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"Midoriya.. why" Shinsou chokes out, tears brimming in his eyes as he sees his- his only friend at gun point.
"I'm sorry.." Izuku says tiredly. that's not an answer. "I'll c'me back" he mumbles. Huh. He feels dizzy.. is he dying already?
"No.. no no no p-please" He begs as he hears the gun being shot. He can't look, he can't watch.
--
Shinsou stops counting abruptly and snaps his head towards Midoriya and stares at him. He wants to scream at the greenette, wants to hug him, he doesn't know what's going on.
But he watched him die. He watched die and he couldn't do anything.
"Midoriya.." Shinsou swallows thickly, his throat feels closed up and he's almost positive he's crying pathetically.
Midoriya hums quietly, it comes out shaky, like he was shiving. He sat, looking down at the ground where he trembled with anxiety.
"What.. what the fuck?" Shinsou says quietly. "Look at me, Izuku." Shinsou comands harshly.
He doesn't.
He continues to stare at the ground, his breathing shallow as he feels the familiar sting in his eyes. He wasn't supposed to remember. This wasn't supposed to happen.
Shinsou needs Izuku to look at him. To prove to him that he really is alive, that there isn't a bullet through his skull, his eyes dull and dark and so, so dead.
"Look at me! Why won't you look at me!? Please just! Please... why won't you look at me.." He cries, his voice nearly a whisper at the end.
He doesn't know if it was seconds or minutes, but he finally looked up at Shinsou. His eyes were dark, like they held the biggest secret, and didn't they? They're filled with tears and guilt, his lips trembling and hands shaking.
Suddenly, he wished he hadn't looked.
Izuku brings his gaze back to the floor, his eyes are gone just as fast as the came. He's rocking back and forth. He feels trapped, stuck.
"It's.." he exhales, his breath hitching at the end. "It's not what.." he swallows thickly. He can't finish his sentence. How was he supposed to explain this?
Shinsou doesn't realize he can't breathe until he feels something touch his hands, pulling them away from his hair. He flinches back at the contact. "Don't touch me!" he yells, his eyes shining with unshed tears that he oh so desperately wishes would spill out.
"I-I'm so.. sorry, Shinsou... so sorry" Izuku cires quietly, the last sentence coming out barely a whisper.
Shinsou doesn't respond, just looks down at the ground with a glare that he can see from the shiny floor. Or maybe it's just that dull. He doesn't know, he doesn't care. His face morphs into disgust at the reflection and a sob rips through his throat mercilessly. God he's so pathetic.