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It's been centuries. Centuries of pain and grief cause by the slow aging of an immortal. Centuries since the death of GreatGourdius’s loving wife. He may possess the body but her spirit is gone, and has been for not long enough to forget. But is any amount of time enough to forget the warmth and kindness of the one true soul who completed you. She stained Gourd's memory like she was still there, in the body that the great pumpkin god refused to let go of. They say healing takes time, but time doesn't bring people back from the dead, and neither can a god.
Although it may not seem it, gods need coping mechanisms too, and Gourds just so happed to be the realm of Hypixel. It was the perfect place to get your mind off worries. Mindless games with strangers is just the thing to boost spirits. Gourdius and her wife used to love going here. Her wife always won, but that never seemed to bother the great god as he just enjoyed spending time with his soulmate. Even centuries later the realm still stood and Gourd still failed at improving their skills at any of the games.
Gourd stood in front the game options deciding as the voices that seems to regularly occupy their mind made unhelpful comments. These voices weren't always the most pleasant, but they made good company to the god who failed to create connections with mortals, due to the fear of repeated events taunting them. Why would Gourdius risk becoming attached to someone when he knows he will outlive them anyway. It's just mental torture the god doesn't want to play a part of.
Eventually, after many back and forth bickering with the voices gourd made the decision. Bedwars would be the game to play that day. What's the worst that could happen, it's just a dumb game.
Gourd walked to the game and clicked it. Even after many years he never did get used to the feeling of teleporting into it. Like the rushing wave of falling with nowhere to land, and the void is sucking you into its grasp with no intent of letting you go. Though their feet did touch the cool glass floor of the waiting room after only seconds, and she looked around to scope out the fellow contestants.
It seemed about the same as usual but there was something different this time. There was nothing special about them from surface view, but that didn’t seem to matter at the moment. They caught Gourdius’s eye in an instant and he didn’t think he had the power in him to look away. It was like the world stopped and every particle of energy in the universe was focused on this mortal in front of them. The god looked them up and down from their feathers to their beak, and eventually reaching above their head where this mysterious person's name lay. Duolingo. Even down to their name Gourd saw them as perfect. Gourd was ready to forget the centuries of not socializing with mortals at this very moment. He saw the opportunity and took it, running towards this creature as fast as the body he possessed could go. But then the timer started. Five seconds was not enough to make it. Even if she could make it that wouldn’t be enough time to connect with this person. The only hope was to play the game, and try to reach out to this person through it.
The game started the same as always. The familiar falling of the teleportation didn’t sooth Gourdius’s worries one bit as they hurried to regain balance, just barely managing to not fall flat on his face. The great pumpkin god’s mind raced as she thought of ways to charm this mysterious being. As much as she wanted too though Gourd could not just run to them, for if he lost this game, it was over. They would never see this angelic being again.
The aim of the game was to break the other team’s beds and kill them all while gathering recourses and protecting the bed in the center of your own floating island. There were few other floating islands that provided greater recourses than the ones spawned at your own base and Gourd knew that’s what she had to go for. He had to put all that he had into this game if he really wanted to gain the attention of the being who caught his heart in a web.
They shakily tried to push down the stress bubbling inside them and collect the resources spawning in front of them. He bought wool and trusted his fellow teammate would protect the bed. That bed was the only thing keeping them from dying permanently. He could not take it for granted.
Gourdius hurried towards the edge of the floating island and started bridging to the nearest diamond spawner. But in a moment of recklessness, they missed the block. Two blocks into the bridge and she was already falling. Nearing closer and closer to the empty space of the void with every second. Maybe if he had just tried to focus a little more, steady his hands. Maybe if she wasn’t so focused on this person that she didn’t even know. Why was her brain just now deciding to focus on these mortals, after centuries of not wanting anything to do with them. What was it about them that made the once great god want nothing more than their focus and attention. Gourdius promised himself he would never replace the one he once had to call his wife, but something about this feathered one made them want to shatter this promise like a mirror against the concrete.
But alas they were falling. The void waiting with anticipation to swallow them whole. The emptiness surrounding and swirling like black smoke filling your lungs as there is no hope but to keep falling and maybe, just maybe you will reach an end. And they did. Gourdius reached the end of the void and was respawned right back at the base from which he fell from. The bed was not broken and there was still hope to reach their potential lover.
Now back in the game, Gourd continued on building the bridge this time trying extra careful to stop and focus on what she's doing. They continued on, gathering recourses, building defenses. Everything was going well on their side. That was until green invaded their base, and gourd saw them. Duolingo was right there, in arms reach. It was a moment Gourd never wanted to leave. Their eyes locked and, in that moment, he believed everything was perfect. But Duo had other plans.
Maybe Duo didn’t see them the same way, or maybe Duo was just playing the game unaware of who they were in front of. Either way it didn’t matter, because the moment Gourdius realized what was going on she had been knocked into a void she had become all too familiar with. Was it possible to start to like this feeling of the endless nothing. With nothing around to feed into your pain, no one there to occupy the mind you feel slowly inching away from your grasp with every minute that passes. Does it make one crazy to reach out to the loneliness. Grief cannot exist when you give yourself nothing to grieve over, and you may never feel loss if you never gain anything to lose.
As Gourdius respawned back on the platform once again he was met with devastating news. Green had taken their bed just as Duolingo had taken their heart. Gourd could see no other option than to just go for it. She had to ask Duolingo out right here, and right now. The god pulled open the player chat as fast as their trembling hand could and typed the question. “Can I take you out on a date? In mid.”
Gourdius didn’t know what the response could possibly be. What's the chance that this stranger could ever love someone they don’t even know. What if it's just fate for Gourd to never find love. Millions of questions were racing around Gourd's mind. The anxiety was coursing through their skin so fast they thought any second their legs were going to give out. It felt like forever before the green bird responded, but they did. Their answer made the great pumpkin gods soul fill with the warmth of a thousand suns. They said yes.
This was really happening and Gourd could not be more thrilled. The only problem was they hadn't gone on a date in centuries, and they certainly didn’t pay enough attention to mortals to know what they do. He thought of the dates he once had with his wife and mentally replayed what would occur. Gourd decided as the one who asked duo on a date, she should bring a gift. Only the best for the one he might have to call his lover if everything goes to plan.
They hesitantly walked over the thin rickety bridge toward the center of the game arena. Waiting there for her was a table and sitting there at that table was Duolingo. This was really happening. Maybe Gourd really could mend together the love life he’s been working so hard for so long to keep in pieces. Everything was fitting perfectly together as they sat there on that date with the one he believed had taken their heart and would not give it back.
As the date went on and the moon replaced the sun in the sky, the two decided to end the date off with a dance. She did not care that others were staring, Gourdius wanted to stay with Duo in that moment forever trapped in their presence. With the moonlight shining perfectly as if the universe created a spotlight to encase the moment, Duolingo pulled them into a kiss. And with that kiss it was as if Gourd forgot everything. Forgot about their wife who was taken too soon. Forgot the years of pain and grief one gains when they become a being more powerful than the majority.
Unfortunately though, there must be a time when everything ends. Gourd knew this. But knowledge did not prevent the pain from resurfacing when they saw the blood draining from their lovers' body. Duolingo had been stabbed from behind. The player who did it was already gone by the time the green birds body hit the floor bringing Gourdius with them. Once again the great god had to watch the one he opened their heart to lay in his arms as the life drifted from their body.
To watch one die as they suffer slowly, painfully, blood mixing with the dirt and grime they lay on, is something no one should ever have to witness. The great god however had witnessed this far too many times to count, however there were only a handful of instances where she felt the agony enough to bring an army to their knees. Sitting there on the ground as the blood soaked his skin unable to comprehend what he was experiencing as the seconds ticked by, it would not take a genius to know that this was one of those times.
It would go unknown how long it took for Gourd to finally stand up. To accept the truth of the scene still playing out in front of them. To accept that Duo was never coming back. Their body still lay, soaking anything around with the sticky red liquid that would stain Gourd's nightmares.
Gourdius had already made the decision, all that was left was to take the step. Stopping one last time to look at the body which no longer housed a soul, the great pumpkin god walked off the edge of the floating island. Letting go of the arena that brought them to and took away the love of their life in less than 24 hours. Gourd reached towards the void like an old friend welcoming it to encase his mind in nothingness. Wanting nothing more than the soul to drain from their body and instead be filled with the swirling of the dark. Replacing their trauma with the feeling of emptiness latching onto the life they no longer want to be a part of.
In that moment gourd let go of everything. All the pain. All the memories. All the trauma left them as they were willingly falling toward the end which they welcomed with peace and acceptance. However, not a minute after the great immortal slipped out of consciousness, they awoke once again for it is not that easy to kill a god. Gourd lay in the field she knew all too well as the pain encased her heart like growing vines, no sense of purpose other than to grow and conceal what lay fragile underneath.
The world will continue with Gourd stuck in it. The sun will rise and set. The plants will grow and thrive. Generations will continue their legacy. Maybe one day when the sun combusts and all the stars in the galaxy shrivel out, maybe then the great pumpkin god will be allowed to wither away but until that time comes, he will just have to let the agony grow as he curses out the universe for its cruel punishments.
Although, what is not commonly understood about the universe is that it has no sympathy. It does not know your pain and it will not take it away. Everything the universe gives it must take back. No matter how much protest, it all comes and goes swept away by a being much more powerful than your brain could ever comprehend, unaware of your very existence just as you are unaware of every ant that lives in a colony.