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There are 142 staircases in Hogwarts. Or that's the number Bathilda counted when she last updated Hogwarts a History.
It certainly feels that there are at least that many to first years, as they fumble their way through the castle's labyrinthine corridors.
One on the third floor rotates in quite a disturbing fashion.
Another leads nowhere, unless its Friday: upon ascending, the unwitting traveller invariably finds themselves back where the started, a portrait of Escher watching on in amusement.
Some have trick steps to catch weary or forgetful students unawares. Others seem simply to take a liking to certain students.
It's funny how the stairways of Hogwarts work.
Some say it was Rowena Ravenclaw herself who enchanted the staircases. To keep students on their toes. Such complex spellwork must surely be her domain.
Others argue that Godric Gryffindor deserves the credit: what better way to reward bravery than to make the simple act of venturing beyond your common room an adventure into the unknown?
Secretly, Slytherins through the ages have wondered if Salazar may have played a role. What better way to confuse intruders than shifting staircases and an everchanging floor plan, after all?
And Helga? Well, she's rarely considered.
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
It's only really first years that find themselves adrift in the opening weeks of term.
Maybe the charms classroom is on the third floor this year, but that rickety staircase by Gwynneth's favourite window nook will still get you there. Even though it starts on the sixth floor.
Magic is about intent.
Hogwarts has spent millennia as a school for magic. Is it any wonder that changed her?
Sometimes, the staircases don't take you where you want to go.
But invariably, they lead you where you need to be.
Hogwarts looks after her children.