Chapter Text
Teaching Unit RC-687-040
External Boot Up Order Received Authorization: Medical Officer Ratchet
Core Processor Status: Online
Commencing Systems Check
Logic Processor: Green
Meta Processor: Yellow
Core Programming: Corrupted
Synchronizing Memory Core: Error
Synchronizing Memory Core: Error
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Synchronizing Memory Core: Complete
Running Sensory Systems Test
Equilibrium Sensors Online
Auditory Sensors Online
“...an you hear me?”
“According to the readout, he should be able to hear you.”
“Thanks, kid.”
Optical Sensors Online
The blackness faded into static. Light ate through the fuzz until an overly bright room began to come into focus.
“Alright Arcee, keep going. Almost got you fixed up.” Said Ratchet while shining a soft light directly into each of the drowsy his sore optics, forcing them to readjust to the appropriate filters.
The brightness of the medical bay became less overwhelming and finally allowing him to make out the medic’s grizzled features.
Vitals: Green
I forgot how tired he looks now. When Arcee had first met Ratchet, he had tried to save him from that disgusting bounty hunter. Did he get all that damage in the war?
Energon Reserves: 93%
Apparently that had been over 4 million stellar cycles ago.
Combat Systems: Offline
The light blue plated intel bot had barely been brought back online when they had to escape Omega Supreme. His systems must not have been totally operational because he didn’t remember much besides Ratchet and the orange and yellow techno organic who called herself Sari.
Initiating Mobility Test
Arcee could feel the plates and joints across his body shift and flex. That's when he started to feel it again.
The wrongness.
Like parts of his frame weren’t connecting correctly. Something about his core programming felt tampered with. As if there was code that was not where it was supposed to be.
“Hey, Ratchet? I’m getting some weird readings from him.” Sari said from her position by the computer.
“Hm? Let me look.” Arcee watched the medic approach the diagnostic device and study it carefully as while mumbling to himself. “Meta Processor: Yellow… Core programming corruption… Arcee, how do you feel?”
At first nothing but static came out when he tried to speak. After taking a moment to recalibrate his vocal systems, he managed to form coherent sentences.
“Ugh, tired and sore, but otherwise I feel fine, doc… I guess.” He'd had been through this all before and didn’t think there was any point in doing it again. Arcee had always felt this way. None of the Autobot doctors could ever quite pinpoint what the exact problem was.
“Tell me,” Ratchet said as he returned to the medical birth and scanned his patient again, “Do you feel any disconnect with yourself?”
What?
“How… did you know that?” Arcee looked up at the battered helm of his friend with shock written on his features.
“The next time I ask you if something feels wrong you better tell me, got it soldier?” He said while flicking the front of Arcee's helm. “I might have an idea, but I need to do some research before I-”
The chiming of Ratchet’s communicator interrupted him.
“Whatchya need Prime?” He grumped over the comm, “I’m still working with Arcee.”
“Sorry to intrude, but we need you up here before we begin our approach.” The Prime’s voice was carefully in a way typical of high ranking officers.
That must be… Optimus? Arcee couldn’t remember if he'd met the rest of Omega’s crew, but their profiles and records of their missions on Earth had been uploaded to his Memory Core.
“Hey kid, keep an eye on him while I go see what the young bots need.” Before Ratchet left, he turned to him again, “Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out.”
After he left through the medical bay doors, Arcee slowly vented to calm the churning emotions in his processor. Feeling tired, he merely continued to stare at the orange plating on the ceiling until he heard the tapping of light pedes on metal.
Sari pulled herself up onto the berth before climbing up onto his chestplate. She sat down, crossing her stabilizing servos and carefully studied him with narrowed optics.
What… is she doing? Arcee had never seen anyone quite like her.
While he wasn’t a big cybertronian per se, this techno organic was probably about half his height and quite slim. Her slim frame was made from a mix of orange and yellow plates and fabric. Soft brown mesh covered her face and digits. Where most bots would have a helm, she had thick red filaments tied into two tufts above her fleshy audio sensors. Her optics were even stranger. They looked like organic orbs with pupils that glowed a blue very similar to his own.
According to her profile, Sari was a human-Cybertronian hybrid of unknown origin. Unlike most of their kind, Arcee actually had some previous experience with organics. During the war, he had infiltrated several organic worlds. But she was utterly unique, even compared to the database of other humans Ratchet’s team had interacted with.
Fascinating.
“Soooo… We didn’t really get a chance to introduce ourselves with all the chaos. I’m Sari.”
“Yes, I read your file.” He said, unsure of what the mini-bot was really after, “Um… I’m Arcee. Was that all you needed?”
“Heh, right to the point I see.” Sari idly scratched her digits through her red hair, “I wanted to ask you some things about yourself. If that’s ok with you of course…”
Hmm… why is she so curious about me? It’s not like I’m very interesting…
“Okay, I guess.” He responded evenly, interest slightly peaked.
“Ratchet said you felt a disconnect with yourself. The diagnostic showed some problems with your Meta processor and Core programming… what does it feel like?” She asked with wide optics and her mouth pressed in a thin line.
“Uh… no one's ever asked me that before.” Arcee admitted. “I guess it feels like my body has never been right.”
“Never?”
“Yes... Since my earliest memories. Why do you ask?”
“Well… I know Cybertronians aren’t like organics, so I’m not sure if my idea is correct. But…” She paused and looked away, twiddling her digits.
“But?” Arcee pressed, curiosity getting the better of him.
“On Earth, when someone feels like they weren’t born in the right body, we call it dysphoria. But it usually has to do with gender. So I’m not sure if it's the same. Cybertronian’s concepts of gender are pretty confusing.”
Something clicked in Arcee’s head. Immediately he began to process all information he could find in Earth’s database about dysphoria and gender.
“Hey, you ok?”
“Yes, I was just learning about what you told me from the human’s internet.” Arcee explained. “It looks like there are some similarities between their concepts of gender and ours, with some slight differences.”
“Ooooh, really? Like what?” Sari asked eagerly. Her attitude and probing questions reminded him so much of the young bots he used to teach, that he automatically switched to teaching mode.
Arcee began to shift and sit up, joints creaking as he moved for the first time since waking up. As he pulled his stabilizing servos beneath him, Sari climbed off and sat on the opposite side of the berth so they could face each other.
“Well, organics generally link their concepts of gender to their sex at birth. Usually this comes from their need to reproduce via mating.” While he elaborated, Sari’s eyes widened and her cheeks flushed oddly, “But Cybertronians do not reproduce this way. So for us, gender is entirely linked to our morphology and identity. Understand so far?”
She nodded her head vigorously while maintaining rapt attention.
“As we adapt our forms to blend in with life on other planets, so did ancient Cybertronians adapt their concepts of gender to match our forms or personalities.” He began to feel an uncomfortable ache in his spark while speaking, but forged on, excited to teach her inquiring mind, “Most of us use the pronouns of he/him for mechs or she/her for femmes. As you may have noticed, femmes are relatively rare among our people. But even less common are bots who don't feel right being acknowledged as either mechs or femmes. So you could use the human terms for non-men or non-women for them.”
“Cooool…” Sari cooed enthusiastically. “You’re right! We are weirdly similar with gender. So… you’re a mech?”
“Yes, that's corr-”
But the words coming out of his mouth turned to static before finishing the sentence. A deep, aching pain fluttered in his spark as he processed the question and attempted to answer.
“Arcee…” Sari’s optics seemed to droop as she reached up with a tiny servo and placed it gently on his cheek. “I think you might be what humans call transgender.”
For some reason, his processor was stuttering and the frequency of his vents increased in speed as it tried to cool down his rapidly overheating internals.
“W-wh… what does… that mean…” He finally managed to force out.
Why do I feel so heavy?
“When a human is born, they are usually called a boy or girl based on their birth sex…” Sari explained with obvious melancholy in her field, “But people don’t consider how the baby will feel later when they learn who they are. It’s a little hard to explain… but sometimes a person is told they’re a girl, but they feel like a boy. Or someone who’s born a boy actually feels like a girl. Sometimes a person won’t feel exactly like either one and want to be called something different entirely, kind of like how Cybertronians do.”
Pieces of information fell into place inside Arcee’s Core processor as Sari spoke. But he was having trouble sorting through it all. It felt like he was malfunctioning.
“So I was thinking… maybe the problem is that you’re not actually a mech, but you were forged like one.”
“I-I-I-I-...”
Something was wrong with hi138kdjcnvm938-
“Uh… Arcee? You ok- Oh scrap!”
One by one his systems started to shut down before everything went black.
Emergency Stasis Locked Activated