Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

chads only chat (8:34 PM)

windy man, take me by the hand~: i am very bored!!!

windy man, take me by the hand~: entertain me!!

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: god isn’t real. nobody can save us. we’re all alone in this universe and we will never know if there is anyone out there because we’ll all be dead by then.

windy man, take me by the hand~: …what the fuck

windy man, take me by the hand~: THAT DIDNT ENTERTAIN ME THAT DEPRESSED ME

light em up up up: caeda??? u okay???

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: haha yeah just having. a bit of an existential crisis :)

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: no need to worry

windy man, take me by the hand~: might you tell what exactly caused ur existential crisis

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: haha no :)

windy man, take me by the hand: hmmm yeah no that’s about what i expected

light em up up up: if there’s anything wrong feel free to tell me caeda!!!!

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: oh ofc i will !!!!

windy man, take me by the hand~: YEAH SO ANYWAY!!!

windy man, take me by the hand~: i’m still bored.

horsegurl uwu has gone online!

horsergurl uwu: sorry to interrupt but uhhhh what the fuck are your names

windy man, take me by the hand~: bro we just be vibing don’t be mean

light em up up up: i could ask you that too cain what the fuck

horsegurl uwu: ,

horsegurl uwu: who changed my name to this

pantherchaser2001 has gone online!

pantherchaser2001: BDOQIBDIQNHEPBEHE

horsegurl uwu: ABEL

pantherchaser2001: nah fam it wasn’t me

pantherchaser2001: trust me I WISH I could come up with that

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: hmmm what a mystery!!!!

horsegurl uwu: IT WAS YOU WASNT IT CAEDA

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: :)

pantherchaser2001: I literally love you Caeda

pantherchaser2001: (platonically, bc we both be very gay)

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: thank u for appreciating me

horsegurl uwu: can someone please change my name

light em up up up: ask marth he’s got admin priv

horsegurl uwu: @marth get up

horsegurl uwu: @marth

horsegurl uwu: @marth

horsegurl uwu: @marth

horsegurl uwu: @marth

horsegurl uwu: @marth

horsegurl uwu: @marth

horsegurl uwu: @marth

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: OH MY NAGA SHUT THE HELL UP

horsegurl uwu: its the only way to get his attention, CAEDA

horsegurl uwu: MAYBE U SHOULDNT HAVE CHANGED MY NAME

horsegurl uwu: @marth

shouto todoroki has gone online!

shouto todoroki: what do you want, cain.

shouto todoroki: …ah.

light em up up up: SHOUTO TODOROKI SJKSHJKHAJKSHAJKS

windy man, take me by the hand~: dhsjkdhsjkdhjskdsk shouto todoroki that’s him

shouto todoroki: you know what? i’m perfectly fine with this. it could be much, much worse, knowing caeda.

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: thanks bro :)

horsegurl uwu: SPEAKING OF CAEDA’S NAMES

horsegurl uwu: can you PLEASE change mine

shouto todoroki: hmm. no.

horsegurl uwu: WTF WHY NOT

shouto todoroki: it’s very amusing, that’s why.

horsegurl uwu: YOU KNOW WHAT???

horsegurl uwu: FUCK YOU

shouto todoroki: :)

light em up up up: that’s surprisingly passive aggressive

pantherchaser2001: as much as I LOVE watching Cain get bullied,

pantherchaser2001: if Marth has admin privileges then how did Caeda change our names

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: its a secret ;)

shouto todoroki: it is not. she took my phone when i was not looking.

windy man, take me by the hand~: hey mari not to be rude or anything but uhhhh

windy man, take me by the hand~: can you PLEASE talk like a normal person

shouto todoroki: no.

windy man, take me by the hand~: alright!

light em up up up -> windy man, take me by the hand~ (DM) 1:42 PM

light em up up up: “mari” huh ;)

windy man, take me by the hand~: UP SHUT THE

chads only chat ( 1:44 PM)

pantherchaser2001: anyway what u all up 2

windy man, take me by the hand~: being bored out of my mind

windy man, take me by the hand~: u know, the usual

shouto todoroki: i thought you had an exam coming up soon, merric?

windy man, take me by the hand~: yeah i do but i already know everything on the test so i don’t need 2 study ;))))

light em up up up: weird flex but okay

light em up up up: im w my dad

light em up up up: we r,,, fixing the sink

pantherchaser2001: lmao how’s that going Linde

light em up up up: about as well as ud expect

light em up up up: basically im just handing him the stuff he asks for and praying that he doesn’t need me to do anything else

shouto todoroki: i will pray for you, linde.

light em up up up: that would be appreciated thank u

horsegurl uwu: well rn i am “listening to jagen”

windy man, take me by the hand~: “listening to jagen” Oh No

windy man, take me by the hand~: if he finds out ur ass is dead!

horsegurl uwu: nah fam don’t worry bout it im slick

light em up up up: hmm press x to doubt

pantherchaser2001: x

shouto todoroki: x.

windy man, take me by the hand~: …x

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: FUCKIN X

horsegurl uwu: wow thanks guys

krystopher has gone online!

christal has gone online!

krystopher: hey y’all

krystopher: cain jagen wants me to tell you that he sees u on ur phone :)

horsegurl uwu: SHIT


WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: SJKAHKJAHSJKAHSKJ

christal: UR ASS IS BOUTTA GET MURDERED CAIN

horsegurl uwu: S  H  I  T

horsegurl uwu: GOTTA GO



horsegurl uwu has gone offline!

krystopher: press f to pay ur respects y’all

windy man, take me by the hand~: damn. BIG f.

light em up up up: F!

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’:  BDYEFYIVEWGJWWJ

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: IM CRYIGN

christal: GIVE UR F CAEDA

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: BDODOBUODV SORRY

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: F!!!!

shouto todoroki: cain will be okay, right?

christal: tbh???

christal: who fuckin knows

krystopher: nah he’ll be fine

krystopher: …hopefully

krystopher: besides u probably know jagen better than either of us so what do u think???

shouto todoroki: considering my sister and i were essentially his bosses, i think it’s safe to say that he would be much nicer to us than his pupils.

shouto todoroki: that is to say, i have absolutely no idea.

windy man, take me by the hand~: i can attest to that!

windy man, take me by the hand~: he fuckign hates me

pantherchaser2001: oh come on Merric

pantherchaser2001: ur just being dramatic, I’m sure Jagen doesn’t actually hate you

windy man, take me by the hand~: believe what u want my friend

christal: oh shit we gotta go

christal: jagens lookin at us now

christal: laters!

krystopher: don’t wanna get murdered like cain

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: tell us what happens im begging u

christal: oh we will :)

christal has gone offline!

krystopher has gone offline!

pantherchaser2001: damn goodbye u legend duo

shouto todoroki: wait a minute. abel, why are you not at jagen’s meeting?

pantherchaser2001: ahahhaha yeah about that

pantherchaser2001: I went home bc my fam has been having sum,,, issues

shouto todoroki: ah. my apologies, abel.

pantherchaser2001: nah fam its all right everything’s getting better

pantherchaser2001: its going good, dad’s just getting stiff joints so they needed me to help out a bit til my sister gets home from Aurelis next week

shouto todoroki: ah. well, i am glad that you are alright.

windy man, take me by the hand~: well uh thanks for being a good person mari but can we get back to the topic at hand

light em up up up: what topic

windy man, take me by the hand~: the topic of my immeasurable boredom, of course!

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: of course

light em up up up: well actually i think i have smth we can talk about :)

windy man, take me by the hand~: hmm i don’t think i like that smile!

windy man, take me by the hand~: but i’m bored so just go ahead ig

light em up up up: :)

light em up up up has sent an image: run.jpg

pantherchaser2001: HSGHGSHBYIG WHAT

windy man, take me by the hand~: excuse me what in the fresh fuck is that

shouto todoroki: that.

shouto todoroki: that sure is a picture.

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: is that rlly a stock photo with cains head edited over a robber running away from a policeman with jagens head edited over it

light em up up up: u got eyes don’t u

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: yeah but i didn’t know if i hallucinated it or not

shouto todoroki: it would be more like a fever dream, then, because i saw it too.

pantherchaser2001: hol up

pantherchaser2001: Linde when did u make this

light em up up up: oh like as soon as cain said he wasn’t listening to jagen lmao

pantherchaser2001: damn

windy man, take me by the hand~: wish i was smart like that

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: dw baby u’ll get there

windy man, take me by the hand~: thanks :)

pantherchaser2001: so what do now

light em up up up: idk honestly but my dads just sitting there staring at the sink with the most confused expression ever its not looking good

windy man, take me by the hand~: rip linde’s sink

light em up up up: indeed

pantherchaser2001: oh well at least y’all still have some other ones right?

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: Do Not say y’all

pantherchaser2001: shut the fuck up Caeda we all know ur a yeehaw and a lasso away from being a cowgirl don’t fucking @ me

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: OUCH

light em up up up: HSJHDSJGDHJSGDKAGDK

shouto todoroki: yikes.

windy man, take me by the hand~: oh my GOD this is so fucknng fundshfiuqgfoqy

windy man, take me by the hand~: i’m guiggling

shouto todoroki: this is peak r/rareinsults.

light em up up up: HSKHSJKHSJKHSK

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: the callout hits harder when its true….

shouto todoroki: it really do….

light em up up up: wait so u mean that cain ISNT the only horse girl here???

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: yeah it was a. dark time

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: a REALLY dark time

shouto todoroki: …you were a horsegirl?


WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: i’ve deleted all the pictures from that point in my life so don’t even think about it

shouto todoroki: a pity.

windy man, take me by the hand~: LMFAO

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: AHEM… ANYWAY…

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: do u guys think cains lecture is over

pantherchaser2001: that was a REALLY weak subject change but I’ll allow it

pantherchaser2001: but no it definitely isn’t

windy man, take me by the hand~: 20 bucks says jagen’s gonna go with it overnight

shouto todoroki: i am not taking that bet.

pantherchaser2001: yeah it’s a close call tbh

light em up up up: oh come on jagen can’t be that bad

windy man, take me by the hand~: you don’t KNOW, you weren’t THERE

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: omg is that a lab rats reference

windy man, take me by the hand~: yah lol

light em up up up: oh my godss…,.,.,…..,,,…. my friedns a fuckicn NERD

pantherchaser2001: what the hell happened to your typing

windy man, take me by the hand~: @light em up up up RUDE!!!!

shouto todoroki: okay, so, 1) we been knew; and 2) yes, what the fuck?

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: u okay bby

light em up up up: sikjsshka

light em up up up: yeas!

light em up up up: sorry i was holding my phone in one hand bc my dad made me hold smth for him

pantherchaser2001: ur dad’s not mad that ur texting while helping him?


light em up up up: nah lol

pantherchaser2001: wow I wish my parents were like that

shouto todoroki: what happened?


pantherchaser2001: oh u know they just be like them old style families that are all like, “we sit at the dinner table TOGETHER and we talk about our DAY and how we FEEL and how PHONES are the DEVIL and will give you TETANUS”

shouto todoroki: okay so that didn’t sound too bad at first, but then it went down like crashing airplane.

light em up up up: SJDHJSHDKDHSKHS

windy man, take me by the hand~: LMFAO WTF 


light em up up up: ,,,ur parents seriously think that phones will give you tetanus??


pantehrchaser2001: ok no that was an exaggeration, but they never want to see me and Alexandria on our phones

pantherchaser2001: p much if they catch us, we have to put them away immediately bc “we need to socially interact with one another”

light em up up up: i mean… that’s not too bad of a punishment

pantherchaser2001: it is when my sister’s idea of socially interacting with me is to chase me around the house with a rubber club trying to beat me with it

windy man, take me by the hand~: hey uh no offense but what the FUCK is wrong with your family

pantherchaser2001: none taken, and I don’t know

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: ok but for real are any of our parents okay

shouto todoroki: i think mine are?

windy man, take me by the hand~: are they tho

shouto todoroki: well, i mean, i think you’d know considering you practically fucking live with us.

windy man, take me by the hand~: excuse me!!! ur parents love me!!! i’m charming!!! i charm them!!!

shouto todoroki: oh, so like when you almost skinned off your arm?

windy man, take me by the hand~: SJKJKJSDHGJGDSHJ AW FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: W AIT HWAT

pantherchaser2001: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

windy man, take me by the hand~: oh my GOD i never told you guys this???

light em up up up: NO??? IM SO CONFSUDEHUIDGWIUDIW


shouto todoroki: it appears i’ve fucked up.

shouto todoroki: you don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to, merric.

windy man, take me by the hand~: hjskhdskjhfjsk no its okay

windy man, take me by the hand~: actually tho we should probably get elice to explain it bc i don’t remember shit

shouto todoroki: makes sense.

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: PLEASE DO ADD HER IM ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT

shouto todoroki has added im not like other girls * im worse * to the chat!

im not like other girls * im worse *: yo

light em up up up: HO MY GO D HER USERNAMEBF IRBFIVYERBVWFIYEW

pantherchaser2001: WHAT IS THIS

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: IM CRY LAUGNING 


im not like other girls * im worse *: i love being appreciated

im not like other girls * im worse *: why am i here tho

shouto todoroki: fence climbing, skin peeling incident.

im not like other girls * im worse *: BDSBDSKDBKSDS OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS STORY!!!!!


windy man, take me by the hand~: of course u do smfh

light em up up up: elice pls tell us the story I’m literally DYING to hear it

im not like other girls * im worse *: SJKSJSKHAJKHSK OK SO

im not like other girls * im worse *: WHEN MARTH AND MERRIC WERE LITTLE THEY WERE BOTH DUMBASSES (AND STILL ARE LMFAO) BUT THATS NOT REALLY RELEVANT. ANYWAY THEY USED TO LIKE TO CLIMB UP THE GATE AND BALCONIES AT OUR HOUSE BC THEY WERE LITTLE MONKEY DEMONS. ONE DAY MERRIC GOES UP TOO FAR AND ENDS UP FALLING AND SKINNING HIS ARM ON ONE OF THE SPIRES ON THE GATE

light em up up up: FCUCK



pantherchaser2001: OH MY FUCKDIHWUKJSK GOD????


im not like other girls * im worse *: NO NO NNO WAIT IT GETS WORSE


windy man, take me by the hand~: here it comes…

im not like other girls * im worse *: SO MARTH RUNS IN TO GET MOM AND SHE COMES OUT AND MERRICS JUST CHILLIN THERE IN A POOL OF HIS OWN BLOOD

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: WHAT THE HELL

im not like other girls * im worse *: MOM RUNS OVER TO HIM AND IS ALL “OH MY NAGA ARE YOU OKAY???” AND MERRIC JUST LOOKS UP AT HER, TAKES A DEEP BREATH, AND SAYS “THAT WAS INCONVENIENT” AS IF HE ISNT LITERALLY LAYING IN HIS OWN BLOOD

light em up up up: HWAT THE FUCKHUJW

light em up up up: IM LOISNGD MY MIND



windy man, take me by the hand~: LOL ITS FUNNIER THAN I REMEMBER

im not like other girls * im worse *: YEAH so anyway mom healed him up and he was fine except for a scar but HE WAS SO CALM ABOUT THE WHOLE THING JSJDKHKSJHDJKS

shouto todoroki: finally, it’s over.

windy man, take me by the hand~ has sent an image: scar.jpg

pantherchaser2001: HOLY SHIT

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: BRO U WILDIN THO…… WTF……

im not like other girls * im worse *: ANYWAY there’s the story of how merric ruined his reputation among the altean nobility HSJDHJSDJSGDHJSGJS

light em up up up: I AM IN…. TEARS….. LITERALLY…… WHAT THE FUCK…..

pantherchaser2001: does… does… does that scar…d eos it hurt… does it I’m seweating……….

windy man, take me by the hand~: nah lmao not anymore but at first? yah it definitely hurt like shit

pantherchaser2001: I…. I just….. I……..

light em up up up: WHAT A TRIP

horsegurl uwu has gone online!

horsegurl uwu: hey boyos gurlos and those who don’t subscribe to the gender binary guess who’s still alive!!!


horsegurl uwu: bet you thought you’d seen the last of me motheruckers!!!

light em up up up: omg hi cain!!!

light em up up up: how’d it go???

windy man, take me by the hand~: linde you messy bitch ur only being nice to him so u can get the tea

light em up up up has sent an image: andwhataboutit.jpg

windy man, take me by the hand~: that’s fair!

horsegurl uwu: oh it was fine!!

horsegurl uwu: i got out of it like a champ!

christal has gone online!

krystopher had gone online!

krystopher: u sure about that buddy? jagen flayed ur ass so hard that u gonna get multiple third degree burns

horsegurl uwu: HAJDHSJKDHJKS

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: RIP

pantherchaser2001: oh my GOD what did Jagen say give me the tea!!!

christal: basically just the usual you know, threats of detention and dismemberment

light em up up up: hey what the fuck does that mean

krystopher: and jagen said that if cain ever was on his phone again during class that he’d force cain to watch a windows computer download an update dhksfghkdsgfhkfs

light em up up up: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

horsegurl uwu: OMG LITERALLY STOP

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: *VALLEY GIRL VC* OMG LITERALLY STOP

horsegurl uwu: SHDKJSDHKSGDKHGSBDKSH

krystopher: anyway to spare cain further embarrassment,

krystopher: what’s goin on with you all

horsegurl uwu: YOU WERE LITERALLY THE ONE WHO EXPOSED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE KRYSTAL

krystopher: be quite horse fucker this isn’t about you

horsegurl uwu: IM

im not like other girls * im worse *: WHOS YOU ALL

krystopher: krystal

christal: christopher

horsegurl uwu: cain

im not like other girls * im worse *: yeah okay i guessed that one :)

horsegurl uwu: “yeah okay” fuck off sweaty :)

im not like other girls * im worse *: SHDJGSHDKGAHAGK

krystopher: OH MY GOD WTF MERRIC


windy man, take me by the hand~: did u read back

krystopher: WHAT THE EHLLH IS WRNG WITH U DHUIEGFYIEWGLI

windy man, take me by the hand~: i’ll take that as a yes

christal: omg

christal: u a straight up mess i swear

windy man, take me by the hand~: no chris i’m a GAY up mess get ur facts straiht

windy man, take me by the hand~: fuck i just realized that none of us can

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: SHDKAHDIGWSHDKSHDS

shouto todoroki: “straiht.”

windy man, take me by the hand~: WAIT SHIT DID I REALLY SPELL THAT WRONG

light em up up up: HURRY AND FIX IT UR GRAMMAR LOVING SELF IS GOING TO BE SHAMED

windy man, take me by the hand~: OH MY GOD

windy man, take me by the hand~: staight??? straght???? srtaight??????

pantherchaser2001: WHEN I TELL YALL THAT I CHOKED

im not like other girls * im worse *: lmao merric’s so gay that he can’t even spell straight right

krystopher: WHERE IS THE LIE…….

windy man, take me by the hand~: I LITERALLY CANT WTF THE FUCK IM LOSING MY MIND

shouto todoroki: WELL. in my humble opinion, that’s enough of that!

shouto todoroki: i am going to bed, because it is very late! good night, everybody!

shouto todoroki has gone offline!


horsegurl uwu: smfh why do i feel like that was a drag at us

krystopher: um??? bc it was lmao

im not like other girls * im worse *: my brother’s WEAK

windy man, take me by the hand~: ok so i am also going to bed it’s been two hours and i need to reevaluate myself and my life because ic ant fucki ng spell striaght

light em up up up: i think merric’s officially crackedt

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: linde sweatie….

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: he BEEN crackedt

light em up up up: damn…. u rite

windy man, take me by the hand~: anyway!!! goodnight bitches!!!

windy man, take me by the hand~ has gone offline!

christal: do you think they’re going to go make out or something

WE’RE SAORIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: DHKAHJKAGIWYW WHAT????

krystopher: they’re???? not even in the same city rn???

christal: oh

krystopher: once again proving why I’M the superior twin

christal: oh fuck off

krystopher: weak

christal: im too tired rn to make a comeback tbh

light em up up up: same like its been fun but i think marth and mera were right and we need to go the fuck to sleep

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: i read that in morgana’s voice dhskfgshkfgskh

horsegurl uwu: “NICE ONE JOKER! …NOW GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!”

christal: LMFAOOOOOO

shouto todoroki has gone online!

shouto todoroki: what did i say about it being late? :)

pantherchaser2001: oh shit the fun police is here !!!

im not like other girls * im worse *: EVERYONE SCATTER!!!

Chapter Text

chads only chat (3:26 PM)

christal has gone online!

christal: hey guys

christal: i just read that capsaicin makes your mouth burn bc it increases your sensitivity to hot stuff and that menthol does the same thing but with the cold

christal: so basically if i eat a hot mushroom then eat a cold one theyll cancel each other and ill be fine

light em up up up: uhhhh i don’t think

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: shhh i wanna see how this ends

shouto todoroki: not very well, i’m assuming.

christal: hey guys

christal: guess what hellfire tastes like

horsegurl uwu: RIP

pantherchaser2001: damn that sucks my guy

windy man, take me by the hand~: fun fact!

windy man, take me by the hand~: the nerve endings for “ouch too hot” and “ouch too cold” are completely different!

windy man, take me by the hand~: therefore they can both be activated at the same time without cancelling each other out!

windy man, take me by the hand: rip in fucking pieces crisp

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: IM CRYING YO

shouto todoroki: truly a sad ending.

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: HSDHSFJSDFDSJFK

christal: GUYS IM NOT JOKING MY MOUTH FUCKING H U R T S


pantehrchaser2001: OMG THIS IS LITERALLY SO FUCKING SAD

pantherchaser2001: KRYSTAL GET UR FUCKING BROTHER OH MY GOD

krystopher: SKHADABKDAKB CHRIS U DUMBASS


christal: KRYSTAL GET ME SOME WATER OR SOMETHING HELP ME IM UR BROTHER

krystopher: SHQJABSUYWVDY OK FINE

im not like other girls * im worse *: christopher deciding to be a dumbass and trust what he read off of wikipedia?? why am i not surprised

windy man, take me by the hand~: DHKHDJKSDGKSDGHK

light em up up up: DRAG HIS ASS THRU THE GUTTER!!!!!

krystopher: HEY ELICE CHRIS WANTS ME TO TELL YOU THAT “IT WASNT WIKIPEDIA AND THAT I GOT IT OFF OF REDDIT SO THERE”


im not like other girls * im worse *: WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE THATS BETTER THAT’S LITERALLY WORSE IM

horsegurl uwu: LMAOOOOO


shouto todoroki: you all are such fucking messes.

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: where’s the lie…..

pantherchaser2001: ur being oddly testy recently Marth

light em up up up: i think after our last chat he snapped tbh

shouto todoroki: i did!

light em up up up: good to know buddy

horsegurl uwu: krystal is chris alive still

krystopher: unfortunately

krystopher: i got his dumb ass to finally drink some milk

krystopher: wait and he’s drINKING IT STRAIGHT OUT OF THE CARTON WHAT THE FUCK

im not like other girls * im worse *: omg ew

krystopher: yeah i guess that’s his milk now cus i ain’t touching it.

krystopher: ever

shouto todoroki: that’s really fucking gross.

horsegurl uwu: SHDJSHDJKSHDKSJS NOT MARTH SNAPPING

shouto todoroki: ;)

pantherchaser2001: SHDKGHKSGSDKHGSHK

light em up up up: HE TOLD NO LIES

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: OMGGGG GAYS DID YALL SEE ABT THAT NEW SEASON OF THAT SPACE SHOW


windy man, take me by the hand~: mcfuckin scuse me “moonstar battle” is not just “that space show”

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: WHATEVER NERD

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: ITS RENEWED

light em up up up: OMG YASS THE GAY SPACE SHOW

horsegurl uwu: sorry im missing something here what’s the “gay space show”


shouto todoroki: it’s a show called “moonstar battle.” think star wars, but if han solo and luke skywalker had sexual tension. or if obi-wan and anakin had MORE sexual tension.

shouto todoroki: basically, the premise is that the last remaining life in the universe has come together to try and find one last place to live before the last stars dies out.

shouto todoroki: there’s a lot of drama and angst, as expected, but also a lot of fluffy stuff and shit.

shouto todoroki: it’s pretty good, i’d recommend it.

horsegurl uwu: oh wait i was gonna make fun of it but that actually sounds dope-

light em up up up: right???

windy man, take me by the hand~: wait mari u said that u didn’t watch the show

shouto todoroki: …uh. i plead the fifth?

windy man, take me by the hand~: U LYING BICTH

im not like other girls * im worse *: wait merric shut up for a sec

im not like other girls * im worse *: are they ACTUALLY gay or is this just sum sorta klance situation :/

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: nah lol they GAY gay

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: like, pine for each other but deny the feelings gay while everyone else can see it

shouto todoroki: oh, so like elice and

light em up up up: …like her and who???

pantherchaser2001: CSJKHJKSGHDKJSD RIP


horsegurl uwu: OH MYD GOD



windy man, take me by the hand~: mari??? mari u there???

im not like other girls * im worse *: everything’s okay :)

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: nah bc i don’t trust that smile at all-

im not like other girls * im worse *: :))

pantherchaser2001: hm. alright.

horsegurl uwu: we’ll get the tea later don’t think ur in the clear

im not like other girls * im worse *: :)))

krystopher: yeah anyway chris decided to stop being gross and is now lying on the ground in sadness

krystopher has sent an image: ripinpieces.jpg

windy man, take me by the hand: if that aint me

pantherchaser2001: someone add the swirl mr krabs filter

light em up up up: as your resident image editor i gots it !!

light em up up up has sent an image: whenlifeaintworkingout.jpg

horsegurl uwu: nice

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: BDHFKRBFKHBFKHHK YALL KILL MEEEEE

light em up up up: ;))

shouto todoroki has gone online!

windy man, take me by the hand~: oop

shouto todoroki: guess what, bitches

windy man, take me by the hand~: OOP

im not like other girls * im worse *: oh GODDAMNIT

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: YALL ARE SO FUKCFINEG FJUHJCKFCNG GYIDVGYIDEUDFYT

shouto todoroki: i lived :)

im not like other girls * im worse *: aw dw marth i’ll get ur ass next time :)

shouto todoroki: i’d like to see you try :))

im not like other girls * im worse *: oh you will :)))

shouto todoroki: looking forward to it :)))))

windy man, take me by the hand~: the lowell siblings everyone

light em up up up: hey guys not to interrupt or anything but uhhh

light em up up up has sent an image: onlinequiz.jpg

light em up up up: i was doing a ~quiz~ to figure out how smart i am and this showed up lmao

im not like other girls * im worse *: “who was archenean queen during the dragon war” wtf why is that a question on a quiz to find out how smart you are

light em up up up: I HAVE NO IDEA

krystopher: pls these answers… justine rogers… TAYLOR SWFT



windy man, take me by the hand~: omg i think its justine rogers!!!


light em up up up: MERRIC PLS….

im not like other girls * im worse *: omg justine rogers homophobic queen

horsegurl uwu: HDKHDGKSDHGKS PLEASE hHE WAS BFFS WITH MARIUS LOWELL

light em up up up: and she later came out as bisexual!!!

im not like other girls * im worse *: yah that’s why i said KING cain get with the program

im not like other girls * im worse *: may he rest in peace…

horsegurl uwu: rip

windy man, take me by the hand~: wait ohmy god justine rogers is dead??

shouto todoroki: …yes?

light em up up up: boy she been dead

windy man, take me by the hand~: OMG NOOOOO

windy man, take me by the hand~: HOW LONG

pantherchaser2001: idk I think she died like four yrs ago or smth

windy man, take me by the hand~: WHAT

horsegurl uwu: how’d you not know??

windy man, take me by the hand~: IDK BUT??? I NEVER SAW IT

windy man, take me by the hand~: FUCK

windy man, take me by the hand~: THIS REALLY SUCKS

krystopher: man it rlly does now that i think abt it…

christal has gone online!

christal: yall move so fast pls

windy man, take me by the hand~: STFU CRISP JUSTINE ROGERS IS AN ALTEAN LEGEND I AM  G R E I V I N G

christal: CHILL I WAS KIDDING

shouto todoroki: how is your mouth, chris?


christal: still on fire :)

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: THE SMILEY FACEVYUDVSTUDCTWK

light em up up up: is caeda having a mental breakdown

horsegurl uwu: looks that way

krystopher: first marth, now caeda….. Who Will Be Taken Next

horsegurl uwu: abel

pantherchaser2001: bitch did you just volunteer me like its the fuckin hunger games??

horsegurl uwu: SHDKJHSJKDS PLS

krystopher: they don’t volunteer people in the hunger games dumb ass

pantherchaser2001: did I ask???

im not like other girls * im worse *: YALL ARE SO FUCKIN MEAN TO EACH OTHER

shouto todoroki: oh, says you.

im not like other girls * im worse *: don’t make me come for u marth i’ve already snatched ur wig and i’ll do it again

shouto todoroki: goodbye!

horsegurl uwu: BKEDGHKWGDKWGKW

windy man, take me by the hand~: wait hol up ellie what’d u say to him

light em up up up: i thought you were grieving

windy man, take me by the hand~: i was but the phone notifs were going off so i wanted to see what y’all were doing

shouto todoroki: do not fucking tell him, elice.

im not like other girls * im worse *: hmm…

shouto todoroki: elice i swear to god

im not like other girls -> shouto todoroki (DM) 4:56 PM

im not like other girls * im worse *: i won’t tell him if you don’t tell her

shouto todoroki: …very well.

chads only chat ( 4:58 PM)

im not like other girls * im worse *: nah i don’t think i will

windy man, take me by the hand~: booooooo

shouto todoroki: you want to see me get dragged that bad, huh?

windy man, take me by the hand~: I MEAN

shouto todoroki: ah, i see.

horsegurl uwu: BDKDGHKS

light em up up up: the ultimate betrayal

windy man, take me by the hand~: actually its not a betrayal bc i’d want to hear roasts of any of you so

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: BRO PLS DHIYWGYVK IM GYGYOWGFY

light em up up up: caeda!!! u okay hun :(

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: YAS ILL BE FINOEWYO P
 WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: HOOOOO OKAY

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: I AM OKAY

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: but thx for u concern linde ur so sweet <3

light em up up up: !!! <3

windy man, take me by the hand~ -> light em up up up (DM) 5:04 PM

windy man, take me by the hand~: gay

light em up up up: SHUT YOUR UP THE

chads only chat (5:05 PM)

pantherchaser2001: so anyways.

horsegurl uwu: damn why you always gotta change the subject so fast man

pantherchaser2001: um bc I have the attention span of a two year old toddler on that weird ass cactus juice from avatar the last airbender??

christal: LOL

horsegurl uwu: thats… specific. but also fair

light em up up up: the weirder ur analogies become the funnier they are imo

pantherchser2001: aw thanks :)

christal: but like i relate to that… but i have adhd so

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: omg same!!! haha twinsies!!

christal: UR KIDDING OMG

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: nope!!!

christal: !!! YAS!!! 80 eytch dee solidarity ~

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: 80 EYTCH DEE PLS XHSUHGSUYGHDIY

windy man, take me by the hand~: aw thats sweet!!

windy man, take me by the hand~: and since we’re sharing…

light em up up up: what???

windy man, take me by the hand~: i just wanted to tell you guys that i’m autistic! so. yeah.

christal: ND SOLIDARITY!!!


windy man, take me by the hand~: !!


light em up up up: omg im so glad you felt comfortable sharing that with us :)

windy man, take me by the hand~: hdkjshfkjsfjks pls linde i (platonically) lysm ur legit so sweet

shouto todoroki: i’m glad you felt good with us, too.

windy man, take me by the hand~: omg deifgyfhgkyfe i love you all sm i can’t believe this

im not like other girls * im worse *: <3!!


windy man, take me by the hand~: OMG ELLIE I CANT BELIEVE YOU JUST SENT ME A HEART I KNEW YOU LOVED ME :)))

im not like other girls * im worse *: and you fuckin ruined it merric

windy man, take me by the hand~: PLS DHKSHDSKDSK IM SORRY

horsegurl uwu: today has been very… filling. i feel something like… full. i don’t feel angry

krystopher: well okay prince zuko that would be called ~ happiness ~

light em up up up: PRINCE ZUKO IM DEAD DHSKDHK

horsegurl uwu: huh…happiness… i like it

krystopher: not gonna comment on the prince zuko thing huh? aight i get it

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: ummmm…. i feel stupid for asking this but uh

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: what’s prince zuko…

windy man, take me by the hand~: …ur joking

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: NO IM NOT I ACTUALLY DONT KNOW

pantherchaser2001: prince Zuko is from avatar the last airbender (same show with the cactus juice) and he’s a very famous and iconic character.

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: thanks abel!

christal: OMFG YOUVE NEVER SEEN ATLA….

christal: WE GOTS TO CHANGE THAT

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: WELL WHERE IS IT THEN HUH

horsegurl uwu: netflix??

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: oh.

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: well, in that case,

pantherchaser2001: yeah yeah yeah go watch a few episodes and come back later with the tea

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: yeppers!!


WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’ has gone offline!

windy man, take me by the hand~: lmao she’s gonna hyperfixate on it i just know it

christal: RIGHT?? I REMEMBER MY EIGHT YR OLD ASS SURE DID


light em up up up: oh she’ll definitely like it for sure

light em up up up: anyways, since dad and i uh didn’t exactly finish the sink last night i hear him calling for me to help him again

windy man, take me by the hand~: damn. you poor, poor soul

krystopher: good luck

light em up up up: thanks!!!

light em up up up has gone offline!

im not like other girls * im worse * -> shouto todoroki (DM) 6:14 PM

im not like other girls * im worse *: SHDJKSHDKJS PLS I CANT GET OVER HOW UR GAY ASS WAS SO JEALOUS EARLIER DHKDKSGKHSGDKS

shouto todoroki: shut the FUCK up. my god.

im not like other girls * im worse *: KEKS UR SO PISSED LMAO

shouto todoroki: THIS ISN’T ABOUT ME

shouto todoroki: I JUST WANT MERRIC TO KNOW THAT I LOVE AND SUPPORT HIM, OKAY???

im not like other girls * im worse *: YES YES OKAY OKAY JESUS

im not like other girls * im worse *: i want him to know that too i was just making a joke !! sorry if it was inappropriate

shouto todoroki: no, it’s fine.

shouto todoroki: sorry if i overreacted.

im not like other girls * im worse *: mm.

im not like other girls * im worse *: …hey you okay mar? you seem so tired and angry all the time even thru just ur texts.

shouto todoroki: i’m fine. just have a lot of school work.

im not like other girls * im worse *: no you dont. ur on break. if ur gonna lie to me do it better

shouto todoroki: i’m fine. drop it.

im not like other girls * im worse *: ur not. im getting dad to take you to a doctor tmrw.

shouto todoroki: i don’t need to go to a fucking shrink elice.

im not like other girls * im worse *: it’s not a shrink! and there’s nothing wrong with taking to someone when u aren’t feeling well. ur going. end of story.

shouto todoroki: …fine.

Chapter Text

chads only chat (12:34 PM)

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: HHEEEYYYG GUYSSSS

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: WHASS UPS


windy man, take me by the hand~: what the hell?

pantherchaser2001: why are you typing like ur drunk or on drugs in some capacity

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: BC I AM ON A DRUG AND THAT DRUG IS CALLED AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER

christal: wait how far did you you get

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: MID SEASON 2

christal: WTF THE FUCK YOU HAD TO HAVE STAYED UP HALF THE NIGHT TO GET THAT FAR

pantherchaser2001: well that would explain why she’s typing like an actual crackhead

krystopher: wtf

krystopher: caeda what’s wrong with u

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: i don’t know

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: BUT IST SOOOOO GOODDD

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: AND I JST CAME ON TO SAY THATS AN DTO DO SOMETH ELSE !!!


horsegurl uwu has gone online!

horsegurl uwu: what… the fuck

horsegurl uwu: WHENEVER I COME ON YALL ARE BREAKING DOWN THE FUCK

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: OMG HIII CAIN

horsegurl uwu: hi caeda please go to bed ur scaring me

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: IN A MOMENT HOLD ON

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’ is typing…

windy man, take me by the hand~: ITS BEEN FIVE MINUTES CAEDA WTF ARE YOU TYPING THE FEDERALIST PAPERS?!?!?!?

shouto todoroki has changed their name to zuko todoroki!


horsgurl uwu: HWAT THE FRUCK

pantherchaser2001: I SpAT OUT MY SODA

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: I HAD TO DO THAT BUT DTEH I REMEBERD THAT MARTH HAS ADMIN PRIV SO I WENT AND STOLE HIS PHONED FROM HSI ROOMM

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: ANWAY!! IM GOINGFD TO BED GOONIGHT

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’ has gone offline!


windy man, take me by the hand~: omg goodbye u legend…

horsegurl uwu: MARTHS GONNA BE SO PISSED LMAO

pantherchser2001: where is marth anyway

horsegurl uwu: idk probably asleep caeda said she stole his phone so

windy man, take me by the hand~: yeah that makes sense. he’s usually up by now tho

horsegurl uwu: yeah ofc ud know that lol

windy man, take me by the hand~: what’s that supposed to mean

horsegurl uwu: nothing. dw abt it

windy man, take me by the hand~: hmm. ok?

light em up up up has gone online!

light em up up up: guys ur not gonna believe this shit

windy man, take me by the hand~: what happened lmao

light em up up up has sent an image: whut.jpg

horsegurl uwu: what the hell is that

light em up up up: well it /used/ to be my sink

pantherchaser2001: oh my god

light em up up up: yeah

horsegurl uwu: i don’t think the faucet is supposed to look like that

light em up up up: YEAH… might need to call a plumber tbh

pantherchaser2001: is ur dad like just completely unable to do anything or

light em up up up: well he did grow up rich-

pantherchaser2001: ahh that explains it

pantherchaser2001: you know I personally think that all rich people should get robbed at least once a week

light em up up up: why tho

pantherchaser2001: it builds character

pantherchaser2001: all y’all in here except Cain and MAYBE Caeda need to get robbed

horsegurl uwu: BRUH

horsegurl uwu: I LITERALLY AM FROM A RICH FMILY MY GUY

pantherchaser2001: I know I’m in denial

windy man, take me by the hand~: jokes on you abel i don’t have any money !!!

pantherchser2001: HOW do you not have any money isn’t ur family like one of the richest in the country??

windy man, take me by the hand~: ah ah ah but you forgot one little thing ;)

pantherchaser2001: and what might that be huh??


 windy man, take me by the hand~: student debt!

pantherchaser2001: damn… u rite.

light em up up up: isn’t caeda also rich

pantherchaser2001: OK LISTEN

pantherchaser2001: THE POINT IS THEY NEED TO BE ROBBED GOT IT???

windy man, take me by the hand~: i mean ur not wrong

christal: you kinda spilled

windy man, take me by the hand -> light em up up up (DM) (12:45 PM)

windy man, take me by the hand~: always gotta talk abt caeda now dontcha linde

light em up up up: FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING MARTH SIMP

windy man, take me by the hand~: SDHSAHDJKASHSJAHJS

chads only chat (12:50)

krystopher: i agree with abel tbh

im not like other girls * im worse *: ur grandpa was a noble lmao

krystopher: ur point??

im not like other girls * im worse *: I WAS JUST SAYING

christal: omg grandpa maclear… hows he doing i wonder

krystopher: prolly having fun in his old ass retirement home

christal: do you think hes harassing everyone there acting like a complete crackhead

krystopher: yeah

light em up up up: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN SJHJKSHDJKSHJD

krystopher: our grandpa maclear’s a fuckin crazy old bastard

im not like other girls * im worse *: ok but he’s iconic tbh

windy man, take me by the hand~: tru

krystopher: oh my god you guys

windy man, take me by the hand~: what

krystopher: fucking jeorge menedy just texted me

krystopher: he says he needs to talk to elice??

windy man, take me by the hand~: WAIT ISNT JEORGE MENEDY THE HOT PONYTAILED GUY

christal: das him

im not like other girls * im worse *: what does he want?

krystopher: idk hold on let me add him

krystopher has added jeroge to the chat!

jeroge: IS ELICE LOWELL HERE

im not like other girls * im worse *: waz boppin

jeroge: text nyna she has sumn to tell you

im not like other girls * im worse *: she couldn’t have just texted me it already??

jeroge: i dunno man im just the messenger

im not like other girls * im worse *: ok i guess???

im not like other girls * im worse * has gone offline!

jeroge: lmao

light em up up up: …jeorge you planned something didn’t you

jeroge: mayhaps

jeroge: but lemme change the subject real quick chile

jeroge: ooh who thinks im hot *eye emoji*

windy man, take me by the hand~: ……….hi

jeroge: who you

windy man, take me by the hand~: merric

jeroge: OH i know you

jeroge: ur that overachiever kid from khadein right

windy man, take me by the hand~: wow nice to see what a reputation i have

jeroge: thats a yes then

jeroge: dude i read ur essays they were actually really fuckin good

windy man, take me by the hand~: WAIT REALLY

windy man, take me by the hand~: I DIDNT KNOW PEOPLE ACTUALLY READ THEM DFSGDFGSJ

jeroge: yeah!!

jeroge: that one theses about romeo and juliet was pretty lit

jeroge: i mean i never thought about it being a metaphor for the stages of grief but it was really interesting

windy man, take me by the hand~: i mean i bullshitted that one lol

windy man, take me by the hand~: i don’t think shakespeare intended it that way

jeroge: probably not but its a cool pov!!

pantherchaser2001: y’all ever seen that one tumblr post where its like “I used to think that Shakespeare was pretentious until I saw a production of Romeo and Juliet where Benvolio and Mercutio did a synchronized dab and honestly it’s what Shakespeare would have wanted” bc thats me asf

windy man, take me by the hand~: ok but benvolio and mercutio were hella gay for each other no cap

jeroge: FACTS

light em up up up: bruh the true tragedy of the play was them not bromeo and juliet

jeroge: BROMEO…

horsegurl uwu: i mean…. u sure merric?? i don’t really see it

windy man, take me by the hand~: trust me cain i studied this shit i know what im talking bout

horsegurl uwu: alright whatever

light em up up up: how is it that merric can write whole ass essays on shit like this and even when he completely bullshits it it still sounds smart

light em up up up: yet he doesn’t know how to properly spell “straight”


windy man, take me by the hand~: linde


light em up up up: yeah

windy man, take me by the hand~: ……….shut the fuck up

windy man, take me by the hand~: (ur embarrassing me in front of the cute boy!!!)

light em up up up: (sorry babe xoxo)

krystopher: just because you put it in parenthesis doesn’t mean we can’t see what you typed

windy man, take me by the hand~: i could give less of a fuck

krystopher: damn okay

jeroge: don’t worry merric one time i forgot how to spell “the”


pantherchaser2001: rip

horsegurl uwu: HOW COULD YOU EVEN MANAGE THAT??

jeorge: my crackhead brain always finds a way, trust me

christal: speaking of dumb moments,

christal: one time in elementary school the teacher asked me to spell farenheight and i spelled falsiloquence instead

jeroge: thats not stupid thats genius

krystopher: you spelled fahrenheit wrong bro

christal: FUCK

windy man, take me by the hand~: yeah well so did you krystal

krystopher: really how is it spelled then

windy man, take me by the hand~: phahrenheit obviously *three rolling eye emojis*

pantherchaser2001: I-

krystopher: did you just fucking type out “three rolling eye emojis”

windy man, take me by the hand~: yeah i was too lazy to look for them in the menu

light em up up up: that’s

krystopher: but

krystopher: oh fuck it never mind

horsegurl uwu: christopher is that even a word that you just said??

christal: yeah but its a rlly fuckin obscure one it means “deceitful speech” or some shit idk

christal: i heard grandma say it once and i guess it just stuck in my brain

horsegurl uwu: i didn’t think you’d be smart enough to remember something so big chris

pantherchaser2001: really talking here are you Cain?

horsegurl uwu: at least im not the one who once blamed my dog for breaking all the plates in my house

light em up up up: wait you did wHAT

pantherchaser2001: shut the fuck up Cain you probably think Pyramid Head is attractive

light em up up up: NOT PYRAMID HEADADSGFAE

horsegurl uwu: bro i do Not that game gave me nightmares as kid

light em up up up: IT GAVE EVERYONE NIGHTMARES AS A KID

light em up up up: I DIDNT EVEN PLAY IT AND I STILL HAD THEM

pantherchaser2001: my sister played all of the old school Silent Hill games and all I remember is hearing her screaming a lot and the sound of radio static

krystopher: abel you just brought back war flashbacks my gods

jeroge: ok but pyramid head is dummy thicc you gotta admit that

windy man, take me by the hand~: have you ever been on the ao3 tag for silent hill its so funny

krystopher: RIGHT WHY IS EVERYONE SO THIRSTY FOR A GUY WITH A GIANT TRIANGULAR BOX ON HIS HEAD

christal: like jeorge said, hES DUMMY T H I C C

jeroge: what if someone was cursed with all of the dummy and none of the thicc?

light em up up up: thanks! i hate it.

horsegurl uwu: i mean come on krystal

horsegurl uwu: it’s not that unbelievable i’ve seen people who are horny for darth vader with the suit

jeorge: is it because of the choking thing

christal: yk what probably

pantherchaser2001: is everyone just gonna ignore that Merric and Krystal basically admitted that they read fanfiction

windy man, take me by the hand~: uhhh it’s not like i tried to hide it but

pantherchaser2001: Merric do you read x reader fanfics

windy man, take me by the hand~: if i lie and say no will you leave me alone

light em up up up: GDSJHGDHSGDFJS

jeroge: oh my god

horsegurl uwu: jeorge how do you feel about merric now

jeroge: i mean……….. it’s not a complete turnoff

windy man, take me by the hand~: mostly i was kidding but nice to know that you’re accepting i guess!

krystopher: “mostly”

windy man, take me by the hand~: krystal you read fanfiction too don’t even

krystopher: excuse you i read fix-it fics

windy man, take me by the hand~: so does mcfucking EVERYONE

jeroge: ok true.

jeroge: everyone’s also read smut whether or not they want to admit it

horsegurl uwu: …..i would deny it but you guys would just come in with the receipts so im not gonna bother

pantherchaser2001: good choice

windy man, take me by the hand~: speaking of one time i was sitting next to this guy in class and he was writing a GODDAMN SMUT FANFIC

christal: OH MY GOD???


light em up up up: what the ehll thagts so funny i

light em up up up: but wait wait wait mera what was it for

light em up up up: like what fandom

windy man, take me by the hand~: no idea but the guy caught me staring at him, looked at me for like a solid minute, then went back to writing

windy man, take me by the hand~: he even slanted the phone towards me a bit to show how much he did not give a fuck

jeroge: LEGEND BEHAVIOR

light em up up up: THE ABSOLUTE MADLAD

 christal: THE ABSOLUTE MADLADGFHSAFDGHSA

pantherchaser2001: is anyone else still depressed about Silent Hills being canceled

windy man, take me by the hand~: DUH

light em up up up: i will Never play a horror game but yeah it depressed me too bc now i don’t get to watch gaming channels react to the jump scares :((

horsegurl uwu: so……. if there was silent hill collection that came out on the switch would you buy it

light em up up up: nope!

windy man, take me by the hand~: if its not the shitty ass hd collection and included sh4 then  yes absolutely i would buy it

pantherchaser2001: …..you like Silent Hill 4?

windy man, take me by the hand~: yeah bc its QUALITEA

pantherchaser2001: I mean I GUESS but the name makes me think of Tommy Wisseau

horsegurl uwu: aw good to know so i can crush ur dreams by reminding you that konami lost the source code so that won’t ever happen :)

windy man, take me by the hand~: ok honestly fuck you

lowell fam squad chat (1:27 PM)

ellie ann: guys im so gay

bethy: tell us something we don’t know

ellie ann: mom please :(

bethy: sorry dear

finding cory: No you aren’t

bethy: yeah you’re right im not lolololol

ellie ann: ANYWAYS…

ellie ann: how’s mar mar doing?

marfy has gone online!

marfy: you do realize i am in this chat as well, yes?

 ellie ann: ofc i do baby bro!

ellie ann: i just knew that you wouldn’t be able to resist coming on if i mentioned you ;)

ellie ann: now seriously. how did it go?

marfy: it went well, actually.

marfy: he’s a nice guy. his name is hardin, i think?

marfy: yeah, that’s right. anyway, i think i can deal with going to talk to him

ellie ann: yay!!!

ellie ann: im glad it went well!!!

finding cory: We are too Marth

finding cory: And I am truly sorry you thought you couldn’t trust us with your depression

marfy: it’s fine. it’s not your fault, i didn’t tell anyone.

marfy: elice had to pry it out of me.

bethy: still

bethy: we want you to know we’re always here for you mar mar <3

marfy: <3

finding cory: I must say though I was quite surprised to see Hardin again, and as a therapist!

marfy: wait, you guys know each other?

finding cory: Yes

finding cory: I was his fencing teacher when he was a child

bethy: damn you old hardin is like forty something

finding cory: You’re older than me???

bethy: fuck you’re right

bethy: now ellie dear what were you saying about being gay?

finding cory: That was a terrible subject change but I’m curious as well so I’ll allow it

marfy: yeah, ellie… who’s this person you’re gay for? :)

ellie ann: MARTH I WILL EXPOSE YOU DONT EVEN TRY IT

finding cory: Expose him about what? His crush on Merric? Because we already all know that

ellie ann: ,

marfy: that’s

ellie ann: oh my GOD DGJSHFGHJSFS

bethy: cory!!!! we said we wouldn’t tell that we knew!!!!

finding cory: Oh shit you’re right

bethy: smh cory

finding cory: My bad

bethy: YEAH YOUR BAD

bethy: mar mar dear don’t worry about it we 100% support you

finding cory: Of course we do, Merric is a lovely boy

ellie ann: ohh i’ll tell him you said that he’ll be so smug

marfy: i’m

marfy: i appreciate that, but how on earth did you know??

marfy: i wasn’t that obvious, i hope…

bethy: oh honey pumpkin

finding cory: Well…

marfy: oh my god.

ellie ann: sfgdgd this is so sad im laugginsg

marfy: hey, weren’t you being gay or something? let’s talk about that. please.

ellie ann: oh alright fine!!!

ellie ann: so…….. nyna amirite everyone

bethy: wait you mean nyna taorata???

bethy: thats the girl you like??

ellie ann: yeah,,,, ik its embarrassing but

bethy: no not at all!!! i was actually best friends with nyna’s aunt, i love them!

finding cory: “Friends”

bethy: if you don’t shut your bitchass UP

ellie ann: oh my god

ellie ann: mom did you fuck nyna’s aunt

ellie ann: mom did y ou im seweating

bethy: …no comment

chads only chat (1:42 PM)

im not like other girls * im worse * has gone online!

im not like other girls * im worse *: guys i think my mom fucked princess nyna’s aunt

horsegurl uwu: damn i knew your mom had mega chaotic bisexual energy

pantherchaser2001: damn I owe Merric ten bucks now

zuko todoroki: you guys bet on my mom’s sexuality?

zuko todoroki: ,

zuko todoroki: not again.

windy man, take me by the hand~: SGHKDHGDS

windy man, take me by the hand~: I WAS WAITYING FOR YOUT O LOG ON IM SCREAMING

zuko todoroki: oh my god.

zuko todoroki: how did caeda even steal my phone this time??

christal: she said you left it in ur room lmao

zuko todoroki: fuck me.

windy man, take me by the hand~: dhsjhdghs dw baby its not that bad

zuko todoroki: …

zuko todoroki: i guess so.

im not like other girls * im worse *: GUYS I FEEL LIKE YOURE GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT MY MOM FUCKED PRINCESS NYNA’S AUNT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

krystopher: i mean… is it really that surprising

im not like other girls * im worse *: I MEAN IT IS TO ME BUT

im not like other girls * im worse *: maybe im just a clown :(

windy man, take me by the hand~: damn can we get a honk for ellie

horsegurl uwu: honk

pantherchaser2001: honk

christal: honk!

im not like other girls * im worse *: thanks guys i feel so much better

windy man, take me by the hand~: anytime ellie :)

pantherchaser2001: hey where’d you come from anyways Marth?

pantherchaser2001: you weren’t online earlier

zuko todoroki: hm? oh, yes, i was out. sorry.

pantherchaser2001: nah its cool I was just curious lmao

jeroge: soooooo……. ellie ;)

im not like other girls * im worse *: YOU!!!

im not like other girls * im worse *: YOU FUCKING FUCKER!!!!!

jeroge: chskhfsfghsfgskgfbshfbhsbfhjs

windy man, take me by the hand~: Wait A God Damn Second What Happened

im not like other girls * im worse *: THIS BITCJ TRICKED ME AND NYNA INTO THINKINGN WE BOTH HAD TO TELL EACH OTHER SOMETHING

im not like other girls * im worse *: SO WE JUST SAT THERE AWKWARDLY BC NEITHER OF US ACTUALLY DID

jeroge: welllll technically y’all do so i didn’t actually lie lmao

im not like other girls * im worse *: STAY OUT OF MY RELTAIONSHIP FUCKER

jeroge: fine, fine. i just thought y’all could use a little nudge ;)

im not like other girls * im worse *: die

jeroge: sorry can’t die rn tryna get that epic victory in battle royale 8)

horsegurl uwu: damn almost as embarrassing as metric admitting he reads x reader fanfiction

pantherchaser2001: Cain I caught you playing League of Legends at 2 in the morning don’t even

horsegurl uwu: FCUKC



jeroge: my man abel coming in with the receipts like always god bless

horsegurl uwu: i hate it here

Chapter Text

chads only chat (2:34 AM)

windy man, take me by the hand~: i kick jiol beauregard in the nuts rt if you agree

horsegurl uwu: merric i mean this in this nicest way possible but i think your actual cause of death will be being shot

windy man, take me by the hand~: yeah thats fair

zuko todoroki has gone online!

zuko todoroki: why are you both up this early?

horsegurl uwu: bro i don't go to bed until like 4 whatchu mean lmfao

pantherchaser2001: Marth doesn't have a job he wouldn't understand

zuko todoroki: ?? i literally work for my dad.

pantherchaser2001: Cain tell Marth that his dad doesn't have a real job anyway

zuko todoroki: ...yeah i suppose so.

windy man, take me by the hand~: the way he just accepted it shdghss

chads only chat (6:54 AM)

WE'RE SOARIN', WE'RE FLYIN': wow

WE'RE SOARIN', WE'RE FLYIN': huh

WE'RE SOARIN', WE'RE FLYIN': i havent slept that good in mf YEARS

windy man, take me by the hand~ JESUS CHRIST I WOULD FUCKING HOPE SO

windy man, take me by the hand~: YOU SLEPT FOR ALMOST 16 FUCKING HOURS

zuko todoroki: merric why are you still awake?

zuko todoroki: merric. did you pull an all nighter again

windy man, take me by the hand~: i havethe right t remain silent anything i say can and WILL be used against me

windy man, take me by the hand~: ANYWAY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT CAES LACK OF SELF CARE NOT MINE!!!

WE'RE SOARIN', WE'RE FLYIN': jesus god fuck WHAT

WE'RE SOARIN', WE'RE FLYIN': MERRIC YOU THREATJED JIOL BEAUREGARD ??

windy man, take me by the hand~: NO IT WAS A JOKE I PROMISE

horsegurl uwu: i stand by what i said btw you are definitely going to get shot one day

light em up up up: probabky sooner than we think lmao

zuko todoroki: what does that mean?

windy man, take me by the hand~: SHUT !! THE FUCK UP LINDE!!!

light em up up up: no bitch this is what you get for not telling me about your fucking EX BOYFRIEND

zuko todoroki: his what now

horsegurl uwu: HIS FUCKING WHAT?!?!?

pantherchaser2001: E

windy man, take me by the hand~: LOOK LINDE I ALREADY SAID SORRY

light em up up up: SORRY DOESNT FUCKING CUT IT SHITHEAD

krystopher has gone online!

krystopher: the fuck you bitches on about this damn early in the morning

krystopher: wait

krystopher: MERRIC YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!?!

windy man, take me by the hand~: NOT ANYMORE GENIUS THATS WHAT THE WORD "EX" MEANS

krystopher: oh damn by bad

WE'RE SOARIN', WE'RE FLYIN': IM FUCKING CRYING WHAT IS GOING ON

christal: merric spill the tea bitch!!

light em up up up: yeah spill the tea merric

windy man, take me by the hand~: actually like go kys right now please

light em up up up: thats not very nice mera :(((

pantherchaser2001: yeah Merric we can't say that remember?

windy man, take me by the hand~: eat my entire ass abel istg

windy man, take me by the hand~: how about kys /j

windy man, take me by the hand~: is that better

pantherchaser2001: hmm I would say so but Mr Jagen would think differently now wouldn't he? Red card bitch!!!

light em up up up: wait what??

christal: jagen doesnt like it when people tell each other to kay why ess for some reason

krystopher: "for some reason"

christal: bruh you literally say it to me all the damn time??

krystopher: we're siblings that makes it Different

christal: NO IT FUCKING DOESNT??

horsegurl uwu: no no, she's got a point 

pantherchaser2001: this is truly wild, I never thought Merric would get bitches before me

horsegurl uwu: thats because your ugly

pantherchaser2001: that’s not what your mom said last night, but okay Cain

horsegurl uwu: WHAT THE FUCK

christal: i think the funniest part of this is abel pretending he likes women

pantherchaser2001: I AM NOT GAY KRYSTAL

pantherchaser2001: there’s nothing wrong with being gay

pantherchaser2001: BUT I’M NOT

christal: whatever you say buddy.

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: abel homophobe confirmed?!

the three stooges (7:17 AM)

im not like other girls * im worse *: alr i know you didnt want to in the main gc but spill.

windy man, take me by the hand~: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

windy man, take me by the hand~: okay so basically…… um. his name’s arlen….. ummmmmm……….

windy man, take me by the hand~: we met at khadein and like. idk. we became friends really fast and then dated and then he dumped me wont talk to me and i still dont know why :,) 

zuko todoroki: hm.

zuko todoroki: would you happen to know where he lives by any chance

windy man, take me by the hand~: MARTH YOURE NOT BEATING UP MY EX

zuko todoroki: i just want to talk to him

im not like other girls * im worse *: “i just wanna shoot him”

zuko todoroki: perhaps.

zuko todoroki: and i wasn’t going to be beating him up anyway.

zuko todoroki: that's elice’s job

im not like other girls * im worse *: oh for sure

im not like other girls * im worse *: this guy’s a dead man

windy man, take me by the hand~: this is wyh i didnt wanna tell yall you guys take shit WAY too seriously

windy man, take me by the hand~: besides it wasnt even his fault we had some serious shit going on at the time, it just was a bad situation all around 

zuko todoroki: if you’re sure.

im not like other girls * im worse *: as long as he wasn’t taking advantage of you.

windy man, take me by the hand~: you do realize im a grown ass man right?

windy man, take me by the hand~: like i really appreciate the concern and all but i am a 19 year old man

windy man, take me by the hand~ marth i am literally older than you

zuko todoroki: okay, by like three months.

windy man, take me by the hand~: but im being serious when i say im fine, it happened months ago lol im over it

im not like other girls * im worse *: ok i believe you but if i ever see him i cant promise not to beat him up

windy man, take by the hand~: ….i guess thats the best i can ask for

chads only chat (7:32 AM)

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: so anyway, thats the story of how i found out my grandpa had no nose

horsegurl uwu: so was there like

horsegurl uwu: just a hole on his face or

horsegurl uwu: like could he smell out of it

zuko todoroki: …what the fuck did i just walk into

krystopher: rip to your grandpa ig caeda but im different

krystopher: i would have just taped the nose back on

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: What, You Egg?

krystopher: (he stabs him)

pantherchaser2001: I can’t believe I’m wasting valuable sleeping time for this

horsegurl uwu: oh hey the bad time trio is back!

im not like other girls * im worse *: the fuck did you just call us?

windy man, take me by the hand~: yeah we actually prefer the three stooges 

light em up up up: so what were yall doing eye emoji

windy man, take me by the hand~: oh, You Know

light em up up up: ….no actually i dont know

im not like other girls * im worse *: we just threatened the life of merric’s ex boytoy, no big deal

horsegurl uwu: wait what

zuko todoroki: don’t be dramatic, elice, it wasn’t that bad…

windy man, take me by the hand~: marth you said that you wanted to drag his body through miles of broken glass and then break into his house and move every piece of furniture slightly to the right

zuko todoroki: …like i said, not that bad.

pantherchaser2001: remind me never to mess with merric goddamn

light em up up up: since i’ve been nothing but nice and and kind and sweet to merric i hope that one day when the lowell siblings murder everyone i will be spared

im not like other girls * im worse *: yeah dont worry we dont kill women

zuko todoroki: true!

WE’RE SOARIN’, WE’RE FLYIN’: waow… a true feminist… cain take notes!!

horsegurl uwu: WHAT DO I EVEN HAVE TO DO WITH THIS

pantherchaser2001: you know what you did, Cain

light em up up up: yeah cain

krystopher: i’m fucking crying why is cain the bus driver all of the sudden 

chads only chat (1:32 PM)

windy man, take me by the hand~: crushes are the worst y’all

zuko todoroki: completely agree.

windy man, take me by the hand~: its just like… whenever i get a crush on someone i act really stupid around them :/

zuko todoroki: you always act stupid.

windy man, take me by the hand~: YEAH.

windy man, take me by the hand~: don’t think about that too hard buddy

light em up up up: PLS

jeroge: well, good morning my beloved skrunklies!

zuko todoroki: it’s not morning

im not like other girls * im worse *: “skrunklies”????

krystopher: …beloved?

jeroge: and now that i successfully have your attention on me, i would like to make a proposition!

light em up up up: if its about the fucking furry larping thing again im going to block you

horsegurl uwu: the What

jeroge: ITS NOT

jeroge: ITS NOT ABOUT THAT

light em up up up: alright, carry on, then

pantherchaser2001: Cain always out here saying “wait what” or “the what” like mf pay attention

horsegurl uwu: you are actually such a fucking whore i hate you

krystopher: WOAH???

christal: this is why we call you a misogynist cain 

jeroge: ANYWAY

im not like other girls * im worse *: jeorge’s attention starved ass really cant stand it when nobody’s paying him attention huh

jeroge: yes its because my father is emotionally distant

zuko todoroki: …ouch.

jeroge: so as i said, i have a suggestion

light em up up up: mf SPIT IT OUT

jeroge: how would you all feel about have an extended shindig

windy man, take me by the hand~: what

jeroge: a party

jeroge: a ball

jeroge: a dance

jeroge: etc

jeroge: the archanean spring court meeting is coming up and i know most of your families will be there

jeroge: it’ll give us an opportunity to hang out in person

light em up up up: wait that actually sounds fire

im not like other girls * im worse *: where would this party even be?

jeroge: you dont worry about that, my dearest ellie

jeroge: i will take care of it

jeroge: all you guys have to do is show up

windy man, take me by the hand~: well it sounds better than sitting in a hotel room doing homework so

jeroge: exactly!!

zuko todoroki: you’re planning something, aren’t you?

jeroge: no!!

jeroge: well, perhaps

jeroge: but i do also really want to hang out with you guys!

horsegurl uwu: sure, why not

horsegurl uwu: abel, you wanna come with me?

pantherchaser2001: ya I’ll ask my mom if she’s okay with it

krystopher: im down

christal: same

jeroge: awesome!

jeroge: ill send more details later

jeroge: we’re gonna have a great time ;)

zuko todoroki: ….this isn’t going to end well, is it.