Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If anyone were to ask each participant in the most recent game of pall mall at Aubrey Hall how the game had gone, each would have given a different answer.

Daphne Bassett, the Duchess of Hastings (formerly Miss Daphne Bridgerton), would have said the game was an overwhelming success. Then again, she had been the victor. She would have also said the game was intriguing, though for what reason it was intriguing, she would remain vague.

Colin Bridgerton would have said the game was entertaining. He, too, would remain vague as to what it was exactly he found so entertaining, but he would give anyone who asked a look as if they should just know .

Benedict Bridgerton would have said the game was entertaining, as well as a welcome distraction while he waited to hear back from the academy. But it wasn’t distracting enough and it threw off his game.

Eloise Bridgerton would have said the game was a learning experience. Every year she let her determination to beat her elder brothers get the best of her and she slipped and made mistakes. But she watched their technique closely this time and she was determined she would beat them next time they played.

Kate Sharma would have said the game was exciting, invigorating, and unexpected. Exciting because she fell into a natural camaraderie with the other Bridgertons that she had yet to experience during her entire stay in London. Invigorating because she was besting the viscount at this game he had played more than she and her competitive nature was delighting in the frustrated growls he kept trying to smother. Unexpected because she never thought it possible that she and the viscount would ever laugh over the same thing. Hell, she had been surprised that he could laugh. It was the most genuine show of emotion she had ever seen from him. But then his eyes darkened at some point over her shoulder-his father’s grave, as she found out-and the serious viscount was back; barely saying anything to her as he stormed off back to the house.

Anthony Bridgerton would have said the game was distracting and unexpected. Distracting because he didn’t have the Mallet of Death, he had to check his behaviour since his intended was also playing, and Kate Sharma was infuriatingly good at this game for one who had never played before. Unexpected because he had found himself laughing with the elder Miss Sharma. Laughing and covered in mud . He couldn’t help himself. The situation was just so ridiculous! But then he saw the bench he knew was near his father’s grave and his mind shut down.

Edwina Sharma would have said the game was unexpected, disheartening, awkward, and disappointing. She was not as athletic as her sister was. The most exercise Edwina did was promenading in the park or dancing around the ballroom. She knew she would be terrible and she was right, but she had started out the game with high hopes. She was determined it would be a pleasant time spent with who might be her future in-laws.

Edwina had not expected the exuberance or the bloodthirstiness of the Bridgertons. She should have expected her sister to get caught up in all of the excitement. But Edwina couldn’t let herself get caught up in the same way. She was here to conduct herself with grace and elegance and prove she would make a worthy viscountess.

It was disheartening because she didn’t have the instant chemistry with the other Bridgertons that seemed to come so naturally to Kate. Each of them cheered when she bested the viscount or laughed when she said something witty. None of them had been anything like that with Edwina. Oh, none of them were rude to her. They were all so very nice and polite. There was Benedict with a reminder of “Miss Edwina, it’s your turn,” and Colin with a polite “That shot is difficult for even the most seasoned of players,” when she failed to get her ball through a wicket that everyone else had sailed through with perfect ease. 

Eloise would nod sympathetically and tell her “Better luck next time.” 

Daphne would assure her constantly that her brothers were “usually much better behaved than this.” 

Lord Bridgerton would give her pointers on where to hold her mallet, how hard she should tap the ball, and in which direction she should try to send it. Nobody complained that his help might be considered cheating. There wasn’t enough coaching in the world that would make Edwina successful at pall mall.

The game was awkward because of the clapping . Everybody else’s turns were so… lively . It didn’t matter if they were successful or not. Each play was met with hoots, hollers, banter, cheers, jumping around and screaming, groans, boos, and the occasional accusation of cheating. But each time Edwina had her turn, she would turn around to look at the Bridgertons and they were all smiling and clapping politely. There were no cheers or jeers. Nobody said anything until the next player took their turn. Then all of that excited energy came back in full force.

Even Lord Bridgerton telling her things like “not to worry, Miss Edwina. I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it,” was starting to feel rather patronizing.

It was disappointing because she had been so determined to try at the game and really bond with the people she might soon call her family, but everyone was just looking at her when she was offered to either keep playing or bow out while she was behind. Edwina chose to bow out.

Later, when the game had ended, Edwina was in the library looking for a book when she heard some of the Bridgertons in the corridor. She wouldn’t be seen by them, where she was standing, but one couldn’t be too careful. Edwina took the book she had been skimming through and hid behind the door. She still needed some time to collect her thoughts after that disastrous game of pall mall. Maybe she wouldn’t win over her future in-laws over a lawn game, but she was determined to get to know each of them during this country visit and win them over in other ways.

Eavesdropping was not precisely proper behavior for a diamond, but these were desperate times and she needed an edge if she was to succeed.

“...believe Daphne won again ,” Eloise was complaining. “She is going to be unbearable at dinner tonight, you know.”

“Oh, I’m well aware,” Colin agreed. “It was still a rather enjoyable game, was it not?” It seemed as though they all paused just outside of the library. Perfect! Edwina would be able to hear all that they have to say. Maybe they would allude to her and Anthony. More importantly, maybe they would allude to when Edwina might finally expect a proposal. She’s been practicing her surprised face in the mirror whenever she’s been alone. It’s quite a good face if Edwina said so herself. In another life, she could have been an actress on the stage.

“I daresay that’s the most fun I’ve had playing that game in years,” said Benedict. “Even Anthony seemed livelier than usual.”

“I noticed that, too. Do you think it might have anything to do with one of the newer players?” Colin wondered, hinting at something in his voice. In spite of her poor performance at pall mall, Edwina finds herself smiling behind the book she’s holding, even though there is nobody around to see it.

“In spite of my losing, and as much as this pains me to say, I have to agree with the two of you,” admitted Eloise. “Benedict, that was the most fun we’ve all had playing a game of pall mall in years and that includes Anthony. Colin, I, too think that has something to do with one of our new players.”

Edwina felt her heart soar.

“We should invite Miss Sharma back for pall mall every year!”

Edwina felt her heart stop.

“Miss Kate Sharma?” Colin asked. Eloise made a noise of confirmation.

“Er, Eloise,” Benedict said hesitantly. “You do know that Anthony has voiced his interest in making Miss Edwina his bride, yes?”

“Yes, I know,” said Eloise dismissively. “But…look, I like Miss Edwina. I really do. She may enjoy the debutante life and the balls and the dancing and the parties more than I ever will, but I still like her. She’s kind, she’s sweet, and she’s intelligent. You should hear her discuss some of the books she’s read. But today during pall mall…not everyone is as sporty or as competitive as the Bridgertons and I do not and could never fault her for that; she’s just so concerned about being the perfect debutante all the time, I could see a little bit of her crumble away with every turn.”

Edwina gripped the book in her hands tightly. Of course she was worried about being the perfect debutante! She had been training for this moment for years. All of her hard work, all of her sister’s hard work had brought her here.

“She put on a brave face, but she was miserable the whole time,” Eloise continued.

“Not everyone can take to pall mall like a Bridgerton,” Benedict said diplomatically, which Edwina was thankful for.

“Except for Miss Sharma,” Colin interjected.

“Yes!” Eloise agreed. “I’ve never seen anything like it! It’s like she’s a Bridgerton in disguise!”

Edwina felt her jaw fall open. She had stopped herself before she gasped aloud. Now was not the time to reveal she had been eavesdropping. At the same time, she desperately didn’t want to hear anymore. She wished it was possible to run from this room without being seen.

“Eloise,” Benedict said warningly. “You can’t say things like that when Anthony has been courting Miss Edwina. Hell, she’s probably expecting a proposal any day now!”

“I know, ” Eloise groaned. “But have you seen Anthony and Edwina interact? They’ve never said anything of any substance to each other. They’re both so…artificial with each other.”

Edwina hated that she was trapped in this room while they spoke so openly about her and the viscount’s courtship. She wanted to go out there and defend herself, defend their brother, defend the love blossoming between them!

“You think they’re lying to each other?” Colin asked, confused.

“No. I think they’re both playing the roles that are expected of them: Anthony as the viscount and this season’s most eligible bachelor and Miss Edwina as the season’s diamond who is expected to make an advantageous match. So of course they’re only saying things that would make the other find them agreeable enough for a marriage.”

Edwina frowned. Is that what she had been doing?

“I mean, have you seen Anthony when he’s speaking to Miss Edwina? That is not our brother. He’s so…amiable.”

There is a noise that sounds suspiciously like a snort of laughter from Colin, followed by a dull thud, and a loud “ouch!”

“I think Anthony could make her happy,” said Benedict. He was obviously the diplomat between the three of them. But was it just Edwina’s paranoia getting to her, or did Benedict sound like he wasn’t completely sold on what he was saying? “Don’t you?”

“I think he can keep her content, ” said Eloise, “not happy. She’ll have fine clothes, jewels, a large house, and eventually a gaggle of children, but that will only make her content instead of happy. Anthony wouldn’t be happy, either. You know those moods he gets into? Where he just goes quiet and moody and he’s got that empty, dead look in his eyes? If he marries Miss Edwina, then every day is going to be like that.”

This time, when Benedict spoke up in her defense, Edwina could hear the doubt in his words. “I think she would make a fine viscountess.”

“Oh, yes, she would,” Eloise readily agrees, surprising Edwina. “Don’t look so surprised!” For a moment, Edwina is horrified that Eloise had seen her but her fears came to nothing when Eloise continued speaking to her brothers. 

“I told you before that I like and admire Miss Edwina very much. I would not be averse to a friendship with her. Miss Edwina would make a great viscountess. She would make a great countess, or marchioness, or duchess, or even a princess. But Viscountess Bridgerton? I’m worried we’ll eat her alive! Not on purpose, mind you. But it would happen eventually. You can see in her eyes that Miss Edwina wants a love story. Can you honestly tell me that you think Anthony is in love with her? Or that she is in love with him? Anthony is getting married because he feels it is his duty. He wants the best for his family, so of course, he seeks out the diamond to be his bride. Miss Edwina knows that the diamond is expected to make an advantageous match and who could be more advantageous than the season’s most eligible bachelor? There’s would be a strategic match-not a love match. And it will break that poor girl’s heart every day .”

Edwina stares at the floor beneath her, desperately wishing for it to open up so that she may fall away into nothingness. She wishes she had just left the library when she had the chance. She wishes she was as brave as her sister and could confront these three Bridgertons for what they were saying.

Footsteps continue down the corridor, but Edwina stays where she is. She’s sure it was just one set of footsteps, meaning there are two Bridgertons still out there. This suspicion is confirmed when she hears one of them speak.

“You know,” said Colin, “she has a point about those two. I like Miss Edwina and I would be proud to call her my sister. If Anthony announced they were getting married tomorrow, I would do everything in my power to make her feel welcome in our family; to make her feel like a Bridgerton in both name and spirit. But, whenever I have wondered who the next Viscountess Bridgerton might be, I’d always imagined her to be someone more like Anthony.”

Edwina heard Benedict let out a long and weary sigh. “I did, too,” he admitted.

“You do know who fits that description perfectly?” Colin whispered to his brother.

“Yes, I do,” Benedict replied shortly. “But we can’t entertain that idea. Anthony has gone too far in his courtship with Miss Edwina. He’s more or less made his own marriage bed. Now he’ll have to lie in it.”

“They’re not betrothed, ” Colin reminds his brother. “Not yet. It’s not so scandalous to break off a courtship.”

“No, but breaking off a courtship with one lady just to turn around and court that same lady’s older sister would be a scandal,” hissed Benedict. “Imagine what Whistledown would say if we were to announce an engagement between Anthony and Miss Sharma instead of Anthony and Miss Edwina.”

Edwina nearly dropped the book she was holding out of shock. Kate. They were talking about Kate. They thought Kate and the viscount were better suited for one another. Edwina tried to keep her breathing quiet, even as she felt it become more frantic.

“We will speak no more about this,” Benedict said sternly. “Come along, brother.” And finally, blessedly, the two Bridgertons retreated down the corridor. Edwina looked down again at the book in her hands. She had no appetite for reading now, but she forced herself to stay in that little corner between the wall and the door. She forced herself to breathe in and out while she counted slowly to one hundred.

Finally, Edwina put the book down on a nearby table and left the library. She schooled her features into one of serene grace. She was a diamond. She was the season’s incomparable. She could not let them see how a few words had clouded her mind and made her question her own judgment. She couldn’t let them see how her mind was racing and recalling every interaction she had ever had with the viscount, every dance they had shared, and every word they had exchanged.

Had she only been playing a role? Had she only been acting as she thought a diamond should act instead of being true to herself? She knew, deep down, that the viscount was partly motivated by a sense of duty to find a wife, marry, and produce heirs. But Edwina was a romantic at heart and she hoped that he had come to have some romantic feelings for her. And if what his siblings said was true, he would never grow to love her.

Edwina was nearly back to her room when her mother intercepted her.

“There you are, Edwina!” she said. “The viscount invited you to have tea with him in the drawing room-chaperoned, of course. I think-” she broke off, looking at her daughter’s face. “Edwina, are you alright, darling?”

Edwina shook her head. “I’m fine, mama,” she lied. “But I’m afraid I have a small headache and I was hoping to lie down before dinner. Could you give my apologies to Lord Bridgerton? And could you ask someone to bring me up a cup of tea?”

Mary said “Of course,” before she kissed Edwina’s forehead briefly and headed back down the stairs. Edwina shut herself in her room, slipped out of her dress, and donned her dressing gown while waiting for her tea. She would drink it before crawling under the covers and closing her eyes. Perhaps her thoughts would stop racing after a short nap. Maybe then, she could look at her courtship with the viscount with a clear mind and in a new light.

Chapter Text

Though Edwina did not truly feel unwell, and in fact, felt better after her impromptu nap, her mother had insisted that she continue her rest and take a tray in her room for dinner. So that she wouldn’t feel lonely, Kate ate with her. They sat at a small table in the room for their dinner while Edwina assured Kate that she was fine.

“I think it was just the journey here combined with the exertions of the pall mall game,” Edwina lied. “It was truly just a small headache and nothing more.” Edwina never lied and now she had lied twice in one day. Once to her mother and a second time to Kate. All in the space of a few hours!

“Did you enjoy playing today?” Edwina couldn’t help asking.

Kate sighed. “As loathe as I am to admit it, I think that game was the most fun I’ve had since we came to England.”

Unbidden, the voice of Eloise Bridgerton echoed in Edwina’s mind.

It’s like she’s a Bridgerton in disguise!

Edwina hummed, bringing her goblet of wine primly to her lips. “And how long did it take you to get all of the mud off of you?” she asked innocently.

Kate laughed. “Too long! I won’t be surprised if I find some tomorrow.”

Edwina laughed, too. The look on their mama’s face when she saw the mud on Kate’s dress and on Kate was a memory she would cherish forever. She hesitated for a moment before casually mentioning “Lord Bridgerton was covered in mud, too, from what I hear.”

Kate looked guilty about that. “I’m not too proud to admit that was my fault,” she admitted. “I got my foot stuck in the mud and he tried to help pull me out.”

“Oh,” Edwina said, with a teasing smile, “so you were a damsel in distress? Just like in those stories you would read to me?”

Kate just rolled her eyes. “I was stuck and I needed some help. Lord Bridgerton just happened to be there,” she corrected. “Anyway, we both ended up falling over in the mud and making a mess of ourselves. But-and I would savour this moment, Edwina, because I’m about to say something nice about the viscount-he was kind enough to cushion most of my fall.”

Edwina smiled. “Well! It seems miracles can happen after all.”

“Yes, well, don’t get used to it,” Kate said dismissively. She tried to hide her smile behind her goblet of wine but Edwina still saw it.

“I heard Miss Edwina was feeling unwell,” Daphne said when she entered Anthony’s study. “I am sorry to hear that.”

Anthony grunted, not looking up from his papers. “Her mother said it was just a headache. She thought it must be because of the journey from London and our game.”

Daphne walked over toward the desk, hands clasped behind her back. “Ah, yes. I had wondered if that might have something to do with it.” She flipped open a book on the end of Anthony’s desk and began to skim through the pages. “She did not appear to be having much fun.” She was making an understatement. Daphne had been watching Miss Edwina for the entire game. When the girl had started out the game with the mindset of being a pleasant afternoon, Daphne knew that Miss Edwina Sharma would not be a repeat player of pall mall.

With every turn and every missed wicket, she could see Miss Edwina’s face fall. The easy smile she plastered on at the beginning of the game became strained.

“Well, how could she have done?” Anthony asked, finally looking at his sister. “When the lot of you were being downright gladiatorial out there?”

Daphne laughed. “As if the game could be played any other way!” Bridgertons were not known for their sportsman-like conduct in most games played amongst themselves. They were known for being bloodthirsty, cutthroat, and ruthless; none more so than Anthony. Except, every time it was Miss Edwina’s turn, he became a changed man. He became the textbook suitor that women dreamed about and fawned over. He tried to coach her through each turn with gentle instructions. Anthony was never gentle with instructions. He barked instructions. Frequently. Daphne’s ears were still ringing from the time Anthony tried to help Eloise with her arithmetic lessons. It became a rule after that day that Benedict would be the go-to teacher when it came to teaching anything related to numbers.

“I was surprised she played for as long as she did,” Anthony answered honestly. He smiled and shook his head, looking back to his papers. “It is no matter. Miss Edwina did not have to win a silly game in order to win my heart.”

Silly game? Anthony never called pall mall a silly game. It was his highlight of any stay at Aubrey Hall. And win his heart? Where had this sentiment come from?

Daphne screwed up her face in confusion. “Who are you and what have you done with my brother?” Daphne demanded to know.

Anthony sighed and rolled his eyes at his sister. “Daph-”

“Miss Sharma seemed to take to pall mall quite…enthusiastically,” Daphne said, quickly changing the subject.

“Enthusiastic is one word for it,” Anthony grumbled. “Ruthless and cutthroat would be two, much better, words.”

It took everything in Daphne not to snort. He used the same words to describe her as she did to describe him.

“But yes, she was quite spirited during the game. She’s rather intelligent, as much as I hate to admit it, and she took to the game quite naturally. It’s almost like it was second nature to her,” Anthony admitted, sounding a little in awe. “If Colin hadn’t sabotaged her, she probably could’ve won.”

Ah, yes. Colin’s “sabotage.”

Daphne had hissed in his ear as they went to the next wicket. “I know you did that on purpose,” she accused.

Colin grinned back at her. “Prove it,” he dared her with a wink.

“If she hadn’t sabotaged me , I could have won,” Anthony said petulantly. “Mark my words, next year I will have my mallet back. Next year, I will be the champion. Then I can rub it in Miss Sharma’s face.”

“Oh, so you’re going to invite her back again next year?” Daphne asked with interest. Anthony looked at her like she was an idiot.

“Of course I am, Daphne. How else am I supposed to rub it in her face when I win?” he asked as if his reasons were obvious. This stupid, stupid man didn’t even realize what he said, had he?

“Well, that’s very kind of you, brother,” Daphne said. “To invite the woman who will be your sister-in-law back to our pall mall game shows that you care about Miss Edwina’s relationship with her family. I think that’s very thoughtful of you, indeed.”

Daphne had to turn to the bookshelves behind Anthony’s desk to try and school her expression before she burst into uncontrollable laughter. Anthony’s flabbergasted look told Daphne all she needed to know.

When Edwina awoke and dressed the next morning, she found some paper and a quill and sat down to make a battle plan for the rest of her stay at Aubrey Hall.

Item 1- Find out if Lord Bridgerton wants to marry me for love or for duty.

Edwina bit her lip. She had already admitted to herself yesterday that the viscount was at least partly motivated by duty to marry her. As viscount, it was expected of him to find a suitable lady, marry, be fruitful, and multiply. Even his brothers and sister had said as much.

Kate had said as much, come to think of it. When her sister had made that list of least objectionable suitors for Edwina’s hand and Lord Bridgerton was not among the names written, she had stated her reasons for not including him quite plainly.

Item 1-Find out if Lord Bridgerton wants to marry me for love or for duty as well as duty.

Edwina looked down at her amended first item and nodded approvingly.

Item 2- Find out what Lord Bridgerton expects his marriage to be like.

This, Edwina decided, would be a rather crucial and telling piece of information. It wasn’t like she wanted him to stay by her side at all hours of the day and look at her lovingly while whispering sweet nothings in her ear.

…alright, she did want that just a little bit. But Edwina had to be more realistic. Lord Bridgerton was a viscount! He had his estate, his tenants, and his family to look after! He had to go into parliament . He couldn’t go into parliament and whisper sweet nothings into her ear at the same time!

But she didn’t want to be the little wife left at home all the time. She didn’t want to just sit there with her hands folded in her lap and wait for her husband to come back home.

Surely there had to be a happy medium between those two extremes?

Item 3- Find out more about Lord Bridgerton: his interests, fears, favourite food, favourite color, favourite books, or a story from his childhood are all examples of acceptable personal topics to inquire about.

Eloise Bridgerton’s voice floated into her head again.

Have you seen Anthony and Edwina interact? They’ve never said anything of any substance to each other.

She didn’t want to admit it, but Eloise was right. When Edwina thought about her past conversations with Lord Bridgerton, she could recall some of the broader topics they spoke about, but she was unable to recall any specific thing. They never had any deep and meaningful conversations with the man. She had probably had more thought-provoking conversations with Eloise or Colin Bridgerton, come to think of it.

Granted, things like preferred colors and foods weren’t particularly deep or thought-provoking, but there was only so much one could discuss in polite company. She would have two chaperones in the room with them, after all.

Item 4- Speak my mind more often. Be a little less like a diamond and a little more like me.

Why must Eloise’s voice be constantly stuck in her brain? And why must it make so many well-thought points?

I think they’re both playing the roles that are expected of them, Miss Eloise had said. They’re only saying things that would make the other find them agreeable enough for a marriage.

Well, Edwina could let the mask slip for a little bit. She had been constantly on edge, making sure she was saying the right things to all of her suitors, not just Lord Bridgerton. Maybe she should let a little bit of her real self show. After all, it wasn’t like she’d be able to keep up her performance as the diamond of the season throughout her entire marriage.

Edwina bounced her leg up and down as she mulled over what her final item should be.

Whenever I wondered who the next Viscountess Bridgerton might be, I’d always imagined her to be someone more like Anthony, Colin Bridgerton’s voice echoed through her mind. You do know who fits that description perfectly?

Edwina breathed deeply and committed her last item to her list.

Item 5- Carefully observe Kate and Lord Bridgerton.

She blew on the paper until it was well and truly dry. Then she carefully folded her battle plan and hid it at the bottom of her trunk. Voices passing by her door reminded Edwina of the time and she hurried out of her bedroom to join the others for breakfast. 

She opened her bedroom door just in time to hear Francesca Bridgerton insist to her sister “-it’s true. One of the Smythe-Smith girls told me!”

Eloise Bridgerton scoffed. “It sounds like utter tosh!”

“Good morning!” Edwina said brightly. The two girls stopped in their tracks and curtsied to their guest. “What have the Smythe-Smith girls been saying now?” she asked when she finished her own curtsy.

“It’s about men ,” Eloise said with an eye roll.

Francesca frowned. “It could be useful,” she protested. She turned back to Edwina as the girls walked down the corridor. “One of the Smythe-Smith girls told me that there was a way to tell if a man is really interested in you or not,” she explained. Well, now Edwina had to know more.

“Surely a man shows you through his actions as well as his words. What other way could there be?” she asked curiously.

“It is not what he says, but more…what he does without realizing he’s doing it,” Francesca elaborated, much to Edwina’s further confusion. “Apparently, a man points his feet toward what he wants. If you see a man speaking with a lady, but his feet are turned away from her, then you know he’s not truly interested. And if his feet are turned toward the lady he is speaking with, well, that is where his mind and heart really lie.”

“Does it work with ladies, too?” Eloise asked. “If I work out how to turn my feet completely around backward, will all these men get the hint?”

“I imagine it must be the same for ladies,” Francesca said. “Though I think, dear sister, that your words will be sufficient enough to drive off the men. There is no need to endanger your osteopathic health.”

Edwina didn’t know the Bridgertons very well yet, but she had gathered that Francesca was one of the quieter Bridgertons and so she was surprised by the unexpected bit of sarcasm from the girl. Eloise, equally so.

After breakfast, Edwina is issued another invitation to tea with Lord Bridgerton in the drawing room later that day. This time, she knows she can’t feign another headache and will simply have to go.

She is, admittedly, not quite as excited about the prospect as she would have been yesterday. Still, Edwina puts on one of her favourite pink dresses, smiles one of her prettiest smiles, and walks with Lady Danbury to the drawing room.

“You’re not nervous, are you?” Lady Danbury asked her as they walked down the stairs.

Edwina bit her lip. “Perhaps a little,” she admitted. “But I am looking forward to speaking with the viscount and learning more about him. There’s only so much one can say when dancing in a ballroom.”

Lady Danbury nodded in agreement. “Yes. I quite agree with you, Miss Edwina.”

“I think this will be a most enlightening encounter, indeed,” Edwina couldn’t help adding. She smiled brightly, hoping that Lady Danbury wouldn’t read too much into it.

The viscount stood near his mother, conversing with her, his hands behind his back. With the light coming through the windows hitting his hair and lighting his face, he looked quite handsome.

The tapping of Lady Danbury’s cane alerted the two Bridgertons of their arrival. Lord Bridgerton turned toward the ladies and bowed his head.

“Lady Danbury. Miss Edwina. Thank you for joining us,” he said politely.

“It was kind of you to invite me,” Edwina replied. “I hope I did not keep you waiting.”

“Not at all,” Lord Bridgerton assured her. Lady Bridgerton offered to pour tea for everyone, which Edwina declined, as did Lord Bridgerton. He led her over to the sofa by the window while Lady Danbury and his mother stayed sitting at the table with the tea service.

Edwina sat down on one end of the sofa with her hands folded in her lap, while Lord Bridgerton sat down on the opposite end. It wasn’t a large sofa, so they weren’t terribly far apart. Still, there was enough distance and enough chaperones for everything to be entirely proper.

“I’m sorry to hear that the pall mall game was taxing for you,” Lord Bridgerton apologized.

Edwina shook her head. “It is of little consequence, my lord,” she assured him.

“My brothers and sisters…they can be wearying,” he said.

“I find it is impossible to grow weary in the fresh country air,” Edwina said automatically. She realized a second too late that this was the wrong thing to say. Everyone thought she had developed a headache during the previous day’s game. Obviously, it was entirely possible for her to grow weary in the fresh country air.

Eloise had said she was concerned with being the perfect diamond all the time. Eloise had been right.

Lord Bridgerton, thankfully, did not seem to notice her flub. He just nodded and amiably said, “That is a happy outlook.”

Have you seen Anthony when he speaks to Miss Edwina? He’s so…amiable.

Edwina smiled as her thoughts raced. Just because he’s amiable with her, that didn’t mean Eloise was right.

“You shall need it if you are to spend much more time with the Bridgertons,” he continued.

Edwina let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and nodded. She bit her lip, trying to think of what to say next. She didn’t want to have Lady Danbury question her if her behaviour seemed off.

Item 1 , Edwina remembered, find out if Lord Bridgerton wants to marry me for love as well as duty.

Edwina looked down at their feet and Francesca’s words from the morning came back to her in a rush: the direction a man pointed his feet would tell you if he had an interest in the woman in front of him or not.

The viscount’s feet were pointed toward the wall opposite the sofa.

Item 2- Find out what Lord Bridgerton expects his marriage to be like.

“Do you imagine you should like to raise your family out here, in the country, my lord?” she asked him. It was probably one of the most direct questions she ever asked him. But he had asked her how many children she would like the night they met. It was only fair.

Lord Bridgerton looked out the window, then down at his hands in his lap. “It is likely,” he began, “my responsibilities will keep me moving around quite often.” This, Edwina already knew and somewhat expected. Still, she nodded. “It is entirely possible there will be stretches of time where I’ll be apart from my children. My wife, too.”

Edwina nodded, smiling. She opened her mouth to say something along the lines of “I do look forward to supporting my husband in whatever his endeavors may be.” But she stopped herself as she remembered her battle plan again.

Item 4- Speak my mind more often. Be a little less like a diamond and a little more like me.

“How often do your responsibilities keep you moving around, my lord?” she asked primly. “I know there are sessions in parliament that will take you to London for long stretches of time.”

“Er, yes,” he replied. He hadn’t expected her response. “There are also various meetings I will have to attend. And there are, of course, my tenants that I must see to. So, it’s quite often that my responsibilities keep me moving around. Quite often, indeed.”

Edwina nodded again in understanding. “And how long would these stretches of time be where you would be away from your wife and children?” she asked. “I know if your business took you away for a short period of time or an extraordinarily long period of time, then bringing along your family would be more trouble than it’s worth. But surely there must be a number somewhere in the middle where you find yourself in want of the company of your wife and children. Especially if you’re going to stay somewhere like, say, Bridgerton House and not some roadside inn.”

The viscount opened and closed his mouth several times but no sound came out. Oh, lord, Edwina had broken him. She kept her smile on her face, even as she saw Lady Bridgerton and Lady Danbury exchange looks with each other over the viscount's shoulder.

“I suppose it would depend…” Lord Bridgerton finally said. “It would depend on the temperament and the health of each child. I do speak from experience when I say even if you have the help of a nurse, some children, especially very young children, don’t take to carriage rides well.”

Edwina nodded in understanding. There was a large age gap between the viscount and his youngest brother and sisters. He remembered all too well what traveling with a baby must be like.

“That sounds quite understandable, my lord,” said Edwina. She decided to shift back into the role of debutante again, lest she scare Lord Bridgerton so much that he decided to turn her and her family out of the house until the rest of the ton arrived for the country party and the ball.

“I do look forward to supporting my husband in whatever his endeavors may be,” she said sweetly. She watched the tension go out of the viscount’s shoulders. Behind him, she also saw their chaperones relax again, and go back to pretending not to listen.

“You do express yourself so agreeably, Miss Edwina,” he complimented her. “It is refreshing and rare indeed.”

But debutantes such as herself were supposed to be agreeable. How could it be rare when she knew very well that all the other young ladies did the same?

Edwina looked down at her hands again. Perhaps she could strike a balance between the diamond and the woman. “Though, to be clear my lord,” she said, “that is not to say I do not have a mind of my own.”

She saw Lady Danbury angle her head in their direction and Lady Bridgerton freeze in doing her embroidery.

“I have found that one may easily remain agreeable when one also has inner resources.” Here, Edwina thought, she could bring up her interests and find a way to segue into discovering some of his.

Item 3- Find out more about Lord Bridgerton.

“I myself am fortunate to have found a love for literature, but also of learning as well.”

Lord Bridgerton, amazingly enough, seemed to be hanging on her every word. He looked around and leaned in a little closer to her with a smile.

“I must admit to you,” he began. Edwina felt herself waiting with bated breath. It felt as if he were about to tell her some secret. “The only books I have read this year are ledgers of the estate’s accounts. And um…” His voice dropped to a whisper. “They’re all dreadfully boring.”

In spite of herself, Edwina couldn’t help giggling. He was funny. Playful, in his humor. He would be a wonderful father.

Slow down, Edwina , she admonished herself. Slow down.

“So you do not have time to read,” Edwina concluded. “And I am in need of someone to tell about my stories.” She sighed dreamily. “I so enjoy talking of books.”

“Go on, then,” Lord Bridgerton encouraged.

And so she did. But Edwina couldn’t help glancing down every so often. While Lord Bridgerton was very attentive with his eyes and with his smiles and encouraging words, his feet were always pointed away from her.

“How did your tea with Lord Bridgerton go?” Kate asked as they took a turn about the gardens.

“He’s quite funny,” Edwina admitted. She resisted the urge to pick a flower for herself. She didn’t want to ruin the gardener’s work.

“A good thing, I suppose,” Kate said reluctantly.

“Intelligent, too,” Edwina added.

“I would not have expected otherwise.”

Edwina turned her head to look at her sister. “Why, Kate! I do believe that is the second nice thing you’ve said about the viscount in as many days.” Kate shook her head, giving a small laugh at her sister’s teasing.

“I only mean that for the Bridgertons to be doing as well as they are, the viscount has to have at least half of a brain,” she stated. Kate bit her lip, considering what to say next. “What-what did you talk about?” she asked.

Edwina shrugged. “His family to begin with.”

Kate jumped on that small piece of information like a predator pouncing on its prey. “So it was all about him then? Bon, if the conversation felt one-sided-”

“Only it did not!” Edwina interrupted. Even though her mind was still clouded by everything she had overheard the day before, she knew that at least the conversation wasn’t one-sided. Or it hadn’t felt one-sided “He asked questions about myself and about our family. He was very attentive to everything I had to say. He even let me go on and on about books, which was very kind of him.”

But when Edwina thought back to that conversation, she realized that he had focused the conversation entirely on her and had expertly dodged any inquiries she made about him. She had learned nothing about him. Perhaps the conversation had been one-sided after all.

Edwina watched as Kate chewed at her bottom lip. Her mind seemed miles away. “Well, I-I only hope his intentions were genuine and nothing less.”

Yes, so do I, Edwina thought to herself.

Chapter Text

Edwina’s stomach was in knots as the time for dinner inched closer and closer. When she had found a few minutes alone in the bedroom, she brought out her battle plan again and made notes on what she had learned so far.

Item 1-Find out if Lord Bridgerton wants to marry me for love or for duty as well as duty.

Item 2- Find out what Lord Bridgerton expects his marriage to be like.

Kate had warned her of him when she first met Lord Bridgerton. She told her quite plainly how he only planned to marry for duty and had no intention of loving his wife. She had even made mention-out of their mama’s earshot-about how he would no doubt find comfort in the arms of a mistress once an heir had been produced.

Edwina was a romantic. Edwina wanted a love match. She knew that men such as Lord Bridgerton must marry out of a sense of duty. But Edwina was optimistic and hopeful that perhaps, Lord Bridgerton would grow to love her, should the two of them marry.

But the way he spoke in the library today made her think otherwise. It seemed as if he was trying to warn her, very gently, of what their marriage would be like. He would leave her and their children in the country while he went to London. Edwina knew that she couldn’t be expected to join every time he went to London. And if she tried to insist on joining him, she would just be considered another nagging, clingy wife. And Edwina would be left wondering: was every trip to London one of important business? Or would they be to see to his mistress?

If Lord Bridgerton did not desire love in his marriage and only wanted to marry her for love, is that something Edwina could learn to live with?

Item 3- Find out more about Lord Bridgerton .

This she had failed to do. All she knew was that he liked the game of pall mall the previous day, the only books he had read in the past year were the ledgers of the estate’s accounts, and he had seven brothers and sisters (named alphabetically, B-H). Was she not trying hard enough to learn about him or was he purposely not letting her know anything about him? No matter. If she had to, she would just befriend his siblings and find out what she could from them.

Item 4- Speak my mind more often. Be a little less like a diamond and a little more like me.

This was one Edwina needed to work on. Maybe she should ease into this. She seemed to have startled the viscount earlier. The conversation had been salvaged, but still. And Lady Danbury had looked at her as if she had grown a second head for the rest of the afternoon.

Item 5- Carefully observe Kate and Lord Bridgerton.

Edwina did not doubt for a second that her sister did not like the viscount at all. But did the viscount also dislike her sister? It did seem so, most of the time. They would both be in the same room at dinner. It would be an opportunity for her to watch him carefully.

At the bottom of Edwina’s battle plan, she added a few notes:

• The viscount’s reasons for marriage seem to lean more toward a sense of duty(?)
• The viscount seems to anticipate distance between his wife and possible children. Viscount responsibilities or succumbing to his vices?
• The viscount seemed startled when I tried to confront him about his idea of marriage. Try easing into more serious topics in the future.

Satisfied with her work, if not with the stay at Aubrey Hall as a whole thus far, Edwina put her battle plan away again and tried to steel her nerves ahead of dinner.

Benedict Bridgerton was acting strange. Edwina had to keep biting her lip to keep herself from laughing. She risked glancing down the table at Kate and almost lost her composure at seeing her sister’s expression. Kate, also, seemed as if she was trying very hard not to laugh.

Lady Bridgerton’s smile kept looking strained every time she looked at her second eldest son.

Colin Bridgerton was trying, unsuccessfully, to rein in his brother.

Eloise Bridgerton was doing the worst at hiding her laughter.

Lord Bridgerton seemed intent on trying to ignore the antics of his younger brothers and was staring intently down at his plate.

Edwina could hear Benedict whispering in wonder as his head lolled about from side to side. What exactly he was whispering, Edwina could not say. Being three seats away was just enough of a distance that she couldn’t hear anything specific.

Benedict, it seemed, had become aware that the whole table could not hear him as he whispered. He rectified this by loudly announcing “...we SIT among the STARS .”

“What is wrong with you?” Eloise said through a laugh. Edwina, admittedly, was wondering the same thing.

The Duchess of Hastings decided now was as good a time as any to try and distract her from what was going on further down the table. “Are you enjoying your time here, Miss Edwina?” she asked kindly.

“I am, very much,” Edwina answered. It was a lie, but it was a better answer than “Actually, I was enjoying my time here . Then I heard three of your siblings talking about how they don’t think your brother and I would make a good couple and how our marriage would be a disaster and my mind has been racing ever since. Also, did you know that a man’s feet are like a compass that points to what they truly desire? If that’s true, then your brother wanted nothing more than to run through the wall during our tea today. But other than that, yes, I've enjoyed my time here, your grace.”

But Edwina was not one to start drama during dinner, so she kept her racing thoughts to herself. This included her mental count of how many times Lord Bridgerton had looked over at Kate during dinner. Now, she couldn’t be really sure he was looking at Kate specifically. But he was looking to his right and he was definitely looking further down the table than the Duchess of Hastings or Gregory Bridgerton.

If he was looking at Kate, it had happened at least seven times now.

Edwina had risked a casual glance down the table a few times when she saw Lord Bridgerton staring. She kept a smile on her face and darted her eyes around from person to person, just in case the Duchess should notice what she was doing. She felt at ease every time she saw that Kate was not looking back.

“The buzz of the city is thrilling indeed,” Edwina continued, “but I quite enjoy the peace of the country.” At least this was closer to the truth.

“As do I,” the viscount interjected. “Though I dare say, it is not quite so peaceful with my entire family in residence.” She saw his eyes flash down her side of the table and she knew he was referring to Benedict. Edwina followed his line of sight and laughed lightly.

“I understand, my lord,” Edwina said. She was well aware that she had slipped completely back into her role as the diamond as she lowered her head demurely when she turned to speak with him again. “Certainly, I cannot compare my family with your seven brothers and sisters.” Edwina looked over at Kate and smiled as she thought back to their childhoods. 

“But my sister and I were known to be a handful growing up, too,” she finished, smiling widely. Edwina turned back to the viscount. His eyes were not focused on her, but down the table again. He had a wistful look in his eye as he rubbed at his chin.

Kate. He was looking at Kate again.

That brought it up to eight times he had looked at her.

If he had looked at her seven times before, that is. Edwina could not be quite certain about those seven other times. He was most assuredly looking at her this time, though.

It was Edwina’s own fault. She brought Kate up in conversation, after all.

“Hm,” Lord Bridgerton said. He cut his eyes over to Edwina briefly before looking back down the table at Kate. “I can imagine.”

Did that count as nine? No. Edwina was going to keep the number at eight for now.

She needed to look at his feet the next time he was in a room with Kate and everyone's feet weren't hidden underneath the table.

“But Kate has always had my best interests at heart,” Edwina continued. In spite of her heart pounding against her chest as the viscount was staring down the table at her sister, she couldn’t help but sing Kate’s praises. She loved Kate dearly and she wasn’t always given the attention and credit she deserved. So Edwina kept looking at the viscount’s face and pretended nothing was wrong.

“She bears a heavy responsibility for our family,” said Edwina.

“That sounds remarkably similar to you, Anthony,” the Duchess of Hastings commented. Remarkably, this seemed to break the viscount from his trance-like state as he turned to look at his sister. “Much familial responsibility to bear, indeed.”

The Duchess had a point there, come to think of it. Both Kate and the viscount were the eldest siblings. Both had lost their fathers at young ages. Both seemed to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders where their families were concerned.

Perhaps that was why Colin Bridgerton had said…what he had said.

Lord Bridgerton looked down the table again.

Nine times.

Edwina decided that her plate was interesting enough for now.

There was a commotion further down the table when Benedict knocked over his glass of wine and immediately dissolved into giggles.

“Benedict dear,” Lady Bridgerton said through a strained smile, “you alarm our guests.”

Kate, at least, seemed entertained by the Bridgerton’s antics.

She’s like a Bridgerton in disguise!

“It’s quite alright, Lady Bridgerton,” Kate assured their hostess.

Lady Danbury, it seemed, had decided that enough was enough, and she should try and distract everyone from whatever was going on with the second-eldest Bridgerton.

“Perhaps…” she called out to the table. She raised her glass and tapped gently against the side of it to get everyone’s attention. “...it is time for a toast.”

“A good idea,” Lady Bridgerton agreed. “To cheer our guests.”

“ Or ,” said Lady Danbury, “to tend to other pressing matters.” The atmosphere in the room changed in an instant. There wasn’t a soul at that table that didn’t know exactly what Lady Danbury was referring to.

Edwina’s heart, which had only just slowed down again, picked up its pace again and then doubled it. Her grip around her wine glass tightened. She turned her head and looked at the viscount again.

Lord Bridgerton was staring down at the table cloth. She could see a muscle in his jaw twitch and how heavy his breathing had become. And that look in his eyes!

You know those moods he gets into? Where he just goes quiet and moody and he’s got that empty, dead look in his eyes?

Edwina hadn’t been sure what Eloise had meant at the time, but she could see it now. This was not the look of a man in love. This was not even the look of a man who was prepared and willing to do his duty. This was the look of a man who was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders all the way to the gallows.

Lord Bridgerton looked down the table again.

Ten times.

Edwina heard Kate murmuring something down the table, maybe an excuse to try and get her out of the room. She had never been more grateful for her sister’s overprotective nature than she had been right now.

Suddenly, Lord Bridgerton stood. “A toast! Yes,” he said abruptly. He cleared his throat several times. The whole room was silent. Edwina could feel every pair of eyes in the room lock on to her.

The viscount raised his glass. “My sincere gratitude to the Sharmas for joining us,” he said, indicating first her mama, then Kate, and then Edwina herself with his glass. He turned back to the table at large. “It has been splendid having you here to witness what is now my second annual loss at pall mall.” The table erupted into giggles.

“Not to be repeated, I assure you,” Lord Bridgerton continued, earning more laughter from the table. Then, he turned toward her. Edwina felt her blood turn to ice in her veins and the bottom of her stomach drop out, but she kept her smile on her face. “And my special gratitude to Miss Edwina. It has certainly been a privilege to truly make your acquaintance these past days.”

Edwina prayed that was the end of the speech. She didn’t know if she was capable of forming any kind of answer without her dinner coming back up.

“In fact,” continued Lord Bridgerton, “I believe there is a question I’d like to ask you.”

Edwina felt her breath quicken while the rest of the room seemed to be holding theirs. She looked up at the viscount, waiting for his question. Waiting for the question.

And she didn’t even know what she would give as an answer.

Lord Bridgerton looked down at his feet and then down the table again.

Edwina swallowed.

Eleven times.

“I should like to, uh…” he stammered, looking back at her. He looked away again as he considered his words.

“I should like to ask you,” said Lord Bridgerton, looking at her again, “to please …refrain from telling anyone back in London about yesterday’s loss. I fear the harm to my reputation would simply be too great.”

Edwina’s heart may still be beating, but she felt it shatter into a million tiny pieces. Her last shred of hope that she didn’t even know she was still desperately holding on to was ripped violent from her grasp. 

Lord Bridgerton did not love her. Lord Bridgerton would never grow to love her. Lord Bridgerton did not even want to marry her. Oh, he might feel as if he should marry her. He was a viscount in need of heirs. She was a lady in need of a husband. He was the season’s most eligible bachelor in search of a wife. She was the season’s diamond. On paper, they made the perfect match; the most sensible match.

But she thought back to that look he had had in his eyes when the entire table realized that Lady Danbury was angling for a proposal to happen. His head might certainly be in favor of the match. His heart is most certainly not.

Edwina half-heartedly lifted her wine glass to “pleasant days ahead” and the entire table remained in an awkward silence for the remainder of the meal.

With her eyes closed while Kate rubbed oil into her hair, Edwina mentally went over her list and crossed off items she deemed no longer relevant.

Item 1-Find out if Lord Bridgerton wants to marry me for love or for duty as well as duty .

Duty. It was duty. If he was a man who truly wanted to propose to her, he would have done it on their first day at Aubrey Hall. If not on the first day, he could have done it earlier today. He could’ve asked for a private audience with her after their tea and asked her then.

Or he could have at least made it known to Lady Danbury exactly when he planned on proposing, if he did plan to at all, so she wouldn’t have tried to force the issue at dinner in front of the rest of the Bridgertons.

Item 2- Find out what Lord Bridgerton expects his marriage to be like.

This she knew before dinner. He had laid it out quite clearly. Or at least, it seemed clear when she had time to reflect on what he said at a later time. If they married, they would be friendly but distant. She would provide him with heirs and then he would go back to his mistress.

Item 3- Find out more about Lord Bridgerton .

Edwina still hadn’t accomplished much on this item. Not that she hadn’t tried! When they first sat down to dinner, she had turned to the Duchess of Hastings sitting across from her and asked “Are you the one I should go to for any childhood stories about your brother, your grace?” 

The duchess laughed and Edwina saw the viscount’s ears turn red. “I have a few stories from his years as a teenager,” she said slyly. “If you want any stories of what he was like as a boy, then Benedict would usually be the one to ask. But he…doesn’t seem to be feeling like himself tonight. I’m sure my mama would be happy to share some stories as well.”

The only thing Edwina managed to learn about him was from the Duchess of Hastings, when she had drawn a comparison between the viscount and her sister. And Edwina couldn’t even deny the truth of the comparison! The duchess was right.

Besides, what would even be the point of trying to learn more about him now? He didn't want to marry her. Not really. And even if he had asked, did she really want to accept him now, knowing all that she knew? Lord Bridgerton might be able to live without love in his marriage, but Edwina could not say the same.

Edwina could hear the wheels in Kate’s head spin as she continued to massage the oil into her hair and scalp.

“You must know you did nothing wrong,” Kate told her gently.

It was enough for the dam to break. Edwina felt her lip tremble before she dropped her head into her hands and let out a sob.

Kate’s arms were around her in an instant. “I knew he would only end up hurting you,” she was muttering. “Come here.” Edwina was pulled closer to Kate as her tears fell and splashed the vanity in front of her.

“I hate seeing you like this,” Kate said gently. Edwina sobbed again. She couldn’t remember when she last sounded so broken and pitiful to her own ears.

“I thought he liked me,” she cried. Edwina had never felt more foolish and heartbroken. And the entire ton was set to join them soon. They would be expecting to hear an engagement announcement the moment they arrived. What would they think when they arrived and she and the viscount were still unattached? Would they think there was something wrong with her? Why had she let herself get caught up in the whirlwind of the season? Why had she thought that this handsome English gentleman loved her, or at least, could learn to love her in time?

Edwina had done everything she was supposed to do. She had learned all the right dances. She had learned more instruments than the other debutantes. She had learned more languages than the other debutantes. She always knew how to act and how to conduct herself. And she always had the right answers to men’s questions. Besides all that, she was smart . She knew she was. It wasn’t just literature and love stories that she liked to read. Edwina also devoured books on history, science, politics and philosophy. It wasn’t just a pretty face and an agreeable manner she could bring to a marriage.

And yet, it still hadn’t been enough.

“I don’t know what I did wrong,” she choked out between sobs.

Kate pulled back from Edwina and looked her in the eye. “You have done nothing wrong. You are the diamond of the season,” she reminded her. “There is nary a gentleman back in London who isn’t vying for your hand. You have choices, bon.” Kate wiped the tears from her cheeks like she had done so many times before when they were growing up. “All will be well,” she promised.

As Edwina laid down in bed and willed for sleep to come, she remembered something that almost had her sitting upright with a gasp. Kate had reminded her that she was the diamond of the season. But they were staying in the same house as the previous season’s diamond: the Duchess of Hastings herself!

Perhaps Edwina could find some time alone with her to talk about her experience of being the diamond. Perhaps the duchess would be able to guide Edwina toward the fourth point on her battle plan: Be a little less like a diamond and a little more like me.

If the original intent of her plan had been to secure a proposal to the viscount, Edwina would have to declare her plan a failure. But perhaps, part of it could be salvaged. Perhaps, Edwina thought, with the guidance of a former diamond, I can try and navigate what my next move should be. Perhaps the remainder of her season could be successful. Edwina normally wasn’t one to seek guidance from anyone but Kate or their mother. But these were special circumstances.

Chapter Text

Edwina had not meant to find the duchess so early in the day. She had just happened to wander into a sitting room where she had her son Augie on her lap.

“Oh!” Edwina gasped, startled. She curtsied. “Pardon me, your grace. I did not know you were in here.”

“It’s quite alright,” the duchess assured her. “You’re actually just in time. I’ve just rung for some tea. You can join me, if you’d like.” She gestured to the seat on the sofa next to her.

“I would love to, you grace,” Edwina said earnestly. “It’s very kind of you to offer.”

“Please, it’s just us in here. You can call me Daphne,” the duchess insisted with a smile. “I’m not so high in the instep that I must be addressed formally all the time.”

Edwina smiled and took the seat next to Daphne.

“I’m surprised that Augie and I aren’t the only early risers this morning,” said the duch- Daphne . “I thought it’d be some time before I saw anyone else. I saw it as the perfect opportunity to have some food before my brother Colin awoke. Motherhood has made me hungrier than he is.”

“My sister is awake, too,” Edwina confessed. “She probably went out riding. She loves to ride.” She looked down at the baby boy in Daphne’s lap and smiled at him. “Hello, Augie!” she cooed.

Augie stared impassively at her.

“Would you like to hold him?” Daphne offered. Edwina immediately straightened up again.

“I’d better not. I never seem to do well with babies,” she confessed. “We just don’t seem to get along. My mama assures me that it will be different when it’s my child.”

Daphne smiled as she rubbed her son’s back, his eyelids beginning to droop. “Well, speaking from experience, I can tell you that no baby has liked me quite as well as my son does.” The tea was brought in just then. Augie’s nursemaid followed and took the baby back to his nursery. At the duchess’s urging, the doors to the room were closed when the staff left.

“I am glad that I caught you alone this morning,” Daphne confessed as she poured the tea. “I wanted to apologize for any distress you might have felt last night. Lady Danbury and my mama enjoyed playing matchmaker last season with my husband and me. It seems they are eager to repeat their success.” She handed Edwina’s teacup to her.

“Ah,” said Edwina, nodding in understanding. “I assure you, I did not feel distressed. I was more…stunned at Lady Danbury’s…boldness.” Daphne mentioning the previous season was the perfect opening for Edwina. “Actually, I had hoped I could ask you about your season last year,” she said. “I understand that you were also proclaimed the diamond of the season.”

“I was,” Daphne confirmed. She sighed wistfully. “That seems like a lifetime ago, now. I remember being in shock and awe when it happened. And I remember feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. I was the first of my sisters to be out on the marriage mart so I knew marrying well was important for all of our prospects. But I also wanted to find a loving and happy marriage just like the one my mother and father shared. And I have found all of that with my husband, Simon.”

Edwina nodded. She lost herself temporarily in the memories she had of her parent’s marriage. That was the kind of marriage she wished for herself, too. “You make your courtship with the duke sound like a fairy tale,” she said a touch dreamily.

Daphne pondered this. “Well…some parts of our courtship did seem like a fairy tale at the time. But in retrospect…well, that’s a story for another time.” Edwina was curious to hear more, but Daphne changed the subject. “At least you have a sister to go through the season with you,” she said. “I only had my mama and Anthony-who was a little overzealous when it came to vetting my suitors. I understand your sister does the same for you, but she seems to have a much more level head on her shoulders.”

Edwina nodded, smiling. “I am very grateful to have her with me and for all of her help. Her only concern has been in helping me navigate the season and to find a suitable husband.”

“Forgive me if this is a rather intrusive question,” said Daphne, “but I understand that your sister is six-and-twenty. I wondered why your grandparents did not offer to sponsor her when she was eighteen?”

Edwina bit her lip. She had heard the whispers, of course. People spoke about her father when they thought Edwina couldn’t hear. They even speculated about Kate’s amma. Even she had to bite her tongue when she heard what people said.

“Your grace,” Edwina said, slipping back into formalities, “Forgive me, I thought you already knew: Lord and Lady Sheffield are my grandparents. Not Kate’s.”

“Oh,” said Daphne in understanding.

“I only know the whole story secondhand, because I was not yet born when it all took place, but my grandparents did not approve of my mother marrying a widower clerk,” Edwina confided. And sometimes, Edwina received the impression that her grandparents frowned upon the match even more than they would have done because Kate was from her father’s first marriage. Nobody ever said as much to Edwina, but the way they darted around the subject made her wonder if that was the case.

But then she would dismiss the notion altogether in the next moment. After all, Kate had only been a little girl at the time. She was an innocent! Nobody could be so cruel as to hold a little girl’s parentage against her, could they?

“Oh, I am sorry,” Daphne apologized and she looked truly remorseful.

“It’s alright,” Edwina promised. “It was a long time ago.” She shook her head. “But, I am getting off-topic. I wanted to ask about your experience of being the diamond.”

“Of course,” Daphne agreed. “I’d be more than glad to share my knowledge and experience. From one diamond to another.”

Edwina smiled. She felt relieved to finally find a kindred spirit during this season. She took another sip of her tea, wondering where she could even start? A lighthearted question could be a good one to begin with.

“Did your cheeks ever get sore from all the smiling?” Edwina finally asked. Daphne’s eyes widened.

“Yes!” she gasped. “My younger sisters thought I was being overdramatic when I complained of it one day.”

“I once had to feign a day of illness so I could sit in my room all day with a book and a straight face,” Edwina confessed.

Daphne nodded in approval. “Why, Miss Edwina! That’s ingenious! Why didn’t I ever think to do that? The best I could think to do was try to strongly suggest, without seeming too forward, partaking in the flavoured ices. I was hoping if it were cold enough, it would numb my muscles, however temporarily.”

Edwina would have to remember that one. Perhaps Kate could be the one to suggest it for her instead.

 “It has been somewhat of a relief to come to Aubrey Hall,” Edwina confessed. “The number of pairs of eyes on me every time I so much as leave my bedroom has dropped significantly.” She eyed the sandwiches that came with the tea service hungrily before she turned back to the woman sitting next to her. “Did it ever feel that way to you? Like the whole world was watching?”

Daphne nodded immediately. “From the very moment I was presented to the Queen and she pronounced me ‘flawless’ I felt like I was in a dream. But after a while, it started to feel more like I was on display. Everywhere I went, I could feel everyone’s eyes on me whenever I came near. I was sure that they were looking to see who I was speaking to, dancing with, laughing with.”

“Watching your every move?” Edwina surmised.

“Yes, exactly.” Daphne took a moment to place one of the sandwiches on a small plate and handed it to Edwina. The younger girl bit into the food immediately. “It felt like a very precarious balancing act at times. Like everyone was watching and waiting to see if I would succeed or fail. At times it felt like I was cast as the lead actress in a play but everyone else has been given the script but me. It felt like breathing a sigh of relief every time I was with my family or with the man I would soon call my husband. I felt like I could finally be myself.”

Edwina’s breath caught for a moment. This was the exact thing she had wanted to hear most from the duchess. “Do you mean to say that…you felt that you were playing a part when you were the diamond?” she asked.

Daphne gave a small smile. “That reminds me of something my sister Eloise once said,” the duchess reminisced. Her eyes looked far away as if seeing back into the past. “She once said something like…the endless game of pretend I feel I must play must be taxing. Now, I didn’t feel that it was all pretend. I had worked hard my entire life to even be considered the diamond. I did-and still do believe that being named the diamond opened up many opportunities both for myself and my family. But yes, I suppose I was playing a part at times. I had to navigate the waters of the marriage mart and try to work out if these men were vying for my affections, my dowry, or if they just coveted having the diamond for themselves. There were times that I worried one wrong move or saying the wrong thing would have me written off by everyone in the ton. It was quite the balancing act: trying to determine the people I could afford to offend. I received several marriage proposals before my husband and I were finally wed, and I think most of them even walked away from the rejections thinking that it was their idea in the first place.”

Edwina nodded in sympathy and understanding. “I think I have worried about accidentally offending the Queen more than anybody else,” she admitted. 

“You’re not alone there,” Daphne assured her. “She is quite the intimidating figure, to be sure.”

 “I have never been any good with confrontation at all. I have to be very vexed or feel very strongly or feel I’ve been wronged very badly. Any time I’ve had to dismiss a gentleman and his attentions this season, I’ve had to rely on my sister to dismiss him. Her ability to tell a gentleman off, dismiss him or put him in his place is quite remarkable. Sometimes, I feel quite jealous of Kate,” Edwina admitted suddenly. “I’ve worried incessantly at the idea of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, or offending the wrong people. I freeze at the very idea of failure and ridicule. But my sister doesn’t care what anybody thinks of her. I wish I could be like that sometimes.”

Daphne looked at her curiously. “How do you know that your sister doesn’t care what anybody thinks of her?” she asked.

Edwina paused. Nobody had asked her that before. Nobody had questioned Kate when she said it. Why would she have any reason to question it? “Well…Kate always says so.” What other reason could she need?

Daphne nodded in understanding. “Well, speaking as one lady with a stubborn, self-sacrificing elder sibling to another, I can tell you that the people who say they don’t care, actually care a lot more than they let on.”

Edwina furrowed her brow. “Do you mean to say that my sister is lying to me?”

“No!” Daphne said instantly. “No, indeed. But I think that maybe she is lying to herself so she can put your wants and needs before her own. Let me put it this way: when your sister says she doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her, do you think that includes your mother? Or yourself?”

Edwina had never once thought of it that way. “No, of course not.”

“Well, there you are, then,” said Daphne. “I think that perhaps your sister values the good opinion of some people while recognizing that there are some people who’s good opinion is of no value to her. And maybe she desperately wishes for the good opinion of others and it pains her to know she will never have it. It’s easier for her to say that she doesn’t care what other people think of her because perhaps if she says it enough, it will be true.”

Edwina was as stunned by Daphne’s insight into Kate as she was ashamed. How was it that she had not noticed this about her sister, and yet someone who had only known Kate for a few short days seemed to already know her better? If what Daphne said about Kate caring about other people’s opinions was true, could the same be said of Kate’s conviction that she did not desire a husband for herself? That she desired no children of her own beyond the nieces and nephews Edwina might one day provide?

This was Kate . Kate: the sister who spent endless hours teaching herself all of the dances that would be done in a London season but had yet to be offered even one dance this season.

Kate: who insisted she had no desire to dance, but looked wistfully out at the dancing couples from the edges of the dance floor.

Kate: who had once begged for stories from Mary about the London season. Kate: who had once spoken and dreamed aloud of having her own season, before their father fell ill and the dream died with him.

Kate: who used to talk about what her future husband would be like.

Kate: who had always devoured romance novels at a lightning-fast pace.

Kate: who cuddled and bonded with babies and children so quickly and with such ease that their mother would look at her eldest daughter and comment that Kate was already a mother in so many ways, she just didn’t have a child to call her own.

Edwina suddenly feared that though she had known Kate her entire life, she didn’t know her sister at all. Did this make her a bad sister? Or was Kate just playing a part as well?

Something else Daphne had said struck a chord in Edwina’s mind.

“When you mentioned self-sacrificing elder siblings,” said Edwina, “did you mean the viscount?”

Daphne nodded. “Yes. He inherited the viscountcy when he was only nineteen. He takes his role as Viscount Bridgerton and the head of the family very seriously, which means he always puts everyone else in his family before himself. Even when he should think of himself more.”

Just the same as Kate.

How had Edwina not seen it before?

“Your brother’s devotion to his family is a quality that I admire most about him,” Edwina said truthfully. The knowledge that the viscount didn’t love her didn’t sting any less on this new day, but Edwina could still hold her head high and be complimentary toward Lord Bridgerton. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t love her. Daphne seemed appreciative of the compliment about her brother.

There was a knock on the sitting room door and a moment later, the butler entered and informed her grace that her mother, her sisters, Mr. Colin Bridgerton, Gregory Bridgerton, Lady Danbury, and Lady Mary would shortly be making their way down for breakfast.

“I guess that is our cue to join them,” Daphne said cheerfully. She stood with Edwina and started to lead her to the breakfast room. The duchess leaned toward Edwina and said conspiratorially, “Now, I know from experience that men can act rather…well, stupid when it comes to courtship. So I am dying to know: what’s the most ridiculous thing one of your suitors has done to try and win your favour?”

Edwina did not even have to think about it, but she pretended to for a moment. “Well…one of them bought me a racehorse. I don’t even ride.”

Daphne gave a very unladylike and un-duchess-like snort. “That was my brother, wasn’t it?”

Edwina laughed too, and nodded.

They were just crossing through the hall by the stairs when Kate came rushing in from outside, still in her riding clothes.

“Did you enjoy your ride, didi?” Edwina called out. Kate’s mind must have been elsewhere because her usually unrattled sister jumped a foot in the air and let out a string of curses in Hindustani that would have made even the most coarse of men blush.

Kate placed a hand across her bosom, took a deep, steadying breath, and smiled at the two women in front of her. “Your grace. Edwina. Forgive me, I did not see you.”

Edwina arched a brow. “Apparently,” she deadpanned. “You’re lucky that I’m the only one who understood you just now.”

“Oh, I may not have understood but I think I have a fairly good guess,” Daphne said with a coy, knowing smile. “Some things are universal.”

Kate smiled tightly, looking a little embarrassed. She kept rubbing at a spot a little below her collarbone. “Is something the matter, Kate?” Edwina asked, nodding toward Kate’s hand.

Kate followed her sister’s eye line. “Oh!” she said, lowering her hand and revealing a small red welt. “Bee sting,” she explained.

“A bee!” Edwina exclaimed. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“But you are otherwise unharmed?” Daphne asked, looking a little more worried and alarmed than Edwina thought necessary. It was, after all, only a bee.

“Yes, yes,” Kate assured her. “I am perfectly well.”

Daphne sighed, sounding relieved. “Good. That’s good. I can ask for a poultice to be made for you to reduce any redness or swelling. Our cook is rather good with them. Would you like to join everyone for breakfast before you apply the poultice?”

Kate shook her head. “No, thank you, your grace. I had better just go and lie down with that remedy for a while.”

“Very well,” said Daphne. “I can ask them to send you up a breakfast tray, too. Are you sure you’ll be alright?”

Kate nodded. “Yes, thank you. I’ll be perfectly fine on my own.”

A day ago, Edwina would have accepted that statement at face value. Now, so soon after her talk with Daphne, Edwina bit her lip.

“Shall we go into breakfast?” Daphne offered, half-turning in that direction. Edwina watched her sister ascend the staircase.

Kate was always taking care of her and their mother. When was the last time someone thought to take care of Kate?

“Actually, your grace,” said Edwina, “I think I’m going to stay with my sister.”

Daphne promised to have a breakfast tray sent up for her as well.

Kate’s eyes were wide with surprise when Edwina walked into their bedroom.

“Bon, what are you doing here? You should be having breakfast with the Bridgertons,” Kate insisted.

“Well now I’m having breakfast with you,” Edwina said decisively. She picked up Kate’s nightdress and held it out to her. Kate raised an eyebrow at her younger sister, pausing in getting undressed. Edwina did not waver and continued to hold out the nightdress. Sighing, Kate finished stripping out of her riding outfit and took the nightdress from Edwina.

“Excellent,” said Edwina with a nod of approval. She skipped over to Kate’s bed and turned back the covers for her.

“Edwina, this is really unnecessary,” Kate protested. “I can take care of myself.”

Edwina nodded. “Of course, you can,” she agreed. “But that doesn’t mean you should have to. Now get in the bed so I can tuck you in.”

Kate sighed. “Edwina-” she began to say. There was a knock on their door.

“Just a moment!” Edwina called out. She looked pointedly at Kate who sighed and finally crawled underneath the covers. Edwina tucked the blankets around her sister, just like she had always done for Edwina when she was unwell. Then she rushed over to the door and let in the two maids carrying in the breakfast trays. Kate’s came with the poultice that Daphne had promised her.

Edwina felt better after speaking to the Duchess that morning. She now knew that what she felt being the diamond was not unique. Daphne, too, felt the pressure. She also worried about failure and being ostracized. She also felt that sometimes she was playing a part rather than being herself when she was the diamond. But she had come through it all just fine, and so would Edwina.

Daphne had also opened her eyes more in regards to Kate. The duchess had only known them for a few days but it already seemed like she knew Kate better than Edwina. It made her feel like a terrible sister for not seeing what Daphne had seen sooner. Kate was the selfless caretaker and guardian who put everyone else first. When was the last time someone had thought to put Kate first?

Their mama entered their room after knocking some time later. “I heard there was a bee sting?” Mary Sharma paused, taking in the scene in front of her: Kate lying in bed, pressing a poultice across her clavicle and a breakfast tray across her lap, and Edwina dutifully cutting up her sister’s breakfast with a knife and fork.

“What’s this?” Mary asked with amusement. Kate rolled her eyes.

“Edwina’s being a tyrant,” she stated.

Edwina jutted out her chin. “I am being a good nurse,” she corrected.

“I can feed myself.”

“No,” said Edwina, moving the fork away from Kate’s reach. “We’ve been over this! You must relax and keep that poultice in place and I will feed you.”

“Your food will get cold,” Kate protested. It sounded more like a whine.

Edwina narrowed her eyes at her older sister. “As if you wouldn’t do the same for me. Now open up.”

Finally, and under great protest, Kate did open her mouth and let Edwina feed her while their mama looked on in amusement.

Edwina thought back to what Daphne said about the two of them having stubborn, self-sacrificing elder siblings. For Edwina, it was Kate. For Daphne, it was the viscount. Both of them had lost their fathers at young ages. Both of them had been thrust into the role of the responsible head of the family before either of them were truly ready for it. Both of them were fiercely protective of their younger siblings. They were both so alike in so many ways. Daphne had even commented on the similarities at that disastrous dinner.

And that was when Edwina had an epiphany: Lord Bridgerton and Kate were more or less the same person! They were practically mirrors of each other. If opposites attract, what did mirrors do? 

Based on their previous interactions, mirrors seemed to clash.

Or maybe it was the reflections that caused the two to lash out at each other. 

No wonder Eloise had said that Kate was a Bridgerton in disguise! No wonder Benedict and Colin had thought that Kate and the viscount seemed like a good match!

It was all because the two of them were so remarkably similar! That was why they had jumped to such conclusions. Edwina felt proud of herself for finally working out that mystery all by herself.

Now that she had given up on the dream of a proposal and a loving marriage from the viscount, Edwina now had a new goal for this sojourn into the country. No matter what, she would make sure that Lord Bridgerton and her sister would depart this country party as friends. And if not friends, they would, at the very least, have improved their opinions of the other.

Chapter Text

Edwina’s idea of trying to get her sister and the viscount to become friends was already proving to be more difficult than she could have previously imagined.

First, there was her sister’s odd behaviour. 

Kate was not usually one to sit on windowsills and stare out at the scenery before her, lost in thought, but that was exactly what she had started doing. Edwina, in her newfound determination to be a better sister, started taking tea to Kate in the morning. However, she didn’t want to encourage this self-isolation too much, so Edwina had taken to coaxing, pleading, and outright flattery to convince her sister to come downstairs and join everyone else.

“Kate, it’s such a lovely day outside! Won’t you join some of us for tea out on the terrace?

“I’ve just been invited to walk into the village with mama, Lady Bridgerton, and several of the Bridgerton daughters and sons. Why don’t you come with us?”

“Miss Francesca wants to play a duet piece, but I saw the sheet music and I know you can play this one better than I can. You should come and play for everyone! You’re so talented at the pianoforte but I’ve hardly heard you play one note since we arrived.”

Edwina managed to convince Kate to emerge from their room nearly every time. She was especially proud of convincing her to come out and play the pianoforte. Her talk with Daphne made Edwina realize that she had been in the spotlight for so long that she never noticed Kate had been stuck lingering in the shadows. So now Edwina was doing all she could to see that the spotlight now shone on Kate, too.

When out on the terrace for tea, Colin Bridgerton asked her to elaborate on a folk tale from India that had been mentioned in a book he had once read. Edwina had begun her explanation, before she paused mid-sentence, looked over at her sister and said, “Actually, Kate is much better at telling this story than I am. Would you mind taking over, didi?”

When Edwina, Kate, and their mama began their walk to the village with the rest of the party (Lady Bridgerton, all of the unmarried Bridgerton daughters, Benedict and Gregory Bridgerton, plus a few lady’s maids should anyone in the party wander and need a chaperone), Hyacinth Bridgerton walked alongside her and said, “Miss Edwina, you look beautiful in pink!”

Edwina laughed and smiled sweetly down at the youngest Bridgerton. “Why, thank you, Miss Hyacinth,” she said graciously.

“Is it your favourite color?” Gregory Bridgerton said on her other side.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you in another color,” Hyacinth added.

Edwina shook her head and took the hands of the two youngest Bridgertons in hers. “My favourite color is actually blue. But sadly,” and here she sighed deeply, “I’m afraid I have found that blue does not suit my complexion as well as pink: my second favourite color.” Edwina spied Kate walking a few paces ahead with their mama and Benedict Bridgerton and raised her voice a little to carry to the rest of the party. “We can’t all be born as lucky as my sister, who looks breathtakingly beautiful in every color under the sun.”

Kate looked back at her sister, laughing. “Not true, bon!” she protested.

“It is very true,” Edwina said conspiratorially to her two companions.

When Kate and Francesca completed their duet to the enthusiastic applause of the Bridgerton family, Edwina was the one to clap the loudest and to quickly request Kate play another piece when it looked as if she might try to make an escape back to their bedroom.

“I do love to hear her play,” Edwina said in explanation to the room at large. She stayed by her sister’s side to turn the pages for her (and also to block her escape).

Edwina was making all of these efforts in order to be a better sister and to be sure that Kate was finally seen, acknowledged, and admired as she should be. She also hoped that this attention would help nudge her sister and the viscount toward being friends. However, there was a second snag in her plans: Lord Bridgerton’s odd behaviour.

The first day or two after the dinner was, well, awkward. He still saw her in chaperoned settings, but none near as intimate as the first one where he painted quite the picture of the marriage he expected to have. But even if he was physically present in the room, his mind always seemed elsewhere.

The only times he seemed untroubled and carefree was around his youngest brothers and sisters. It stung a little bit, Edwina had to admit, to watch him smiling and affectionate with them. It seemed that the viscount was more than capable of love, just not capable of loving her .

Lord Bridgerton seemed to be spending most of his time in his study, walking about the grounds of his estate, or paying calls to his tenants. It did not escape Edwina’s notice that Lord Bridgerton was not present in the room when there was the possibility that Kate would be there, too.

The only time that Edwina had seen them in the same room together was at dinner, where Benedict Bridgerton sat in her old seat, giving Edwina a much-needed buffer.

Still, Edwina tried. When she was in the company of the viscount, she would bring up Kate. When she was in the company of her sister, she would bring up the viscount.

Lord Bridgerton would get quiet whenever Edwina brought up her sister, though and he would give one-word answers or resort to non-commital hemming and hawing. It was clear to Edwina what was happening: despite Kate’s promises to be the very picture of amiability for the duration of their visit to Aubrey Hall, the viscount had been put off by Kate’s earlier hostilities toward him and this had made him wary.

In fact, the only progress Edwina seemed to have made was with Gregory Bridgerton.

It happened the day after Edwina had recommended he seek out her sister’s help with his Latin exercises. The youngest Bridgerton boy had sung Kate’s praises at dinner that night, saying that his understanding of his latest lesson was all due to her instruction. Edwina was promenading around the grounds one morning with her mama, Lady Bridgerton, the Duchess of Hastings, and the three younger Bridgerton brothers, when Gregory Bridgerton asked to have a word with her.

“I’ve heard it said that you do not wish to marry unless your suitor meets with your sister’s approval,” said Gregory as they walked a little ways apart from the rest of the group.

Edwina nodded. “This is true,” she confirmed. “I love my sister dearly and I trust her judgment. I could never agree to marry someone if my sister did not first give them her blessing.”

Gregory hesitated before asking, “Does it also go the other way around? Do you need to give your blessing to a suitor for your sister?”

Nearby, Benedict Bridgerton snorted. Edwina saw him cover his mouth with his hand.

Ignoring him, she turned back to Gregory. “Any man who can give my sister every happiness in the world would have my blessing,” Edwina replied truthfully. After they got back to town, Edwina would start making her own list of eligible suitors for her sister. She’d have to work privately with Lady Danbury and get her help on who to even start with.

Gregory nodded, his eyes bright. “Do you think she’d be willing to wait five years?”

Colin Bridgerton managed to turn his loud guffaw into a cough. Benedict Bridgerton had to turn around, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Daphne clapped a hand over her mouth.

“Five years?” Edwina repeated.

“That is when I turn eighteen,” Gregory explained. 

Oh! Edwina realized.

It took all of her society training to not burst into laughter (unlike Gregory’s two older brothers), but the corners of her mouth still twitched in spite of her efforts.

“It is really closer to four and a half years,” continued Gregory. “I know you can’t give your blessing now due to my age, but I would be honoured if you would consider it after I turn eighteen.”

Edwina nodded, trying to delay her response until she could regain her composure enough to speak. “If the two of you wish to marry at that time, then I would be sure to give you both my blessing.”

Gregory’s smile was absolutely blinding. It was so sweet, Edwina couldn’t bear to laugh when he was looking so earnest. She was saved by Lady Bridgerton calling him over to speak with Edwina’s mama.

Edwina turned, looked at the three other Bridgertons, and they all broke immediately, dissolving into laughter. She took much delight in telling Kate about Gregory’s admiration of her later in the privacy of their room.

The day that the rest of the ton was due to arrive, Edwina knew that she would have to try and orchestrate some excuse for her sister and Lord Bridgerton to spend time with one another.

Kate was staring out the window of their room again. She hadn’t even gotten dressed for the day yet. Edwina approached with a cup of tea.

“Didi?’ she said. Kate broke out of her trance and blinked up at her from her seat at the window. “Is it the sting?”

“What?” Kate asked. She sat up and pushed her shawl from her shoulders. “Whatever do you mean?”

“Is it still bothering you?” She extended the tea toward her sister, who took it in both hands. “It seems ever since the awful creature pricked you, you’ve tried to keep to yourself.” And she would have succeeded more, had it not been for Edwina’s efforts.

“No,” Kate said shaking her head. She put the tea down on the vanity next to her and stood. “No, not at all, bon,” she assured Edwina, giving her shoulders a small squeeze. Kate breezed past her to her open trunk.

“How are you?” she asked as she began to pick up things seemingly at random from her trunk. “Are you still upset by the viscount’s lack of action?”

Truth be told, with each day that took Edwina further away from that dinner, the less hurt and upset she felt. In fact, she was beginning to feel more relieved than anything else that the viscount hadn’t proposed to her.

To Kate, Edwina just said, “His mind seems elsewhere, lately.” It was the truth, after all.

Kate reached out to Edwina and grasped her hand in hers. “We will return to Mayfair in a few days,” she said reassuringly. Kate smiled brightly. “Where you will have many other suitors! As I told you.”

When they first arrived at Aubrey Hall, Edwina would have protested that the viscount was the one she wanted. She would have insisted that she wanted to be a part of his family, live in this house, and be given the life he could offer her. But she knew now that she would always be somewhat of an outsider to his family. She knew that this house would become a place to shut her away so the viscount would not have to spend prolonged periods in her company. She knew that the life he offered her would be a half-life.

Edwina knew that she didn’t want any of that anymore.

“Kate,” said Edwina, “I’ve been thinking and…I’m now quite certain I know why the viscount has seemed so distracted as of late.” Kate looked into her eyes, waiting expectantly for Edwina to continue. “It is because of you .”

Kate’s eyes went wide with worry and panic. And if Edwina didn’t know any better, she would say that Kate looked guilty as well.

“You hate one another!” Edwina declared. She turned away from Kate and began to pace agitatedly.

“Er, hate is probably too strong a word-” Kate tried to protest.

“It is clear from your exchanges from the viscount that he shares your feelings,” Edwina continued. If only they could see what Daphne had opened her eyes to: that they had much in common. If only they could put their differences aside.

Kate sat at the end of her bed with a heavy sigh.

“And it has become clear to me that you are in need of my help,” Edwina decided firmly.

“Your help with what?” Kate asked.

“To get the viscount to fall in love with you,” Edwina explained. It wasn’t the best wording, Edwina could admit, but friends could love one another. “The two of you might surprise one another. You might even become friends.” She had not spoken her wish aloud until now and it felt good to do so.

“E-Edwina,” Kate stammered. “I..I certainly don’t-”

Edwina sat next to Kate on the bed. “Can you really not see anything engaging about him?”

Kate was not a liar. If she was a liar, she could have made up a thousand lies about the viscount to dissuade Edwina from encouraging his pursuit. So Edwina knew she would be truthful with such a direct question.

“Yes! I suppose I can see how much he might engage…a person. Yes.” It was one of the most complimentary things Kate had ever said about the viscount.

“Then you promise you’ll be friendly and encouraging to him today? And for the remainder of our stay?” Edwina said pleadingly. “Because I have not given up hope that the two of you will depart Aubrey Hall as friends. I will not give up.” She rested her head on Kate’s shoulder, smiling. She would succeed in her plans. And while Kate and the viscount were finally becoming friends, Edwina would have some time to get to know the other guests. Her time had been rather monopolized by the Bridgertons as of late. She wanted to get to know some other debutantes. Perhaps even some of the gentlemen. If she wasn’t to marry the viscount, she would have to marry someone.

There was a knock at the door, swiftly followed by the entrance of Lady Danbury and a maid. “Miss Edwina, Miss Sharma,” she greeted. “Lord Bridgerton is downstairs, Miss Edwina. He is to escort you to the party out on the lawn.”

Edwina’s hopes were dashed. “But I wanted to come down to the party with Kate,” she protested weakly.

Lady Danbury was unsympathetic. “Well, then, your sister should have been dressed sooner.”

Kate stood, pulling Edwina up with her. “You go on. I’ll be there shortly. I promise.”

There was no way around it. Not with Lady Danbury staring at her in the doorway. Edwina squared her shoulders, put on her most beatific smile, and departed with Lady Danbury to Lord Bridgerton.

It took some effort and needling on her part, but Edwina was finally successful in getting Kate and the viscount to spend some time together. Kate was an excellent shot and would be a worthy addition to the viscount’s hunting party. Their awkward politeness with one another had given away to some bickering back and forth before Benedict Bridgerton (bless him!) had convinced his brother to let Kate come along on the hunt.

Edwina was spared from participating in any more lawn games when Daphne invited her to play a card game with Edwina’s mama and Lady Danbury. She complimented the skills of Daphne and Lady Bridgerton as diligent hostesses but stopped short of expressing her hopes of hosting her own gatherings such as this one day.

“Between you and I,” Daphne said quietly to her, “though I enjoy being a hostess, there is no greater pleasure than enjoying your home alone with your family. With your husband. As long as you choose the right one.”

Edwina kept her smile on her face as she looked down at her cards, though the duchess’s words startled her. It sounded almost like a warning.

“I do hope my brother has been treating you well during your stay here,” Daphne added as she shuffled the cards around in her hand.

“Yes, he has,” Edwina said truthfully. Just because he didn’t love her didn’t mean he had been cruel or malicious. “He’s very kind and gentle. And so even-tempered.”

Daphne laughed. “Anthony? Even-tempered?”

Edwina frowned. She did not know the man very well at all, it seemed. “You would not subscribe him as such?”

“Well…not exactly,” Daphne admitted.

Edwina shrugged. “Perhaps he’s just been on his best behaviour.”

The women played cards in silence for a few moments before Daphne turned to her and asked “Has your sister gone off somewhere?”

“Hunting!” Edwina said proudly.

“Hunting?”

“With your brother, in fact.” She sat up a little straighter. “I am having them spend the day together,” she declared. “In the hopes of their finally finding common ground. It seems that the two of them do not exactly see eye-to-eye on occasion.” She smiled brightly at Daphne. “A good plan, is it not?”

Daphne looked unsure. “Well…” she said thoughtfully. “It certainly is an intriguing one.”

Edwina looked away to play her cards. What on earth had the duchess meant by that? Did she know something that Edwina did not? Was she concerned that one of them would shoot the other? Kate had promised she wouldn’t and the viscount was too much of a gentleman to do so.

Edwina felt antsy for the rest of the day for the hunting party to return, anxious to know how things had gone between Kate and the viscount.

When Kate finally returned to their room, Edwina practically flew from her spot by the window where she had been reading.

“How did it go?” she asked. She startled her sister, making her jump.

“Edwina! You frightened me!” Kate admonished her. Kate was not usually one to be so easily startled or frightened. In fact, now that Edwina thought about it, her sister seemed to be rather jumpy these past few days.

“Tell me everything!” Edwina demanded.

Kate walked past her in agitation. “We did not successfully shoot anything!” she said, annoyed. She sat heavily down at the end of her bed. “Perhaps if the men had listened to me-”

“Oh, I do not care about the hunt, didi!” Edwina interrupted. She sat down near her sister and leaned in expectantly. “How did it go with the viscount? ”

Kate blinked a few times. “Well,” she admitted. She gave Edwina a smile and a nod. “It went well, I think,” she said gently.

Edwina’s smile grew wider. “Did the two of you finally warm to one another?” She waited on Kate’s answer with bated breath.

Finally, Kate nodded again. “We did,” she confessed with a gentle smile.

Edwina sighed happily and grinned. She turned her head so Kate didn’t see the triumphant gleam in her eye. Her plan was working. Now she just had to give them another little push.

“You must continue whatever it is you are doing,” said Edwina. She turned back to her sister with a serious expression. “Tomorrow night,” she emphasized. “At the ball.” She giggled and fell back against the bed, congratulating herself for all of her efforts finally bearing fruit.

Now at the ball, she would just have to find a way to get the viscount to escort her sister to the dance floor. And she would have to convince Kate to accept the dance from Lord Bridgerton as well. Others might not consider a season a success unless they secured a match, but Edwina would not declare this season a success until she got to see her sister on the dance floor. And tomorrow night, that is exactly what would happen.

Chapter Text

Edwina’s favourite thing about the season has been all of the balls and parties she had been invited to attend. She loves getting ready for them. She loves choosing which dress she’ll wear. And the dancing. She loves dancing.

Lady Bridgerton’s Hearts & Flowers Ball is supposed to be one of the highlights of the season. Edwina has no doubts it will be anything less than spectacular.

Needless to say, she was nearly vibrating with excitement on the day of the ball. The only thing that could calm her was the book that Daphne had lent to her. That book, however, had taken an exciting turn in the plot that would make it harder for her to sit still.

It is a sheer force of will that kept Edwina from fidgeting or squealing while Benedict Bridgerton sketched her. He had asked her so politely and he said he needed the practice before he started at the academy. So Edwina acquiesced to his request and tried to remain perfectly still as he drew. The viscount was sitting nearby reading the newspaper. Her mama and Lady Danbury were talking with one another over tea at the little table in the corner.

Edwina focused again on the words on the page.

“I daresay you will find him very agreeable.”

“Heaven forbid!- That would be the greatest misfortune of all!-To find a man agreeable whom one is determined to hate!-Do not wish me such an evil!”

“Are you looking forward to the ball this evening, Miss Edwina?” Benedict Bridgerton asked politely.

“I am, sir,” Edwina replied. “I do love to dance.”

“It can be quite an enjoyable pastime if one has the right partner,” Benedict agreed. He fell into silence again and Edwina continued reading the text in front of her.

“May I ask to what these questions tend?”

“Merely to the illustration of your character,” said she, endeavouring to shake off her gravity. “I am trying to make it out.”

“And what is your success?”

She shook her head. “I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.”

“You must have had excellent dance instructors,” Benedict observed, “from what I’ve seen at past balls.”

Edwina smiled politely. “My sister was my dance instructor. She spent countless hours learning all of the dance steps by herself so that she could teach them to me. After all that work, it saddens me to know that she has yet to take to the dance floor this season.”

Edwina was hoping one of the Bridgertons will take the bait. She was not surprised when it is Benedict. Lord Bridgerton would require a different approach if she is to convince him to dance with her sister as well.

“If I can convince her to take to the floor, I would be happy to dance with your sister this evening,” Benedict easily agreed. The viscount turned the page of his newspaper so forcefully, that Edwina heard the pages tear.

The viscount interfered with Edwina’s plans to mingle with some of the party guests when he met her on the stairs coming into the ballroom and requested the honor of her first dance.

A lady cannot turn down a gentleman for a dance unless another man has already claimed that dance. So Edwina had no choice but to let the viscount take her to the dance floor.

Then, when that dance was over, he requested a second dance.

“A second dance, my lord?” Edwina gasped in surprise. It wasn’t anywhere near as noteworthy as Mr. Bingley’s three dances with Jane Bennet in the book she had tucked away upstairs. But people would surely talk if they were to partake in a second dance.

“I thought you liked dancing,” the viscount said teasingly.

“I do,” Edwina confirmed. “But your sister says that you don’t.”

Lord Bridgerton rolled his eyes at the mention of his sister. “It can be enjoyable with the right partner,” he amends, holding out his hand again to her. "Besides, Daphne talks too much for her own good."

Edwina raised an eyebrow. "How did you know it was the duchess?"

"Lucky guess."

Edwina lets him lead her into another dance.

She can see Kate watching on the edges of the dance floor as she goes through the steps and the spins. For once, Kate had let herself stay still long enough for the maids to do something with her hair instead of just twisting it around the back of her head. Several curly tendrils of hair framed Kate’s face, making her sister look soft and delicate.

Kate got her height from their father, but in every other aspect, Edwina suspects that she looks exactly like her birth mother. She must have been very beautiful if she looked anything like Kate does this evening. Were the men of the ton truly so blind that they couldn't see how beautiful Kate was? Were they really so prejudiced by Kate being six-and-twenty? She should have men begging left and right for the honor of a dance.

It is of no matter. Edwina will sort it out.

When her second dance with the viscount is over, he offered to fetch the two of them some lemonade, to which Edwina quickly agreed. Lord Bridgerton turned and departed for the refreshment table and Edwina rushed over to Kate’s side.

“Lord Bridgerton has just gone to get me a lemonade,” Edwina told Kate.

“How very thoughtful of him,” Kate replies automatically.

“We’ve just finished our second dance,” Edwina continues, “but I require a small respite from the dancing. I would prefer to watch the next set.” Edwina looked across the ballroom to be sure that Lord Bridgerton wasn’t coming over yet and turned back to Kate.

“I need you to dance with him,” Edwina implored.

The smile dropped from Kate’s face in an instant. “What?” she said in alarm.

“I have not seen you dance for this entire season. It would make me so very happy if you were to see you dance tonight,” Edwina pleaded. “And Lord Bridgerton is an excellent dance partner. You need not worry about your toes being stepped on if he is leading you. I promise. Oh, say you'll dance with him, didi! Please!”

Kate swallowed a gulp of air and then sighed heavily. “Edwina,” she said. Her voice sounded small and hesitant. “Do…do you wish me to dance with the viscount…because you wish for me to grant him my blessing?”

Edwina’s smile sat frozen on her face.

You see, a lot had happened in the short time they had been at Aubrey Hall. First, there had been the disastrous pall mall game. Next, she had eavesdropped on three of the Bridgertons when she shouldn’t have, and doubts about her courtship with the viscount began to cloud her mind.

After that, Edwina paid more attention to the meaning behind Anthony’s words as well as his actions. She had come to the painful realization at the disastrous dinner that the viscount did not love her, would never love her, and did not even really want to propose to her for any reason other than duty. She had wept after dinner that night. She wept because of her humiliation. She wept because of her heartbreak. She wept for the future and the love she had imagined.

And it had stung when Edwina realized in the days afterward that the viscount was more than capable of loving another, it was just her where he fell short. But the sting of that lessened more and more until Edwina forgot it had ever stung at all.

Then, when Daphne opened her eyes to Kate and her sister’s internal struggles, she had thrown all of her energy and attention into being a better sister. It had taken the pressure off of Edwina during the following days of their visit to Aubrey Hall. She felt happier and more unburdened than she had been when they first traveled to the Bridgerton’s country home.

And it took until Kate asked if Edwina wanted her to give Lord Bridgerton her blessing for Edwina to realize something very big had happened between the disastrous dinner and the Hearts & Flowers Ball :

Edwina had fallen completely out of love with Lord Bridgerton.

And she hadn’t even noticed that it happened.

In fact, Edwina was beginning to doubt whether or not she had ever been in love with Lord Bridgerton at all. Surely, if her love had been true, it would not have faded away so quickly. 

Truthfully, Edwina had been more enamored with the idea of the courtship than the man who had been courting her.

Why couldn’t she have had this epiphany sooner? Why couldn’t she have realized that she had fallen out of love the moment that it happened? She could have told her family and Lady Danbury that she wished to end the courtship at once and they would have counseled her on how to do so!

Good Lord…Edwina had managed to forget she was even being courted by the viscount.

And they had danced twice together. Wasn’t this a fine kettle of fish!

Edwina opened her mouth to tell Kate that her blessing was no longer needed. That she had decided the viscount wasn’t the one she wanted to marry after all. That if Kate wanted to take this opportunity to end the courtship for her, that would be wonderful. Edwina was, after all, not great with confrontation.

Of course, right when Edwina realized that she did not love or wish to be courted by the viscount, he appeared in front of her with a glass of lemonade, a kind smile, and a greeting of “Miss Edwina.”

Edwina turned to him, smiling brightly. “Lord Bridgerton!” she exclaimed, taking the glass of lemonade he had procured for her. She hoped he wouldn’t think to propose to her at the ball. Her only hope was that if he did, he would do so with some privacy so that she may find the words to turn him down without causing him any embarrassment. Edwina needed to create some space between herself and the viscount. Her only option was to continue with her plan, even though it now felt as if she was throwing her sister to the wolves.

“My sister and I were just speaking,” Edwina told him. She looked to Kate, who seemed to be staring at nothing as she fidgeted with her gloves. “She wishes to take to the floor,” Edwina hinted.

“Ah,” said the viscount. He didn’t take the hint. Instead, he craned his neck left and right around the room. “Well, I am certain that-”

“With you,” Edwina interrupted. She took the second lemonade glass from Lord Bridgerton’s hands, not giving him the option to escape elsewhere and snub Kate.

The viscount and her sister both looked at each other. Kate took several steadying breaths. The viscount rocked back and forth on his heels. They seemed to have an entire conversation with one another without saying a single word.

Finally, Lord Bridgerton held out a hand to Kate.

“Miss Sharma, may I have this dance?” he asked.

Kate looked as if she was steeling herself to go into battle before she slipped her gloved hand into the viscount’s ungloved one.

“You may, my lord,” she acquiesced.

Edwina watched, barely able to contain her glee as Lord Bridgerton led Kate to the dance floor. So what if she wasn’t going to marry the viscount? She was finally going to see her sister dance at a ball! Kate and Lord Bridgerton would finally be able to go more than three minutes without bickering at each other!

Edwina thought back to the battle plan she had written back at the beginning of her visit to Aubrey Hall. She had burnt the list several days ago since it had all seemed pointless now, but she still remembered the final item on the list: carefully observe Kate and Lord Bridgerton. Her mind had been preoccupied with other things and she hadn’t concerned herself too much with that last item. 

But now, observing the two is just what she was going to do for this dance! It would be most interesting to watch. Would they end the dance on good terms? Or would they end up hating each other even more? She hoped it was the former, for everyone’s sake.

Edwina put the lemonade glasses on a tray for a passing footman and turned back to watch Kate and Lord Bridgerton as the music started. Edwina tapped her foot along to the beat as she watched Kate move gracefully through the dance. She was a beautiful dancer. She deserved to dance more. Edwina would have to find Mr. Benedict Bridgerton later and make him honor his promise to ask Kate for a dance.

Lord Bridgerton was not an untalented dancer himself. Edwina had been truthful there. He and Kate moved on the dance floor in perfect synchrony with each other.

The way they spun around each other reminded Edwina of the scientific texts she had read on planets in orbit. The question was: which one of them was the sun and which one of them was the planet? Or perhaps one of them was a planet and the other a moon?

Edwina may be biased, but surely, if anybody was the sun, it would be Kate. She was glowing under the candlelight this evening.

Lord Bridgerton and Kate were not speaking to one another as most couples did on the dance floor. Instead, they were just staring into each other's eyes with a ferocious intensity. Their gazes were so intense, in fact, that Edwina could feel it all the way from where she stood.

Come to think of it, there was something about their dance that reminded Edwina of the dance she had read about in her book today: the dance between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy.

…

…oh.

Oh.

OH.

The last of the puzzle pieces finally slid into place. For the first time since arriving at Aubrey Hall, no, since arriving on England’s shores, Edwina was finally beginning to see everything clearly!

How stupid Edwina felt! 

How blind she had been!

Edwina had spent so much time focusing on the season, being the diamond, being courted, that she did not see anything that was happening right in front of her.

Everyone knew that the viscount intended to marry this season. Edwina knew that it was the sense of duty he felt that had compelled him to seek herself as his bride. Edwina knew that the viscount did not and would never love her. But Edwina also knew that he was capable of loving others.

Edwina could also see that her sister had been sacrificing her happiness for the sake of her family for too long. Kate kept repeating that she didn’t want a husband or a family of her own because she had already given up on that idea a long time ago. But just because Kate tried to deny the truth, that didn’t mean she could deny it forever. Especially not when it was so plain in front of her.

Edwina may not know what it felt like to be in love, but she was certain that she now knew what it looked like.

It all seemed so simple to her now: Kate loved Lord Bridgerton. And Lord Bridgerton loved Kate. To deny that truth would be like denying one needed air to breathe.

And if Lord Bridgerton was so determined to marry someone this season, then why shouldn’t that someone be Kate?

Edwina grinned when the viscount and her sister spun to face her. He was holding her much closer than the other gentlemen were holding their dance partners. His hand was closer to her collarbone than her shoulder. Oh! And the way he leaned in to whisper in her ear! The way Kate leaned in closer to him as he did so! Surely she could not be the only one seeing this! If Edwina could write as well as the author of Pride & Prejudice, then she would pen this moment down and instantly become a bestseller.

Kate and Lord Bridgerton were facing each other now. Edwina wished she could hear what they were saying. The viscount was looking at her sister with that same intensity, but it also seemed…pleading?

Then Kate said something, and whatever it said caused Lord Bridgerton to raise his voice in alarm. Edwina was still too far away to hear what had been said, but the viscount looked…upset? Stunned? Distressed.

As the music drew to a close, Kate curtsied to Lord Bridgerton. The viscount did not bow exactly. He just seemed to follow Kate’s movements with his head. When Kate rose from her curtsy and looked him in the eyes again, Lord Bridgerton turned and strode purposefully from the room.

Edwina frowned. Things had been going so well! What could they possibly have quarreled over? She crossed the dance floor to her sister.

“Where is the viscount going?” Edwina asked. Kate shook her head. It did not make her sister look any less stunned.

“I…I do not know,” Kate admitted quietly.

“Well, what did you say?”

Kate took a deep breath. “I shall find him,” she decided. “Give me a moment.” She turned and left the ballroom to find Lord Bridgerton. Edwina watched her go.

Not knowing what else to do, she sought out the refreshment table. She had forgone the lemonade that had been brought to her earlier and she regretted it now, feeling parched. She was intercepted by Daphne, who ushered her away from the ears of the rest of the partygoers.

“What just happened?” she whispered. “Did your sister say anything to you?”

Ah. So Edwina wasn’t the only one who witnessed what was happening on the dance floor.

She shrugged. “I am not certain, your grace. My sister wasn’t quite sure herself. But those two have always known how to needle each other. I’m sure it was nothing,” she tried to assure the duchess.

Daphne nodded and excused herself from Edwina. Finally, she was free to get herself some lemonade.

Benedict Bridgerton found her after she had finally drained her glass. “Miss Edwina. I was hoping to ask your sister for a dance but I cannot seem to find her.”

Edwina frowned and cast her eyes about the ballroom. Benedict was right. Kate was nowhere to be found. Come to think of it, Edwina did not spy the viscount either. When she looked about the ballroom again, Edwina never saw the duchess. It seemed that Benedict and his mother were the only Bridgertons left in the ballroom.

“I am not sure,” Edwina finally said. “Do you have a reputation for stepping on a lady’s toes during dances? Perhaps Kate heard of this and fled before you had the chance to maim her?”

Benedict Bridgerton looked at her in surprise. “You’re quite funny,” he told her appreciatively. Edwina preened.

“I’m sure my sister will be back before too long, Mr. Bridgerton” she promised Benedict, “and I will help persuade her to take to the floor with you.”

“Thank you, Miss Edwina. But since she is not here at present, would you like to have a dance with me? Or would you prefer to take a turn about the room as we watch the others dance?” Benedict offered. He held out his hand and waited for Edwina to make the decision.

“A dance would be lovely, Mr. Bridgerton,” she told him.

Benedict lead her to the floor to partake in a country dance. It was not until the dance is over and Benedict escorted her to her mother’s side that Edwina saw Daphne come back into the ballroom.

Kate did not return to the ball that night.

Nor did Lord Bridgerton.

When Edwina returned to her shared room with Kate as the ball began to die down, she found her sister already dressed for bed. Gone was her elaborate updo, replaced with her favoured long braid.

Kate sat at the window and stared out into the night. She said nothing as Edwina chatted with the maid helping her to undress and prepare for bed. It wasn’t until the maid left that Kate spoke.

“I tried to speak with Lord Bridgerton,” she told Edwina sadly, “but he was…agitated this evening. I could not get him to listen to me and I could not understand why he was acting as he did.” Finally, she looked up. Edwina was startled to see tears pooling in her sister’s eyes.

“I’m not sure that a proposal will be forthcoming from the viscount,” she confessed. “I’m sorry, Edwina. I am truly sorry. I’m sorry I failed you. It’s all my fault.”

Edwina crossed the room to Kate and hugged her sister tightly. “It’s not your fault, didi,” she swore. “You did not fail me. And you do not need to apologize. There is nothing to be sorry for.”

Edwina felt Kate hesitate before she slowly wrapped her arms around Edwina and return the hug. And as Edwina rubbed soothing circles on her sister’s back, she could feel Kate’s tears soak through the fabric of her dressing gown.

This night was not the time to talk. There had been too much excitement for the both of them. Tonight, they would rest. Tomorrow, they would depart for London with Lady Danbury and their mama. Once their carriage departed from Aubrey Hall, Edwina would tell everyone that she did not love the viscount and wished to break off their courtship. She would seek their counsel on how to do so. 

Then, when they were back in Danbury House, Edwina would find some time to be alone with Kate. The two sisters were overdue for a heart-to-heart. She would tell her sister that she realized she had never been in love with Lord Bridgerton. She would tell her sister what she realized as she watched the dancing tonight.

Above all, Edwina would make sure her sister understood how relieved she felt that Lord Bridgerton didn’t end up proposing to her after all.

Chapter Text

Edwina woke up the next morning with a stretch and a yawn, feeling refreshed. The weight of the world was off of her shoulders. Her sister was in love (though Edwina knew she would try to deny it) and the man in question loved Kate back (though he was a man and therefore was deathly afraid of his own feelings).

Kate was still sleeping and judging by the twisted state of her blankets, it had not been restful. Edwina would be sure to put her sister’s mind at ease before the day was over. It would not do for her sister to feel guilty that a proposal Edwina no longer wanted didn’t happen.

Since they would be departing Aubrey Hall in a few hours and Edwina knew it is still too early to be up, she took her book over to the window and began to read in the early morning light.

But this idea was soon banished, and her spirits were very differently affected, when, to her utter amazement, she saw Mr. Darcy walk into the room…

Two of Lady Danbury’s maids entered the room near to an hour later with two breakfast trays just as Kate was beginning to rise from her slumber. She still looked troubled.

“Are we not eating downstairs with everyone else?” Edwina asked, sounding puzzled.

The shorter one, Jane, shook her head.

“Your mother and Lady Danbury thought you might like to eat away from the rest of the party,” she explained. “They didn’t want you faced with any awkward…inquiries.”

Edwina raised an eyebrow. “Because there was no proposal, you mean?” she asked. The two maids stilled in embarrassment. “I would not have been bothered by eating downstairs, but it is of no matter,” she hurried to say. “How long until we depart for London?”

If Edwina had still been under the impression that she was still in love with the viscount, she would not have questioned her mother’s and Lady Danbury’s decision at all. She probably would have seen the maids with the breakfast trays and sighed in relief. If she had gone down to breakfast thinking she had been jilted by the viscount, she might have felt mortified by all the stares and whispers that would surely be present at the breakfast table.

Today, however, with the knowledge that she didn’t love Lord Bridgerton and he hadn’t asked to marry her, Edwina felt giddy. She was half-tempted to run and find all of the guests and wave her left hand in their faces, daring them to comment. 

Kate spoke little during breakfast and while the maids helped them dress and do their hair. If the maids hadn’t been there, Edwina would have spoken to her sister about Lord Bridgerton. But she thought it should be a private conversation and was not eager to provide them with any more gossip.

After their trunks were packed and taken to the carriage, the two sisters double-checked to make sure they hadn’t left anything important behind. They would need to leave soon. Most of the other guests were leaving or had already done so. Their party would be among the last to leave.

“This is a beautiful house,” Edwina sighed. She turned in a circle in the center of the room, casting her eyes around every wall, every surface, and every nook and cranny. To think, just a short time ago, Edwina thought she might be the new mistress of this house. Now, with any luck, that new mistress would be Kate. 

Edwina crossed the floor to Kate and hooked their arms, leading her out of the room and toward the stairs, where their mama and Lady Danbury would surely be waiting. “Still, I am anxious to get back to the city. I know you love the peace and quiet of the country, but I thrive in the cities: with theatres, concerts, libraries, and operas. And balls of course.”

Kate remained looking somber.

Carriage after carriage pulled away from Aubrey Hall. All of the Bridgertons waited on the steps, wishing all of the guests goodbye. The only two absent were Francesca Bridgerton, who seemed to still be in bed, and Lord Bridgerton himself. Edwina was sorry to see that she had missed Francesca, but she’d have been lying if she said she was sorry that Lord Bridgerton was not present.

Edwina would have to ask Kate later what exactly had been said between her and the viscount last night. Whatever had put her in this somber mood had clearly affected him as well, if he was absent from the rest of his family.

“I am sorry things did not go as planned, bon,” Kate apologized again to Edwina.

“It is not your fault, didi, as I’ve told you,” Edwina insisted. She judged the distance between herself and Lady Danbury’s back and pulled her sister to a stop.

“Aren’t you the one who told me that I had choices as the diamond of the season? Besides,” Edwina whispered to Kate, “it is clear that the viscount holds no feelings for me. They must be elsewhere.” She knows they’re elsewhere, but again, this is not the time or place.

They resumed walking toward their carriage again. Lady Mary was already sitting inside with Newton on her lap. Lady Danbury settled in across from her next. 

Edwina reached out to grasp the handle of the carriage. Her foot was half raised to the box when Kate stopped her.

“Edwina!” Kate said suddenly. She stepped back and turned to face her sister. Different emotions warred across Kate’s face as she took a few deep breaths: guilt, sadness, hope, and fear. Whatever her sister wanted to say to her was something that must require her to use all of her resolve, all of her inner strength, and all of her bravery.

Kate was one of the bravest people she knew. So why did she look scared to say what she was about to say to Edwina?

“There is something I must tell you,” Kate finally managed to say. Edwina nodded and waited patiently for her sister to find her words and her courage.

A familiar voice called out, shattering the moment. “Wait!”

There, in the doorway of Aubrey Hall, stood Lord Bridgerton. He breathed heavily when he saw them. As if he had run to the door from somewhere deep inside the house.

Kate’s head had whipped toward the door when she heard the viscount’s voice. Edwina’s eyes darted back and forth between them. He descended the few short steps of his ancestral home and strode toward their carriage with purpose.

He looked as if he, too,  had something very important to say.

“Lord Bridgerton,” Kate said quietly. Her voice sounded like half-agony, half-hope. Edwina watched her sister take a few tentative steps toward the viscount.

“Might I speak with you?” he asked.

Edwina saw Kate swallow and nod. “Of course!” she said. Her voice sounded a little more hopeful.

And then Lord Anthony Bridgerton crushed his sister’s hopes like an insect underneath the heel of his boot.

“That was meant for Miss Edwina,” he corrected her. Edwina looked up in surprise to see Lord Bridgerton headed straight for her .

The world seemed to slow suddenly around her to a sluggish pace until it is nearly at a complete stop. Lord Bridgerton was still moving toward her, agonizing step by agonizing step, his expression one of determination. Over his shoulder, she could see Daphne, the Duchess of Hastings, her eyes widening with the realization that something momentous was about to occur. Near her, Violet Bridgerton slowly began to smile a hopeful smile. Behind her, in the carriage, she heard her mother gasp. Behind her, she heard Newton let out a whine.

Edwina could feel her heart thud underneath her bosom with every step the viscount took toward her. Every crunch of the gravel underneath his feet sounded deafening to her ears. 

Then Edwina looked at her sister’s face as she turned and stepped out of the viscount’s way. Kate, who had always looked after their family. Kate, who had always wanted the best for Edwina. Kate: who kept insisting that she would be happy to be alone back in India. Kate: who always put the wants and needs of Edwina and their mother first. Kate: who never expressed her wants, her wishes, or her desires.

Edwina had seen what true heartbreak looked like twice in her life now. The first time was on her mother’s face when her appa finally passed. Now, looking at her older sister’s face, Edwina is seeing true heartbreak for the second time.

She never wants to see that look on Kate’s face again.

That broken expression on her face and the unshed tears welling in her eyes confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt what Edwina had seen with her own eyes at the ball: Kate was in love with Lord Bridgerton.

And from what she had seen on the ballroom floor last night, Anthony Bridgerton was equally in love with Kate.

Each step he took toward her seemed to thunder through the ground more than any earthquake she’d experienced. She could feel everyone’s eyes on her.

Edwina thought back over the whole country visit and summarized what she now knew:

1- Lord Bridgerton, was under the impression that duty should be his sole motivation when finding a wife. He wanted the best for his family, so he sought to court the diamond of the season (Edwina).

2- Lord Bridgerton did not love Edwina and would never love her. This did not mean he was incapable of love. In fact, his heart already belonged to another.

3- Lord Bridgerton was the type to sacrifice his own happiness if he thought his family would benefit from his doing so.

4- Lord Bridgerton was in love with Kate Sharma and Kate Sharma was in love with Lord Bridgerton.

5- Lord Bridgeton and Kate Sharma were idiots.

6- Edwina was going to have to try and save them from their own idiocy.

It had dawned on Edwina what Lord Bridgerton was about to do: what he felt duty-bound to do. It was what she had been dreaming about when she first arrived at Aubrey Hall. 

Now it was about to become her waking nightmare.

Not only was Lord Bridgerton about to do something monumentally stupid, but Kate was going to stand by and let it happen: what she felt duty-bound to let happen. Kate thought Edwina was finally going to get everything she wanted: the fairy tale romance, the happily ever after. And Kate was selfless to the point of martyrdom. Kate would never admit to anyone, least of all to Edwina or even herself, that she wanted the viscount for herself.

The problem, however, with Lord Bridgerton about to get down on one knee was this: Edwina was still bad with confrontation.

She tried to cast her mind back to any advice she might have been given on how to turn down a suitor. She found none.

Any time Edwina no longer wished for the attentions of a young gentleman, she had turned to Kate, Lady Danbury, or even her mother to do the work for her. Edwina had never had to do that for herself. She was wishing she had had the practice now.

Edwina watched in horror as she saw the viscount’s hand slowly reach into his pocket. She had to stop this. She couldn’t let him do this. If he said anything-if he got down on one knee, Edwina knew it would be disastrous. Edwina knew it would be embarrassing for all parties. No man wanted to propose in front of his entire family just to have the lady in question say no . She had to find a way to stop him. She had to find a way to say no without actually saying no.

The viscount truly didn’t know her at all! She didn’t want a proposal in front of so many people! She’d always imagined a proposal to be in a garden or in the privacy of the drawing room. Or perhaps on a well-lit terrace under the stars. 

How was she supposed to turn him down in front of both his family and hers?

Should she pretend to faint? No, he would probably insist on her staying another night and calling for a doctor until she felt made a miraculous recovery. Then he would try to propose again. That fool!

What was she to do? What was she to do?

Edwina thought back to when she spoke with Daphne about being the diamond. She had had no trouble rejecting several marriage proposals. Edwina could never reject a marriage proposal with such ease!

She remembered how Daphne talked about how she felt that she was playing the part of the diamond at times. She remembered how Daphne talked about trying to determine the people she could afford to offend. She remembered how Daphne spoke of navigating the treacherous waters of the marriage mart and she still managed to come out on top.

The viscount’s knee, ever so slowly, began to bend.

And that was when Edwina knew that she did not care one jot about looking foolish. Edwina did not care one jot if she was about to offend Lord Bridgerton deeply. Edwina did not care if she became a laughing stock. Edwina did not care about being the diamond.

All that she cared about was the knowledge that if she allowed Lord Bridgerton to ask that all-important question, it would shatter her sister’s heart beyond repair.

And Edwina would not stand for it.

“Lord Bridgerton!” Edwina yelped. “Thank you for inviting us all to stay at your lovely home!” Her almost hysterical shrieking seemed to startle the viscount sufficiently enough. He recoiled a few steps back. For all anyone knew, he had either just stumbled or was repelled by the volume of her voice.

It wasn’t quite the forceful, commanding voice Edwina had hoped would come out of her, but it seemed to do the trick.

On the steps of the house behind him, she saw his family looking at each other in confusion.

Well, at least the world seemed to be moving at a normal speed again.

“We all had a lovely time meeting your family,” Edwina continued to say. “Truly, it will be a cherished memory.”

Lord Bridgerton nodded. “Yes, of course, but-”

“And it was so kind of you to open your home to us!” Edwina interrupted. She just had to keep talking. Keep talking, keep interrupting, and not worry about seeming rude until they were safely ensconced in the carriage, riding away from Aubrey Hall, and Edwina’s left hand remained blissfully unadorned.

“But we have overstayed our welcome and we really should be getting back to London. It is a long carriage ride and we will have much to do once we get back. Calls to make, people to see, balls to attend, fittings at the modiste, et cetera, and so on and so forth.”

She thinks she hears Lady Danbury mutter “What in god’s name is she doing?” behind her, but she can’t be sure.

“And I am sure you are eager to have us out of your hair,” Edwina says when Lord Bridgerton opens his mouth again, “so that you can attend to any of your duties you might have neglected while we were here. Perhaps you also wish to spend time with just your family. Just as I wish to spend time with mine.”

“Yes, but Miss Edwina-” the viscount begins again. She sees his hand twitch toward his pocket again.

Don’t. You. Dare! Edwina thought venomously.

She prays for lightning to strike. She prays for locusts. She prays for some sort of divine intervention to save her from this stupid man who was not taking a hint and seemed determined to keep trying to propose.

Edwina hoped for Kate’s sake that this man’s lack of intelligence was only a temporary infliction.

Edwina’s prayers for salvation must have been heard and the universe finally smiled down upon her. An angel came forth to extricate her from this most excruciating encounter. This angel just so happened to also be the viscount’s sister.

Daphne Basset, the Duchess of Hastings,  was suddenly standing between Edwina and Anthony, arms wide open, an angelic smile on her face. “It was so lovely getting to meet you, Miss Edwina!” she exclaimed.

What followed next was a series of maneuvers so well-executed, that Edwina almost thought it had been planned ahead of time. 

First, Daphne placed one hand across Edwina’s back, one hand at her arm, and spun her around to face the Danbury carriage. 

Next, as Edwina and Daphne turned, she saw Benedict and Colin Bridgerton come up behind their brother, seize him by either arm and haul him back to the steps of Aubrey Hall.

And just as she began to complete her turn toward the carriage, Eloise, Gregory, and Hyacinth Bridgerton materialized out of nowhere and crowded around Kate, talking over one another in their haste to tell her how much they enjoyed having her visit at Aubrey Hall, they loved having her there, and perhaps they would see one another soon back in London.

“I shall have to invite you and your family to tea at Hastings House when I am back in London,” said Daphne. “We have a library that I would be happy for you to make full use of.”

Edwina stared at the duchess in awe. She was an angel .

She vowed then and there that, should she have a daughter, they would be named in Daphne’s honor.

“Thank you, your grace,” whispered Edwina. She knew that the duchess fully understood the weight behind her words by the tiny, nearly imperceptible nod she gave Edwina. Then, Daphne hugged her quickly before seeing her and Kate into the carriage and sending them away from Aubrey Hall.

The inside of the carriage was silent and still as they rode away from Aubrey Hall. Edwina did not dare look at anybody in the carriage or at the house as it grew further and further away, though she could feel the eyes of Lady Danbury and her mama on her. Instead, Edwina took particular interest in the pattern of the wood of the door beside her.

When Aubrey Hall disappeared beyond the horizon, Lady Mary finally began to speak.

“Edwina,” she began gently. “What-”

“Would you care to tell us what exactly happened back there, Miss Sharma?” Lady Danbury interrupted. Her voice cut like a knife through the carriage. Edwina felt herself shrink a little underneath the great lady’s gaze.

“Back there?” Edwina echoed. “At Aubrey Hall?” 

“No,” Lady Danbury said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “At King Arthur’s round table- yes, at Aubrey Hall!”

Everyone in the carriage flinched at Lady Danbury’s raised voice.

“You do realize that the viscount was attempting to propose to you, do you not?” questioned Lady Danbury. 

Edwina bit her lip. “I-it…I didn’t expect him to do so at the last minute. And I didn’t think he’d try with so many…witnesses.”

“I understand that your nerves may have gotten the better of you today, but you cannot allow them to rule you! If you cannot control your hysterics the next time the viscount proposes to you-”

Edwina felt her eyes go as wide as saucers. “Next time?” she repeated in a whispered horror.

“ If you are lucky enough,” snapped Lady Danbury. “It will take some work on my part and your mama’s-”

How could she be talking of another proposal so soon after she had managed to evade this one? Edwina felt her heart begin to pound again.

“-we could do with having Lady Bridgerton’s help, though she would be harder to convince if she thinks you have just insulted her son-”

Edwina’s breathing began to feel laboured.

“-but we will convince Lord Bridgerton that the excitement got the better of you-”

Was it hot in this carriage? It was beginning to feel rather hot in this carriage.

“-and that should he ask again-”

“Edwina?”

“-you would be much more receptive to his proposal-”

“Lady Danbury, I think-”

“-and he’ll have his viscountess before the season is over.”

Edwina couldn’t take it anymore.

“I don’t want to marry Lord Bridgerton!” The words exploded out of her. Lady Danbury reeled back in surprise. She actually reeled back.

Edwina’s breathing was still coming quick and fast. She was dimly aware of the carriage being ordered a halt and she found the idea quite appealing. Air. She needed fresh air. Just for a moment.

When the carriage stopped, Edwina felt that if she didn't get out of this very second, she would scream. She reached for the handle the second the carriage was no longer in motion and stepped from the carriage and into the road. In her haste, there had been no time for either a box to help her step down or for a footman to offer her his assistance, which meant Edwina stumbled and fell onto the road on her hands and knees.

Edwina scrambled up to her feet before anyone who cried out in alarm could reach her and she hobbled over to the edge of the lane. She reached a tree, leaned against it with one hand, and focused on breathing.

Finally, after some minutes, her breathing slowed and her heart stopped threatening to pound right out of her body. Edwina straightened up and tried in vain to brush some of the dust and dirt from her gown. Lady Danbury’s staff wouldn’t be happy with the stains around her knees. 

The thin material of her gloves did not save her hands from being scraped. She’d just have to be careful to wear gloves that were not so translucent for the next few days.

Edwina felt better now that she had spoken the truth. She turned back around toward the carriage. Kate, her mama, and Newton had all exited the carriage and were hovering nearby, looking concerned. Lady Danbury was still seated inside and leaning partway out the window to get a better look at her. She still looked annoyed, but Edwina thought she had seen a touch of concern there as well.

“Apologies,” Edwina told everyone. “I’m feeling much better now. We can continue on our journey back to London.” Everyone was silent as they all climbed back into the carriage again. When they began to move once more, Edwina felt more prepared to speak and explain.

“I do not wish to marry Lord Bridgerton,” Edwina repeated now that her panic had subsided. “I do not think we would suit one another. Our temperaments are not compatible. His moods can be too volatile while mine can be too passive. We would not suit.”

Edwina sat up straighter, her confidence coming back in full force now that she was able to say this.

“Furthermore, I do not love him,” Edwina confessed, “and he does not love me.”

Lady Mary stopped fanning Edwina so that she could take her daughter’s hand in hers. Lady Danbury was still staring at Edwina, but her gaze had lost some of its hardness.

“Please believe me when I say that, though my actions may have seemed half-crazed and hysterical, I had good intentions, “ Edwina continued. “I did not want to embarrass the viscount by turning down his proposal, and I confess that I would not have known where to even start. I panicked, and the only thing I could think to do was to try and prevent him from proposing at all.”

Lady Danbury sighed heavily and fell back against the seat cushions. “I would have preferred,” she said, rubbing at her temples, “to have known about your change of heart days ago.”

Edwina nodded sympathetically. “I would have preferred that, too.”

Lady Mary patted her hand. “Edwina,” she said gently, “are you sure about your decision?”

“Completely,” Edwina answered immediately.

“Then we will say no more about it.”

As the carriage lapsed into silence again and Edwina had turned to look at the scenery out the window, she realized that Kate had not said a single word since they had departed Aubrey Hall.

“Kate?” Edwina said gently. She startled Kate out of her thoughts. Thoughts, Edwina knew, that were turned toward Lord Bridgerton. “You said you wanted to tell me something? Before we left Aubrey Hall?”

Kate shook her head and began to absently stroke Newton’s fur. “I’ve forgotten what it was, in all the excitement.”

Edwina knew that wasn’t the truth but she wouldn’t press it. Not now. Not here in front of their mama and Lady Danbury.

Edwina might be a debutante in her first season and a “Diamond of the First Water”, but she had a few practical skills as well. One of those skills was her ability to light a stove and heat up milk (without burning it). It was a skill she put to use to make two mugs of warm milk and bring them up to Kate’s room that night.

Edwina set down one of the mugs on the floor and rapped her knuckles against Kate’s door. The door swung open a few moments later, revealing her sister. She was already dressed for bed. Her hair was unbound and falling wildly around her face. It looked as if Kate had been running her hands through it incessantly.

“Edwina!” Kate said in surprise. Edwina crouched down and picked up the second mug of warm milk.

“I thought you could use some after the day we’ve had,” she explained. She shut the door with her hip and handed one of the mugs to Kate before she sat down at the foot of her bed.

Kate was worrying at her bottom lip. “Is something wrong, didi?” Edwina asked.

“Did I say something that made you change your mind about the viscount?” Kate asked in a rush. “Because if I did, I shouldn’t have tried to influence your decisions about him. I should have let you decide on your own. If it’s my fault that you didn’t want him to propose today-”

“Kate!” Edwina interrupted. “How many times must I tell you that nothing that happened at Aubrey Hall was your fault?” She patted the bed. “Sit down, drink your milk, and let’s talk.”

Kate finally sat down on her bed with a weary sigh. It was only after she took a sip of her milk that she spoke. “Before we left for Aubrey Hall, all you could talk about was a proposal from Lord Bridgerton. And now you don’t want to marry him. What changed?”

Edwina hesitated before she began to explain everything. Her older sister was always overprotective (another thing she had in common with the viscount) and Edwina did not want her to cut anyone down for her sake.

“I overheard a few of the Bridgertons at Aubrey Hall,” Edwina confessed. “They seemed concerned that Lord Bridgerton and I would not be a good match.”

She could feel her sister’s hackles raise. “Who-?”

“It does not matter who, didi,” Edwina cut her off. “They also said that they thought their brother might only be marrying me out of a sense of duty and familial obligation.”

Edwina drank some of her milk before she continued. “What they said about Lord Bridgerton’s reasons for marrying me was similar to what you had said. But it was easier to say that you were just being an overprotective sister. These Bridgertons were not aware that I was…well, I was eavesdropping at the time, I admit.”

Kate did not do well in trying to hide her snort of laughter.

“The point is that they were not aware I could hear them and somehow that gave more weight to what they were saying. And I was determined to prove them wrong. I was going to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Lord Bridgerton wanted to marry me and perhaps even loved me. Unfortunately, I was forced to come to the conclusion that he did not love me much sooner than I would have preferred.”

Kate reached out to Edwina and grasped her hand. “I’m so sorry, Edwina.”

Edwina shook her head and squeezed Kate’s hand. “I’m not sorry. I’m relieved. I want a marriage that is filled with love and happiness. Lord Bridgerton could have made me content, but he could not have made me happy. He may not have loved me, but that does not mean he is not capable of loving.” She withdrew her hand from Kate’s. “In fact, I believe there is already someone he loves.”

Kate was startled at her words. Edwina looked at her over the rim of the mug as she took a long drink, waiting for Kate to speak.

“What do you mean?” Kate asked.

Edwina sighed and gave her sister a look. “Didi…did you want to tell me what you were going to say this morning? Or did you want to start with what Lord Bridgerton was upset about on the dance floor last night?”

“I-I-well-he-I,” Kate stammered. “I don’t know what made him upset! I don’t!” she insisted when Edwina looked at her disbelievingly. “There was some back and forth and I told him I planned to return to India after you were married. He…he said something strange. He accused me of abandoning you. He seemed distressed. And when I followed him to his study…” Kate shook her head. “Nothing he said made sense. He kept jumping from one topic to the next. He accused me of returning to India simply because I do not like him!” Kate growled in frustration.

“I do not understand that man at all!” she complained. She put her mug down on her bedside table and crossed her arms, falling back against the pillow with a huff.

“Kate,” Edwina said gently. “I don’t think Lord Bridgerton was upset because he thought you returning to India meant you were abandoning me. He was upset because you returning to India meant you were abandoning him .”

Kate froze at Edwina’s insight. After so many false conclusions, Edwina was now certain she had gotten this one right.

“This morning…were you going to tell me that you had feelings for the viscount?” Edwina asked gently. Kate shook her head. Edwina could see she was fighting against tears.

“It does not matter what I was going to tell you.”

“But it does matter!” Edwina insisted. “Kate, you have always put aside your needs and your wants in order to look after mama and I, but you shouldn’t have to. If there is something you want, if there is someone you want, then that is not something you should deny yourself. Not anymore.”

The tears finally began to fall from between Kate’s lashes. A choked-off sob escaped from between her lips. Edwina hurried to put her mug down beside Kate’s and hug her sister close.

“You love Lord Bridgerton,” Edwina insisted. Kate sobbed again. “And I think Lord Bridgerton loves you, too.”

“Then wh-why did h-h-he try to propose t-to you in front of me?” Kate cried in despair.

“Because he’s an idiot. And all men are frightfully dim-witted,” said Edwina. “Someone very wise told me so many times.”

“ I told you that,” Kate pointed out. But Edwina saw the corner of her mouth begin to twitch upwards.

“Then you know that it must be true.” Edwina sighed and wiped the tears from Kate’s face with her thumbs. She was struck by the reversal of roles. It wasn’t too long ago that Kate had done this exact same thing for her.

“Your children will be beautiful,” Edwina said wistfully, “but I pray that they will have your brains and not his.”

This, finally, earned a laugh from her sister.

Chapter Text

If anyone were to ask those present in front of Aubrey Hall if they had any idea what had just happened…

…

…

…

…well, not one of them would be quite sure.

Though some of them had better guesses than others.

Penelope Featherington, who had been getting into her carriage at the time, had a fairly good guess to what she had just witnessed, but she would not say a thing. She may moonlight as a gossip columnist, but she was not an idiot. To say what happened in detail would be as good as putting a target on her back. She was the only person outside of the Bridgertons or the Sharmas to witness anything. Instead, Penelope would get into her carriage with her mama, settle in for the journey back to London, and wait and see what others had to say before she said anything herself. For now, all she could do was jump into the carriage with her mother and let their driver take them away.

(Portia Featherington, blessedly, was ensconced in her carriage during the whole episode, claiming a headache, and had not witnessed a thing).

Hyacinth Bridgerton was not sure what happened at all. She could tell that Miss Edwina looked distressed by whatever her eldest brother was saying. She could hear some whispering between Daphne, Eloise, Benedict, and Colin, but she was too focused on what was happening in front of her to really listen. Then Daphne was moving, with Benedict, Colin, and Eloise right behind her. Gregory, took off after Eloise when he saw she was headed toward Miss Sharma, and Hyacinth, not wanting to be left behind, took off after him, too.

Gregory Bridgerton was just as in the dark about what happened as Hyacinth. His brother Anthony had wanted to speak with Miss Edwina but it didn’t seem to be going over too well. Truth be told, Gregory was more focused on the elder Miss Sharma. Miss Edwina had not been exaggerating when she said her sister was beautiful in every color. She looked particularly fetching in purple today. But she also looked sad. Gregory wished he could go to her. He’d say something funny to cheer her and get her to smile again.

He heard some mumblings between Eloise and Daphne. Then his elder siblings began to move toward the Sharma carriage. When Gregory spotted Eloise heading in the direction of Miss Sharma, he leaped off the steps in his haste to beat his sister to the woman. If anybody was going to escort her into her carriage, he was. Hyacinth foiled this plan when she followed after him and they crowded around Miss Sharma with Eloise. 

He may not have been the sole person to escort Miss Sharma to her carriage, but the slap he got upside the head from Eloise after he kissed Miss Sharma’s hand before she was ensconced inside had been worth it.

Eloise Bridgerton knew what was going on the moment her oldest brother emerged from inside the house. Anthony was finally going to do what he had been going on about: he was going to propose to Miss Edwina and make her the next Viscountess Bridgerton. Did Eloise agree with the idea of marriage? No. Did she think that Anthony and Miss Edwina were a match made in heaven? Pfft! Of course not! But she liked Miss Edwina and Miss Sharma immensely. It would be a boon to have two more intelligent women to add to the family.

But then the proposal started to go sideways. Eloise brightened. It seemed that Miss Edwina had decided being leg-shackled was a fate worse than death after all! Then Eloise grimaced as Anthony seemed to keep trying to get the words out and Edwina kept trying to escape. She felt the worst for Miss Sharma, who was the closest to the whole encounter. It must be like having front row seats to a play where the actors were working off of two entirely different scripts.

Eloise’s attention was caught by Daphne. She leaned in closer when her sister beckoned her to do so, as did Benedict and Colin. Daphne quickly whispered a plan to them before she hurried over to Miss Edwina, arms wide open, expressing how much she enjoyed getting to meet her. Eloise trailed behind with Benedict and Colin.

When Daphne gave the signal with her left hand before taking hold of Miss Edwina, Benedict and Colin moved swiftly to grab Anthony while Eloise ducked around them to get to Miss Sharma. Hyacinth and Gregory had not been originally included in the plan, but they had seen fit to follow Eloise anyway and crowd around Miss Sharma with her. Eloise sighed in relief when the carriage pulled away. Only then did she give her brother Gregory a swat on the back of his head for kissing Miss Sharma’s hand.

Daphne Basset, the Duchess of Hastings (formerly Miss Daphne Bridgerton) knew exactly what was going on: Anthony was an idiot who was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. She liked Miss Edwina very much. She felt like a kindred spirit in some ways since they had both been named diamonds in their own seasons. But she also knew just from talking to her that Miss Edwina and Anthony were not meant to be together. Anthony’s heart belonged to Kate Sharma. Daphne knew it and Anthony knew it. And confronted with the idea that he might actually love his wife, Anthony panicked and decided to propose to Miss Edwina after all.

Daphne could do nothing to stop it. She could only stand there and watch.

But then, Miss Edwina started acting strange. Frantic. Her voice was raised. She sounded almost panicked.

Daphne recognized that look in Miss Edwina’s eyes. It was the look she had seen in many ballrooms when a young woman was trapped in a conversation with a man she didn’t want to converse with. It was a look that said help and I need an escape. It was all clear to her now!

Miss Edwina didn’t want Anthony to propose!

Well, that changed things! Now Daphne had to stop it. She would have to save Miss Edwina from this awkward situation and save her idiot brother from embarrassing himself any further. But she would need help.

Daphne got the attention of Benedict, Colin, and Eloise, who all looked equally concerned as her over what was happening. “On my signal, you two,” she indicated Benedict and Colin, “need to grab Anthony, get him away from that carriage, and don’t let him go until it’s gone. And you,” here, she turned to Eloise, “should go and escort Miss Sharma into the carriage. I’ll take care of Miss Edwina.”

Daphne marched down the steps and inserted herself in between Anthony and the woman he was attempting to propose to.

“It was so lovely getting to meet you, Miss Edwina!” Daphne exclaimed, her arms wide open. With her left hand, she made the signal and she heard chaos erupt as she spun Miss Edwina toward the carriage and all but threw her inside. Then when Miss Sharma entered the carriage moments later, Daphne slammed the carriage door shut with a snap and urged the driver onwards. She waved after the carriage as it departed with her younger siblings, breathing a sigh of relief.

Benedict and Colin Bridgerton knew what was going on and they were equally in awe at the depths of their older brother’s stupidity. How was he not seeing that Miss Edwina did not want him to propose? Truly, she was doing him a kindness by trying to prevent him from asking the question at all. No man wants to get down on one knee and have to come back up with a “no.” But did they interfere? Or did they let Anthony get himself out of this predicament on his own? 

Daphne decided for them.

When she told the two of them to grab Anthony, they didn’t balk at their younger sister giving them orders or question the wisdom of them in the slightest. In fact, they delighted in it a bit too much. Anthony, in his confusion, wasn’t putting up a fight and came willingly.

Violet Bridgerton had been certain she had just been about to witness her son proposing to the woman he had spent weeks courting. But every time it looked as if Anthony might get down on one knee or reach for the ring, Miss Edwina grew more frantic. She caught the eye of Lady Danbury in the carriage behind the young debutante and found her friend just as confused as she was. 

Violet had been so distracted by trying to have a silent conversation with Lady Danbury, that she completely missed out on her children whispering to each other. They suddenly all moved off at once toward the carriage. Violet could only watch as Benedict and Colin hauled Anthony back toward the house while her remaining children helped the Sharma sisters into their carriage and urged it to drive away.

Anthony Bridgerton had no idea what the hell just happened. Daphne’s words from the previous night had settled his resolve. He knew he had feelings for Miss Kate Sharma. And now it was time to do something about it. 

He had to propose to Miss Edwina Sharma.

It was the only logical choice.

He had seen how love could destroy a person after the one they loved was gone and he couldn’t bring himself to do that to someone else.

Anthony pushed down everything inside of him that was screaming for him to reconsider this plan. Miss Edwina was the diamond of the season. He was Viscount Bridgerton: the most eligible bachelor of 1814. They made sense on paper. Why shouldn’t he propose?

But when he went to do so, Miss Edwina kept interrupting him. Anthony, confused as to what was happening, kept trying to find an opportunity to get his proposal over and done with.

Then, in the space of a few moments, Daphne inserted herself in the space between him and his would-be intended. He barely had time to register this new development before he felt his brothers seize him by the arms and start walking with him back toward the house.

Embarrassingly enough, it took this action for Anthony to realize what had been going on: Miss Edwina was rejecting him. Miss Edwina did not want him to propose. Miss Edwina had been trying to stop the proposal.

Anthony had thought he was sure of what Miss Edwina’s answer would be. What could have possibly changed her mind?

The silence on the steps of Aubrey Hall was deafening as the family watched the Danbury carriage disappear into the distance. Every guest was now gone and the Bridgertons were alone again.

“Would anyone care to explain what just happened?” Violet Bridgerton finally asked.

Chaos erupted.

“What on earth were you thinking? ”

“You weren’t on your best form today, brother.”

“Can you really not tell whether or not a woman is interested anymore?”

“Well, at least she’s escaped the confines of marriage for now.”

“Gregory kissed Miss Sharma’s hand!”

“I was being a gentleman!”

“I thought you were finally coming to your senses-”

Anthony turned and walked back into the house. His family followed.

“I can’t believe you would be this boneheaded- ”

“Have you never been rejected before? It would explain your behaviour just now.”

“Well, there is a first time for everything.”

“Yes, and hopefully there is no next time.”

“Gentleman? You’re thirteen .”

“That’s still a gentleman!”

“After everything we discussed last night, I thought you understood-”

“Last night? What did you discuss last night?” Violet interrupted. She looked between Anthony, who had his back to everyone, and Daphne, who was suddenly studying a nearby floral arrangement with interest. The whole family fell silent, looking expectantly between their mother and their siblings, waiting for an answer.

Anthony, who had been pacing like a trapped animal ever since he and his family had reentered the house, turned and strode toward the back entrance to the house. His seven siblings went to follow, but Violet Bridgerton stopped them all.

“You two,” she barked, pointing to Benedict and Colin. “Follow him but do not say anything. Make sure he is well.” Her sons did not need to be told twice and hurried after their elder brother. 

Then Violet rounded on her two youngest. “Gregory, Hyacinth, go back upstairs. Make sure you have everything ready for our journey back to London tomorrow. And Eloise,” she added, turning to her second daughter, “can you go see if Francesca’s headache is any better.”

“You’re banishing the younger half of your children upstairs,” Eloise accused. Violet did not attempt to correct her daughter. “I miss the days when there were only six of us and you were included in the younger half,” Eloise grumbled to her sister as she stalked past her to the stairs.

Violet turned to Daphne. “You know something,” she said. It wasn’t a question. She knew her daughter knew something. “Daphne, if there is something I need to know, then I suggest you tell me now.”

Daphne sighed. “Fine,” she conceded. “But I would suggest moving this conversation elsewhere. The younger ones are eavesdropping on us right now, just out of sight.”

They heard a gasp from somewhere up the stairs, followed by Eloise’s cry of “Traitor!”

Anthony needed a minute.

Anthony needed a minute of peace.

Anthony needed a minute of peace and quiet.

Anthony needed a minute away from his family and their questions and their concerns and their wild accusations.

He walked out of the doors to the back of Aubrey Hall and into its gardens. He walked past the flowers, past the shrubbery, and across the lawn, to the large, twisting tree he had run to after that damned bee had stung Ka-Miss Sharma.

He was only dimly aware of his brothers that were following behind him.

Anthony did not collapse against the tree this time. Instead, he paced in front of it and let his mind wander over the past twenty-four hours. What had happened? What had changed? 

What had he done wrong?

Last night was the ball. He had been waiting for Miss Edwina to come into the ballroom. Miss Sharma had done something different with her hair. The curls were falling around her face as they had in the library during the storm when her hair was loose and unbound- focus on Miss Edwina.

Anthony had claimed her first dance and then claimed another. They had made some polite conversation, but Anthony couldn’t remember what was said now for the life of him. Eloise’s raised voice caught his attention. She sounded upset. He would have to find the time to talk to her about it.

Anthony had spun Miss Edwina around and almost missed Miss Sharma standing at the edges of the dance floor. He had always seen her in teals, blues, purples, and lilacs, but tonight she was wearing a dusty rose coloured gown that almost matched the color of the walls in the ballroom. It was as if she was part of Aubrey Hall, like she was meant for Aubrey Hall-

Focus on Miss Edwina!

Anthony went and fetched two glasses of lemonade after his and Edwina’s second dance. Lady Danbury caught his attention and he spent a few moments conversing with her about the evening so far. He crossed the room to Miss Edwina and handed her a glass of lemonade. Miss Sharma stood next to her sister, looking shy and unsure, and biting her lip.

And then he was dancing with her.

Had he ever seen Miss Sharma dance at a ball before?

Surely not. He would have remembered.

Normally Anthony’s thoughts were elsewhere when he danced with a lady. Half of his mind would be on the dance, his partner, and their conversation, while the other half would be thinking of the work he had left in his study, a question he needed to ask his solicitor, or a half-finished letter he needed to finish writing. 

Tonight, his focus was solely on Kate- Miss Sharma.

They did not speak until Miss Sharma brought up Miss Edwina and the subject of the proposal. He hesitated. Somehow, now that she was on the precipice of giving him exactly what he wanted, he just wanted to grab her and pull her toward him and-and-and-

And then she pulled out the rug from under him by announcing her intentions to return to India once her sister married.

Anthony found himself panicking as he fled the ballroom that night. It was not quite the blind panic that had gripped him in the aftermath of that damned bee sting, but it felt quite close.

Kate followed him to his- Miss Sharma  followed him to his study.

Anthony knew he was making no sense as he went from one thought to the next in the blink of an eye. All that mattered was that she was leaving. She would leave England and go back to India. Would he never see her again? Did she dislike him so much that she wanted to flee across the ocean?

And then he was moving toward her, breathing in that intoxicating scent of soap and lilies. He didn’t know what he was going to do. He didn’t know what was going to happen next. All that mattered was that Kate was still here. Kate was still here with him.

Anthony would never know what would happen next because Daphne barged in and ruined it.

His situation was different from Daphne’s. He hadn’t compromised Miss Sharma. He could still propose to Miss Edwina in spite of the knots his stomach twisted itself into when he thought of it.

But then Daphne had to go and say that one word that would change his perspective on the whole matter: love.

Anthony was no idiot. He knew he wanted Miss Sharma. He knew he desired her. He knew that if Daphne hadn’t walked in, Anthony would have been tempted to take things far, far past the bounds of polite society.

But love-

It was something he had feared had already come to pass in the moments after that damned bee sting. It was what had sent him into a panic after he and Miss Sharma parted ways that morning. But Anthony had denied it. He had suppressed it. He wouldn’t even allow himself to think of it.

But now that Daphne had spoken it out loud, Anthony knew he could, if he let himself, love Miss Sharma. It was the one thing he had promised himself would never be in his marriage. Now it had become imperative for him to get his proposal to Miss Edwina over with.

Except the proposal hadn’t happened. Miss Edwina had been desperate to stop him, now that Anthony thought back on it. It should have been more obvious, in hindsight. But he had been so singularly focused on getting the proposal over and done with that he kept trying to blindly get past the obstacles Miss Edwina was putting in his way.

Then Benedict and Colin pulled him away and the Sharmas left in Lady Danbury’s carriage, leaving only dust in its wake.

And now, Anthony was not engaged to Miss Edwina.

Anthony was not engaged to Miss Edwina.

Anthony was not engaged to Miss Edwina.

Anthony was not engaged to Miss Edwina.

Anthony was not engaged to Miss Edwina.

Anthony was not engaged to Miss Edwina!

He suddenly stopped his pacing and let the overwhelming feeling of relief flood through his veins.

And then he laughed.

He didn’t quite know why he was laughing.

Had he become hysterical? He didn’t believe so, no.

Had he gone insane? Quite possibly.

Anthony doubled over in his laughter, hands on his knees. If he had been turned toward his brothers behind him, they would have seen that his smile was wide and blinding. His stomach was no longer twisted into knots. He felt relieved, happy, and free.

Anthony Bridgerton was not engaged to Miss Edwina Sharma, and he couldn’t be happier about it.

His laughter finally tapered off after some minutes and he resumed his back and forth pacing. It was more leisurely before. Anyone looking at him now would assume he was a man deep in thought, enjoying the fresh air of the English countryside. A great contrast from earlier, where he had looked like a wild animal trapped in a too-small cage. His smile was still wide and bright.

Anthony was not engaged to Miss Edwina.

She did not want him to propose, so he could more or less view their courtship as effectively over and done with. They had no attachments or commitments to one another that could cause a scandal. They were both free. Miss Edwina could continue her search for a more worthy husband than he. Anthony had not tied himself to an unthinkable fate. And now Miss Sharma-

Anthony froze.

He was the biggest bloody idiot in all of England.

He had just tried to propose to Kate’s sister in front of Kate .

He had tried very hard not to look at her in his quest to secure a proposal from Miss Edwina. He still saw that she looked beautiful in purple. He still saw that hopeful look in her eyes before he said he was there to speak with Miss Edwina. And when he looked back at the carriage, he still saw that hurt look on Kate’s face, despite her efforts to put on a brave face for his family.

Kate knew exactly what he had been trying to do that morning. She was no idiot.

Anthony Bridgerton was an idiot .

Deciding to fix his mistakes that very minute, Anthony turned on his heel and hurried back to the house, barely sparing a nod for his two brothers watching over him like sentries. He heard the two of them scramble to follow after him.

Anthony began to form the steps of his plan in his mind as the house grew closer: pack up the most important papers for him to bring back to London, have his trunk packed and sent back with the rest of the family tomorrow, order a horse to be prepared, ride back to London, procure a bouquet of flowers, go to Lady Danbury’s house immediately and then-

“Anthony!” Violet’s voice broke through Anthony’s frantic internal planning. He skidded to a halt just inside the house. Benedict and Colin nearly collided with him from behind.

“Anthony, I think we should speak now,” Violet said.

“I have some important things I must take care of before I return to London,” Anthony replied. He needed to go today. He needed to go now. He couldn't waste another moment. “So I’m afraid I’m unable to speak-”

“It wasn’t a request,” Violet interrupted. With her parasol in one hand, she took hold of her son’s free arm and steered him back outside and away from the house.

“I just spoke with Daphne,” Violet began. “And I wanted to speak to you about what happened today and about what Daphne said. I could tell by the look in your eyes when you came back into the house just now that you’ve made another decision you’re determined to see through. I wanted to offer my counsel first before you did anything rash.”

Anthony did not go back to London that day.

Chapter Text

Dearest Gentle Reader,

 

While much occurred at the Bridgerton country visit, this author feels not all is fit to print. Especially when so much is already known by far too many members of the ton.

Prudence Featherington managed to secure a match with the new Lord Featherington before the visit was over. This author can only attribute such a success for the young Miss Featherington to dumb luck or divine intervention (for it certainly wasn’t Lady Featherington’s insistence on dressing her daughters in unflattering citrus tones).

The Featherington match, however unexpected it might have been, was not the most shocking news to emerge from the country party.

When it was first learned that the viscount had invited Miss Edwina Sharma and her family to his country home ahead of the rest of the ton, many assumed that a proposal was imminent and that wedding bells would soon be ringing for the diamond and this season’s most eligible bachelor.

However, Miss Edwina Sharma departed Aubrey Hall without a proposal! What could have happened in those days at Aubrey Hall? Did Lord Bridgerton find the diamond lacking? Did Miss Edwina Sharma find Lord Bridgerton lacking? Has Miss Edwina Sharma decided to set her sights higher than a viscount? Did the two of them quarrel?

Or did Lord Bridgerton ask that question many young ladies are dying to hear, only to have his would-be bride tell him no?

 

LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS

29 APRIL 1814

 

Dearest Gentle Reader,

 

It appears that the courtship between Miss Edwina Sharma and the Viscount Bridgerton has officially come to an end. I hope none of you lost your fortunes when placing bets on when the wedding would be.

Since Miss Edwina Sharma has returned to town, the floodgates have opened and many eligible young men can be seen paying calls to Danbury House. None of them have been Lord Bridgerton.

Whatever happened between the two seems to have had no ill effects on this season’s diamond. She has recently been spotted, as usual, dancing on the ballroom floor and promenading in the park. Perhaps another gentleman will have a better chance at winning her heart?

 

LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS

3 MAY 1814

Dearest Gentle Reader,

 

Just as Miss Edwina Sharma was largely unaffected by the events (or non-events) at Aubrey Hall, it seems the same can be said for Lord Bridgerton as well. The viscount returned to London with his family the day after the rest of the ton. Since then, he has made appearances at balls and parties, escorting his mother and sister (Lady Violet Bridgerton and Miss Eloise Bridgerton respectively). This author has even seen Lord Bridgerton escorting several young misses to the dance floor. Though, once can’t help but notice that the number of dance partners for Lord Bridgerton has decreased since the beginning of the season.

Is the viscount still smarting from the sting of rejection?

Or is he simply fatigued from an already long season?

Perhaps the very idea of having to go through the complex rituals of courtship yet again is enough to exhaust the ton’s most eligible bachelor.

 

LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS

5 MAY 1814

 

Dearest Gentle Reader,

 

This author is inclined to believe, much to her disappointment, that whatever did happen between Miss Edwina and Lord Bridgerton was not fraught with the drama the readers of this column so desperately crave. Members of both families–most notably, the Duchess of Hastings, Lady Violet Bridgerton, Lady Mary Sharma, and Lady Danbury–have expressed to anyone bold enough to inquire what exactly happened, that the decision to end the courtship between Viscount Bridgerton and Miss Edwina Sharma was a mutual one and ended quite amicably between the two.

 Though nobody has yet to see Lord Bridgerton and Miss Edwina Sharma interact with one another or even occupy the same room since returning from Aubrey Hall, it seems that no bad feelings are lingering between the two families. 

Lady Mary Sharma was seen speaking with Lady Bridgerton outside the modiste for quite some time hardly a week after the collapse of the courtship between their two children. 

Miss Edwina Sharma was invited, along with her family, to tea at Hastings House by none other than the Duchess of Hastings herself during the intermission of the Smythe-Smith Musicale (making many ladies in the room turn green with envy). 

And Miss Eloise Bridgerton was seen promenading with Miss Kate Sharma in the park on Thursday last with Miss Penelope Featherington and Miss Sharma’s corgi, Newton, also in attendance. 

Speaking of the elder Miss Sharma, she unexpectedly seems to be attracting some attention from the ton’s gentlemen as of late. She has been seen on the dance floor with several eligible bachelors. She was also seen speaking with Mr. Thomas Dorset whilst promenading in the park with her family one very recent afternoon. By the looks of things, Miss Sharma found Mr. Dorset rather charming.

Curious, indeed!

 

LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS

13 MAY 1814

 

It had been two weeks since Kate last laid eyes on Anthony Bridgerton.

And she was completely unbothered by this fact.

Truly, she was.

It wasn’t as if she stalked the edges of the ballroom floor to see if he was hidden in the crowd. It wasn’t as if she craned her neck this way and that when she was out in town with her family to see if she might spot him. It wasn’t as if she held her breath every time Lady Danbury’s butler entered the drawing room to announce a visitor (and promptly released it when it was someone for Edwina or Lady Danbury, or even when there wasn’t a visitor at all and the butler had another reason for coming into the drawing room).

Edwina was not fooled.

“He will seek you out when the time is right, didi,” Edwina told her. “I am sure of it.”

“I don’t know who you could possibly be referring to,” Kate said nonchalantly. “Oof!” Edwina had elbowed her in the ribs!

“Sorry!” Edwina apologized. “I did not intend to hit you so hard.”

“But you did intend to hit me,” Kate hissed back at her. She looked back to make sure that the maids chaperoning the two of them were still out of earshot. “And you cannot be sure.”

“No, I cannot,” Edwina conceded. “But I still believe after an appropriate amount of time has passed, he will approach you. The ton has seen that I have moved on and am unbothered by the whole thing, as is the viscount.  They have also taken notice that there is no ill will between the Sharmas and the Bridgertons. Lady Whistledown herself has reported as much and everyone takes her word as gospel.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Lady Whistledown!” she scoffed. It must truly be a slow news day if that gossip had seen fit to report her dancing at a few balls. Most of the men had sought her ought because they were interested in Edwina and wanted Kate’s approval. One had shown some marginal interest in Kate herself, but they had changed their mind before the dance was over.

True, she had found Mr. Dorset quite charming and funny, after he allowed her a few barbs for his part in the deception at Ascot. But even a broken clock was right twice a day.

Beside her, Newton huffed out a little bark, as if he, too, was scoffing at the mention of Lady Whistledown.

“The point is that Lord Bridgerton is a gentleman and he would not wish to tarnish our reputations or the reputation of his own family by making his move too soon. He would not wish to inadvertently cause a scandal. However, if he still hasn’t shown his face by next week, I’ll go to Bridgerton House myself and drag him by his ear back to Lady Danbury’s.”

The mental picture of tiny little Edwina, dragging Anthony Bridgerton-who had nearly a foot on her-by one of his ears across London, made Kate giggle in spite of herself.

“He will come to Danbury House this week,” Edwina said determinedly. “I am sure of it.”

Kate held her tongue. She loved her sister, which is why she chose not to dash her hopes callously.

“I don’t even want him to show his face to me,” Kate muttered darkly. “I would not be able to control my temper. Or my tongue.”

Kate did not like to dwell too much on the day of the almost-proposal, but her mind still strayed there. She had just made up her mind and worked up the courage to tell Edwina something . It had not been easy to convince herself it was a good idea. She did not want to hurt her sister. She did not want to break her sister’s heart. She only wanted Edwina’s happiness. It had been so long since Kate had admitted she wanted something for herself.

And then she heard Anthony’s voice call out. She saw him standing on the steps of Aubrey Hall. Kate’s treacherous heart began to pound. The butterflies in her stomach began to swarm. She, stupidly, in hindsight, allowed herself to hope.

It was all ruined when she was given the cut direct in favour of Edwina.

Kate felt her stomach turn to lead and the blood in her veins turn to ice at his dismissal. And as she realized what was about to happen, she could feel the tears well up in her eyes.

But then, a miracle happened and they fled from Aubrey Hall without an engagement between Edwina and Anthony.

Kate’s stomach had been in knots for days afterward. There was the hurt from being brushed aside so callously so Anthony could propose to her sister. There was the overwhelming relief that flooded through her with the newfound knowledge that there was no betrothal and the courtship between Edwina and Anthony was over. Kate had allowed herself a moment to feel happy before guilt immediately followed.

And while most of these feelings had dissipated as the number of days between the almost-proposal and the present increased, Kate still felt a little hurt and angry over Anthony’s actions.

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” Edwina placated. “But I would hope that if you had an audience, you would endeavour to try.”

Kate sighed deeply. “You know why I am so vexed about it,” she reminded her sister. Kate had confided in Edwina more of what had and had not happened in the study at Aubrey Hall the night of the ball. Edwina had also been vexed on Kate’s behalf, but not quite for the right reasons.

“If the duchess had only waited one more minute, then you and Lord Bridgerton could have kissed! ” she had squealed and Kate had to quickly shush her or risk being overheard by their mama or Lady Danbury.

It had only added to Edwina’s certainty that Anthony was in love with Kate.

“I do know,” Edwina said in the present. “And I would not expect you to let him off lightly. But you know that you won’t be able to avoid him forever. Either he will call on you first or we will inevitably run into him again. One day we will be in the park, or an art gallery, or attending a concert, or arriving at a ball and we will see him there. We’ve already seen every other Bridgerton since Aubrey Hall.”

Kate’s frown deepened. The reminder that she had seen all of the other Bridgertons only highlighted the fact that she had not yet laid eyes on Anthony.

“And you should not attempt to avoid him either,” Edwina continued. “I know you feel angry with him and that he has wronged you. But after he has come to you, explained himself, groveled at your feet, and quarreled with you again, you must promise me that you will be the sister I know you to be. Be funny and brave and feeling. Be unafraid to follow your heart after doing the exact opposite for far too long. You have spent so much of your time shining your light on me. It is time for you to shine all on your own. Whatever action you take regarding Lord Bridgerton, I only hope it is because you are being truthful to yourself, and not because of anyone else.”

 Kate looked at Edwina with pride and wonder. “When did you become so wise and grown-up?”

Edwina shrugged in an attempt to look nonchalant. The effect was ruined when she couldn’t resist preening at her sister’s compliment.

“They say wisdom comes from experience and I’d say that London has been quite the learning experience so far. Wouldn’t you?”

Kate patted her sister’s hand resting on her arm. “I will agree with you on that. But I must remain my stubborn self and disagree with you on another point.” Edwina groaned impatiently. “Lord Bridgerton will not be calling any time soon. Especially not on me .”

“Dearest gentle reader,” said Edwina. She put on a ridiculous voice, sounding like a posh, elderly woman. “It has come to this author’s attention that Miss Kate Sharma is in denial-”

Kate bumped Edwina with her hip, cutting off her sister’s Lady Whistledown impression with a laugh.

Kate returned to the house alone. To hers and Edwina’s surprise, their mama had caught up with them just as they turned to make their way back to Danbury House. She was on her way to do some shopping with another one of Lady Danbury’s maids. Edwina elected to go with her, after making sure that Kate would be alright with it. When Kate entered Danbury House, she was informed that Lady Danbury herself had left before her mama to make some calls. So the house would be empty, save for the staff. Which meant Kate could have some alone time.

She mulled over whether she should play the pianoforte (Edwina cajoling her into playing at Aubrey Hall reminded her that she missed playing) or read one of the novels Edwina was raving about while she crouched down to unclip Newton’s lead. The dog, who had strolled leisurely-almost sluggishly-back to Danbury House, suddenly found a new burst of energy. As soon as he was free, Newton bounded up the stairs, barking with excitement, before Kate even got the chance to stand back up.

“What on earth has gotten into him?” she wondered aloud. Kate ascended the staircase, determined to find where her dog had got to. Lady Danbury would certainly follow through on her threats to skin him if he got into anything he wasn’t supposed to. Kate removed her gloves from her hand, nodded to a passing maid, turned into the drawing room-

-and stopped dead in her tracks.

Anthony Bridgerton was in Lady Danbury’s drawing room.

More precisely, Anthony Bridgerton was crouched down in Lady Danbury’s drawing room, giving Newton a series of commands: sit, down, rollover, good boy!

“Lord Bridgerton,” Kate said in surprise. Anthony stood quickly. The vindictive part of her that still felt bitter over the whole debacle at Aubrey Hall got a thrill out of seeing this English lord look like a child caught doing something naughty as he hurried to straighten himself and look like a dignified gentleman.

The fanciful part of her that still dreamed about those times at Aubrey Hall where his body was close enough to feel the heat coming off of it was secretly thrilled to see him here.

The heartbroken part of her that had gotten her hopes up when she saw him on the steps that last day at Aubrey Hall was fearful of what reasons this man might have for being here.

Despite Edwina’s optimism, Kate could only conclude that Anthony Bridgerton had come here today in the hopes of either convincing Edwina to renew their courtship, or entreating someone in Edwina’s inner circle to help him in his quest.

And Kate was the only one present to receive him.

Anthony quickly smoothed down his coat before nodding his head at her. “Miss Sharma,” he greeted. Lady Danbury’s butler hurried into the room.

“The Viscount Bridgerton,” he announced unnecessarily between wheezes. The poor man should consider retirement. Kate nodded at him politely.

“Yes, I can see that, thank you,” she told him gently. The butler shuffled back out of the room, leaving the doors open for propriety, of course. For all intents and purposes, Kate was truly alone with Anthony.

Kate was not normally one to let her nerves get the better of her, but she could feel them creeping up on her now. Her only consolation was that Anthony seemed nervous, too. She wrung her gloves. He rocked back and forth on his heels. Her tongue darted out and licked her lips. His eyes fell to her lips.

“If you are-” Kate began to say.

“Lovely weather-” Anthony said at the same time. 

They both stopped. Kate looked at him disbelievingly.

“You wish to speak to me about the weather? ” she seethed. Two weeks! Two weeks they had gone without seeing one another and his first comment was about the weather.

Anthony quickly shook his head. “I was merely stating pleasantries-” he attempted to explain.

“If you are here to see Lady Danbury, then you’ve just missed her,” Kate continued. She crossed the room to the table and tossed her gloves onto its surface. She paused momentarily. Why was there a tea service set out with everyone else gone?

 “She has gone to pay some calls and won’t be back for some time.”

“I’m not-” Anthony began to say.

“If you are here to see my mother, I should tell you that she has gone to do some shopping,” Kate interrupted, turning back to face him. She should offer him a cup of tea, but she did not want to prolong his presence here. And she didn’t quite trust her hands enough not to shake if she tried to do so.

“That is-”

“And if you are here to see my sister, she is also absent from the house,” Kate continued. “Furthermore, I’m afraid it is my duty to tell you that your efforts to seek her out would be in vain.”

Anthony blinked at her. His brow furrowed in confusion. “My efforts?” he echoed.

Kate’s mouth felt dry and her heart was pounding. She forced herself to look Anthony in the eye and endeavoured to say what she needed to say.

“Edwina has stated quite plainly to me, our mother, and Lady Danbury that she does not wish to marry you,” Kate stated firmly.

“Yes-”

“And she considers the courtship between the two of you to have ceased when we departed Aubrey Hall.”

“So do-”

“So any attempts you intend to make to try and convince her otherwise would not be well received or accepted.”

“And I would not expect them to be,” Anthony agreed easily.

Kate finally paused in her ramblings, genuinely baffled by what the man in front of her had just said. This…this was not how conversing with him usually went. It was usually more confrontational. He was never agreeable where she was concerned.

Anthony took advantage of her silence and rushed to speak. “You will be happy to know that I did not come here today to seek out your sister or attempt to renew that courtship. Nor did I come here to repeat any sentiments she would find unpleasant.”

Kate took a step back in shock. “Happy?” she repeated. Her voice sounded like ice. Anthony looked nervous again. Good.

“You think I’d be happy to see you here?” Kate hissed. If she was feeling more charitable and less angry and hurt, she might have noticed the flash of hurt in his eyes. She advanced toward him until they were nearly standing toe to toe. “After everything that happened? After everything that passed between us at Aubrey Hall? You still thought it a good idea to come here?”

It was a struggle to keep her voice low so that passing servants wouldn’t hear her. It was a struggle to keep any emotion besides anger out of her voice.

“Need I remind you that you attempted to propose to my sister?” said Kate.

“Attempted,” Anthony stressed. He was starting to get agitated. His expression remained stony but there was a fire blazing behind his eyes. “I never proposed.”

“But you tried to!”

“But I never actually got the words out.”

“But you tried to! ”

“But I never said the words!”

“But you tried to!” Kate snapped. “You tried to propose to Edwina! Right in front of me!” That was the crux of the issue. It was the epicenter of all the pain that Kate had been feeling since that day. The two weeks since that day had turned the pain into a dull ache, but seeing the source of that pain again had opened up that emotional wound back up.

Anthony had the decency to look ashamed.

Kate turned on her heel and took several paces away from him. Her nails dug into the skin of her palm. Her shoulders were tense. Any efforts to calm herself felt futile. Kate turned back to Anthony and resumed her tirade.

“After-after everything that passed between us. You chose-you chose- to callously brush me aside in front of both of our families and you attempted to propose to my sister in front of everyone!”

“Yes! And it was a mistake!” Anthony finally snapped. “I should have known it was a mistake before I even tried to go through with it, but I thought-” Here, he broke off and began pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace, breathing hard through his nose. Kate thought she could almost see steam billowing out of his nose and ears as he fought to keep his temper under control. 

“I thought I was doing my duty,” Anthony finally continued. “I thought I was doing the right thing for my family. I thought I was doing the honourable thing by your sister. But I was wrong. The dust made by your carriage’s departure had hardly settled before I fully comprehended the depths of my folly.”

Kate couldn’t help but scoff. “It took that long for you to think about the potential consequences of your actions?”

“I did not say that!” Anthony protested.

“You may as well have!” Kate retorted. She heard Anthony growl in frustration. He actually growled .

“Fine, if it would make you happy, yes, it took me that long!” He ran a hand through his hair. Kate did not think about all the times she’d imagined what his hair would feel like between her fingers.

She did not .

“I have spent every day from that last day at Aubrey Hall to this one regretting the hasty decision I had made that morning,” Anthony confessed. “If things had gone any different, I might have condemned all of us to a truly unthinkable fate. The actions I took that day were those of a coward. One day, I must thank your sister for the actions she took to prevent my proposal. She is truly wiser and braver than us both.”

Kate arched an eyebrow. “Both?” she questioned. The look Anthony gave her made the fight inside of her die down. She knew what he was thinking. That look in his eyes said I know what you are doing. I know you are trying to pick a fight with me as a way of protecting yourself. Of protecting your heart.

How was it that this man knew her so well already? Why did it already feel like she had known him for her entire life?

Kate breathed in and out. She tried to remember her sister’s encouraging words about being strong and brave.

“If you are not here to meet with Edwina,” Kate finally said, “then may I inquire what your purpose in coming here today was?”

Anthony stared into her eyes with a look that had softened from something rather intense to something that looked pleading and…hopeful?

And then he said something entirely unexpected.

“Gregory and Hyacinth were asking after Newton.”

Kate blinked. Once. Twice.

Surely she had misheard?

“Newton?” she repeated.

“Yes. Newton,” Anthony confirmed. “You see, they spent quite a lot of time with him at Aubrey Hall. They got to know him quite well and got on with him much better than they had expected to at the beginning of his stay in the country. In fact, they have found that in these past few weeks…they quite miss him.”

Kate nodded. “I see,” she managed to say.

“I came here to find out if you and your family would also be picnicking in the park tomorrow,” explained Anthony, “and whether or not Newton would be in attendance with you. If yes, Gregory and Hyacinth were hoping to be allowed to play with him and walk with him. Chaperoned, of course,” he added hastily. “To make sure nothing happens to them.”

“And to make sure nothing happens to my dog?”

Anthony shook his head. “No, he’ll be fine. I’m much more worried for my brother and sister than I am about the Corgi.”

“And who will these chaperones be?” Kate wondered. Anthony remained straight-faced, but she could swear she saw the tips of his ears turn pink.

“I thought that you and I would be able to manage them well enough,” he said quietly.

Kate was going to lose the battle warring within her. The one where she was still telling herself not to smile. Not to hope. Not to dream. It might be a battle she’d be willing to lose this time. Still, she had to ask.

“It would not be thought of as a scandal? People will see us and I do not wish for it to reflect badly on either of our families.”

Anthony shook his head. “Enough time has passed. The ton has moved on. And it wouldn’t be the first time something like this has happened during a season. People will talk, they always do. But they don’t matter in this. No one else matters.”

Kate does not know when it happened, but at some point, they had gravitated toward one another again. They stood toe to toe, looking into each other’s eyes. She wanted to reach out to him and touch him. She wanted to finish what had been started that night at Aubrey Hall. But she held back.

Anthony’s gaze was still intense as he looked into her eyes, but there was also a raw and vulnerable emotion burning in them. Kate couldn’t bear to look away.

“I wanted to ride back to London that same day,” Anthony confessed in a near-whisper. “I was free from any obligations to your sister, but in gaining that freedom, I knew I had caused you hurt.”

Kate shook her head automatically.

( It does not matter what I want. ) 

( I do not think that is true. )

“I had made up my mind that I would have my horse saddled and race back to London. To come and find you. To beg for your forgiveness. I was counseled against this and advised to wait. But you must know that every day that I have waited has been agony for me. I am done with waiting and I could not have you go another day without knowing how truly sorry I am. You do not have to accept my apology or even allow it. Knowing you, you probably will not. But you must know that the remorse I feel for my actions is sincere and that you deserved so much more than that. I’m sorry.”

Kate felt her eyes watering and her throat felt thick.

“I think I can find it in me to forgive you,” she managed to say, “after an apology such as that.” Anthony smiled in surprise. His eyes looked as watery as Kate’s felt.

Ever so slowly, Anthony’s hands came up to cradle either side of her face. He wasn’t wearing any gloves. The sensation of his skin against hers was enough to make her feel weak in the knees. She reached out and clutched at his jacket instinctually.

The skin contact seemed to have a similar effect on Anthony. He let out a great sigh and Kate saw the tension leave his body. His eyes closed and he leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers. They stayed there for what felt like hours, breathing in each other’s air, and basking in each other’s warmth.

“I know I am imperfect,” Anthony finally said, “but I will humble myself before you. I want to call on you. I want to bring you flowers. I want to claim every spot on your dance card. I want to race you through the park, argue with you in an art gallery, and even pet your damn dog.”

Kate let out a watery laugh and a tear finally escaped and ran down her cheek. She felt Anthony’s thumb gently wipe it away.

“Most importantly,” he continued, “I want a life that suits us both.”

Kate nodded in agreement. “I want that, too.” His mouth was so close to hers, that Kate doubted whether a sheet of paper would fit between them. All Kate would have to do is make the tiniest movement forward, and their lips would meet.

What happened instead was Lord Bridgerton dropped his hands and took several strategic steps back. He smoothed down his jacket with nervous, fidgeting hands, only pausing when he looked up and took stock of Kate’s confused expression.

“I am a gentleman,” Anthony proclaimed as if that should explain everything (it did not), “and I am determined to act with honour where you are concerned.” He glanced at the drawing room doors before he turned back to Kate and admitted quietly, “And I do not wish to cause any scandal that might require a special license. You deserve more than that. I want to do this properly.”

If by “this”, Anthony meant “a courtship”, then Kate could be persuaded to let him go this time. But she was only human, after all. It was only a matter of time before she would no longer be able to resist. And neither would he.

Reluctantly, Kate nodded. “Very well, my lord,” she acquiesced. It felt strange to be so formal after such an intimate moment. She glanced back at the tea service. “I don’t suppose you want any tea?”

Anthony checked his pocket watch and frowned. “Unfortunately, I must take my leave. Mind you act surprised when your flowers are delivered tomorrow morning,” he warned. Kate narrowed her eyes at him.

“What makes you think I would listen to one of your orders?” she challenged. The feral look in his eyes was worth it. For one moment, Kate was sure that he would lose control, pull her roughly into his arms, and kiss her. But the moment passed and he seemed to get himself under control.

“Will I see you? In the park tomorrow?” Anthony asked. A hint of worry and uncertainty had crept back into his voice. Maybe he was also afraid that he would wake up and find all that had passed had been a dream.

“Yes,” Kate assured him. “I will be there. As will Newton.” And because she couldn’t help needling him, she had to add, “You do realize we will most likely not get through the picnic without you vexing me in some way?”

Anthony grinned at her. “Is that a promise, Miss Sharma?”

Kate grinned back at him. “Yes. Yes, it is a promise.” And it would be the first of many between the two of them.

Dearest Gentle Reader,

 

What is the rarest sight of all? Is it a diamond? Is it a blue moon? Or is it a bright and sunny November day in London?

The real answer may surprise you.

The rarest sight of all, especially among the ton, is Lord Bridgerton’s smile. I don’t mean the polite smile he bestows upon hostesses, debutantes, and his fellow peers. I mean a real, genuine smile. One that is carefree and full of the joys of life. Perhaps his family sees this smile, but no one in the ton has been fortunate enough to witness such a rarity.

That is, until yesterday’s picnic in the park.

While families of the ton lounged in the shade, promenaded along the path, or took a boat into the water, the two youngest Bridgertons endeared themselves to Miss Kate Sharma and were permitted to play with her dog. Lord Bridgerton, ever the consummate eldest brother, joined Miss Sharma in watching over both dog and siblings (though who needed the most protection, the dog or the children, this author is unsure).

Lord Bridgerton, who was reported in this column to seem fatigued from the season, found new energy in his company. He and Miss Sharma were all smiles with their young charges and with each other. This author was too far away to hear what the party was saying to each other but had no trouble hearing Lord Bridgerton’s laughter echo throughout the park.

Miss Sharma found him equally amusing if her smiles and laughter were anything to go by.

What a rare and curious sight, indeed!

 

LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS

15 MAY 1814

 

Dearest Gentle Reader,

 

Lord Bridgerton was seen shoving Lord Fife into a nearby flowerbed in his haste to assist Miss Kate Sharma from the Danbury carriage upon its arrival at Lady Winthrope's ball.

Since it has been reported in this column that Lord Fife recently made a rude remark about Miss Sharma within earshot of Mr. Colin Bridgerton, this author is inclined to believe that the shove, while done absentmindedly, did not result in Lord Bridgerton feeling any remorse.

Furthermore, he was seen dancing that evening with Miss Sharma one more time than is considered de rigueur. This is truly romantic stuff, indeed!

 

LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS

20 MAY 1814

 

Dearest Gentle Reader,

 

Well, well, well.

Frequent readers of this column will not be surprised to hear that an engagement has been announced between Lord Anthony Bridgerton and Miss Kate Sharma.

Both families are reported to be traveling back to Aubrey Hall next month for the ceremony. It is to be an intimate, private affair, with only the families in attendance.

In other words: this author is not invited.

 

LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS

29 MAY 1814

Chapter Text

ONE YEAR LATER

Dearest Gentle Reader,

 

Is it a blessing or a curse to be named the season’s diamond? For many young ladies, being named the diamond is something they have been working toward for most of their lives. If you asked them this question, many of them would say it would be a blessing. But long-time readers of this column might be inclined to call it a curse.

The Duchess of Hastings was named the Diamond of the First Water in 1813 when she was still Miss Daphne Bridgerton. Seeing as she married a duke and even entertained the notion of becoming a princess, one might be inclined to say her season was a success. But her season got off to a truly rocky start with her overbearing, overprotective older brother nearly driving every eligible suitor away. The truly odious Nigel Berbrooke was the only one, except for the Duke of Hastings, to stick around until he left town over his own scandal being revealed in this very column.

Then, there is last year’s diamond to consider. Miss Edwina Sharma is young, beautiful, intelligent, and talented. But she has managed to do the one thing that no other diamond has done: she has remained unmarried. At first, it seemed as though she might end up marrying Lord Anthony Bridgerton, but the two found they didn’t suit. Instead, he married her elder sister: Lady Kathani “Kate” Bridgerton (formerly Miss Kate Sharma). And no one was more surprised than this author when the 1814 season ended and Miss Edwina had yet to accept a proposal. In fact, she’d rejected at least five! A new record, to be sure!

While this year’s diamond, Francesca Bridgerton, seems to be sailing through her season with relative ease, who knows what kind of complications could arise? Despite the attentions of the Earl of Kilmartin, whispers of the curse continue to circulate. For the first time, the title of diamond might not be the most coveted prize among the ladies of the marriage mart.

 

LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS

20 APRIL 1815

If Lady Whistledown herself were to ask Miss Edwina Sharma if it had been a blessing or a curse to be named the diamond, then the young lady would say both. When she was first named the diamond, it felt like her crowning achievement. All of the hard work that Edwina and her sister had put in had not been for nothing. She could have her pick of all of the ton’s eligible suitors.

But there were some downsides to being named the season’s incomparable. Thanks to the guidance of her family, Lady Danbury, and the Duchess of Hastings, Edwina was more easily able to spot the men that merely wanted to possess the diamond instead of woo the woman. That was the true curse of the diamond. If one wasn’t careful, it was too easy to make the wrong choice.

Before long, all the men started to blur together in Edwina’s mind. It did not help that she seemed to have the same conversation with every last one of them. The only one that had seemed different was Lord Bridgerton, but no, Edwina had only been blinded by his charm. She had never truly seen the real man underneath it all.

But her sister had.

Edwina could hardly contain her excitement when she first saw Kate and the viscount at that picnic in the park a year earlier. Families of the ton had not-so-conspicuously looked back and forth between the man and herself when they heard Lord Bridgerton’s boisterous laughter.

“It’s not unheard of for a suitor to start the season courting one sister, only to end the season by marrying another,” Lady Danbury had told her, “but we’ll still have to manage things early on so that the talk doesn’t get out of control.”

So while the ton watched and waited for Edwina’s reaction, she turned to her companion that day (whose name had completely escaped her now) and her mama and said, “Kate’s always been quite witty. I’m glad to see that someone finally recognizes and appreciates that wit.”

So when her sister’s engagement was announced several weeks later, no one really batted an eye.

However, when Edwina had finished the season without a proposal, that shocked the ton more.

But she did not think her remaining unmarried after her season meant she was cursed. This was, in fact, a blessing. Now that her novelty of being the diamond had worn off, perhaps she would finally find someone who was not interested in possessing her like so many had last season. 

And so far, her theory had been right. The men who sought her company for a dance or a promenade through the park were more interesting than any she had spoken to last season. The only problem was that they were all dreadfully boring. There was no connection. No spark! It felt more like conversing with an acquaintance than a potential husband.

Edwina found she was quite looking forward to the reprieve a country visit would bring her as she, her mama, and Lady Danbury traveled in the carriage once more to Aubrey Hall for a country party. Much like last year, she would be arriving ahead of the rest of the ton. Unlike last year, Kate would be waiting for her when they arrived.

Anthony had offered to provide lodgings in London for Edwina and her mother shortly before his and Kate’s nuptials, but Lady Danbury had put her foot down. More accurately, she had stomped her cane down dangerously close to her brother-in-law’s foot.

“If Miss Edwina does not marry this season, I will be sponsoring her for another season and she and Lady Mary may remain here with me,” she had insisted. “Stop trying to remove my guests from my home.”

Anthony had conceded on this but promised to find lodgings for her mama after Edwina married. On top of this, shortly after he and Kate had returned from their honeymoon, he also offered to provide a dowry for Edwina. Recognizing the look in her sister’s eyes, Edwina graciously thanked her brother-in-law before hastily excusing herself from the room to join the other Bridgertons in the garden.

(This had been a wise move on Edwina’s part. Judging by the thoroughly mussed up state of Anthony’s normally well-groomed hair when the pair finally joined the rest of the family an hour later, Kate had been rather thorough in showing her gratitude to her husband.)

The offer of a dowry, while unexpected, had brought Edwina some relief. Not long after Anthony began to court Kate in earnest, her sister finally confessed one last secret she had been keeping. 

Learning of the Sheffield’s deal with Kate for Edwina’s dowry had been surprising. Their mama had not been happy that Kate had gone behind her back to make that deal. Then that disappointment turned to guilt over Kate feeling as if she had to take on that burden after their father’s death.

In the end, Edwina was given a choice of whether or not she wanted to go along with her grandparent’s plan. She chose to call the deal off, but she would still like to meet them if they were amenable to it.

The Sheffield’s, angry that their offer was being discarded, declined to come to London to visit. It stung, Edwina had to admit, that a relationship with her only living grandparents came with strings attached. But maybe it wasn’t worth it to try and get to know them.

Every last Bridgerton came rushing out of Aubrey Hall when their carriage finally pulled to a stop. Even little Augie Basset came out to greet them, toddling between his parents as they held his hands and helped him descend the steps.

Edwina couldn’t resist skipping up to her sister and dropping into a curtsy. “Lady Bridgerton,” she greeted. She always got a kick out of referring to her sister by her title. Being a viscountess suited Kate more than anyone could have guessed. She was still learning the ropes, she still encountered some bumps, but she was starting to embrace the role and settle into it.

But Kate was still Kate, and she couldn’t resist rolling her eyes at her sister. “Hello to you, too, bon,” she replied before she pulled her sister into a hug. “How was the journey from London?”

“Long,” Edwina answered truthfully. “But peaceful.”

Anthony sidled up to Kate’s side in that moment. “I will give you ten pounds if you let Newton ride with you in your carriage back to London,” he offered.

“Anthony,” Kate scolded.

Edwina smirked. “It’s not my carriage, it’s Lady Danbury’s,” she pointed out. “You’re free to offer her ten pounds to transport Newton if you wish.”

Anthony paled at the very idea.

“I thought you and Newton had found some common ground,” Kate teased her husband. Anthony turned to her, his eyes bright and his expression soft.

“You are the common ground,” he practically purred to Kate. His arm was already snaking around his wife’s waist as he began to lean in–

“If you could kindly stop monopolizing my daughter’s time,” Mary interrupted. “I’d like a chance to say hello.”

Anthony sprang back from Kate, the tips of his ears turning red. “It’s good to see you, too, Mary,” he said when he recovered.

After a flurry of hellos and how are yous, Edwina was finally shepherded inside of Aubrey Hall once more. She was placed in the same room she and Kate had stayed in during their first visit. This time, she would be staying in here alone. The idea still made her feel lonely. She had never known a life without her sister, but now Kate was forging a new life with her new family.

Once Edwina had changed out of her travel dress, she joined Kate in her study for chai.

“How are you?” Kate asked as she handed Edwina her cup.

“Much the same as I was when you saw me last week,” Edwina replied. “I am much more interested in how you are doing.” She glanced downward towards Kate’s torso. “How is my nephew treating you today?”

Kate ran a hand over her belly. The minuscule bump was only noticeable if Kate pulled the fabric of her dress tightly against it, but that would change before long. 

“I am perfectly well,” Kate assured her sister. “But I wouldn’t let my husband hear you call the baby your nephew if I were you.”

Edwina frowned in confusion. “Does Anthony not want an heir?”

Kate smiled dreamily as she looked down at her belly. “He says he wants a child that is healthy, happy, strong, safe, and loved, regardless of its gender. But he is also convinced it’s going to be a girl and he will start an argument with anyone who suggests otherwise. He says wants a miniature version of me in the nursery. He’s absolutely besotted with the idea.”

“That’s because he didn’t know you when you were young,” Edwina teased. Kate huffed.

“If I weren’t a viscountess and with child ,” she warned.

“You still wouldn’t do anything because you love me too much,” Edwina finished with a grin. “How has it been planning your first country party?”

“I’ve had plenty of help from Violet and Daphne, so it’s been fairly smooth sailing,” said Kate as she began to prepare her own cup of chai. “The only headache has been the guest list. Violet needed to be sure there were plenty of eligible young ladies for her unmarried sons. But then she needed to rustle up enough eligible young bachelors to help balance the numbers. But they can’t be too eligible, so they don’t outshine her sons.”

“Goodness!” said Edwina. “That sounds like quite a guest list.”

“It’s on my desk right now, actually,” said Kate, waving a hand toward it. “Could you bring it over here? I’m trying to familiarize myself with all of the names before they all arrive.”

“You and your lists,” sighed Edwina as she crossed over to the desk in the corner. “Some things never change.” She frowned down at the list as she picked it up. 

“Cressida Cowper ?” Edwina complained. Kate sighed.

“I know . But I couldn’t get around it. At least she makes every lady around her look miles better by comparison.”

Edwina sniggered at that. “I’m not sure if I recognize even half of these names now.”

“One of them is the vicar’s son,” Kate confessed. “He’s only sixteen.”

“Is this one him?” Edwina asked, pointing toward a name at the top of the list as she brought it over to her sister.

Kate shook her head. “No, not him. No, he got an invite because Gregory’s history tutor wasn’t able to make it, but he did suggest a friend of his from Oxford as a replacement.” She sipped her chai with one hand as she held the list with another. “I know I’m getting plenty of help with this, but it’s still my first country party as the viscountess. I want it all to go well.”

“And it will go well,” Edwina assured Kate. “Trust me, didi. And have faith in yourself.”

Edwina was roped into playing a rematch of last year’s game of pall mall. Although she did not expect to do any better than she had the previous year, she no longer felt the pressure of needing to perform well. She would never be a great pall mall player, but she would be entertained by everyone else’s antics.

“Darling,” Anthony was saying to Kate as Edwina approached. “Are you sure that you should be–”

Kate whirled on him with a glare so heated, it could melt glaciers. “If you are about to suggest, that I shouldn’t be playing pall mall in my condition , then there will be hell to pay, Anthony Bridgerton!” she warned her husband. “Besides, Daphne is much farther along than I am, and she’s still playing.”

Edwina looked over at the rather pregnant Daphne. Idly, she wondered how well the duchess would be able to see her ball past her protruding belly.

Anthony, chastised, muttered an apology to Kate and the game finally could commence.

Since Edwina and Kate were family this year instead of honoured guests, the order of the players went strictly by age instead, which put Edwina’s turn between Daphne and Eloise. The game was much like last year, too. Anthony and Kate were the most competitive with each other, Benedict and Colin mocked each other and their elder brother, Daphne managed to look elegant and graceful even with her pregnant belly, and Eloise cackled whenever her brothers had a terrible shot.

When it was Edwina’s first turn, she lined up her mallet, took a swing, and missed the wicket entirely. She didn’t even graze by it. She went far, far too wide. All of the Bridgertons clapped politely. She heard Colin Bridgerton say “that was a good try, Miss Edwina.”

And Edwina snapped.

“No, it was not a good try,” she insisted as she whirled around to face the rest of the players. They all looked a little taken aback.

“It was a terrible shot. I might never be a ruthless, cutthroat, bloodthirsty, hotheaded, maniacal competitor like the rest of you Bridgertons, but that doesn’t mean I need you to coddle me or lie to make me feel better when I do badly on my turn,” Edwina insisted. “It was patronizing when you did it last year and it’s patronizing now! And if you’re all going to tease each other any time of you bungles your turn, then I expect the same treatment.”

“My apologies, Miss Edwina,” Colin said sincerely bowing his head to her. “Now, tell me, were you trying to aim your ball toward the wicket or toward London?” Edwina nodded in satisfaction.

“That’s much better,” she said in approval.

Later in the game, Edwina was standing off aways from the rest of the players with Eloise. They were watching Anthony and Kate argue about a play while Benedict looked back and forth between them, looking amused.

“You know,” Edwina said, turning to Eloise, “when I was here last year, I was in the library looking for a book, and I overheard you and your brothers discussing how you didn’t think a marriage between Anthony and I would be a good idea.”

The loquacious Eloise was struck dumb. Her jaw dropped. It actually dropped . “Edwina, I-I’m so-” she stammered.

“Thank you,” Edwina interrupted. “Everyone around me except for Kate was always going on and on about what a terrific pair Anthony and I would make and how sure they were it would be a love match. It was easy to brush off my sister’s concerns as her just being overprotective. But you gave me a harsh dose of reality I hadn’t realized I needed. You saved not just me, but my sister and your brother as well. So, thank you.”

Eloise breathed out a sigh of relief. “I would have been content to call you my sister-in-law,” she said sincerely. “But I’m happier to call you my friend.” 

Edwina agreed wholeheartedly.

When the rest of the ton descended on Aubrey Hall several days later, Kate stood with Violet and Anthony, welcoming their guests to the home, while Edwina sat with Daphne in the shade and people-watched.

“I’m half-tempted to go and tell your brother Colin that if he isn’t careful, his face will freeze that way,” Edwina remarked. The aforementioned Bridgerton was scowling, and doing a very poor job of hiding it, at Michael Stirling, who was deep in conversation with Penelope Featherington.

“Did you ever find out what happened?” asked Daphne. “Colin has been down in the mouth for quite some time now.”

Edwina rolled her eyes. “I’m afraid your brother said something rather stupid and Penelope overheard. But you didn’t hear it from me.”

“Will you tell me what it was later?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Daphne pouted. “Edwina!” she whined in a most unladylike fashion.

“I’ve been sworn to secrecy! I promised Penelope I wouldn’t go into specifics so that it wouldn’t get back to Colin,” she explained. “I probably shouldn’t have even told you as much as I have.”

Daphne shrugged. “I had already guessed he had said something stupid, anyway, so you haven’t betrayed her confidence.”

“I would certainly hope not,” said Edwina. She glanced over at her sister again to see who she was greeting now. She was playing a game with herself to see how much she could remember about each person. What was their name? What was their family like? Had she danced with them before? What comments did Kate and Anthony have to say about them?

But the man speaking with her sister made Edwina draw a blank. He was wearing a dark grey coat, with a waistcoat and cravat in a deep maroon colour. He stood tall on long, spindly legs and a mop of unruly black hair topped his head. It made him look a little boyish. And when he smiled, she thought he looked rather handsome.

“I’m not sure I know him,” Edwina mentioned to Daphne.

“Ah,” said the duchess after she followed her friend’s line of sight. “I do believe that is Mr. Arjun Bagwell. I don’t know much about him except that he’s a scholar at Oxford.”

Edwina’s eyebrows shot up. “Well! It’s certainly not every day that you meet a scholar when you’re among the ton,” she said in surprise and (she could admit) some interest.

She did not see the curious look Daphne gave her as she said, “No, it most certainly is not.”

As Edwina joined the others in the drawing room downstairs before dinner that night, Daphne pulled her aside.

“There’s been a slight change in the seating arrangements,” she told her. “Your seat is still in the same place, but I did not want you to be confused when you saw an unfamiliar face sitting next to you.”

The only thing that confused Edwina was Daphne’s secrecy and the excited energy she could feel coming off of her friend in waves. Last minute seating arrangements happened all of the time. So long as Edwina saw her name card next to her plate, she could be sure that she was where she was supposed to be.

But why did Daphne keep looking at her with barely-concealed anticipation before it was finally time to walk into dinner?

Edwina got her answer when she saw that instead of sitting next to Eloise Bridgerton, she was sitting next to Mr. Arjun Bagwell.

Her eyes snapped to Daphne, who was looking rather smug. Right, well, obviously Edwina hadn’t been as subtle as she thought when she had snuck glances at him throughout the day. Yes, she had thought him rather handsome, but that didn’t mean anything. Plenty of handsome faces had come and gone from Lady Danbury’s drawing room but then she got to know them, and she learned that a handsome face couldn’t make up for everything. No matter how handsome Mr. Bagwell was, Edwina was sure she had nothing more to look forward to than an evening of good food and dull conversation.

“Are you enjoying your time in the country, Miss Sharma?” Mr. Bagwell asked. It still felt strange to be Miss Sharma now when she had always been Miss Edwina before.

Edwina nodded. “I am,” she confirmed. “It is always nice to see my sister and her family in the peace and quiet of the country. Though, to tell you the truth, I myself am more partial to city life.”

“I understand you completely,” Mr. Bagwell agreed. “There are comforts of the city I miss, but there’s nothing quite like reading a book in the fresh country air.”

Edwina was surprised by his answer. Normally, when gentlemen extolled the virtues of the country, they would speak of hunting, fishing, and little else. Mr. Bagwell was the first man who had said something original.

“My sister-in-law mentioned that you were a scholar at Oxford,” said Edwina. “What exactly is your area of study?” From her conversations with other graduates from Oxford, one would think that the only subjects that were taught there were Latin or Greek. Men of the ton always brought this up when they learned Edwina knew Greek and they wanted to impress her with their language skills.

(She had, so far, been unimpressed).

“Archaeology,” Mr. Bagwell replied.

Edwina was surprised.

(And impressed).

“Archaeology?” she echoed. “Are there any particular ancient civilizations you would consider yourself an expert in?”

Mr. Bagwell blushed. Edwina, unsuccessfully, told the butterflies in her stomach to settle down.

“I wouldn’t say expert ,” he admitted. “There is still so much to learn about these ancient people, and I’m still rather young. But I am quite knowledgeable about the Ancient Greeks. I’ve been to Greece to study their ruins several times now. I would love to go and see Egypt one day, but until their writing is finally deciphered, the knowledge of that civilization has been lost to the sands of time.”

“Mr. Bagwell was telling Gregory and Hyacinth about the lost city of Atlantis earlier,” Francesca added across from Edwina, making her jump. The rest of the dining room had seemed to fade away while she was engaged in conversation with Mr. Bagwell.

Francesca smiled one of her mysterious smiles and continued, saying, “They were rather disappointed when you told them it wasn’t real.”

“I never said it wasn’t real,” Mr. Bagwell defended himself. He looked a little panicked and nervous as he glanced between Francesca and Edwina. “I merely said that the archaeological evidence to support its existence was lacking at the moment, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t be found one day. The earth still rattles the ground in Greece to the modern day. I don’t doubt that one of its cities could have sunk into the sea.”

Edwina nodded in agreement. “When I was a little girl, someone who worked in the palace library where my sister and I grew up once told me about Rama’s Bridge. Tamil Nadu was once connected to Sri Lanka by a land bridge until a great cyclone tore through the area around three hundred years ago. Some areas of the land bridge are still dry, but most of it now lies just a few feet beneath the waves.”

Mr. Bagwell’s eyes lit up in delight and for a moment, it stole Edwina’s breath away. “I believe I’ve heard that story,” he said. “But I remember it being called Adam’s Bridge.”

“It has many names,” Edwina confirmed. “There’s Rama’s Bridge, Nala’s Bridge, Adam’s Bridge, and even Bridge of the Sea. Same place, many names. I’m sure you must run into that problem all the time in archaeology.”

Mr. Bagwell chuckled. The sound warmed her heart. “Like you wouldn’t believe.” They smiled at each other. Edwina thought she could get easily get lost in his eyes forever.

“Are you returning to London after the ball?” Mr. Bagwell asked after some time. Edwina confirmed that she was. “I’m sure you’re never short of a dull moment living in Bridgerton House.”

“True enough,” Edwina agreed. “But my mother and I are actually residing in Danbury House. Lady Danbury is an old friend of my mother and was kind enough to sponsor me for my season. Though, if I am ever in need of having my day livened up, I can always visit the Bridgertons.”

Edwina cast her eyes down toward her plate, feeling a little uncharacteristically nervous. “And will you be returning to Oxford, Mr. Bagwell?”

“Actually, I have some business to attend to in London first,” he confided to her. Edwina looked up. She wondered if her eyes looked as hopeful as Mr. Bagwell’s did just now. “I’ll probably be in town for several weeks. I often find myself traveling between Oxford and London. Though, like you, I do not plan to return until after tomorrow night’s ball.”

Edwina had thought last year’s ball was beautiful, but she felt in her bones, her heart, and her soul that this year’s Hearts & Flowers Ball would be magical. She knew tomorrow night would be a night she would always remember.

Dearest Gentle Readers,

 

It seems that time and patience does indeed pay off and all talk of curses can be officially dismissed. Miss Edwina Sharma, last year’s diamond, has finally accepted a proposal! But who is it that has finally captured this young debutante’s heart? Well, it should come as no surprise to readers of this column that her betrothed is none other than Mr. Arjun Bagwell.

Though he is a second son and unlikely to inherit his brother’s title, Miss Edwina Sharma seems to care little about this. And is it any wonder why! It is plain as day to this author that Miss Edwina Sharma, like her sister, the Viscountess Bridgerton, has found herself a love match.

 

Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers

29 May 1815