”

After she and Nayeon say their goodbyes, Jisoo leans back against her pillows, plans running through her head.

Her friend had given her a few good ideas for places where the likelihood of getting noticed was relatively low, but there is another part to getting this to work - ditching managers.

Jisoo doesn’t get much time to think of how they’ll deal with that before there is a knock on her door. A few moments later, Lisa’s head peeks through, grinning bashfully.

Jisoo blinks in surprise. “You’re back already?” There is a note of delight in her tone that she doesn’t bother to hide.

Lisa’s grin widens as she steps into the room. “I just had rehearsal today.” She climbs into Jisoo’s bed, the older girl scooching over to make room. “I got home a little bit ago, but I heard you on the phone, so I didn’t wanna interrupt.”

For a moment, Jisoo worries that she’d overheard her. She scans Lisa’s face for any sign of it, until the younger starts to squirm.

“What?” Lisa asks.

“Nothing,” Jisoo dismisses, privately relieved.

Lisa huffs, cuddling into her side. “Who were you talking to anyway?”

“Just Nayeon.”

“Nayeon-unnie? It’s been a while since you guys met.”

“We’ve both been busy,” Jisoo says. She tucks her face into the crook of Lisa’s neck, breathing in her scent.

“They’re having a comeback soon, right?”

Jisoo hums an agreement. She’s not 100% sure, but probably.

“And you’re not in a talking mood.” Lisa’s voice turns teasing.

Jisoo scoffs into her neck. “Have you eaten?” she murmurs.

“Not yet.”

The Korean raises her head, frowning. “You should go eat then.”

“Later,” Lisa says, “this is nice.” She tries to get Jisoo to come back down.

The older girl doesn’t budge.

“You’re already sleeping at crazy hours because of the program.” Her frown deepens at her own words. “You need to keep your strength up.”

Lisa sighs long-sufferingly. “Unnie…” When Jisoo’s expression doesn’t change, her next sigh is of resignation. Then, slowly, a smile forms on her face.

“You’re cute when you’re worried about me.”

Jisoo feels her heart flutter, and she wills the blush down from her cheeks. She huffs. “I know what you’re doing. And it’s not gonna work.”

Lisa’s smile widens. “Really?” She inches closer until her face is mere inches away from Jisoo’s. Her beautiful, perfect face.

Involuntarily, Jisoo’s eyes drop to her lips.

She doesn't need to look up to know the smug expression on the other girl’s face.

‘Damn you, Lalisa Manobal.’

Somehow, out of some hidden reserve of self-control, Jisoo manages to put some space between them, then she gets off the bed.

Out of the corner of her eye, she barely catches Lisa’s face fall, and has to suppress a smirk.

“Come on, let’s get you some food.”

She hears Lisa groan, and the tell-tale rustling that means she’s getting up. She starts walking to the door, Lisa following behind her.

Just before they reach it, Jisoo turns around, pulls Lisa to her with a hand on her neck, and kisses her.

Lisa startles a moment before kissing back, hands landing low on her waist.

Jisoo feels heat grow in her belly. She tilts her head, deepening the kiss, and is rewarded when Lisa moans, pulling her closer.

Beyond that, the youngest seems content to let Jisoo lead, and fuck if that isn’t making her head spin.

Eventually, she pulls away, taking in Lisa’s dazed expression.

“Now,” Jisoo murmurs, and her voice sounds rough to her own ears, “I wasn’t kidding about getting you food.”

After Jisoo makes good on her promise to feed Lisa - the younger girl calls her a tease all through the meal - it’s only natural for them to gravitate to the couch.

Jisoo isn’t sure when that turned into them making out like teenagers, but she’s hardly complaining.

She finds herself gasping as Lisa kisses down her neck. “No marks,” she gets out, even as she tilts her head to give Lisa better access. “I have to be on set tomorrow.”

Lisa makes a sound of acknowledgement, hands squeezing where they lay on Jisoo’s waist. She proceeds to try her best to turn Jisoo’s brain into mush for the next several minutes.

Jisoo can’t help the whine that slips out when Lisa sucks at a particularly sensitive spot behind her ear, hips grinding down on Lisa’s lap.

Immediately, her cheeks burn with embarrassment. “Lisa, wait-”

No sooner have the words left her lips when Lisa pulls back, a soft frown on her face, and scans Jisoo’s features. “Too much?”

Jisoo starts shaking her head. Stops.

She feels too hot, thoughts jumbled, mixed up in feelings and wants and fears.

Lisa cups her face in her hands, guiding her to meet her eyes. Her thumb drags slowly down Jisoo’s cheek.

“Sorry,” Jisoo breathes.

Lisa shakes her head. “Don’t apologize. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” And Jisoo wants to protest here, say that want has nothing to do with it, she’s just- “There’s no rush, unnie.”

At those words, Jisoo feels her body relax, tension rushing out of her.

Lisa’s lips tick up when she notices, eyes growing impossibly softer.

“You always try to be so put together,” she murmurs, almost to herself.

Still, Jisoo answers: “I’m the oldest. It’s my job.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Lisa says, gentle, in this quiet that they’ve built. “Not all the time. You can… you’re allowed to unravel, with me. With us.”

Jisoo has to look away, Lisa’s honesty too much for her. But when the younger girl tilts her head back up, she’s not forcing her; she’s asking. And Jisoo goes willingly.

She starts to speak, but the words die in her throat, and she thinks of how she never knows what to say to this girl.

It’s easy enough, when Lisa is smug and cocky and teasing her, to tease her right back. To watch her smirks turn to blushing stutters.

The problem is when she looks at Jisoo like this, soft and open, with love written plainly on her face.

She never knows what to do with herself in these moments.

“You’ve always loved us so freely,” she finds herself saying.

If Lisa is surprised by the sudden subject change, she doesn’t show it. Instead, her smile slackens.

“Not as freely as I wanted to.”

She drops her hands from Jisoo’s face, and Jisoo grabs one before it can fall to their laps. She shakes her head, looking at their hands while she interlaces their fingers.

“It was always when you forgot to watch yourself.”

She meets Lisa’s eyes. “You’d look at me just like this, and I’d wonder what I could possibly do to deserve that.” She laughs a little, at herself. “And before you say anything, I know it doesn’t work like that.”

The frown building on Lisa’s face smoothens, and she’s back to looking at Jisoo with so much love it could drown her.

Jisoo tucks herself into the crook of Lisa’s neck, breathing her in, and feels her arms wrap around her.

She’s found that she likes this, in the past couple of weeks. Likes being safe and warm in a cocoon of Lisa’s love. It leaves her comfortable enough to breathe out truth, even just to herself.

'I will, you know? Unravel for you. That’s the scary part.'