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Notes:
i offered to write a thing for TheSassyLorax because she wanted a gamtav fic that didn't have gore or anything in it. and well. i decided to do it??? i did this in a week and it's super unbeta'd but you know what??? i'm tired and my normal beta doesn't read homestuck do i didn't want to bug her. idk whats up with this font laterz
When you’re with Gamzee you always feel warm, always have a blush from something they’ve said or done, always feel like something in your blood pusher was set alight, which you think is funny considering Gamzee’s hands are always cold as ice.
You’ve offered to try and make gloves for them, but they always refuse. You’ve tried to get into knitting, sewing, even drawing now that going outside frequently isn’t an option. You love the outdoors, always have, and it hurts you someplace deep in your chest that you can’t go out anymore, someplace that you don’t think anything else can reach. Gamzee doesn’t fix it, but they make it better.
You don’t actually know how they managed to get all the way to your hive, but they did, knocked on your door a week after you got your four wheeled device, covered in dirt, looking tired and hungry, but when they entered you room, with Tinkerbull following closely behind, they had a smile that made it seem like nothing bad could ever happen. You worry about them, though, but they also worry about you quite a bit.
It’s kind of nice.
You aren’t all that skilled at getting around in your four wheeled device, it’s new and fickle and you never realized how much stuff you just leave lying around until you had to have a clear pathway to move and couldn’t just reach down and pick things up. Since Gamzee arrived they have spent many hours picking through things and sorting them, and has made many piles around the hive, out of the way. Your favorite one is the pile of unused Host Plushes, it’s not as big as some other piles but it’s definitely the softest. Whenever you want to lay down in it Gamzee lifts you out of your four wheeled device and carried you to it, placing you down gently as if you were the most precious thing in the world. You can get in and out of your device with only minimal hassle, but you kind of like the way Gamzee carries you, holding you close to their chest and carrying you so that one of their arms is under your knees, the other cradling your back. You have spent many hours curled up in piles with Gamzee, giggling as they tell you jokes and when they tickle your sides. They tend to wrap around your body, like some sort of vine around an unmoving pole. Their arms go around your chest, their long, thin legs tangle with your now unmoving ones, and sometimes they put their head on your shoulder and start to nod off. You don’t mind, even though Gamzee’s hair is long and tangled and goes pretty much everywhere, over your face, tickling your nose, sometimes a few strands get into your mouth.
You are quite sad when it turns out Gamzee has to make the long trek back to their hive, but you suppose their lusus might be concerned, even though they insist it isn’t that big of a deal - Gamzee looks a sad when they say that, like they had accept a the fact but it still stung. You understand the feeling and ask if Gamzee could come back another time. Their whole face lights up behind what’s left of the face paint they brought, so you think you said the right thing.
The hive seems oddly quiet when Gamzee leaves. You suddenly miss having someone to talk to - actually talk to, face to face. Tinkerbull is great and all, but it’s not the same- and having someone to play your games with you. Gamzee even managed to help you outside a few times, pushed you along in your four wheeled device, over bumps and hills. You forgot how nice it was to be out, and you’re tempted to go outside by yourself but you don’t know if you can handle it just yet. The prospect sounds nice, but terrifying.
Gamzee messages you when they get to their hive, a few days later, and even though they just left, you want to ask when they can come back. It turns out you don’t have too, because Gamzee, with their ever so whimsical typing quirk, asks if they can come over again in a few weeks. The message is barely up for ten seconds before you reply with an excited, “yES!!”
---
The next time Gamzee comes over they bring more than just their husktop, the clothes on their back and a few bottles of faygo for the trip. Their sylladex is full of things they would miss from home, and even is carrying a bag when you open the door (you’ve been camping in the lower floors of your hive for the past few days, not knowing when exactly Gamzee would arrive) and you hope it means they’ll stay longer this time.
You’re better at getting around now, and need less help, but it’s still nice to see Gamzee concerned without acting like you’re a defenseless wriggler. You’re not defenseless, no matter what Vriska says, with her perpetually bitter attitude. You think she may not be as cool as you once thought, and Gamzee agrees with you, adding that she kind of scares them a bit. They say that maybe you should stop talking to her, that she had some nasty vibes, and you think that maybe they’re on to something.
You make all the meals when Gamzee is around, since they don’t know how too. They act like it’s the most miraculous thing in the world, someone cooking for them, and you think that’s a bit sad. One time you offered to brush their hair, it was covered in knots and tangled so bad, you thought it would have to be cut, and the look Gamzee gave you almost made your bloodpusher crack in two. They don’t talk too much about their lusus, but you get the idea that maybe the Ol’ Goat, as Gamzee calls him, wasn’t the best at caring for wrigglers. You don’t like thinking of it, and you doubt Gamzee likes to talk about it, so you don’t ask and they don’t bring it up, but with the way they hug you almost tightly and hold on for a long time, you think that they’re healing along with you, albeit from vastly different things.
---
One day you wake up later than usual and are quite surprised to see that Gamzee is not lounging in a pile or hanging out somewhere in your room. You’re pretty sure GAmzee wouldn’t get into too much trouble, so you take your time getting out of the recupearcoon and getting ready. After getting into your four wheeled device you begin looking for Gamzee, but you feel no sense of urgency. Sometimes they like to be alone for a while - as you do too - and you know that they have problems voicing their concerns and emotions, so sometimes they have to sort it out themselves or just plan how to bring it up. It’s not too big of a deal when Gamzee runs off for a bit, but you still want to know if they’re okay.
Maybe you should try asking Karkat what Gamzee thinks about when they disappear for a few hours, but Karkat yells at you a lot and if you think about it you’re not entirely sure if he would know either.
It ends up being that you don’t have to entertain the thought for long because you find Gamzee dancing around in your living room. It’s quite a sight really. They have almost no coordination, mostly just a blur of flailing limbs and a dark cloud of hair thrashing about. There’s music playing from their husktop but you can’t hear it very well over the noise Gamzee is making.
It’s cute. It is really cute, and you have to cover your mouth with your hand to stop laughter from coming out. Gamzee looks happy, jumping around like an animal, almost tripping over their too long pants. They’re smiling, you can see, and their eyes are closed, and they just look so incredible happy. You don’t remember the last time you saw them like this, but you hope you’ll see it again soon.
After a few minutes they start to slow, then stop, panting and giggling when they see you.
“Enjoy the show, Tavbro?” They ask, and you nod and laugh. Gamzee smiles at you, then frowns, “It’s a fucking shame you can’t join in.”
You just shrug and say, “It doesn’t matter, you looked like you were having fun.” because really, you don’t mind anymore. You think that maybe someplace deep and remote it may bug you when you’re alone, but you’re used to it now.
But still, Gamzee’s frown stays on their face. It’s the frown they wear when they’re thinking, and it stays in place almost all day; as you watch movies and when you have a papping session and until you’re about to go to sleep and they say, “Hey, I think I’m gonna do some ‘venturing tomorrow, that cool?”
Of course you’re cool with it, and the next day Gamzee leaves a big wet kisses all over your face before they leave and says, “I’ll be back in a motherfucking flash, you won’t even miss me.”
They’re gone for a few hours, and you do miss them a bit - you spend your time talking to Nepeta and watching movies - but they come back covered in dirt and scratches and flops down nexted to you on a pile and tells you that tomorrow they want to show you something.
They push you through the door and across the lawn rings around your hive. They didn’t tell you where they were taking you, but they brought their husktop. You have a lot of fun going to whatever they want to show you, since Gamzee decides they’re gonna push you the whole way, and ends up spinning you in circles randomly. They make frequent stops to point out things that they think look cool, and almost half the day is gone by the time Gamzee tells you that you’re almost there, so you have to close your eyes. When you open them you’re looking at a pond.
You used to play in it a lot, Tinkerbull taught you how to swim in it, even though it’s not very big. You don’t know how deep it is, since you always stayed closer to the shore when you were a wriggler, and after a while it just didn’t interest you anymore.
“Uh, why are we here?” You ask. Gamzee looks very proud but their mind works on a different wavelength than yours.
“Because I want you to dance,” they say, already pulling things out of their sylladex, “And I know you can’t just up and start movin’ and groovin’, so I brought you here.” They pull out some spare clothes and towels, and you’re still a bit lost.
Gamzee helps you wrestle out of your shirt - pulling it off over your horns has somewhat of a science to it - and takes theirs off too. They hook an arm around your knees and you lean forward so they can wrap an arm around your back. Once they have you in their grasp, they begin walking into the pool of water. It’s cool, but not cold, but you doubt that either of you will want to stay in it long. When the water is up to Gamzee’s shoulders, they let go of your legs.
You flail a bit, slight panic registering, but they keep a tight grip on your shoulders and your legs just slowly sink so that they’re below you. For a few minutes you both stand there; you slightly floating and holding on tightly to your friend’s shoulders. It occurs to you that this is the first time in - what has it been? A sweep? - that you’ve stood straight up and for some reason that makes your bloodpusher clench. You have to take some deep breathes and Gamzee shooshes you, nuzzling their face into your hair and they start to sway side to side. They’re taller than you, so your feet don’t even brush the bottom of the pond, your body just following wherever Gamzee’s tells it too.
You realize that this is what Gamzee meant, wanting you to dance. You let out a small laugh, but it sounds jumbled and choked. Gamzee kisses your head and keeps swaying. After a while you start enjoying yourself more, and Gamzee spins around, and tries to jump.You think they’ve forgotten about music, since their husktop remains untouched on the shore, but it’s nice all the same. Eventually you both get cold and Gamzee carried you out and sits you on the bank. They pass you a towel, and began tugging off their pants to change. You blush a bit.
You end up getting back to your hive and falling asleep on the first pile you reach (it’s the Unmatched Socks pile, and you question why it’s so big). Later when you tell Nepeta about it, she’s silent for a second then types, “:33 <*ac tells her kind furrend that there has b33n a slight change to the shipping wall.*”
Aradia just asks if you were safe and says she’s glad you had fun. You tell Vriska but she just makes fun of you for a minutes, before you decide to disconnect. You think that you’re done with her. She’s really not as cool as you once thought.
You and Gamzee try to time a movie to watch with Karkat, but it seems that he pressed play about a minute before you because as he’s angerly keysmashing you are just watching the begining of the scene. You think it’s funny and you laugh a lot. Gamzee does too and you wonder if the rest of your life can be as simple and happy as it is now.