Chapter Text
"Where did you find him?"
"Poking around your parents' house. I honestly thought he was Phineas at first."
Candace stared at the younger woman. "Really?"
Isabella blushed. "I haven't seen him in three years. My first thought was basically 'hot triangle-headed boy,' and he was heading to the backyard, okay?"
"What did he want back there?"
"I don't know." She waved a hand. "He was talking about alternate dimensions and dictators and some kind of robots, and I kind of got distracted..."
"I thought you were over Phineas?" She was positive that Isabella hadn't gotten over him willingly, but she didn't want to get in the middle of whatever mess that was.
"I am!" Her blush deepened. "But, I mean, look at him!"
And Candace was. Though the gap in the door. He was quietly sitting in her livingroom, sipping a cup of black coffee. If he didn't look so much like her younger brother, she'd probably agree with Isabella. The guy was seriously buff and flaunting it with his low cut v-neck.
She hadn't said much to him. Offered him something to drink then dragged Isabella into the kitchen for questioning. Apparently, he'd been looking for the boys, and since Isabella didn't know where they were, she was the next best thing.
"He even says he's Phineas, just some weird other dimensional version."
"He used the word weird?"
"No."
Candace shrugged. With Phineas, he very well could have. She couldn't argue that though. It was just weird seeing a thin Phineas again, let alone a buff one. Not for the first time, she wondered if her brothers' lives would've been better if Ferb would've got an abortion or given the kid up or something.
At least Phineas' would have been.
"I'm going in there." Candace shoved open the door.
He looked up with a slight smile that made her think he'd known they'd been watching him. She wasn't surprised. She'd noticed the way he'd immediately checked for exits after entering her house too.
Currently, she was leaning towards military. The 'Death Before Dishonor' dagger tattoo peaking out from under his sleeve was helping push her further in that direction.
She didn't think she liked the idea of either of her bothers being in the military. Even if they weren't her actual brothers.
"So..."
"So," he echoed, smile widening. "Do you remember me?"
"Should I?"
The smile became strained. His eyes dropped to the mug, fingers tapping its surface. "We always wondered about that, you know? What those bastards," she didn't know who he meant, but the ease with which the curse slipped from him had her flinching--she couldn't remember ever hearing her Phineas curse, "would do to you when it was all said and done. Where's Perry?"
Candace had to stop herself from looking around in reflex at the non-sequeter of the familiar phrase. "Mom and Dad are on a trip. So they either sent him to Phineas and Ferb's or got a sitter."
"So he doesn't live with them?" For a second, it looked like he wanted to question it, but he just nodded. "That's good. Should give us some leeway or a loophole we can exploit."
The door behind her squeaked as Isabella... leaned out of it or something. She wasn't turning to look.
"What does Perry have to do with anything?"
"He has to do with everything." The tapping sped up. "Look, it's a long story, and I don't want to have to tell it twice. Can you take me to Phineas and Ferb? If Perry's there, even better." He stopped, frowning. "Or maybe not. I wasn't paying that much attention at the time, but I think Phineas was pissed at him last time they learned this so maybe it's better if he's not."
That didn't answer her question. If it was going to upset Phineas, should she bring him? She hadn't visited them recently, but he seemed to be doing better. What if whatever he wanted to tell them set him back?
But it sounded like someone had screwed with their minds, their memories, neither of her brothers would take that well, but she knew they'd want to be aware of it.
He stared at her, eyes slowly going all puppy-doggy. Oh! That was so not fair! She could never resist those.
"Please, Candace?"
She closed her eyes with a low growl. "Fine!"
"Thank you!"
She was caught off-guard by him jumping up and pulling her into a hug.
He hugged exactly like her brother, even if the build was all off.
Leaning back but not letting go, he tilted his head to the side. "Don't take this the wrong way, but are you pregnant?"
"Three months." She hadn't thought it was noticeable yet.
His shoulders relaxed. Absently, she realized that he stood up straighter than her Phineas. "Oh, good." He squeezed her again. "Actually, that's great! It's awesome! It's... it's--"
Shoving him back, Candace laughed. He was beaming at her, and despite the differences, it was so oblivious that this was her brother. Or a version of him. Phineas had reacted pretty much the exact same way when she'd told him.
"I know I'm not really your brother, but I always wanted a niece or nephew." He didn't dim the least as he rolled his eyes. "God knows I'm not getting one any time soon in my dimension."
What was going on in his dimension? She bit her tongue. That would probably come out later when he told them his story. And if they were already going to see them--"I already have one. Amanda. She's at pre-school. And Ferb has a kid."
Phineas froze. "He does?" Snorting, he shook his head. "I guess that's not surprising. If he's anything like my Ferb. I walked into way too many things I'd like to unsee when we were sharing a room."
She really could have gone her whole life without knowing that. Thanks. "No, not like that, he, um, is Ferb human in your dimension?"
That finally turned off his beam. "I think so? Is he not human here?" He rubbed at the back of his neck. "I didn't think our dimensions differed that much."
"He might have never told you." She didn't know when he'd told Phineas. And they never let her in on it until he got himself knocked up. "It's a long story. I'll explain on the way." After she got rid of Isabella. Though, considering she was still hiding from them, that might not be too hard.