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"You okay?"
That was the first thing Jeremy asked Christine. He had been looking for her for ten minutes when he didn't see her at play rehearsal, and after a bit of panicking, he finally found her backstage, lying down on the floor face up, arms and legs sprawled out. It almost looked like she was trying to make snow angels, but instead of snow it was dust, and she had her cheeks puffed out in thought. (Christine sitting or lying down on the floor wasn't an uncommon occurrence. When asked about it she could give a dramatic monologue on not feeling like it was necessary to think about what is or isn't a chair, or simply shrug and pat the ground to say, "Floor is friend.")
Christine heaved a heavy sigh and shook her head, not saying anything. Jeremy awkwardly sat himself down next to her. He'd never seen her so... quiet. Or still. It was like she turned down her volume and brightness settings, which were usually turned to the max. "Where's, uh, Mr. Reyes?"
"Hot Pocket break."
"Ah, right." A beat of silence. "Did something happen?"
Christine sighed again and raised her left arm to make a fist and shake it in the air. "Stupid pep rally. Well, the pep rally isn't stupid, it's a celebration of school spirit and togetherness and blah blah blah, but it's a money stealing attention grabber, which is worse than being stupid."
Jeremy drew his eyebrows together, feeling like he was missing a lot of context. "Did, uh, did the pep rally try to steal your lunch money? Sounds like Rich a few months ago. Heh. Sorry, dumb joke."
She pursed her lips together, which Jeremy has come to recognize as a sign that a big ramble was coming, though this didn't seem like a happy one. "The upcoming production falls too close to the pep rally, and our school's funds are limited! So they're gonna pick the event that we do every year the same boring way, and which only gives appreciation to sports, sweeping all other extracurriculars under the rug. No, why would they fund the play? They never do! They never did before because there were few members, and not much gained in ticket sales, or at least that's the excuse they went with until a play finally got raving reviews! So they find an excuse to crush it just because it doesn't involve people throwing around a stupid BALL!" Christine took in a deep breath and after a beat, tacked on "Sport balls aren't stupid either. Bleh."
"Wait, they canceled the play?" Jeremy's voice squeaked, ready to march to the principal's office himself (before changing his mind and simply being angry in silence).
"Nooo," Christine whined, "But now our budget is cut in half when it was already so small! And I wanted us to do Little Shop of Horrors so bad! We'd be lucky to have enough money to even put on 21 Chump Street. BLEUGH."
"I thought you liked 21 Chump Street?"
"That's not the point, I'm just... I don't know."
"Uh, mad? Sad?" Jeremy paused in thought. "Smad?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I'm smad."
"Well, at least the play isn't canceled, that would've really been bad."
Christine finally sat up, puffing out her cheeks again. "I guess..."
Jeremy gulped. She didn't look like she was feeling better. "And, and! 21 Chump Street would be a really fun show to put on! And we can always do Little Shop next year. Or if you really want to do Little Shop, we can maybe make a fundraiser, or—"
"I know, Jeremy, I know it's not the end of the world or anything, but I'm just upset. I'm allowed to be upset." She frowned, not looking Jeremy in the eye.
There was an awkward beat before Jeremy spoke up sheepishly, pulling at his jacket sleeves. "I'm sorry. I... I don't know how to make it better. Or how to make you feel better."
Christine sighed and took his hand. "I know. And I appreciate the gesture, it's just... I'll figure it out later. Right now I just have to let myself be smad. If you try to cheer me up right now I'd just be ignoring my bad feelings, not feeling better. I just gotta ride it out until then. Does that make sense?"
Jeremy bit his lip in thought. "So, you don't want to fix things right now, because you know you'll figure it out anyway? And you gotta wait for the smad storm to pass?"
She shrugged. "It sounds kinda childish when you put it like that."
He shook his head fervently, holding her hand with both of his. "No, that makes sense. You can't change the weather but you can wait for the storm to end on its own, and then you can look at the damage."
Christine gave him a soft smile, and he returned it, giving her hand a squeeze. Then, without a second of debate, Jeremy flopped onto the floor. "FUCK the pep rally," he proclaimed.
He heard Christine giggle before flopping down next to him. "Yeah, fuck the pep rally!"
"Doing the same thing as every year? Totally lame."
"We put on a different production each time, so you always get something new! The pep rally couldn't even dream of it!"
"Completely wack."
"Unradical."
Eventually, Mr. Reyes returned, not questioning why Jeremy and Christine were lying down on the floor and making different "nyoom" sounds at each other (the conversation had drifted at one point). They did some improv exercises with everyone, though Jeremy kept an eye on Christine as much as he could. She seemed a bit deflated at first, compared to her usual self at least, but as rehearsal went on she seemed to smile wider and move more freely, ending her final improv exercise by giving Brooke a piggyback ride and neighing energetically. Jeremy couldn't hold back his smile looking at her just be so... her.
After rehearsal, Christine declared that if Newsies had taught her anything it was to not take shit lying down. "I'm like Jack and Katherine molded into one! And you're Davey! And the pep rally is the raise in papes, which makes the principal Pulitzer. We gotta set things right!" Which is why later they were both hunched over Jeremy's kitchen table deep in thought, brainstorming ways to improve the play's budget. Scattered across the table were several messily scrawled notes, half-assed calculations, and mediocre doodles.
"What about a Kickstarter?" Christine said before puffing her cheeks. "No, that wouldn't work."
Jeremy chewed the back of his pencil with fervor, deep in thought. He muttered "C'mon," repeatedly before sitting up a bit straighter. "Maybe like, a bake sale or something? People like bake sales."
"Yeah, but we might end up losing more money than we make." She groaned and buried her head in her arms, flopping down on the table. "My brain is going to explode."
He poked her with his pen before realizing he'd been chewing on it and that was gross. "Um, we can take a break? Recalibrate. Maybe monologuing with uh, head voice for a little bit can help you like, clear your head?"
"I do enjoy a good monologue," she hummed.
"Yeah! How about, um... To Kill a Mockingbird? Or Angels in America?" He poked her with the pen again before throwing it on the floor in a panic because oh my god why did he keep touching her with a spit-riddled pen. "Or both! As many as you'd like."
Christine lifted her head slightly, eyes unfocused. "Both."
"Great! Um, which one do you wanna do first?"
"Both!" Christine sat up straight in her chair, still staring off into the distance. Jeremy blinked, puzzled.
"Like. Simultaneously?"
"BOTH!" Christine clapped, finally looking directly at him, her eyes practically twinkling. "It's perfect!"
Jeremy nodded knowingly, having no idea what was going on. "Yes. Very perfect."
"The pep rally," she held up one fist, looking at it pointedly. "The play," she held up her other fist before smacking them together. "Both!"
Jeremy nodded again, a little less lost. "Like, combining them?"
Christine pointed at him and nodded vigorously. "We perform AT the pep rally! The budget can be allocated to us as well, and that way we'll have an audience in the bag!"
Jeremy felt his mouth open into a solid O as he finally caught up to Christine's train of thought. "Yeah, that could work! We can ask the principal and plan something out."
Christine punches the air in front of her victoriously. "YES!"
"It's a really good idea! You're so smart."
"I know!" Christine said giddily before pausing for a moment. "Wait, does that sound egotistical? i meant it in a totally humble way."
Jeremy scooted his chair closer to Christine's, putting up reassuring hands. "You don't have to apologize, that was a really smart solution and you deserve to be happy about it! You're so smart and nice and I love you—r idea!" he choked out, face flushing red at record speed. "Your idea is uh! Really great! It— it's the best idea ever! Ideas are great, love ideas!" He finished off with a painfully forced laugh, his hands clenching.
Smooth save, a voice in his head said, in a tone that made it clear it was not a save at all.
Christine's smiled softly at him and reached out for his hand. "Don't freak out, it's okay if you say it." Jeremy felt his soul leave his body before Christine continued. "I like you a lot, Jeremy. Like, a lot. You're funny and supportive and wahoo!" She made a Mario sound, smiling widely before her expression sobered slightly. "I just might take a bit... longer to say it. Not because I don't feel it or anything but... I wanna make sure that I say it because I want to say it, not because I'm supposed to or feel I have to."
Jeremy looked down at the floor, guilt pooling in his stomach. Or because something makes you say it, he thought. "I–I'm... I'm sorry."
"Hey, it's okay, I don't mind you saying it! It makes me all bzzzz inside, in a good way."
Jeremy felt his face flush red again and he nodded shakily. "Okay, yeah, I just— like, I don't want you to ever feel, um, forced or like, pressured into anything you don't— aren't on board with yet? Like— uh, no pressure. And no, um." He tapped his temple hesitantly.
"Thank you. For getting it and not making me rush into it." She squeezed his hand meaningfully before leaning in conspiratorially. "I mean, you were gonna sacrifice yourself for my autonomy, I think it evens out." She stuck out her tongue at him and he giggled, snorting accidentally. She imitated his snorting sound and added a motorboat noise for good measure, and he retorted with a variety of bops. After a few seconds of this, they ended up positioned with Jeremy's head on Christine's lap.
"Hey, Jere," she stage whispered. Jeremy looked up at her with wide eyes.
"Yeah?"
"Can you say it again?"
She saw the blush rise up from his neck, almost drowning out the red bumps of acne that adorned his face before he let out a nervous laugh.
She was pretty sure that she felt it. And she knew she could take all of the time she needed to be ready. In the meantime, it made her happy to hear it.
"Um. Yeah. I, uh, I— I love you. Like, kind of a lot." He swallowed nervously and gave her a small smile. "You okay?"
She smiled down at him, her cheeks warm. "Yeah. I am."