Archive of Our Own ^beta

Ochi doesn’t want anything from Touya Akira.

No, that’s not true. He doesn’t want to want anything from Touya Akira, but he does. He doesn’t want romance. He doesn’t want flirtations or kissing or any of those frankly disgusting things he sees in teen movies. And he's relatively certain he doesn't want sex from Touya—he shudders with revulsion at the thought.

But he wants something. He wants those eyes focused on him. He wants to be respected. He knows he’s one of the top insei. He knows he’s good enough to make it through the pro exam.

And yet, though Touya teaches him almost daily, he’s never really looking at Ochi. Ochi can see it. Touya’s looking through him, into the future, to the day where Ochi and Shindou will finally face each other. When Touya looks like that, there’s a fire in his eyes that Ochi’s never seen before. He’s only ever heard Touya described as nice and polite, but when they talk about Shindou, Touya abandons all decorum, paces the room, shouts himself hoarse.

He knows he’s better than Shindou, so why won’t Touya look at him like that? 

So what if Shindou had a fluke game against a Korean insei? So what if Touya insists Shindou beat him masterfully two years ago? Ochi’s played games like that too, if only Touya ever cared to look them up. He’s played Shindou countless times in their study sessions, and he knows exactly where the two of them stand. Ochi knows exactly how good he is.

He knows he’s better than Shindou, so why won’t Touya see him as a rival?

Touya’s appearance doesn’t hurt, either. He's beautiful in an aesthetic way: his graceful movements like the strokes of a master calligrapher, his composed manner like a delicately poised crane. He's like a painting come to life, a beautiful bird, and yet he's a ferocious lion underneath. The contrast is fascinating. Touya is one of the Go world’s most precious specimens. Is it any surprise that Ochi wants to capture the attention of such a thing for himself?

Look at me, he commands as Touya tutors him endlessly on Shindou's playstyle. Who do you think you're playing right now? Look at me!

He's going to beat Shindou. He's going to destroy Shindou, and then Touya will finally turn that fire-and-ice gaze on him, and play him, and tell everyone that Ochi Kousuke is a force to be reckoned with.

Just you wait, Touya Akira, he thinks bitterly as he lies in bed that night. You’ll see who’s really worthy of being your rival.