Archive of Our Own ^beta

Yahaba takes one of his earbuds out. Despite the music, he's sure of the words he just heard. Still, “What do you mean we won't play tonight?” he asks, the other earbud promptly following.

He can already feel the irritation creeping over his shoulders. He can't help it. He’s a correct person, polite and well-educated if you ask his parents, but impulsive and a bit stubborn in case his bandmates are asked to describe him. Yahaba is aware that his temperament tends to come out more than he wants to, but hearing that they won’t play that night and that therefore he’s spent more than twenty minutes fixing his hair and choosing the ideal outfit to captivate the public not only with his voice, but also with his image, leads him to decide not to put any obstacle to the blossoming of his true personality.

“There’s a new ban—”

“I don’t care.” He interrupts Ennoshita, and while Ennoshita continues to watch him without frowning because he’s a patient person and they both consider each other friends, Hanamaki's hand finds his shoulder to push him aside.

“Okay, I'll talk.” He tells him, and looks at Ennoshita before asking, “What do you mean we won't play tonight?”

The fall of Yahaba's shoulders gives rise to the silent sigh that makes its way past his lips.

“I texted Oikawa-san saying you were invited to come but not to play. Didn't he tell you?”

One fleeting look with Hanamaki is enough for both of them to stop looking at Ennoshita. They turn their heads to find Oikawa sitting on one of the stools closest to the bar, totally unconcerned and making sure his shirt doesn't have any wrinkles.

“Oikawa.”

Along with his best smile, Oikawa asks, “Yes, my dearest Makki?”

“Could it be that you forgot to tell us that we weren't supposed to come today, huh?”

“I didn't forget. I don't see why we shouldn't come if we always play here.”

Yahaba wishes he could get mad and shake Oikawa by his shoulders, but if he considers him more than his bandmate it’s because he understands Oikawa, and actually, he’s not at all surprised with his answer and his carefree attitude. However, he doesn’t waste time trying to avoid laughing when Oikawa complains after getting his head smacked by Hanamaki, though he’s quickly distracted when Ennoshita takes advantage of the sudden distraction to gently grab Yahaba's arm and attract his attention.

“Look, you can stay and I'll offer the four of you a round of drinks, but a new band has asked to play here tonight, and you and I know we don't have an explicit contract where only you and your band play.” Ennoshita reminds him.

“I know, I understand now that it wasn't your fault.” Yahaba accompanies his words along with a surrendered sigh. “What's the name of the band?” He doesn’t hesitate to add, as there must be a good reason why Ennoshita has chosen to give the space to a new band instead of again allowing them to perform. Just as he considers Ennoshita more than the owner of the bar where they usually play, Ennoshita doesn’t think of him as the singer of the band that frequents his business, but as his friend.

“Wolves.”

“Seriously?” Ennoshita can't help but chuckle and Yahaba rolls his eyes. “Do you really hire someone like that?”

“Look, I heard they're good. Give them a try, why not?”

“So? We will play?” Oikawa interrupts them before Yahaba can express that no, he doesn’t intend to offer the new band a try.

“No, because you forgot to tell us.”

He admires Oikawa. He maintains a good relationship with all the members of the band since otherwise they wouldn’t be able to perform together, but if there’s someone that Yahaba admires, it’s Oikawa. Anyway, he sticks his tongue out at Oikawa when Oikawa frowns and wrinkles his nose after hearing him. "But Ennoshita said he will buy us a round of drinks." Yahaba adds.

“I'm fine with that.” Hanamaki adds.

“I didn't really want to play anyway.” Kunimi says, already installed on one of the bar stools.

"Makki! Kunimi-chan! Don't give in so easily!” Oikawa complains. With his arms crossed, he taps his foot on the floor.

“I could be somewhere else if you had told me, I'll take the drink too.” Yahaba says before walking away from him. He takes a seat on one of the bar stools and rest his elbows on the bar.

“My pride!”

“We know.” Hanamaki pats Oikawa’s back, that gesture being all the comfort he plans to offer him.

Offended but surrendered, Oikawa copies them after sitting between him and Hanamaki.

The place is quite full, the tables are occupied and only the stage is free. Yahaba sighs at the thought that that night they could have played again, or that he could have stayed at his apartment if Oikawa had decided to notify them of the change of plans. The frustration is noticeable on his face, so he’s not surprised once Ennoshita happens to be on the other side of the bar to give him his typical gentle smile.

“Hey, come on, at least give them a chance.”

Yahaba considers himself a good person. He’s a college student and helps his classmates in case those need help, he takes care of his younger brother in case his parents ask him to, and agrees to take part in sudden rehearsals when Oikawa, Hanamaki, or Kunimi feel they need a little more time to polish their own tunes. But giving a chance to the band that for that night has taken the focus away from them would mean crossing the limits of his goodness.

However, the drink that Ennoshita leaves in front of him could help him.

“Sure.” He agrees after allowing the bitter taste of the vodka to travel down his throat.

Ennoshita shakes his head, already used to his personality. Not at all surprised with the glass that now remains empty. “You have to pay the next one.”

Yahaba sticks his tongue out at him but Ennoshita nods toward the stage, and Yahaba can't help but stay serious after turning around. Four guys are already there, and one of them takes the microphone. His hair is dark brown and spiked-up, his tanned skin contrasts with the white color of his shirt. He looks handsome. Yahaba won't say it out loud.

“Hello, good night, we are Wolves. We are new around here, we hope you like our music.”

“I refuse because of my morals but oh my, I for sure like those muscles.” Oikawa does admit it out loud.

Yahaba avoids laughing at his comment and when Oikawa complains after being nudged by Hanamaki.

“You are literally betraying the band for a couple of muscles.”

“You would do the same.”

Hanamaki's prompt silence is his response, though he doesn't hesitate to add, “You're right. Oh my, those muscles. I wish he played drums, they'd show more.”

Yahaba chooses to inspect the rest of the band members. A tall boy with black hair and even more spiked-up hair is ready to play a keyboard. He looks nervous but he also seems to relax once the one who just spoke gives him a smile. Next to the singer, a black-haired boy holding an electric guitar stays distracted by fixing the final touches. Yahaba slides his gaze towards the drums but only sees the cymbals on the drums, as the drummer is sitting but leaning to the side to make sure none of the cables are in the middle.

“This song is called In the night.” The singer says, stealing Yahaba's interest.

Yahaba turns around as soon as he hears his words, and finds Ennoshita giving him a smile that means that he knows that he’s turned around only to not give the new band the satisfaction of showing his interest. He has no option, anyway, since the beginning of their song starts to sound and Yahaba doesn’t need to see them to hear the melody of the song. He looks at his nails, their light blue color, feigning disinterest and trying not to think that so far they seem to be in harmony.

Forming a band may seem easy, something you do from one day to the next, but Yahaba knows better. Being part of a band implies dedication and effort. Each of the members has their own lives and schedules, so every week they must seek to make a space in their agendas if they want their rhythm to be defined as pleasant and nice (“And catchy, Yahaba-chan!”) when playing in front of others. Yahaba always wants to perform with his best version and going out of tune is not one of his goals, so it’s important for him to be attentive to the band, as well as for the band to be attentive to him to accompany his voice in the right way.

With his elbows resting on the bar and leaning back slightly, Oikawa leans towards him. “They are good.” He whispers with his eyes on the stage, rather comments as the music forces him to speak louder than normal.

Yahaba casts him a sideways glance before straightening up and this time he does attention to the chords that surround him.

The first thing he notices is that the singer of the new band has a completely different style from his. Yahaba believes he has a soft voice, capable of reaching high notes that most can’t, while this singer has a deeper, raspy voice that goes along with the sound of the guitar and the keyboard. He can't help but smile as he manages to focus on the notes on the keyboard. In his band no one plays the keyboard, so hearing a new melody that he’s not used to catches his attention. But Yahaba knows that the most important thing is the drums.

It always is.

“Really good.” Yahaba agrees.

Hanamaki, always attentive to the conversations around him, adds, “I know they are good, but we are good too.”

After hearing him, Yahaba hides his face in his hands.

If both Oikawa and Hanamaki, and even himself, have loudly accepted that the new band is good, it must be because then they now have competition in the neighborhood. Yahaba wants to sigh but doesn't. Of all the neighborhoods, of all the bars, of all the possible nights, the new band had to run into them.

“Bored?” He hears Ennoshita ask him.

Yahaba straightens up and crosses his arms. He knows that probably the light blue glitter on his eyelids gives his image everything but seriousness, much more considering that that night he has decided to wear ripped and tight black jeans, a silver top and short white boots. But he doesn't care, and he still lifts his chin in defense.

“I refuse to show them that they are good.”

Entertained, Ennoshita smiles upon hearing him, but stops keeping his attention on him to cheer once the song ends and the rest of the people present at the bar do too. Yahaba thinks of staying still but Oikawa's elbow against his arm is enough to get him to applaud, without desire or energy, because as Oikawa always decides, pride is important but not that much either.

“We'll have a break and we'll be back, thank you.” Yahaba hears the singer say.

A break? Really? They only played one song—

“They're not tired, I just told them to play a single song first and then get off the stage to see if they're comfortable singing on it,” Ennoshita interrupts his train of thoughts and Yahaba grunts.

“You betrayed me.”

“I told Oikawa-san." Showing innocence, Ennoshita raises his hands. “Speaking of him...”

Yahaba looks to his side as Ennoshita does so only to bump into an empty seat, and as his gaze meets Hanamaki's, he turns his head after Hanamaki points his behind him. He catches a glimpse of Oikawa moving between the tables, and he’s not surprised after seeing him approach the lead singer of the new band.

“Traitor,” he says, regardless of Oikawa not listening.

“Knowing him, he’s probably thinking keep your friends close but your enemies closer.”

After hearing Kunimi's voice, Yahaba turns and finds Hanamaki with his eyes on Kunimi. “I bet you would.” Hanamaki says, and Kunimi wrinkles his nose, seeming to regret the mentioned words.

“Ennoshita our friendship is broken. You've ruined our guitarist,” Yahaba says.

Ennoshita laughs and shakes his head. “Yahaba Shigeru, I don't know anyone more dramatic than you.”

“Yahaba?”

Upon hearing his name, Yahaba turns his head to his side.

A guy with dyed blond hair, with two parallel black lines that forces Yahaba to blink so as not to be caught staring at the peculiar choice of hairstyle, stands in front of him. His eyes, outlined in black, watch him with attention but also out of curiosity.

“That's me?” Yahaba proposes, somewhat confused.

They stop looking at each other after Ennoshita clears his throat. “I'll get you a beer.” He says to the person who has appeared next to him, “Nice rhythm, by the way.” Yahaba arches an eyebrow at this but manages to decipher the situation after glimpsing an amused smile on Ennoshita's face.

Yahaba refocuses his gaze on his new company and assumes that the person who is speaking to him is nothing more and nothing less than the drummer of the new band, since he had seen the other three members from where he is and the person in front of him must be the fourth member, whom he had previously failed to criticize with his eyes after being busy fixing a cable. The energy that has just been played seems to still be on his body. Like him, he wears ripped black pants, but unlike him, he wears boots of the same color and a dark gray sleeveless shirt, torn on the sleeves with the image of a wolf's head in the center.

“Oh yeah, sure, thank you.” Yahaba is sure that he spies a tattoo peeking out from under his shirt but he blinks several times in a row after hearing him answer Ennoshita, and their gazes meet again once they are alone. “Sorry, Yahaba? Yahaba Shigeru?”

“Yes, that's me.” He responds, this time more confidently.

“Amazing.” The person replaces his confused expression with a lopsided smile and brings both hands to his hair in surprise. Yahaba doesn’t blame himself when his eyes again slide into his arms because more black lines are visible with that movement. “I can't believe— I'm sorry, don't you recognize me?”

Yahaba looks at him and tilts his head, narrowing his eyes but being sure he doesn't know him. “Mhm... no?”

The person in front of him holds a calm smile on his face despite his answer.

“I’m Kyoutani, Kyoutani Kentarou.”

Yahaba allows his brownish gaze surrounded by white eyeliner and light blue glitter to open wide in the low light of the bar, after hearing the name that had previously led him to think that drums are the most important instrument in a band, and therefore, the drummer the true leader of it although the singer usually declares themselves as such.

“Oh my— Kyoutani? Kyoutani Kentarou?”

“I just said that.”

To say that he’s surprised is an understatement.

Throughout his life, Yahaba has learned to get used to different cities and therefore different faces thanks to his parents’ jobs. With his father being part of the world of international relations and his mother part of the consulate, saving all of his belongings to move is a common action. He had been born in Miyagi, a relatively small city where people involved in the international world don’t usually settle, but his parents had wanted him to have a quiet childhood, away from overwhelming meetings and people with suits and briefcases. In Miyagi he had met Kyoutani, his neighbor, a boy of his same age who, like him, had shown interest in music from an early age, but while Yahaba had done so through imitating melodies and allowing lyrics to leave his lips, Kyoutani had made it by drumming his fingers on any existing surface.

“What? I can't believe it,” he says, and they soon find themselves looking at each other in the same way, without really being able to believe that at that very moment they are face to face. “You have changed so much.”

Yahaba guides his eyes to his dyed blonde hair along with two parallel lines, as he remembers Kyoutani with short brown hair. Their gazes meet and Yahaba can't help but smile after finding Kyoutani staring at him because they both know the opinion he has already formed about his hair on his head.

“You too,” Kyoutani assures him, and he travels him with his golden gaze.

Being part of a band means being used to attention, and much more when one of your bandmates turns out to be Oikawa Tooru, but at that moment, being inspected by Kyoutani gets Yahaba to bite his lower lip. Being part of a band also means always wanting to make a good first impression, so he hopes that the low lights in the bar highlight his figure and that the glitter on his face continues to stand out from his facial features instead of being all over his face.

“How long has it been?” Yahaba asks him, “Sixteen years?”

The last time he had seen Kyoutani, they were both seven years old. His parents had warned him that they would leave the small and quiet town of Miyagi to move to Shizuoka, since their jobs demanded them to and they believed that Yahaba was old enough to know that from that moment on, he would have to learn that being the son of important people means leaving the places you know, and therefore, the people you know as well.

“We were very different at seven,” Kyoutani says.

“You didn't have tattoos back then,” Yahaba chooses to mention.

Kyoutani chuckles when he hears him and looks at his own arm, with that reaction giving Yahaba the chance to confirm that a tattoo is probably interrupting the skin on his chest since only a few lines are seen outside of the sleeveless shirt that he’s wearing.

“You don’t have one? You were always a bit more rebel than me even though everyone thought the opposite.” Kyoutani asks him, and they both laugh because they know he’s right. Despite decorating his face with a serious expression, and even growling when someone said or did something that was not to his liking, Yahaba was the one to bite when an obstacle was presented. “I'm surprised you don't, you used to put stickers on your arms all the time.”

Yahaba holds a wide smile, remembering the time when he used to stick the stickers that his parents bought him on different parts of his body. He used to think they looked cool. His smiles grows after realizing that Kyoutani also remembers that detail. “I don't, but I do have an earring,” he says, and shows him his right ear to allow him to see it.

Kyoutani looks at it before looking at him. “It suits you.”

Yahaba smiles at the small compliment, and thinks how much they have changed. He assumes that it’s common, since after all, many changes happen over the course of sixteen years. He wants to believe that he’s no longer the same spoiled child as before, and that growing up has made him mature. Kyoutani smiles instead of frowning and staying serious. Both have stopped hiding in themselves to show themselves to others through their music.

They stop looking at each other after they both see Ennoshita rest a beer for Kyoutani and a drink identical to the one he had previously given Yahaba. Yahaba glances at him because he knows he hasn't asked for it, but Ennoshita winks at him before leaving them alone again.

“So, what are you doing here?” Yahaba asks him. “You left Miyagi too then, I guess?”

“Yeah,” Kyoutani lets out a small laugh at the obvious comment before taking a sip of his beer. “I moved to the big city. To study, not for music,” he adds, answering the question that had appeared in Yahaba's head. “You? It’s also weird... seeing you here. Do you study music? The last thing I knew is that you were moving to Shizuoka.”

The situation is an irony. Both are boys previously raised in a city where houses are more than buildings and are currently in the biggest city of Japan.

“I did move to Shizuoka, that was the last time we saw each other,” Yahaba remembers himself saying goodbye to Kyoutani. At seven, waving his hand with a small pout on his face after being worried that making friends would be difficult. “I lived there until I was thirteen and then we moved to Kanagawa and I did high school there. Once I finished, my parents had to move again. They tried not to do it while I studied to give me stability, so we moved here as soon as I graduated,” he says, holding a bittersweet smile. “I study too but it's not music. What do you study?”

“I wanna be a vet, I'm about to graduate, actually.”

“I'm not surprised,” Yahaba smiles after remembering all the afternoons spent in the backyard of Kyoutani's house with his two dogs. He believes that Kyoutani also remembers those moments in the sun and the grass caressing his legs because he smiles too.

“And you?”

“Fashion designer.”

“I'm not surprised either,” Kyoutani comments and they both laugh.

If there’s something that Yahaba likes besides singing, it’s to prepare in the right way for it. Playing with his bandmates is fun, but a smile also finds a place on his face when they ask him to think about what clothes they could wear so that the songs match the colors they wear.

When they were little and he and Kyoutani let their parents know they wanted to make a presentation, Yahaba would look for his mother's glasses and his father's scarves to enhance his presence. Kyoutani wrinkled his nose and shook his head in denial every time Yahaba suggested adding a garment around his neck as well.

“And so, you play in a band?” Yahaba asks him, the cold of his drink against his fingers contrasting with the warm atmosphere of the bar. “Wolves?”

“Yeah, we actually met recently. Iwaizumi is the singer, and the only person of the band that I really respect if you ask me,” Kyoutani begins to explain and Yahaba can't help but chuckle. “The keyboard guy is Kindaichi and Matsukawa plays the electric guitar. Iwaizumi and Kindaichi have known each other since they were little, I met Iwaizumi, and Matsukawa is Iwaizumi's college classmate.”

Yahaba smiles because all bands have their own stories. He had met Oikawa at a photo shoot as Oikawa had been called up as a model for one of his career classes. Oikawa and Hanamaki are co-workers, and together with them, the three of them had met Kunimi at a bar.

“What about you? Do you still sing?” Kyoutani asks him.

“Yes, I do,” Yahaba laughs and Kyoutani looks at him confused. “We were actually supposed to play tonight,” he adds, leaning slightly forward to pretend to point at Hanamaki and Kunimi, who he assumes are still in their places. Apparently they are because Kyoutani seems to wander a glance before resting it on him again.

“Oh, I am so sorry.”

Previously, Yahaba had been badly predisposed, but at that moment he can’t help but hold a lopsided smile after hearing his words. “Don't worry, it was our leader’s fault, actually, the person who is talking to who I assume he is with right now, Iwaizumi, you said?”

Kyoutani turns around after following Yahaba's gaze, and they both find Oikawa and Iwaizumi chatting, not seeming to be arguing after the misunderstanding, but rather understanding each other because they both stand next to the stage, holding the same kind of smile although Oikawa’s is more notable while Iwaizumi's smaller.

“Yeah...” Yahaba avoids laughing after hearing Kyoutani sound confused, and holds up a smile once their gazes meet again. “And what is your band called? You know the name of mine but I don't know the name of yours.”

“Zero Effect.” If his response is accompanied by a slight hint of pride, Yahaba doesn't mention it. “Because we don't let the opinions of others affect us.”

“Or because your music has zero effect on people,” Kyoutani says along with an inevitable laugh as Yahaba allows an expression of offense to take over his face.

“What about you? Wolves? Really?”

“Hey, hey,” Kyoutani holds up both hands, one of those holding the beer, and stops laughing. “It does make sense, okay? We are like a pack of wolves, we are a family.”

“Well, wolf pack, our spotlight was stolen tonight and it's not even a full moon.”

"Revenge.” Kyoutani raises both eyebrows, and Yahaba arches one.

“Why?”

“You used to always steal the spotlight, everyone wanted to hear you sing, remember? Nobody wanted to hear me play the drums, my parents were already tired of me.” Yahaba bites his lower lip and shakes his head after remembering all the times they had turned their family dinners in their favor to improvise shows for them. “Sometimes I think you accidentally stole it, I think. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if everyone naturally paid attention to you.”

The corners of Yahaba's mouth lift up.

“I liked listening to you,” Yahaba assures him. Kyoutani stares at him. “Remember those nights where we used to have sleepovers and I couldn't fall asleep and so I wouldn't let you sleep, because I was nervous about moving out?” From an early age, his parents had warned him that his environment wouldn’t be the same forever, and Yahaba had become used to the idea of one day having to leave Miyagi's tranquility, but as soon as the idea had become a reality and nervousness had appeared, Kyoutani had always been there for him. “You used to tap my arm to relax me, like it was a drum set. But it was a calm rhythm. I liked listening to you.”

Nerves are no longer a part of him today. He’s of age and he knows that he doesn’t intend to change the tall buildings, the colors of the lights, and the lines of cars of Tokyo for a long time. Moving has always been difficult, but settling in even more. Through various circumstances he has met Oikawa, Hanamaki, and Kunimi, and considers them more than just his bandmates. Despite the intimidation that the big city of Tokyo can generate, Yahaba feels comfortable after getting used to walking the same streets, memorizing the same addresses, and seeing Ennoshita's bar as a second home where he’s free to be himself and show others what music means to him.

The two are distracted when the bar lights go down again, and Kyoutani puts down his beer at the same time he turns his head to glimpse Iwaizumi waving his hand to come back and the other two band members approaching the stage.

“I have to go back,” Kyoutani tells him after seeing him again. “But, will you stay?” He asks him.

Well, after all, Yahaba has nothing better to do. “I will.”

Kyoutani smiles upon hearing him and turns to return to the stage, but Yahaba pursues him with his eyes when, after taking two steps, he approaches him again. “And maybe you would like to have a drink afterwards? Once we finish playing? You know, to catch up?” Kyoutani asks him.

Throughout his life, Yahaba has become accustomed to looking for the known in his surroundings, be it a singing institution where he continues to learn to function with the help of his vocal cords, or a bakery with the richest and shiniest creampuffs because his parents still wonder from whom he's inherited the volume of his hair. In a city as big as Tokyo, spending time with someone who represents everything but the unknown sounds like the best of plans.

“Yes, I'd like to. You owe me for not letting me sing tonight.”

“Deal,” Kyoutani laughs and gives him a smile before finally turning around.

A couple of seconds is the time that elapses after being part of a conversation again.

“Wow, you two really know how to spend your time,” he hears Hanamaki mention as Oikawa comes back to them, an amused smile on his face. Oikawa sticks his tongue out at him and Yahaba turns to them, he too smiling.

“And I had to be with Hanamaki-san,” Kunimi says.

“Kunimi!” Hanamaki takes advantage of being next to him to wrap one arm around his shoulders. “Being with me is always fun. Besides, I saw you taking a look at the keyboard guy.”

Kunimi takes a look at him before mumbling, “And you at the guitarist.”

“Guilty.” Hanamaki holds up his best smile.

Yahaba can't help but smile broadly upon seeing them. Perhaps each one is unique in their own way, since even if most of the time Kunimi expresses not wanting to be with them, he never misses rehearsals, Hanamaki often stops the rehearsal earlier than agreed to emphasize that they should finish the day with a good round of drinks, and Oikawa always takes care that there are no problems between them or that they are resolved because music is important to the four of them in different ways. Yahaba can’t deny that despite being different and each one carrying their own personality, when they play together, harmony and fun are mixed.

He turns to the stage to rest his eyes on Kyoutani and tilts his head.

“I guess it's okay then, if I forgot to tell you that we weren't playing today?” He hears Oikawa, and without turning to see him, Yahaba smiles.

“I guess.”

Iwaizumi again takes the center stage and takes the microphone to announce the next song. Yahaba watches Ennoshita appear in his visual field after resting his arms on the bar and staying next to him.

“You don't seem so bored anymore.”

They both exchange a glance and Yahaba places his hands at the corners of his mouth before directing his gaze towards the stage. “Wooo! Come on Wolves!” He exclaims at the same time that Kyoutani's drumsticks meet the drums. Ennoshita laughs and he does too.

For as long as he can remember, music has always been the basis of his communication with Kyoutani. Music has allowed him to meet a boy his own age with a completely different personality from his own. Leaving Miyagi behind had saddened him because he knew that he would miss Kyoutani and his mania for always touching all existing flat surfaces with his fingers or his drumsticks.

Music had brought them together once, and Yahaba believes, that maybe, this time, it won't only be sharing earphones and listening to music what will bring them together, closer.