Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Mark entered SM Entertainment when he was only 13 years old. On the day he was set to fly out to South Korea, his parents wanted to come with him. Unfortunately, the company only shouldered Mark’s plane ticket and, at that time, money was tight for the Lee’s. Mark had no choice but to put on a brave face; he proudly declared, I can go on my own only for him to break down crying during immigration because he was just a damn kid about to embark on a journey, both literally and figuratively, all alone.

Staying in South Korea was tolerable at least. Mark’s a sociable guy and, despite the language barrier, he immediately made friends left and right. He meets Johnny who takes him under his wing; Taeyong who treats him to ice cream almost every day; Jaehyun who shows him how to remember Hangul quicker; and Yuta who always shoots him a toothy grin when he nails a dance move right. Training is tiring, but Mark enjoys the soreness he feels after a long day of singing and dancing. No pain, no gain, Mark’s brother would say when Mark talked about his day through daily video calls with his family.

No pain, no gain.

Mark’s brother definitely did not take into account the headache that is Lee Donghyuck when he said that, but Mark suffered, suffers and will suffer all the same.

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Puberty makes people horny. Add on to the fact that they’re a bunch of teenagers with no outlet whatsoever and they’re basically horny AND repressed. Whenever one of them returns from the communal bathroom smelling, frankly, the same only muskier, they’ve all learned to turn a blind eye in respect to a brother who simply had to satisfy his needs.

Mark has never rubbed one out in the bathroom because he knows once he does, it’s as good as announcing to the world what he had done. He tries to not partake in matters of the flesh, but there are days when his eyes go hazy as he reads the occasional verse from his bible and all he actually sees are skin on skin on skin. Mark has to take deep breaths during those times and remember that he had embarrassingly bawled his eyes out in the trip to Korea just to will his boner away.

Johnny had asked him once how he takes care of his junior and Mark recalls blanching at Johnny’s choice of words.

“Um. I don’t.”

This time, it’s Johnny that blanches, “That’s gonna shrivel up, dude.”

Still, Mark refuses to touch himself because it’ll only make him self-conscious. Call it spotlight effect or whatever, but he sees the way-too-fabricated nonchalance the others take on when it’s apparent somebody had just masturbated and has no idea that they know. Mark definitely doesn’t want to be on the receiving end of that attention or its pretend lack thereof.

But then Lee Donghyuck just always throws a wrench on things, doesn’t he?

The communal bathroom in the trainees’ dormitory was bad, but the males’ locker room in SM was way worse. It takes up more than half of one of the floors and all the male trainees, regardless if they were a newbie or a sunbae, had to use it. It was essentially a cesspool of sweat made up of horny AND repressed teenagers. The locker room was so infamous that the trainees would whisper about how they’d rather be caught by Joohyun-sunbae hanging out in her personal practice room than be subjected to an hour’s stay there.

On an uneventful day, a day just like any other, Mark had accidentally dropped his deodorant while changing in the aforementioned locker room. Mark has never taken a peek at others while they’re changing; there’s no reason to after all. But, after he had bent down to pick up his stray deodorant, he had glanced back up and coincidentally caught sight of Donghyuck’s bare chest.

Donghyuck’s nipples were…cute.

Later on, Mark would physically smack himself for the unbecoming thoughts that had plagued him, but in that moment, all his brain could conjure up was: Donghyuck’s nipples were cute.

Donghyuck was a skinny kid but his breasts look plump enough that Mark bets if he tried to cop a feel, flesh would just spill over the webs of his fingers. Donghyuck’s areolas are puffier than normal too with the skin more protruded, squishy, Mark thinks, and acting as soft cushions for his tiny nipples. His cute nipples, Mark’s brain continues to supply, because Mark should just spiral into insanity anyhow.

As if sent by heaven to stop Mark’s descent towards hell, Donghyuck catches him staring. Donghyuck places his arms around his chest protectively and that just forces a cleavage to appear – a scene that looked like it came straight out of the hentai manga Yuta had gleefully passed around one time, “Stop looking, Mark!”

Stop looking, Mark, he internally begged himself, Stop looking at Donghyuck’s cute nipples.

Later on, as they’re settling down for the night back home in the trainees’ dormitory, Donghyuck approaches him and is uncharacteristically quiet. Mark waits for Donghyuck to break the silence first because he has nothing to offer him aside from the offending thought, Your nipples are cute.

Finally, Donghyuck whispers, “My mom said it’s because I need a lot of air to sing, that’s why my chest is….yeah.” Donghyuck ears start turning red and he seals the final nail on Mark’s coffin by looking at Mark beneath his eyelashes and adding, “It’s embarrassing but I know hyung will keep it a secret, hm?”

Mark nods and waits, prays really, for Donghyuck to leave. Donghyuck shoots him a shy grin and bids him goodbye, goodnight, hyung, Donghyuck had crooned, unaware of the shitstorm inside Mark that he had instigated, don’t let the bed bugs bite. Mark watches Donghyuck like a hawk scramble towards his own room that he shared with trainees who are his age, leaving Mark with horny AND repressed teenagers just like Mark.

He attempts to wait a while but the burn was eating up his guts and his lower half. He shoots up, throws caution to the wind and runs to the communal bathroom to do his business. The others realize that Mark had forgotten his toiletries, a big no-no honestly for what Mark was about to do. It’s obviously Mark’s first rodeo, so they all silently agreed that they should just let it go because there was no damn way they were going to address the elephant that was about to be in the room.

Mark returns, sweatier than earlier and satisfaction obviously painted on his features. Ah, the elephant in the room. His roommates have all indiscreetly turned away from him to give him some semblance of privacy, but Mark can’t even find it in himself to be embarrassed.

Mark felt cathartic.

He had touched himself to the idea of unforgivingly pinching Donghyuck’s cute nipples. Would Donghyuck squeal in that high tone of his? Flinch and try to get away from Mark’s insistent hands? He wants to find out how soft Donghyuck’s areolas really were with his tongue – to trace the shape and leave trails of saliva so that Donghyuck has to wipe it away afterwards and complain about how his hyung had dirtied him. Mark had thought if he pushed Donghyuck’s mounds just a little, just a minuscule push really, he can imagine Donghyuck’s chest giving in, fat squeezed, in order to accommodate his hands - an opposite and equal reaction to the force exerted.

Earlier, he had wanted to trace the cleavage of Donghyuck’s chest with his finger didn’t he? A little map-reading to discover how sensitive the area is with Mark as an enthusiastic cartographer. How deep was it?, Mark wondered. Donghyuck could probably hold something between those tits of his if he squeezed his chest hard enough. Now, that was an interesting thought.

Mark smacks himself in the face so hard his cheek immediately ran hot. Shame quickly replaces the feeling of catharsis and Mark silently laments the agony he’s starting to feel again in his boxers.

God. He doesn’t know how he can look Donghyuck in the eye tomorrow.

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Flashforward years later and Donghyuck’s chest is still the bane of Mark’s existence. What’s worse is that the rest of NCT have also grown some sort of fondness for Donghyuck’s damn nipples. They set him up to fail every time for either a game or a bet they started out of the blue just so the consequence could be copping a feel of Donghyuck’s chest. Donghyuck, who no longer feels embarrassed about how his chest sticks out more than his peers, happily complies like the fool Mark thinks he is. As if getting his chest fondled and his nipples rubbed should be a normal occurrence once you’ve graduated from the throes of insecurity that puberty brought with it.

They might have debuted, but at their very core they will always be horny AND repressed teenagers. Sadly, Mark is one of them and might just be the biggest pervert too.

He has never joined NCT in the dirty arrangement they’ve got with Donghyuck; he was way too competitive to fake a loss. Instead, Mark is meticulous: he times it just right so that he and Donghyuck will have to share a dressing room on every occasion. When a stylist calls for the next set of members to change into their outfits, Mark prepares the setup beforehand to ensure he and Donghyuck will always go as a pair. Mark is discreet in his voyeurism, of course. Quick peeps and quicker ogling. Just enough material for a wank later.

At home, he subtly drops little suggestions that the hyungs should take a bath first and that the maknaes can just share the remaining hot water afterwards by showering together. Jungwoo had once deviated from the plan by being a martyr: “I can go last, Mark. Or we can just shower together?”

But it wasn’t Jungwoo’s chest that Mark wanted to see, was it? Mark gives him the boy-next-door smile SM actually ingrains into all of its male idols to do and replies, “No worries, dude. Hyungs first.”, and thankfully that was that. Jungwoo has always been the nice one.

It’s a good system Mark had established and for the longest time it’s one he became comfortable with. He probably had to contemplate on why it was just Donghyuck that does it for him, but he can cross that bridge when he gets there. It’s a problem for future Mark instead; right now, present Mark is basking in the glory of having a solid masturbating schedule. He bets past Mark would have found it repulsive.

Mark only gets four hours of sleep on a good day but the relief he gets from simply imagining touching Donghyuck’s chest and then letting himself go gives him that push he needs to keep going despite constantly having a jampacked schedule. It’s better than Red Bull, honestly.

But then Lee Donghyuck just always throws a wrench on things, doesn’t he?

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“It’s itchy.”

Mark stops fiddling with the chains on his neck to look at Donghyuck. They’re currently out and about for the Seoul City version photoshoot and beside Mark, Donghyuck won’t stop moving his sweater from shoulder to shoulder. “It’s so itchy. I thought this was cotton or something. Why is it so itchy?”

Mark grabs Donghyuck’s wrists to stop him for creasing his sweater further. The stylists are more ruthless than their dance and vocal mentors combined and they have no reservations throwing a fit whenever any of them return their clothes with anything they deem a ‘tarnish’ to the outfits. “You’re gonna incite the wrath of the coordi-noonas. Just tolerate it.”

“Noooo,” Donghyuck whines, swinging his hands beside him, bringing alongside Mark’s with him, “It’s so itchy. It’s going to bother me forever.”

“Use baby powder.” Mark grins lasciviously, “Or maybe you want me to scratch it for you?”

Mark has always been a horny AND repressed teenager alongside the rest of the barbarians in NCT, but Donghyuck is a different breed. Mark chalks it up to Donghyuck having grown up with people his age throughout his training period; he’s never been exposed to the likes of Johnny asking about his masturbation preferences or Yuta shoving hentai manga in his face as a form of bro bonding. Donghyuck’s innocence is what makes Mark’s voyeuristic tendencies something he prays about everyday too. Mark’s essentially a pervert, a peeping tom, a sinner, and Donghyuck’s the oblivious virgin unaware of his lewd stares. Mark’s church pastor will definitely have a few choice words to say about his sexual preferences.

Anyway, the truth of the matter is this: Donghyuck can give the fans his sultriest O-face but in actuality he’s as pure and soft as the first snowfall of winter.

Which makes the next sequence of events extremely puzzling.

Donghyuck gently takes Mark’s hands and brings it over his chest – the same chest that has always starred in Mark’s wet dreams. Donghyuck makes Mark close his fist, his pointer finger in both hands sticking out, and then he slides those fingers on top of his nipples – the same nipples that Mark wanks to everyday.

Donghyuck whispers, “Here, hyung. Scratch here.”

Mark is having a fucking aneurysm. It started when Donghyuck held his hands but it just snowballed into a full-blown brain hemorrhage when his hands had grazed Donghyuck’s chest. Mark tries not to hyper fixate on the fact his fingers can feel the stiffness of Donghyuck’s nipples but he had inadvertently conditioned himself, in particular his dick, to turn hard just at the mere thought of Donghyuck’s cute nipples.

His hands are getting clammy and for some reason he can’t will himself to move. He’s been staring at where his fingers are on Donghyuck’s chest, on Donghyuck’s cute nipples, and the image in front of him is something Mark will remember until the day he dies: Donghyuck’s sweater is way too thin, making the silhouette of his body extremely evident. If Mark squints just a little, he’ll be able to clearly see through the material the gold mine that is Donghyuck’s chest. However, the universe takes pity on him because all he is permitted to see are two indistinct dark splotches on Donghyuck’s chest, his areolas, Mark surmises, with Mark’s fingers pressing in the middle of each splotch.

His fingers unintentionally twitch and his nails must have caught the edges of Donghyuck’s nipples because Donghyuck lets out a breathless gasp. Mark only registers in that moment that Donghyuck is still holding onto his wrists. Donghyuck has a tight grip on him and when Donghyuck meets his eyes and says, “I’m sensitive’’, Mark feels the heat from Donghyuck’s hands burn him – this was the same burn he had felt when he first touched himself to Donghyuck’s chest; the same burn that made him unable to hold back on his most primal urge when he had so greatly insisted that he was not going to masturbate in the disgusting communal bathroom they had when they were still trainees.

Mark is a horny AND repressed teenager. That’s the only explanation he can give if somebody were to ask him why he had placed Donghyuck’s hands on his nape and then ducked down to give both Donghyuck’s nipples a quick tiny lick, a gesture of some immoral form of affection for Donghyuck’s cute nipples.

He must be slobbering already and it should be disgusting doing the shit he wants to do to Donghyuck’s chest so out in the open while people are milling around, but Mark doesn’t give a damn.

After the licks, he tries to suck on one of Donghyuck’s nipples. The left one looks like it needs attention, Mark’s rotten brain had suggested. He gets a mouthful of Donghyuck’s sweater instead but before he can try again, Donghyuck pushes his head away.

Donghyuck is so pretty. He’s always been pretty, but in that moment, with his cheeks red, mouth open and eyes hazy, Donghyuck looked the most beautiful.

Mark wants him. Has always wanted him.

“Hyung,” Donghyuck whines, petting Mark’s mouth delicately, “Later, okay?” Donghyuck grins, a naughty one that makes Mark want to lick it off, “Later, you can do more than look.”

Mark should be ashamed that Donghyuck has caught him red-handed, right? Imagine being lusted after by one of your hyungs, by somebody who you considered a best friend, all this time. How can you comfortably hang around someone, undress in front of them or take a shower with them, when they look at you and all they’re actually doing is imagining the unspeakable things they want to do to your chest? Donghyuck should have ran away from him a long time ago. He should have reported Mark for acts of perversion and have him kicked out of SM, maybe even have him blacklisted in the Korean entertainment industry. Donghyuck should have forced Mark to go back home to Canada with his tail between his legs.

But then Lee Donghyuck just always throws a wrench on things, doesn’t he?

Donghyuck pats his head, dispelling his way too convoluted train of thought, before traipsing away. Mark watches as he is stopped by a stylist who asks, “Haechan, we have another sweater on hand. Wanna switch?”. Donghyuck throws his head back as he laughs, as if he wasn’t drooled on by Mark just a few minutes earlier, “It’s alright, noona. Hyung scratched the itch.”

Mark gulps and attempts to adjust his pants to make sure his half-hard dick can’t be seen in plain sight. He’s horny AND repressed but he’s still got a job to do after all.

But later? After years of secret glances and even more clandestine masturbatory sessions, he’s definitely going to do more than look, or lick, later.

No pain, no gain, huh?

Well, time to reap the gain.

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