Archive of Our Own ^beta

Wilhelm sees him at the end of the table.

Alone.

There are empty seats in front of him, so without thinking twice, Wilhelm takes his plate and sits in front of him, stealing subtle glances his way.

But Simon seems to notice, so he tries to start a conversation before the silence becomes awkward.

“I didn't know you belonged to Forest Ridge,” says Wilhelm in a questioning tone.

“I don't,” he answers just as quickly.

“But you're eating with us?”

“Non-res kids have to eat somewhere,” he answers again, looking up and seeing curiosity in Wilhelms eyes.

Fair point, he thought.

He looks around, seeing other kids his age eating in their own little friend groups, but soon turns back to the boy in front of him. “Um, we haven't met properly, I'm Wilhelm,” he says while scratching his cheek, and Simon could only guess that it was from nerves.

“Simon.”

That’s a pretty name.

Feeling that that might have been the end of it, he tries to keep the conversation flowing, “I liked what you said back there, Simon,” he says quietly that Simon almost missed it, “Well said.”

“Okay,” he laughs, “Why didn't you say so in class?”

“Because I'm not…” he clears his throat, suddenly feeling self-conscious, “I'm not allowed to talk about politics,” is his final answer, finally paying attention to the food on his plate.

Simon laughs again, shaking his head and taking another bite from his food.

"So… where are you from?" he asks, wanting to know more about the curly haired boy. Ever since seeing him at the church, he felt this pull towards him; he didn't know if the word was intrigue, but it was certainly a force pulling him towards the boy who had the voice of an angel.

"Bjärstad," he answers with a smile, "how about you?" he asks back, keeping the conversation flowing.

"Stockholm."

Wilhelm feels like his hands are on autopilot while going through the food on his plate, his brain not thinking clearly, "I've never been to Bjärstad, is it nice?" Could it be because of the boy sitting in front of him?

"It's okay, just like any other hometown I guess, I'm used to it now. How about Stockholm?" Simon takes another mouthful, staring intently into his eyes, waiting for a response.

"It's nice, but it's always filled with people, whether it's locals or tourists."

"Well, it being the capital of Sweden I'm not surprised that it attracts tourists," he points out.

"Huh… good point."

Simon laughs again, this time showing his perfect white teeth.

Wilhelm scratches his cheek again, feeling stupid after Simon's smart -and logical- response.

What the hell was going on? Was this the feeling people usually got when making a new friend?

He opened his mouth to ask more questions when the other boy suddenly stood up, holding his now empty plate. "Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, your highness," he adds in a teasing tone.

Before Wilhelm could respond, he was gone.

xx

Wilhelm helped the two boys with the oars, placing them on the platform and leaving it to them to take the boat back.

He took a deep breath of fresh air and looked out onto the lake, seeing only one person left out on the tranquil water.

Simon.

He smiled, seeing the teen trying to balance the boat while simultaneously trying to get it near the platform to get off safely.

“Looking good, Simon,” he said encouragingly.

“Thanks,” he whispered, looking back and trying to figure out how to not fall into the lake and make a fool of himself in front of the blonde. He suddenly felt a presence on his left and looked up to see said blonde beside him, staring right at him.

"Don't worry about balance, you'll get the hang of it," he said while kneeling down, taking the oars from him, "Just make sure your strokes are as close to the surface as possible so as to not waste too much energy. But that's just something that comes with practice, you'll see," he adds with a wink.

"Thanks for the tip."

He hoped to god that he couldn't see his blush.

"Alright," said Wilhelm, holding onto Simon's arm, "you ready?"

He could only nod.

"On three. One, two, three!" He pulled him up onto the platform, but used too much force since they both almost fell backwards, making Simon yelp. Wilhelm quickly found balance while still holding Simon steady, his arms already wrapped around his waist protectively.

The brunette felt his heartbeat quicken, tightening his hands on the other boy's shoulders for comfort. "You okay?" asked Wilhelm in a whisper, loosening his arms and placing his hands on his waist instead, slightly lifting his shirt up and feeling the warm skin underneath.

He heard a gasp, not knowing if it came from the other's lips or his own.

Simon glanced up into his eyes, seeing Wilhelm staring right back at him with an intensity he's never seen before.

With no control, he glanced down at his lips, feeling his breath against his own now and using all his strength to try and resist kissing him.

"I-I… yeah, yeah. Thanks for the save." 

"Don't mention it."

He removed his hands from the back of his neck -when did he move his hands there!?- and backed up before he did something stupid.

"I'll just… take this back," he turned around and tried picking up the boat.

"Let me help," said Wilhelm, moving onto the other end of the boat to lift it up together.

The boat was easy to lift and carry with two sets of hands, now it was just a question of walking a couple of minutes with it to put it away.

They started walking up the hill in complete silence, their footsteps and heavy breathing the only thing they could hear.

Well, Simon's head was certainly not silent.

Don't fall for him.

He wanted to go back, he wanted to stay longer in his arms.

Don't fall for him.

He wanted to feel his breath on his lips, and maybe press them against his.

Don't fall for him.

He wanted to hold his hand, run his hands through his hair.

Don't fall for him.

But it was a losing game... because he already did.

xx

Wilhelm couldn't stop thinking about him.

His mind was replaying the moment over and over again; how his skin felt so soft under his fingers, his breath so warm against his lips… 

For the last few hours it was all he could think about, there was nothing that could get his mind off the boy.

His room felt suffy, even though he had his window open to let the cool breeze in, so he decided to head to the school, taking his backpack with him.

Maybe doing homework would help.

Doubtful.

When he arrived he saw Felice and her friends on a table beside the lockers, their books occupying the whole table. He saw an empty table near them and sat down, taking out his books and decided to start with the chemistry homework.

But before he could finish his first equation, Simon and Sara walked through the doors, the latter turning towards the girls table and sitting with them.

He looked up and saw Simon standing next to him, his body language shy and reserved, his hands swaying against his body.

"Is this seat taken?"

It took him a second to register what he had asked him, his mind still foggy because of the boy, "N-no, no one is sitting here…" words failed him so he just moved his hands in a "please sit down" gesture.

How the hell am I supposed to do homework now?

The only reason he came here was so that his thoughts weren't clouded with him.

He took a deep breath and tried focusing on the chemistry book in front of him… again... reciting formulas in his head to try and drive his mind from the boy sitting a few inches from him.

He felt his anxiety starting to kick in, so he took out a piece of gum and put it in his mouth before it became too much. After a few seconds he felt himself relax, feeling calmer and more focused, but before he could put the packet away he offered Simon some, thinking it would be rude if he didn't.

"Gum?"

Simon looked up surprised, "Oh, no thanks, I'm good."

Why did it feel like he was just punched in the stomach?

He retrieved his hand and put the packet away, shaking his head and refocusing on the book in front of him.

He checked his expensive watch, seeing that an hour already had passed and he had barely finished two equations, clearly too busy stealing glances at Simon, who was currently doing his homework as he should've done; but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

In his opinion any time staring at Simon was time well spent.

“I'm going to the library,” he exclaimed suddenly, getting up and packing up his things.

Because what Wilhelm didn't know was that Simon was struggling just the same as him. The blonde was being quite subtle with the glances, but he could feel those eyes burn through him everytime he looked. It was driving him insane, so the only thing he could think of was going somewhere else to work, figuring there wouldn’t be anyone at the library that would make him as nervous as Wilhelm.

“Okay,” he whispered, the blonde looking like a kicked puppy, “but uh… I'll see you at practice later, yeah?” he asked hopefully.

“I can't make it tonight.”

What?

"Why not?" asked Wilhelm, trying to seem casual and not at all devastated that he might not see Simon for the rest of the day.

"A friend has got a game and I'd promised I'd go."

"Oh... okay," he looked down, staring at his pen that he was twirling in between his fingers.

"You're welcome to come," he says with a smirk, confidence surging through him. He stared right into his eyes, as if daring him to go.

Wilhelm bit his lower lip, knowing that blowing of rowing practice was going to be a big fucking deal, but right now… he couldn’t care less.

He knew what he wanted, what would make him more happy.

"Okay, I'll go."

Simon nodded with a smug smile, pursing his lips, "Cool, I’ll send you the details later. See you, Wille."

And for the second time, he saw Simon leave before he could answer.

xx

Wilhelm couldn't stop smiling.

He was back in his dorm room after spending the whole night in Bjärstad… with Simon.

He could still feel his fingertips tingle from his delicate touch when they were on the back of the motorcycles, their hands grazing, shouting out into the cold midnight air.

He never felt that free in such a long time, which was kind of fucked up, but he wouldn't trade it for anything.

He entered his room and took off his jacket, sitting down in his bed and leaning against the wall.

He suddenly felt a small pang in his chest, right in his heart, making him frown.

What the hell?

Did… did he miss him?

Did he miss his presence? His touch? His voice?

He shook his head, telling himself that he was being stupid and took out his phone.

He checked his social media to distract him, and also to not let his fingers tipe out a message to Simon at this hour, because his heart was certainly on board with the idea. Thank god his brain was the rational one.

Why the fuck did he miss him so much?

He opened Instagram and saw Simon's profile at the very top, making him stop breathing all together.

Why am I feeling like this?

He saw that he uploaded a reel, so he clicked on it, not knowing what to expect.

But it certainly wasn't him.

It was a video of him at the football field, cheering on the team and his friend.

He held his breath, not sure to feel flattered or embarrassed that Simon thought of filming him and posting it on his account.

Following the short video were a few photos of the match, mostly of Rosh with the ball, and then the final one was taken from a distance, a photo of him talking with Ayub and Rosh. It was a nice photo, but what made him do a double take at the image was the caption.

Great night at Bjärstad💜

A heart.

He added a heart.

Why would he put a heart there? Is it something he always does? Or could it be for Rosh for winning the match?

His mind was running a hundred kilometres per hour, creating different reasons in his head for why he would put that godforsaken emoji there.

In the end, he decided to respond to the photo privately; right after taking a screenshot of it, obviously.

"It really was a great night, thanks for showing me around Simon-" he paused there, his finger hovering over the heart emoji, seeing it slightly tremble from anxiety.

What the hell am I doing?

In the end he bit the bullet and added the heart at the end, pressing send before he could second guess himself.

He closed his phone and placed it on the bed, chewing on his nails and feeling his heart start to speed up. He rubbed his hand over his chest and focused on his breathing, trying to calm his mind.

In just a few seconds, he felt his phone vibrate.

He quickly picked it up and saw that it was a message from Simon.

Simon: It was my pleasure :) 💜

A heart.

He added a heart.

Again.

The anxiety from earlier dissipated, now feeling a calmness wash over him.

He felt a smile overtake his face yet again.

Should he answer right away? Or perhaps wait a few minutes?

In the end he just settled with a goodnight text, short and simple.

Wilhelm: Thanks again! Good night, Simon 💜

Placing the phone on the desk, he turned off his red lights and lied down facing up, staring at the white ceiling above him. He had a million thoughts going through his mind once again, all revolving around the same person, but they weren’t making him feel nervous this time, they made him feel… safe, warm.

His phone vibrated.

He picked it up and opened it in a hurry, eager to see what he responded with.

Simon: Good night, Wille💜

Oh...

Butterflies invaded his stomach.

He felt like laughing and screaming at the same time.

With a huge smile on his face, he finally put his phone down and turned around, snuggling deeper into his bed and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

Simon… what are you doing to me?

He already knew the answer, but that didn't make it any less scary.

xx

Wilhelm was on cloud nine.

He just spent the night -morning?- with Simon… in his dorm room.

Kissing... 

And among other things that still made him blush when thinking about it, but still smile widely.

Even though it was ten degrees outside he never felt so warm, like he was still snuggling against Simon's chest. The second time he woke up that morning the sun was glowing in his room, leaving a cozy orange atmosphere inside, and making the other boy look like an angel sent from heaven.

He wanted to stay there all day, but Malin reminded them that there was breakfast; and consequently, school.

He saw a couple of students walking on the grounds outside Hillerska, making their way to class, even though there was an hour left until the first lesson.

They must be going to the library.

He made his way down the path, basking in the morning fresh air, smiling like a lovesick fool.

He turned to the left and saw Simon on the bottom path, strolling and looking right at him. His smile widened and he held up the sandwich for Simon to see, but he only saw the boy shake his head in confusion, brows furrowed.

Such an idiot… but a loveable idiot.

He then saw him motion with his hand to come join him, the smile never leaving his face. He picked up his pace and in a few steps they were walking side by side.

“Hey," he whispered with a shy smile.

“Hey," answered Simon just as quietly, but with a smile that matched Wilhelms.

"Here's your breakfast," he said clearing his throat, hoping that he would like what he prepared for him. He handed it over, noticing that Simon's cheeks were redder than before.

It was probably from the cold...

"Thanks," he whispered, unwrapping the sandwich and biting into it. "Mmm… this is really good."

Wilhelm perked up at that, "Really?"

Simon nodded, still munching on his breakfast. "I mean, it's not the traditional breakfast," he laughed, "but it's nice."

Thank god.

He was so nervous that it would taste vile and that Simon would have laughed at him for it.

"I'm glad."

They walked a few minutes in comfortable silence, leaving room for Simon to finish his first meal of the day.

Once finished, he tucked the green tissue in his pocket to throw away later, since there weren’t any bins near them.

“Want to keep walking?” he suggested, “Maybe take a stroll to the lake?” he added, touching the beanie on his head self-consciously.

Wilhelm very rarely saw him this shy, but when he did all he wanted to do was wrap him up in his arms and comfort him.

But then he saw his hand dangling beside him, following the movement of his body as he walked.

Before thinking about it too much, he reached down and took his hand, interlocking his fingers with his. Simon looked up surprised at the bold move, but soon smiled and let out a small chuckle.

Wilhelm laughed with him, glad he could comfort him like this. “Common,” he said, squeezing his hand and pulling him along towards the lake.

They arrived in just a few minutes, seeing the lake in the distance, the morning sun reflected on the motionless surface.

Not a single soul around them at this time of day.

"It's really beautiful here in the morning," said Simon, still holding tight onto Wilhelms hand.

But the other boy's stare was somewhere else.

He couldn't stop staring at the brunette standing beside him, thinking that there wasn't anything that could compare to his beauty.

I think...

"Yea, it's beautiful," he whispered.

I think I love him.

He felt his heart beat faster, happiness overcoming all his sences.

He gathered his courage and took Simon by the waist and made him turn, so that they were both looking at each other. Before Simon could ask what was wrong, he felt a pair of lips crash against his own.

He gasped at the forwardness, bringing his arms up and wrapping them around his neck, kissing him back with the same level of enthusiasm. 

Wilhelm hoped he could show what he felt for him with this kiss, or the next few kisses.

He wanted to shower him with gifts, use endearing pet names, cuddle with him all night long… he wanted to have a life with him, spend all day every day with him.

If this is what love feels like, he never wanted to stop.

Before the kiss would become too heated, they separated. Leaning their foreheads together, their lips barely grazing each other.

“What brought that on?” asked Simon, still breathing hard and feeling his head spin. He opened his eyes when Wilhelm didn’t answer, finding him staring right at him, his eyes gleaming with fondness.

Oh…

“Do I need to tell you?”

No, he didn’t...

He moved his hands to the back of his neck, running his hands through the small blonde hairs.

Wilhelm leaned down and kissed him again, tightening his arms around Simon's waist.

He didn’t know how long this could last, knowing that when his mum - the queen- would find out she would prohibit it.

But he would find a way, because for the first time in a long time, he could be himself.

Simon showed him what affection, trust and love was. He accepted him.

And when he wrapped his arms around him, he felt like home.

Simon was his everything, his home.

And he would spend the rest of his life making him feel the same.

Because he loved him, and nothing would change that.