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Falco doesn't like it.
He doesn't like the fact that everytime Gabi gets praised or gets a pat on the head or gets talked about as the best candidate Marley's ever had in a while, he doesn't feel proud or affection towards her. Instead it was a more... complicated feeling, and a feeling he'd never expected to ever experience. It all started when Gabi beat him and the other two candidates, Udo and Zofia in a race.
When Falco saw her smile, that cheery, bright smile that could light up the whole world, he didn't feel affection. He didn't feel happy. He didn't feel proud that Gabi, his friend, was so much better than him and everybody else.
He actually felt hatred.
"Isn't it terrible?" He leaned back into the wooden chair, feeling his tense muscles relax as he turned his head to look at the soldier with long, black hair and one eye covered. "I love Gabi so much, but sometimes... I'd say things like 'if only Gabi wasn't here.'" He took a deep breath before slowly exhaling, looking at the way everything around them was painted orange from the sunset.
"Gabi's so much better than me at everything. And she always, ALWAYS makes the right decisions." Falco paused for a moment, thinking to himself if the man next to him really was listening, or he's more focused on something else, seeing that he didn't say anything ever since the start of Falco's rant. The man only kept silent.
The sound of multiple quick footsteps filled the empty silence as a group of children ran in groups. "I'm tired..." A boy with black hair and glasses said as he gasped for air, exhausted from their training—or at least, just the start of it. Another boy, this time a blonde haired one started doing stretches, all pumped up.
"Talk that way and the next class of Warrior Candidates are going to leave you guys in the dust." He said, feeling adrenaline course through his body as his skin felt sweaty under the uncomfortable material of his uniform. Good, at least he knows his efforts are going to pay off. "Uhh, you seem motivated today, Falco." The black haired boy said again, and Falco turned to look behind him as he heard a familiar voice talking.
It's not a voice he wanted to hear.
"I guess..." Falco looked down at the ground, his hands on his waist as he steadied himself. He was getting tired too. He remembers what he swore he'd do. He wants to protect Gabi.
He wants everyone to know that he's not just useless and can be better than Gabi.
He's going to surpass her.
He's going to let everyone know that he's way better than Gabi.
He took a deep breath as he felt his heart drumming against his chest. "If there's anyone who's gonna inherit the Armored Titan, it's me." What is this feeling? Why does he feel hurt? He's just saying how he feels. Why does he feel... somehow hurt inside? Why does everytime he think of Gabi, his heart aches? Even when he loves her? Even when he wants to protect her?
Does he really want to protect her?
He was just about to turn around and see what Gabi, and, judging by the other set of footsteps, Reiner was talking about when he felt something hard hit him in the face. Gabi had headbutted him, and he recoiled in pain, rubbing his head, trying to soothe out the pain. Gabi seemed furious, her eyebrows furrowed and her face in a frown. "I'd like to see you try."
Right when Gabi said those words, that's when Falco's sure what he feels isn't just simple, old fashioned rivalry,
It's hatred.
He clenched his fists as he answered her, just a feisty "I will."
She's gonna wish she could take back those words when he finally shows her, and Reiner, and all the other Warriors, and everyone in the world, that he's way better than Gabi. He's not satisfied with being in second place every single time they conducted exams to see the Candidates' results and skills. Everyone else would've argued that he should've been satisfied,
but he wasn't.
He wants more.
He even went out of his way to be nice and kind to everyone, just so he could somehow rival Gabi's natural born talent with racking up moral points, but Gabi seemed to hate it when he does that. And he hates it too.
He hates her.
One day he's had just about enough with Gabi constantly looking down on him, on all his efforts, on his talents too... Just because she's a natural born talent doesn't mean that she's better than him. Just because she's related to the Armored Titan's holder doesn't mean that she's better than him. Just because she's one of the very few female soldiers doesn't mean she's better than him.
If so, then why...?
Why does she keep acting like she's better than him?
Falco knows that there's only one way to wipe that shit eating grin off of her face, and that was inheriting the Armored from her very idol. That'd definitely teach her to stop looking down on everyone.
That'll teach her to stop looking down on him.
Falco punched the wall, not caring that he felt his knuckles sting from the pain. He was too frustrated with his results. He trained and he trained hard, but for some god damn reason, he just couldn't beat Gabi. It was like Gabi was destined to be much, much better than him. It was like Gabi was destined to be number one, and him, two.
He hated that.
"Dammit... I've got to change..."
He needs to stop being so weak. He's powerful, and he knows that. He's talented, and he knows that. He just needs Gabi to know that he's just as good as her, or even better.
"I've got to change something..."
He's tired of being overshadowed just because someone else had natural gifted talent.
"I have to do something or else... Gabi's going to inherit the Armored Titan."
All of a sudden, he felt a familiar feeling starting to envelope himself as he clenched his fist again, before kicking a nearby trash can.
"If I don't change, then..."
Then no one would be able to see just how excellent a soldier he is.
If only Gabi wasn't there.
"...who's going to protect Gabi?"
He keeps lying to himself, saying that he just wants to protect the girl more than anything, but that couldn't be further from the truth. He just wanted to surpass Gabi so that everyone could see that he's better than her. So that he could finally be seen for his own person. So that he could completely overshadow Gabi, just as she did to him.
So that Gabi would be completely out of the picture.
"You're hurt." Eren had realized all the bruises and dirt on Falco's uniform, and had pointed it out, rather bluntly in fact. "...from training to be a Marleyan Warrior?" He asked, half guessing, half stating the truth—after all, he'd been watching the boy for a while now, after he'd helped him out some time ago, but that's another story.
"Yes... but. I can't become a Warrior." There was a tone of hesitance in his voice, Eren could tell. But there was something else he'd noted, although he found it hard to believe from the boy's kind demeanor.
Hatred? Venom? Contempt?
Eren really didn't want to get involved with this boy's personal matters, but for the sake of his own personal little mission, he had to—he had to find out what's important for the boy, so he asked, "Why's that?" Eren noted that the boy seemed like he was hiding his feelings. Eren also noted that he's pretty good at doing so.
"There's another talented candidate in my class... and I don't think I'll get my turn." Eren noted that he clenched his fists. A little too hard, in fact. "That's good." Eren replied, placing his hand on his crutch, staring off into the distance. "Huh?" Falco replied in question, and Eren continued. "You're a good kid. I'd be happy if you lived a nice, long life."
But Falco didn't want that.
"But... I... don't want this person to become a soldier."
That's because he wants to be a soldier too, and he doesn't want her getting in the way.
He's gotten way too sick of following behind her, trying to reach out to her, and surpass her...
but he can't.
Eren paused. He thinks he's gotten a good idea from what everything was, but didn't dare question the boy. He needed to tread carefully. "Why... do you say that?" Eren made sure to make his tone as unprovocative as possible, genuinely wanting to know Falco's response. "Is this talented candidate... a girl?"
Eren saw Falco hang his head low as his cheeks reddened.
Probably from anger.
"Her name's Gabi. She's famous in this district. She's even been recognized for what she did in war already. Just about everyone would say that the Armoured should be her..."
He doesn't want that.
The Armoured should be him.
"But I'm powerless. So... It's all going to end without me doing a thing."
He doesn't want it to end that way.
He's powerful. He knows that. He's not powerless.
And yet...
Whenever he compares himself to Gabi, he always seems so powerless compared to her.
Eren stayed silent. He didn't know what to say to Falco.
After all, what would you say to someone who's so set on eliminating the target in front of him?
Eren looked at Falco.
"Isn't it terrible?" He leaned back into the wooden chair, feeling his tense muscles relax as he turned his head to look at Eren. "I love Gabi so much, but sometimes... I'd say things like 'if only Gabi wasn't here.'" He took a deep breath before slowly exhaling, looking at the way everything around them was painted orange from the sunset.
"Gabi's so much better than me at everything. And she always, ALWAYS makes the right decisions." Falco paused for a moment, thinking to himself if the man next to him really was listening, or he's more focused on something else, seeing that he didn't say anything ever since the start of Falco's rant. The man only kept silent.
"Sometimes I almost hate it."