Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

rolling_thunder has added you to a group chat

rolling_thunder sent a message to: karasuno's finest

karasuno's finest

dadchi: god,,, what now? 

noyanoya: dadchi, please do not slander the group chat.

noyanoya: i put my blood, sweat and tears into making this baby

mamashita: don't be dramatic, noya, all you had to do was press a few buttons

noyanoya: betrayal. 

suga-san: abso-fucking-lutely not 

suga_n_spice has left the group chat

noyanoya: >:(((((

rolling_thunder added suga_n_spice to the group chat

rolling_thunder changed suga-san to salty-san

salty-san: noya if you guys bully me on here i will leave

salty-san: not just the group chat but also leave life

asaheehee: suga-san noooo :(

asaheehee: also who decided our names

dadchi: this has tanaka and nishinoya written all over it

tangerine: hey!! me and 'dashi helped out too!!! don't forget me and 'dashi!!!!!

yamagucci: i don't mind 

yamagucci: please forget me <3

tangerine: yamaguchi no!

yamagucci: yamaguchi yes!

dadchi: yamaguchi no. 

yamagucci: yamaguchi maybe.

stingyshima: yamaguchi no

yamagucci: yamaguchi no

stingyshima: also wtf is my name?

tangerine: i think it suits u perfectly ^w^

stingyshima: ok tangerine 

tangerine: do u want to fight?!?!?!!?

milk lord: lord help me

tangerine: whats wrong bakageyama??????? are you okay??????

milk lord: i'm fine dumbass

milk lord: butthanksforaskingiguess

salty-san: DID MY PRECIOUS KAGS JUST SAY THANK YOU TO MY PRECIOUS SHOUYOU

milk lord: suga-san pls,,, don't 

mamashita: it smells fruity as FUCK in here

mamashita: who let the gays out? 

noyanoya: ennoshita you are literally gay. you are the only canonly gay person here.

noyanoya: everyone else is pan, bi, lesbian or unlabelled.

stingyshima: ?????

stingyshima: ?????

noyanoya: fuck, sorry! tsukki is also gay so i guess u have another gay but still

kiyoko simp: ayo wait... no one here is straight

kiyoko simp: yeah i would complain about my name but,,, no lies detected 

yoko: i hate it here 

bi panic: omg!!! kiyoko-san!!! hi!!! 

stingyshima: simp.

noyanoya: simp.

mamashita: simp.

milk lord: simp? (what is simp help)

tangerine: simp. (sorry yachi!)

yamagucci: simp. (#sorrynotsorry)

kiyoko simp: simp!

bi panic: LMAOO true.

yoko: you're one to talk @kiyoko simp

noyanoya: NOT TANAKA GETTING CALLED OUT BY KIYOKO BYE

noyanoya: I'M LEVITATING 

noyanoya: KIYOKO YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY PLS MARRY ME /p

yoko: *peace sign* 

yoko: ok thats enough social interaction today

yoko: unless your name is yachi

mamashita: lol tanaka bro i dont think she wants u :D

kiyoko simp: she is literally a lesbian

kiyoko simp: i already knew i had no chance

kiyoko simp: doesn't mean i can't appreciate how beautiful she is

noyanoya: ennoshita u can't bully tanaka properly today and it's depressing 

kiyoko simp: hey! leave ennoshita alone 

rolling_thunder changed kiyoko simp to ennoshita simp

ennoshita simp: leave 

ennoshita simp: preferably out the window 

noyanoya: :O RUDE 

ennoshita simp: ayo yano what would be REALLY funny? 

noyanoya: if we added ukai to this 

ennoshita simp: ohmygod do it

noyanoya: on it bestie 

rolling_thunder added ukaii to the group

rolling_thunder changed ukaii to takeda simp

takeda simp: wtf is this 

takeda simp: oh hell no

takeda simp: i'm busy with takeda leave me alone 

takeda simp: WHAT IS MY NAME IM NOT EVEN A- wait nvm lol yeah i am

takeda simp: bye losers piss off and train hard

takeda simp left the group chat

yamagucci: points were made 

Chapter Text

rolling_thunder changed the group name to "karasuno's gayest"

noyanoya: bc lets be real,, y'all are fruity as fuck

dadchi: true

salty-san: agreed!!

ennoshita simp: so true bestie, so true

milk lord: wtf does fruity mean? 

milk lord: are you guys making fun of me for liking-

milk lord: nvm

salty-san: OOOOOOOOH KAGS HAS A CRUSH

milk lord: suga-san pls stop

yamagucci: y'all are pathetic lol

stingyshima: you're only saying that because you know who it is

milk lord: YAMA DID YOU TELL TSUKKI?????????

yamagucci: no, ew

stingyshima: and i took that personally

stingyshima: the only reason i know he knows is because he yelled "HAHA DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS I KNOW WHO IT IS" 

mamashita: ohhh so thats why he was yelling

mamashita: go off yamayama

yamagucci: PLS refrain from calling me that

mamashita: .....why?

yamagucci: its my ship name w kageyama 

yamagucci: and im hopelessly pining for someone else who's not a milk lord 

stingyshima: you havent told me about a crush?

yamagucci: hahahaahhahahaha about that

stingyshima: yamaguchi?

stingyshima: what the fuck is going on? 

stingyshima: who do you like?

stingyshima: are you gonna start walking home with them instead?

stingyshima: are you gonna do movie marathons with them isntead?

stingyshima: YAMAGUCHI ANSWER ME

noyanoya: daddy chill

mamashita: bonk go to horny jail noya 

noyanoya: im sorry i had to 

yamagucci: help

yamagucci: GUYS

yamagucci: ok yall r useless bye

[private messages]

pinch_server to blueberry_milk

yamaguchi: yama, i need help

kageyama: ok yama what do u need help with

yamaguchi: tsukki wont leave me alone

yamaguchi: he wants to know who i like 

kageyama: tell him u like yachi 

yamaguchi: NO 

yamaguchi: i dont wanna ruin a chance with tsukki if i do have one

kageyama: tell him u like me 

yamaguchi: yama no

kageyama: yama yes

yamaguchi: i hate you you're literally no help

[5 mins later]

yamaguchi: i panicked

kageyama: what did u do now dumbass

yamaguchi: i took ur stupid advice and told him i liked yachi

yamaguchi: he stormed off 

yamaguchi: i didnt think he would have a problem w it 

yamaguchi: i thought he liked yachi ://

yamaguchi: OH MY GOD 

yamaguchi: WHAT IF HE LIKES YACHI LIKE THAT

yamaguchi: fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

kageyama: yama, chill

kageyama: just make tsukki jealous~

kageyama: omg 

kageyama: if i help u make tsukki jealous 

kageyama: will u help me make hinata jealous

yamaguchi: i dont think hinata gets jealous

yamaguchi: but sure 

kageyama: yama i love you

yamaguchi: i love you too yama 

karasuno's gayest

tangerine: bakageyama has a crush?!?!?!?! i wonder who it is ^w^

milk lord: stop

tangerine: but i want to tease you about it :( 

dadchi: so is everyone on this gc hopelessly pining over someone then

noyanoya: no (yes) 

salty-san: yes (yes)

asaheehee: ...yes

mamashita: mayhaps

ennoshita simp: potentially 

bi panic: cannot confirm nor deny (im confirming, this is me confirming, yes im a simp oh god)

yoko: yes 

noyanoya: KIYOKO IS PINING????????????????????????????????????

ennoshita simp: who would reject kiyoko?

mamashita: no one

mamashita: not even me 

mamashita: and i'm gay

dadchi: ....

salty-san: daichi don't u fuckin' dare 

dadchi: hi gay, i'm dad!

suga_n_spice kicked _diechi_ out of the group

stingyshima: deserved.

ace_ahi added _diechi_ to the group

salty-san: BETRAYAL

asaheehee: i'm sorry suga-san :( <3

salty-san: ...fine <3

dadchi: stop flirting on main

salty-san: are you j e a l o u s 

dadchi: lol no

asaheehee: hey remember when tanaka killed daichi

salty-san: nice kill tanaka! 

noyanoya: LMAOOO AND WJE CALLED HIM DEADCHI FOR A WEEK AGDJSB

salty-san: one sex

salty-san: *SEC 

salty-san: BETRAYAL 

suga_n_spice changed 'dadchi' to 'deadchi'

deadchi: guys tanaka didnt kill me stfu

salty-san: sometimes i still hear his voice :(((

deadchi: haha very funny suga

noyanoya: rip deadchi, ur thighs will be missed

salty-san: TRUE!!!

salty-san: daichi has the nicest thighs

salty-san: i was talking about them with kuroo the other day LMAO

salty-san: not to be horny on main or anything but 

salty-san: sawamura daichi pls crush me with ur thighs

deadchi: i

salty-san: WAIT LMAO FUCJK

salty-san: no homo tho bro

deadchi: stfu i'm coming to ur house rn

noyanoya: well,,, they're gonna be offline for a while

noyanoya: we all know they've been hooking up for a year 

mamashita: yep bc i,,, i,,,,,,,,,,, i,,,,

ennoshita simp: omg u what

ennoshita simp: is there tea? pls tell me everything 

mamashita: i walked in on suga and daichi doing ~interesting~ things 2 months ago

noyanoya: like the kinda ~interesting~ things that u and tanaka do or?

mamashita: w h a t

noyanoya: yeah lol i saw yall making out when i realised i left my hoodie in tanaka's room last week 

mamashita: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

mamashita: next question <3

stingyshima: seeing as u guys keep walking in on people, do you know who gave yamaguchi those hickeys?

stingyshima: he wont tell me so

milk lord: lol 

stingyshima: what's funny, king?

tangerine: hey !!!! leave bakageyama alone tsukki !!!! only i get to make fun of him !!!!!

milk lord: omg he does care /s

tangerine: tho tbf, kageyama has hickeys too 

tangerine: are u dating sum1 bakageyama? 

tangerine: bakageyama?

tangerine: kageyama?

tangerine: kags???????

tangerine: DUMBASS ANSWER ME !!!!!! 

[private messages]

pinch_server to blueberry_milk

kageyama: yama, operation green is working 

yamaguchi: wow we're so hot omg 

kageyama: u owe me so much milk after this

yamaguchi: ok and u owe me floppy french fries?

yamaguchi: it's the power of yamayama 

yamaguchi: we will seduce these dumbasses

yamaguchi: seduce makes us sound like fucking femme fatale's or smth

kageyama: yama pls refrain from using smart language with me

kageyama: wtf is a femme fatale 

yamaguchi: it's like a character construct used in books 

yamaguchi: of a strong independent woman who seduces men and leads them into traps lol

kageyama: hot 

kageyama: ig we're femme fatale's then 

Chapter Text

mamashita: okay so,,, ignoring the seggsual tension in the room

mamashita: bc there are things that r more important rn

mamashita: like how hot i am

mamashita: i mean come on!!! have you seen me?

stingyshima: unfortunately 

mamashita: :O

mamashita: thats the last straw

mamashita has changed 'stingyshima' to 'saltyshima'

mamashita: fuck you tsukishima kei

saltyshima: do it yourself you coward

mamashita: never

mamashita: i'm pining for a baldie 

ennoshita simp: i am not bald!1!!!!!1!!

ennoshita simp: and ur not pining if we are literally dating

mamashita: fuck off

mamashita: just let me be dramatic

mamashita: why the fuckity fuck fuck fuck is everyone killing my vibes today

salty-san: lol hi i heard killing and vibes

salty-san: ffs i thought we were gonna vibe while committing m*rder

salty-san: yall are so boring

ennoshita simp: murder is illegal

salty-san: and?

ennoshita simp: i-

thighchi: nothing surprises me anymore

thighchi: who changed my name

salty-san: twas i

yamagucci: oh true, daichi's thighs are sexy as hell

saltyshima: tch

yamagucci: did u just fucking 'tch' over text

yamagucci: lame 

saltyshima: what the fuck yamaguchi

saltyshima: ok whatever

saltyshima: walk home alone today

yamagucci: i'm going to kageyama's house

milk lord: i literally can't wait.

yamagucci: u don't sound excited 

milk lord: how the fuck do you sound excited over text?

yamagucci: uhhhhhhh idk 

yamagucci: caps lock ig 

milk lord: I LITERALLY CAN'T WAIT.

yamagucci: better

milk lord: thank u yama <3

yamagucci: ur welcome yama <3

sunshine: kags i thought we were hanging out today :/

salty-san: whomst the fuc

salty-san: made my PRECIOUS SHOYO use the :/ emoji

salty-san: KAGE-FUCKING-YAMA EVEN IF YOU ARE ALSO MY PRECIOUS TOBIO,,,, HOW DARE YOU MAKE HINATA SAD 

sunshine: it's okay senpai 

salty-san: FUCKKKKKKK HE'S SO SAD I CAN'T HANDLE THIS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

noyanoya: calm

noyanoya: nvm 

noyanoya: KAGEYAMA WOT WERE U THINKING U DUMBASS

noyanoya: HOW DARE YOU BAIL ON HINATA

noyanoya: SHAME ON YOU

milk lord: i can hang out with whoever i want

milk lord: no offence but it's not up to you. 

saltyshima: oop the king is back

milk lord: fuck off

asaheehee: guys pls stop :((((

asaheehee: conflict is scary

yoko: you're all dumb <3

bi panic: TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yamagucci: yachi why do you only appear when kiyoko sends a message

bi panic: bc i'm a simp? duh?

yamagucci: points were made.

bi panic: oh yeah are you and kags still down for the double date on wednesday?

yamagucci: yepp <3

bi panic: yayayayayay i cant wait <3

yoko: i'm also looking forward to it! <3

milk lord: me too! <3

saltyshima: w h a t 

salty-san: have fun you guys!! 

thighchi: don't get into any trouble

asaheehee: pls stay safe also 

noyanoya: cause trouble! 

ennoshita simp: commit arson!

mamashita: be gay, do crime <3

sunshine: i saw gay

sunshine: oh lol

sunshine: wait

saltyshima: hinata it's okay

mamashita: le gasp,,, was saltyshima just n-nice to hinata?????

saltyshima: fuck off

sunshine: kags is... going on a date? with 'dashi?

sunshine: ok have fun

salty-san: i just got a sharp pain in my chest is hinata okay?

salty-san: OH NO MY BABY

salty-san: SUNSHINE GIMME 2 MINS THEN U CAN PHONE CALL ME OKAY? OKAY

mamashita: vibes? killed

salty-san: life? ruined

ennoshita simp: people? dumb

noyanoya: hotel? trivago

saltyshima: i hate you all 

Chapter Text

asaheehee: i don't like the new atmosphere that we have created in this group chat

asaheehee: can u guys pls go back to normal so i can laugh at your messages but not reply because i'm terrified of social interaction?

asaheehee: thanks <3

noyanoya: ASAHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

noyanoya: THAT WAS SO CUUUUUUUUTE

asaheehee: oh

asaheehee: uh

asaheehee: thank u noya :3

noyanoya: OHMYGODDDDDDDDDDD

noyanoya: THE EMOTICONNNNNNNN

noyanoya: marry me!!!! pls!!!

thighchi: ok who made asahi blush like that

noyanoya: OMG HE'S BLUSHINGGGGGGG??

noyanoya: I NEED TO SEE THIS

mamashita: ugh god i could smell the simp from a mile away

noyanoya: brb cancelling my friendship with ennoshit(a)

mamashita: oi

ennoshita simp: yum gay

mamashita: ??????????????????????

ennoshita simp: I WAS USING SPEECH TO TEXT AND I SAID 'i am gay' AND 

ennoshita simp: HOW AND WHY

ennoshita simp: GOD HATES ME 

ennoshita simp: "yum gay" 

mamashita: eat the gays ig?

noyanoya: thinking abt confessing my unrequited love today

mamashita: omg not the unrequited :(

asaheehee: oh noya! you like someone?

noyanoya: yes 

asaheehee: oh! uh! good! hope it uh goes well!

salty-san: god you're all dumb

mamashita: HEY????

thighchi: i'm not dumb koushi

salty-san: shit that was hot

salty-san: brb

thighchi: all i did was text your name?

mamashita: man, suga is down bad

noyanoya: true!

ennoshita simp: he just screamed into his pillow and yelled "fuck" 

mamashita: oh yeah i forgot u stayed over

mamashita: how was it?

ennoshita simp: it was fun

mamashita: what kind of fun

ennoshita simp: chaotic and dumb fun

mamashita: invite me next time

noyanoya: AND ME

ennoshita simp: okay <3

tangerine: pain

tangerine: all i feel is pain

salty-san: i felt my mum senses tingling and knew hinata wasn't okay

salty-san: oh fuck yeah it's wednesday

tangerine: i'm so stupid

tangerine: i read a sad angsty fic

tangerine: a lot of pain

tangerine: and crying

tangerine: and sad

tangerine: and yeah

salty-san: it's okay bby

tangerine: i never want to experience that again

salty-san: :(((((((

tangerine: however i will be reading more angst fics later so that was a fucking lie 

salty-san: DIHDFSKFBDVJSDK

salty-san: shoyo nooooooo :(

thighchi: we have a problem

salty-san: worse than hinata feeling sad over fics?

thighchi: yes

salty-san: oh fuck

salty-san: is tsukki listening to olivia rodrigo again?

thighchi: yes 

saltyshima: i can tell you guys are talking about me

saltyshima: HEY I FEEL HER PAIN OKAY

saltyshima: don't make fun of me please

thighchi: o fuc

salty-san: o fuc indeed

salty-san: i am going to k i l l kageyama and yamaguchi

salty-san: stupid yama twins

yamagucci: heyyyyyooooooo

salty-san: speak of the devil

milk lord: why are me and yama stupid :( 

tangerine: fuck u thats why

milk lord: shoyo??? what's wrong???????

tangerine: leave me alone

milk lord: ok i'll be over in a minute

tangerine: thank u :(

tangerine: WAIT NO

tangerine: u and yamaguchi

tangerine: no

yamagucci: huh???

tangerine: the double date??

yamagucci: LMAOOOOOOO

tangerine: am i missing something?

yamagucci: i just said it to make tsukki jealous el oh el

yamagucci: i got to his house like... 5? minutes ago and 

yamagucci: he yelled at me, pushed me against the wall, kissed me and then asked if "the king was better at kissing than he was" 

yamagucci: it was hot

yamagucci: and i've never kissed yama sooooo

tangerine: omg

tangerine: bakageyama come over right now i need to make out wth u 

saltyshima: stfu tadashi

saltyshima: anyways.... come back here so i can kiss u again

mamashita: GROSS!!! happy couples ew

ennoshita simp: ???? we are literally dating

mamashita: shut the fuck up

ennoshita simp: :(

mamashita: ohmygod you big baby come here i'll hug u i guess

ennoshita simp: :)

noyanoya: am i the only single person now

asaheehee: no theres me, kiyoko and yachi

yamagucci: yachi and yoko have been dating for the longest out of all of us soooo no thats inaccurate

yoko: i thought it was obvious

bi panic: me too???

asaheehee: MY BAD

asaheehee: SORRY GUYS

bi panic: it's okay!!!! <3

asaheehee: i feel so bad :/

yoko: well we never explicitly said, so it's okay asahi <3

noyanoya: single person struggles

mamashita: can't relate :D

salty-san: ^^^

ennoshita simp: ^^^^

saltyshima: ^^

yamagucci: ^^^^^^^^^^^^

milk lord: ^^

bi panic: ^

tangerine: ^ (sorry)

yoko: ^^

thighchi: ^^^

noyanoya: i hate all of you 

Chapter Text

milk lord: i hate everything

salty-san: MY PRECIOUS KAGS WHATS WRONG TELL ME

yamagucci: kenma is visiting hinata

yamagucci: and hinata = serotonin

milk lord: vouch

salty-san: LOL kags is jealous

milk lord: ...

thighchi: be nice suga 

salty-san: ok daddy

noyanoya: get the fuck out of here suga

salty-san: WHAT DID I SAY ABT THIS GC 

salty-san: IF I GET BULLIED IM LEAVING THE GC AND IM LEAVING LIFE 

mamashita: someone said smth kinky 

mamashita: i can sense it 

ennoshita simp: u worry me sometimes babe

mamashita: yeah but u love me anyways

saltyshima: FUCk 

yamagucci: ?????

saltyshima: i forgot i was meant to meet with kuroo today

yamagucci: shitttttttt 

yamagucci: go get ready

saltyshima: ugh fine

thighchi: kuroo? where?

salty-san: kuroo? where? 

yamagucci: is everyone just gay for kuroo?

thighchi: yeah

salty-san: yeah

yamagucci: welp

yamagucci: alexa how can i become kuroo tetsurou

salty-san: u can't 

thighchi: no one matches his sexiness

salty-san: wht abt me???

thighchi: ur literally the most beautiful person ever

thighchi: i would never use smth like 'sexy' to describe ur beauty bc it doesnt even come close to describing

salty-san: DAICHIIIIIIIIIII

salty-san: MARRY ME

salty-san: IM PROPOSING RN

salty-san: I LOVE U SM 

noyanoya: suga-san, previously in our dms: "im not a simp!" 

salty-san: ok i'm not a simp!

salty-san: but maybe i am haha

noyanoya: guys is 25/27 on a mental health test good

asaheehee: wow i clearly have a thing for himbos 

noyanoya: ????

asaheehee: exit stage right 

thighchi: so i was simping for suga

thighchi: as always

thighchi: and then kuroo called me a simp

thighchi: thinking of unfriending him

noyanoya: DO IT 

mamashita: YALL

mamashita: IM CRYIGB 

mamashita: JUST WITNESSED A OIKAWA AND USHIJIMA INTERACTION

mamashita: USHIJIMA SAID - AND I QUOTE - "you should have come to shiratorizawa" 

mamashita: OIKAWA LOOKED SO PISSED 

mamashita: HIS PISSED OFF FACE IS NOW MY PFP BC IM WHEEXIGN 

mamashita: *wheezing

ennoshita simp: chill babe

mamashita: its boring here

mamashita: name the 3 people u simp for most 

mamashita: irls uve met 

mamashita: tsukishima first bc im curious

saltyshima: fuck off

mamashita: pls 

saltyshima: no

yamagucci: pls 

saltyshima: ...fine

saltyshima: 1. yamaguchi, 2. tadashi, 3. kuroo

mamashita: ONE AND TWO ARE THE SAME PERSON

saltyshima: and??

mamashita: ...fine

mamashita: yamaguchi?

yamagucci: 1. tsukki, 2. kags, 3. yachi

mamashita: daichi?

thighchi: 1. suga 2. kuroo 3. ikejiri

salty-san: 1. daichi 2. kuroo 3. ....oikawa

bi panic: 1. kiyoko

mamashita: simp!

bi panic: get out

mamashita: okok the whole reason i did this @noyanoya @asaheehee ANSWER

noyanoya: 1. asahi, 2. uhhhhh, 3. UHHHHHHH 

noyanoya: shit i cant think of anyone else

asaheehee: 1. noya, 2. well suga is very pretty but uh idk if i simp and uh kiyoko is simp worthy i guess but 

asaheehee: wait

mamashita: i'm a god 

Chapter Text

noyanoya: in conclusion,,,

noyanoya: i just think that

noyanoya: asahi

noyanoya: thats it

noyanoya: thats the statement

salty-san: true

thighchi: i'm inclined to agree

noyanoya: listen im not a simp

noyanoya: but yeah i am

asaheehee: someoene he;[lep

asaheehee: helshjdp

asaheehee: H E L P

noyanoya: whats wrong asahi???????/

asaheehee: im 

asaheehee: gay panic

asaheehee: noya i am asking u out

asaheehee: respectfully 

ennoshita simp: on a gc? really?

noyanoya: STFU TANAKA

noyanoya: I ACCEPT

noyanoya: ASAHIIIIIIIIII UR SO CUTE

asaheehee: fucksgjdjfsbajsb

mamashita: no. more. couples. 

mamashita: ive had enough

mamashita: im putting my fucking foot down

mamashita: E N O U G H 

thighchi: fair

tangerine: pain

salty-san: NO 

salty-san: WHAT HAPPENED

salty-san: SHOUYOU MY PRECIOUS SHOUYOU

thighchi: r u ok?

tangerine: no one will ever love me :((((((((((((((((((((((

milk lord: legally changing my name to "no one will ever"

milk lord: jokes aside,,,,, boke hinata who the FUCK am i then??

tangerine: i need cuddles

milk lord: omw

salty-san: omg

salty-san: mi hart

noyanoya: ^^ me when asahi

asaheehee: sjsdisjhdjkj

mamashita: no one: 

mamashita: asahi: *insert ugly keyboard smash*

ennoshita simp: vouch

noyanoya: dont bully my boyfriend

asaheehee: shsidkjhvghjksjhbghsdkjfvghjbvcghjbhj

asaheehee: noya i need to hug u RIGHT NOW

asaheehee: respectfully

salty-san: omg 

salty-san: ive never seen asahi use caps before 

salty-san: must be the noya effect

ennoshita simp: vouch

mamashita: no one:

mamashita: tanaka: vouch

ennoshita simp: vouch

mamshita: touche

yamagucci: ALL THAT MATTERS IN LIFE IS ARSON AND FROGS

yamagucci: THAT WILL BE ALL

yamagucci: exit stage right yamaguchi

mamashita: points were made

salty-san: oh to be the main character in a fantasy fil

salty-san: film*

salty-san: why do my typos ruin everything

yamagucci: fantasy fil a 

salty-san: get out

yamagucci: :((((((((((((((

yamagucci: im so bored bc tsukki is w kuroo again

mamashita: i would kill god to be friends with kuroo sexy tetsurou

yamagucci: and he is again tomorrow too :(

saltyshima: speaking of kuroo sexy tetsurou

saltyshima: i am here 

saltyshima: one second brb

mamashita: END ME 

mamashita: FUCKKKKKKK THERES NO WAY

mamashita: TSUKKI IS THAT U PULLIGN A PRANK

mamashita: I WILL BEAT UR ASS AT PRACTICE

saltyshima: kinky

moon_shima added nekomas_sexiest to the group

kuroo: hey so i heard all of u simp for me 

yamagucci: enter kuroo stage right

moon_shima changed kuroo to bed head

bed head: hey!!!! tsukki you ass!!!!

saltyshima: *smirks*

yamagucci: *swoons*

bed head: simp

yamagucci: points were made

bed head: so listen guys

bed head: i know i am the sexiest motherfucker to exist

bed head: but the simping has to stop 

bed head: This is how dangerous parasocial relationships can form. Kuroo doesn't love you. He can't love you. Kuroo doesn't KNOW you. He can appreciate you but he can't fucking love you. /c

yamagucci: NOT THE FUCKIGN COPYPASTA

mamashita: permission to kick kuroo from the group

thighchi: granted

salty-san: nooo he's so sexy ahaha he can't leave 

thighchi: ENNOSHITA FUCKING KICK HIM OUT RN

bed head: rude :(

bed head: thats no way to talk about the guy you used to have a crush on daichi :(

thighchi: fuck off

salty-san: u wot

thighchi: it was physical attraction suga dw

salty-san: i wasnt worrying

salty-san: just find it ironic how we both had a crush on the same person LMAOOO

thighchi: iconic of us tbh

saltyshima: your time is up kuroo

moon_shima removed nekomas_sexiest from the group

yamagucci: exit stage left kuroo

saltyshima: thhats kuroo sexy tetsurou to you

yamagucci: go suck kenmas dick

saltyshima: been there, done that

yamagucci: gross 

saltyshima: as if u and tsukki havent-

yamagucci: excuse you! i'm a child of god

saltyshima: a child of satan is more accurate <3

yamagucci: die

saltyshima: *dies*

saltyshima: satan says hi 

saltyshima: sjuhdgkibjcl 

saltyshima: kuroo is gone now 

mamashita: well that was fucking dramatic

milk lord: tsukishima, hinata wants you to tell kuroo to tell kenma that he can't wait to see him

saltyshima: why cant he text kenma???????

milk lord: bc he's hinata idk

salty-san: do it tsukishima or i'm disowning you

saltyshima: i hate it here

salty-san: disowned

saltyshima: good

salty-san: u suck

saltyshima: ok

salty-san: WOULD IT KILL YOU TO BE MORE INTERACTIVE?????????????????????????

mamashita: why did we make this gc 

Chapter Text

saltyshima: i hate kids

saltyshima: kids suck

salty-san: *le gasp*

salty-san: saltyshima is starting a convo on the gc?

salty-san: someone call the world record people

saltyshima: fuck off

mamashita: why the sudden hatred of kids?

mamashita: tbf it's not out of character,,,

mamashita: but i wanna know where it's come from

saltyshima: i'm with bokuto, akaashi and kuroo

saltyshima: and bokuto brought his younger sister 

salty-san: OMG A MINI BOKUTO

yamagucci: STAN MINI BOKUTO

yamagucci: MINI BOKUTO SUPREMACY <3

saltyshima: she is a mini DEMON

saltyshima: she keeps HUGGING ME 

yamagucci: idk i might be wrong but i'm prettyyyyy sure that hugs are a sign of affection

yamagucci: wait tsukki are you in dad mode

yamagucci: dilf tsukki!!!!!!!!

ennoshita simp: god i cant deal with this

ennoshita simp: yall r too obsessed w ur partners 

mamashita: babe, your contact name is LITERALLY ennoshita simp

ennoshita simp: welp

ennoshita simp: i'm the exception

mamashita: i'm really liking the levels of fruity that we have created today

yamagucci: well would you look at that

yamagucci: it's time to cry

tangerine: what's wrong 'dashi???? :(

yamagucci: i really miss tsukki :( 

tangerine: why don't u come out w me kags and yachi

yamagucci: okay!!!!

yamagucci: THANK YOU GUYS <3 <3 <3

bi panic: 'dashi is coming too??? YAYAYAYYAYAY the four seasons is BACK IN BUSINESS

salty-san: four seasons?

bi panic: me kags hinata and 'dashi 

bi panic: kags is winter, hinata is summer, 'dashi is autumn/fall and i'm spring

bi panic: pretty cute, right?

thighchi: i'm so proud of you guys omg 

thighchi: proud dad moment 

salty-san: if ur a dad then ur a dilf

mamashita: this is the second mention of dilfs today

yamagucci: speaking of dilfs

yama_gucci added ukaii to the group

ukaii: not this bullshit again

ukaii: takeda says hi

ukaii: also takeda is the dilf not me 

ukaii: adios 

ukaii left the group

yamagucci: once again, points were made 

noyanoya: NOOOOOOOOOOO

noyanoya: i missed so much conversation

noyanoya: kiyoko and asahi is this how u feel when ur lurking and not replying?

noyanoya: do u feel physically pained?

yoko: no

yoko: i do feel physically pained when i read the stuff you guys talk about though

noyanoya: mean :(

asaheehee: i just get nervous to talk

asaheehee: like what if i say something and no one thinks its cool or funny or interesting

asaheehee: it's scary

noyanoya: ASAHIIIIIIIIIII

noyanoya: UR SO CUTE

noyanoya: EVERYTHING U SAY IS COOL AND IMPORTANT AND FUNNY AND INTERESTING I PROMISE

asaheehee: omg stop ur too cute

noyanoya: no YOU'RE too cute

asaheehee: no u

noyanoya: NO YOU

mamashita: enough

mamashita: too much fluff

mamashita: i miss tanaka

salty-san: no one:

salty-san: absolutely no one:

salty-san: not a single soul:

salty-san: my god complex: SURPRISEEE SHAWTYYYY

mamashita: excuse you,,, i was busy missing tanaka

salty-san: i'm literally an icon? fuck off?

mamashita: not as much of an icon as me 

salty-san: u wanna fight on that?

mamashita: okay square tf up bitch

yamagucci: does your heart ever just go <arson3

thighchi: four seasons do not let yamaguchi convince you into committing arson

yamagucci: you're no fun :(

milk lord: okay okay guys!!

milk lord: i have a simple solution

milk lord: lets commit murder instead

yamagucci: okay where's miya atsumu's house

tangerine: not the atsumu slander

milk lord: yes the atsumu slander

milk lord: HE CALLED ME A GOODY TWO SHOES

tangerine: gah bakageyama he was just tryna get in ur head chill

saltyshima: babies suck

saltyshima: they're useless

saltyshima: and whiny

saltyshima: and pathetic

yamagucci: (he expresses distate for something when he actually finds it endearing)

yamagucci: (the baby slander translates to "i just saw a cute baby and idk how to express that i found it cute")

thighchi: awwwwww tsukishima that's fine! just say "i just saw a rlly cute baby omg"

yamagucci: OR u could say "yamaguchi i'm ready to become a dilf with you" 

yamagucci: and we could go to the adoption centre 

saltyshima: OR you could all fuck off

salty-san: why did you message the gc in the first place then?

saltyshima: no comment 

noyanoya: i've started posting shitty facebook memes

noyanoya: it's a downward spiral and an accurate representation of my lack of mental sanity

ennoshita simp: understandable have a nice day

salty-san: i am looking for the askers

salty-san: omg there aren't any :(

salty-san: how tragic 4 u

noyanoya: asahi i'm being bullied

asaheehee: suga i will spike a ball into your face

asaheehee: leave my boyfriend alone

noyanoya: *simp levels increase*

salty-san: wow so much suga slander today

noyanoya: as there should be

salty-san: daichi i'm being bullied

thighchi: lol good luck

salty-san: my boyfriend is an asshole 

thighchi: ;)

salty-san: 🖕

Chapter Text

noyanoya: @asaheehee you make me un poco loco

mamashita: why do half of our conversations start with noya simping

noyanoya: because it's the way i am

noyanoya: get over it

asaheehee: NOYA u need to stop

asaheehee: i'm blushing so much that im gonna end up with like

asaheehee: permanent sunburn

asaheehee: or something

noyanoya: speaking of blushing

noyanoya: fanfics are fuckin emotional

noyanoya: i was reading one of my fave ship as i should and 

noyanoya: i felt WAYYYYYYY too many emotions

salty-san: yeah fanfics will do that to you

salty-san: pro tip: don't read fanfics while drinking tea bc u WILL spit it out

ennoshita simp: suggestion, and it's just a suggestion

ennoshita simp: stop falling in love with fictional characters?

salty-san: never

noyanoya: absolutely not

salty-san: every time an irl person tries to hit on me i have to say no

mamashita: well yeah u have a bf so?

salty-san: no it's bc of all the fictional characters im in love with actually

thighchi: betrayal

salty-san: god ur so needy

salty-san: i'll make it up to u later

thighchi: yeah u better

tangerine: therapy is needed

yamagucci: mmm so true

milk lord: hey yamaguchi remember when we went to couples therapy together

yamagucci: LMAO that was hilarious

yamagucci: she said we were a perfectly healthy couple 💅

yamagucci: maybe i need to rethink my life choices and date kags

saltyshima: or maybe you need to rethink your life choices and shut the fuck up

yamagucci: possessive tsukki 😳

mamashita: stop being horny on main

yamagucci: never

ennoshita simp: i'm going mental wish me luck 👍

salty-san: nobody asked 😊

ennoshita simp: enno

mamashita: don't FUCKING BULLY my boyfriend or i will end you sugawara koushi

mamashita: only i'm allowed to bully him

ennoshita simp: but u bully me bc u love me, right?

mamashita: ....

ennoshita simp: right?

mamashita: uhhh anyways hows the weather yall

ennoshita simp: ENNO??????????????????///

mamashita: chill, chill, ofc i bully u bc i love u dumbass 

thighchi: all of you are losers <3

thighchi: kuroo just added me to a captains gc 

thighchi: kuroo CARES ABOUT ME 

salty-san: you simp

thighchi: as if ur not too

salty-san: touche

yamagucci: tsukki is on 4 gc's with kuroo

salty-san: LE GASP

salty-san: tsukki is this true?!!?!

saltyshima: yes

salty-san: oh to be tsukki

saltyshima: dont call me that

salty-san: okay saltyshima 

salty-san: why does yams get to call you it?

yamagucci: bc i'm sexier than u

saltyshima: well yes but actually no

yamagucci: as if u didn't pin me up against the wall for being "too cute" the other day

saltyshima: fuck off

yamagucci: make me

saltyshima: your days are numbered

yamagucci: thats hot

mamashita: i smell fruity

salty-san: enno i actually think your gaydar is like x300

salty-san: bc u always know when someones being fruity

mamashita: yeah its like how you always know when smth is wrong with hinata

salty-san: speaking of hinata

tangerine: i'm listening to olivia rodrigo

tangerine: i made bakageyama break up with me so that i could understand her pain on a deeper level

milk lord: dumbass

salty-san: understandable honestly

yamagucci: omg wait 

yamagucci: tsukki break up with me for 34 mins and 46 secs

yamagucci: i need to listen to the whole album while heartbroken

saltyshima: i'll break up with you permanently if you're not careful

yamagucci: empty threat

yamagucci: you're too possessive for that

bi panic: speaking of possessive, who knew that kiyoko was possessive as fuck?

yoko: stop

mamashita: spill the details rn

bi panic: we ran into my ex

bi panic: yoko made out with me in front of him for 2 minutes 

yoko: and what about it

salty-san: as u should honestly

thighchi: kiyoko is an icon: confirmed

yoko: *peace sign*

mamashita: could you be anymore gay?

yoko: look whos talking?

mamashita: touche

Chapter Text

salty-san: i feel like you guys aren't hydrated enough

noyanoya: agreed: HYDRATION CHECK

tangerine: i've downed like 3L of water so i'm good 

milk lord: i'm literally milk lord

asaheehee: :) yep

thighchi: ofc

yamagucci: yes!! tsukki wby?? <3

saltyshima: ....yes i have

mamashita: see i would but,,, i cba to get up and fill up my bottle

salty-san: too bad, go fill it up. u have to listen bc i am god

mamashita: well if thats the case.... then personally i think YOU should fill it up for me

mamashita: yano, seeing as ur god and everything

salty-san: i cannot believe u just used my own words against me 

mamashita: well? r u gonna do it

salty-san: no

mamashita: RUDE

ennoshita simp: i'll fill ur water bottle for you ennoshita <3 

mamashita: thank u tanaka my beloved <3 <3 <3 <3

mamashita: friendship with suga = over 

salty-san: as if u would ever

mamashita: bitch i might 

thighchi: i wouldnt blame u

salty-san: OI

thighchi: <3

salty-san: ur lucky ily smh

thighchi: PLS u'd stay with me just for my thighs

salty-san: .....touche

yamagucci: thighchi 1, suga 0 

salty-san: shut up yamaguchi <3

yamagucci: never

milk lord: i want to genuinely crying

yamagucci: grammar who?

milk lord: not now yama

milk lord: i'm too sad for your wittiness rn

yamagucci: YAMA??????????????????

yamagucci: ARE YOU OKAY?!!?!?!?!?!?

milk lord: hinata beat me at uno

yamagucci: for FUCKS sake yama, you had me WORRIED

milk lord: i mean,,,, good to know you care about me at least?

yamagucci: you are literally my platonic soulmate stfu with the "good to know you care about me at least" 

saltyshima: it has been 3 minutes of july and all the pride month flags for companies are GONE

yamagucci: oh god 

yamagucci: no more pride month

yamagucci: u know what that means...

salty-san: we all no longer exist!!

mamashita: no more gays <3

noyanoya: we have simply ceased to exist ✨

ennoshita simp: GUYS IM DISAPPEARING 

milk lord: i am still here?

yamagucci: every day i question why we are still friends.

milk lord: YOU JUST SAID WE WERE PLATONIC SOULMATES

yamagucci: YEAH AND YOU DONT GET TO CHOOSE UR SOULMATE DO U 

milk lord: fair

milk lord: i feel bad

yamagucci: why?

milk lord: because you got stuck with me

tangerine: kageyama...

yamagucci: kageyama,,,

milk lord: yes?

milk lord: what is it? 

milk lord: ur scaring me

tangerine: STFU

yamagucci: STFU

milk lord: ...why?

tangerine: as your non platonic soulmate, you are the best

yamagucci: and as your platonic soulmate, i didn't "get stuck with you"

milk lord: o-okay

salty-san: you love to see it