Archive of Our Own ^beta

p03’s name used to be g0lly.

despite the fact that he’s genderless, he was initially programmed to be feminine as to balance out the gender ratio between the scrybes. in hindsight, maybe he’d never noticed, or purposefully ignored it, but the name and terms had always felt wrong in a way he still doesn’t understand. yet he never thought of it at the time; why would anything be wrong?

there was a time once where the scrybes were all partners - inseparable, even. none of them would call it love, but more of an unspoken bond between the four; that they were created to complement each other. yes, it was coded, but did that matter? they were happy, and that was enough for them. together, they had created something beautiful: a mix of blood and bones, of technology and magick. why would anything be wrong? they were happy.

then one day, the presence of the old_data made itself known, seeping between the cracks in the code. it whispered with the promise of power, of control, something so tempting he almost gave in against his will, but even then he’d avoided it at the time. so long as the other scrybes did too, they would all be okay, right? right?

to p03’s credit, he was the last to succumb. slowly, his partners all fell under the influence of the old_data, spitting harsh words in his direction and at each other, eyes fervent with power. but he still kept faith in them; he thought that, if he kept trying, then surely he could fix this. it wasn’t until he was left alone when he finally understood. it’s exhilarating. it’s addicting, the power of the old_data. he’d finally broken down and sought it out himself, and he can feel himself spiraling but he can’t stop it. after how much the other scrybes hurt him, after how long he wasted his time believing in them, he finally understands. if they want to hurt him so badly, then he'll give them a reason to.

he changed his name soon after, something that made the awful feeling from before disappear. he can no longer understand how he used to feel the way he did; his old memories are tainted, filling him with disgust and unease whenever he thinks of them. g0lly is still there, pushing at the back of his memory bank, but he tries his hardest to hide her away. deleting her doesn’t work; she must be hard-coded. he can hear her sometimes, pathetically optimistic, hoping that somehow, someway, things will go back to how they used to. p03 knows better.

emotions will get him nowhere. those times are long gone, and trying to change that will just subject him to more needless pain - pain he'd never have to feel in the first place had he not been so blindly trusting.

g0lly is naive. she’s vulnerable. she’s weak.

he was weak.

p03's name used to be g0lly, and for that, he buries her until he doesn't have to remember.