Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Of course that rat-bastard left the ship as soon as we got close to that hell-hole!" the woman stomped on the creaking planks of the ship. She was surrounded by a group of equally angry or confused sailors.

"Hell-hole"

- was all that echoed through the ears of the young man standing right next to her.
This time Jordie could not curl up in his cabin and wait until the ship left the foggy harbour of Ketterdam again. He grabbed the woman by the shoulder to calm her down: "We have no choice but to find him. He left with the papers of the ship, without them we would be sailing on a stolen boat." He swallowed his anxiety.

"Ten years. Ten years since this city had taken what had been left of his family. Ten years Jordie had been running away, sailing every mile of the world just to not get back to Ketterdam."

The captain-less crew left their ship. The boat itself had seen better days, Jordie realised as he saw it lying next to the other ships in the harbour. He glued his eyes to the vessels and tried not to breathe in too hard. "This damned city still smells the same." He cursed as the smell of smoke and brackwater crept up his nose anyways.
Some of the sailors followed him but the crew did not get far before they were stopped by a bunch of men with guns hanging from their waists. A tall and especially brutal looking man stepped forward and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Jordie noticed a tattoo of what looked like five birds on his arm. He did not know much about the criminal gangs of this godforsaken city and he did not intend on finding out now. Hell, Ravkan harbours had been more civilised while the land had still been at war.

"We are glad to see you are leaving our ship without an eviction-notice. Kicking you guys out would have been fun either way too.", the thug said with an oily voice.
"Your ship?" one of Jordies crewmates blurted and took an angry step forward. "Just because we lost our captain doesn't mean the ship is free to take!"
Jordie stepped in between the man, since the criminal had his hands dangerously close to the gun already. "We apologise. There has to be some kind of misunderstanding. Perhaps you can help us find the man we are looking for."
For a second the man had a weird expression on his face as if he was trying to recognize Jordie but then he laughed. "Good luck trying to find your captain. That idiot is either dead in the gutter or still dying. He is not worth it, trust me." He put a hand on Jordies arm and squeezed hard. "The fool stole money from the razor gulls and tried to pay us back with the ship. But we do not like liars so he had to pay with his life too."
He let go of Jordie who now had to hold back one of his crewmates from jumping at the razor-gull member.

"The ship is still ours and because I am feeling generous, I will let go right now without causing a fuss."
Jordies eyes went wide as he realised what was about to happen. No! Of all the places to strand it could not be this hellish-city. But it was too late. His crewmate, the one who had noticed first that the captain was missing, jumped forward and kicked the criminal in the guts. Immediately two other thugs were on her back and twisted her arms in a painful angle, so that she would not move.

Jordie could not hear anything besides his pulse as the situation around him escalated: sailors and criminals alike were kicking and punching the first ones reaching for their weapons. He ducked under the fist of a bulky man with numerous knives around his waist.
Jordie did not carry a gun and the only knife he owned was for carving. "I never needed those weapons." He realised as he got pushed on the ground and tasted the salt of the waves that were pushing against the pier. No. Not here in Ketterdam were slave-traders were as noumerous as in no other place.
But still. He could not let his now former crewmates get shot by some criminals. He crawled behind a wooden box and got to his knees again. After looking around he raised both of his hands and summoned a wave that was big enough to make a distraction but could still count as a natural occurrence.
"Make it look as if there were no Grishas involved." was one of the few useful pieces of advice his captain had given Jordie. Still he felt pride as the murky water washed over the fighting men and women and forced them to pause just long enough for most of the sailors to run. Jordie grinned, but only for a moment, then the man with an oily voice locked eyes with him, and grabbed the gun that he had dropped.

Jordie jumped to his feet and began sprinting for the streets of the city. "Are you seriously trying to outrun a gun in a city that almost killed us already?" a voice in his head asked. It suspiciously sounded like his brother.
No. No no no. He did not have the time to mourn his lost little brother as the city once again tried to kill him too.
"At least a bullet through the head will be less painful than the plague." Jordie thought, running through the uneven streets of the harbour. The shouting of the razor-gulls still behind his back. "Your grisha-constitution does not make you bulletproof." His brother's voice seemingly mocked him as a window shattered next to Jordie.

Suddenly someone grabbed Jordies arm and pulled him into a tight street that he would not have noticed otherwise. "Follow me." Was all the shadow of a woman said before scaling a bunch of barrels.
Simply because she didn't try to shoot him, Jordie decided to follow the young woman that was guiding him through the backyards of the city as if she was flying and not climbing over the fences.

Out of breath the two paused on the rusty roof of a storage hall and Jordie gasped for air. "Thank you." He managed to blurt out between breaths.
"The razor-gulls are getting more aggressive when it comes to the territory of the harbours. Try not to stand in their way if you don't stand a chance." The woman simply answered dryly and looked at Jordie for the first time.
She was a tiny suli-woman, probably even younger than him, but she wore propper sailors clothing with sturdy pants and a neat button up and vest. Her hair fell in a long braid behind her back and Jordie awkwardly straightened his own clothes realising he probably looked like he had been attacked by a bunch of rats, fastening his own hair tie again. It held up the part of his black hair that had not been shaved short like his sides.

Like with the razor-gull member the woman suddenly had a weird look on his face as if she was recognizing someone. But in her case it did not disappear after a few moments, instead she gasped lightly and Jordie felt even more awkward.
"Uh. Jordie." he stammered and held out his hand. "Thank you again for saving me from getting shot by these maniacs." But the woman did not take his hand.
"Jordie.", she just repeated with a hoarse voice and looked him in the eyes.

"I know your brother."

Now you could as well have put a bullet right through his chest. Jordie felt as if his mind was slipping away from his body and his stomach was twisting painfully.
" Im- Impossible. He died ten years ago because I could not save him. You must be thinking of a different boy."
The woman did not break eye contact: "I might as well do. But he thinks the same about you. Kaz-" she got cut off by angry shouting down on the street and turned around. "I have to go and so do you." She finally grabbed his hand and shook it.
"Captain Ghafa. You will have to find me again." Then she disappeared and Jordie was left alone on the roof.
His knees were shaking and he had to sit down, which was probably for the best since he had to hide from the voices of men shouting down on the street anyways.

His mind was filled with static and the only thing he could think of was the name the woman had given him: "Kaz" it echoed through his brain until his head hurt.
His little brother was alive and in this city. He had survived just like Jordie and made a living in Ketterdam.
Jordie climbed down the building carefully as the voices had gotten further away. He had been in enough fights to know that every man would only search so long for his opponent before giving up and moving on.

"I have to find you, brother." he whispered to himself as he staggered through the now quiet streets, suddenly not caring so much that he had lost his ship and crew.
But where to look for Kaz? His brother was smarter than to sulk in the fishy quarters of the harbour or even worse - the stave that had -only supposedly now- killed him.

As he slowly left the rundown parts of the city and entered the lively streets that were flooded by merchants selling jurda, tobacco and other goods, Jordie realised that maybe Ketterdam had a certain beauty to it. It was still a lie, a beautiful place concealing poverty and crime - but it was a pretty city nonetheless.
The financial district! Of course - if captain Ghafa had known his brother then certainly because they had been trading partners. Surely Kaz had achieved what the two of them had been dreaming of.
Jordie headed towards the exchange.

He felt once again awkwardly out of place as he entered the massive building of the exchange and stepped out of the way of a bunch of merchants in fancy black suits, who were hurrying along the hallway.
"Excuse me." Jordie managed to blurt out as politely as possible as he stepped up to a group of important looking old men. "I think I am looking for a uhhh- coworker of yours?" Gosh, he felt his face turn red, surely that was not the right way to phrase it. The group turned around and looked at him the way you'd look at a caterpillar on a sidewalk.
"Who is it that you are looking for then?" one of them answered with a nasal tone to his voice.
"I think his name is Kaz Rietveld."

The second man of the group choked on his own breath and the third shot Jordie a glare that could have killed a man. "Are you mocking us boy, or are you just stupid?"
He had expected a lot of reactions, this was none of them. Jordie remained speechless and the first of the men was polite enough to continue talking in a hushed, warning tone: "Whoever gave you that name really wants you to end up in bad places. There is no Kaz Rietveld. But there was a farmer called Rietveld involved at the auction of Yul Bajur in which Kaz Brekker of course meddled too."
Jordie just blinked in confusion, he was vaguely aware that Yul Bajur was somewhere involved in the situation with parem, but none of the other words made sense to him."
"Brekker is the leader of the dregs and owner of the crow-club. A ruthless, brutal man - if he is truly human at all." explained another of the merchants with disgust and fear in his voice.

Jordie had thanked the men a hundred times before hurrying out of the exchange. He had found no brother of his, only a warning not to interfere with the most dangerous man of the criminal underground.
"Surely I can do that. There are many places I can still search for you little brother."

Still Jordie stood in front of the casino hours later, having wandered the city aimlessly with no other trace of Kaz or the mysterious Captain Ghafa.
"I am just making sure that there is no connection to him" he whispered to himself as he entered the shady building illuminated by the afternoon sun.
Inside the air was hot and dry, it smelled like dust and cheap alkohol. Jordie immediately felt uncomfortable by the glances some of the personnel - all of them displaying a crow tattoo - shot him.
He dodged an old lady, who was an amplifier. "Thank you very much, but I don't plan on playing with high amounts of kruge involved anyways." He muttered and the woman shot him a knowing glance before letting him pass.

Jordie found a chair in the corner of a table and someone handed him a set of cards. As he still continued looking around nervously, the woman next to him scooted closer and placed a hand on his chest. Her teeth were yellow from jurda. "New to the club?" He nodded. "Come on! We can play a few rounds!"
Fortunately Jordie did not lose much money and he probably wouldn't even have lost if would not have to concentrate on the woman's hands, at least remaining on his chest.

Suddenly a small group of people entered the club and most of the tables went quiet. "Looks like the owner has decided to pay a visit." she whispered to Jordie who held his breath as the group advanced to one of the tables with high sums of kruge placed.
He had to restrain himself forcefully from gasping by biting his tongue as a young man finally entered his field of vision.
Dressed in a black coat leaning on a cane with a silver top that looked like a bird his brother stepped up to the playing men and women. Except this man could not be his brother. Kaz - the boy who loved magic tricks and hiding with the cat around the house. No. The man in front of him grabbed one of the players by the neck and threw him on the ground with such force that playing chips scattered all around the floor.
"How long did you think you could play this game?" Brekker hissed with such hatred in his voice that Jordie got goosebumps. "Losing money you don't own, putting the razor-gulls up our necks. They paid you to do this, so they have a reason to fight with us down at the fifth, don't they?"
When the man on the floor did not respond Brekker raised his cane and placed it on the stomach of his opponent, slowly applying pressure until the man yelped in pain. "Yes they did, there is no reason for the Dregs to keep it all to themselves!"
Jordie felt nausea creeping up from his stomach as Brekker let go of the man and turned away.
He still wanted to shout though as he saw the other man slowly get up and raise a gun he must have hidden somewhere but Brekker was faster. He twirled around and whacked the cane in the face of the armed man, who cried out in pain as his nose broke and blood splattered over both their clothes.

Jordie wanted to scream as Kaz turned around. His stare made something deep down in his soul shatter. This man looked like his brother, his eyes,the angles of his face, the way his now gloved hands never seemed to rest in one spot.
There was blood splattered over his face, which he did not bother to wipe away as he looked at the guests.
"We are all so very glad that we can trust in you as our honest guests. Please continue." He smiled but it felt more like a predator baring his teeth. The threat hung visibly in the air as Kaz walked away.

He passed Jordies table and for a second it felt like he looked right at him. "He is limping." Jordie realised as the crow-cane's eyes seemed to follow him.
Broken, that was what Kaz, Kaz Brekker seemed. "Broken beyond repair." Jordie muttered as his brother carelessly wiped the blood off his face. The defeated other criminal stumbled out of the amusement hall. Jordie got up and left.
"Looks like someone had a very bad day." The woman next to Jordie laughed, her gaze followed the bloodied man.

---

Kaz Brekker also had been having a bad day. The tumults at the harbour had escalated that morning, some of his letters had arrived damaged with broken signes, he had been on edge for the past days anyways. “It’s been far too long since someone jumped at me on the street.” he cursed as he walked through the alleys of the barrel trying to clear his head.
It had been out of character - even for him - to make such a public beating out of the situation, but Kaz had needed it.
The letter with the broken signet had been from Inej. Presumably. “Your brother lives, meet me at my ship at five.” - that was all that had been scribbled on the paper. No. No no no. This was a lie, Inej would not write such a thing. Someone else must have found out about it and was now using Inejs name to throw him off. Of course Kaz had not met Inej that afternoon, she probably had better things to do. “Yeah. Such as never showing up the barrel.” Kaz told himself. She had been to Ketterdam a few times, but since Inej had sailed off almost a year ago for the first time, Captain Ghafa had not set foot in the barrel again.

Kaz only realised that he had walked down to the harbours as he heard the sounds of the waves. He walked to the end of one of the piers and stared into the foggy open sea. “Where did the water go?” Kaz thought bluntly as he looked at the stretched out pieces of muddy sand that had appeared on the bay. “Looks like even the council of tides is lacking at the moment.” Still, the reaper’s barge was smoking in the distance. “That’s where Jordie is.” he called out for no one to hear. Whoever had had the idea of confusing him like this had underestimated that his dead brother haunted him already.
“Looking for more razor-gulls to beat up, huh?” a voice behind him asked and put a hand on his shoulder. Kaz twirled around and had to restrain himself from putting his cane up at the throat of the tall zemini-man that grinned at him. Kaz cursed as Jesper let go and stood next to him. “Don’t you get tired of being an evil little barrel-boss? You could spend your time doing much more fun things, you know?”
Before Kaz could give an answer the two heard gunshots behind them and for the second time today someone began a fight at the docks. “How could I get tired of the barrel if I keep ending in such thrilling situations?” Kaz answered his voice heavy with irony as the two hid behind some empty wooden boxes. Jesper looked over his shoulder to examine the situation. “Razor-gulls, a bunch of poor sailors and a merchant that is already bleeding on the floor.” He explained through clenched teeth. “I should no longer have to put up with this.”
Kaz sighed. “In that case I suggest you use that opening to leave and get a medic.” He pointed to the left, where the rivalling criminal gang was being distracted by the group of sailors.

One of the thugs slashed a knife over the shoulder of a black haired man that yelped in pain and stumbled back essentially making him fall down the pier into the water. An unpleasant ‘thud’ made Kaz realise that the man must have hit his head too.
He leaned forward to get a better look at the unlucky and his heart skipped a beat. Suddenly he was nine years old again and watched his dead brother's body slowly drift away as he no longer had the force to pull him out of the water. Except the body had been that disfigured by the plague and the water - could he truly have been sure that it was Jordie? Because the man that was leaving a thin trail of red in the water in front of him truly looked like his brother - you never forget the faces of the ghosts that haunt you.

The letter, the fight, the man in the water, Inej, Jordie - Kaz’ head was spinning, so he did the first thing that came to his mind. He handed Jesper his cane, took off his coat and jumped in the water.
“This time I won't let you drown.” was the only thought that hammered through his head as Kaz swam over to the slowly sinking body. It kept him focused enough not to throw up - because this time he did not just imagine the water rising, swallowing both him and his brother, no. This time it was real and would take both him and Jordie if he was not strong enough. Kaz knew how to swim, his brother had taught him when he had been six, and just because Kaz had not willingly entered a body of water deeper than his knees for the past ten years it did not mean he had forgotten how to do it. He grabbed his brother by the shoulders and pulled him back to the pier. His stomach twisted painfully as he felt the other man's skin through his soaked gloves.
Jesper had not moved an inch and just stared at Kaz in the water. He helped him pull the unconscious sailor out of the water and did not dare to say a thing as Kaz checked for signs of life.
The man was breathing shallowly and the cut on his shoulder did not appear deep either. Kaz on the other hand appeared far too pale and sickly for someone that had just swam a hundred metres at best.
Suddenly the sailor opened his eyes and almost spit a mouthful of saltwater at Kaz’ face who had been leaning over him. “You!” was all that he coughed, inching away from Kaz, who stared back with an unreadable expression. “He lives.” was all that he murmured, then Kaz grabbed his coat and cane from Jesper and walked away, still soaking wet ignoring the fight around him.
Kaz emptied his stomach in one of the darker alleyways a few times and simply leaned against one of the walls until the black dots in front of his eyes started to disappear. He pulled his coat tighter around his still dripping wet clothes and went to search for another ship on the pier.

Inej was sighting trough newspapers for hints on slave-traders she might have missed on her last scouting trip as someone barged into her cabin without knocking. She already wanted to complain to one of her crewmates before she looked up and was greeted with the sight of a deranged looking Kaz, his hair stuck wet and messy to his forehead and by the dripping sound she heard he was already creating a tiny puddle under his shoes.
“What on earth?” she managed to say as she got up to fetch Kaz a towel. “Did you fall into the canal finally having the guts to visit me?”
“I was busy.” Kaz murmured, wiping his face and hair dry. “Also I jumped.”

Inej did not know what to respond, like so often when talking to Kaz, so she resumed a mocking tone, which had become the main way of communication between the crew on her ship. “I didn’t even know you could swim.” But to her even bigger surprise Kaz did not give her a snarky response, he simply looked up to hear and said: “My brother was very much alive, even if he was once again dying, floating down the pier during the latest fight at the fifth harbour.” Silence filled the room. “You knew that.” Kaz added.
Inej tried to take his hands, another habit she had adopted on the ship where physical contact had a whole new context and was immediately struck by regret. But once again to her surprise Kaz did not flinch away, his jaw simply tensed a bit as she took off his cold, clammy gloves before continuing to talk. “I met him today and there is no point in denying that he is your brother.” Kaz sighed, his head hanging low low with his hair in wet curls.

“What do I do now?” He looked at Inej with such desperation and honesty, that she could look right through all the layers Kaz Brekker had carefully crafted around him and see straight in the eyes of Kaz Rietveld - a boy that had just found his brother. “What will Jordie think, if he does not already know what I have become?”
Inej carefully petted his damp shoulder. “All problems look bigger at night Kaz.”

Kaz awoke the next day with an aching back. He had indeed slept on the cabin floor, because he had refused to use any kind of bed that Inej might have used at some point but als had not felt in any kind of condition to walk back to the barrel. His problems still weighed him down by a thousand pounds. But something about Inejs presence still made him feel like there was some kind of a slim chance that he was enough of a human person to make things work. He took his now dry clothes, put on his coat and opened the creaking cabin door. He turned around one more time to look back at Inej who just stared back from her bed with raised eyebrows. “I have enjoyed your company Captain Ghafa.” He bowed lightly: “May the tides accompany you on your journey.”
Then he left, putting as much physical and emotional distance between himself and the woman that looked like a goddess who had just awoken from a magical slumber.
But Kaz also failed at that, because he still was incredibly distracted when two dark figures emerged from the shadows behind him and raised their arms.
“Finally, someone is attacking me - it’s been a while.”, was all he could think before a wave of murky water washed over him, soaking Kaz once again.”

---

Jordie was tired, he had barely slept that night. His shoulder ached although he had not been hurt badly and his head was heavy from the cheap liquor he had bought in hopes of drowning away the thoughts about his brother and the fear.
Because Kaz Brekker was a man you should fear, the merchants had been right about that, he had seen it for himself at the crow-club. But then - this man had also jumped in the water and saved him from drowning. "Pretty stupid to drown for a tidemaker in the first place." Jordie thought and rubbed his head. Still Kaz had been so close to him when he became conscious again and he had not looked like a monster that moment. He seemed miserable mostly, but Jordie was not sure whether or not he imagined it, Kaz had looked like he still cared for his brother.
Heck, of course he had recognized him, why else would Kaz have jumped in the water in the first place.
"Great. Now the most dangerous barrel-boss is aware that I am his brother and that I am in Ketterdam."
Jordie rubbed his nose and out of the corner of his eye he suddenly saw a limping figure enter an alleyway. Kaz! Seconds later his brother was followed by two dark figures that slipped behind him in the shadows.
Jordie began sprinting towards the street as he saw waves of muddy water move up and down the buildings, like no liquid out of a canal should behave - if there are no tidemakers involved.

Jordie slithered down the wet pavement as he entered the alleyway and saw Kaz lying on the ground, he must have hit his head while being washed over by one of the waves, he was bleeding.
The figures that had been attacking him wore long, dark cloaks and as they turned around to look at him their faces were obscured by a mask made of mist.
The council of tides! Jordie knew that out of everyone in this hellish city he should not interfere with these people, but apparently his brother had and now the figures raised their arms to summon another wave aimed at Jordie.
He had no other choice but to block with his own summoning. Defensively he created a smaller wave pointed towards the less bulky one of the two figures. Jordie had aimed well and their coat got washed away by the gush of dirty water as they got pushed against a wall. The attacker cried out, their voice was probably female and hurried away clutching their arm.. "Their anonymity was their biggest weakness." Jordie realised and had to duck away under more water and even shards of ice aimed at him. He yelped as his left leg got frozen in place, the ice stung and the cold crept up the rest of his once again soaked clothes.
The tidemaker got closer and took Jordies chin, squeezing it painfully and raised the other hand to summon a lethal strike.
"At least you go down in an almost honourable way" he thought to himself, moments before a crow shaped ending of a cane appeared behind the tidemaker. It hit his head with the disgusting sound of something breaking and the grisha slumped down. Behind him stood Kaz, pale and breathing heavily but alive, crutching his cane.
"No wonder the razor-gulls are getting so cocky.'' He pulled up the sleeve of the coat to reveal the tattoo of five birds Jordie had begun to hate. "That would be the third member of the council of tides dead in the last three months" Jordie looked at him in shock.
"First that homeless man who had been living behind the brothels for god knows how long, then the wife of that merchant Radmakker died birthing her child - it was a big surprise when they both turned out to be tidemakers." He looked at Jordie with a predatorios glint in his eye: "Just like-" but Jordie cut him off: "I don't want to talk about the council of tides, you just killed that man without hesitation!"
He stepped back to distance himself from his brother.
"Otherwise it would have been you that died." responded Kaz and leaned against a wall, struggling to stand straight on his own.

One part of Jordie wanted to run, far away and never return to Ketterdam and what had become of his brother, but another part wanted to close the distance between him and Kaz, take him by the shoulders and apologise for how strongly he had failed him.
In the end, Jordie stood in front of the corpse, unmoving.
"You are grisha." Kaz continued and looked up at Jordie, suddenly no longer with any evil intent behind his eyes. "That is how you survived the plague and the escape from the reaper’s barge." Jordie remained silent, impressed by how fast Kaz had pieced the story together - it was true. His escape from that ship full of bodies had been what awakened his powers.
Suddenly Kaz legs gave up and Jordie finally managed to move and catch his brother. Kaz gasped and struggled to get out of his hold. "Let go of me." he hissed and as Jordie did not react he added: "Please!" The desperation and fear on his face grew so big that his brother quickly sat him against a wall and stepped back, afraid by this reaction.

Kaz's hands were shaking, his wet clothes and the face of his brother right in front of him made the water rise faster than ever. "What happened?" Jordie asked softly. Kaz straightened his hair, steadying his breathing, ready to pull up all the walls again that protected him from what he feared, but he paused. His brother was alive and sat next to him, besides all he had done. Kaz looked at Jordie. "I have no grisha powers, I had to swim all the way from the reaper’s barge clutching to what I believed was your corpse." He breathed in deeply again. "Every time someone touches me I can feel it again - the water, the dead bodies. The night I thought I had lost my brother."

"I am sorry." Was all that Jordie managed to whisper and instead of on his shoulder he simply placed his hand next to the gloved one of his brother.
Kaz knew that Jordie would not use this against him. He got up on shaky knees. "I am freezing, let's get home." Jordie looked at him: "Kaz, I no longer have a home." But Kaz simply handed him the other side of his cane to pull him up from the ground.
"But I do."