Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"... So close to breaking point. Why does it matter if I do it or not?"

"We've gone over this a million times already and I'm starting to get tired of having to repeat myself, just do it already!"

"Fine, whatever Mr Angy"

Remus quickly darted from the room before the orange side could respond and found himself face to face with Janus.

"Hey DJ Anus, long time no see. Been getting all buddy buddy with everyone up there?" He asked.

Janus frowned, able to easily pick up on the bitterness in Remus's tone and the accusatory glare he was getting.

"I was not getting 'buddy buddy' with them so to speak, I was doing what was required of me"

Remus snorted in disbelief and barged past him.

"I don't remember you being told to get so friendly with Patton, why the two of you look like you're on the right track to being friends almost."

Janus grit his teeth and turned to watch as Remus began to stalk down the hall away from him, trying to think of something to say in response.

"It makes things easier in the long run." He tried and held back a wince as Remus paused and threw his head back in a derisive cackle.

"That's hilarious, you should really take up comedy or something, I bet with his puns and your hilarious lies you and Moralitits would make a great comedy duo. A real double act."

Remus's tone turned mocking as he spoke, a scowl on his face as he locked eyes with Janus but quickly turned away when he'd finished, eager to get away.

Janus sighed quietly to himself and shook his head. He'd known his actions were a little impulsive and not as well thought out as usual but he thought that in the long run it would help the plan Orange had been working on for so long.

He sighed again as he recognised his words for the lies they were.

He couldn't help it. For some reason he couldn't help but want to fit in with the light sides and just exist in their space.

Patton had been a ray of sunshine towards him nearly the whole time which was certainly a relief from the hate Virgil spewed but Janus could take it.

He more than deserved Virgil's anger and, though he hated to admit it, he'd missed the purple trait.

Roman was a bit of a sore spot for him, he'd been tasked with targeting him and it had helped progress the plan but Janus's personal experience was now stranded at a locked gate of his own making.

He recognised the genius behind Orange's plan but there was a part of him that wished their tactics didn't have to be so underhanded and manipulative.

He could imagine that if things had happened different then he'd probably spend a lot of time conversing with Logan on different topics and perhaps even helping Roman with theatre stuff and improv.

He shook his head, he couldn't afford to start thinking so ridiculously. Things weren't like that, it was too late for that to be close to a reality.

A throat cleared behind him and he turned to see Orange with his arms crossed, leaning against the doorframe of the room Remus had come out of before.

"Deep in thought there. Care to share what's got you so distracted?"

Janus shrugged. "Nothing much, just wondering why Remus is getting so stressed when he has the easiest job."

Orange laughed "oh don't give me that bullshit, we both know you're clearly not as into my plan as you used to be."

Janus quickly opened his mouth to try and deny it but Orange suddenly lunged forwards so their faces were inches apart.

"Don't insult my intelligence Janus, I know you, you're enjoying the summer vacation up with Them and Thomas but you seem to be forgetting that that's a temporary thing, eventually it'll come to an end and you'll be back where you started so you'd best start acting like it."

He tried his best not to let his true emotions show but from the expression on Orange's face Janus knew he'd not quite managed it.

"You've done a beautiful job so far of spreading distrust and doubt but I know you're only doing the bare minimum, you're holding back because of some silly notion that you'll actually be accepted by Them. Well here's a news flash for you, that's not going to happen! You're a liar and a textbook villain to them and no matter what that is how things will always be!"

Unable to help himself Janus muttered something about Patton which unfortunately Orange heard due to how close the two traits were still.

"Patton? Ha! Don't make me laugh, that idiot won't accept you. Oh he may say he will in order to keep up his 'kind and loving' reputation but deep down he doesn't really want to."

Orange laughed cruelly at the uncertainty on Janus's face and turned to go with one last remark.

"Just do as I've said and everything will be fine. Why don't you go give Remus some reassurance, he seemed to think you were abandoning him for 'happy pappy Patton' or something"

The door slammed shut behind Orange and Janus shuddered, he did a very convincing impression of Patton's voice which just felt wrong coming from him.

He frowned a little as he realised Orange's comments had some merit to them and quickly headed off after Remus to reassure him he wasn't being replaced.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remus clenched his fists as he paced back and forth trying to figure out a way to make Logan snap but all he could think about was Janus and his sudden close relationship with Patton.

Just thinking his name caused Remus to kick the wall, leaving a dent.

Janus had to go and befriend the one trait who hated Remus's very existence, the one trait who was the absolute opposite to him.

Remus wished he could do the same, befriend the person who was always truthful and disliked Janus's lying ways but unfortunately he had a job to do which clashed with that.

Logan.

How Remus wished things were different, but the nerd was close to breaking point and apparently he was the one to give him a little push, according to Orange.

Remus wasn't sure if it was a compliment or just another of Orange's tactics to keep him from pulling a Virgil.

The idea was tempting but he knew Orange's reaction would be bad and, although he didn't care about physical bodily harm that much, Orange still scared him.

He let out a frustrated grunt and flopped against a wall, overwhelmed by the amount of conflicting emotions running rampant through his head.

He thought about Logan, how he was the only one of The Others not disgusted at any of the things he'd said or done, how if Remus did do what Virgil did then the logical trait would be his greatest ally.

He put his head in his hands with a groan, irritated at the fact he was expected to break Logan for Orange to get a foothold.

His irritation grew as he realised Logan wouldn't be such a target for Orange if The Others just paid more attention to Logan, heard him out more and actually followed his advice.

If anything Remus breaking Logan could result in Orange's plan being successful but he could see a way to twist it to his own benefit.

Logan clearly needed a friend, someone who would actually listen, maybe Remus wouldn't have to worry about Janus and Patton so much if he also had someone else to hang out with.

He pushed himself away from the wall, his brain already weaving ideas for Operation Logan Needs Better Friends So How 'Bout Me.

Remus shook his head at the name and was about to head to the imagination when he heard the sound of Janus approaching.

It was obviously him as Orange wouldn't bother to seek him out and Janus likely wanted to discuss the conflict they'd just had but Remus was already over it.

"Remus? How are you doing?"

Janus's voice was hesitant and gentle like he was talking to a cornered animal and Remus couldn't help himself.

He lunged forwards towards Janus and clacked his teeth together in a mock bite, letting out a wild laugh when Janus flinched slightly.

"Don't flatter yourself Janny boy, I wouldn't bite you. Logan however..." Remus trailed off with a thoughtful look before laughing again at the way Janus's jaw clenched.

"I... I came to see how you're doing as I know it's been a while since we've spoken or spent time with one another."

Janus stumbled over his words which Remus counted as a victory.

"Finally remembered I existed? It's alright trouser snake, I'm used to being forgotten. If that's all you came to say then could you scram? I gotta lotta work to do."

A slightly pained look crossed Janus's face for a split second before it was replaced with the calm indifference that was his usual expression.

"I didn't forget you, I've just been busy. Maybe we can catch up after you've finished whatever it is you need to do?"

To anyone else it seemed like a lackluster response but Remus knew Janus well enough to recognise it for what it was.

An apology and a plea.

Remus considered taking him up on the offer but he was feeling a little vindictive. Let Janus see how it feels to be ignored in favour of one of The Others, let him start feeling like he's being replaced.

"No can do snakey-poo, like I said, I'm really busy, in fact I must be going now, lots to do."

Remus gave Janus a grin and a wave before bounding down the corridor and through the door to the imagination where they both knew Janus would never follow him.

Janus waited until the door shut behind Remus to let his hurt and despair show, an uncomfortable feeling curling in the pit of his stomach at the potential idea that he and Remus may not make it past this hurdle.

Janus sniffed and cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the lump that had formed in it.

Everything was fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan was really doing his best, giving Thomas schedules and organisation tips, but it always seemed to fall flat and not have an effect.

Sure Thomas would follow it for a bit but eventually be it a day or a week later it would all be forgotten for something deemed 'more important' whatever that meant.

He tried to get Thomas to see that implementing his ideas would make things easier in the grand scheme of things but it was hard going, especially when he was constantly undermined by everyone else.

Virgil wasn't so bad but Patton and Roman were awful for bringing up something else just as Logan had gotten through to Thomas.

They all knew the man was easily distracted and yet, it always seemed that when Logan was trying to impart useful knowledge, or get him to start up a healthy habit, one of them would come barrelling into the conversation and destroy Logan's hard work.

Logan pushed his frustration away and instead focused back on the schedule he'd made for Thomas.

This time he was sure Thomas would stick to it, he'd been the one to suggest it so surely he'd stick to something he himself had thought up?

Logan wilfully ignored all prior evidence that that was a ridiculous thought as Thomas had proven that wrong time and time again.

As he went through the usual motions of trying to motivate Thomas he felt a strange prickling on the back of his neck, an uncomfortable feeling that had no source that he was aware of.

He ignored it and continued but the feeling didn't disappear like he'd hoped, it just grew until Logan found himself unable to keep his eyes from darting around for the reason he felt so on edge.

He shook his head at his own ridiculousness and took a few calming breaths, successfully regaining his usual composure and ridding himself of the weird feeling.

Suddenly he found himself face to face with a knife wielding Remus.

Logan's raised eyebrow in reaction was what Remus was expecting and sure enough there it was, a far cry from the shrieks of terror other sides would respond with.

"Remus." Logan acknowledged, his voice level as always making Remus grin.

"Don't you get bored of it?"

"I... What?" Logan stuttered slightly, confused at the sudden question.

"Don't you get bored of being so prim and proper? So calm and composed?"

"I have no idea what you mean or where you're going with this but I..."

Remus immediately began singing over Logan's words, turning away to dramatically collapse onto the couch, pointedly ignoring what Logan had been saying.

"I don't have time for this nonsense, I have things I need to..."

Remus sung louder and started doing a drum solo on pots and pans he'd materialised, once again cutting off Logan.

Logan sighed and tried to focus back on the schedule he'd been going over and found his mind still stuck on trying to figure out what Remus had been talking about.

He frowned at that as he knew better than anyone that Remus came out with things just for the sake of reactions and didn't always mean anything so him dwelling on it was pointless.

Remus had reached a crescendo at this point and suddenly threw the knives he'd been using to drum up into the air carelessly.

They clattered down where Remus had just been but he was nowhere to be seen.

Logan glanced around, slightly distracted by his sudden disappearance as it could only mean he was up to something.

"Ow, mother bitch!" Remus suddenly yelled from behind Logan, who turned around to see Remus with a knife in one of his shoulders.

"Well if you hadn't thrown them then you..."

"It's not really the knife that's the issue, it's that I didn't manage to dodge it quick enough. My reflexes are far too superior for a little knife to get the better of them!"

Logan grimaced as Remus pulled the knife out and threw it across the room, throwing an arm across his face dramatically.

"Oh what a cruel world! This poor artiste barely scraping by with knife tricks and his just as sharp wit. One would think he'd be capable of a silly little trick but alas, times are tough and mistakes are made."

This was definitely one of the stranger ways Remus had distracted him, but Logan was determined to get back to helping Thomas stay on track with the new schedule they'd agreed on together, so he turned away only for Remus to suddenly appear in front of him.

"Look, I understand that maybe you have plans, and it's been annoying you that everyone seems to always brush you off, but..."

Remus cut Logan's words off by holding up the schedule Logan had been holding and flicking through it with feigned interest.

"Well isn't this juicy!" he exclaimed, throwing the notepad onto the table, where it revealed there was a doodle of a butt, causing Logan to take a slow deliberate breath as he witnessed his carefully written out plans underneath the doodle.

Remus could sense he was getting close to what he'd been asked to do and quickly turned away from Logan in favour of sitting upside down on the sofa.

"Remus, I know you're probably fed up of being pushed into the background, especially as you are a part of Thomas and as such are important and deserve to be listened to, but right now is not really the time for you to intervene, Thomas is actually taking the time to organise things and tidy, which isn't an easy thing for me to convince him of. So if you could maybe..."

Logan's words were so full of truth Remus almost forgot what he was supposed to be doing but quickly feigned falling asleep in an obviously mocking way.

"Remus I'm trying to.."

A large exaggerated yawn.

"Could you just..."

A stretch and rubbing eyes, pointedly ignoring Logan.

"Stop ignoring me!" Logan suddenly yelled, his eyes flashing a vibrant orange and his voice full of all the repressed rage he'd clearly been bottling up for ages.

Remus sat up the right way and looked at Logan with a feral grin.

"Well hello. Now that's more like it. I would recommend you think about who you actually want to shout that at though. Toodles"

With a cheeky wave and his usual feral grin Remus sunk down, reappearing back in his room where he let out a large sigh and collapsed onto his bed.

He'd successfully done as he'd been asked but he felt he'd also sown the right seeds to make Logan see what was happening to him and who's fault it really was.

If Logan was as smart as Remus thought he was then it wouldn't take too long for the pieces to fall in the right place.

That's when Remus would approach him with a proposition, one that would benefit the both of them.

Chapter Text

Logan paced back and forth in his room like he'd been doing for the past hour since Thomas had once again had something 'more important' show up.

He was trying not to be too hurt by it but it was like another small push given to a glass on the edge of a table, it can only take so much before it falls and shatters.

With a sigh he threw himself down onto his bed and stared up at his ceiling, wilfully ignoring the moisture building at the corners of his eyes that ever so slowly began to trickle down the sides of his face.

Every single time he tried to get Thomas to enact something useful or necessary it would fail.

Unfortunately he was actually able to remember how many times, as that was part of his role and the numbers just enforced the hopeless feelings that were starting to overwhelm him.

A choked noise left his mouth as he tried to hold back a sob.

Everything he did was starting to feel pointless and he couldn't even talk to the other sides about it because they were part of why his efforts were usually discarded.

Another sob broke free.

They were just as responsible for his current situation as Thomas, more so as they usually influenced Thomas to ignore his points.

He put a hand over his mouth to muffle a third sob and realised he was shaking.

With difficulty he took a deep breath and forced himself to stop crying, something he found himself doing more often.

Sitting up and maintaining deep even breaths, Logan thought over what had happened that day.

Remus's words replayed in his head.

"I would recommend you think about who you actually want to shout that at though."

The anger he'd felt bubbled up a little as he thought more on it and realised Remus had a point.

His anger wasn't with Remus and honestly he didn't think he could be angry with Remus at all, considering he was the one side who probably knew exactly how Logan felt.

"Don't you get bored of being so prim and proper? So calm and composed?"

More of Remus's words raced through his mind and Logan frowned as found himself agreeing. He was so sick and tired of being pushed aside in favour of whichever other trait shouted the loudest.

Why should he sit back and stay quiet as the others used flashier tactics to get their own way?

Another sigh left his lips as he came to the realisation that he didn't have much of a choice in the matter and he'd probably be doomed to continue as he'd always been.

Unless...

An idea suddenly struck Logan.

Remus was very good at making himself heard, even if nothing he said or planned was actually taken into consideration. He'd even managed to distract Logan of all people which wasn't an easy feat.

Perhaps that was the way Logan could figure out a better way to get through to Thomas.

Spurred on by this idea he did something very unlike himself and made an impulsive decision and left to go find Remus.

He wasn't sure of where Remus would be at that exact moment but he wandered the halls of the mindspace anyway, making his way towards the so called 'Dark Side' where he assumed he might find him.

15 minutes later Logan found himself outside of a dark green door that had a sort of sheen to it that implied either slime or stickiness.

Reluctantly he knocked, grimacing at the tacky texture that made him want to wash his hands, but before he could dwell too much on that the door was flung open and he was pulled bodily into the room by his tie.

"Logie! Come in, pull up some floor!" Remus greeted him with a grin.

Logan raised an eyebrow at the nickname and looked around to find somewhere suitable to sit only to pause when Remus literally pulled some of the carpet up.

"I..." He started only to get cut off as he was tugged to sit on the floor and found himself sitting opposite Remus who was staring at him unblinkingly.

"So, what bring you to my ass of the woods?" Remus asked.

At first Logan opened his mouth to comment on Remus's comment but decided against it and instead said. "I've actually been thinking about what you said earlier today."

Remus tilted his head to the side with a slight crack noise but didn't reply.

"You were somewhat correct with your observations and I also want to apologise for shouting at you when you didn't deserve it."

Remus blinked at that and his eyes carefully scanned Logan's face, taking in the redness of the eyes and the still shimmering tear tracks that he'd neglected to wipe away.

"I wouldn't say that Bitter Bookworm, I have a habit of pissing people off, but if it makes you feel better I'll accept the apology."

Logan was confused at how calm Remus's voice was but brushed it off as he instead focused on the reason for his visit.

"I also came here because I'm truly at my wits end with being ignored and I thought who better to go to than the one person who's succeeded in distracting me of all people." Logan explained.

Silence followed Logan's words as Remus took the time to really inspect the logical trait and found himself genuinely feeling sympathetic for him.

His thoughts drifted to Orange and the task he'd been given to break Logan. Clearly he'd succeeded but seeing him like this just felt wrong and not in the way he usually enjoyed. He knew that was probably was because it wasn't a scheme of his own, he was being ordered around by someone else.

There was no real reason for him to listen, other than to avoid conflict, but was that really worth it?

Weighing up his options Remus quickly came to a conclusion.

All of Orange's plans to control a broken Logan could be shoved up the angry traits ass as far as Remus cared. It wasn't like he owed him shit anyway.

"Practice what you preach Teach."

Logan blinked in surprise as Remus broke the silence and sent him a look of confusion.

"You're repressing stuff even though you literally told Thomas not to do the same thing. Take your own advice." Remus said, his tone serious as he stared Logan down.

Logan spluttered "What? I'm not..."

Remus lunged forward and grabbed him by the shoulders so they were nearly nose to nose.

"Logan. You can't fool me. Now let it out."

"I... I'm sure you don't want to..."

Remus sighed and pulled Logan into a tight hug with a muttered. "I'll listen, just let it all out."

There was a few moments of hesitation but eventually Logan broke and Remus squeezed him harder as he sobbed, giving him the support he so desperately needed.

The two of them sat that way for a while until Logan finally lapsed into silence with only the occasional hiccup or sniff.

"Feeling any better?" Remus asked.

"Maybe." Logan replied quietly.

Remus rolled his eyes at the noncommittal response but didn't call it out, instead he pulled back, conjured up some tissues and handed them over.

Logan took them and blew his nose, a small embarrassed flush coming to his cheeks at being so open and vulnerable in front of someone.

"You don't need to be ashamed of your emotions you know?" Remus said, still resting a hand on Logan's shoulder.

"They get in the way."

"No, you just don't feel comfortable feeling them around the other chucklefucks because you're scared they'll make fun of you or take you less seriously."

"How did you..."

Remus sighed again and looked him in the eyes. "Why do you think I know that? You're smart, figure it out."

Logan's eyes widened as he picked up on what Remus was implying. "But you always seem so carefree and unbothered."

"Right and how do you think Moralitits or Broman would react if they were asked about your capacity for emotions? Do you think they'd be accurate?"

"I suppose not. That still doesn't explain how Deceit doesn't pick up on yours."

A brief flash of sorrow crossed Remus's face mixed with something Logan couldn't distinguish but he was distracted from it by Remus's response.

"Perhaps because he doesn't take the time to read any deeper into anything I do or because I play the part too well."

"But it's fundamentally a falsehood."

"Yes, but it's more complex as it's a combination of different kinds. Omission, character and exaggeration. I'm also a phenomenal actor." Remus said with a grin.

Logan eyed him carefully, trying his best to figure out if the grin was genuine or not.

"That's a false grin."

Remus's grin widened for a second before he let it drop, letting his expression settle into something more real.

"You're already miles ahead of everyone else. Now, you came here for my help didn't you? You want me to help you get through to Thomas and stop being ignored?"

"Wha... Yes, I did." Logan cut off his original question as he recognised that Remus likely wouldn't want to discuss anything too personal and he had come here with a specific purpose.

"First, walk me through exactly what it is that makes him ignore you." Remus said, already knowing but wanting Logan to admit it out loud.

"Well, most of the time I can get through to him to begin with but then something he deems more important usually comes up and whatever I'm trying to do or say gets pushed aside."

"Ok, but why? What's your theory for why Thomas finds other things more important?"

Logan took a deep breath before speaking. "Because everyone else tells him so and he'd rather listen to them, because most of the things I say aren't exciting or interesting enough to keep his attention."

A frown crossed Remus's face as Logan put his head in his hands and felt his anger and frustration with the 'Light Sides' building.

Constantly pushing aside Logan's contributions for their own selfish reasons was not acceptable and he could see why Thomas's mental health had started to suffer. Not so much that it was noticeable to any of the others but Remus had always had a deeper understanding of it due to what he did.

The plans Orange had were likely going to make things worse so Remus was glad he'd decided to stop playing along, but he also knew that something as big as this would require more than just himself and Logan.

He'd have to talk to Janus.

Scowling at his conclusion he wondered if the deceitful trait had gone running back to Patton after their argument earlier but quickly pushed that thought away, he had Logan to help right now.

"The others are the problem." He said, nearly snorting when Logan looked up at him in shock.

"How..."

"They're selfishly putting their own desires first and aren't taking the time to recognise the importance and necessity of your contributions. They are excluding the voice of reason and logic which they should know from past experiences is not good for anyone, least of all Thomas."

Logan was surprised at the conviction in Remus's voice and felt his eyes prickle slightly at the knowledge he actually had someone listening to him for once.

"They need to wake up and start paying attention or things are going to get worse. Which is why it's a good thing you came to me when you did because I have a plan. Unfortunately for the plan to work I'll eventually have to enlist the help of a certain trouser snake, but right now our biggest focus is going to be building back up your confidence."

"My confidence?"

"Don't tell me your confidence hasn't been shaken by everything that's been going on, all the disappointments?"

Logan sighed at that and nodded, knowing his current state was worse than it had been in a long time.

"Right, I'm going to do something that will only help in the short term but it should last long enough for you to do enough work to be better in the long term." Remus said, taking a deep breathe as he prepared himself for what he was about to do.

"What are you going to do?" Logan asked cautiously.

Remus grinned. "I'm going to take away all the negative things you've been thinking about yourself, all the insults and comments you've internalised from others so you're back to your typical self but without all that mental shit."

Alarm crossed Logan's face. "Wait, won't that affect you badly?"

"Nah, the insults and negativity is about you so it won't affect me like that. Besides I'm used to worse stuff on the regular." Remus replied, trying to ignore the spark of happiness he'd felt at Logan's genuine concern for him.

"I don't think that's a good thing." Logan said with a frown. "Additionally no one should be used to getting insulted everyday to the point that things stop affecting them."

With a dismissive wave of his hand Remus brushed Logan's concerns aside and instead put his hands on either side of Logan's forehead, his eyes staring unblinkingly as he focused.

Logan shuddered at the strange sensation in his mind and tried his best not to worry about how the process would affect the trait in front of him.

After a while there was a snapping sound, like an elastic band breaking, and Remus released Logan's head and keeled over backwards with a string of curses.

It was as if a weight had been lifted from Logan but he didn't dwell on that as he instead checked on Remus.

"Are you alright?"

"Never better." Came the slightly slurred response that Logan didn't believe for a second.

"Remus, I don't want you to lie to me about this, are you ok and can I help?"

A heavy sigh left Remus's lips as he struggled to sit upright and sent Logan an attempt at his normal grin but it faltered slightly as he saw the genuine worry across his face.

"Ok fine, it hurt like a motherfucker but it's nothing I can't handle. I just need to acclimate to it. Oooh big words, that's fun."

Remus giggled to himself slightly at that but took a deep breath to help himself refocus.

"Ok, now that's taken care of you should probably go sleep. It's pretty late and you don't want to be a hypocrite do you?"

"I suppose not, but will you be alright?"

Their eyes locked and Remus spoke in the most sincere voice he could. "Logan I'm going to be fine, I'll contact you when the plan is in motion but for now you need rest. You've been through a lot today."

Reluctantly Logan allowed himself to be escorted out of the room and with one more concerned backwards glance he set off back to his own room.